#myself included so far!

[reflectionsofgalaxies]

good lord my brain is running laps and i just wanna knock it out and get some goddamn sleep

[puppyeared]

littlest furth shop

@laikascomet

[elodee]

HERMIT A DAY MAY - DAY 18

JoeHillsTSD x Where the Sidewalk Ends

For Joe Hills I chose Where the Sidewalk Ends by Shel Silverstein!

I loved this book along with A Light in the Attic when I was a kid. It was one of my earliest exposures to poetry and since Joe is a poet himself, I thought this would suit them well!

In addition to doing a drawing for Joe, I also tried my hand at an original Joe Hills poem in the style of Silverstein. Writing poetry is pretty far outside of my usual wheelhouse, so I hope it turned out suitably Silverstein-esque! I'm proud of it regardless. :)

Here is the text of the poem:

-

JOE HILLS

A puppet is Juppet

A felt little guy

That felt is swell

And svelte

And blue as the sky.

But try as I might

I can't help but think

All that felt

Must swelt

In a Nashville July!

-

To learn more about Where the Sidewalk Ends and see my style references, continue below the cut!

(Happy Hermitcraft stream weekend! A fine weekend to donate to Gamer's Outreach)

Where the Sidewalk Ends is a 1970s book of poetry by Shel Silverstein. Each poem is accompanied by a whimsical ink drawing also done by Silverstein.

The poetry is fantastical and imaginative, often written from a child-like perspective. Though the poetry sometimes touches on darker themes, it does so from a thoughtful place and the collection is enjoyable for people of all ages.

Even if you aren't someone who likes poetry, I highly recommend picking up Where the Sidewalk Ends or A Light in the Attic. They are both wonderful.

Style references:

Every poem in the book has a cute drawing to accompany it. Here is the poem from the above image:

THE ACROBATS

I'll swing

By my ankles,

She'll cling

To your knees

As you hang

By your nose

From a high-up

Trapeze.

But just one thing, please,

As we float through the breeze-

Don't sneeze.

The illustrations for Where the Sidewalk Ends are whimsical with sparse, stippled shading and cartoonish characters

The lineart of these drawings is thick and a little messy but still easily readable even when the subject of the drawings is unusual (which is pretty much all of them)

[meamiiikiii]

[reverse entry AU]

so glad the work week is over!

no more meetings!

what do you mean its only tuesday.

[milquetoad]

of the many injustices put forth toward the show by fans i think the most overall damaging and telling of a complete lack of critical viewership is the idea that sam riegel builds his characters with nothing more than the bit in mind. like you are only telling on yourself if you think characters like scanlan shorthalt and veth brennato are one-dimensional and depthless

[skcirthinq]

Tfw your brother and your uncle and their significant others all got their shit together and are all now in the honeymoon phase. At the same time.

So, I am currently trying to get my sketches collected and cleaned up for @amevello-blue and @alicat54cwriting 's Purple Squared and Purple Rectangle stories.

And I was gonna make these anyway, but then I realized the passage of time exists and it was Pride, and I was like. Well. I gotta. So, sneak peak?

[guardian-angle22]

911: Lone Star S4 E14 | The Case of the Stolen Pudding Cup -> The Culprit Revealed

[rosewheresheshouldntbe]

> Rose: Confess to Kanaya!

Rose: I love you.

Kanaya: Y Yo Ati, Rose.

> Rose: Get swallowed by something that looks like Venom.

> Rose: Get sent to super hell!

> Kanaya: Have something very gay and homophobic happen to you.

Kanaya: ...

What an absolute diversity loss. You find yourself thinking "love loses!"

[thereisacentipedeinmystudy]

Self portrait of sorts ,?

