chemicalcarousel

[chemicalcarousel]

Having DID and having friends is weird because at some point or another I feel like an imposter. I know other altars don’t like certain friends that others like and I kind of just have to try and be the same person all the time.

I liked you yesterday and was so excited to talk to you but today I can’t stand you and I don’t know when your friend will be coming back but since I love her I’ll try and tolerate you.

If that makes sense.

[chemicalcarousel]

“Oh thank goodness I don’t have THIS kind of trauma :)”

Trauma holder/gatekeeper:

(Ps. I hope nobody has done this before)

[chemicalcarousel]

not what I was going to write . but fine

[chemicalcarousel]

ngl we are confused af about some newer discovered parts. like we dunno where one starts and another one ends. it feels like there are just a bunch of little girls in there. i guess it just takes time and we will get to know them and then learn the difference between them and also how many there are. we think some of them might be some old hosts from when we were much younger who've been dormant for like decades but some of them are active again. or maybe some are fragments holding specific traumas idk manl. DID is hard to try to navigate on your own. we honestly sometimes feel an urge to go to the psych ER just to get some sort of help while waiting on the waiting list (not even for trauma therapy, it's for a general screening for psych disorders by a general psychiatrist bc my country sucks ass). but i know going to the ER wont help. we just risk having forced used on us and we might have them forcefully give us antipsychotics and benzos since most psychiatrists here are so fucking incompetent and just drug you so you stfu and are too sedated to kill yourself

[chemicalcarousel]

neil banging out the tunes stimboard

1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / X / 6 / 7 / 8 / 9

[chemicalcarousel]

fucked up that having a bad homelife growing up predisposes you to a fuckton of health conditions later on bc of longterm exposure to stress

like wtf do you mean i got out of that hellscape only to have a higher likelihood of developing IBS, diabetes, heart disease, stomach ulcers, cancer, and fibromyalgia???

how the fuck is that fair??? i didn't ask for a goddamn souvenir

[chemicalcarousel]

We are really trying to figure out how to make a visual representation of what it feels like to be a system and to switch between alters. Honestly we really want it to be interactive. It could be fun to make a game where you play in 1st person and sometimes you will be triggered and another alter takes over and it might make you lose/gain skills or maybe you even lose complete control and a bot will take over so you just see your character do things or you only have limited control over your character

Idk man we know nothing about game design or programming in general, but since we personally have an easier time learning from visualising things either through images or metaphors, we thought it might also help other people to kinda understand what it feels like to switch and to be a system in general

[chemicalcarousel]

we just watched a minecraft movie and it was actually so much fun. fucking loved the old man yaoi ✊ please let there be a sequel... the world needs more steve x garrett homoerotic scenes that make every parent watching with their kids very uncomfortable 🙏

[chemicalcarousel]

Some rapists don't actually realize they're rapists.

I don't say this to excuse them. There isn't an excuse. It's abhorrent.

I say this to emphasize the importance of teaching about consent in more ways than one.

Teaching about consent is more than "no means no".

It's teaching that silence isn't yes. It's teaching that pushing someone to say 'yes' isn't consent. It's teaching that a freely-given 'yes' is the only acceptable response (this means it's not threatened, manipulated, or otherwise pressured out of you). It's teaching that someone should be capable of consent. This means that they aren't under the influence. It also means that children can never consent to sexual acts.

But it's more than that even.

It's making sure you don't force children to hug or kiss relatives when they say 'no'. It's allowing children to have bodily autonomy. It's not making children feel bad if they don't want to give someone affection. Forcing physical contact, even 'innocent' contact, teaches children that their body doesn't belong to them and this can make them more vulnerable to sexual predators. It can also teach them that it's okay to ignore other people's no's, or otherwise make people feel bad or pressured when they say 'no.' By allowing children to set their own boundaries around what kinds of non-sexual physical touch they are comfortable with, when they want to receive that touch, and from whom, it helps them learn to recognize and enforce their own boundaries. This is helpful in the present, but also in the future when they navigate consent for both receiving and providing.

[chemicalcarousel]

ngl i both need some people to hang out with to distract me from my ptsd episode, but also i am not feeling well enough to hang out with anyone

[chemicalcarousel]

[chemicalcarousel]

@funnier-as-a-system

[chemicalcarousel]

[chemicalcarousel]

"we need more traumatized characters/characters with ptsd and/or who are abuse victims portrayed realistically with symptoms that Arent cute and soft and pretty!" you guys couldnt even handle lapis lazuli

[chemicalcarousel]

“I EXIST IN WAYS YOU CANT IMAGINE”

[chemicalcarousel]

being angry doesn’t make you evil or abusive btw. it just makes you angry

[chemicalcarousel]

Finally got our brows pierced yippee!!!! 🎉🎉🎉

We hope they'll last 🙏 we think they look so cool :D

Our next piercings will probably be some in the ears since we only have our lobes done. Might want more in our lobes and some higher up the ear... but that's gonna be in a few months at least so we got time to decide hehe 😼