#just an introject in my feels ig

[lemony-ink]

I've never tried talking to someone from the same source as me (introject) and i'm considering it only for the experience of someone being able to mourn with me. It feels like I've lost the life I should have had.

[snezhnayan-nights]

"created systems r fakers" hi does this include created alters

i mean ig it's debatable if some of my facets were "created", since some people will say "oh you only influenced a split" or like "oh your brain thought you needed this". i mean... i guess, but i refuse to believe that i fixated so hard on a character i made that i just felt the need to have him in my brain.

then i felt those little fragments calling out to me and i thought "yeah, let's make this dude", and i made more stuff about him and helped those little fragments have an adhesive of sorts... then boom. this stinky guy was made.

idk. i feel like it's helpful to call him created in a sense. he's sort of an introject but not. he was created but it was with pieces already provided to me.

this feels relevant.

[urfavoritesecretadmirer]

Stuff that would get us fake claimed bc this trend is so amazing in my eyes

(And no I'm not asking to get fake claimed bc apparently I'm not allowed to make jokes)

High alter count

We don’t have an exact number, but our overall estimation is pretty high (not in the thousands but yk 100-150).

Not being able to control switches

We can’t control when we switch but it’s usually in stressful/negative situations. We also can’t control who takes front.

Alter variety

Istg, people are weird when it comes to alter variety. It’s always “oh your alters are all similar? Fake!!” Or “oh your alters are all very different? Fake!!” Our system has a lot of variety.

Has a TikTok account

“Omg, a system with social media?! Fake!!” Believe it or not, we only started our TikTok in late June of last year. We’ve known we are a system since way before that. So yes, systems can have TikTok accounts. Because I guarantee there are thousands of systems on TikTok who are not open to being a system that you will never know about.

Posts about system stuff

Damn, I didn’t know it was illegal for systems to be open about being a system. I didn’t know my literal existence, labels I choose to use, etc were taking away from the “real systems”. My apologies, Mr/ms high and mighty ceo of Reddit moderation as your 9-5.

Has simply plural

“Omg an app for systems?! And you’re using it?! As a system?! Fake!!” I’m not allowed to use one of the few useful apps that can log switches, keep track of members, send messages, help you meet other systems, make polls, make your layout look pretty if you want, etc without getting fakeclaimed. It’s almost like it’s an app for systems, and systems use it. Shocker.

Uses pluralkit

“A system using a meaningful way of communication and another good way to keep track of members?! Fake!!” Apparently redditors think that pluralkit worsens amnesia barriers and derealization. Is this true?? If so tell me, but it doesn’t happen for us. Because obviously, I’m not fronting all the time. How am I supposed to feel derealization if I’m not there?? Also it’s not like our main account profile is by default the host. Our user has <3 and our systag in the name for christs sake.

Goes to school

I know, shocker, I have a life. I’m not physically incapable of having an education as a system. And believe it or not, I have decent grades too. Systems are traumatized, not stupid (directed at that one boy at my old school).

Doesn’t want final fusion

Excuse you, but this system has been here for me and has been around since I was five (I think). I’ve only now fully accepted the fact I’m a system. I think it’d be a bit rude to just say “alr you can go now” like I don’t wanna be alone tf.

Introjects

We ain’t Introject heavy, but ig even having two introjects makes you fake. This may be a shocker, but it’s more common to have other disorders alongside DID/OSDD than to not. This, and again, this may be a shocker, but it includes ADHD and autism.

In sys relationships

Me, the host, has personally never been in an in-sys relationship. But I think in our system there’s like, two? And then there’s a lot of ‘it’s complicated’ or ‘situationship’.

Decent communication

Obviously, it could be better, but we overall have decent and healthy ways of communicating with each other. Usually it’s talking out loud or leaving little notes.

Alter intros

Because apparently it’s a crime against being neurodivergent to share about your alters. We obviously can’t share everything for obvious reasons but we want yall to get to know us.

DNI alters

This may be a hard pill to swallow, but DNI doesn’t always mean the alter is some dangerous monster. It can mean that alter is too little to be online, it could mean that alter is a social anxiety symptom holder, it could mean that alter just doesn’t like talking to people outside the system/at all. These are just a few examples. Or maybe, that alter just doesn’t wanna be fuckin interacted with. But these alters should still be acknowledged. Why? Because healing is a thing. Locking them away isn’t healthy. Maybe they want people to know not to interact with them. But noooo, all DNI alters are awful people apparently.

