chitty-chitty-bang-bang-bang

[chitty-chitty-bang-bang-bang]

I wish all the people who boop me a very happy Halloween :3

My day is made

[chitty-chitty-bang-bang-bang]

“The Big Kumara”

Word Count: 1,912

Age Restrictions: 16+ (mild gore/vulgar language)

Trigger Warnings/Tags: Horror, descriptions of blood and corpses, anxiety, mental illness.

Synopsis: Your concerned relatives sent a psychologist to your house, so you can finally open up about the incident, that sent you into this spiral in the first place.

Author’s note: This is my Halloween Special for y’all guys. It’s not my usual style, because I’ve never written horror before. But I tried really hard to make it unsettling and scary, because I feel like this is the wwdits fanfic field, that is not explored enough. Anyways, hope you enjoy it. Happy Halloween!

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“February 24th, 2006.” The woman across from you said, after pushing the record button on the dictaphone, only then did she turn to you. “So, tell me the whole story.”

You took a deep shaky breath, feeling cold shivers run down your spine as memories flooded your mind once again and you started speaking.

“It was almost two months ago. January 5th. That day was as normal as you could imagine. I woke up, did my usual routine, marked off the day in the calendar and went to work. I used to work in a call centre at that time. I don’t anymore. Can’t return there… Anyway. I came to work and my friends Sutton and Jean said they wanted to visit some new place that opened during winter holidays and asked if I’d tag along, because they needed a sober driver.

I… agreed. Of course, why not? I don’t drink that much anyways. That’s fine.

The place was called ‘The Big Kumara’. Some student party bar, not the fanciest place. I remember, when we walked in, I was instantly hit with a very strong smell. I thought it might be some cleaning chemical, but it didn’t seem like it. The smell was nauseatingly metallic. I asked if anyone else feels it, but neither of my friends seem to notice, so I thought I might be getting sick and tossed that thought away.

We sat at the table in the corner. We can be a little loud, especially Jean, after he gets drunk, so we didn’t want to disturb anyone. They ordered a few drinks and went to the dance floor, I decided I’ll join them later, because I still didn’t feel very well. The smell. The smell was driving me crazy and I didn’t know why.

The place itself was also not my scene. There were mostly people, who were way too young to be there and some weird goth people, which for some reason seemed to make up the majority of the bar’s visitors. Funnily enough, the place couldn’t be further away from being traditional ‘goth’, so I didn’t know what that was about.

But my friends seemed to like it quite a bit, because about an hour later, Sutton excused themselves to go out for some ‘air’ with a European guy in a big fluffy overcoat and a top hat. Jean and I laughed it off, but some time later he did the exact same thing, giggling and waving at me, as he left with another man, this one was wearing… I think some kind of a cravat tie and a jean jacket, which was a bit weird, considering it was pretty cold outside.

They both promised to be back soon and I didn’t mind. I mean, we’re young, we’re having fun, who cares? And I was sure they would be fine, because it’s not the first time they were up to this kind of things. Heck, I also wanted to have a fun time, but I was way too sober to do it with anyone in that place.

So I waited… And waited… and waited, and waited, and waited, and waited. But they didn’t come. It’s been almost three hours. I called them, I texted them and I got absolutely no response. Naturally, I was terrified of what might’ve happened. So I went outside and started looking for them, tried to see if I could spot those guys they left with or anything that could give me a clue of where they were.

Finally, I went into the alleyway behind the bar. Oh fuck… How do I even describe this?…

I heard someone talking in there. They seemed pretty upset about something, maybe even bickering with each other. But when I came over they seemed to notice and the talking stopped. I turned around the corner and saw a cloud of smoke and two bums lying on the ground, fast asleep. At least, that’s what I thought initially. I came a bit closer and recognised the clothes. Those were Jean and Sutton. For a moment I breathed out in relief, because I finally found them. These two dumbasses just fell asleep there!

Then I came even closer to wake them up. I still remember, how I put my hand on Sutton’s shoulder to shake them awake, but felt my fingers sticking to her jacket. There was some weird thick fluid on it, it was half dry and I pulled my hand away reflexively and noticed that this goo was dark. I couldn’t distinguish the colour in almost pitch blackness of the alleyway, but it was blood. I knew it, because now I started to smell that same metallic reek, that I became nose blind to, while sitting in the Big Kumara.

I don’t know what came over me at that moment. I knew, I should’ve called the police right away and leave it to the professionals, but… but something just prompted me to touch it again. I put my hand on Sutton’s jacket, then let my palm glide over to their neck and feel their cold skin with two dents in it. Like a bite. I wiped off the blood from their collarbone with my fingers and smelt it again, just to make sure it was actually real. Then I did the same with Jean. For a few minutes I just sat there in front of their corpses, examining them, as if I was trying to understand what those strangers had done to them, before I made it even worse by picking at their bite marks, making them bleed with stale cold chunks of red liquid.

I soon realised that my hands were now fully covered in their bodily fluid and panic took over me completely. I felt like I was part of it somehow. That I was also an accomplice to their murder. I didn’t know what to do, so I just took off running home. I left my car in front of the Big Kumara and sprinted home like my life depended on it.

I didn’t sleep that night.

I didn’t know what happened to them. I didn’t know how they died. I didn’t know why I let myself destroy what might’ve been the key evidence to how they were killed. I didn’t know why I kept silent about that and didn’t tell the police or even call the ambulance. I was a horrible person. I knew it. So I thought I was next.

The next day, I had to walk three blocks down at sunrise to get my car from the Big Kumara, but the place was surrounded by cops. I was too scared to come close, because the fact that I just randomly left my car in front of the bar last night would be strange, so I left it there for two more days. The weekends passed and at work, I felt even worse.

There were two empty places next to me, where usually Sutton and Jean would be. It seemed like a gaping hole in my life, that would never be filled again. I felt like people were staring at me. Each time I turned to look at someone, I always accidentally met their glance and I was freaking out. It’s like they knew. It’s like they all knew I was there and did nothing. Nobody talked to me, nobody wished me good morning or even waved. They just stared and whispered to each other. Maybe it was all in my head, but sure didn’t appear like it.

