#i’m sure i would LIKE kill bill if i watched it. unfortunately there is a mental barrier between me and that movie
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like. all the movies left on my movie may list are movies that are either sooooo long (2 hours. i am just so bad at watching movies rn it’s embarrassing) or just don’t really seem like something i’d like. or both. most are both. yes i wanted to watch atonement i’m sure it’s a great movie i’m sure it looks beautiful i’m sure all those actors i like are really great in it. unfortunately it just seems like a movie that will make me want to start clawing my face off out of boredom i’m sorry kiera knightley… god this just blows. flop ass movie may. where’s this years crimson peak 😒
#i’m sure i would LIKE kill bill if i watched it. unfortunately there is a mental barrier between me and that movie#i think i just have an irrational fear of watching movies i’m supposed to like because i feel like i won’t like them. or i won’t Get It#hence why i’m always watching the worst things you’ve ever heard of. i love the underdog i love niche i love weird genre movies#i cannot though being myself to sit down and watch a movie that has been recommend to me by everyone and their father and won awards and has#like a 96% on rotten tomatoes and everyone loves it so much#unfortunately in my experience movies like that tend to hate women so much it’s unwatchable but like i know that can’t possibly be the case#for every movie that’s popular and well liked.#i just can’t seem to do it though. wish i could. i don’t think it’s within me though#beth.txt
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Beauty and the Beast
Prologue
Bill Weasley x reader
Summary: After being attacked by a werewolf many years ago, Bill Weasley goes into hiding, away from the outside world. When a young girl goes in search of her father, she finds the place he’s been kept prisoner. And the person keeping him there. How will she gain the trust of this beast, and what happens when feelings start to show?
A/N: I’m so excited to start this story!!! Just an fyi, things from both Harry Potter and Beauty and the Beast have been altered (like the werewolf situation) to fit with this story, but I hope you all enjoy. Feedback is greatly appreciated :) other parts will be longer than this
Deep in the forest, hidden away from watchful eyes, stood an ancient, worn down manor. Surrounded by trees and a tall steel fence, no place could be more menacing. Wood splinting, spider webs forming, most would assume the place to be empty. Abandoned. But in that manor all alone, there lived a young man. He was handsome. Tall, with red hair and deep set eyes. His name was William, or Bill as his family called him, and he was once an incredibly respected wizard. Strong and precise, he had the chance to work alongside some of the best. Becoming a curse-breaker was like a dream, and he was damn good at it. Everything seemed to perfectly fall into place for Bill. Until one unfortunate night changed it all.
The attack was sudden. And over as quick as it happened. Bill tried to be on guard at all times. But when he saw the ambush on a group of young witches, his only thought was keeping them safe. His act of selflessness almost cost him his life.
Strong hands grabbed at his jacket, throwing him hard to the floor. A deep growl echoed above Bill, and he had no time to react before sharp nails slashed the side of his face. He doesn’t remember screaming or fighting back. He can’t even remember feeling any pain. Just lying on the ground. Accepting Death’s cold touch.
Hours passed before he was found. While doctors and nurses tried their best to heal, the damage was already done. Scars formed on his face, and Bill was told he could turn. The attack had made him half werewolf. He knew the only way to prevent this evolving and getting worse was to kill the one who did this to him. But with only a trace of fur on his coat, and no chance to see his face, there was no use trying.
Years passed, and after leaving his job to settle into the desolated manor, Bill had become used to being alone. Sure, his family visited to check up on him, but he never liked them being around him for long. He was terrified of what he could become, and the possibility of losing control. Molly was worried for her eldest son. The isolation had been affecting him for far too long. She’d even tried setting Bill up on dates. He never went through with them though. He could never see someone caring for him in that way. He felt like a monster. He was a monster. A horrifying creature. If and when he turned, he was nothing but a beast. And who could ever learn, to love a beast?
Tag list: @ohantonia @k-k-merlin @nessa3nessa
Please let me know if you want to be tagged, sorry some of the tags aren’t working for some reason.
#bill weasley x reader#bill weasley#x reader#domnhall gleeson#domnhall gleeson x reader#harry potter#beauty and the beast#rewrite
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Vlad, Viago and Deacon as parents headcanons [pt.2]
[Part 1] [Part 3]
Author’s note: I love writing this shit to a very unhealthy degree. I might make a oneshots out of this later. Also does anyone know Deacon’s nationality? Some say Polish, others say German. I’m still not sure.
Also, if some of you want pt. 3, please let me know what scenarios would you want me to explore specifically, because I am running out of ideas a bit…
When you first appeared in the house, Viago found some old suitcase in the attic and proposed that you’ll sleep in it, until they get you an actual casket.
You tried it, but couldn’t really slumber because of the constant nightmares and it was too scary to open the lid, because of the sun.
So you started sharing a coffin with Viago, at least until you felt calmer.
It resulted in him sacrificing a bit of his sleep to your rather constant tossing and turning, but he quickly got used to it.
He sang you German lullabies to put you to sleep or whispered some calming affirmations (you didn’t understand a word, but it was sweet).
He found these moments so precious, that he actually got upset, when you obtained your own coffin and started sleeping separately in the attic.
Since the attic was now technically your room, Vlad, Viago and Deacon decided to help you decorate it to your liking, so you went on the town basically robbing thrift stores and supermarkets by hypnotising the cashiers.
They helped you assemble the random ikea furniture you got, even though neither of you could understand the instructions on the box.
In your free time, you’ll often find yourself hanging around in Vladislav’s room, posing for his portraits. He likes your expressiveness, it really gives his paintings the right look. And so you won’t get bored sitting there for hours, he asks you about your life before you became a vampire.
You also speak a lot of Romanian together, because Vlad wanted you to know another language, so he only communicated to you in Romanian for a while and you unwillingly started to understand it with time.
If you miss your family, he will take you to your childhood home. Of course, you can’t really interact with them anymore, but you can at least watch and it might make you feel a bit better to know they are still living a good life and that they miss you just as much.
At one point all three of them realise, that you would benefit from some friends within your age group. So they take you out to an arcade pretty early in the evening.
Unfortunately, living with ancient vampires kind of killed any chance for your social skills to develop properly, so you ended up scaring a bunch of kids and getting very upset.
To compensate for it, Deacon called you along to watch videos on the laptop, that Stu set up. You accidentally stumbled upon Bill Nye reuploads and binged them together, because you thought he’s the smartest person to ever roam the earth.
All of them have some kind of a default nickname for you. Viago calls you “Mäuschen” (little mouse), Vlad calls you very simply “Child” and to Deacon you are “Rodent”.
Stu and Nick are kind of like uncles/siblings to you. When the three have to leave somewhere, they usually leave them to babysit you. You have a lot of fun together! Since all three of you still remember what it’s like to actually be a living and breathing human, you get to talk more about recent news and events, rather than reminisce about the past.
You are also the only person in the group, who can’t really steal your clothes from victims, since neither of the vampires is very keen on killing children. Mostly, they ask their newfound werewolf friends to pick something up for you during the day or steal it themselves during the night.
Considering you can’t go to a normal school, they decided to teach you at home. Vlad teaches you literacy and art, Viago teaches you sciences and history and Deacon teaches you actually important shit like hypnotising tax collectors, draining the blood of your victims into mason jars and looking cool as fuck.
If you call Viago “dad”, he will be over the goddamn moon. It’s like he accomplished a goal he didn’t even know he set.
If you call Vladislav your dad, for a moment he would almost feel this long forgotten warmth in his chest. It’s like his heart started to beat again.
If you refer to Deacon as “dad”, he will be very startled and confused at first. It’s a weird feeling for him to have someone trust him and depend on him so much. He won’t admit it, but he really loved that emotion.
The more you are around, the more they get into being parental figures.
Tagging people who asked for part two: @italakthoughts and @rthounasty (this is a fire username btw)
#what we do in the shadows x reader#wwdits fanfic#wwdits x reader#what we do in the shadows#wwdits#fanfic#viago x reader#x reader#deacon x reader#vladislav x reader#vladislav wwdits#vladislav the poker#deacon brücke#deacon wwdits#viago von dorna schmarten scheden heimburg#viago wwdits#child!reader#platonic fanfic
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Regarding crystalization in that Disney Resident Evil Village AU (God, I can’t believe I made that a thing. Mickey have mercy on me.)
-Quick refresher/in case you aren’t familiar with it-
In the games, crystalization occurs when an opponent is usually killed, calcified, and then their remains are turned into crystals. However, I’m going for the version that was used on Zoe and Rosemary where you aren’t killed, but you are turned into a crystal and can be resurrected.… as long as you have enough of yourself to be reformed. Of course, that’s not something our main bad guy is going to let people know, so a LOT of people are going to get traumatized in this story.
Ok, here we go…
-Pre Village-
-Bill Cipher (attempted, but failed)-Belos attempted to crystalize Bill numerous times, but given the MASSIVE cocktail of ingredients Belos used alongside the cadou for Bill, Bill was rendered immune. He found that hilarious and made sure to let Belos know. However, Bill managed to locate the megamycete and nab some of its powers for himself before he was taken out of the village…
Upon his death, his body was too far gone to be crystallized. It calcified almost instantly. (Kind of fitting, considering his fate in GF…) Yet, before he died, he decided to get some stealth revenge on Star by leaving a certain amount of mold within Marco…. And kept a secret from Star…
Dipper Pines–While Bill infected most of the Pines family (save Stan), he let Dipper try to help Star for a bit out of some amusement and to allow some false hope. However, the boy proved to be an actual threat, so Bill triggered the mold within Dipper. Because Bill didn’t have much mastery over it, Dipper was only partially crystalized and was able to keep a mostly human form. Still, it was enough to further piss off Stan and motivate him into saving his family.
–Before Star entered the village–
Marco Diaz–Was captured by Belos and brought to his church, not knowing that the mold buried within him was developing and growing stronger over time–and given that it came straight from Bill, the potential was near limitless. Belos knew he finally had his vessel, but he realized he would ensure two things in crystalizing Marco. One was that it would ensure the ceremony would be a success. Two was that Belos had a way to get rid of the four houses, so he gave the lords the flasks along with a warning–if the flasks left their grasp, they would be punished in a way they would not see coming. He separated the boy from his sister and thus crystalized him.
-When Star is in the village–
Numerous villagers/the goofycans– While some villagers had been secretly evacuated (including the friends and families of two of the ‘daughters’) others were not so lucky as these bizarre monsters rampaged through the village and infected many. While Star tried to avoid fighting them as best as she could, there were cases where she had to fight, and many ended up crystalized and were shattered. Yet strangely, even if these creatures tried to bite Star, their infection wouldn’t spread to her for some reason…
Ok.... This is where people will likely start sharpening their pitchforks and come after me–
-the castle overlooking the village-
-Globgor–Eclipsa made it clear to Star–who had been trying to maneuver her way through the castle–that she could not let the girl roam free on her property, and when Star got too close to the room where the first flask was hidden, Eclipsa mutated and attacked.
Globgor–realizing that his wife was willing to kill Star if it meant keeping her family safe (even if that was the last thing she wanted)–tried to save the girl, who only wanted to find her friend and get him and his sister out of there. Unfortunately, Belos was closely watching somewhere hidden and–deciding to motivate Eclipsa–triggered Globgor’s crystallization. Eclipsa was forced to watch as her beloved husband–someone she fought so hard to save–seemingly died before her eyes.
Eclipsa–Mistakenly assuming that Star killed her husband, Eclipsa flew in a fit of rage and attacked Star once more. As the battle wore on, Star ended up in the room where the flask was kept. Eclipsa was eventually too injured to continue on and realized she was fighting a losing battle. Eclipsa–not wanting to lose her daughter too–promised Star that she could help her stop Belos, but Belos went ahead and triggered Eclipsa’s crystallization, though she had enough time to plead for her daughter’s safety and dropped a clue regarding the flask’s importance.
Yet there was something that baffled Star–why did Eclipsa mistake her for her mother and asked about her?
While Belos attempted to crystalize Meteora, it didn’t work–Meteora had powers, but no cadou inside her to manipulate. When Meteora–alongside Mariposa–was given to the strange, helpful merchant Star befriended, he agreed to keep the infants safe, alongside the crystalized forms of Meteora’s parents.
-The house beyond the cemetery–
Molly–While he managed to sneak Molly’s friends and family out of the village, Scratch was not able to send Molly away unless it raised suspicion. Determined to not let an even worse fate befall the girl, Scratch locked her up in his house and went all out to traumatize Star when she managed to enter the house, and hoped to drive her out. Yet Star freed Molly and revealed to her that she just needed the flask and would gladly leave the both of them alone. Determined to protect her friend, Molly agreed to help find it.
When Star was able to locate Scratch’s real, living body, she threatened the spirit that she would drop it off the cliff if he didn’t give the flask over. Scratch refused and Star… made good in her threat, much to his horror, forcing him to save himself before he could become a ghost for real. Meanwhile, Molly came to give Star the flask, but once it was passed into her hands, Molly’s fate was sealed. While Scratch was quick to return, saw this happen, and tried to get the flask back, it was too late. Belos kept his word and Molly was crystallized before her friend’s eyes.
Scratch–He gave up.
There was no point anymore.
After all he had done to try to keep Molly safe in all the time he knew her, he failed and lost the only thing he had left in his life that he cared for. He truly had no reason to remain on Earth.
In his despair, Scratch handed his flask to Star and accepted his own fate. His soul was forcibly reunited with his body which crystallized.
-The house on the lone isle–
Eda–of the four lords, Belos had a very personal grudge against Eda. She was descended from the woman who stole his brother away from him, and–in Belos eyes–was responsible for Caleb’s death. He had been waiting for the right time to enact his revenge upon the Clawthorne bloodline, and now he had his chance.
However, this was something Eda had been preparing for. She knew she wouldn’t be spared from her fate, but she ensured that Luz–thanks to the use of titan DNA mixed with her cadou–would be immune from crystallization.
Eda put on a hell of a convincing show to make Star think she was a bad guy and didn’t hold back when her mutation activated. She had made sure that Star could easily find her flask long after Luz was forced to secretly evacuate with King. When Star grabbed the flask and avoided getting killed by Eda, Belos all too happily activated Eda’s crystalization, not caring if she was Caleb’s something-great-granddaughter.
As she crystalized, Eda regained her sanity long enough to declare that she screwed Belos over–she knew who he truly was to her, and she and her family would get the last laugh in the end. She laughed until her crystallization was completed.
