#just an introject in my feels ig
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I've never tried talking to someone from the same source as me (introject) and i'm considering it only for the experience of someone being able to mourn with me. It feels like I've lost the life I should have had.
#idk who i am#just an introject in my feels ig#did system#traumagenic system#actually did#actually dissociative#did#did osdd#did stuff#dissociation#dissociative identity disorder#dissociative system#endos do not interact#endos dni#anti endo#introject#introjects#factive#fictive#source memories#source#sourcemate call#looking for sourcemates#sourcemates interact
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Stuff that would get us fake claimed bc this trend is so amazing in my eyes
(And no I'm not asking to get fake claimed bc apparently I'm not allowed to make jokes)
High alter count
We don’t have an exact number, but our overall estimation is pretty high (not in the thousands but yk 100-150).
Not being able to control switches
We can’t control when we switch but it’s usually in stressful/negative situations. We also can’t control who takes front.
Alter variety
Istg, people are weird when it comes to alter variety. It’s always “oh your alters are all similar? Fake!!” Or “oh your alters are all very different? Fake!!” Our system has a lot of variety.
Has a TikTok account
“Omg, a system with social media?! Fake!!” Believe it or not, we only started our TikTok in late June of last year. We’ve known we are a system since way before that. So yes, systems can have TikTok accounts. Because I guarantee there are thousands of systems on TikTok who are not open to being a system that you will never know about.
Posts about system stuff
Damn, I didn’t know it was illegal for systems to be open about being a system. I didn’t know my literal existence, labels I choose to use, etc were taking away from the “real systems”. My apologies, Mr/ms high and mighty ceo of Reddit moderation as your 9-5.
Has simply plural
“Omg an app for systems?! And you’re using it?! As a system?! Fake!!” I’m not allowed to use one of the few useful apps that can log switches, keep track of members, send messages, help you meet other systems, make polls, make your layout look pretty if you want, etc without getting fakeclaimed. It’s almost like it’s an app for systems, and systems use it. Shocker.
Uses pluralkit
“A system using a meaningful way of communication and another good way to keep track of members?! Fake!!” Apparently redditors think that pluralkit worsens amnesia barriers and derealization. Is this true?? If so tell me, but it doesn’t happen for us. Because obviously, I’m not fronting all the time. How am I supposed to feel derealization if I’m not there?? Also it’s not like our main account profile is by default the host. Our user has <3 and our systag in the name for christs sake.
Goes to school
I know, shocker, I have a life. I’m not physically incapable of having an education as a system. And believe it or not, I have decent grades too. Systems are traumatized, not stupid (directed at that one boy at my old school).
Doesn’t want final fusion
Excuse you, but this system has been here for me and has been around since I was five (I think). I’ve only now fully accepted the fact I’m a system. I think it’d be a bit rude to just say “alr you can go now” like I don’t wanna be alone tf.
Introjects
We ain’t Introject heavy, but ig even having two introjects makes you fake. This may be a shocker, but it’s more common to have other disorders alongside DID/OSDD than to not. This, and again, this may be a shocker, but it includes ADHD and autism.
In sys relationships
Me, the host, has personally never been in an in-sys relationship. But I think in our system there’s like, two? And then there’s a lot of ‘it’s complicated’ or ‘situationship’.
Decent communication
Obviously, it could be better, but we overall have decent and healthy ways of communicating with each other. Usually it’s talking out loud or leaving little notes.
Alter intros
Because apparently it’s a crime against being neurodivergent to share about your alters. We obviously can’t share everything for obvious reasons but we want yall to get to know us.
DNI alters
This may be a hard pill to swallow, but DNI doesn’t always mean the alter is some dangerous monster. It can mean that alter is too little to be online, it could mean that alter is a social anxiety symptom holder, it could mean that alter just doesn’t like talking to people outside the system/at all. These are just a few examples. Or maybe, that alter just doesn’t wanna be fuckin interacted with. But these alters should still be acknowledged. Why? Because healing is a thing. Locking them away isn’t healthy. Maybe they want people to know not to interact with them. But noooo, all DNI alters are awful people apparently.
Other mental health disorders
We have anxiety and depression (diagnosed and genetic), medically recognized ADHD, and tics. And yes, all of our alters have tics because it's caused by your brain and we share the same brain.
