#i don’t think I’m being irrational | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

jane-lynndrake-t · 27 days

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Okay, two things. First can you pick a lock? And second, maybe feel your face for scars or something? Since your bathroom has no mirrors

The door knob doesn't have a keyhole. I’m looking around right now to see if there’s anything I can use. I’m not crazy right? This isn’t a hospital and if it is, it’s not a normal one.

No scars. None. The appendectomy scar is gone. My face feels normal, a little dry though.

I’m- I am me, right? God, what a question.

#janet drake #janet drake rp #maybe i should just wait a little longer?#for them to reach that specialist they told me about?#i don’t think I’m being irrational #i don’t think i can trust t them #i feel like i sound insane #tim drake #batman and robin #batfam #batman #dc red robin #dc #dc universe #dc comics #dc rp #dc robin #dcu

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cupiidzbow · 9 months

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can. could. could I be their thir-(gets shot by a sniper)

#txt #relationship full of insane people i think that’s beautiful #I forget how popular these two are but that was like 3 years ago right.#I don’t have to be afraid of people right .#I know it’s irrational but like .#I think I’m just having the fear of being a fem presenting gay man and something something im ruining thier gay relationship.#<- not my words I’m just ( scared for life )#points at self . man . I hope that helps .#I’m confident in my gender presentation and being gnc but sorry ( scared dog )

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birdy-bird27 · 4 months

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I’m so normal and not overthinking things rn :) I’m the normalest human ever

#I WAS FUCKING LATE TO WORK TODAY BY 2 FUCKING MINUTESSSSS AGHHH #That means any bonus this weekend I don’t fucking get it #bullshit #because my car battery died #and I literally ran to work since I live a couple blocks away #THE WORST PART IS I COULD HAVE JUST TAKEN MY MOMS BIME #*BIKE #IM A FUCKING IDIOT #I’m so pissed it’s not funny #I’m getting irrationally angry #I feel myself getting worked up #I need to calm down #what happened already happened #I can’t change it #this was my first time in three years ever being late #this will ruin my life #I’m feeling sick thinking about it #i have this really irrational fear and obsession about being early and on time for things #where if I’m late I have to stop myself from full on crying mental breakdown #Im having such a hard time not loosing my mind #it’s ok #I have to make it ok #and my managers and everything weren’t mad or anything either #they said they get it #but they aren’t the ones who controls the bonus it’s my boss #and idk if she’ll let it slide

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reflectionsofgalaxies · 1 month

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good lord my brain is running laps and i just wanna knock it out and get some goddamn sleep

#apparently just bc I figured it out my brain still isn’t gonna chill out #now i’m stuck between do i communicate and embarrass myself #in hopes that it calms down the fears that i’m already aware are probably irrational #or do i do my best to ignore it and hope my brain chills out on its own soon #and that in the meantime i don’t do my go-to moves when i overthink something #which are running away or getting mean #(not like. mean mean. but snarky. and a little harsh and irritable)#bc no one has done anything wrong!#myself included so far!#my brain just will not let go of this stupid fear #and it’s the same fucking fear that has haunted me on and off through every era of my life #i WILL NOT isolate myself or push people away that’s wildly counterproductive #and honestly i find it mind boggling that that’s even a response bc IT MAKES NO SENSE #anyway everything is changing and it’s fucking me up big time #there’s too many things changing all at once and tbh i’m fucking terrified #and this just happened to be the thing that finally pushed me into ‘cant fucking deal with this’ territory #and nothing has even changed! it’s all in my head right now!!!#it’s so fucking frustrating to know something intellectually but your emotions are off doing their own shit #‘you can’t think away emotions’ I CAN FUCKING TRY #it comes down to fear and anger at that fear and anger at change #i’m so angry and there’s nowhere to direct that anger #being angry at a concept or the very passage of time is just so unsatisfying and annoying #*change as a #personal #i’d say sorry for the vent posts but i can’t afford therapy so #and this is the next best thing

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try-and-try-and-try-again · 3 months

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Manager of the house came in today. He was shouting out what my weight and BMI were so everyone in the house could hear. I asked him not to do that and he said he was sorry and he didn’t realise it would make me uncomfortable.

Afterwards he was in the dining room when me and other residents were on the sofa at the other end of the room. He loudly complained about me being upset by him shouting out about my weight and then continued to shout out my weight and BMI was and also made a lot of really squirm-inducing remarks about my prescribed meal plan in front of everyone.

The staff here had a training session about how to approach eating disorders two weeks after I moved in because when I moved in they literally knew nothing. I really don’t know what they got from it.