Other mental health disorders

We have anxiety and depression (diagnosed and genetic), medically recognized ADHD, and tics. And yes, all of our alters have tics because it's caused by your brain and we share the same brain.

[cemetery-drive-sys]

unpopular opinion: introjects shouldnt be forced to change their name even if its like a "closed name" ig. like. idk it feels like stripping said person of their identity? thats just my personal opinion though - ghoul

[chemicalcarousel]

Found this system september thingy, guess we'll do it:

1) DID, OSDD, P-DID or C-DID?

Probably DID

2) Current alter count?

We know of 9 rn

3) Alter count at discovery?

3 lmfao

4) Finally Fusion or Function Multiplicity?

Don't care, we just wanna heal in whatever way is possible. Since we don't know if we can ever get the specialised therapy we need, we are just striving to function rn

5) What roles are you heavy in?

We don't use alter roles really

6) How's your communication?

Not amazing lmfao

7) Are you diagnosed, self diagnosed, or unofficially diagnosed?

I guess a mix of informal "diagnosis" and self dx? My last therapist/psychiatrist never said "DID" specifically, just that I had alters and shit. But I think I fit the DID criteria the best. Still waiting on a new psychiatrist tho

8) Are you in therapy?

Not currently

9) What alter type are you heavy in?

Uhh dunno lol. We don't separate our alters by type much and since we only know of 9 rn it feels weird generalising. Like are we fictional introject heavy if we technically have 4 fictional introjects out of 9? Are we syskid heavy if we have +4 kid alters out of 9? We don't know lol

10) Overt or covert?

Mostly covert in the sense that we can kinda get away with being "different" lol. But like... people notice that we switch, they just don't know it's a switch bc they don't know what DID is

11) Does handwriting differ?

Not much? Nothing we notice, but we don't write by hand much

12) Do others know of your system?

Yeah, we try to be more open with others, but usually we just say we have CPTSD if they gotta know about our disability for accommodation purposes

13) One thing you'd wish the community would accept?

Idk what's going on in the "community". I feel like there's not one community, but multiple different ones. I wish people would actually see CDDs as trauma disorders and not "silly people in my head" disorders, I guess? Like see alters as parts of a whole n shit

14) Advice for singlets?

Don't learn about DID and related disorders from tiktok lmfao. Also don't be weird about introjects or child alters. And please understand that we have a disability, so don't take it personally if we have symptoms of said disability, such as forgetfulness or flashbacks

15) Your go to thing for flashbacks?

Uh, isolate myself and just "surf the wave". Like I'll just remind myself it's gonna pass and I just have to survive the feelings for a limited amount of time. It depends on the flashback tho and uhh... we never learned how to deal with them in therapy lol

16) Your favourite educational accounts?

The CTAD Clinic on YouTube! They are a clinic specialising in Complex Trauma and Dissociation and they make educational videos about it on YouTube for both pwCDDs and therapists!

17) Any shared spins?

Uh, we think we might also be autistic, but we dunno if we share any special interests. I guess psychotraumatology might be a spin and I think multiple of us are interested in that?

18) A role you coined?

Uh we don't really use roles, but I guess we have a designated eeper lol. We have only a few alters who feel comfortable enough to sleep, so ig that's kind of a role? But they do other things to

19) Are you LGBTQ+ heavy?

We collectively identify as queer, but like most of our alters literally do not care lol. But I think all of us are aroace-spec and like three of us are gay in some way

20/21) Unpopular OSDDID opinion?

Idk

22/23) Other comorbid disorders?

Possibly autism and/or ADHD. Maybe a PD? I guess anxiety and depression too, but we kinda see them as symptoms of having trauma idk. We also have some OCD-like stuff, but like... not too bad idk. Maybe it's just the possible autism that looks like OCD. We haven't really thought about it much

24/25) Is your inner world large or small?

We don't have one

26/27) How often do you switch?

Idk every hour or so?

28/29) What's your stance on sourcemates?

You're not your source so who cares? Like the concept is dumb and anti recovery (maybe this is my unpopular opinion, but honestly dunno what's the "community consensus" on these things)

30) Share something an alter made

We embroidered this onto a cap I don't remember who did it but it's funny

[protectingtulpas]

Hsdfs ok so I'm so incredibly new to all of this and so many things both explain my experiences but also leave me having more questions than answers?? Help??