Also… each night I felt a weird presence in my room. I live on the fifth floor, but I can swear, there’s somebody at my window, coming in every night and spying on me. I don’t know who it is, but they just come and look at me… and they whisper something, but I can never make it out and I’m too terrified to take a look at whatever is hovering outside my window. I don’t know…

Soon, I became very paranoid. I got additional locks on my door. I flinched at any weird sounds around the house and at work. I couldn’t even focus on my job anymore, because I felt that when I’m not looking, everyone else has their eyes on me. Judging… Knowing…

I left work. I couldn’t be there anymore. Couldn’t sit next to two empty places. Couldn’t take the prying eyes of my coworkers. I couldn’t stay. Not a second longer… Now I’m unemployed. I’m not leaving my house. It’s too dangerous. Whatever that thing is, that goes after me ever since that incident. It will get me, as soon as I’m too comfortable. As soon as I don’t expect it anymore.

I’m not insane, I swear. And it’s not just a nervous breakdown. I know what is happening. I am not stupid. Somebody is after me. They’re after me…” You finally finished.

“But the culprit was found, right? Walenty Nowicki. He’s in trial.” The therapist said, showing that she did quite a bit of background digging on your incident.

“It’s not him. He didn’t do it.” You shook your head immediately.

“How do you know?”

“I just feel it in my bones. It’s not him. It’s something… else. Something abnormal…” You mumbled, realising how crazy you sound from an outsider’s perspective.

“Abnormal? What do you mean by that?”

“I… And this might sound stupid. I think it was a vampire.” There was no way you actually said it out loud.

“Or maybe, it wasn’t a vampire. Maybe it’s just the guilt that you keep suppressing, coupled with high levels of anxiety and lack of a support system?” She leaned on her hand.

“You don’t even believe me. You don’t even want to listen! Just because my relatives think I’m insane, does not mean I actually am! I never asked for a therapist, they just sent you in here! And this is my flat! My place! My temple! And you need to leave! Now!” You didn’t quite understand, why you were freaking out so hard. You shouldn’t be screaming at her, she’s trying to help.

But she can’t, can she?

You ended up forcing her out of your apartment and locking the door on all five locks you had installed. Suddenly, everything felt so quiet. It was already dark outside, but you left little to no light on. Otherwise, someone might see you move inside your house. Someone might notice you. You sat down under the kitchen table as usual, opening up another can of stew. They can’t get you here. You’re safe.

A brief moment of peace made you loose your concentration and that’s when it hit you. A cold hand on your shoulder piercing your skin with sharp claws. You wanted to scream, but couldn’t. Whatever it was, it covered your mouth with its palm. You turned around to see a man. He was there, but wasn’t. It’s like a hallucination or a projection… Scruffy in his appearance, his eyes stared right into your soul, making your heart beat faster than it ever had.

“You will forget about what happened to your friends. You will forget about vampires and you will forget ever going to Big Kumara. You are leaving a completely normal life.” He whispered and you recognised his voice as the one of the silhouette at your window.

What window? What silhouette? What voice?

You couldn’t recall anymore, as your mind drifted into blissful ignorance.

[chitty-chitty-bang-bang-bang]

Im in the mood for some more Vladislav fan fiction but i dont know what 😭 I genuinely love your writing so please surprise me lmao

*Giggles villainously*

Gonna get to that soon :)

[chitty-chitty-bang-bang-bang]

“Perpetual care” platonic!(Nandor x reader)

Requested by @sleeplessdreamer14

Word Count: 2,209 words

Age Restrictions: 16+ (vulgar language)

Tags: Fluff, crack, platonic, parent-child dynamic

Synopsis: Your dear friend Guillermo accidentally finds out that you are related to a certain ruler of Al Qoulnudar and he’s dying to meet you.

Author’s note: I’m an energy vampire, except I get my energy from people who request platonic fics for this account >:) Thank you so much, made my day

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“Yeah, but the Stan that we knew the whole show, wasn’t the real Stan. The real Stan was the Stan, that came out of the portal. So this Stan is Stanford, but the Stan, who we thought to be Stanford, was actually Stanley.” You ranted, walking down the damp streets of Staten Island beside your old college friend.

“Okay, okay, [reader], I promise, I’ll watch Gravity Falls someday.” Guillermo said, still unable to process the lore you’ve been trying so hard to explain the entire time. He noticed the mailman on Ashley street out of the corner of his eye. “Go right, I need to grab the mail, before werewolves tear it apart.”

“Right now?” You grimaced.

“Yeah, what’s wrong?” He crossed the road and you trailed behind him, hesitating slightly.

“I don’t know… Your house gives me the creeps ever since you told me about your, uh, ‘employers’. I’d rather live to my 40s, you know?” The half-joking tone of your statement made Guillermo chuckle.

“Don’t worry, they don’t harm the people, who are close to me. Plus, it’s way too early for them to be awake. The sun is barely set and they usually don’t get up until I wake them.” He shrugged and strolled towards the big, dark building.

“Should’ve brought my crucifix…” you mumbled.

The sky got darker and darker, as you finally approached your destination. The house seemed to tower over you, like an angry giant. It wasn’t that big, but it sure looked that way to you, since you knew what kind of creatures inhabited it. You instinctively stood closer to Guillermo than you usually would.

The familiar glanced into the mailbox and pulled out a few envelopes. Bills, some r-rated magazine Laszlo is subscribed to, grocery store ad and a mysterious envelope labelled ‘AncestryDNA’. Your eyes widened at the sight of it, distracting you from the thoughts about your current location.

“Man, I did this one too a few months ago! It’s kinda useless to be honest, it’s not like I’ll contact any of the people I’m related to at 0.01%.” You chuckled. “But it was fun. Had no idea there were so many nationalities in my family.”

“Oh, that’s great! I did one for me and Nandor. He was feeling a bit down recently, ever since he found out that his country Al Quolnudar no longer exists, so I thought letting him know about his relatives would… cheer him up.” He smiled.