#did system#did osdd#actually osdd#osdd#osddid#actually did#osdd system#osdd 1b#actually traumagenic#traumagenic did#did memes#did stuff#did#did positivity#osdd did#did alter#osdd things#osdd1b#osdd 1#osdd community#osdd alter#osdd 1a#anti endo
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unpopular opinion: introjects shouldnt be forced to change their name even if its like a "closed name" ig. like. idk it feels like stripping said person of their identity? thats just my personal opinion though - ghoul
#endos dni#anti endo#did osdd#pdid#osddid#dissociative identity disorder#pdid system#dissociative system#system stuff#traumagenic system#syscourse#tw syscourse
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I've rlly been struggling w putting things together recently. There's this guy in my head, and I can't tell of he's an alter or just a character I've created. he's very separate from me, but still isn't fully there(?) Ig.
I guess I just wanna ask: how do you tell? Is there a way to tell? Thanks and sorry for the longer thing.
stuff like that can be tricky to try to figure out. it's something we've struggled with a lot over the course of knowing we are a system, too.
i'm unsure if there is a concrete for-sure way of determining this, so i can only share from part of our experience. anyone else is welcome to share their own ideas in the replies
this most commonly happens to us as a result of our autism, which we have found causes us to mirror ("mimic the actions [or] emotions [of something/someone]") others, often characters. many times, we mirror someone so much so that it is all we feel and, well, we misinterpret it as a new alter. so i may be speaking from/referencing this a lot as it is what is most familiar to us, but i hope that you can still apply things to your own situation!
when we feel we may have a new alter, we will begin by documenting it as soon as possible. we personally use SimplyPlural to log alters, but something as simple as a notebook can work. we mainly do this to keep track of when they appear to be fronting.
we tend to mirror/latch-onto these figures whilst actively engaging with or thinking about their source and/or things we associate with them (AKA this is for both potential introjects or brainmade alters. as brainmade alters can still have defining "traits" or "interests" just like introjects). so, these potential alters may appear to be "fronting" for days on end while we are actively indulged in these related things.
personally, we find that our truly active alters will continue to front (we are a small system with alters that front in fairly equal amounts), act freely, and perform according to their roles regardless of whether or not we are actively engaging in those things. on the other hand, if an alter seemingly vanishes as soon as our "interest" dulls, we tend to take it as an indicator that we may have misinterpreted their existence or unintentionally personified something we were mirroring and/or deeply interested in.
this process can take time; for us it usually takes 1-2 weeks at minimum, but we have been repeating this process for a long while now so it passes quickly. and we still make mistakes frequently. but things should never be rushed, and there is no time limit for figuring things out!
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Hey, welcome to my page. I won't really post much of my own, I'm mostly here to reblog and maybe meet some people.
DNIs don't work so I'm not bothering. I'm just blocking. If you're bodily under 18 I will let you know though, I prefer to only message adults.
꒰About the system꒱
We are an adult, 21 to be exact
@ghostly-cervidae is our sys blog
Blogs usually are SFW, just prefer not to have minors PM us
We are traumagenic, but accepting of all origins
✦•┈๑⋅⋯ ⋯⋅๑┈•✦
꒰About me꒱
In headspace I'm 17 (this is only mental, again bodily I'm an adult)
I'm an introject sourced from Penny from Pokemon. I use the JP name since I l preferred it
I'm a girl, but there's always the chance I could turn out nonbinary so stay tuned ig
I think eevee is neat. The world needs more eevee
Consider this intro post a sourcecall too, anyone from any pokemon show or game please feel free to reach out.