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spacelesscowboy · 3 months

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they should invent a me that doesn’t have an irrational and intense reaction to bugs or the very concept of cleanliness.

#emyrs.txt #it’s not all bugs i’m in fact super into most bugs it’s one in particular. that makes me start having breakdowns #i so wish i was being hyperbolic i’m not. having to talk myself down from a panic attack bc one was On My Bed #can’t even name the fucking insect bc i feel like ill manifest it into being or some shit.#hey guys i don’t this is normal i think im actually mentally unwell. surely its not common to have this intense of a reaction.#it’s less about the bug i think and more about what they represent. like the very concept of uncleanliness. i’m so frustrated i just want to #not think about this but i can’t. and every step of the way involves me rolling my eyes at how fucking insane i’m being.#worst part about being irrational is when you know you’re being irrational but u still can’t stop The Rituals.#ok. bye. i need to. cry maybe.

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soft-serve-soymilk · 4 months

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Bitches be fighting (it’s the head children 😘☺️)

#just pav things #We love it when they start yelling at each other 😌#Though there’s only really a select few that yell in this sort of accusatory way and point fingers and I’m thinking of Idyllia!#I did another take on the end of arc 2. Or maybe it’s a continuation of the existing developments #I don’t think she would take very kindly to the two boys having their mini-argument right in front of her (who would?)#And she would ESPECIALLY not take kindly to Dism calling Inigo a. y’know. murderer ✨🌈#I think she has some inner empathy towards Inigo even if she doesn’t say it yet (they both know they share similar feelings towards Archie)#They both feel like they failed Archie and wear that on their shoulders (albeit in complementary ways)#Of course this is Arc 2 and they’re still offput by each other. it’s uncomfortable to look at someone else and see yourself.#So she would slap Dism for his callousness :))) and then berate them both for their self-absorbed nature #Very in line with how she yells at Archie in Arc 3 for much the same thing :3 #She perceives it as cowardice in both situations ✨ Dism being unable to admit he made a mistake and Archie unable to get over himself #and finally reunite with his brother instead of stringing things along #She gets angry because she dislikes that quality in herself :3 #Anyways it’s fun to see how the head children react when they’re upset ❤️#Dism loses all tact and will say anything that comes to his mind. Very snide in his wording.#He loses his inhibitions and lets his shadow side come out to say what he ‘really’ thinks about others #Inigo who delicately holds himself together 24/7 struggles under duress and becomes irrational and hysterical #Jumps to conclusions WAY too quickly #Archie who hates himself more than anything is able to bear pain without lashing out #He directs his pain inward. He was never one for fighting.#Cynthia becomes very quiet and teary and unsure of herself. A stark contrast to her normal demeanour ✨#And as for Archie’s kids. Theon becomes very aggressive and physical (violence is the answer >:3)#Luna would just burst into tears if you made her upset :(#And Ewan takes half of Dism’s approach and half of Theon’s #Which honestly explains why he gets into so many scrapes. 0 conflict resolution skills ✨✨✨✨

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steampunk-raven · 9 months

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spider in room but everyone else is asleep so no one can help me :/ panic time i guess lol

#having scary things in my room is fun because i get to play the game of “which phobia am i MORE scared of: being around lifelong phobia of #mine OR the phobia of leaving my room and risking Being Perceived”#right now it’s the second one :/ which is pretty funny given that every else is fucking ASLEEP so there’s your proof that phobias can be #SUPER irrational lmao #but also my arachnophobia isn’t the worst like I’ll avoid places where spiders were near recently but i can still sometimes watch videos of #them sooo. yay for me lol? this isn’t true for other bugs (yes ik spiders aren’t bugs but my phobias don’t) which sucks for me because the #second most scary one is viewed as beautiful by most people and so many people love them. noooooo thank you. number one most scary aren’t #talked about but idk why they’re super common. and terrifying and OUT TO FUCKING GET ME. WHY DO THEY ALWAYS RUN *AT* ME #bugs love me. if i think about their existence too much i will have a panic attack. this is not a good relationship.#except for silk moths specifically. Ive never seen one irl and are still a little scared but i have a dnd character who loves them so same #ALSO BEES. I love bees. Not scared at all beyond like a normal reasonable “don’t fuck with them” kinda thing. bees are great i love bees #most of the stingy ones I’m ok with individually actually. i dislike the massive loud swarms of them but on their own they’re cute lol #(also to the bug and/or spider lovers i am not a kill bugs kinda person if this is worded weirdly that is because I’m having a fucking pani #attack please be nice)