Elsewhere, Luz and King revealed themselves to the merchant–King’s father. The father and son were overjoyed to be reunited, and Papa Titan thanked Luz. He promised her that her mother and friends were safe, and advised her to stay with him and the others until it was time to reveal herself.
-The factory beyond the fields (no I’m not doing THAT jingle, this isn’t meant to be funny here)-
Vanessa–While lacking in a cadou, Belos had secretly given Vanessa slight quantities of mold over the years to try to improve her own powers, unbeknownst to her father. While he was unable to crystalize Meteora, he was sure he would have a better success with Vanessa.
While she could have escaped with her mother, Vanessa correctly predicted Doof’s fate and stayed at the factory. After Star spent time trying to maneuver her way through the factory–with each room practically a death trap–Vanessa confronted the girl and used some of her father’s creations to fight back. When that didn’t work, physical force was required.
Surprisingly for Star, it appeared Vanessa was actually going to defeat her. But Belos did not want this and triggered Vanessa’s crystalization. Horrifyingly, it worked–Vanessa was too infected with traces of mold to be immune to the process, unlike her youngest ‘cousin.’
Doof–He had known for too long that he was the least favored of the lords, having no powers beyond being able to create his machines and being able to survive what should have been horrifying injuries. He had planned to rebel against Belos at the last second to deny him a victory and was so proud that his daughter might actually be able to defeat Star when everyone else failed.
Upon seeing his daughter’s fate, he snapped. He was going to MURDER Star before he could get to Belos and brought out his greatest ‘inator.’ A mechanical monstrosity that would crush the girl to death. However, Star had a very unexpected ally on her side who snuck into the factory. Someone that–to her surprise–the enraged inventor was more than familiar with.
Upon finding a vehicle to use, Star had something to combat the final lord. His anger and his hubris in the match proved to be his undoing, and Star landed the final blow. To add insult to injury, Star’s ally found the final flask he delivered it to her before Doof’s eyes.
Belos triggered the seemingly final crystalization upon Doof…. But not before he could curse out everyone who wronged him.
However, there was one more person Belos needed to eliminate… an unknown fifth ‘daughter’ that only he was aware of… That ‘daughter’ was none other than–
Star–Once upon a time in the village, there was a chef beloved by all, whose daughter was friends with the young Lady Eclipsa when her mother had control of the castle. A sickness spread in the village and when the daughters of both the chef and lady were at their deathbeds, Belos gave them cadous as well as the same type of DNA. One girl gained powers, the other did not, beyond a change in her appearance. Having no desire for two of the same lords, Belos cast the chef’s daughter out of the village and left her for dead, while her mother was already dead. Yet the girl escaped, grew up, married, and had a child. A child who carried those powers, which would not develop and manifest until they were exposed to the mold that Bill brought with him.
Star was the child of Moon–the lord who never was. She was the unknown fifth ‘daughter.’
Belos separated Star from anyone who could help her and laid out his plans in full to her, while also revealing the truth of her lineage. However her purpose had been served–thanks to her attempts to save Marco, her ‘aunts’ and ‘uncles’ and half of her ‘cousins’ were gone. He revealed that he was indeed behind the crystallizations of a ‘family’ she never knew and could of had.
With her purpose done, Belos triggered Star’s crystallization and left her for dead while taking the flasks back…
…Yet did not know that Luz had not been crystalized and had been hiding and overhearing EVERYTHING. He also did not know that Luz was taught how to reverse the crystallization process, but she only had enough time and power to spare for one person. So Luz came to collect Star–as well as the final two crystalized ‘family’ members–and took her back to a certain caravan where a merchant was waiting…
#this is a long one guys#some people are going to not be happy#resident evil village au#re village au#disney#star vs the forces of evil#gravity falls#the owl house#the ghost and molly mcgee#phineas and ferb#too many characters to list-not going to bother
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do you have any favorite time loop drarry fics?
Hi there! I sure do 😉
Swish and Flick by @unmistakablyoatmeal (E, 7k)
The Swish and Flick is the last place Draco wants to spend his Saturday evening—especially when he discovers Potter is also in attendance—and he can't wait for the night to end. Unfortunately for Draco, time is not on his side.
flashback, warm nights by warmfoothills (M, 13k)
“What’s killing me is that I actually quite fucking like Christmas, festival-for-a-personally-irrelevant-religion-turned-commercialised-garbage-holiday though it may be, and now I’m stuck in the perpetual almost-there of it all with an idiot who gets himself cut up every time no matter how differently I try and do things!”
Boats, but Not the Ocean by p1013 (E, 15k)
If Draco ever gets his hands on this Bill Murray character, he's going to kill him.
At the Crossroads There We’ll Meet by @firethesound (E, 24k)
Potter keeps dying; Draco keeps saving him.
The Inconvenient Death(s) of Harry Potter by @nv-md (E, 33k)
Harry and Draco have spent the decade since the War avoiding each other, even as they’re forced to work together at the Ministry and their friend groups begin to alarmingly overlap. But what happens when Harry meets a tragic end (in a manner of speaking) and Draco’s the only one who can save him?
The Day Before the Wedding by @kbrick (E, 39k)
Harry's getting married to Ginny tomorrow. The problem is that he can't seem to get beyond today.
It’s No Great Mystery by agentmoppet (E, 57k)
Who on earth decided that bringing back the Yule Ball for their eighth year would be a good idea? It feels like the worst day of Harry’s life, watching everyone get glammed up like the war never happened, like the last Triwizard Tournament wasn’t such a colossal failure.
Time and Again by @manixzen (E, 69k)
Harry's absolutely sure it's Malfoy's fault that they are stuck reliving the same day over and over.
Tea and No Sympathy by who_la_hoop (E, 70k)
It's Potter's fault, of course, that Draco finds himself trapped in the same twenty-four-hour period, repeating itself over and over again. It's been nearly a year since the unpleasant business at Hogwarts, and Draco's getting on with his life quite nicely, thank you, until Harry sodding Potter steps in and ruins it all, just like always.
Timecode by Rasborealis (M, 73k)
Harry Potter has been dead for two years, and Draco would laugh in the face of anyone claiming differently. Well, anyone but Hermione Granger.
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Tagged by @vonlipvig
Last song I listened to: We Like to Party (aka The Vengabus) by the Vengaboys. This damn song arrived inexplicably in my head this morning and WILL NOT leave. In an attempt to exorcise it like the demon it is, I listened to this song in its entirety. Unfortunately this didn’t work, and I now know more words to The Vengabus (it’s coming and everybody’s jumping, New York to San Francisco an intercity disco)
Last book I read: Which Way to Anywhere by Cressida Cowell, the writer of How To Train Your Dragon, doing a sci-fi story, of course I read and enjoyed this. I loved the dynamic between the siblings, the cool morally grey space teen, and watching a small magic baby forcibly adopt the space equivalent of OG Alvin the Treacherous. There were other less funny things I enjoyed (like the neat way it conveyed the fact that Daniel is living in a house that is effectively being haunted by his wife’s ex husband) but to be honest I don’t have the time to really go off on one, and this only makes sense to like 1% of you anyway.
Last film I watched: Oh jeez, it’s been a fair few weeks since I watched a film, and I sort of fried my brain with my own filming schedule. I’m 75% sure it was Kill Bill part 2 though, cos my brother and I realised we’d never seen The Kill Bill films, and it seemed like it would be our jam (and it was).
Last TV series I watched: Shogun. I’ve been watching it with my family every week, starting because Dad had read the book and wanted to watch it. As someone who knows basically nothing about that period of Japanese history, I’m finding it very interesting, and I feel like, weirdly, I’m getting a better understanding of some of the cultural influences behind some of the Japanese fiction I already know and enjoy.
Last video game I played: Trauma Center Under the Knife. Both a bastard game that I hate and a brilliant game that I love. The characters and story are great and I love them, but I’m pretty sure surgery is the thing I am worst at in this life and I should be struck off and never allowed in an operating theatre again. I am currently trying to kill an evil spider that lives on the heart of a child experiment (because this game is wild) and I am slightly scared that this isn’t the final boss of the game. In a thousand different universes that child has died of heart spider, but heart spider has to get lucky a thousand times… The Flailing Muppets Who Possess Derek Whenever He Does Surgery only has to get lucky once!
Last thing I googled: Trauma Center Savato strategy. Look The Flailing Muppets Who Possess Derek Whenever He Does Surgery needs all the help she can get, ok?
Last thing I ate: 3 packets of mini eggs. I got a lot of Easter chocolate to eat through.
Sweet, savoury or spicy: I alternate between preferring sweet and savoury dependant on an unknowable force beyond my control or understanding. Right now I like sweet things the best (hence the chocolate eggs).
Amount of Sleep: Full 8 hours baby! I finally fixed my sleep schedule out of necessity of not dying last week!
Currently Reading: Gideon the Ninth! Turns out this book is really good, I can see why you guys like it so much.
Currently watching: A documentary on Honey Ants, these creatures are cool and fucked up in a way I would love to apply to humans in a work of fiction. Living larders for instance are an incredibly messed up idea.
Tagging: @thelastlivingme @bluejaybytes @lightflame @saltykrispycake and whoever else wants to do it!
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Agatha Harkness x Fem!Reader: For Better or Worse
Summary: Agatha Harkness + 47 -- "I have no idea what you're talking about."
AO3
Prompts found here!
A/N: I love Agatha to the moon and back. Who else is excited for coven of chaos?!
Full Ficmas List
Tag List: @ghostsunderstoodmysoul @escapetodreamworld @multifandomfix @white--lillies @imtrashinflames @call-me-no-one
Warning(s): None
You think it’s the 2010s, but you can’t be sure. Maybe you’re still stuck in the 90s.
Time is an illusion inside the Hex. Some days pass quicker than others; if Wanda gets bored, she can speed up the clock, and usher all of her little ‘side characters’ to bed. It can take a week between decades or sometimes Wanda flips between them. One day you wake up to jeans and a sweater, the next an obnoxious pair of yellow leg-warmers. The show she’s made you part of captures only minutes of the months you live.
You’d give anything for time to be linear again. Unfortunately, that seems to be a luxury, and you’re not very high on the totem pole.
The saving grace is you’re not alone. Agatha bears the weight with you, staring right down the barrel of the gun Wanda’s unknowingly loaded just to get an understanding. You thank the cosmos everyday for how powerful she is. Were she a lesser witch, your hair would be falling out from the anxiety.
What Wanda lacks in time, she makes up for in characterization. You’re a background character, but a sweet, organized one; your adherence to a schedule is impressive. So she allows you a hell of a lot of freedom and some sense of normalcy. You could almost grow to like her for it.
First thing in the morning, you make a pot of coffee for you and your Hex-husband—you can barely recall his name anymore—and check the mailbox. Among the typical bills there is always a folded sheet of paper, typically blank, but sometimes bearing the elegant scrawl you know and love.
Unfolding the paper today, you smile down at the ink.
Eleven.
It’s cryptic and succinct and it warms you from your head to your toes. Finally, a bright spot. Agatha’s been too busy being followed by cameras to see you. Everytime you watch her pass, just barely making eye contact, you nearly lose it at the distance between you.
You go through your routine normally all day until night rolls around. Making sure your Hex-husband is suitably knocked out, you wait by the door.
Tap Tap, Knock Knock.
In your eagerness, you practically rip the door from the hinges. Agatha pushes inside.
“Miss me?” She teases.
“More than anything,” You say genuinely, pulling her into a kiss, “I’m going crazy in this place.”
Fingers scratch at your scalp and comb through your hair. She looks so damn kissable in her purple sweater, hair pulled up into a messy updo.
“It’s not that bad, dear.”
Your temper flares at her dismissal, energy crackling at your fingertips. She absorbs it.
“Agatha, sweetheart,” You drawl, voice dripping with venomous sweetness, “If I have to take another pilates class, I’m going to kill the instructor.”
“Don’t make promises you can’t keep.”
You push away from her, “I’m your wife, you’re supposed to love me. Instead, you’re letting me go mad here, because of some other witch. Should I be jealous?”
“Against my better judgment, I do love you. We’re almost through here.”
When you pushed away from her, you’d taken up pacing. It’s an awful habit that you didn’t develop until coming here. You’ve likely worn out the tread on your shoes from all the hours you spend walking back and forth, like a tiger trying to escape its cage.
You pause.
Turning and staring hard at your wife, you can see the moment she realizes her mistake. It’s only a twitch of her eye, but you’ve been with her for almost seventy years. She’s hiding something. Agatha has only told you she loved you three times; when she asked you to stay with her, when you married her, and that one time in Brazil that you almost died.
“You’re stalling.” You accuse.
“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“What is it that you’re waiting for, Agatha? Maybe if you told me I’d be a little less inclined to blow the place up. If I know what I’m working for, I’ll play along.”
Agatha takes your face in her hands, voice calm, “We’re almost done.”
You hate her.
You love her.
Gods, she pisses you off. But she’s all you want.
“Speed up the timeline, Agatha.” You say, “Or I will.”
You’ve never been one to bluff. Back in the day, that’s what drew her to you; you always made good on your threats. It intrigued and worried her. So much power in the hands of a seemingly-unstable wielder almost got you killed, drained of all power in New Hampshire of all places. Instead, you ended up with a wife; you’re still not sure what changed her mind.
Now, though, it’s a point of contention. Agatha is secretive and you’ve never pushed, but the Hex is driving you mad. You weren’t prepared for this. So either she moves up the timeline and ends this twisted daydream or you will, and she’ll be in the doghouse for the next decade.
She sighs.
“Fine.”
You kiss her and she kisses back, reluctantly. Her body is taut with frustration.
It isn’t your fault she’s hiding the truth from you. You’ve been together too long for it to bother you at this point, but things would be more straightforward if she didn’t insist on keeping everything locked in her mind. Sometimes you wonder if she does it to drive you up the wall.
You forgive her many things; that’s what a wife does. Agatha, though… she has a different definition of what being a wife entails. Grudges are held frequently and for longer than necessary. But you love her and forgive her for it anyway.
But loving and forgiving doesn’t mean you enjoy the separation. You hate the absence of her. Since your marriage—a quaint, quick thing in a courthouse in Massachusetts, made possible by an old contact of her’s—you’ve spent little time apart simply because you dislike the space.
You feel the distance now and hate it.
“I’m sorry, my love,” You say, though you’re not, really, you just want things to be okay again, “What do you need from me?”
“More time.” She says immediately, tone clipped.
Trust your wife to ask for the one thing you can’t stand giving.
“I don’t know how much longer I can handle this. I’ll go mad.”