#pinned post#📱.txt#pokemon fictive#pokemon introject#pokemon sourcecall#pokemon scarlet/violet#pokemon horizons#plurality#system#traumagenic system#system stuff#plural system#plural community#pluralgang#plural gang#sourcecall#source call#pokémon fictive#pkmn fictive
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Rant /kinda vent ig
I didn't mention anything triggering, I think, so no tw
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I just found my therapy notebook again and looking back in this it's like, somewhat weird? It's only been about 2-3 months but there is just so much in here that is wrong and I feel a strange urge to light it on fire. (I will not, and I am just writing updates in it and I am gonna continue until it fills up.) But it goes from stuff like, me still recording down that I have hallucinations that like touch me (That only happened like 3 times smh) and also auditory ones, (Which were coming back at the time because I had hallucinations that would like, tap my shoulder or yell at me to wake up but no one was there and I got super confused and stressed,) But it's also like, I had 3 down as a little at the time (I thought she was like, idk a child) but 3 is not a little. I also was missing a few people and didn't include other things that would be useful for future me to know, like how Elijah MIGHT (Key word: MIGHT.) be an introject of an old irl and how 4,3, and 2 littles might also be like, me but not ME? It's like, other versions of me ig? it's hard to explain and I don't know how to explain it but it's just weird. My memory has been getting a bit worse? Like at times I'll kind of just be there and then not and then there again, and I forget things really easily. But it;s small updates like these and the fact that it's getting harder and harder for me to fall asleep as the days go by, that could actually help me in the future. Especially if I actually want to figure out what is wrong with me. But I am also glad I found the book because at times when there are weird urges going on I try to write them down and it was a bit hard to do that without something to write it down on
#It's so confusing when you think you know something about yourself then it's like no! you're wrong! here is a thing that completely changes#everything you thought was your reality! have fun trying to look at people the same after getting a strange want to hurt them!!!!#yippee/sarc
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okay so . theres a smaller artist i like that i think makes cool epic songs heres a list of songs that remind me of specific dsmp stuff (written in first person as a ctommy introject . and i dont feel like fixing it for the post rn so) below the cut
follow the river - me and ctubbo ITS SOOO PRE-EARLY DSMP VIBES LIKE. but also like in a looking back on it way. looking back on Everything, and our lows, but still being besties 4lyfers
little black bird - me and ctubbo too i cant explain fully bc the lyrics rnt easy to find and . i have a proccessing problen but.. our childhood, and i guess losing eachother, losing him. but it coukd also be from his pov, losing me. ig specifically during ny exile but also reminds me of the festival with him. depends!
alone on a postcard - my exile , again the lyrics r kinda hard to find but .. being alone and also other stuff idk just. vibes
grizzly bear - mostly cwil coded imo. specifically pogtopia , trying to accept the "bad" label but it just doesnt work. as well as the "i feel awful, awful good", falling further into the spiral. idk it just feels like mental illness and demonizing oneself and thinking its good wheb its not..
this is all wrong - ctommy pov cwil dsmp finale. thats it. also looking back on other times of abandonment in the song..
fake my death (demo) - ig what i wish the ending moreso was, or a concept of it . just leaving everything(naybe not everyone .but still), leaving people that hurt me and would only continue doing so (i couldnt even be free in my death realistically but whatever whateverrrr.idc idc. i lauv the dsmp ❤️❤️❤️) . leaving and never lookijg back. #girlboss
#c!tommy#ctommy#i dont support cc wilbur#ack usually i would put c!wilbur in the tags so ppl can have it tagged but i dont want this in those tagss#it should be fine its just mentions but .....#u should listen to these songs btw#tomz.txt
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I have a Factive of a friend, well a few Factives of a few friends. But one particularly I feel very bad for
TW; mentions of Manipulation, cheating and just a really bad experience ig? Idk
This friend is also my ex, as well as a few other of my friends ex. Me and them were on good terms and probably still are. The problem wasn't with me it's what they did after they broke up with me. What happened was this friend had dated a few other people, manipulated a few of their relationships for money, cheated on a close friend of mine(A) as well as multiple people, kept hanging out with their friend group despite the problems she caused.
Now she also had a restraining order against a friend in said friend group, I'll call him B. Ofc he did say something pretty hurtful but I think a restraining order was a little much. But due to her hanging out with them caused B to have to leave the entire lunch room because she was around. And that causes even more problems within that friend group
Now there are lots of other things that this friend has caused, all is also hear say and what I've seen. With me though, they were an amazing friend and an amazing partner. They helped me through so much. But that doesn't help the Factive that formed, nor does it reassure him. The Factive feels absolutely terrible about what their 'source' has done. They are to the point where they hate who they are based off of and even themselves and I feel so bad for her. She desperately wants to apologize to everyone that was hurt by said friend but is so ashamed to even show themselves to trusted friends
(they wanted to talk about this but aren't in front, they gave me the go ahead to speak about her experiences)
I am so incredibly sorry about that. Being an introject of terrible people can be sickening and give you a lot of guilt. I hope that they're doing better now <3
#anti endo#actually did#anti endogenic#did#did osdd#did system#dissociative identity disorder#tw manipulation
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Hsdfs ok so I'm so incredibly new to all of this and so many things both explain my experiences but also leave me having more questions than answers?? Help??