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abandonmutt · 7 months

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Just thinking

#I’m good at balancing enough to feel like. pleasant normally. but fuck I hate being reminded of just how deep my disordered thinking goes #I rly don’t know how I’m gonna like. heal in the long term #like obviously I’m gonna try but like #I am so desperately adverse to receiving more than very minimal help from anyone #and half the time I don’t even know what would help #the fucking knots I tie myself into are so convoluted and impossible that I kinda feel it’s better for me to just handle it #I don’t know how to be helped. I barely know how to be cared about. I fear that nobody will be able to handle whatever it’s gonna take #to break through all of that shit #like fuck man I don’t even remember how to cry about shit #I probably still need to cry over my moms stroke but it feels stupid now bc she’s fine #i don’t know what to do about that #I never thought I was a self hating kinda guy I thought I was pretty self neutral #but literally the bare minimum opening for shame or for feeling like I’m failing can snag me #even if it’s completely irrational #ugh.

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darlinimamess · 11 months

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#miles thots #tw suicide #hate suddenly being suicidal at 1am #i don’t think i’ll do anything. i’m fine as long as i can recognize that i’m being irrational #i don’t even know why #i might just try to sleep to be safe

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songwritingauslly · 2 years

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having anxiety sucks bc sometimes i can’t tell if i’m overthinking or if my anxious feelings are valid

#like am i reading too much into this?#is it a sign?#maybe i need to take a moment to breathe and think it over #but am i thinking about it too much?#maybe i don’t have to worry about this it’s probably no big deal #but what if it is and i’m ignoring the signs?#am i being too selfish and not considering their pov?#should i be taking this personally or not?#am i being irrational?#the best thing to do would probably be to talk to them #but what if it gets worse!!!!!!!#sigh #tw anxiety #ani’s stuff

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livvyofthelake · 1 year

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like. all the movies left on my movie may list are movies that are either sooooo long (2 hours. i am just so bad at watching movies rn it’s embarrassing) or just don’t really seem like something i’d like. or both. most are both. yes i wanted to watch atonement i’m sure it’s a great movie i’m sure it looks beautiful i’m sure all those actors i like are really great in it. unfortunately it just seems like a movie that will make me want to start clawing my face off out of boredom i’m sorry kiera knightley… god this just blows. flop ass movie may. where’s this years crimson peak 😒

#i’m sure i would LIKE kill bill if i watched it. unfortunately there is a mental barrier between me and that movie #i think i just have an irrational fear of watching movies i’m supposed to like because i feel like i won’t like them. or i won’t Get It #hence why i’m always watching the worst things you’ve ever heard of. i love the underdog i love niche i love weird genre movies #i cannot though being myself to sit down and watch a movie that has been recommend to me by everyone and their father and won awards and has #like a 96% on rotten tomatoes and everyone loves it so much #unfortunately in my experience movies like that tend to hate women so much it’s unwatchable but like i know that can’t possibly be the case #for every movie that’s popular and well liked.#i just can’t seem to do it though. wish i could. i don’t think it’s within me though #beth.txt

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iliveinprocrasti-nationn · 2 years

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i don’t like. the irrationality created by memories

#ive spent enough time pouring over information and reading studies and making sure i know damn well how this disease works so that at least #it’s not some unknown enemy and becomes something i can understand #which is fine until im crying and shaking in my bathroom over it potentially being in this damn house once again and at this time of the #year where specific anniversaries of horrible milestones come back to haunt me #and i haven’t been fully present in going on two years now but these last two days have passed obnoxiously quickly and none of it feels real #it’s been a long time since i haven’t known the hour much less what day it is #and i can tell you about blood vessels and symptoms and all the ways this disease can function in and destroy the body but it doesn’t make #any difference when nothing feels real and i had to check what day it was and got the date wrong for the first time in years #I’m also defaulting to hyper-rationality which hasn’t happened since middle school and isn’t. a good sign #it’s just a replay of a lot of memories i can’t forgot but this time it’s not just memories and has a very much physical component which is #worse. I think. by far.#and then there’s the repercussions of this where I have to see if my brain will allow me to anything #i can hope i can still go to work and everything because i do love it but last time this happened i wasn’t able to walk into any building #without having to leave #so. I don’t know. not to mention things that don’t have to do with school or careers?#and rationally i should be asleep at the moment because sleep is so so necessary right now but that’s the one thing I’m really struggling #with right now #i don’t know. it’s just a lot and I don’t appreciate the added layer of ‘time is a circle’#there’s other things I have to deal with and work through that are more irrational than research vs trauma response but will probably be #harder to work through because man does my brain love latching onto a grudge but. for lack of a better term. whatever #im most upset about things pertaining to a career has been messed up and that i can’t celebrate chanukah with my family #because everyone else can think about christmas but im losing my winter holiday #im just. anything that isn’t empty is scared and angry and bitter just a little bit #vent tw