“Aw, that’s so cute.” You said, then remembered that it’s a bloodthirsty vampire he’s talking about. Guillermo started walking towards the front door. “Wait, wait, wait! Where are you going?”

“To leave the mail inside, it’ll be a second.” He reassured you.

“Come on, man. Don’t leave me here alone.” You looked around. You weren’t sure if you trusted the night sky anymore. Anything could be around. Werewolves? Witches? Other vampires?

“Then come in with me. It’s alright.” Guillermo reached out his hand and you unwillingly took it, following him inside.

The inside of the house was beautiful and perfectly preserving of the many ancient relics, that seemed to litter every shelf. Your friend truly did a great job at keeping the house pristine. You barely made two steps inside, when you saw an unfamiliar woman descending down the staircase. She was ravishing, but seemed rather annoyed.

“Oh, there you are! Where the hell have you been?” She growled at Guillermo. You mentally noted her unique accent.

“Just out. I didn’t expect you to be up so early, Nadja.” He replied calmly, seemingly used to this treatment.

“Early? It’s 11pm for Sire’s sake! Barely woke up for the midnight snack.” The man looked at his watch, realising that he did in fact loose track of time with you. Meanwhile, Nadja’s gaze travelled to you. “Oh, I see you brought a treat. Well, maybe I can forgive you this one time.”

The woman smiled and suddenly disappeared into thin air. There was a moment of sheer confusion, when you wondered if your brain was playing tricks on you. Out of nowhere, a pair of cold hands grabbed your shoulders in a matter of seconds.

“Nadja, wait!” Guillermo shouted, barely turning around in time and you felt the vampire’s fangs stop inches away from your throat. “They’re not a snack, they’re my friend. I just needed to… Uhm…show them something in my room.” He tried to make up an excuse for you being in the house.

“Why the hell would you bring a random human into our house?!” Her voice roughened.

“Look. I’m sorry, Nadja. But you know I would never bring anyone dangerous into the house. They know about vampires and they’re not a vampire slayer. Trust me, they’re harmless.” He pleaded.

Nadja scoffed and looked at you once again, as if contemplating killing you, before leaving completely. You let out a breath you didn’t realise you were holding in the first place, still very much shaken by the sudden near death experience.

“Did she just teleport behind me?!” You whisper-yelled.

“Yeah, they can do that.” He whispered back. “Sorry, I thought they’d be aslee-“

He couldn’t finish his talk, before a loud voice echoed through the walls: “Guillermo! The lid is stuck again!”

“Oh, I’m sorry, I have to deal with that.” He ran up the stairs immediately.

“Wait up!” You followed.

You reached a wooden door with a golden knob. The familiar turned around to you, overthinking the plan for a few seconds, until he finally spoke up.

“Okay, you stay here. I’ll go help Master. Then when we come out, I’ll introduce you. If you meet anyone in the hallway, just come inside the room. Unless it’s Colin Robinson. Got it?” He let out in one breath.

“Wait, I-“ But it was too late and he already closed the door behind him.

The hallway was quiet. Even too quiet. You looked around, when another new face appeared from around the corner. A man, dressed very fanciful and rich. He smiled at the sight of you and you noticed his fangs right away.

“Ah, lunch!” He exclaimed and before you could ran inside the room next to you, the voice of Nadja interrupted the ordeal.

“It’s not food, Laszlo! It’s Guillermo’s friend.” She said, in an evidently displeased voice.

“Oh, pardon me then. Laszlo Cravensworth.” He extended his hand and you shook it.

“[reader]. Nice to meet you.”

“I like your grip, [reader]. Nice and firm. Tell me, are you Gizmo’s friend or friend?”

“I, uh…” You observed Laszlo’s face and he seemed absolutely serious. “I’m not sure I understand.”

Finally, the door swung open, revealing a tall, rather intimidating man. He looked at Laszlo and nodded, greeting him and the other vampire answered accordingly. His soothing voice, made you a bit less scared, but his fangs made it very hard to calm down.

“Ah, so this is [reader]?” He glanced at Guillermo and pointed in your direction, to which the familiar nodded. “Greetings, [reader]. I am Nandor the Relentless. They call me that because I don’t relent.” You could tell, he’s really forcing himself to be nice to you.

“Nice to meet you, mr. Relentless.” A nervous smile painted your face.

There was a beat of incredibly awkward silence, that felt simultaneously like a nice break and a staring contest. Finally, Guillermo broke it.

“Well, let’s go check that DNA test while we’re at it?” He suggested.

“I suppose that is a good idea.” Nandor agreed and you simply nodded along, now getting way too intrigued by this situation.

Downstairs, the three of you desperately tried to fit in Guillermo’s tiny space under the stairs, which didn’t seem like adequate living conditions, but you bit back the urge to bring this up. He punched the code on the envelope into their site and watched the loading screen for a few seconds until it showed you the result.

“Master, it says here, you are 70% Persian, 15% Kurd, 10% Turkmen and 5% Kazakh.” The vampire seemed to have a bunch of questions about this ratio, but before he could ask any, Guillermo continued. “And we can check if you have any living relatives, would you want to see that?”

Nandor’s eyes sparkled with anticipation, as he moved closer to the computer, sandwiching you between the two of them as if personal space is not a thing. “Relatives? Yes, yes, go on…”

The familiar clicked to the next folder on the site and it showed a ridiculously high number. More than three hundred thousand people. All of you remained in a state of collective shock.

“I’m a granddad?” Nandor looked at the screen in awe.

“Yes. Yes, you are.” The familiar choked out, unsure if he wants to delve into the implications of this amount of descendants. “Look how much you’ve got in the US alone.” He pointed at the map.

“All of these dots… They are my grandkids?” He squinted his eyes a bit to distinguish them better.

“Yeah! Well, some of them might be your grand nieces and nephews or something.” You chimed in.

“Oh, no. I killed my siblings before they could procreate.” He shrugged and you couldn’t tell whether it was a joke or not. “Are there any in Staten Island?” He asked.