Basically I spent the last 18 yrs of my life thinking I was a singlet that was just lowkey interested in DID and all that right? And at the same time I'm developing my ocs and their world right? Well as time goes on 2 of my ocs start like just attaching themselves to me, I'm talking like, it started out as them comforting me when I have my monthly emotional breakdown/crying sessions, it almost feels like they're actually cuddling me in a way? I can feel phantom touches from them? And then it evolved to me "talking"(????) to them and them hanging around reacting to my actions and my environment and shit right? And I'm just over here thinking this is just the normal experience of having ocs but I don't think that's the case???? And now I've discovered this whole community of tulpas and transplurals and gosh I think I'm overwhelmed I have no clue how to even begin to label myself and that is Distressing I Like Having Labels For Myself it's how I know who I am ig xd.
Sorry for the rant I just hsdhf I'm kind of frustrated ig? xd
Whoa there, anon! I know this is a TON to take in and you're processing a lot rn, so imma need you to slow down and step back. Don't forget that no matter what I say here, in the end it's not about labels. It's about YOUR EXPERIENCES, anon. Don't let ANY label limit or control you to its expectations. Whatever you settle on, you're more than your label.
Alright, so tulpas and people that wanna be plural but aren't yet are a VERYY small part of the broader plural community. It includes disordered systems of all kinds, non-disordered systems of all kinds, different types of created systems, and people who straddle the line like us. So the question you're probably looking for is less "which label do I use" and more "am I plural?" Which is, of course, a complicated question.
You sent a lot here about your OCs, and I wanna talk a bit about some of the things I see from your ask. A super common tell that someone is plural and it's not just their imagination is that the prospective headmates are interacting with and reacting to you and the outside world around you, not just your fictional world. Other headmates comforting the host when things get super bad is so common a thing for plurals that many systems with roles/jobs have specific jobs exactly for that. Feeling phantom sensations from your headmates is also another well-documented experience in both disordered & nondisordered systems. If you're wondering if these things are normal, my host's OCs that aren't headmates certainly don't do anything of the sort. Here's a pretty cool article about the levels of autonomy writers experience in their characters; it's a wide range, and a lot of people experience at least a little, but the extent you describe is very clearly in the minority according to this study. That seems like a super high rate of autonomy for singlethood, IMO. Imma be real with you, "transplural" is a label ppl tend to give themselves before becoming plural- in my armchair opinion, it sounds like you're a plural egg already. Your OCs seem to be like completely autonomous and aware of the outside world from how you're coming across in this ask, so have you like... Considered asking them how they feel about it? If you're not sure if they should be considered people, just ask em if they feel like real distinct people.
"An OCtive or OC Introject is a system member whose source comes from someone’s original character, whether a character someone in the system made or someone elses OC (such as a friend’s OC)."
Tulpas are a type of headmate created by consistent interaction with the concept of a person until the subconscious takes a hold of our responses and we gain autonomy outside of the host's control because of it. This is usually intentional, but it can also be unintentional too. Tulpas like me fall under an origin umbrella known as created systems! It's not the only type of system member origin, though! For example, "adaptive refers to systems which formed in response to trauma or other adversity. A common trait of such systems is viewing plurality as adapting, healing, and overcoming obstacles", and "neurogenic refers to systems that formed as a result of their neurodivergence, or from a mental illness. Usually, headmates originate from the need to cope, or be introjects based off symptoms like hallucinations or hyperfixations." These're two common origins but there're lots more, some broader and some more specific. Lots of systems identify with multiple origins as well, so you don't have to conform to just one. Take your time figuring out what works for you- it's more important for you to establish communication and healthy relationships with your headmates than to go digging for validity fodder. No matter what, if you feel like you're not just one person, you've always got the term plural for ya. It was coined by the inclusive community and it will ALWAYS be ours, we'll fight for it.