Agatha smirks, “You’re not already?”
The fondness has returned to her eyes. You hate her for wanting more time—for needing it—but you love her, so you forgive her.
“How much time?” You ask softly. You can bear the weight of madness a little longer.
“A few weeks.”
You wince, but nod. Glee floods her eyes and you wonder how you could deny her in the first place. You hate how she holds your heart. You love her for making you feel.
Agatha kisses you and there’s no reluctance. She’s all teeth, tongue, and desire. She’s darkness and anger and corruption.
She’s yours—for better or worse.
#agatha harkness#agatha harkness x reader#marvel x reader#marvel#marvel cinematic universe#marvel imagine#agatha harkness imagine#wlw#wlw imagine#dec2022#multimilfswritings#multimilfsficmas2022
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Feel free to answer privately if you'd like- i know the Longlegs discussion is getting a bit muddled up in the notes and i'm actually really interested in people's takes on the film, especially when they bring up things i'd never consider, like Longlegs being a bit of a touchy subject when it comes to being potentially transgender, or just repeated (typically negative) stereotypes in horror in general. i find this type of stuff really fascinating!
(i apologize if i get a little lengthy in this lol)
while i don't particularly see Longlegs as trans, with the idea of Buffalo Bill being in a lot of peoples heads as a reference for Longlegs can definitely nudge them in that direction, and ill never fault anyone on their interpretation on a character in a film, it's kinda what makes films art to begin with. tho i also think (personally) that it may be a bit unfair to a character who, throughout the movie, is not a Buffalo Bill character other than the fact that Bill and Longlegs are both murderers. Bill is regarded as feminine because of who he kills and why he does it, where as Longlegs is sort of guided more towards the 'epitome of evil', to the point where Longlegs isn't even killing anyone directly, because its simply his influence with Ruth, the orbs, and the dolls. the through-lines are surely there, especially in terms of the ambiguity of gender, the cliches, and the harmful stereotypes associated with them. i'm just under the impression that the more you pick at it, the more the similarities kinda dissolve- but that's just me!
not to get long winded and annoying but i perceived Longlegs as not a human at all, but a rendition of the "Beast" itself, with Ruth being the other, forming the triangle that Longlegs seemed to be obsessed with, or less satanically accurate (i guess?? im no where close to religious so hoo boy if im wrong consider me a silly goose) , maybe a portrayal of the Antichrist itself. Longlegs is unnerving to look at and listen to because its desperately trying to be something that it perceives as 'beautiful,' when in actuality, is horrifying, like a 'demon' would present itself (if we want to pretend we know what a demon would do, but its fiction, so wooooo!) there is of course issues that are going to spike up with that- the 'feminine' presentation can set off alarm bells for a demographic that's already viewed in an (unfair, of course) 'evil' sense. but i think that unfortunately makes things more interesting- Longlegs can be perceived as anything, but at the end of the day, is evil, nearly on a cosmic level because we truly dont know what the hell Longlegs even is.
i super apologize for this being long and probably obnoxious but i personally love having discussions when it comes to interpretations of films, ESPECIALLY horror. Longlegs is bringing up a lot of different ideas and concepts for things that i havent seen in quite a while and i think thats really neat.
thank you again for humoring this ask! :) one thing i will fight you on is saw 5 being picked over saw 6, how dare you! the shotgun carousel was a masterpiece!
You are all good!! I also love discussing film and don’t mind long asks at all!! In fact this made my day!!! I just didn’t want to answer rude anons lol) I…also just typed a giant response so I’m sorry for not knowing how to be concise
I actually love your analysis! It’s a lot of things I hadn’t really considered! I think my personal gripe with the movie is that I just don’t find satanic motivations in film scary, I was so much more frightened and intrigued when longlegs was just a killer with an odd obsession with the 14th, when he was untraceable by his own power and not ‘the devil.’ Longlegs wanted you to be scared of both longlegs (the killer) and supernatural aspects, and I just lost all fear of the killer when he started being all ‘hail satan,’ it immediately made the character and their motivation entirely uninteresting and overdone. I spend a lot of time watching bad horror movies just to see if the reviews were wrong (sometimes horror gems were so poorly received and written off), and maybe I’ve just seen more horror about the devil than other people and I’m too jaded about it to find longlegs refreshing or new :/
I do love the idea of longlegs not being human and I can totally see that in the film, it could recontextualize the scene where he smashes his face and his nose falls off as an inhumanity rather than like…hey look at how bad plastic surgery is, which is what it came off as to me at first!! I love that line of thought actually!!
I like the idea that longlegs is portrayed as someone who lacks a gender is less with interpretations like yours which are so fun and interesting to examine is there’s JUST as much, if not more room for bad faith interpretations about trans people. I think my gut reaction of ‘oh no this is about a trans coded killer,’ comes from, both the actor confirming they were portraying a character who doesn’t follow traditional gender roles, and also the social climate rn that is SO violent towards trans people. While I love the idea of a killer who embodies evil, I just think a lot of people are going to walk away with the image of another ‘androgynous’ devil worshipping child killer in their heads, which I think was a dangerous choice on Oz and Cage’s parts. I wish they’d gone in a different direction to show inhumanity, maybe make the killers limbs unnaturally long, get rid of the lipstick and make his lips barely visible, instead of big cheeks have bulging eyes. There’s so many directions they could’ve gone that would’ve led me to immediately think “inhuman” and not “trans stereotype,” on my first watch, but I definitely think there’s a lot of room for interpretation and I loveee the idea of longlegs potentially being infected or changed internally/externally due to close contact with evil and the devil, it’s something to think about!
Ok forgive me for yapping about things you didn’t even mention because my other issue with the film was that it dedicated like 5 whole mins to explain, in depth, exactly how the dolls and Lee’s mom work with longlegs. Like. Ok I can give them the devil worshipping, I wish they’d been more creative but that’s not the ultimate sin, I just WISH they’d let me decide how that supernatural element worked for myself, I don’t want you to explain it to me. Same with Lee’s psychic abilities: you just dedicated a pretty creepy scene to showing that Lee could perceive things others can’t, I don’t then need you to tell me ‼️she’s psychic‼️‼️don’t forget‼️just in case you forgot in the last 2 mins ‼️ our main character is a psychic. This is a movie that held my hand because they were so obsessed with what they wrote that it ruined the horror of the unknown, at least for me. But on the other hand, there’s so many plot holes and issues with the story that don’t really fit in the ‘crime horror’ genre. Idk, this movie left a lot of contradictory thoughts in my brain and I think a lot of why I didn’t like was that I’ve just seen so many better horror movies that do all the things this movie does and more. I don’t think it’s bad but…it didn’t live up to the hype. Whoever was in charge of marketing for this movie needs the biggest raise possible lol
(Ok look the traps in saw 6 are so much better but I love Hoffman and Strahms dynamic in 5 they’re so silly goofy…glass coffin…but ur so right shotgun carousel is one of the best traps in the entire franchise)
#I typed this out at work (slow day) so sorry if it’s rambled#THANK YOU FOR UR ASK THO OMG#I loveee talking film and horror and I never get to do it irl this is so fun#ask#longlegs
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23: Succumbing to the Darkening [wrong end 8 ★8]
Corpse Party Hub, < prev, next >
Once again, this is wrong end 8 ★8 from Book of Shadows Episode #5, taking place in Blood Covered’s Chapter 2. Sorry if the recycled dialogue/descriptions from the previous ones is getting boring, but the ending and characters this time are different! Unfortunately I can’t promise something entirely new for next week, as it’s an alt of this one with a much worse ending lol After this one is two more of this section, and then it’s on to more whump, violence, and gore from later in the game!
Pairing: Tubbo, Aimsey, Ranboo, Bill
Word Count: 3244
Chapter TWs: Blood and Gore, Graphic Depictions of Violence/Gore, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Mind Manipulation ("Darkening")
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Whatever you do, don't look behind you.
The note laid neatly beside the candle on the steps, causing Tubbo to scoff aloud and quickly glance over his shoulder.
“Oh, yeah? What happens if I do?”
He blinked as the familiar figure of Aimee emerged from the darkness below, calling his name out in relief as they recognized each other. “Tubbo…!”
“Aimee!” Tubbo smiled as she approached, before glancing around in confusion upon not seeing the companion he'd last seen her with at the pool. “Where's Schlatt?”
“I— I don't know. He was with me until a second ago, but then we found ourselves running from this man with… an axe, I think… and we got separated.” Aimee explained apologetically, staring down at the floor and rubbing her hands together anxiously.
“Shit, really?” Tubbo cursed, before noticing the splattering of blood covering the front of her shirt with a worried frown. “Are you alright? You're not hurt, are you?”
“No, I'm okay. This… isn't my blood.” She huffed out a humorless laugh, keeping her gaze resolutely on the floor between their feet. “It's just… this school… it's even more dangerous than I thought. Whoever that guy is, I'm sure he's been going around killing anyone who gets lost in here.”
“Yeah… sounds like a fair assumption.”
Aimee finally looked up after a long moment of silence, swaying slightly before quietly admitting, “I’m scared, Tubbo. I'm scared that… that if I'm by myself, he'll find me, and…”
“Well… don't be. I'll stick by you!” Tubbo instantly offered, not liking where she was going.
“Really…? Are you sure?”
“Of course!” Tubbo nodded, watching the way her eyes lit up with relief. “I'd hate to leave you all by yourself anyway, and we can both keep an eye out for any creepy axe-men.”
“Thank you so much!”
Aimee grinned wide, throwing herself forward to pull Tubbo into a tight hug that he immediately tried to slip out of with an uncomfortable shiver. “Whoa! H—Hey…!”
“Ah, I'm sorry! You have a boyfriend already, don't you? I think you said his name was Tommy?” She quickly let go, rubbing at the back of her neck with a sheepish smile that started a strange swirl of suspicion in the back of Tubbo’s mind.
“Oh, no no no! Ew! We're not like that.” He immediately corrected, keeping his uneasiness to himself for the moment. “He's more like a brother to me, you know?"
“Ahh… I bet life would be a whole lot less boring if I had a brother like you.”
“Hah… yeah, maybe.” Tubbo ignored the way her tone made his stomach sink, trying to write it off as a result of the shock she must’ve experienced before running back into him. “It might not always be an enjoyable experience, but if you're looking for something less boring, I can certainly offer you that.”
Methodically checking the next floor as carefully as they could for Tommy, the two wandered around for quite a ways before the ambient light of the school seemed to dim greatly.
“It's dark in here…” Tubbo commented rhetorically as the two were searching the hall, before noticing that she’d stopped at some point along the way and seemed to be looking for something on her person. “…Aims? What's up?”
“Give me a sec... I have a light.” She said without looking up, before shivering a little and frowning. “It's not just dark, but cold, too…” “Yeah... We should turn back. I've got a really bad feeling about this hallway.” Tubbo shuddered a little, though he wasn't sure if it was his ever increasing nerves or the chill in the air.
“But… the way back is gone.” Aimee pointed back behind the two, Tubbo’s eyes finally adjusting to the darkness enough to see that yes—in fact—the wooden floor behind them had seemingly rotted and caved in, preventing them from going back, short of jumping the gap.
“Shit…” He fought the urge to kick something loose from a nearby pile of broken wood, before suddenly remembering— “Hey, do you still have that alcohol lamp?”
“Sorry, that didn't quite make it.” Aimee sighed sadly, before smiling and offering Tubbo the handful of candles she’d been looking for. “I have plenty of candles, though!”
“Yeah, well, I don't think the candles will be enough.” Tubbo retorted a little sharper than he meant to, though Aimee didn’t seem to be bothered by it as she put the candles back and headed off down the hallway again.
“Hey… look! There's a room.” She cheered a moment later, gesturing into the darkness with one hand and reaching back to grab Tubbo with the other. “Let's go see what's inside. Okay?”
“Hey, wait a second! It might not be safe! We need to—!” Tubbo tried to stop her, but in the process of the two of them heading in different directions and grabbing at each other, they ended up toppling over and falling to the floor with loud shouts of surprise. As soon as Tubbo realized he was on top of her, he quickly tried to scramble away as an uncomfortable blush settled across his face and down his neck. He got up to his hands and knees as quickly as he could, panicked as Aimee stared back up at him with a strange look on her face. “Shit, I'm really sorry... Are you okay?”
“I'm just fine.” Aimee seemed all too comfortable where she landed, biting a little at her bottom lip—much to Tubbo’s confusion.
“U—Um… please don't think I meant to do that, or anything like that. I— I really didn't mean to—” Tubbo rambled on in an attempt to apologize, but she just shook her head lightly and blinked slowly up at him with a coy smile.
“Never mind that. What say we have a little chat?”
“...huh…?” Tubbo wanted to get as far away from her as he possibly could, but stayed rooted to the spot as his brain tried to follow her off-putting offer.
“Don't you like me… Toby…?” Aimee’s voice seemed to change pitch suddenly, becoming deeper as her eyes bore holes straight up into him. He felt himself flinch, opening his mouth to shut her down only to notice the first drops of blood forming in the corners of her eyes.
Any words he had to say died in his throat as tear tracks of blood ran down her face, more blood beading out of her nose and dripping over her lips, a sense of horror washing over him as he came to the conclusion that something was very, very wrong. “Wh—Who… are you?”
“Who do you think I am, Toby?” Despite the blood now pouring out of her mouth, her words weren’t garbled at all, Tubbo shaking his head as the horror gave way to dread in the pit of his stomach.
“S—Stop that…!” He demanded in a panic, trying to find a graceful way back to his feet before adding on, “And don’t call me that!”
Tubbo then went to push himself up off of the floor with his hands, only for Aimee to tightly grab both of his wrists to keep him down on top of her.
“L—Let me go! How do you know about me? About Tommy?!”
Whoever this was—she most certainly wasn’t Aimee, at least not anymore—only giggled, a swirling panic beginning in his stomach as he tried to pull away from her. Her grip was unnaturally strong as it bruised his wrists, no amount of yanking able to break the grip for several long moments until a particularly hard tug got one of his hands free, his arm then swinging wide and smacking one of the girl’s bloodstained cheeks.