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steviescrystals · 4 months

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ignore this post i’m just whining again

#i HATE being new with a passion like it is one of the most uncomfortable situations for me to be in #i had extreme social anxiety as a kid (still do i’ve just learned how to manage it better) that had a huge impact on me in school #i switched schools 3 times between the ages of 5 and 10 and tbh i made friends pretty quickly every time #but i was still so indescribably anxious every time bc i just hated being the new kid so much #and i thought that was all behind me bc at the time it was bc i didn’t know anyone and everyone else already had friends #but as i’ve gotten older that same feeling has come back and this time it’s when i’m starting at a new job instead of a new school #i started working when i was 16 and for the first month or two i was so stressed and uncomfortable all the time #and i thought it was normal bc it was my first job ever #which was reinforced when i was 19 and got another job and the adjustment period was a million times better #but i started working there 2 weeks after the business opened so literally everyone was new not just me #and now i’m realizing that was probably the only reason i settled in so easily #bc now i’ve started another job and i’m right back to feeling incredibly anxious whenever i’m there and it’s driving me crazy #like everything’s been super easy so far and it’s the exact same type of work i was doing before so i already know what i’m doing #and everyone i’ve met has been nice and chill but i’m still so uncomfortable #like every time i talk to my coworkers i’m just thinking ‘oh my god this is so awkward’ the whole time and i can’t stop #and i just feel so out of place and it sucks bc i was so excited about this job and rn i just feel so anxious every time i go to work #and the worst part is i felt the same way when i was new at my first job and (to a lesser extent) my second job #so logically i know it’s just bc it’s my first week and it takes time to adjust and it’ll be fine eventually #but knowing that doesn’t make the feeling go away or help me deal with it #like what can i do besides just accepting that work is going to suck for the next month??#the whole thing is just kind of making me spiral bc i desperately needed a new job and this is literally the only one i wanted #but at the same time i’m still so upset about getting laid off from my last job even though it’s been 3 months #and the more anxious i feel at this new job the more i miss my old job #and i cannot allow myself to fall back into the headspace i was in for all of march after losing that job #maybe this is irrational bc it was just a job but the layoff genuinely sent me into one of the worst depressive episodes of my life #so idk i guess i was just really hoping i would love this job right away so i could finally see a bright side to getting laid off #and i mean i don’t have any complaints about the job so far but my anxiety is just making me so unhappy anyway #and i just miss my old job so much and i think about it nonstop and i really fucking hate being new and idk what else to say or do #vent #lj.txt

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yuttikkele · 4 months

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I uhhhhh think the next art joke should be “making your OCs happy and fulfilled” instead of “my only job as a creator is to traumatize my OCs because they’re boring without it”

#I’ve seen stuff that’s like “art community we only have like three jokes we need more” so I propose this #there’s nothing wrong with giving your OCs trauma but I’m honestly pretty tired of seeing people say “if my OCs met me they’d seek revenge”#Like ALL of your OCs? No offense but do you realize how bad that sounds??#those ppl might just be referring to one oc. or they’re not thinking about the interaction very critically #Because I think the average response for most people who find out their life is made-up is existential crisis not immediate revenge.#As for people thinking their OCs would hate them. Like does that not make you sad? If I found out my OCs hated me I think I’d cry #The main problem I have with it is that I keep seeing people say their OCs would want revenge on them like it’s a badge of honor #like “oh I traumatized my OCs so bad I’m not making it out alive!”#Like you don’t have ONE oc that always sees light at the end of the tunnel and believes everyone can be good?#And you don’t have any OCs that imagine and daydream and come up with their own stories??#Like your OCs find out they’re in a story that you made and their first thought is “YOU made me suffer.” instead of #“this person thought they were making a fictional story. They didn’t know we were real.” ????#and like once again I understand some irrational OCs who might jump to conclusions like this. But ALL OF YOUR OCS???#ok sorry I think I got it out of my system #i just like being positive man #ack #text post

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dumbthiccbitch666 · 5 months

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absolutely love when you find out your own parents don’t find you worthy enough to be in their lives

#knew growing up my siblings would leave n gain their own families n leave me behind #didn’t think my parents would also do so #now it’s just little old me #and only me #like my most irrational anxiety inducing bpd fear has now become very real and very rational #like no wonder i don’t think i’m good enough for anyone #bc my own parents don’t want me lmao #i’m a whole adult and my parents don’t care if i live or die hehe #i love being alone forver

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