Lastly, don't just take my word for it- explore other resources for yourself/selves too. I've got a few for further reading to decide for yourself if you're plural!
More Than One is a fantastic introductory site to plurality, dispels common myths, and has some links to further reading about deciding if you're plural.
"How Do I Know If I'm Plural?" by The Dragonheart Collective walks you through common plural experiences and helps you compare them to your own. This one is great!
If you want to start learning terminology, The Plurality Hub Carrd has a palletable interface to start browsing through stuff you're interested in, with categories and everything. There's a LOT of information here, so it's great to keep in your back pocket and reference as a newbie.
Thanks for the ask! Good luck anon!
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Hey, I’m George 👋
Do not ask me my pronouns or I’ll bite. (I hate them all atm but tbh you can just use he/him ig)
I’m a georgenotfound introject
Some of my opinions to know before following ig:
I do not support my source, or the other dteam members. If they all randomly exploded one day, I think that’d be hilarious
I also don’t support endos or anyone else claiming to be a system without trauma.
I do support otherkins and the like, irl’s/da’s are cool too. Though apologies if I use the wrong terms or anything for this kind of stuff, I’m not like the most well-versed with it all
I don’t mind “doubles” interacting, I’m not gonna gatekeep my blog from anyone on account of source or anything similar
I think most things are fine if you’re not hurting anybody. This includes things like “conflicting” lgbt+ identities, and also stuff like kinks where everyone involved is consenting. Also, thoughts don’t equal actions. Sometimes people have fucked up thoughts, deal with it tbh.
Some more about me real quick:
This is not my system’s main blog. If you figure out which blog is our main that’s fine, but I don’t really feel comfortable sharing it here rn
I am in my late twenties, like bodily
I’m disabled, my body and brain aren’t big fans of functioning properly. I’m currently using a cane to help limp everywhere, but I’m hoping to get a wheelchair or something someday. A guy can dream, lol
If I’m not around for ages, it’s safe to assume that I’m either away from front or asleep. I have chronic fatigue and often sleep for days at a time (wow, c!George moment)
Umm that’s maybe everything I had to say atm, I’ll update this if I think of anything else!
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i will say. that having a tfa shockwave fictive in our system has honestly kind of skewed the way i enjoy the fictional character.
i think people think having an introject of your favorite character is a cool and lucky thing to have but tbh it's not much different from any other alter. they aren't equivalent to their source, but he feels close enough that it becomes... uncomfortable and sad? sometimes?
rambling ahead
idk i feel like i still love shockwave (the character) but our fictive's issues with identity and discomfort with fandom portrayal and the idea of roleplay causes us to keep more of a distance from the fandom than before. i haven't read any fanfiction for almost a year, i don't really talk to other people much about transformers. at most, i'm like "yaaay yippee!!" and its genuine but i can't express anything much deeper without starting to feel guarded.
and, i am not really attracted to tfa shockwave anymore. there is still a sexual component due to our sw fictive being a protector as well as a "sexual" alter (not towards me). he is still handsome to me of course, but when we see art of him, our alter sees himself. and he does enjoy fanart when he deems it "accurate". is this egotistical? or is it because he will never see himself in the mirror? because the reality is, he will never be "Shockwave", our body is his body for as long as we live. no matter how much he looks up at the stars, he won't see Hadean. there is no Cybertron for him to return to. no megatron for him to serve under. it's not real. all he can do is adapt to living life alongside me and the rest of our system, on earth, facing the reality of what "IS" instead of his perceived "WAS".