“I don’t know. Let’s see.” Guillermo zoomed in on the particular area of New York. “Yeah, look! Over here.” He pointed at the address, funnily enough, it was your street. What a coincidence.

Guillermo clicked on the dot in Staten Island, which revealed the profile of Nandor’s supposed relative. A picture with a familiar face popped up. Your face. With a caption: [reader], born [_], ethnicity [_] and so on. All the information you filled out, when taking the test. Both heads suddenly turned to you.

“Is that you?” Nandor asked, already knowing the answer, but needing confirmation nonetheless.

You nodded shakily and let out a nervous chuckle. “Wow… wouldn’t have ever guessed I had a vampire grandpa.”

His smile grew wide with an uncharacteristic gentleness, as if he was genuinely happy to have you here. This felt weird. Just a second ago you saw this man as a terrifying bloodthirsty lunatic and now he’s apparently your ancestor. You weren’t sure how to act, so you awkwardly excused yourself, saying something about it being late and having work tomorrow, before practically sprinting out of the vampire residence.

You spent the night, pondering over the idea of reconnecting with your relentless grandpa. You weren’t sure if it was a sense of pity, sympathy, morbid curiosity or all at once, but the idea didn’t seem half bad. After all, he was the only one who hadn’t tried to kill you, which was a low bar to cross, but it was still crossed and that is taken into account.

The next day, you were getting ready to confront the vampire for the second time, to see if he’s down for a small family reunion. But as you opened the front door of your apartment, you saw Nandor and Guillermo standing outside, both looking a bit worried.

“Oh, hi! I was just about to go visit you.” You stated bluntly. The door opened wider to let both of them in. The familiar stepped inside, but the vampire just remained standing there. “Uhm, come on in.”

Only then did he come into the space and take a sit in your armchair.

“So I brought a present for you.” Nandor smiled in excitement and pulled out a little plush toy from a paper bag he had. “We made this at Build-a-Bear. If you press its paw it recites the warrior’s code in Farsi. I recorded it myself.” He handed it to you with almost childish giddiness and you couldn’t help but feel affectionate towards the gift. Unconventional, but sincere.

“Aw, thank you so much.” You held it close. “That’s very nice.”

“All the best for my grandkids.” He nodded.

“Maybe we should get to know each other better?” You suggested, sitting down on your bed.

“Yes, of course!” He tried to think of a good conversation topic. “Uhh… Thoughts on arson?”

“Hot.” You replied without thinking.

“I like you already.” He laughed a bit too loud for a mediocre joke.

The rest of the nighttime was spent with the two of you talking and doing dumb shit inside your apartment (Guillermo was just there for emotional support and because Nandor wanted him to stay). You found Nandor’s inability to spend more than 15 seconds pondering an idea and his earnest desire to connect with you, despite the generational rift very admirable and actually grew to like him. Of course, it would take much longer than several hours for you to fully start considering him family, but you’re willing to put in the work and so is he.

When it was time for both of your guests to leave, you shared a long heartfelt hug with your newfound relative.

“Goodbye, grandpa.” You said without much thinking.

“Grandpa?” He asked.

“Oh, sorry. Too early? Goodbye, Nandor.” You corrected yourself right away.

“No. Grandpa’s fine.” The vampire returned in a slightly shaky voice.

You weren’t sure, but you might’ve seen tears form in his eyes. Though you’ll probably never find out…

(PS: he did cry)

[chitty-chitty-bang-bang-bang]

inspired by a fic I requested to @chitty-chitty-bang-bang-bang reference from mellon_soup

and remember to do your daily clicks for 🇵🇸 and all their other causes

[chitty-chitty-bang-bang-bang]

do you suppose we could have a platonic ficlet for what we do in the shadows where the reader (young adult) is friends with Guillermo and they’re looking at the list of Nandor’s descendants and it turns out that the reader is one of them.

please and thank you

Yeah, sure!

I’ll get on that tomorrow probably

PLATONIC FICS SUPREMACY 🔥🔥🔥

[chitty-chitty-bang-bang-bang]

“You’re dead and out of this world” (Nandor x vampire!reader)

Requested by @hannahbisssssss

Word count: 1,174

Age Restrictions: 16+ (based on adult media)

Trigger Warnings/Tags: Anxiety, emotional breakdown, hurt/comfort, fluff, mostly platonic, could be read as romantic

Synopsis: You knew you were dead. Of course you did. But seeing your grave in person just like that was… more than you could take.

Author’s note: I’m sorry I died writing this. Blame the exams and assignments :(

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“I am almost fully sure it’s supposed to be somewhere around here…” You mumbled examining the map once again.

“I think we’re lost, [reader]. I don’t see anything that looks like what you’ve described.” Nandor looked around.

The only things that could be seen for miles and miles were trees. Somewhere in this forest was supposed to be your grave. Obviously, it was empty. But your relatives still wanted to honour you by burying your valuables, which you desperately wanted to get back. This treasure hunt started a few days ago when you found a map that led to your old home. You didn’t want to go there alone, because who knows what could be hiding in these bushes so you took Nandor with you. But now it was apparent that your childhood home was long gone and overgrown with greenery.

“No, I swear… I swear, it was right here!” You said pointing to your left. “It was exactly 300 steps away from the river… It… It’s supposed to be right here.” You started looking around frantically.

“Maybe you were just mistaken. It was hundreds of years ago, you wouldn’t remember it perfectly if you wanted to.” He shrugged. “I don’t remember where I was born either. It’s not that strange. Let’s forget it and go home, it would be bad if we stayed in the forest until the sun came up.”

“Nandor, please, can we look just a little bit more? I have a strong feeling, that it’s somewhere near.” Pleading wasn’t beneath you, if it meant actually finding any remains of your previous life.

He hesitated for a moment, then sighed and gave in, following you deeper into the forest. He was probably right and your mind just mislead you about the location of your former house, and yet you stubbornly walked along the river, looking around for anything resembling it. You heard Nandor’s heavy steps stop abruptly and turned to look at whatever made him halt.