Basically I spent the last 18 yrs of my life thinking I was a singlet that was just lowkey interested in DID and all that right? And at the same time I'm developing my ocs and their world right? Well as time goes on 2 of my ocs start like just attaching themselves to me, I'm talking like, it started out as them comforting me when I have my monthly emotional breakdown/crying sessions, it almost feels like they're actually cuddling me in a way? I can feel phantom touches from them? And then it evolved to me "talking"(????) to them and them hanging around reacting to my actions and my environment and shit right? And I'm just over here thinking this is just the normal experience of having ocs but I don't think that's the case???? And now I've discovered this whole community of tulpas and transplurals and gosh I think I'm overwhelmed I have no clue how to even begin to label myself and that is Distressing I Like Having Labels For Myself it's how I know who I am ig xd.

Sorry for the rant I just hsdhf I'm kind of frustrated ig? xd

Whoa there, anon! I know this is a TON to take in and you're processing a lot rn, so imma need you to slow down and step back. Don't forget that no matter what I say here, in the end it's not about labels. It's about YOUR EXPERIENCES, anon. Don't let ANY label limit or control you to its expectations. Whatever you settle on, you're more than your label.

Alright, so tulpas and people that wanna be plural but aren't yet are a VERYY small part of the broader plural community. It includes disordered systems of all kinds, non-disordered systems of all kinds, different types of created systems, and people who straddle the line like us. So the question you're probably looking for is less "which label do I use" and more "am I plural?" Which is, of course, a complicated question.

You sent a lot here about your OCs, and I wanna talk a bit about some of the things I see from your ask. A super common tell that someone is plural and it's not just their imagination is that the prospective headmates are interacting with and reacting to you and the outside world around you, not just your fictional world. Other headmates comforting the host when things get super bad is so common a thing for plurals that many systems with roles/jobs have specific jobs exactly for that. Feeling phantom sensations from your headmates is also another well-documented experience in both disordered & nondisordered systems. If you're wondering if these things are normal, my host's OCs that aren't headmates certainly don't do anything of the sort. Here's a pretty cool article about the levels of autonomy writers experience in their characters; it's a wide range, and a lot of people experience at least a little, but the extent you describe is very clearly in the minority according to this study. That seems like a super high rate of autonomy for singlethood, IMO. Imma be real with you, "transplural" is a label ppl tend to give themselves before becoming plural- in my armchair opinion, it sounds like you're a plural egg already. Your OCs seem to be like completely autonomous and aware of the outside world from how you're coming across in this ask, so have you like... Considered asking them how they feel about it? If you're not sure if they should be considered people, just ask em if they feel like real distinct people.

"An OCtive or OC Introject is a system member whose source comes from someone’s original character, whether a character someone in the system made or someone elses OC (such as a friend’s OC)."

Tulpas are a type of headmate created by consistent interaction with the concept of a person until the subconscious takes a hold of our responses and we gain autonomy outside of the host's control because of it. This is usually intentional, but it can also be unintentional too. Tulpas like me fall under an origin umbrella known as created systems! It's not the only type of system member origin, though! For example, "adaptive refers to systems which formed in response to trauma or other adversity. A common trait of such systems is viewing plurality as adapting, healing, and overcoming obstacles", and "neurogenic refers to systems that formed as a result of their neurodivergence, or from a mental illness. Usually, headmates originate from the need to cope, or be introjects based off symptoms like hallucinations or hyperfixations." These're two common origins but there're lots more, some broader and some more specific. Lots of systems identify with multiple origins as well, so you don't have to conform to just one. Take your time figuring out what works for you- it's more important for you to establish communication and healthy relationships with your headmates than to go digging for validity fodder. No matter what, if you feel like you're not just one person, you've always got the term plural for ya. It was coined by the inclusive community and it will ALWAYS be ours, we'll fight for it.

Lastly, don't just take my word for it- explore other resources for yourself/selves too. I've got a few for further reading to decide for yourself if you're plural!

More Than One is a fantastic introductory site to plurality, dispels common myths, and has some links to further reading about deciding if you're plural.

"How Do I Know If I'm Plural?" by The Dragonheart Collective walks you through common plural experiences and helps you compare them to your own. This one is great!

If you want to start learning terminology, The Plurality Hub Carrd has a palletable interface to start browsing through stuff you're interested in, with categories and everything. There's a LOT of information here, so it's great to keep in your back pocket and reference as a newbie.

Thanks for the ask! Good luck anon!