Ive been drawing all evening and i dont really have anything much to show for it

[coldshrugs]

oh, for you i would never sink again

[moodr1ng]

taking further weight/fatphobia/ed/general depression vents under readmore lol

cause like i cannot express how genuinely bad the fatphobia i have against myself is. like. when i picture myself in my head, in the future, i always imagine myself as skinny, bc ive lived my entire adult (and teen) life thinking of my body as a temporary impediment which ill eventually fix. early last year i thought i finally had and was so happy and then gained all the weight back. and idk what to do about it bc i have tried so so so hard to just 'accept being fat' and as i have said again i do not understand how that is possible in this society and i have never managed to get anywhere close to that and dont know how to.

and as a result of this i have considered like. every awful awful option out there for losing weight. like, i tried to get my doctor to prescribe me diet pills. i looked into ozempic and the only reason im NOT trying to illegally get some is that its for diabetic people and it harms them to take from the limited supply. i looked into various weight loss surgeries (be it bariatric surgery, which i cant get bc im not fat enough to qualify, or liposuccion but even if i could realistically afford it i hear it doesnt work in the long run). ive starved myself so much, tried so many diets, so many sports, never managed to stay on for long enough to maintain the results. no joke, i have considered developing a heroin or coke habit EXCLUSIVELY to lose weight, and the reason im not doing that is its too expensive. i complain about my adhd meds giving me food disgust but tbh every time it happens im also relieved bc it means i wont be able to eat for a few days. idk what to do anymore bc this is ruining my life and has been ruining my life for most of it.

i literally feel so worthless, ridiculous and unloveable specifically bc of my weight, and in particular the way its disposed on my body. i would be fine having fat arms, fat thighs, i would probably dig having a fat ass and chest and hips tbh! but i store all my fat on my belly and thats the one part i dont want to be fat, as well as my face and neck. this is such a massive block for me tbh. like, when i talk to new people i always feel like theyre looking down on me or find me pathetic because im fat (and bc im short which is my other major insecurity - i feel like being tall and fat is acceptable but not being short and fat). i dont take any compliments i get at face value bc i feel like everyone is just being nice by pretending like i could EVER be good looking. the only time ive ever felt attractive since i was a young teen was when i had lost the weight last year, and i couldnt maintain that bc it was so stringent.

sometimes when i think "i might be fat for the rest of my life and never manage to maintain being thin" i contemplate suicide over it. its like, the one thing about me i can never accept. i used to have so much internalized racism as a kid/young teen but i eventually got over that and came to appreciate my non-white features and even wish i had inherited more of my mothers looks (like her hair). i used to be so insecure about not being masculine enough but today im actually more into being kind of androgynous. i used to hate everything about myself and ive gotten much better about a lot of it. i dont hate my facial features or my hands or my legs or my arms anymore. i just hate my weight. and its the one thing i cant fucking get rid of.

and like, ive tried so hard to just.. look at other people ik with similar body types who i think are super attractive and think "if theyre attractive and they look like me, surely i could be too?" but it never works no matter what. and i mean, ik outside of like, societal fatphobia, a big part of it is my ed right. like obviously as long as i have an ed that is focused on wanting to lose weight im never gonna be able to accept being fat. but i cant get help for my ed bc there are no resources. and there are no medical professionals who will help me accept being fat bc theyre also fatphobic and they only want to help me lose weight, and they cant even manage to do that.

im just extremely tired of it all. every day i wish i was skinny. i can live w all the rest. i just need to be thin. i dont even need to be bone thin or whatever i just wanna be average. and its so fucking hard for so many reasons. i can almost never cook for myself bc of The Mental Shit. if i do cook for myself its rly hard to do anything complicated so its often not very balanced or healthy. and i rely so much on fast food, takeout and frozen meals bc of this inability to cook. and then theres the emotional shit - bc ever since i was little ive binged whenever i felt anything. bored? binge. angry? binge. sad? binge. happy? binge. theres no emotional state that doesnt wanna make me binge. and the only way i can stave it off is like.. either indulge in other vices (drugs alcohol etc) or just. dip into the restriction part of the ed and start starving myself again. and ofc once it becomes unbearable.. more binging. idk. idk. im at a loss. no one can help. and theres so many things piled on top of each other that make everything impossible.

im not even just talking about the weight - i mean everything in my life is like this carefully balanced tower of cards where each bad thing supports another bad thing supporting another bad thing until it builds into this massive self-sustaining network of dysfunction.