“[reader], did flowers grow near your home?” He pointed to the other side of the river, where a small meadow of lilac unfolded.

A sharp breath got caught in your throat, because in the middle of that meadow was a big rock, that looked like no other than a gravestone. For some reason, you suddenly felt uneasy and anxious to go near it. It was your grave. The one that your close ones came to, when they wanted to mourn your demise. The one your family worked so hard to set up.

You immediately teleported to the other side of the river, running up to the tombstone and starting to dig aggressively, not sparing your fingers, clawing your way through the moist ground. You couldn’t bear to look at whatever was written on your grave. It’s not like you would understand it anyway. The language in which it was written no longer exists and you certainly don’t remember how to read it. But just the mere thought of recognising one of your relatives’ carving chilled your already cold bones. Nandor joined the digging, as both of you went deeper and deeper into the dirt, until your hands started to bleed stale dark blood.

You’ve reached it. You’ve reached the bottom. And there it was, a big wooden box, definitely not in the best shape, as it was dirty and lumpy with moisture. You gently took it out and looked at Nandor for a few seconds, contemplating whether you actually wanted to open it in front of him or not. You were already fairly emotional and seeing whatever is inside might just push you over the edge.

“Go on, open it.” Nandor nodded at the box in your hand. He probably wasn’t fully aware of the weight of this situation.

You hesitantly undid the simple buckle, that held it shut and peeked into the contents, but it wasn’t quite what you expected. Those weren’t any of your valuables that you left behind or some relics. These were gifts. A carved wooden doll of you, several handwritten letters, several pieces of cloth from each of your family member’s clothes.

You felt repressed memories flood back into your brain, pulling you in a whirlpool of nostalgia and grief. You missed them so much, more than you’d ever like to admit to yourself, so you just forced yourself to stop ever thinking about your family and it worked well so far. But here you were, crying like a little child, clutching this wooden box, pretending it was your lifeline. As if your whole being depended on this very collection of useless trinkets.

Hot tears streamed down your cheeks, as you desperately tried to regain control over your own body. You didn’t need to breathe, yet somehow still managed to keep running out of breath. It was as if the world was closing in on you at that moment and you had no idea how to let go of those ghosts of the past.

From the corners of your vision, you noticed Nandor. He was surely not expecting your sudden breakdown and his eyes were darting from you, to the box, to the grave and back to you. For a second, he had no idea what to do and you couldn’t blame him, because you didn’t either. He slowly made his way closer to where you were sitting.

Just when you felt like there was no resolution to this situation, another pair of cold hands wrapped around your shoulders and gently pulled you into his chest. He ran his fingers through your hair slowly and whispered something in Farsi, that you couldn’t quite make out. You leaned closer into his embrace, letting him soothe you on his own.

It felt so nice. Rarely ever in your undead existence did you feel warmth. But here, it was warm all over. If not physically, then definitely emotionally. Nandor wasn’t the one to show outright affection often, so this moment felt very special.

“Are you okay?” He asked, a bit nervous about accidentally making it worse, because it definitely happened in the past.

“I’m better… Thank you.” You replied quietly, still shaken and in the process of collecting yourself after the episode. He wanted to pull away, but you stopped him. “Can we just stay like this for a while?”

“Yes. Yes, we can.” He returned to his original position.

An awkward bit of silence hung over your heads, but you let it. This wasn’t a moment for either of you to speak, this was a moment to savour in silence and cherish it while it lasted. You weren’t sure how much time passed with just the two of you in this position, but it was enough for the two of you to see the sky starting to slowly brighten, which meant it was time to find a shelter, until you can come back out at night.

The two of you solemnly backed away from each other and in a wordless agreement started to walk in the direction of the nearest forester’s house…

[chitty-chitty-bang-bang-bang]

“Remember that one time with…”

Age Restrictions: 16+ (vulgar language)

Author’s Note (1): The reader is human here and all stories exist separately from each other.

Author’s note (2): I’m not crying because it’s the last season of wwdits, you are. But in all seriousness, I am literally so depressed over this, so I wanted to write something feel-good to celebrate the end of the series. Bye bye wwdits show!

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Nadja of Antipaxos

Ah yes, the wild 50s that you spent in New York city were absolutely magical. You were just a small street musician tap dancing your little heart out for a few cents, when Nadja, the Nadja of the famous Rat Pack took a liking to you!

She took you under her wing and supported your passion like nobody else ever did. You spent a lot of time together, dancing, talking or creating music. She was charming and even if sometimes her straightforwardness could throw you off, she was never outright mean. On the contrary, you grew incredibly close.

Suddenly, you became the cream of the crop, getting recognised on the streets, invited to exclusive parties and being written about in the newspapers. The fame was so unexpected and unpredictable, that you had real trouble adjusting to the constant pressure of being observed in the public eye. It felt, like your every move was constantly watched and observed, trying to find any small imperfection that could be ridiculed by the masses.

On one night, when the stress of it all started to really get to its boiling point, you had an accident onstage. During your big number, you just fell down and couldn’t find it in you to get up. Was it the clearly broken ankle or the lack of inner motivation, but you just laid there, limply observing the flashing lights of photo cameras in the crowd.

That’s when Nadja sprung into action.

You’re not sure how she did it, but she convinced everyone to never mention this accident ever happening and escorted you off the stage. Nadja stayed with you the whole time, before ambulance could arrive and comforted you in what seemed to be one of the worst moments of your life.

You expected to see your face in the papers next day with some disgusting headline, but there was absolutely nothing. For some reason, the journalists actually complied to Nadja’s order. And Nadja herself? Well, she was in your life for a couple more years, before disappearing without a trace… You tried to find her, but it’s like she never existed at all. Still, you hold memories of her close and dear.

Laszlo Cravensworth

Working as a dealer in a casino led you to have quite a few ridiculous and interesting stories to recall from your job. All kinds of people are swept into casinos daily and nightly and not all of them are alright in the head. Some of them were huge dicks, flirty assholes and self-proclaimed lover boys, while others were funny, charming and rather unconventional idiots.