“Oww! How dare you raise your hand to a girl… Toby…” Her voice distorted as she giggled again, thick trails of blood starting to leak out of every available orifice of her face: eyes, nose, ears, and even more from her mouth. The skin of Aimee’s face began to peel back like burning paper, curling away from the waterfalls of crimson and flaking off in disgusting, bloody patches. A new, blue tinted face was emerging from underneath the peeling, flayed skin—it was young, child-like, and covered in slimy guts and more blood. Whatever was left of Aimee disintegrated to the sides as the rest of the young girl’s figure emerged, though half-submerged in the floorboards. Long, dark hair framed the sides of her face, a long red dress covering her body that began to shimmer in the low light of the hallway to make her seem to glow as she grinned up at Tubbo, his mind finally catching up with the carnage surrounding him as the rank smell of death started wafting up from the piled remains and ever growing lake of blood around him. The girl still held onto him, him swallowing back vomit as the two stared at each other, waiting for someone to make a move.
“You… were you always… her?” Tubbo stumbled out, anger boiling up fast as he exploded, “You fucking bitch! What the hell did you do to Tommy?!"
“Now what did I do to him? Hmm. I remember he wouldn't shut up. He kept calling for you, you know. Over and over… just like a bird.” The girl mused, giggling to herself as Tubbo tried to keep his mounting rage under control. “But he's not chirping anymore! Wanna see for yourself?”
“No… no! No, that's not true! You're lying!” The only thing keeping Tubbo from completely swinging on this ghost again was her tight grip on his arms, the twinges of pain barely enough to keep him grounded as his mind swirled to keep up.
“I've been watching you, you know. I like you. You've got promise.” The girl grinned, still present blood leaking out from between her lips and staining her teeth. “People like you do show up from time to time. Freaks of nature who have a real affinity for this place.”
“What the fuck are you going on about?” Tubbo tried pulling away from the girl again—harder this time—to no avail. “What… What the hell are you planning to do with me?!”
“Aw, are you scared?” Her giggle was light and completely unnerving, her vice grip slowly inching up his arms as she pulled him closer and closer to her face. “That's understandable. But the thing is, I get you! You're not afraid of people dying. You're afraid of you dying.”
“Shut up, you bitch! And let—let go! I… I—!” Tubbo still continued to struggle in the grip, desperately trying to ignore the way the girl’s breath smelled of a rot and decay that even the viscera around them couldn't match.
“Sure. I'll let you go. And when I do, I want you to walk over to that door. Let the school guide your way.” She shrugged lightly, her eyes lighting up as Tubbo felt his stomach twist with a fresh burst of nausea as she nodded with her head towards a nearby classroom. “It's where you'll find the person you've been looking for all this time.”
A voice then quietly floated through the air, the tone a familiar whisper that sounded from all around. “Toby… don't look at me… not the way I am now…”
“Ahh… Tommy…?” Tubbo froze at the sound of his friend’s voice, a shock of freezing panic shooting through him at the way the girl grinned at his startled expression.
“I'm looking forward… to your reaction…” In an instant the girl let go, her blue-tinted form slowly sinking into the floor boards as she added, “But if it's boring… I'll kill you.”
As quickly as she appeared, she was gone again, leaving behind nothing but the tattered remains of Aimee’s clothes and the horrific face mask made of his blood-soaked skin.
The smell alone was enough to rocket Tubbo to his feet, entirely distrustful of the ghost but unable to stop his own burning curiosity and panic for Tommy from guiding his feet to the nearby classroom that the girl had motioned to, sliding the door open and stepping inside.
This can’t be happening… this can’t be fucking happening…
He ran through hall after hall of dilapidated school, his feet carrying him forward even as he wasn’t quite sure where he was going—he just felt a pull that gently tugged him along.
Just hold on a little longer for me, okay Tommy? I’m coming!
Finding Tommy’s body was even worse than he could’ve imagined.
He’d been pulverized to shreds on a wall, the only identifying feature being shreds of the red and white shirt Tommy had been wearing that day and an odd certainty that this was what the school and the ghost girl wanted him to see. The large splatter of blood on the wall was tacky to the touch, nearly completely dried as Tubbo ran a hand around the outline in order to not look at the pile of shapeless skin and organs at the bottom of the wall.
“Oh god, fuck… No, I… Tommy…?” He mumbled as hot tears sprung to his eyes, dropping to his knees as an overwhelming rage bloomed deep in his stomach. Clutching at his own arms so hard pinpricks of blood started appearing across his skin, Tubbo didn’t notice the darkened sheen slowly overtaking his vision as he carefully stood back to his feet. “Whoever did this… and this whole damn place… are going to burn.”
So absorbed in loudly vowing his violent revenge, he didn’t notice the blue ghost girl appear in the air behind him, ecstatic.
“How interesting.” She cooed, deciding to help him along by snagging a pair of heavy shears from the infirmary and dropping them near his feet. In the same instant that he spotted the rusty metal glinting beside his blood-soaked sneakers, she vanished into the darkness surrounding them. Tubbo bent down to pick them up, his eyes fully glossing over as his vision dissolved to darkness and a wicked grin spread across his face.
“Perfect.”
Ranboo and Bill were objectively having a bad time.
The only upside was that they hadn’t lost each other yet, but they hadn’t come across any of their friends after losing Tommy to the ghosts in the infirmary, and it was quickly sapping their will to continue searching for a way out of the school.
The two were ready to give up by the time Ranboo spotted the familiar head of brunet hair at the end of the hallway, smacking at Bill’s arm to get his attention as he raised a hand to try and help their friend spot them. “Tubbo? Oh my god, Tubbo!”
“We've been looking all over for you, mate!” Bill grinned wide in relief, running forward at the same time as Ranboo. “What happened? You alright?” His grin faltered at the same time as his steps, Ranboo also slowing down as they noticed the way Tubbo hadn’t looked up at them even once, leaning heavily on one leg and clutching something tightly in both of his hands. “Uh… Dude?”
“Something’s wrong…” Ranboo said breathlessly, putting an arm out to keep Bill from getting any closer to Tubbo and experimentally calling, “Tubbo, can you hear me?”
“Uh… Tubbo?” Bill tried next after a long stretch of silence, him and Ranboo turning matching confused expressions to each other. “Big man Tubs?”
“...Tubbo?” Ranboo slid a half step back as Tubbo’s head tilted to the side and he raised one arm, revealing the sharp pair of scissors he was holding. “What? No, wait—!”
In an instant Tubbo lunged forward, Ranboo barely able to grab Tubbo’s arm with both hands to try and wrestle the scissors away from his face. Tumbling backwards and landing on the ground, Ranboo stared up in horror at his friend’s completely empty and glazed over eyes, struggling to push the smaller—yet much stronger—boy off of him.
“What the fuck, man?!” Bill called out, getting behind Tubbo and grabbing him around the middle to help Ranboo get him off.
“Something’s wrong with his eyes!” Ranboo shouted as the two managed to push Tubbo back enough for him to scramble to his feet, panting for breath as Bill held him tightly from the back.
“How's about we get those scissors away from him first, yeah? And worry about the possession later?!” Bill suggested, Ranboo ducking back as Tubbo swung the scissors for his head and missed by only a few inches.
“I'm trying!” Ranboo complained, managing to pin Tubbo’s flailing arm with the scissors to his side with a loud grunt of effort. “Give me a hand, dude!”
“So needy!” Bill teased as he let go of Tubbo with one hand and forced his hand open to drop the scissors to the floor, kicking them away and down the hallway as they both let go of their friend. “Okay, got it! All clear.”
Tubbo was still for only a moment, Ranboo noticing a moment before his friend that Tubbo was launching himself forward at Bill. “Bill, look out—!”
“WHAT THE FUCK?!” Bill screamed as Tubbo slammed into him, the two saved from falling over only by the nearby wall that kept them upright. “He's so determined! I honestly respect him for that!”
“Tubbo, what happened?!” Ignoring Bill’s snark, Ranboo grabbed Tubbo and pulled him back to demand, “Whatever it is, you need to snap out of it before you kill us!”
Tubbo’s struggles slowed, the sheen over his eyes fading as Ranboo and Bill held him down. He eventually stopped entirely, blinking confusedly at his friends above him. “Ran…boo? Bill? Is that… you?”
“Yup.” Ranboo nodded, letting go of Tubbo with a sigh of relief.
“That's us.” Bill grinned, also letting go.
“What was I…?” Tubbo reached a hand up to his head, wincing, before looking up in with a panicked, “Oh, fuck, I—!”
“It's okay, Tubbo. Breathe.” Ranboo instantly reached out, grabbing his friend’s shoulders and squeezing gently. “Can you tell us what happened?”
“It’s—! I… I found Tommy.” Tubbo admitted, Bill and Ranboo instantly stilling in fear. “He was… god, I shouldn’t have even been able to recognize him, it was just so much blood and—!”
“Yeah, we—” Bill started to admit, but was cut off by an unreadable look from Ranboo.
“—Are so sorry you had to see that.” He continued instead, making sure Bill understood to drop the subject—the fact they’d been with Tommy when he’d died. “Whatever happened to Tommy is no one’s fault, okay?”
“But I should’ve found him, or… something. Anything.” Tubbo lamented angrily, wiping at slightly teary eyes with a closed fist.
“Yeah, cause that would’ve been super easy.” Bill scoffed, crossing his arms and looking away to keep from meeting anyone’s eyes. “Not like this place is a damn maze or anything.”
“This place is keeping us from each other. I know it sucks, but… there was nothing you could do. Nothing any of us could do.” Ranboo soothed as best he could, before spotting a nearby classroom and motioning for the other two to follow him over there. “Let’s go find somewhere to sit down and take a rest, okay?”
“...okay.” Tubbo agreed quietly, his head swirling with anger and grief that was only kept at bay by the close presence of his friends. He followed the two in silence, grinding his teeth together to keep himself from crying until he either had a moment alone, or at least after they’d settled down to rest.
#corpse party#corpse party au#fanfiction#fanfic#cross posted on ao3#writing#whump#ranboolive#ranboo#ranboo fanfic#angst#tubbo whump#tubbo and ranboo#tubbo mcyt#tubbo fanfic#tubbo#billzo#aimsey#aimseytv
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Hellsite Nostalgia Tour 2023 Day 272
Somewhere Between Heaven and Hell/Smile
“Somewhere Between Heaven and Hell”
Plot Description: The Winchesters must unravel a complicated case of a demonic deal one wrong when an invisible hellhound claims a soul at a campsite
Would I Survive the First Five Minutes??: yes because I wouldn’t be camping. Too many people on supernatural die while camping for me to ever go
Aw man, they were (maybe) gonna get engaged
Deeeeeean being interested and still grossed out in how many monster parts are…all over him
Why is Sam’s……….Sam named his monster hunting algorithm Frodo. That’s so unbelievably cute. Sam has a Frodo he takes along to defeat evil 🥹
What….what is Cas even investigating?? I forgot that this came out before last year for a second and I really thought this guy believed the queen was killed by aliens and not that she was one
I hate this restaurant owner. Even Castiel can see through his bullshit
Unfortunately, there IS something, but it’s not aliens, it’s angels and demons
Literally though, I am ON Crowley’s side but in the way I’m terrified for him. He’s been so much about self preservation this WHOLE TIME, why would you fuck up and do to Lucifer what he did to you?? Are you out of your goddamn mind?? He is AWFULLY sure of himself and i don’t think he should be
Has he been spending ALL his time taunting Lucifer instead of his Hell responsibilities??
I get so tickled when normal ass people get dragged into conversations they shouldn’t around the Winchesters. This woman doesn’t NEED to know the whole backstory of the hellhound that tried to kill her straight from Crowley’s mouth, but she’s getting it and she’s taking it surprisingly well
Omg did these demons double cross Crowley and purposely let out the hellhound that’s only loyal to Lucifer?? It’s really that simple? Look, I love Crowley as a character but the simplicity of Lucifer’s plans is so fucking good
Ok nope, they did this on their own (probably…maybe?). They planned all that out of loyalty to Lucifer, but Lucifer had nothing to do with it (maybe). Crowley really needs to get his house in order
Do you really WANT to be back under Heaven’s thumb, Cas?? You know better…you know who your family is.
Lucifer is gonna kill these demons IMMEDIATELY after getting freed. He doesn’t have the bureaucratic heart Crowley does….he doesn’t care about the deal he just made. HE’S THE ACTUAL FUCKING DEVIL FROM THE BIBLE
I get it, girl. I, too, would like to give Crowley a hug. He’s gonna need it
Sorry not sorry for loving characters that sit like this, especially on a throne
Oh holy shit. How…how did Crowley turn off Lucifer’s ARCHANGEL POWERS?!?! How’s he absolutely kicking Lucifer’s entire ass? I’m not attracted to Crowley but this is doing something for me. So much for Crowley getting soft over the years
I know that name from Good Omens! Dagon was not as powerful in that…
Castiel. I can’t believe you’re going back to heaven…
SAMUEL I-DONT-KNOW-YOUR-MIDDLE-NAME WINCHESTER!!! I don’t know how I didn’t see it. I’m feeling a little dumb that I got fooled. To be fair, there was a lot that went on between when I watched yesterday’s episode and now. Of course “Frodo” is actually the BMoL. I’m so mad at him and me
Oh Dean. Dean. Deeeeeeeeean…you shouldn’t have had to find out this way. More people need to be honest with him forever and always. How can you look at his betrayed face and ever want to see that again??
He’s taking it way better than I expected. Is it practice? From feeling betrayed so often? And so recently? He’s still hurt though….
"Smile"
Plot Description: The Doctor takes Bill to a spectacular city--but where are the colonists?
Ahaha! I've wised up since last time! Now, WHY does my tv like to occasionally not show the video and only give me the audio? I don't know, but at least now I know better than to think they're gonna serve me up a blank screen for ten minutes.
As a mode of transportation, the TARDIS is a funny thing. It CAN take you anywhere, but hearing that you don't steer it, you negotiate with it...maybe I've been a driver too long. Even though driving is basically second nature, hearing about having to actually negotiate with your mode of transportation....like....we haven't had to do that since horses.
Why...why is the Doctor not supposed to go off-world? Like, I'm glad we're finally finding a balance between the Moffat- and RTD-esque seasons, but I do want to know now, please and thank you. Also, why doesn't Nardole like Bill?? Bill's great!!!!
Oh...I don't like this place they're going. It is literal toxic positivity central. If you get too sad you get basically vaporized??? Boooooo
Oh good, the explanation (so far) is he did a thing, something happened, he made an oath to not leave Earth. Thanks, Doctor.
I know there's a difference between hieroglyphs and memes and emojis when it comes to communication, but i do love that a form of picture communication has survived millions of years onto humanity's first colony. Did it have to be emojis though?
Omg, the little emoji badge the Doctor has and it's puzzled face is adorable. However...the reasoning behind it is less cute. Oh, when he said skeleton crew...he...he meant the crew sent here to set everything up has been turned to skeletons
I doubt you'll be safe outside of the city precisely because you said you would be. However, in the TARDIS seems pretty safe.