its like. i wake up in the morning (still tired from whatever the hell is wrong w my sleep, probably didnt sleep enough or too much, either way feeling bad). my room is a mess and theres fruit flies everywhere bc of the heat and i need to clean, but bc i woke up exhausted and feeling sick i have no energy to. i go get some water and theres a pile of dishes in the sink that are getting grosser and grosser but the idea of washing them is so daunting i cant bring myself to. i need to shower, but showering is such a hard task, and then if i shower i also need to brush my teeth and take care of my hair and thats so much energy. and if i do all that, well, i havent done the laundry in like 2 weeks so i have nothing clean to wear, so if im gonna shower i should do the laundry so i dont just get clean to put on dirty clothes right. and doing the laundry and hanging the stuff to dry is also such a hard task. and then if im clean and wearing clean clothes, am i just gonna get back in my dirty bed? i also need to change the bedsheets, and i hate doing that. and if im gonna change the sheets then i probably should fucking clean the bedroom, right. and i dont have the energy to do literally any of that. so im dirty, my room is dirty, my kitchen is dirty, i feel like shit, im tired, i havent eaten anything yet. maybe a decent meal would help. but a meal means cleaning some pot and pan to cook stuff in. and then it means cleaning it again after im done cooking, and also cleaning the dishes. and fucking hell i cant do that. so i think, maybe ill go to the convenience store and get a sandwich. but that means i need to get dressed and do my hair and i probably smell bed and i cant just go out like this and im SO TIRED. so i go to order takeout. and sure i could get something fresh and healthy like a poke bowl or something, but thatll cost me like 25 bucks, and i could just get a burger and fries for 10. so i get that. and i dont feel any better, because ive been eating carbs, sugar, and some shitty processed meat near-exclusively for the past several years. and im so tired and feel so awful and so guilty and so gross, so i just start smoking and drinking. maybe if im lucky ill do some art or whatever. and thats how my day goes and then ill go to sleep in my unchanged sheets unshowered laundry undone room dirty dishes piled up. have a bunch of nightmares wake up drenched in sweat etc. and do the same thing tomorrow.

and idk how to fix any of this bc its a cycle right. like where do i start? i feel like i cant do anything bc everything is SO heavy SO tiring SO daunting and im just so exhausted. i want to sleep for 10 years. i want to be happy again. but whenever im not happy i forget how it felt to be happy. so theres nothing to look forward to. and then i think about killing myself again. and thats just how it goes.

ig thats why im so so hopeful to actually get an at-home aid who can get me to do chores and get groceries and shit bc that might actually be the one thing that breaks the cycle, cause i definitely cant do it by myself.

[mintjeru]

dark type 🌙

open for better quality | no reposts

[crossbackpoke-check]

it’s all the rest of what i want with you

connor dewar/brandon duhaime :: 8k

Summary:

“Brandon,” Connor says with a sigh. “There’s no baby in there.”

“Not yet,” Brandon says. Connor feels his stomach twist, almost like what he would imagine a baby kicking to feel like.

in these trying times of dewvorce, may i offer you 8k of pwp inspired by @stillfertile’s wonderful art which i had. several breakdowns about 🫶 anyway please enjoy!!!

[sillyabtmusic]

(231011) Simulation - Keonhee

[fivewholeminutes]

A Series of Small Offerings

PART ONE -6- Jericho

My hands are not worthy

HELLO TO MY FAVOURITESTEST LINE FROM THAT SONG EVER

Not pictured: me singing this line over and over again while filling the bg and jumper with markers

(Am I cheating and using markers now? I sure am, I've had enough of pencils on this paper.)

Notable mention: the thick golden and black markers I've used in these last two pieces are ~grave inscription fixing markers~ bc I'm this edgy (kidding, they're just really good markers).

Notable mention 2: for someone who loves drawing eyes and absolutely hates drawing hands the hand-eye ratio so far is 7-0 (6-0 if we're not counting the skeleton hand and the eyes here that are closed). I have left my comfort zone and never looked back (and for that, THANK YOU AGAIN, LEVYNN!!!)

[gingerteaonthetardis]

holy shit!!! okay, heard y'all loud and clear. time to work out What Would Happen if Twelve Did S2