From the last ones, your favourite story to remember is meeting an Englishman, who was dressed in some goth-ish clothes, velvet, silk and wore fake fangs, seemingly pretending to be a vampire, which you found hilarious. The best part was just how committed to the bit he was.

Laszlo Cravensworth was how he introduced himself. The whole time he sat at your table, you couldn’t really tell if he actually had no clue how to play poker or if he was just a very good actor. Nonetheless his outrageous playing strategies (or an evident lack there of) deterred anyone from sitting at this particular table, but he didn’t seem to mind.

Out of boredom you just started showing him magic tricks with cards, that you learned in your free time, in response to which he showed you his own and they were quite impressive. So impressive, that it actually made you think that it was magic for a second. When you tried to get him to show you the way his tricks are performed he got a bit nervous and came up with a thousand and one excuse on why ‘magicians never reveal their secrets’.

He just kept you busy with random talk about his wife, about his roommates, about his adventures, about his heritage and you just couldn’t stop listening. Not because you were obligated to, you could’ve easily told him to leave the table if he wasn’t going to play, but you didn’t. Your whole night was spent at that very same table with the conversations drifting from small talk to deep philosophical debates on topics, that you had no relation to, but still wanted to discuss.

At the end of the night, he admitted to you, that he was a vampire. Of course, you laughed it off and didn’t believe him. A vampire? That’s ridiculous. And after that he finally left.

A few days later you saw a report in the news about several people going missing in the hotel, where you were working and the last time they were scene is in one of the rooms, booked by four people. To your shock one of their names was indeed Laszlo Cravensworth.

To this day, you’re not quite sure who you met.

The Guide

College was a tough time for you, since student debt is no joke and it’s not like you could really work during the day, because you were way too busy with studying. So you decided to get a side hustle as a night guard at some small business centre in Staten Island, not far from your place. It wasn’t ideal, but it fed you, so that was enough.

You weren’t too familiar with anyone working in that place, because by the time your shift started, most people were already leaving. The only ones who seemed to remain in the building for quite a while were some kind of weird gothic club, that worked in the basement and called themselves “The Vampiric Council”. You’d found it rather funny, but didn’t think much of it, because they seemed nice enough. Especially one lady, who seemed to spend most of her time there.

You could quite recall her name. Was it Gail? Gaia? Guinn? But she often came to your desk to just chat when she had nothing to do. Even though she seemed to sometimes look down on you a bit, presumably because of how young you were, she still always gravitated to your desk, because both of you were very lonely in that building.

Sometimes you didn’t even talk about anything in particular, just told each other stories or played games like “I spy”. She was one of the only reasons you didn’t just blatantly fall asleep at your desk every single night.

One particular night, however, you felt like absolute shit. It was the exam period and you studied throughout the whole day, but still couldn’t write down certain crucial parts in time, so you continued your shift with your nose buried in books and your own notes. Naturally, by 1am, you were asleep, because your mind and body completely shut down for the day, no matter how much you tried to fight against it.

When you woke up, your first instinct was to panic, because you clearly recalled not finishing your notes. But contrary to your belief, the notes were completed perfectly in a handwriting you didn’t recognise. You figured that only one person could’ve done that. The woman from “The Vampiric Council”. You remembered to thank her for it on your next shift.

After you stopped working as a night guard, you didn’t see that woman anymore, no matter how hard you tried to find her. But memories of her still leave a pleasant warm feeling in your heart.

Colin Robinson

You still vividly remember your first job at a visa center in New York. It was better than you may think. The pay was great, the schedule was pretty much perfect and the work itself wasn’t too complicated. Everything suited you, though there were some complications with the coworkers.

The whole place seemed pretty much dead and you had no idea why. People looked exhausted and uninterested in holding a conversation for even a second. It’s like all of their energy was completely sucked out of them. Though, one person was different. A middle aged man named Colin Robinson. You remember him well, because he was a walking stereotype of a white guy.

But the thing is, as much as you thought you could never get along with someone like him, you did. Sure, sometimes it felt like he was purposely getting on your nerves, but other than that, he was fun. He always had something interesting to say like a fun fact or a dumb story. He made stupid impressions of people and for some reason seemed really surprised and even mildly annoyed that you found him fun to be around.

One time you were feeling sick, but still came to work, because you had no sick days left. The longer you sat in the dusty old space, the more you felt your consciousness slip away and your body get hotter. You sat in the break room, drinking some cold soda to try and chill your body down, but it didn’t work.

Colin walked in on you slowly breaking down, because of how horrible you felt from the fever and told you to go see a doctor. You tried to argue, but he didn’t budge and told you that you were being annoying for sulking around the office, since usually you’re the only happy person there.

You left work at lunch and visited a doctor. Turns out you had a temperature of forty degrees and thankfully they were able to lower it just in time. But if you stayed at work that day, who knows what could’ve happened to you?

You took Colin out for a coffee as a gesture of gratitude and a few months later he got fired from your company, but you still text each other from time to time. It’s nice to have acquaintances.

Guillermo de la Cruz

The 2010s was probably the least exciting time of your life. Actually, it was rather miserable. You had just moved into New York, hoping for an amazing career, loads of new opportunities, parties, celebrities and so on. But what you really got was a tiny apartment in Brooklyn, a very reclusive roommate and a job at Panera Bread fifteen minutes away from your street. Just what you hoped for, right?

But, of course, there were upsides. You still made new friends and one of them was your colleague. A cheerful young man named Guillermo, who hated this place just as much as you did. You just immediately clicked together for some reason, talking about dumb customers, vampire movies, celebrity drama. And all of a sudden coming to work wasn’t as bad, because at least you got to spend some time with a person you relate to.

Though not all days could be recalled as pleasant.

One time, a person came in with their young daughter and stood in front of the cash register to order. You were the cashier but also simultaneously helped out with some orders and you were taking just a little too long to get to the register for this person to take. So while you were taking their order, they threw a couple of petty jabs at you along the lines of “how do they even hire people like you”, but you decided you don’t care enough to make a whole deal out of it and just moved on.

