#idk who i am

[sl8tersstuff]

I can’t forgive myself for all the things I didn’t become;

for the things I won’t become.

[forest-fire-witness]

i obsessively search inwards for my identity. it will be too late when i realize ive dug open the cavity of my chest and am holding my bloody intestines.

[soggywetcatgirl]

girl that never figured out how to be a person. is she stupid?

[lemony-ink]

I've never tried talking to someone from the same source as me (introject) and i'm considering it only for the experience of someone being able to mourn with me. It feels like I've lost the life I should have had.

[eboniibunnii]

i just wish people understood how horrible feeling every emotion at 100% feels. i either feel nothing at all or all of it all at once, it makes me feel unreal sometimes. feels like a fucking emotional curse lol.

i hate it!!!!!!!

[burningsolarsystem]

Some people might get mad at me for saying this, but I wish I could make my headmates more distinct.

I say this for many reasons. One, it gets very difficult to function when I'm in this constant blurry form. To add onto that, my personality fluxes so much that doing anything is a coin flip and I'm unsure of anything at any given time. And sometimes the change gives me whiplash. Cause I can go from happy and loving life to ready to tear someone's head off. Or from doing something to completely over it. Not to mention the amount of times I catch myself off guard with the way I talk or text because it is completely different than normal.

It is also difficult to do things when its a struggle to communicate with them or to even know who is influencing me.

Not to mention, everyone, from what I can tell, agrees that Leo becoming host would be much better for us. But we can't because they aren't distinct enough to front, let alone switch hosts.

-Sorry if this was hard to read or doesn't make sense, I'm currently blurry af.

[solarwavejuice]

owy... my ears..

Mean to you?

[nymphnana]

[x-itzzzzzz-x]

i yearn for community and connection, especially a queer community like i want to form relationships; friends and family and maybe more idk i just want to be social so bad.

like truly i am a social person i love being social and doing stuff and getting to know different people but i am held back by my autism and my fears and anxieties that make it near impossible to do stuff and it is so so frustrating and isolating cuz it’s my own fault that i am so alone and lonely

idek where to start in being in a bigger community but i rlly want to be involved with others and i also want to just kind of be involved in community building and work in the future n just yeah i need to work on myself socially so i’m capable of the things i want most but i just can’t seem to even be a decent person to the ppl in my life so i’m kind of thinking a bit wistfully

[starfeathersaga]

We just had a really weird night with our friend. They found out they were a system because we started explaining our systemhood and how it all started for us. So they started switching rapidly (they have really quick switches). Something happened between our alters and one of their alters. Idk. It feels weird having another system and I don't know if we believe them? I don't even know who I am really. We also switched a lot because seeing them switch made us feel switchy. Anyways were going to bed now. Wish us luck.

[baezen]

i need to sleep but i updated my theme instead

[pleaseevangeline]

the silence after i fucking relapse like a fucking loser who can't control herself

[xoxolottie]

“I feel when I question, my skin starts to burn…. Why does skin start to burn?” growing up raised as a heavy Christian never made coming to terms with my sexuality easy. I still feel hatred when introducing myself as a lesbian but if I don't someone else will. I'm not ashamed, I'm scared. I'm not treated the same since people found out. I'm the “gay” friend, not just a friend anymore. I don't hate my sexuality… I hate that it's become who I am. Why am I this way?

[cronaz-diary]

whatz thiz? another rant of me having an identity crisiz and being scared of being a system again?

woah holy shit again me being in denial and questioning everything im not sure who i am um genuinely think i might be sophia? wait ill try to explain it better its like theres other people in my head? in a non delusional way? and its like im not me but me at the same time but like im multiple people?? i dont know but i still feel weird about talking to a literal character in my head

and to make it more confusing im prone to severe delusionz, bpd doez not help with it.

im scared of posting about thiz still cause fucking fake claimerz but idk im not me but me but not me and everything is confusing and new to me

(plz only systemz or ppl who r very knowleged in that help if ur a endo fuck off)

[daaaku]

The gifted son? or the prodigal son?

[autistic--daniil--dankovsky]

being a system is fun 'cuz sometimes you'll be like "hey, who the fuck am i"