It's so funny that this "have to appear happy" story was given to Twelve. The only one who could possibly also have such a funny time doing this is Nine. Ten and Eleven could appear genuinely happy at any moment if they needed. Twelve needs to convince these robots, and he still doesn't SOUND happy
Billllllll, don't let the TARDIS hear you call this a proper spaceshippp please. I like you too much
Actually, Bill, I'm so sorry I said that to you. This is like a Star Wars spaceship...the interior makes no sense and OSHA would have a FIT if they could see the lack of railings on these bridges. You were right
Someone, anyone, George Lucas, explain to me why very important technology is always kept in the middle of four walkways over the gaping maw you’re generously calling a room and there are no railings, pleasenowtellmeyes?
Coolcoolcool. All the work the Doctor did just now is for nought and he may have egregiously fucked up…I KNOW they’ll save humanity, they always do, but HOW? Yeah. So he was TRYING to blow up this whole city…….until the people who were cryogenically frozen started waking up.
Oh. Fun. I mean, it does make a certain amount of sense that these robots would start to learn and expand their knowledge, wrong as it may be, that grief is the enemy of happiness and that to eradicate anything that doesn’t bring happiness, you actually have to kill the very people you’re there to help keep alive…which just causes more and more grief. Yikes
Don’t vaporize the kidddddddddddddd. Please don’t do that
Ok ok ok. You hit the reset button, you turned it off and turned it on again, you wiped the robots’ memories, but did you disable the function that allowed them to do what they did? Did you keep them from killing everyone again somewhere down the line??
What a weird solution. Like, sure, the Vardi (spelling optional) became sentient and are therefore pseudo-indigenous to this planet (brought here not sentient, gained sentience while here), but to then make them basically the humans’ landlords and potentially force the human race to only exhibit ‘positive’ emotions for the rest of their time on this planet is A WEIRD SOLUTION, DOCTOR
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okay. OKAY SO.
major nerdy prudes spoilers!! look away now!! seriously guys I’m gonna talk about like,, everything so YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED THIS SHOW IS SO GOOD YOU DO NOT WANT IT SPOILED FOR YOU TRUST ME
basically I’m just gonna go through each point in order and talk about whether or not they happened and how I feel about it. LET’S GO
IT HAPPENED IT HAPPENED IT REALLY HAPPENED ALL I DO IS WIN. gOD I love them so much. still don’t understand why emma just…. screamed like that?? like?? idk I didn’t think that was very funny and also the wig was kinda wack but YOU KNOW WHAT. PAUL IS ON THE NEIGHBOURHOOD WATCH OK AND THEY WERE FLIRTING AND THAT IS WHAT MATTERS
no ted unfortunately but he was mentioned a couple times and they referenced “SHUT THE FUCK UP PAUL” a LOT of times for some reason. when they said pete looked like the homeless guy I cried a little bit (a lot)
almost!! honestly I truly don’t mind that they didn’t kiss, I feel like their relationship was super rushed and kinda OTT anyway. they were still INSANELY cute, but I liked their dynamic in abstinence camp a lot better. nothing to do with any bias over nick or joey btw, just with now they were written
honestly I am really sad they didn’t show up. YALL HAD AN OPPORTUNITY AND YOU JUST DECIDED NOT TO TAKE IT. but, I did find it fun to piece together though, because there actually is a legitimate reason why shes not in it - lauter said he got the book 15 years ago - which would mean around the time hannah was born, which is probably around the time miss holloway fought wilbur cross (because im pretty sure that’s the time when the timelines split). so npmd is set in a timeline where miss holloway was killed, otherwise the book would be hers and she would be the one to help the kids with the lords in black
YES. JUST YES. AN ABSOLUTE UNHINGED DERANGED CRAZY BITCH WHO I LOVE
oh well never mind. bisexual ruth was an icon though!!!
no bill and alice. that one was a bit of a stretch though tbf
oddly enough, no. I really thought.
THERE WAS NO PEIP. NONE. ACTUALLY SHOCKED AND APPAULED
also no!! really wish it had been tbh, because as I said before steph and pete’s relationship was sO rushed - ik nmt had more time to establish their dynamic but man it was so much more fleshed out
none of my theories were right. literally none. I LOVE the actual show but honestly some of my ideas went HARD, thinking of writing them as fics or maybe even adapting them into my own original stories at some point because the whole watcher world thing was a whole slay like I had full on dramatic monologues and musical numbers for that kicking about in my head
WE MAY HAVE LOST THE BATTLE BUT WE WILL WIN THE WAR
I’ve already posted about my big theories for nerdy prudes, but I just wanted to get my personal hopes and mini predictions down in a neat little list before I finally see the digital ticket on Tuesday! I will reblog this with a completed checklist once I’ve seen it (obviously with spoilers tagged) CANT WAIT!!
so, in no particular order:
paul and emma cameo. I think paul is confirmed based on this one post I saw but the photo was very blurry so it could be someone else… still both lauren and jon are in the show, they had a cameo in black friday - I just think they deserve to be together and happy in every universe until they inevitably die or break up horribly and I would squee so hard if they really showed up
ted cameo where he immediately dies. because come on. you can’t not do it you just can’t
stephski kiss. I just think they’re neat
HOLLODUKE APPEARANCE. HOLLODUKE APPEARANCE HOLLODUKE APPEARANCE HOLLODUKE APPEARANCE HOLLODUKE APPEARANCE HOLLOD
the book they get the ritual from is the black book which is how miss holloway (as the student counsellor miss holiday) ties in.
grace gets a solo song and also a lethal weapon.
grace canonically has a crush on steph. idk I’m very happy with the “we’re besties” “I hate you and want you dead” dynamic but also “I’m madly in love with you and obsessed with you and also a repressed christian teenager” “I hate you and want you dead and also have a boyfriend” has potential
bill and alice cameo. corey and mariah have played father and daughter twice and I think they could get some quality jokes out of that even if just for one scene
the apocalypse happens and everyone dies just like in the other two musicals - otherwise I think it would pretty much just feel like a nightmare time episode scaled up to 10 which doesn’t sound bad, just not what fans are looking for in a full fledged hatchetfield musical
detective shapiro will be an undercover peip agent or at least connected to them in some way
it’s set in the same universe as abstinence camp (therefore ted is alive, grace steph and pete have established dynamics with each other, they know about weird shit in hatchetfield, etc)
my theories end up being correct. or at least blinky is the major villain and the murderer is being controlled by him and “larry” is an important character
HERE IS HOW GENERAL MACNAMARA CAN STILL WIN-
#nerdy prudes must die#npmd#npmd spoilers#nerdy prudes must die spoilers#starkid#team starkid#starkid productions#hatchetfield#hatchetverse#hatchetfield universe#stephanie lauter#pete spankoffski#grace chastity#stephski#miss holloway#duke keane#douglas duke keane#holloduke#general john macnamara
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HD Groundhog day fic recs
Sometime fun this week! A few drarry Groundhog day fic recs. Listed in alphabetical order.
Boats, but Not the Ocean by @p1013 [15k]
If Draco ever gets his hands on this Bill Murray character, he’s going to kill him. — The Groundhog Day fic no one asked for but I wrote anyway.
Cut From the Sky by @mallstars [150k]
"I'm stuck in a time loop, reliving November 2nd. This is the 111th time I've lived through today."
Draco stilled. His moody eyes, the tension in his hands where he gripped onto his umbrella, the careful mask of blankness flickering over his face — everything about him was so difficult and so very dear to Harry.
"Ah," said Draco, "and?"
The Inconvenient Death(s) of Harry Potter by @nv-md [33k]
Harry and Draco have spent the decade since the War avoiding each other, even as they’re forced to work together at the Ministry and their friend groups begin to alarmingly overlap. But what happens when Harry meets a tragic end (in a manner of speaking) and Draco’s the only one who can save him?
Or Harry won’t stop dying, Draco’s had too much coffee, and there’s more than enough time for them to make a mess of each other’s lives.
It’s No Great Mystery by @agentmoppet [57k]
Who on earth decided that bringing back the Yule Ball for their eighth year would be a good idea? It feels like the worst day of Harry’s life, watching everyone get glammed up like the war never happened, like the last Triwizard Tournament wasn’t such a colossal failure.
And then it happens again. And again. And again.
Palm Springs by KittyCargo [20k]
Harry collapsed into the chair next to him. “What is happening?”
“One of those infinite time loop situations.”
“What?!”
“You know. Yesterday is today. Today is today, tomorrow is today.”
“But how do I stop it? I don’t want tomorrow to be today. I want tomorrow to be tomorrow!”
“Yeah, that’s understandable.” Malfoy said calmly. “Do you like tacos?”
Tea and No Sympathy by who_la_hoop [70k]
It’s Potter’s fault, of course, that Draco finds himself trapped in the same twenty-four-hour period, repeating itself over and over again. It’s been nearly a year since the unpleasant business at Hogwarts, and Draco’s getting on with his life quite nicely, thank you, until Harry sodding Potter steps in and ruins it all, just like always. At first, though, the time loop seems liberating. For the first time in his life, he can do anything, say anything, be anything, without consequence. But the more Draco repeats the day, the more he realises the uncomfortable truth: he’s falling head over heels for the speccy git. And suddenly, the time loop feels like a trap. For how can he ever get Harry to love him back when time is, quite literally, against him?
Time and Again by @manixzen [68k]
Harry's absolutely sure it's Malfoy's fault that they are stuck reliving the same day over and over.
Harry is good at his job. He's professional, has an excellent closure rate, and is a well-respected Auror. Malfoy's the unprofessional one with his snark and his judgemental eyebrows and his far too-posh-for-work robes. If Malfoy could have managed to refrain from being a pain in the arse, everything would have been just fine. They wouldn’t have gotten in yet another argument, Harry wouldn’t have been distracted, and Harry certainly wouldn’t have accidentally set off a powerful artifact at their crime scene.
And if Malfoy would just get out of his way now, Harry's sure he can quickly fix this so they can get back to their comfortable professional dislike of one another.
Us, infinite (unfortunately) by @thecouchsofa [77k]
It’s very fitting for how Harry’s life has gone thus far that he gets trapped in a time loop without rhyme, reason, or warning.
To make matters infinitely worse, the one other person stuck on the same hellish chronological ride is Draco Malfoy, git extraordinaire.
I hope you enjoy these stories as much as I did!
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House Hunting Part 20
Summary: Derek tries to explain his way out of this.
Pairing: Castle!Reader x Billy Russo
Words: 1.6k
Warnings: Canon typical Violence, Age gap, kisses, guns, knives 18+ Only No Fucking Minors!
An: I'm back! I had a great time at the beach and am here to cause chaos again. Please don't blame me for Dereks Actions
Part 19
“Take a seat Derek,” Billy said, not moving his eyes from you. Your eyes narrowed as you glared daggers into Derek, soon enough you would plunge a real one into him. That motherfucker. “You gunna be calm baby?” He asked you, stroking gently along the side of your face.
“For now,” you agreed through gritted teeth. Deciding to sit on your hands to keep yourself under control and not disappoint Billy. He needed you to be good right now and you were going to try your best.
“Go on then,” Billy said, taking the seat next to you. He sat his elbows on his knees, while he watched Derek take the seat Frank had previously occupied, “Explain yourself,”
“Explain what?” Derek said incredulously, like he was the innocent party in all this.
“Are you working for Rawlins?” Billy asked him, his eyes scanning over Derek's face looking for lies. You began shuffling on your hands, you wanted to hit him again. How dare he just say that like he had no fucking idea what he had done.
“Are you fucking serious? Rawlins?” Derek stood, throwing his hands in the air, “I’m the idiot trying to help you get away from that asshole,” he started to pace, shooting you angry glances. When he stopped his hands gripping tightly into the back of your armchair, like he was trying to contain himself almost as much as you were.
“Not Rawlins then. So why?” Billy asked, his voice even and calculated his eyes fixed on Derek. He appeared as if he might be a moment away from snapping. Billy gripped the knife that he had hidden in between the couch cushions, he had thought he could trust Derek, but he wasn’t going to risk anyone hurting you ever again.
“He’s lying,” you said, shrugging your shoulders. Your hands twitching under your ass and you began to shift until you felt Billy’s reassuring hand on your thigh. Derek’s eyes flicked at the movement, narrowing at Billy’s hand.
“He’s not lying,” Billy confirmed, his fingers gently digging into your thigh, silently urging you to hold it together a bit longer, “Go on then. Explain it to me Derek, Explain how you narc’d on me and nearly got me killed,” Billy stood, noticing the way Derek was looking at you. He knew he needed to get his body in between you and Derek. The way Billy glared at Derek was like a warning, a wolf protecting his mate. He said nothing as he stared at the other man down. You watched as Derek’s blood began to boil, his face turning red with frustration when Billy refused to turn away.
“You don’t get it, man,” Derek growled, rolling his eyes as he raised his fist, but must have thought better of it when he slammed it through your mantle piece, shattering the wood underneath.
“That the way you want it?” Billy asked, “You narc on me and don’t even get me started on the fuckin’ way you’ve been looking at her since you got here,” he began to approach Derek, making sure to keep you behind him.
“Are you fucking serious?” Derek shouted, throwing his fist into the wall. Your eyes fixed as he didn't even seem to be phased by the drywall now lodged in his knuckles, “You’re not getting it, Bill,”
“Getting what?” Billy asked, sounding more annoyed by the second, that Derek was avoiding his questions.
“Her?” He shouted, throwing his hands and pointing at you, “Are your fucking blind Bill? She's ruining your life,”
“What?!” You both shouted at the same time, your hands flying out from underneath you and you launched yourself forward. Unfortunately, Billy is faster than you thought and apparently knows you too well. He spun, catching you by the shoulders and sitting you back on the couch with a stern look to stay put. You smirk to yourself when he turns around, and you can feel the anger radiating from his pores. His fists bundled behind his back as he tried to restrain himself from hitting the man. “She is my life,” he spat at Derek and you sent a smug smile to Derek.
“Bill, ever since this little slut-” he was cut off by Billy's hard fist in his face, the clash echoing through the room.
“How fuckin’ dare you call her that,” Billy shouted, throwing another fist into Derek's stomach, “You want to try that again?” Billy said, raising his fist at the man.