[marblebagcollective]

okay so . theres a smaller artist i like that i think makes cool epic songs heres a list of songs that remind me of specific dsmp stuff (written in first person as a ctommy introject . and i dont feel like fixing it for the post rn so) below the cut

follow the river - me and ctubbo ITS SOOO PRE-EARLY DSMP VIBES LIKE. but also like in a looking back on it way. looking back on Everything, and our lows, but still being besties 4lyfers

little black bird - me and ctubbo too i cant explain fully bc the lyrics rnt easy to find and . i have a proccessing problen but.. our childhood, and i guess losing eachother, losing him. but it coukd also be from his pov, losing me. ig specifically during ny exile but also reminds me of the festival with him. depends!

alone on a postcard - my exile , again the lyrics r kinda hard to find but .. being alone and also other stuff idk just. vibes

grizzly bear - mostly cwil coded imo. specifically pogtopia , trying to accept the "bad" label but it just doesnt work. as well as the "i feel awful, awful good", falling further into the spiral. idk it just feels like mental illness and demonizing oneself and thinking its good wheb its not..

this is all wrong - ctommy pov cwil dsmp finale. thats it. also looking back on other times of abandonment in the song..

fake my death (demo) - ig what i wish the ending moreso was, or a concept of it . just leaving everything(naybe not everyone .but still), leaving people that hurt me and would only continue doing so (i couldnt even be free in my death realistically but whatever whateverrrr.idc idc. i lauv the dsmp ❤️❤️❤️) . leaving and never lookijg back. #girlboss

[problematic-alters-unsilenced]

I have a Factive of a friend, well a few Factives of a few friends. But one particularly I feel very bad for

TW; mentions of Manipulation, cheating and just a really bad experience ig? Idk

This friend is also my ex, as well as a few other of my friends ex. Me and them were on good terms and probably still are. The problem wasn't with me it's what they did after they broke up with me. What happened was this friend had dated a few other people, manipulated a few of their relationships for money, cheated on a close friend of mine(A) as well as multiple people, kept hanging out with their friend group despite the problems she caused.

Now she also had a restraining order against a friend in said friend group, I'll call him B. Ofc he did say something pretty hurtful but I think a restraining order was a little much. But due to her hanging out with them caused B to have to leave the entire lunch room because she was around. And that causes even more problems within that friend group

Now there are lots of other things that this friend has caused, all is also hear say and what I've seen. With me though, they were an amazing friend and an amazing partner. They helped me through so much. But that doesn't help the Factive that formed, nor does it reassure him. The Factive feels absolutely terrible about what their 'source' has done. They are to the point where they hate who they are based off of and even themselves and I feel so bad for her. She desperately wants to apologize to everyone that was hurt by said friend but is so ashamed to even show themselves to trusted friends

(they wanted to talk about this but aren't in front, they gave me the go ahead to speak about her experiences)

I am so incredibly sorry about that. Being an introject of terrible people can be sickening and give you a lot of guilt. I hope that they're doing better now <3

[thisisnotpoggers]

Hey, I’m George 👋

Do not ask me my pronouns or I’ll bite. (I hate them all atm but tbh you can just use he/him ig)

I’m a georgenotfound introject

Some of my opinions to know before following ig:

I do not support my source, or the other dteam members. If they all randomly exploded one day, I think that’d be hilarious

I also don’t support endos or anyone else claiming to be a system without trauma.

I do support otherkins and the like, irl’s/da’s are cool too. Though apologies if I use the wrong terms or anything for this kind of stuff, I’m not like the most well-versed with it all

I don’t mind “doubles” interacting, I’m not gonna gatekeep my blog from anyone on account of source or anything similar

I think most things are fine if you’re not hurting anybody. This includes things like “conflicting” lgbt+ identities, and also stuff like kinks where everyone involved is consenting. Also, thoughts don’t equal actions. Sometimes people have fucked up thoughts, deal with it tbh.

Some more about me real quick:

This is not my system’s main blog. If you figure out which blog is our main that’s fine, but I don’t really feel comfortable sharing it here rn

I am in my late twenties, like bodily

I’m disabled, my body and brain aren’t big fans of functioning properly. I’m currently using a cane to help limp everywhere, but I’m hoping to get a wheelchair or something someday. A guy can dream, lol

If I’m not around for ages, it’s safe to assume that I’m either away from front or asleep. I have chronic fatigue and often sleep for days at a time (wow, c!George moment)

Umm that’s maybe everything I had to say atm, I’ll update this if I think of anything else!