Unfortunately, a whole deal was made out of it later and not by you. A couple of minutes passed after you handed out their order, when they came back and in a rather agitated tone asked for a manager, because they wanted to file a complaint on you. When you tried to ask why, they just dismissed it and kept insisting that you bring the manager. Obviously, you didn’t want to do that, because the manager will kick your ass for this even if you had nothing to do with it.

Thankfully, you and Guillermo got a pretty good system for this kinds of situations, so you went up to him and gave him a quick rap of what had happened. He went back with you and you presented him as the manager, which he was not, but it’s not like anyone would check right now. The person started giving him a whole speech about how they were convinced you spat in their mac n’ cheese, because it tasted weird and you seemed upset after they scolded you a few minutes back.

Guillermo tried to have a reasonable conversation with them at first, but that clearly didn’t seem to work, because they kept demanding refund. So he just gave them back their money and they left feeling delighted at their little victory. Only later did he tell you, that the money he gave them was the fake money you used to play poker during the breaks. He just happened to have them in his pocket from the unfinished game that you had that day.

Even now, as he’s not working in Panera Bread, you’re still close friends and often recall this silly story.

Nandor the Relentless

Oh to be a traveler, touring around the world, seeing all kinds of amazing places and sights. You were one of these lucky people in late nineties who had enough fortune to let yourself just explore the world and its bounds. When you were in America, you had the chance to visit the legendary Woodstock festival! You would be a fool to not take that opportunity, so you did. Naturally.

You weren’t sure if the festival was supposed to be this crowded, but it was indeed full of life and a load of very interesting people. On the first evening you met a very nice man named Nandor from some country Al Qolnidar, that you didn’t know much about. You pretty much spent the whole night with him, getting high, singing and dancing. He was a lot of fun and seemed to really take a liking to you. By day he disappeared and you couldn’t find him anywhere, but by night he was with you again.

The conditions of the festival seemed to be only worsening with time and you felt yourself getting more and more sick after each interaction with the chaos and the lack of food and water. On the last day, people went absolutely apeshit and started to burn stuff, tear down the stage, assault each other and frankly you were terrified. So when the whole ordeal started to get completely out of hand, you spotted Nandor in the crowd, took his hand and started to sprint as far away from the crowd as possible.

It later turned out to be the right decision, when you could see people basically burn down half of the sound equipment as well as set pieces of the stage on fire. It all went up in bright lights by the middle of the night. You two spent the rest of the night sitting in the mud, as you munched on half a protein bar that was left in your pocket, and just talked about anything and everything. Soon enough, police and ambulances arrived, taking people away and you guys just turned out to be lucky enough getting out of there at the right time.

After Woodstock ended, you kept in touch with Nandor over mail. He preferred the old fashioned way of communicating by letter, which, you had to admit, was very romantic. But with your constant travelling, one day you both just lost each other’s address and it was the end of your story… But those legendary three days stayed with you for the rest of your life.

[chitty-chitty-bang-bang-bang]

Hi! I was wondering if you could write a Nandor x Reader hurt/comfort where the reader is going through an emotional breakdown moment and Nandor comes in to comfort them? Thank youuuuu <3

Yayayayaya a request 🥳

Omg I love hurt/comfort so much

I’ll get to it on Friday and hopefully will finish by Sunday, bc I also have a WIP for the premiere of season 6

[chitty-chitty-bang-bang-bang]

“Memento Mori” (Nick x vampire!reader)

Word Count: 1,388

Age Restrictions: 16+ (vulgar language)

Trigger Warnings/Tags: Brief descriptions of blood (not detailed), fuff, crack, implied romance, during the events of the movie

Synopsis: Since nobody wanted to help Nick with his vampiric transition you took it upon yourself to help him through these difficult times and make it a little easier.

Author’s Note: I feel like my aro/ace-ness really shows in the awkward way I’m trying to write romance lmao. Really loved writing this. More love for Nick!

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“Knock, knock, knock!” You said in a sing-song-ish voice, as you banged on the door of Nick’s apartment. He lived in some rundown apartment building with a half-dead concierge and ugly wallpaper in the hallway, that was peeling off the cement walls. It took a bit of time, but the door finally swung open. “Yahoo! Oh-… Oh, Nick… You don’t look very well.” You scrunched your nose at the sight of him.

“Yeah, I know.” He said, his voice trembling as violently as his body. His face was pale and had red tear tracks left on the cheeks. “What the fuck did you do to me?”

You ignored his question and looked behind his back. The camera crew was there. Poor guy, going through so much stress and under the constant attention of the documentary makers. This wasn’t ideal at all.

“Invite me in, please.” You asked nicely.

“Why would I? You’re gonna eat me.” He crossed his arms.

“No, I won’t.”

“Bullshit.”

“Listen, Nick, you’re going through a lot now and I am here solely to help you. Now please, let me in and we can have a conversation in private.” You glared at the cameras behind his back. He didn’t seem to be convinced. “Look, I even brought some presents with me.” You showed him a plastic bag that you had with you.

“Okay, fine. Please, come in.” He said reluctantly and stepped away to make way for you.

You finally stepped into the house, put the bag on the counter in his kitchen and went straight to the camera crew.

“Okay, guys, shoo! Shoo shoo! We have a very private conversation here! Go on, tiptoe out of here, please and thank you!” You babbled, while actively pushing them towards the door. They knew better than to fight with a vampire, so they did the reasonable thing and complied, leaving Nick to your advices. “Great, now that we’re alone, we can finally have this talk. Sit down, please.”

Nick sat down on his bed, you took a stool and sat in front of him. “This feels really weird.” He mumbled.

“So, Nick, your body is changing right now and very drastically, I might say. This change… it’s rather normal actually.” The way this conversation resembled the birds and bees talk his parents gave him when he was a teen made Nick even less comfortable. “Factually, you are dying.” You smiled.

“Wait… what?” His shaking ensued.