He struggled at first to come to terms with it. it was sad to feel him mourning his "past life", and for him to finally acknowledge that he would never be able to go "home". He's doing well, now. i guess i shouldn't be surprised. After all, there is nothing logical about denying our reality. He was never the real shockwave, there is no "real" shockwave. he was born in our brain.
when it comes to fandom stuff, his standards and my standards for what qualify as "acceptable and enjoyable" are not always the same thing.
like. i dislike shockblurr. I won't unfollow people for shipping it. a lot of cool artists like shockblurr and it's a popular ship. but I don't really *get* it and i don't really like seeing it.
shockwave(alter) doesn't mind shockblurr at all. he's never once thought of blurr or frankly any autobot that way (ultra magnus, of all bots, comes close? in a hate-fuck sort of way. i don't get it tbh. dude likes old men like himself ig), but he finds it strangely fascinating and somewhat...entertaining? humorous? as long as he is portrayed "accurately" (not accurate to canon necessarily, but accurate to how he sees himself), he does not care. but still there's a level of uncanniness.
imagine reading fan content strangers made about you?? most stuff would probably be "i would not fucking say that", but occasionally you might have one that's like, "wow, that's interesting. this is exactly how i would respond in real life! that's kind of scary."
uhhh idk where i was going with this. i just felt like i wanted to say something.
anyway. my headmate shockwave and the character shockwave are like two different people to me. i love them both but in different ways. and since we can't completely separate him from source, it feels odd sometimes when our view of the character and our view of him kind of overlap.
#system stuff#rambling#osdd#personal#we're not used to sharing so much OSDD system stuff. we are cringing for lack of a better word#maybe i should delete this#altertag:shocky#fictive
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alias / name : angel ( singletsona / core / host; only if we're close ) / arcana ( singletsona / core / host ) / ansale'wit ( my name translated into mi'kmawi'simk ) / ᐋᓐᔐᓃ ( my name translated into anishinaabemowin, literally spelled aanzhenii ) ; the imaginarians galaxy ( system name; please refer to us& as this when you're not sure who's fronting & please don't refer to us& as one person, everyone in the system deserves to & should have the equal amount of respect, love, dignity, honor, care & undivided attention & it's disrespectful to only ever refer to me& especially if i've& known you for years at this point; that's my& firm boundary. ). birthday : july 13th. zodiac sign : cancer sun, sagittarius moon, libra rising & leo venus. height : 5'2. hobbies : it depends on who you ask because we're& a system but we& collectively like gaming, writing/rping, worldbuilding, learning our& indigenous languages, true crime, psychology, criminology, sociology, philosophy, intersectionality, history (especially during the medieval period but certainly not exclusive), eastern history/civilization, indigenous history/civilization, ancient history, loveletters, queer shit, fashion, acting, transhumanism, alterhumanity, plurality, the occult & magick & witchcraft, the concept of apotheosis, enlightenment, fate, folklore, godhood, hope, humanity, & monstrosity, virtual reality, traveling, asmr, being a boujee native & being an educated heaux.
favorite book : a song of ice and fire series & gangsta. last song : dust bowl by ethel cain. last film / show : the love witch / gangsta. recent reads : arianne martell & sansa stark / alayne stone; the winds of winter.
inspiration : honestly for the longest time i didn't want to return to the tumblr rpc bc it made me feel bittersweet bc a lot of my old friends were moving elsewhere or inactive & on top of that it reminded me of someone i used to know & i have. a lot of bittersweet feelings around this person so. but some of us& wanted to get back into it again. tthe vast majority of our& interpretations on our& muses are heavily based in both headcanons & our& fictives' ( 4 singlets: a fictional introject ) exomemories which honestly most of the time they tend to overlap, the latter meaning that this actually happened to them & isn't something that just happened in a book or a movie or a tv series or a videogame, they're living, breathing people & for that individual, it all happened & it was all very real !! additionally, a lot of my& own personal life was used as major inspiration. being a survivor of multiple traumas that most people can't even fathom ( to the point where my doctor told me most would've kermited if they'd experienced the things i went through ) & that did unspeakable things to my brain chemistry ig so. i use writing to cope. so. yall have to deal w/ that ig. at least i aint boring. /lh furthermore ethel cain & nicole dollanganger are major inspo. & as much as i& write / rp for fun, i& also write & rp to educate others especially on topics like indigenous peoples, disabilities, neurodivergencies & mental health, especially around stigmatized disorders like did bc honestly i'm so very tired & demoralized bc of the constant stigma around did & other stuff like