“How can you not see it?” Derek asked, standing up and rubbing over his jaw, “You’ve been distracted ever since she moved to the city,” He started pacing around again, “the company has been losing money. Jobs aren't being assigned properly, you took 3 weeks of my time, of your fucking time.” he sighed, “Jesus fuck Bill. All of this after you tell me you wanted out?” he leans against the wall, his head resting on his forearm, “Leave all this behind? Leave me behind to clean up your fuckin mess that you where to horny to do yourself? All for a piece of ass,” he scowled at you.
“A piece of ass,” you spat, taking the knife from beside the cushion, jumping up and lunging at Derek. You attempted to weave your way around Billy, but his hand shot out, catching your knife wielding one. He took the knife, spinning it in his hand before shooting Derek a look and turning it on you.
“Be a good girl and sit down,” his voice hushed, he handed you the knife, “You going to be good?”
“Sorry,” you said, staring down at your toes, nodding silently.
“It’s ok, just sit down, little girl. Try to keep it in for now,” he smiled at you, kissing your forehead before turning back on Derek.
“I love her,” Billy said, spinning and hitting Derek in the stomach again, “you wouldn't understand,” this time Derek hit back, knocking Billy in the face causing one of his wounds to reopen. But he only got one hit in before Billy had his hands wrapped around his back and Derek was pinned to the floor.
“No you don’t, Bill. I know you, you love the chase, love the kill and that's it. You’re going to get bored of her and then what? You'll have nothing left. I thought you'd see it at the club when she was dancing with that idiot or get annoyed with her after being locked in for weeks on end,” Derek admitted, pushing Billy off him. Billy didn’t loosen his grip though, bringing him up and holding him still so he couldn’t hit him again.
“Why tell Frank?” he shouted into his ear, pulling a little tighter on Derek's arm causing him to wince.
“I figured that would be the one complication you couldn't brush off, Franks has been your brother a lot longer than she's been your little bitch,” Derek spat in your direction.
You'd heard enough, Billy might be deadly but you could be fast, especially when he's distracted by his interrogation. Taking a quick glace at the men, before your arm reached out, taking the gun from the table and aiming it at Derek. The bang is louder than you remembered, your eyes shutting when you hear the bullet land. Winking your eye open you hoped you managed to hit Derek and not Billy. Shit! You only managed to graze Derek's shoulder. At least you didn’t hit Billy, he released Derek, throwing the man on the floor. Then his hardened gazed turned to you, his steps careful as he approached. In a second or a lifetime he was upon you yanking the gun from your hands and pocketing it, shaking his head at you and you knew you were in trouble. Whoops.
“I told you to be a good girl and that means don’t kill him,” he chided you, taking a deep breath and closing his eyes, "You're going to pay for that later,"
“Why?” You glared back at him, “this motherfucker had the audacity to and you couldn't-”
“We need him,”
“Are you fucking serious?” Derek and you both said a the same time,
“You want me to kill you?” Billy turned, pointing the gun at Derek, “coz I will?”
“FUckin hell, I've heard enough of this,” you said storming off and slamming the bedroom door behind you. If you had to stay in a room with that fucking asshole for a minute longer you were going to shoot him again and this time you wouldn't miss. Instead you picked up the phone and called the person you had been dying to speak to since your dad left. Erica.
“Hey babe's, what's up? You safe?” She said, picking up after only 2 rings, “The boss man?”
“No,” you began to sob as the emotional weight of the day came crashing down around you, “could you-”
“Yeah, give me a minute and I'll be there, you in your room?”
“Yep,” was all you said flinging yourself onto the bed, You sobbed and sobbed until your pillow was drenched. You had thought that clearing things up with Frank would be relieving, but to find out that Derek had told on you to your father hurt more than you thought it would. You had trusted him, Billy had trusted him and you were no closer to finding out what was going on with Rawlins. You could hear a commotion coming from behind the door and knew that Erica had finally arrived.
Part 21
Taglist:
@fictional-hooman
@profoundme444 @musicalggirl @spear-bearing-bi-witch @nikki-sixx-is-daddy @mrs-billyrussooo @pedropascalfanclub @blackbirddaredevil23 @eginv-blog @skyfallingstartaylorsversion @emmamooney
#house hunting#billy russo fanfic#female!reader x billy russo#billy russo x you#reader x billy russo#the punisher fanfic#billy russo x female reader#billy russo x reader#billy russo
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Expensive - Part Deux
Twice Mina x Male Reader
smut, oral, anal, richgirl!mina
4941 words
masterlist
“Here you are, ma’am. Please enjoy your meal.”
Myoui Mina thanked the waiter while flashing her signature gummy smile, reaching for the newly opened bottle of ketchup placed in front of her. She shook the bottle a few times, drawing a smiley face on her over-easy eggs and cutely giggling to herself before taking a bite.
“Delicious,” Mina said, taking a strip of bacon elegantly eating it. She took a sip of strawberry milk, using a napkin to wipe her mouth afterwards. Even in such a quaint and simple diner, Mina stayed prim and proper to the very end. It was quite the juxtaposition, the blonde Japanese girl being dressed to the nines in a restaurant where sweat pants and a t-shirt was the unspoken dress code.
Mina had traveled the world, dined in several countries and expensive Michelin star restaurants, sampling various cuisines in several different continents but there was a time where a girl just needed bacon and eggs to start the day, especially when you were lucky enough to be accompanying her to breakfast.
Your plates had been cleaned off, your stomachs filled and appetites satisfied. The only thing left was what Mina had planned for the day, and you were willing and able to obey whatever needs she needed fulfilled.
“Where to?” you asked, finishing your own glass of cold milk as Mina took her black card from the waiter, replacing it with a crisp one hundred dollar bill and signing the receipt with the prettiest signature. Mina never allowed you to pick up the check when you were in her presence, insisting on you never spending a dime. You stopped arguing after the first few times she had done this, it was one of the few things you learned she wasn’t going to budge from and you weren’t going to complain about a free meal.
“You’ll be accompanying me to several places this morning, I have to prepare for a gala this weekend and need new outfits.”
“Sounds fun.”
“You’ll be trying on clothes too, I can’t have you looking like a slob next to me.”
✦✦
The way your back was pressed against the inside of the dressing room door meant you were doing anything but trying on clothes.
“We’ll be out until midnight at the earliest, so there won’t be anytime to play with you later,” Mina said with one hand pumping your leaking cock. Several potential outfits were hung out on the wall, but Mina had taken your pants and boxers off down to your knees as soon as the door had shut.
“Look at me when I’m jerking you off.”
Mina’s tone was cold as the small hand slowly stroked your cock. Her free hand had cupped the side of your face and demanded your attention as she squeezed every bit of pleasure out with her delicate slow strokes.
“I could make you cum in ten seconds if I wanted to,” Mina said, squeezing your throbbing shaft harder with every pump of her slender fingers and running a thumb over your swollen tip.
Your breath hitched at her touch as she gave your balls a firm squeeze, running a finger alongside your shaft from base to tip and rubbing the underside of your leaking cockhead.
“Let’s make it interesting. If you can make it to thirty seconds you can fuck me against that mirror.”
“Ready?” Mina asked, her ice cold gaze staring into your soul as she bit her lip and gave one long stroke from base to tip, making sure to twirl her hand around every inch of your shaft. You took a deep breath and nodded nervously.
The painfully slow pace she had been using up until now dramatically changed as Mina gripped your cock harshly, picking up speed with every stroke.
“Twenty six...twenty five…”
“You already know how loud I get in the bedroom. You’ll have to cover my mouth to keep me from moaning your name while this nice dick is inside me,” Mina said, keeping her eyes tightly focused on your own as you moaned.
“Seventeen...sixteen…”
“You’re doing well. Do you want to fuck me that badly? Do you want to fill my tight little pussy with this throbbing cock?”
It was bad enough you were forced to look into Mina’s lustful bedroom eyes while she jerked you off in the dressing room, counting down with that sweet voice dripping with honey whispering in your ear at the same time.
“Nine...eight...six…”
“Almost there. I can’t wait for you to make me cum on this cock.”
You gritted your teeth and dug your toes into your shoes, trying to desperately find any sort of outlet for the pleasure shooting through your veins. Mina blew hot air into your ear after every five numbers. You couldn’t make it much longer, trying to think of anything but the sexually charged Japanese woman stroking your shaft.
“Bet you’re just dying for me to walk out of here with your hot cum dripping down my thighs...”
Mina went for the killing blow as she furiously pumped your cock, using her other hand to play with and massage your full swollen balls.
“Four...three...two…”
The end was in sight in more ways than one. You tried everything in your power to hold back, but as soon as Mina’s luscious lips said the word, you grunted and erupted uncontrollably, thick spurts of milky white semen firing out of your cock and coating her fingers and the unfortunate dressing room’s tile floor underneath.
“That’s too bad, I really wanted to be fucked before tonight.”
Your body trembled as those few final moments of climax subsided, the disappointed look in Mina’s eyes as she jerked you off past the point of sensitivity. She gave your depleted shaft a few more rough squeezes before licking her fingers clean.
“I like the black shirt, try that one on first. Get dressed and I’ll see you outside.”
✦✦
Mina had an affinity for handcuffs.
The cold steel wrapped around each of your wrists matched the cold atmosphere in the room as each of your arms were spread wide as an eagle and secured to the headboard of her canopy bed. The expensive silk sheets against your naked body were the only comfort you felt as Mina’s cold hands were caressing your bare chest.
“Do you like being Minari’s little fucktoy?” she asked, cocking her head to the side and demanding an answer which was rather difficult to give as she had stuffed her wet panties in your mouth.
You answered the only way you could and frantically nodded your head, knowing Mina hating repeating herself. You were rewarded with a slap to the face as she relentlessly rode your cock, her ice cold gaze staring daggers into your eyes.
“Good answer.”
There was little you could do in that moment as Mina took you in and out of her slippery tight hole, using you for her own selfish pleasure which was arousing in its own way. Perhaps had your dressing room romp got the way she wanted it you would be in a different situation,
Spending a night with Mina was never the same twice in a row. There was always some changing aspect of it, something she had changed to keep you on your toes. At times it was a quick blowjob before you finished inside her, sometimes it was hours of her edging and torturing your cock as she devilishly cackled the entire time. You hated to admit it but you loved the unknown mixture of fear and anticipation.
You didn’t mind the position you were in, limbs splayed out on Mina’s bed as she worked out her frustrations and took her second orgasm of the night. The naked blonde had straddled your waist, riding your cock for what seemed like eternity, each pop of her wide hips bringing you closer to orgasm.
You weren’t sure what was louder, the constant moans and gasps that escaped Mina’s sinful lips or the creaking of her luxurious bed, both competing in a stalemate.
Mina spent several movements grinding away her orgasm as her wetness drenched your shaft, taking every last second of pleasure from your body as her pretty eyes stayed half-lidded.
“Are you not going to cum as well?” Mina asked, and you found yourself unsure at how you had lasted this long as the tightness pulsating around your cock continued.
“I-I was waiting for you to be satisfied,” you said, not trying to convey the obvious fact that you were wrapped around Mina’s little finger.
“Well, that’s sweet but you’ve done your job for tonight. You were a perfectly capable toy for me to use tonight. Now I expect you to cum, I don’t have all night.”
It wasn’t as if you had several options as you were merciless at her whims, unable to do so much as lay a hand on her pristine naked body as much you wanted.
“Hurry up and cum inside me.”
Mina’s words weren’t so much of a request, but that of a demand, as if she grew tired of using you and wanted to move on. She was quick to urge you past that point of no return, the slap of her plump ass bouncing on your crotch as the tightness in your abdomen grew harder to control.
The look in Mina’s eyes was enough to drive you over the edge. The way she rode you mercilessly drove you insane, you couldn’t last another second if you wanted to. The bed squeaked in protest and you swore it was liable to collapse at any second as her tight small body slammed down on your cock, filling up her warm little hole was too much to handle.
“F-fuck, Mina, I’m gonna cum,” you moaned out, sending a desperate sense of relief inside the woman you were buried inside. Mina’s eyes beckoned you to give in to her body, not that you had much of a choice. With one more intense slam against your cock Mina sent you past your limits, causing your throbbing cock to fill her dripping slick walls with thick hot cum, causing endless grunting as her cunt milked every last drop out.
It felt like you had blacked out from the sharp pleasure, every muscle in your body on fire as your climax ran its course through your trembling body as Mina carefully watched. Once you had nothing left to give, your balls fully drained at her hand she gradually ceased her movements and left you gasping for air as your shaft rested inside her.
Mina didn’t say another word as she gingerly lifted her body off of your cock, releasing you from deep inside her with a loud plop as your thick load began dripping down her thighs and down your crotch. She quickly reached for the key to your handcuffs off her bedside table and unlocked them, the relieving click music to your ears.
"You have five minutes to rest, then you are to join me in the shower."
✦✦
It wasn’t often Mina was caught in anything other than expensive designer brands, colorful long flowing dresses that accentuated every curve of her body, or form-fitting pant suits that were tight in all the right places.
After a late afternoon business call Mina had neglected putting clothes back on after her scalding hot shower, getting out in a cashmere robe and slippers as she took a seat on the couch, tablet in one hand and a glass of red wine in the other.
“Try some,” Mina said, gesturing to a half-full black bottle resting upon the kitchen table. You retrieved your own glass before joining her back on the couch, giving the glass a swirl as you watched the dark colored liquid splash around in your glass before indulging.
“What do you think?” she asked, scrolling through her tablet, catching up on various events and aspects of her day.
“It’s good. I’ve never really had wine except out of a box in college, but this is really good.”
“That’s a shame, I’ll have to catch you up. It’s one of the finest bottles from my parent’s vineyard.”
“Your parents have a vineyard?”
“They have several. One of my responsibilities is to check in to make sure everything is running smoothly from time to time.”
Every time Mina opened up just a little you felt grateful, feeling just that bit of closeness that existed.
“Do you know what the best way to drink wine is?” Mina asked, putting her tablet down on the glass coffee table in front of her.
“Can’t say that I do.”
Mina paused, downing the leftover wine in her clear glass before carefully placing it away and taking a seat on your lap, letting you feel the softness of her bare thighs. Her small hands grabbed each side of your face, planting a deep kiss on your lips and spitting wine from her mouth to yours.
“The best way to drink wine is off the body of a naked woman,” Mina said, loosening her robe and giving you a peek of her bare chest as you swallowed the wine she had deposited into your mouth.
“Well, clearly you’re the wine expert, but I think I’ll need a demonstration.”
