#incorrect victorious quotes

[victoriously-wicked]

Tori: *slides into the seat next to Jade*

Jade (sulking) : I’m not in the mood for a pep talk, Tori.

Tori: You’re mistaking me for Cat. . . besides, you don’t need a pep talk. You need a drinking buddy.

Tori: Shots?

Jade: . . .

Jade: Sure, why not?

[queentaylortot]

Tori: Sometimes Jade likes to talk in her sleep

Jade, *sleepily*: Fight me, bitch. I'll stab you with scissors

Tori, lovingly: You get em, babe

[samuraiedgedchance]

Tori: You want to kiss me so bad, it's embarrassing Jade: More like kill you

[victoriously-regal]

Emma: Okay. . . I just woke up, and found this sitting on my chest.

Emma: *holds up a lizard*

Snow: Ew! A dead lizard?

Emma: It’s dead now. . .

Emma: *licks her lips*

[violenceworksusually]

Wednesday (to Weems):

[spacewarriorsam]

Robbie: (tries to give Jade a hug) Jade: (to Robbie) Hold it, nerd boy. I've had enough hugging Robbie-style

[incorrectquotesmcu]

Carol: You’re not sweating.

Y/N: Uh huh.

Carol: How can you not be sweating?

Y/N: I don’t sweat.

Carol: Everybody sweats.

Natasha: Not Y/N. Y/N never sweats.

Carol: What do you mean “Y/N never sweats”?

Y/N: Sweating is gross so I don’t do it.

Carol: Does it worry you that you never sweat?

Y/N: No.

Carol: But what if one day all your sweat just builds up inside and you explode?

Y/N, deadpan: I would love that.

[curiouslymyown]

Pandora: my names Panda

Regulus: oh like the animal

Pandora: what’s that supposed to mean???!!

Regulus: nothing I- I love pandas

Pandora: me too! They’re so cute and silly!

Pandora:

Pandora: *leaves*

Regulus: ????

[incorrectbatfam]

Tim: What’s the plan? We just hide in here forever?

Dick: Not forever. Just until Damian is calm.

Jason: So forever.

[shyjusticewarrior]

Red Hood Incorrect Quotes Pt 17

Jason: I can't girlboss without my fucking coffee!!

Jason: Google, stop showing me sex ads! I know there are desperate sluts in the area; I have a mirror!

Tim: She can be critical.

Jason: That’s okay. I take criticism really well.

Tim: No, you don’t.

Jason: What’s that supposed to mean?!

Tim: Just that you don’t take criticism very well!

Jason: Why don’t you just kick me in the face?!

[mamaspidershit]

Peter: You’re not sweating. Natasha: Uh huh. Peter: How can you not be sweating? Natasha: I don’t sweat. Peter: Everybody sweats. Clint: Not Natasha. Natasha never sweats. Peter: What do you mean “Natasha never sweats”? Natasha: Sweating is gross so I don’t do it. Peter: Does it worry you that you never sweat? Natasha: No. Peter: But what if one day all your sweat just builds up inside and you explode? Natasha, deadpan: I would love that.

[victoriously-wicked]

Cat, Tori, and Jade making s’mores at 3am…

TORI: *grabs graham crackers from the cupboard* JADE: *looks around* JADE: Wait, where’s Cat? CAT: *runs into the kitchen* CAT: Who thinks I can fit fifteen marshmallows in my mouth?! TORI: I… TORI: *sighs* TORI: You're a hazard to society. JADE: *dumps the entire bag out infront of Cat* JADE: Yeah, and a coward. DO TWENTY!

[daddiesdrarryy]

Harry: I would like to have a boyfriend I can talk to without it turning into a screaming match, Draco!

Draco: Yeah, well, I’d like a boyfriend who other girls don’t stare at all the time!

Harry: How is it my fault girls stare at me?

Draco: You could look worse if you wanted to!

[natasharswifey]

Natasha: A girl doesn't dye her hair that colour unless she has serious psychological problems

Wanda: My hair colour has nothing to do with my psychological problems!

[westofvega]

I got bored and Victorious was on my mind so I made some Twitter posts. God I wish there was a slap.com app so these would be better. 90% of these are from real conversations with me and my friends.

[marksandrec]

Marks and Rec: Misc #2609

Imogen: "Joke's on you; I'm into that shit." (Dialogue from Victorious.)