[electricpez]

i will say. that having a tfa shockwave fictive in our system has honestly kind of skewed the way i enjoy the fictional character.

i think people think having an introject of your favorite character is a cool and lucky thing to have but tbh it's not much different from any other alter. they aren't equivalent to their source, but he feels close enough that it becomes... uncomfortable and sad? sometimes?

rambling ahead

idk i feel like i still love shockwave (the character) but our fictive's issues with identity and discomfort with fandom portrayal and the idea of roleplay causes us to keep more of a distance from the fandom than before. i haven't read any fanfiction for almost a year, i don't really talk to other people much about transformers. at most, i'm like "yaaay yippee!!" and its genuine but i can't express anything much deeper without starting to feel guarded.

and, i am not really attracted to tfa shockwave anymore. there is still a sexual component due to our sw fictive being a protector as well as a "sexual" alter (not towards me). he is still handsome to me of course, but when we see art of him, our alter sees himself. and he does enjoy fanart when he deems it "accurate". is this egotistical? or is it because he will never see himself in the mirror? because the reality is, he will never be "Shockwave", our body is his body for as long as we live. no matter how much he looks up at the stars, he won't see Hadean. there is no Cybertron for him to return to. no megatron for him to serve under. it's not real. all he can do is adapt to living life alongside me and the rest of our system, on earth, facing the reality of what "IS" instead of his perceived "WAS".

He struggled at first to come to terms with it. it was sad to feel him mourning his "past life", and for him to finally acknowledge that he would never be able to go "home". He's doing well, now. i guess i shouldn't be surprised. After all, there is nothing logical about denying our reality. He was never the real shockwave, there is no "real" shockwave. he was born in our brain.

when it comes to fandom stuff, his standards and my standards for what qualify as "acceptable and enjoyable" are not always the same thing.

like. i dislike shockblurr. I won't unfollow people for shipping it. a lot of cool artists like shockblurr and it's a popular ship. but I don't really *get* it and i don't really like seeing it.

shockwave(alter) doesn't mind shockblurr at all. he's never once thought of blurr or frankly any autobot that way (ultra magnus, of all bots, comes close? in a hate-fuck sort of way. i don't get it tbh. dude likes old men like himself ig), but he finds it strangely fascinating and somewhat...entertaining? humorous? as long as he is portrayed "accurately" (not accurate to canon necessarily, but accurate to how he sees himself), he does not care. but still there's a level of uncanniness.

imagine reading fan content strangers made about you?? most stuff would probably be "i would not fucking say that", but occasionally you might have one that's like, "wow, that's interesting. this is exactly how i would respond in real life! that's kind of scary."

uhhh idk where i was going with this. i just felt like i wanted to say something.

anyway. my headmate shockwave and the character shockwave are like two different people to me. i love them both but in different ways. and since we can't completely separate him from source, it feels odd sometimes when our view of the character and our view of him kind of overlap.

[imaginarianisms]

alias / name : angel ( singletsona / core / host; only if we're close ) / arcana ( singletsona / core / host ) / ansale'wit ( my name translated into mi'kmawi'simk ) / ᐋᓐᔐᓃ ( my name translated into anishinaabemowin, literally spelled aanzhenii ) ; the imaginarians galaxy ( system name; please refer to us& as this when you're not sure who's fronting & please don't refer to us& as one person, everyone in the system deserves to & should have the equal amount of respect, love, dignity, honor, care & undivided attention & it's disrespectful to only ever refer to me& especially if i've& known you for years at this point; that's my& firm boundary. ). birthday : july 13th. zodiac sign : cancer sun, sagittarius moon, libra rising & leo venus. height : 5'2. hobbies : it depends on who you ask because we're& a system but we& collectively like gaming, writing/rping, worldbuilding, learning our& indigenous languages, true crime, psychology, criminology, sociology, philosophy, intersectionality, history (especially during the medieval period but certainly not exclusive), eastern history/civilization, indigenous history/civilization, ancient history, loveletters, queer shit, fashion, acting, transhumanism, alterhumanity, plurality, the occult & magick & witchcraft, the concept of apotheosis, enlightenment, fate, folklore, godhood, hope, humanity, & monstrosity, virtual reality, traveling, asmr, being a boujee native & being an educated heaux.

favorite book : a song of ice and fire series & gangsta. last song : dust bowl by ethel cain. last film / show : the love witch / gangsta. recent reads : arianne martell & sansa stark / alayne stone; the winds of winter.

