#incorrect draco malfoy quotes

[daddiesdrarryy]

Ron: You’re writing with your left hand?

Draco: Yes. I’m ambidextrous

Ron: That’s so cool, mate, love who you love!

*later*

Ron: Harry, did you know Draco’s ambidextrous?

Harry: Really? You think I have a chance?

Hermione: …

[gryfferin-gaybies]

Draco: *walks by*

Harry: I'd hit that

Hermione: I know you don't like him Harry but violence is never the answer

Harry: right yeah violence...that's what I meant...I'd hit that with my fists

[illpunchyouintheface]

Draco: *wears a slightly lighter shade of black*

Blaise: I see you’re bursting out the spring colors.

[accio-sabrina]

Harry: as a college student, my favourite words are "cancelled" and "free"

Draco: free pizza is cancelled

Harry: why would u even say something like that

[poseidons-getting-milk]

Half-Blood Prince is like:

Hermione: I wish Ron liked me back

Ron: I wish Hermione liked me back

Lavender: I wish Ron liked me back

Ginny: I wish Harry liked me back

Dean: I wish Ginny liked me back

Seamus: I wish dean liked me back

Harry: I wish Ginny liked me back

Draco: The only way to save myself and my family is to kill Dumbledore which will end the rest of the entire wizarding world, Snape and Harry won’t get off my back, and i have no idea how to fix the magic cabinet but if i fail GrayBack will kill me and my mother

Snape: I wish Lilly liked me back

[mairon-goth-minion]

Barty, disguised as Moody, seeing Harry and Draco, getting flashbacks from pre-relationship jegulus: oh no. oh nonono. i am not going through this again. FUCK.

[moutainrusing]

Sirius: If you want my advice—

Harry: No offence, Sirius, but you’re the last person we want relationship advice from.

Draco: Yeah, you thought your husband was the traitor.

Sirius: In my defence, he also thought I was the traitor.

Remus: It’s true. We’re on the same wavelength like that.

[deathnguts]

Narcissa: We decided that if, Merlin forbid, anything happens to us, we would like regulus to be Draco’s god parent

Regulus: That is great news! Draco! When something horrible happens, you’ll be all mine!

Lucius: It really is an ‘if’ situation-

Regulus, already holding Draco: All mine!

[incorrectharrypotterblog]

Hermione: why are threesomes only for sex

Hermione: why can’t I join in on a couples argument if I want to

[safe-is-with-me]

Harry: When Draco is mad at me I tighten the lids on all our jars so he has to ask me for help *sound of glass shattering in the other room* Harry: It doesn't always work though

[valenclaw]

Hermione: Do you even know who Lady Gaga is?

Draco: Presumably the wife of Lord Gaga.

[daddiesdrarryy]

Harry: Wow, look at you, Malfoy. I can’t believe you’d come to the Halloween party dressed as a slutty Healer. You look really good…really, uh, hot

Draco: Actually I’m just a normal Healer, Potter

Harry: …fuck

[gryfferin-gaybies]

Gryffindor Student: *sighs* Professor Potter is so hot

Their friend: careful. Don't let Professor Malfoy hear you say that.

Draco: *walking by, trying not to laugh* yeah I hear that Professor Malfoy can be very territorial

[illpunchyouintheface]

Hermione: We all have our demons

Hermione: [gesturing to Draco] that one’s mine

[ehliena]

Someone: black hair and a trust fund? You must be a Wayne.

[pottermagiczz]

Before Harry and Y/n started dating

Harry: I accidentally cut my finger

Y/n: Do you want me to kiss it better?

Harry: That works?

Y/n: Yeah, my mum used to do it to me when I was little

*Later*

Harry, to Draco: I need you to punch me on my mouth

Draco: F*cking finally!