#incorrect draco malfoy quotes

[daddiesdrarryy]

Drunk Ron: Did you hear about Harry and Malfoy?

Draco: What are you talking about?

Drunk Ron: Well, right before Christmas, Hermione and Pansy walked in on them when they were doing…stuff

Draco: Where? Dorm, closet, stairway, train? Hogsmeade?

Drunk Ron: Hogsmeade?

[gryfferin-gaybies]

Draco: *walks by*

Harry: I'd hit that

Hermione: I know you don't like him Harry but violence is never the answer

Harry: right yeah violence...that's what I meant...I'd hit that with my fists

[illpunchyouintheface]

Draco: *wears a slightly lighter shade of black*

Blaise: I see you’re bursting out the spring colors.

[accio-sabrina]

Harry: as a college student, my favourite words are "cancelled" and "free"

Draco: free pizza is cancelled

Harry: why would u even say something like that

[poseidons-getting-milk]

Half-Blood Prince is like:

Hermione: I wish Ron liked me back

Ron: I wish Hermione liked me back

Lavender: I wish Ron liked me back

Ginny: I wish Harry liked me back

Dean: I wish Ginny liked me back

Seamus: I wish dean liked me back

Harry: I wish Ginny liked me back

Draco: The only way to save myself and my family is to kill Dumbledore which will end the rest of the entire wizarding world, Snape and Harry won’t get off my back, and i have no idea how to fix the magic cabinet but if i fail GrayBack will kill me and my mother

Snape: I wish Lilly liked me back

[deathnguts]

Narcissa: We decided that if, Merlin forbid, anything happens to us, we would like regulus to be Draco’s god parent

Regulus: That is great news! Draco! When something horrible happens, you’ll be all mine!

Lucius: It really is an ‘if’ situation-

Regulus, already holding Draco: All mine!

[incorrectharrypotterblog]

Hermione: why are threesomes only for sex

Hermione: why can’t I join in on a couples argument if I want to

[moutainrusing]

Sirius: If you want my advice—

Harry: No offence, Sirius, but you’re the last person we want relationship advice from.

Draco: Yeah, you thought your husband was the traitor.

Sirius: In my defence, he also thought I was the traitor.

Remus: It’s true. We’re on the same wavelength like that.

[safe-is-with-me]

Harry: When Draco is mad at me I tighten the lids on all our jars so he has to ask me for help *sound of glass shattering in the other room* Harry: It doesn't always work though

[ehliena]

Someone: black hair and a trust fund? You must be a Wayne.

[pottermagiczz]

Before Harry and Y/n started dating

Harry: I accidentally cut my finger

Y/n: Do you want me to kiss it better?

Harry: That works?

Y/n: Yeah, my mum used to do it to me when I was little

*Later*

Harry, to Draco: I need you to punch me on my mouth

Draco: F*cking finally!

[daddiesdrarryy]

Pansy: Do you think Potter is cold standing outside our dungeon like that? We should get him in here

Draco: He could get in me if he wanted to

Pansy: …

Draco: You know, for warmth

Pansy: I got it

[gryfferin-gaybies]

Gryffindor Student: *sighs* Professor Potter is so hot

Their friend: careful. Don't let Professor Malfoy hear you say that.

Draco: *walking by, trying not to laugh* yeah I hear that Professor Malfoy can be very territorial

[illpunchyouintheface]

Hermione: We all have our demons

Hermione: [gesturing to Draco] that one’s mine

[incorrectquotesharrypotterv]

Pansy: Okay, one more time. You said you asked everyone if they wanted pizza.

Y/n: Yes.

Pansy: And they said no?

Y/n: Also, yes.

Pansy: And then Blaise came down and took a slice of it, to which you-

Y/n: Took my fucking pizza back from that asshole and told him to make his own damn dinner.

Pansy: But when Draco asked for some-

Y/n: (throws her hands in the air)

Y/n: What did you expect me to do, let him fucking STARVE?!

[slytheringangstuff]

𝒪𝓃𝑒 𝒹𝒾𝓃𝓃𝑒𝓇

y/n: This food is too hot... I can’t eat it. 

Theo: You’re very hot, and I still eat you.

Everyone at the table: *silence* 

Enzo: YOU GUYS ARE DISGUSTING! 

Tom: One dinner... I just want ONE DINNER!