inspiration : honestly for the longest time i didn't want to return to the tumblr rpc bc it made me feel bittersweet bc a lot of my old friends were moving elsewhere or inactive & on top of that it reminded me of someone i used to know & i have. a lot of bittersweet feelings around this person so. but some of us& wanted to get back into it again. tthe vast majority of our& interpretations on our& muses are heavily based in both headcanons & our& fictives' ( 4 singlets: a fictional introject ) exomemories which honestly most of the time they tend to overlap, the latter meaning that this actually happened to them & isn't something that just happened in a book or a movie or a tv series or a videogame, they're living, breathing people & for that individual, it all happened & it was all very real !! additionally, a lot of my& own personal life was used as major inspiration. being a survivor of multiple traumas that most people can't even fathom ( to the point where my doctor told me most would've kermited if they'd experienced the things i went through ) & that did unspeakable things to my brain chemistry ig so. i use writing to cope. so. yall have to deal w/ that ig. at least i aint boring. /lh furthermore ethel cain & nicole dollanganger are major inspo. & as much as i& write / rp for fun, i& also write & rp to educate others especially on topics like indigenous peoples, disabilities, neurodivergencies & mental health, especially around stigmatized disorders like did bc honestly i'm so very tired & demoralized bc of the constant stigma around did & other stuff like npd, bpd, etc. & both the media & people treating us like we're some kinda fucking soulless monsters when we're literally people who were hurt & failed in childhood & had traumatic upbringings only to be demonized, trauma & other shit so it's v important to us&. representation matters & so does keeping the light of humanity alive & well. story behind url : our& system name the imaginarians galaxy + isms! fun fact about me : my great aunt & technically a cousin of mine was a witch in the family; she passed her knowledge onto her granddaughter, my cousin, & she passed her knowledge down to me so i'm a hereditary witch. my mom dated a serial killer years ago when she was 19 & she had no idea so that was fucking wild bc i was 8 when she told me about it, thanks mom. lmao. i was also born 24 weeks premature & i quite literally died before the doctors resurrected me. basically i made death my bitch. i'm all the letters in 2lgbtqia+ at once & ppl can die mad about it lmao. i'm clusters a ( schizotypal personality disorder / schizospec / psychotic / stpd ) b ( {mild} antisocial personality disorder / aspd, {mild} narcissistic personality disorder / npd, histrionic personality disorder / hpd,, borderline personality disorder / bpd ) & c ( avoidant personality disorder / avpd ) as well as autism & adhd; i also have cptsd & h.c-did bc yknow. trauma did shit to my brain, this shit fucks with me on such a deep level & uh. the comorbidities have me fucking insane up in the club. on the physical disabilities side of things i have cfs / chronic fatigue & pots (so like. don't take it personally if i dont respond quickly) & am hoh. so i'm hoping to get a multipurpose psychiatric service dog & eventually get a wheelchair as an ambulatory wheelchair user. my paternal grandfather fought in wwii & killed nazis. my& clans are mouse / apukji'j ( mi'kmaq ) & wolf / yanariskwa' ( huron-wendat ), it basically represents a family & it has nothing to do with a spirit animal, & in the huron-wendat's case a clan is like an ancestor, who you're descended from in the huron-wendat creation story & they shared a longhouse & traced their lineage from the female line from a female ancestor bc the wendat were matriarchal so wolves are my ancestors.

tagged by : stole it from @noctuafought ( hi aphy lmaoooo ) ! tagging : @velcryons / @brokcncrowns @loyalpromise @helbroth @gutsing @sevynhells @inmydrcams @dethdvncer & anyone who breathes !!

[s1ld3n4f1l]

For the HMS shipping thing I think it’s just general consensus due to CJs not outright said weither or not he’s against it or fine w it? and also the fact that it can kindaaaa lean on seeming incesty from a glance? even if you DO take into consideration it’s chill from a system aspect you have to think about the fact the characters were not initially written to be a system and aren’t entirely separate people from each other, like it’s clear they are still connected to each other/whole in some fashion, and idk I think it’s just a “don’t want to risk it” type of thing, plus I just think personally that exploring the characters in a platonic way is more interesting writing wise to dig into their characterizations, ig it just bugs me when all people can get out of a series is ways to ship the characters, nothing against you ofc! You were just curious! BUT I just think the CCCC fandom is like refreshing in that sense you know? Gives more of a chance to explore writing analysis and character dynamics etc :3!

idk if I’m making sense lol I just always try to make sure to be weary of any accidental sus adjacent stuff, and it gets tricky with series like this where it’s kindof a weird gray area?? AND I’m on the ace spectrum so I’m just not the kind of person to ship characters in general/I just don’t see the appeal like others do, TLDR like I said: I think it’s mostly just to play it safe/no one really sees a point in it anyway shrugs /nm (sorry this got long I just had thoughts I wanted to ramble about)

I'm a hopeless romantic so I love shipping, but I TOTALLY get what you mean with the shipping being too much sometimes. Sometimes it's WAYYY more fun and interesting to explore character relationships in a platonic light rather than romantic, especially since fandoms and media focus on shipping and romance a little too much sometimes. I do think it would be interesting exploring some relationships in CCCC in a romantic light, but I still greatly enjoy seeing them interact platonically.