npd, bpd, etc. & both the media & people treating us like we're some kinda fucking soulless monsters when we're literally people who were hurt & failed in childhood & had traumatic upbringings only to be demonized, trauma & other shit so it's v important to us&. representation matters & so does keeping the light of humanity alive & well. story behind url : our& system name the imaginarians galaxy + isms! fun fact about me : my great aunt & technically a cousin of mine was a witch in the family; she passed her knowledge onto her granddaughter, my cousin, & she passed her knowledge down to me so i'm a hereditary witch. my mom dated a serial killer years ago when she was 19 & she had no idea so that was fucking wild bc i was 8 when she told me about it, thanks mom. lmao. i was also born 24 weeks premature & i quite literally died before the doctors resurrected me. basically i made death my bitch. i'm all the letters in 2lgbtqia+ at once & ppl can die mad about it lmao. i'm clusters a ( schizotypal personality disorder / schizospec / psychotic / stpd ) b ( {mild} antisocial personality disorder / aspd, {mild} narcissistic personality disorder / npd, histrionic personality disorder / hpd,, borderline personality disorder / bpd ) & c ( avoidant personality disorder / avpd ) as well as autism & adhd; i also have cptsd & h.c-did bc yknow. trauma did shit to my brain, this shit fucks with me on such a deep level & uh. the comorbidities have me fucking insane up in the club. on the physical disabilities side of things i have cfs / chronic fatigue & pots (so like. don't take it personally if i dont respond quickly) & am hoh. so i'm hoping to get a multipurpose psychiatric service dog & eventually get a wheelchair as an ambulatory wheelchair user. my paternal grandfather fought in wwii & killed nazis. my& clans are mouse / apukji'j ( mi'kmaq ) & wolf / yanariskwa' ( huron-wendat ), it basically represents a family & it has nothing to do with a spirit animal, & in the huron-wendat's case a clan is like an ancestor, who you're descended from in the huron-wendat creation story & they shared a longhouse & traced their lineage from the female line from a female ancestor bc the wendat were matriarchal so wolves are my ancestors.
tagged by : stole it from @noctuafought ( hi aphy lmaoooo ) ! tagging : @velcryons / @brokcncrowns @loyalpromise @helbroth @gutsing @sevynhells @inmydrcams @dethdvncer & anyone who breathes !!
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I never talked about this because ew cringe, talking about my feelings or wha'eva 💀
But anyways. My source 'graduated' (vtuber term thingy. Basically means that they quit their job. Or got fired depending on wha happened). And I'm ngl it's been a weird experience. The aftermath, I mean
He joined another company so it's not like he's gone forever. But he can no longer associate with his old persona, AKA ME, MYSTA. And we're not sure if we'll introject a version of his new character. I briefly contemplated on whether or not I should change, I dunno why. It was just a strange time ig
This is really just a ramble to vent my feelings. I never talked about any of it because it was... A lot. Overwhelming for me and Vin, since my source was/is one of his fave vtubers
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For the HMS shipping thing I think it’s just general consensus due to CJs not outright said weither or not he’s against it or fine w it? and also the fact that it can kindaaaa lean on seeming incesty from a glance? even if you DO take into consideration it’s chill from a system aspect you have to think about the fact the characters were not initially written to be a system and aren’t entirely separate people from each other, like it’s clear they are still connected to each other/whole in some fashion, and idk I think it’s just a “don’t want to risk it” type of thing, plus I just think personally that exploring the characters in a platonic way is more interesting writing wise to dig into their characterizations, ig it just bugs me when all people can get out of a series is ways to ship the characters, nothing against you ofc! You were just curious! BUT I just think the CCCC fandom is like refreshing in that sense you know? Gives more of a chance to explore writing analysis and character dynamics etc :3!
idk if I’m making sense lol I just always try to make sure to be weary of any accidental sus adjacent stuff, and it gets tricky with series like this where it’s kindof a weird gray area?? AND I’m on the ace spectrum so I’m just not the kind of person to ship characters in general/I just don’t see the appeal like others do, TLDR like I said: I think it’s mostly just to play it safe/no one really sees a point in it anyway shrugs /nm (sorry this got long I just had thoughts I wanted to ramble about)
I'm a hopeless romantic so I love shipping, but I TOTALLY get what you mean with the shipping being too much sometimes. Sometimes it's WAYYY more fun and interesting to explore character relationships in a platonic light rather than romantic, especially since fandoms and media focus on shipping and romance a little too much sometimes. I do think it would be interesting exploring some relationships in CCCC in a romantic light, but I still greatly enjoy seeing them interact platonically.