“I’ll be happy to give you one,” Mina said, dismounting your lap as you carefully laid her on her back with one hand, the other keeping your glass upright. She untied the belt of her robe completely, opening it up to expose her perky tits and killer set of abs that complemented such a perfect body.
Mina didn’t linger for a second, taking your glass from your hand and aiming it at her naked torso, tipping it over as dark wine stained her pale skin, the contrasting colors so gorgeous to gander at.
You admired her beauty for a moment before planting a kiss on her tight abdomen and gathering the wine on your tongue, drinking it all up and licking every inch of her sexy midriff.
“You’re right, this is the best way. It tastes even better,” you said, continuing to run your lips and tongue over the surface of Mina’s body, licking in in between her cleavage as she idly watched. Mina had been licked clean at your own accord, the delicious taste of wine lingering on your lips as you kissed her breasts and sucked on her nipples.
“I’ll give you something else to taste,” Mina said, the look on her face as devilish as possible as she pushed your body off hers, causing you to fall flat onto the couch. Moving rather quickly Mina divested her robe from her body, letting you take in the view of her beautiful naked body.
That moment didn’t last long, Mina now fully nude was delicious candy for your eyes but you only got to sample it as you felt her thick supple thighs locking around your head, using you as her seat cushion as she took a seat on your face. It was so abrupt that you barely had any time to react as you were smothered with the warm flesh of her wet heat, the slickness of her cunt introducing itself to your lips.
“You know what to do, don’t you?” Mina said, the cuteness of her tone contrasted with her sinister expression, and you didn’t dare keep her waiting as you darted your tongue and licked her pink slit several times. Mina gasped and began rolling her hips, gyrating her body and riding your face.
Mina’s taste was unforgettable, and this close you were quite literally breathing in her scent as you ate her pussy out, being suffocated with dripping pink flesh as you explored her folds with your tongue.
“I know you can do better than that,” Mina said as she put more of her weight down on you, smearing your lips and chin with her essence. You made sure not a single inch of her delicious pussy went without a swipe of your tongue as you took her swollen clit into your mouth and devoured Mina.
“There you go, eat that fucking pussy,” Mina demanded, grabbing the back of your head as she moaned and dug her nails into the back of your skull, aching to feel your tongue deeper than it was already. Her aggressiveness always caught you by surprise no matter how many times you had seen it, not that you minded for a second as your head was buried in between her luscious thighs.
Mina’s taste was so intoxicating, so satisfying to your palette more than any of the fancy restaurants that she had taken you that you could have done this all day long until the muscles in your jaw gave out.
“Almost there, don’t you dare fucking stop,” Mina moaned out as her thighs squeezed your head, pulling roughly at your hair with her fingers tangled in strands of it. You were powerless to do anything else, pinned to her couch and being a toy and you wanted nothing more.
There wasn’t anything quite like when Mina achieved climax, moaning in a mixture of Japanese and English and practically slurring every word that escaped her lips while her thighs vibrated around your head, hips bucking wildly out of control.
When Mina came was the highest her voice rose, the usual quiet demeanor of her was replaced by such filthy words filth would make a sailor blush. Screams and lustful moans filled the air as her honey dripped into your lips and you lapped up every drop eagerly.
Mina had finished the vigorous use of your face to climax all over, and you lamented the loss of her thighs squeezing your head, but if the look in her eye was anything to go by she wasn’t done with you.
“Good job. You’re proving to be quite useful.”
✦✦
(2:02 a.m.) My place. Now.
It didn’t matter that you had just brushed your teeth, put on your comfiest pair of pajamas and slipped under the covers. When Mina demanded her 2 a.m. booty call you answered, not even bothering to change as you entered the black sports car sent by her personal driver.
Mina answered the doorbell naked, without even so much as a hello you were brought into the familiar bedroom. Within seconds clothes formed a crumpled discarded pile. Build-up wasn’t a word used much in Mina’s vocabulary as she took you into her warm wet mouth for just a dozen or so strokes, if only to make sure you were rock hard and nothing else.
You quickly found yourself inches away from Mina’s naked body, her long legs spread wide in a familiar position that you couldn’t wait to dive into. Your throbbing shaft ached to feel the warmth of her body, but she had other plans as you felt something being jammed into your leg.
“My pussy is off-limits tonight,” she said, leaving you unsure to her reasons but you certainly weren’t ever going to complain about anal with Mina and welcomed the change of pace. She aided in lubing up your cock, using a freshly opened bottle and guided you towards her tight puckered hole.
Mina demanded your full attention, this time not bent over ready to be taken but kept on her back, wanting you to see her as you penetrated her back entrance. It was regrettable missing the view of her bent of beautiful ass, not that this position was lacking in anything while having the benefit of granting full vision of her Mina’s features.
“Don’t keep me waiting.”
You wouldn’t dare as you pushed your cock into the tight opening of her asshole, earning a loud gasp from her lips as you penetrated her. It was a feeling that never got old, the intense tightness that surrounded you as your tip disappeared into her warm hole was breathtaking.
“I want you deep,” Mina said, clearly no stranger to anal as she was able to relax her muscles to allow your shaft to sink deeper into her tight asshole. It didn’t take much, just a few smooth strokes until you filled her ass to the hilt.
“Fuck, you’re so big,” Mina moaned out, letting herself get used to the motions as she instinctively rubbed her clit on one hand as you fucked her ass, keeping her knees up and her feet flat on the sheets as her toes curled with pleasure.
You found a rhythm to fuck Mina with right away, watching the pure unadulterated bliss in her eyes as you slid in and out of her puckered hole, feeling the tight clench of it as you stretched her out little by little.
“So fucking tight. You like how that cock feels in your ass?”
“I do, but I’ll like it better when you stop talking and pound me.”
You got the hint and upped your pace, driving your shaft repeatedly into the overwhelming tightness of Mina. She freely moaned in response, the look in her lustful eyes always demanding more and you readily obliged, moving your hips even faster until you were pistoning into her gripping hole.
“Just like that, show me what that cock can do.”
Placing your hands on Mina’s soft creamy thighs, you gave into everything she desired and more as you fucked her deep as possible, giving perfectly smooth strokes into her ass without pause.
You had a hard time finding what to focus on, the tight little hole that was filled to the brim with cock, or Mina’s pretty face now contorted with pleasure and moaning with delight. The sensations around your body drove you insane, the intense tightness and heat surrounding your cock set your senses ablaze.
Mina had an equal sense of pleasure if the moans escaping her throat were anything to go by, and in no time you were absolutely drilling into her asshole, trying to force your shaft as deep into her body as it would go.
You loved every second of it, the way her tight hole squeezed the life out of your cock, it was a moment you wanted to last forever. The look of ecstasy in Mina’s eyes as you were balls deep in her ass, you wanted time to stop for eternity so you could spend every bit of it fucking her.
Sadly, your body had other plans for you, as it often did. The intensity of your thrusts picked up, and you felt that familiar feeling in your abdomen that you wanted to go away, trying to focus on how amazing Mina made your cock feel.
“Mina, I-I’m close.”
“Don’t even think about pulling out.”
You couldn’t, even if for some reason you wanted to it would be impossible to remove yourself from the tightness you felt yourself buried in. You kept Mina’s perfect features in your view, watching the deep satisfaction as you drove yourself towards orgasm. The end was near and you wanted to savor the last few moments, pumping harshly into her tight ass repeatedly.
“Give me it...give me all your cum in my ass...fill me,” Mina demanded, staring at you as sweat dripped down your brow. It wouldn’t be much longer, just a few more thrusts inside her was all you could take as you used what little remaining you had left.
With one more satisfying thrust you buried yourself to the hilt, filling Mina’s ass as you throbbed inside her, flooding her hole up with your abundant creamy load and grunting with every shot fired.
Your climax lasted what felt like forever as your balls were emptied into Mina, her tight cavern milking you dry until you were able to slowly withdraw from her gaping hole as a stream of thick semen leaked out that was the evidence of your combined pleasure.
“I expected more,” Mina said, taking a finger to her rawly used hole and taking a sample of your cum, licking it clean.
You held back on giving any reaction, unable to do much but try and catch your breath as you watched the mess you had left inside Mina.
“Clean yourself up, my driver will be here in ten minutes.”
✦✦
One of the many benefits being Mina’s companion was getting to visit countries you had only dreamed of, seeing them only in movies. Your passport went from being blank to having pages filled with dozens of stamps from places that some you hadn’t even heard of before and experiencing the comfort of first class.
You had seen so many different places yet it never got old, seeing a new place, full of new culture to learn. It had become tradition that with every new place came a new hotel suite, staying in rooms you swore were bigger than some apartments you’d lived in and you never got used to it.
It also became tradition that Mina loved breaking in hotel rooms by being fucked in them. The thrill of being in a different country with a different language and a different timezone was only second fiddle to knowing the sheets were going to be stained with your combined bodily fluids. Mina always left large bills as compensation for cleaning staff.
Between business meetings and visiting important tourist destinations, Mina still had time to fit in being fucked daily, this time outside of the balcony, giving anyone who looked outside their window a free show for all to see.
Mina was always busy which was par for the course during business trips, but her schedule had been packed to the brim the entire morning. The free time let you roam foreign streets on the lookout by yourself without any blonde eye candy on your arm, a rare instance where you felt naked not having her by your side.
The nighttime view was remarkable, the curtains drawn on the balcony window revealed one of the most gorgeous skylines you had ever seen in your life. It failed in comparison to the view of Mina on her knees with her soft lips wrapped around your throbbing shaft.
“F-fuck, Mina,” you kept moaning out loud, keeping a hand resting on the cold glass window as she loud slobbered on your cock. It wasn’t often that Mina treated you to a blowjob without anything in return, maybe she felt apologetic for being gone all day, maybe she just had an insatiable urge to shove your cock down the back of her throat.
You had to forcibly pry your attention away from the magic Mina was working on your shaft, not wanting to finish in her mouth right away. Looking up you saw the outside view, noticing the night sky filled with beautiful bright stars, tall lit up buildings with neon that could be seen miles away and a gorgeous full moon made up the perfect backdrop of the city.
It was all impossible to focus on.
The only thing that caught your attention was the blonde bobbing her head rapidly, keeping her eyes glued on you as she sucked you off and covered your shaft in her warm saliva. Mina was no slouch when it came to her oral skills, and it was up to her whether she wanted you to last thirty seconds or ten minutes.
It always caught you off guard, the contrasting nature of Mina in the bedroom and outside of it. She was always so elegant, so prim, so proper - and yet here she was so goddamn loud as she gave the sloppiest blowjob without a care in the world, throwing her former inhibitions away.
“Your balls must be so full, I do feel bad I didn’t have time to drain you earlier,” Mina said, letting her eyes do the rest of the talking as she pleasured your cock, holding on to your thighs firmly as her mouth and tongue went wild. You could only take so much from her, the look in her eyes almost taunting you to try and last any longer.
Mina knew all your weaknesses and focused on hitting them all at once, going for the killing blow. Soft lips swallowing every inch of your cock, her wet tongue wildly playing around all while keeping a seductive look on her features, you couldn’t take it anymore.
“Mina, I-I’m gonna fucking cum,” you moaned out, trying desperately to hold out for just a few moments longer.
“About time, let it all out. I expect you to cover me,” Mina said, removing your cock from the warmth of her mouth and aiming it towards her stunningly beautiful face. The air in the room became harder to take in as you took deeper breaths, watching Mina furiously stroking your cock and encouraging your release.
Your climax didn’t wait for you, the shared anticipation at its peak as you erupted and painted Mina’s face in thick white streaks, splashing her forehead, cheeks and those talented lips, groaning audibly with every spurt released. Mina didn’t stop until she was satisfied you were emptied, sucking the sensitive tip of your cock as your generous load began slowly dripping down her face.
It took the leftover strength you had to not collapse to the floor, the satisfied look of Mina’s gorgeous face now stained with hot semen was an unforgettable sight.
“You made quite a mess,” she said, flicking against your sensitive head and cleaning your cock with her tongue to make sure not a drop was wasted.
“I’m not done with you so you better have some saved up for me later. I’m going to have a very fun night with you.”
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The Swan and her Handler
Emma Swan was cursed, and the only way to break it is with True Love's Kiss. Try breaking a curse with True Love's Kiss when you're a damn swan.
Yes, it's true, I've written a CS AU based on Walnut the Crane, a crane who fell in love with her handler. I'm ashamed at how idiotic this is. It’s by far the dumbest thing I've ever written in all my life. It’s nothing more than crack written in about an hour, un-betaed and barely edited. Sorry, and you’re welcome.
Rated T for language
~2000 words
Read my other stuff
Read on Ao3
These damn idiots can’t get anything right. It was bad enough when Emma showed up on their doorstep with perfectly clear care instructions that were completely ignored, but now they keep trying to get her to reproduce as if she’s some kind of zoo animal.
Of course, given her current living situation, it does make at least a tiny bit of sense.
Ever since the curse, Emma has been stuck in a wildlife refuge and has been unable to get any of her stupid caretakers to figure out how to help her. She knows exactly what she needs, but unfortunately, no one here speaks swan and she can’t exactly hold a pen. Her care instructions were translated upon her transformation, so the one thing that could have helped her now looks like chicken-- er, swan scratch.
“She needs a mate,” one of the jack asses points out. “She’ll probably want to mate for life.”
True, she thinks, although, not with any of the stinky fluff balls you have sent my way.
First it was Neal. He tried to mate with her, so she killed him. Last week, they put Walsh in her enclosure, and she pecked at him violently until they took pity on him and sent him to the medical unit.
Although today seems different, because her newest caretaker has shown up, and she realizes that he just might be exactly what she’s been looking for.
Emma Swan, unfortunately very appropriately named, requires a mate who can break her curse, True Loves Kiss the only thing that can bring her back to her truest form as a human adult woman. And when the new dark haired, stunning eyed veterinarian comes strutting into her enclosure, she hurries towards him to get a closer look at his name tag.
He jumps away, making some comment about her being fiery , and she blushes, squawking at him as she tries to get closer. Killian , it reads, and if she had lips and not a bill, she would smile.
“We think she’s depressed,” the stupid one with the big eyes says. “She’s killed every mate we’ve tried to pair her with.”
Good, she thinks. I must have done more damage on Walsh than I initially thought.
“You’re just misunderstood, aren’t you, love?” the angel-man asks, making her squawk in agreement. She thinks she could make this quick, this man obviously understanding her horrible twist of fate, so she lunges for him once more, trying hard to kiss his hand and hoping beyond hope that it will transform her back into the woman she's supposed to be. No more feathers, she prays.