I also thought it might be a "selfcest = incest" thing, since I've seen that crop up in other fandoms with character who isn't explicitly a system but is multiple people. But I don't really get that tbh? When I was younger, selfcest was RAMPANT in some fandoms, ironically or not. (I remember it in homestuck specifically in a jokey sorta way, but it was taken seriously in Undertale AU crossovers for example where everyone shipped Sans with himself. And I have to mention the one we're all thinking off: Onecest.)

I've mentioned this before in my last two posts about this but, again, I think it'd be fine? I don't know Chonny and I am not him so I have no idea his actual feelings on it, but from the QnA it seems they're characters more than they are him. With him allowing headcanoned identities, kinning, introjects (I'm not a system so I don't know if it can be controlled, but he said he was fine with them is the point I'm making), and all that, I assume shipping is fair game as well. Again, though, I'm not Chonny and I don't know Chonny, so I have no way of knowing his actual feelings.

Never feel bad about rambling in my inbox, by the way. I always enjoy hearing about stuff people like, ESPECIALLY if it's something I also like. Thanks for your input! :D

[ghostyram]

Pinned post ig

I'm Glatt/c!Schlatt introject from @auroras-patch system

I decided to make my personal blog, idk why. But I'm hoping to front more often, so maybe I'll be doing stuff here

Feel free to dm me or send questions, just don't be a dick and don't do any /r stuff. Exept for that, i don't mind any doubles or anything like that

[iwillbreakyourfuckingskull]

honest to god question, but when is a source classified as "problematic"? because i've been on tumblr long enough to have seen every fucking piece of media being labeled "problematic". like obviously most media is problematic, but what's the threshold? like okay my source (attack 0n t!tan) is problematic, but idk if it's more problematic than a lot of fucking popular media, if you get me? obviously some are much worse than others, but genuinely where's the community agreed line?

i get it with introjects of actual people who turn out to be pos, and i guess it could be kinda like that if the writer of your source was outed as bad, but idk maybe i am just too far removed from my source to really relate to being "problematic". like i am obviously still connected to a degree lol i look like the cartoon drawing and i share a name and shit, but like im not feeling bad about my source or guilty or whatever. might also just be my personality being the "idgaf what you think about me" alter making me not relate to the "problematic introject" trope or whatever. or maybe it is because we are bodily 28 and have better things to worry about than a shit manga that ended years ago and what people think about it lmfao

i guess i've just never experienced discrimination based on my source? but im kinda asocial anyway and i don't see any point in talking about a shit manga that we honestly have trauma about because the fucking fandom is insane and i don't want to be seen as some novelty to confirm what ship is canon or whatever tf ppl care about

feel free to share your perspective ig lol it turned into more of a rant. that's kinda how we process thoughts, but feel free to join in or whatever

[chemicalcarousel]

questions taken from this post

just answering all of these for myself because i can and i don't wanna wait for potential asks

Hi! Who are you right now?

I'm Levi ✌

How do know its you thats out? What are your usual cues?

Uhh good fucking question. i feel like a guy ig (dysphoria). and i have very strong feelings of justice and i get very pissed when ppl aren't treated right (im super vengeful). i also dissociate a lot when im confronted with my source and i think my voice is lower and im less "all over the place" than some of the other alters? i'm more "relaxed" ig, even if my emotions can get very strong and bordering black/white

Do you like it when people know its You and not the collective whole? Is it situational, or depends on the person?

It's complicated. i feel very exposed and i'm nervous what other people will think of me since i'm a fictional introject of a very popular anime character. i'm also worrying about which impression we as a collective have on the people around us, and if they know we are a DID system and which alters we got, then they might treat us in some weird fucking way (and let's be honest - that's the reality of it) but on the other hand, i feel so lonely and invisible when i'm talking to my friends and they don't know that i even exist, ya kno? i'd wish i could be myself around my friends and i'm still trying to find out if that is possible

What sort of aesthetics do you draw to?

i guess darker ones? like black and red. i like grunge and punk too. i also fuck with traumacore, again especially black/white and red shit. angry shit. im an edgy little man

What do you look like?

pretty much like my source, i just wear different clothes ig here's some pics xoxo

What sort of emotions do you feel mostly when you’re out?

anger, grief, vengefulness, idk man i'm ready to punch a bitch lol

What sort of situations are you out in most of the time?