I also thought it might be a "selfcest = incest" thing, since I've seen that crop up in other fandoms with character who isn't explicitly a system but is multiple people. But I don't really get that tbh? When I was younger, selfcest was RAMPANT in some fandoms, ironically or not. (I remember it in homestuck specifically in a jokey sorta way, but it was taken seriously in Undertale AU crossovers for example where everyone shipped Sans with himself. And I have to mention the one we're all thinking off: Onecest.)
I've mentioned this before in my last two posts about this but, again, I think it'd be fine? I don't know Chonny and I am not him so I have no idea his actual feelings on it, but from the QnA it seems they're characters more than they are him. With him allowing headcanoned identities, kinning, introjects (I'm not a system so I don't know if it can be controlled, but he said he was fine with them is the point I'm making), and all that, I assume shipping is fair game as well. Again, though, I'm not Chonny and I don't know Chonny, so I have no way of knowing his actual feelings.
Never feel bad about rambling in my inbox, by the way. I always enjoy hearing about stuff people like, ESPECIALLY if it's something I also like. Thanks for your input! :D
#chonny jash#i just hope that if shipping content starts popping up it doesnt overtake the platonic content#like i said i think itd be interesting but them interacting platonically is more important tbh#seeing them be besties > seeing them be romantic#i just think itd be interesting to dabble in some romantic interpretations of relationships#and if we go one of the monogamous routes the third wheel jokes you could make would be funny#heart x mind. {oh god i wanted them to be close but not THIS close}#soul x heart [can we please focus on the task at hand instead of you guys making goo-goo eyes at each other all day]#soul x mind (IM LITERALLY THE EMBODIMENT OF LOVE AND EMOTION HOW DID YOU TWO GET TOGETHER BEFORE I GOT ANYONE) [haha no bitches]#hms shipping
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🍒🍊🦋🛋☔️ for the ask game! you dont have to answer em all
i will answer as many as i can eheh >:)
🍒 - funny story that happened in headspace?
oooh boy i hvae a good one. ok so one time i can't remember exactly what was going on but we'd either had a bunch of splits or a bunch of people were just close to front and like 2 or 3 persecutors were active too so there was like a full blown fight that broke out in headspace but i was. asleep. i went to sleep and tensions were high but i was like fuck this im leaving and sorta hoped if the body was u know. sleeping nothing would happen but i woke up and front was trashed like the sofas were ripped & there was like a 1.5m wide hole in the bottom of our living room leading to the void and i fell in. uh and then phoenix had to fly in and get me.
the rest under the cut because kgjkfhk.oops that got long
🍊 - tiktok audio/vine that reminds you of a headmate?
NO idea. ive been compulsively scrolling ig for the last couple of weeks but shit goes in and out of my mind so quick. i feel like i should know more vines but coming up blank sorry lads
🦋 - any ‘-heavy’s? (introject heavy, little heavy, protector heavy, etc.)
we split introject fragments SO often. like every new media is +1 at LEAST. uh i guess our next -heavy is protector..? theres like 12 of them.
🛋 - what does headspace look like?
big :] and this is the middle layer only, there's a top layer (dormancy void) and a bottom layer thats just white void that only ppl in my subsys can access uhm cuz we're special ^_^ to the right of this one if you step into it you can see the rest of headspace for a couple of steps but if you blink after a certain point you are so so lost. its like those infinity rooms in minecraft. tommy got lost for a week in there once and i was worried sick thinking he went dormant again but he came back like do NOT go there. duly noted. the blue stuff is ocean btw
☔️ - favorite thing about being plural?
havent actually had one of these in a While but group parties ngl. those are amazing. and generally just when anyone is cofront its like free friends .great for pulling u out of spirals too 👍
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Pinned post ig
I'm Glatt/c!Schlatt introject from @auroras-patch system
I decided to make my personal blog, idk why. But I'm hoping to front more often, so maybe I'll be doing stuff here
Feel free to dm me or send questions, just don't be a dick and don't do any /r stuff. Exept for that, i don't mind any doubles or anything like that
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