He exclaims again, jumping and complaining of his hand hurting as she pecks him, so she rolls her eyes and squawks angrily. “Alright, darling,” he says with his hands up, his smooth, accented voice making her heart flutter inside her chest. Her breast? She knows very little about swan anatomy, despite having been turned into one. “Perhaps she’s stressed about her environment. Have you tried giving her a dark, quiet place to nest?”
“Not yet,” the dumbass admits.
The handsome one, Killian, a name she could get used to rolling off of her tongue, steps away from her, so she hurriedly follows. “Perhaps here in this corner will do.”
I would love to spend time in a dark corner with you, she thinks, giving the man what she hopes is a salacious smirk. She watches appreciatively as he sits down, crossing his legs as he starts to fiddle with some sticks as if she would be interested in them. Rather than helping him to make a nest out of the twigs and leaves, she plops herself right in his lap, nestling herself into his crossed legs and gazing up at his beautiful features, earning a smile from him.
“There we are, love,” he says happily, clearly surprised that she chose to plant herself upon him, although he shouldn't be. Just look at him, for god’s sake. “Comfortable?”
She squawks loudly, making him cringe, then fluffs her feathers in an attempt to gussy herself up for him. If she’s going to earn True Love’s Kiss from this perfect specimen, she’s going to have to work for it. The man chuckles as he looks down at her-- is he gazing? -- and lifts his hand slowly, placing a finger gently upon the top of her head and petting back down her neck, sending a chill down her spine, at least she thinks it’s her spine. She pushes her head towards him again, demanding more attention in an effort to get him to fall for her. It shouldn’t take long; she’s very enchanting.
“She’s never been this calm,” the dumb one says, making her snap her head towards him with a glare, shouting at him in disapproval. Killian shushes her soothingly, his finger softly stroking along her stupid feathers once more and making her shut her eyes.
“She just needed a bit of attention, it seems.”
“We’d best be careful,” someone else says, the bookworm who always thinks she knows everything about swan science. Of course, she probably knows more than Swan Emma. “We wouldn’t want her to imprint on you ,” she seems to joke.
“That’s quite alright, isn’t it love?” he asks her, essentially giving her permission to fall in love with this handsome bastard.
He comes by a few times a week for the next several months, each time sitting with her in her tiny, dirty nest and not seeming to care that his pants get soiled. She’s always careful to do her business elsewhere, making sure that her prince can sit in comfort when he arrives. She gets angry with him when he brings someone new, a sickly looking male named Graham who she assures is not welcome, so Killian gives up trying to get her to mate with someone. For some reason, they're concerned about her procreating, but she can assure everyone that she will not be giving birth to a damn swan baby while she’s under this curse.
One day, when Killian visits near the end of his shift, he’s finally alone, leaving behind the dumb one and the book worm and giving her all of the attention she desires as his strong hand softly pets along her soft feathers. She can’t wait to get rid of these stupid feathers.
“You’re quite funny,” he remarks as the sun starts to set. “Unlike any swan I’ve ever met.”
She squawks at him-- I’m not a damn swan-- and he smiles. “Quire the personality. It always seems like you’re trying to communicate with me.”
Yes, you stupid handsome man, that’s exactly right! She tries to nod, lifting and dropping her head in quick succession and making the beauty laugh. She nudges her head against his hand in demand of more pets.
“What is it you want me to know, darling?” he asks gently, his voice soft and soothing and deep.
She groans, a sound that comes out like a pained cry, and his face shifts. “Are you alright, love?”
In pure frustration, Emma drops her head against the man’s chest, likely assaulting him with how badly she smells like bird shit, and he chuckles again, letting his hand run along her feathers some more. “There, there. I know life as a swan must be difficult. All you seem to want is for someone to listen.”
She looks up, hoping that her expression conveys her complete and utter irritation at the fact that he’s literally hitting the nail on the head and yet he has no idea.
“Such a personality,” he says again. “I’ve got to head home now, love. I’m looking forward to having Chinese for dinner. Perhaps I'll bring you an eggroll tomorrow, or is that insensitive?”
She squawks, half because she’s laughing, and half because she would quite literally kill another potential mate for an eggroll. Wanting to beg him not to go, she gives him her best sad face through her inability to emote, and nestles her head against his palm one more time.
“I’ll sneak you one, love,” he laughs, and as he does, he finally, finally , leans down towards her, and plants his stupid, dumb, lucious lips upon the top of her stinky bird head.
Cramps start to run through her whole stupid bird body, the same ones she felt when she was cursed on Halloween decades ago. He stands, not seeming to notice her pain and discomfort until he’s a few steps away, and he turns back around. “Swan, are you alright?” he asks, as if she could answer, and she shouts back at him wordlessly.
She praises whatever gods might be listening as she feels things start to change, her feathers shedding as her skin is exposed to the chilly fall air. The webbing between her toes retracts, her legs turning flesh colored rather than that horrifying orange. Her bill turns back into her nose and mouth, preparing her to smooch her savior rather than peck at him. Finally, she’s back!
“Bloody fucking hell,” Killian breathes as he stares on, Emma transforming back into her old self, laying in a heap on the ground as she brushes off the dirt and twigs and leaves.
“You did it,” she praises before clearing her throat, raw from misuse after all these years. She grins at him as she’s been wanting to since they met, and is met with a horrified, shocked look on his face. His jaw is gaping, his eyes wide as they catch the light of the setting sun. “I knew you would.”
“What the fuck?”
“You broke the curse,” she says happily, standing up and exposing her nude form to him, cursing the lack of feathers although she vowed she never would. Immediately, he removes his jacket, despite his shock still clearly running through him, and hands it to her.
“I did what now?”
“I was cursed. Why do you think I was such a miserable swan?”
He’s looking around, his mouth snapping shut and dropping open in succession as he tries to process the fact that there was a swan in the enclosure just a second ago, and now there’s a frankly beautiful, naked woman standing before him. “You were cursed,” he says doubtfully.
“Yes, I was. An evil witch cursed me on Halloween decades ago and I've been stuck in that infernal bird form ever since. All I needed was True Love’s Kiss to break it, but imaging trying to fall in love with someone as a damn bird.”
“So you… you fell in love… with me…?”
“Obviously,” she smiles, taking a step towards him on shaky legs, tripping and falling into his waiting arms as he catches her, careful not to grope her, although she isn’t sure she would mind. “And you broke the curse, so… Do I have to tell you what that means?”
“I-- I’m having a lot of trouble processing the fact that I've evidently been in love with a swan for months.”
“Well, my name is Emma Swan, so you can be in love with a Swan for the rest of your life, if you’d like.”
“Emma,” he murmurs, staring into her eyes and smiling when he seems to recognize her. She’s never been able to see herself in the mirror, because the book worm was worried she would attack it, but based on the way he’s staring, she would guess that the evil witch let her keep her eyes. “Do you know it just happens to be Halloween tonight?”
“Kismet,” she says softly, gazing up at him. He lifts his hand like he did while she was planted in his lap, and she’s finally able to feel his calloused finger along the skin of her cheek, then of her neck, just as he had done before.
“Aye,” he agrees. “The spirit of the holiday does make this whole thing a bit easier to accept.”
“Yeah,” she says dismissively. “Now take me home. I was promised an eggroll and I haven't eaten anything but grass and stale bread in almost thirty years.”
~~~~
Tagging (with apologies):
@courtorderedcake @kmomof4 @stahlop @klynn-stormz @laschatzi @emelizabeth88 @lfh1226-linda @kday426 @elisethewritingbeast @timeless-love-story @captain-emmajones @gingerpolyglot @ebcaver @ilovemesomekillianjones @teamhook @superchocovian @itsfabianadocarmo @tiganasummertree @gingerchangeling @jrob64 @onceratheart18 @xhookswenchx @winterbaby89 @swampmedusa @ultraluckycatnd @dancingnancyy @love-with-you-i-have-everything @shireness-says @snowbellewells @hollyethecurious @ouatpost @daxx04 @the-darkdragonfly @donteattheappleshook @therooksshiningknight @eeteeaytay @xsajx @itsfridaysomewhere @alexa-fangirl-forever @jonesfandomfanatic @wefoundloveunderthelight @qualitycoffeethings @rapunzelsghosts @spaceconveyor @badcats-andmice @batana54 @sailtoafarawayland @deckerstarblanche @zaharadessert @xarandomdreamx @pirateprincessofpizza @captainswan21 @hookedmom @lostintheskyfaraway @undercaffinatednightmare @strangestarlighttree
#Captain Swan#Captain swan fanfic#cs fanfic#the swan and her handler#cs ff#the swan ff#cs crack#crack fic
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oooh 24 obkkrn writing or drawing lol <333
yayyyyy is my guys!!!!!! prompt requested from this post, still open to doing these if anyone missed it/still wants to <33
high school au, they’re wrapping up their senior year and obito would really like for them to stay together when school’s finished, if possible. a little bit of my codependent girl summer au but it’s not bc this would never happen 😭😭
also feel like this has some weird pacing sorry vera 😔😔😔
Obito swallowed hard, tongue stuck in his throat. Really, this shouldn’t be so terrifying; asking them on a date, that was.
He knew Kakashi was bisexual and that Rin was interested in Kakashi, so she wasn’t lesbian. But there was only the terrifying prospect that they both might not be interested in a polyamorous relationship.
It was stupid to think that—he was at least…fifty-three percent sure that Rin was interested in him too. He could totally be mistaking it as just a close friendship, but even that would be okay if she still wanted to be part of the relationship. All he wanted was his two favorite people with him in his future.
And Kakashi had never actually expressed any interest in either of them romantically, nor engaged in any “hot or not” discussions about other kids at their school, or really talked about people he found attractive at all…
Forget it. Maybe this was a bad idea. Maybe he should just propose that they live in the same city. Maybe he should just propose nothing at all and they would all leave high school and go their separate ways.
“Obito!” Rin’s voice called from her car. “Are you trying to waste your entire lunch?”
“You look like a freak,” Kakashi added helpfully, throwing a grape at him from Rin’s backseat. It hit him square on the forehead and bounced a couple times on the asphalt before rolling under someone’s car.
Broken from his thoughts he looked up and glared at Kakashi, speeding up his pace. “Yeah, actually, I was trying to waste my entire lunch. And you two just ruined it.”
“Oh, no, by all means, keep wasting it,” Kakashi said, reaching forward and locking the passenger door just before Obito could reach the handle.
“Hey!” Obito yelled indignantly, reaching in Kakashi’s window and unlocking it. Kakashi took the opportunity to throw another grape at him, and then Rin locked the door again before Obito could open it. “Okay, you know what? I’m just not eating with you guys,” Obito scoffed, pulling back.
“Noo, I’m sorry Obito,” Rin whined, unlocking the door again. “Please, otherwise I have to listen to Kakashi complain about Mr. Shimura and frankly I’d rather kill myself.”
Relenting with a grin, Obito said, “Shimura’s an asshole though,” and slid into the passenger seat. “What’d he do this time?”
“Killing myself,” Rin muttered as Kakashi said, “Verbally berated me about my track performance again. But like, in the discreet way he does. He wants me to join chess club so badly.”
“I keep saying you could probably get him to pay you for it, and could help pay off your dad’s medical bills,” Obito said with a shrug, and Kakashi snorted.
“And I’d say that’s a quick way to lose any chance at a scholarship, which would be infinitely more helpful in paying those bills off.” He reached forward and tapped Obito’s head. “Think of the long-term, dude.”
Obito swatted his hand away and cranked back the seat, just to be in Kakashi’s way. He pulled out his lunch thinking he’d get a moment to eat, but was most unfortunately, wrong.
“What were you thinking about out there?” Rin asked. “You looked anxious as hell. Got a test coming up?”
Shit. “Yes.”
“That’s a lie,” Kakashi said. Obito jerked, scowling at the ceiling.
“And how would you know?”
“You just had unit tests in all your classes except math and econ, both of which you don’t care about and would never be stressed about.”
“Ooh, good point,” Rin mused, watching Obito stress-eat his sandwich. “So what are you lying about?”
“Extreme pain,” Obito said, a little too quickly. “I should’ve brought my crutches today, and it’s why I was walking so slow.”
Kakashi kneed the back of his seat. “That’s a lie, too.”
“That’s ableist as fuck,” Obito retorted, and they couldn’t really argue with that. Obito was annoyingly good at hiding his pain for the most part, even if that wasn’t the case now.
Rin’s we’ll never know if you don’t tell us went unsaid and an uncomfortable air filled the space. Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck, shit, fuck it.
“Do you guys want to go out?”
He regretted it as soon as he said it. He should have specified. He should have—
“Like, on a date?” Kakashi asked, voice slightly strained. Obito gave a jerky nod.
“Like…the three of us?” Rin asked, gesturing between themselves. Obito hesitated, then nodded again. He could feel the heat radiating from his face and he wished he was dead and melting into the ground and—
“I’m down if you are,” Rin said, shrugging at Kakashi. “I’ve kind of been wanting to for a while anyway, but…”
“Holy shit,” Obito breathed, hands flying to cover his face. “Kakashi please answer.”
“Uh—Yeah, I mean. Yeah. But I just—“
“Spit it out!” Rin snapped, eyes wide and half-grinning with adrenaline. “Yes or no! Now I’m invested and if you say no I’m going to probably be very upset.”
“Yes! Of course!” Kakashi exclaimed, frantically waving his hands. “It’s just that—I’m aromantic. So like, I’d like to be with you guys, but more in a best friend way, if that makes sense.”
“Not really,” Obito admitted, drawing his hands from his face. “But you still want to be in a relationship with us, right?”
“Yeah, yeah, I just don’t really…want anything to change with us. Like we start treating each other differently because we’re boyfriends and girlfriends now. If that happens, I mean. I’ve never…”
“Been in a relationship,” Rin finished for him. “That’s cool. Glad we’re your first, I guess.”
“I promise I’ll still argue with you, babe,” Obito said, a grin splitting his face when Kakashi reached forward to smack his chest. He cringed away and Kakashi switched to punching his shoulder instead, Rin reaching over to pry him away.
“Jesus christ, you two!” she shouted, half laughing and not really trying to stop Kakashi as he tried to shove a grape into Obito’s ear.
“I’m gonna fucking kill you!” Obito yelled, laughing as he opened the car door and stumbled out, running a distance away to make sure Kakashi wouldn’t attack him again.
The bell rang and Kakashi and Rin caught up with him, as usual, and Obito mourned his lack of lunch to them while they reminded him it was mostly his fault for walking so slow.
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