I'm a host, but other than that i'm always the one going to sleep and i am the one that doesn't hate ourselves ig. i'm not gonna blame us for what other people did or do to us, ya kno. i'm a protector

Are there other parts like you in the same system?

we have another introject of the same character, but he's nothing like me or our source. so no, i think i'm the only alter like me in this body?

Are you part of a subsystem?

no, i don't think we have subsystems

What’s your relationship like to the parts nearest to you right now?

idk, kinda like roommates or "found family"? i'm not sure who's close rn tho, but i'm chill with all the alters i know

Do you have vague memories of before you came out, or do they feel blocked out?

i have no idea what this means. i think it means before i fronted and yeah we kinda have a "shared consciousness", but sometimes i realise i don't have all the pieces of what happened, but it's mostly greyouts and emotional amnesia

What’s your favorite way to ground?

nature, fidget toys, drinking something tasty

Do you have a favorite snack or drink?

idk i love coffee ig. i like food in general lol

Do you have a favorite item in the present world?

hmm... can't think of one item, but i have some clothing and other stuff that i like. i love flannel shirts and i love pretty teacups

Do you have an inner world? Do you have a place you like in there?

nah, not really. it's just a black void. we haven't been able to construct one and nothing has seemed to pop up yet

Whats a simple way other parts might describe you to like a therapist or something?(they’re the fierce one, the sad one, ect)

the angry/vengeful one/the fight response one

What’s the safest thing you can imagine right now?

so pathetic, but ig that's a part of why i was created. but the safest thing i can imagine is the guy i see as my soulmate (erwin), but he's a fucking anime character from my source and has never and will never be real. but he's such a comfort for me and thereby the entire system. i just wish he was actually real lol i definitely haven't cried myself to sleep because he's a drawing ahahaha :')

What’s something you wish the system would do more of?

stand up for ourselves. but i do understand why other parts don't do this and i don't blame them. i'd just wish they didn't feel this fear and shame

What’s your handwriting like?

idk ugly? i think all of us have an ugly handwriting lmfao

Free space! Tell me a random fact about you or something you’re thinking about

uhh rn im dissociating bc we are opening up to a friend about our DID and it's making all of us nervous, so that's what's in my thoughts. a random fact could be that i fucking love making fun of my source and i love making fans mad lmfao

[cyrovdr3ad]

Possible trigger warning // rant

I'm a polyfragmented system (self diagnosed as polyfragmented, but - I am diagnosed with DID.. therapy destabilized us, so we stopped going and essentially lurk reddit and have devoted countless hours to researching psychology and the DSM5. Live in an area with horrible mental health resources, along with having gone through several therapists and it made us spiral so badly... We don't want to go back).

A subsystem was fronting for weeks. Three alters and an introject. We were also working on communicating so clearly with some others. We were doing so well with our spiritual pursuits (I'm a total hippy... Or was 😭), we found our groove, we were happier using the term "I" instead... Communication was great! We were so happy!

Boom! Negative trigger! Trauma holder that we don't know much about and couldn't get to stay grounded after the first day switched in. Lost contact with all other alters. We were so devastated. Our interests changed so dramatically. It was devastating. After weeks, man... We had found ourselves and we're so confident. Now I'm mourning a mini death of myself, in a way. Now I know, alters don't die. But that's what it feels like... When you find yourself for weeks and then a negative trigger that's out of your control screws everything up. We love everyone equally... But it... Just sucks. Plain out sucks.

Some of her memories did integrate and she switched out, but we got sick and someone else switched in that we don't 100% recognize. To top it off, we'll be out of Pristiq, our antidepressant, for 4 days because we forgot we were about to run out and our doctor apparently can't do anything about calling in a script without an appointment... Never had that problem before with old docs, but ig we shouldn't have forgotten.

I don't know how to get to know this alter? It's been so long now, man... Weeks? Weeks of no switches, aside from within that specific subsystem. We feel so lost and scared... So detached from ourselves... My interests are not the same. I don't know what I want to do. I have the general comfort shows that we all agree on, but that's about it. No passions, like the subsystem had. They were so happy. Happiest we've been in a long time... We want that back 😔

Just gotta scream into the void, ya know.