“Don’t worry. It’s okay. I mean, we all died. Me, Viago, Vladislav, Deacon, Petyr. It’s not pleasant, but, trust me, it’s the worst part. Once it’s over, the rest is way easier. You just gotta desensitise yourself to drinking blood and constant murdering of innocent civilians. Not that much, considering you seemed to already kill a bunch of innocent… creatures.” You glanced at a few rat corpses on the floor.

“I don’t remember how that happened. I was-… Whatever, doesn’t matter.” he followed your gaze. “So am I… becoming a vampire?”

“Bigno!” You smiled.

“You mean ‘bingo’?”

“Yeah, bingong! Anyways, Petyr made you into a vampire. But you didn’t quite finish your transformation. That’s why you’re still half alive and suffering from batshit insane hypothermia.” You went over to the greasy kitchen counter and he followed. “Give me a glass, please.”

Despite his confusion, he opened a cupboard and handed you a wine glass, just because it’s the closest thing he had to a goblet, which is more your scene. You opened a small Tupperware bottle you had and with you and poured the red liquid in the glass, then added in some weird silvery powder from a tiny ziplock bag.

“What is this?” He looked at the weird substance you were mixing.

“Just blood and iron supplements. You need to drink blood to finish your transformation and iron is there to make it extra strong. Also because the blood might’ve gone stale. It’s been in the fridge for some time now.” You handed him the glass, making sure nothing spilled.

“So… I just…” He made a motion, that imitated drinking and you nodded. “Holy shit… okay.”

He hesitantly brought the liquid to his lips and started to chug it down very quickly. Either because he liked it that much or because he wanted to forget that he’s currently drinking blood. He put the empty wine glass back on the counter and breathed in deep.

There was a second, where absolutely nothing was happening, then out of nowhere Nick started hissing in pain as his fangs grew out right before your eyes. He was quite literally climbing up the walls from the sheer agony of this rapid process in his body. He was clawing on the plaster of his ceiling, ripping out patches of it as they fell onto his dusty carpet.

“Hey, that’s fine, that you let out your inner feeling, but you might need that ceiling later, so maybe don’t do it!” You said loudly, so he could hear you through the beastly noises he made.

Finally, after a few seconds, the energy left Nick’s body and he limply fell off the ceiling and you caught him. He was dead. Not breathing, not responding, not even blinking. This lasted less than a minute obviously, before he opened his eyes once again.

“What the fuck?” Was the first thing he let out into the undead world.

“Happy vampiric transformation!” You smiled, trying to be as supportive as you could. Then gently put him down on the floor, as soon as you knew he could stand by himself. He went up to the mirror he had in the hallway, but couldn’t see a thing. “No, this won’t work, Nick. Vampires don’t have a mirror reflection.”

“Do we show in photos though?” He immediately asked.

“I mean, yeah, but it’s not like you have a camera around.” You checked your surroundings for a camera.

“I can just take a picture on my phone.” Nick shrugged.

Immediately a picture of a touch-tone telephone appeared in your mind. “How would that even work?”

Nick took out his smartphone and snapped a picture of himself, then came over to you, so you can both look at it. He zoomed in to examine his fangs for a second. Nick smiled and even barked out a quiet laugh.

“Hey, this looks cool. Nobody told me you automatically become hot, when you’re a vampire.” He kept analysing the picture.

“No, you just stop being self-conscious.” You chuckled. “You do look kind of hot though.”

He shot you a glance with a small smile, before putting his phone away and going back into his room, where you followed. He plopped down on the bed and patted the place beside him, suggesting you sit there and you did.

“So… Why did only you come?” Nick wondered.

“Well, others had their reasons.” You shrugged.

“Vladislav?”

“Didn’t want to.”

“Deacon?”

“Didn’t want to.”

“Viago?”

“Didn’t want to.”

“Petyr?”

“I was too scared to ask him if he wanted to.” You averted your gaze.

“So if nobody wanted to come, why did you?” Nick tilted his head curiously.

“I don’t know… Usually, you’re supposed to figure all of this out for yourself. I mean, nobody explained anything to us, when we were becoming vampires and that was the norm. You just turn someone and let them deal with it in whatever way they want to. But I just thought of how I was during my transition period and it really wasn’t great. I wished I had someone else to guide me, to tell me what’s going on, to help me get through it and… I thought, why subject anyone else to this kind of situation, when I can just help.” You smiled.

“You’re overly nice for a horrible creature of the night.” Nick seemed genuinely surprised.

“Hey, I’m dead, not heartless.” A chuckle escaped your lips, then switched to a sigh. “You still have a lot to learn. This lifestyle sucks ass and you’ll need quite a while to adjust to it. But I know you will.” You leaned your head on his shoulder.

“I know I will… so long as you’re here.” He said the last part quieter and let himself play with your hair a bit.

Funny how even in death you could find ways to feel more alive than ever…

[chitty-chitty-bang-bang-bang]

Cooked something up for you for Halloween ;)

Very different from usual stuff on this blog

Don’t worry, I’ll upload more regularly from now on (at least weekly)

[chitty-chitty-bang-bang-bang]

Hey guys! Having a bit of trouble with writing lately, so thought it would be a very fun idea to pick up some kind of a writing challenge for October and do a bunch of prompts from those. So far I found good ones in Monstertober, AUtober and Angstober, but please let me know what you would like to see. Let’s make the spooky month fun together! :D

[chitty-chitty-bang-bang-bang]

Deacon’s Fluff alphabet

Original template by @eekshade

Requested by @rthounasty

Warnings: Occasionally vulgar language

Author’s note: The reader will be human here. IM SO SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG OMG!!! When I promised to do it in “a couple of days”, I actually thought I would, then a bunch of shit literally came out of nowhere and I had to deal with it. I’m sorry, I’m usually not the one to make empty promises :(

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Admiration. (what do they admire about their S/O)

He really loves the way you look at him. Nobody else looks at him that way. He sees so much kindness, affection, care and genuine love in your eyes, that it almost makes him question if he’s worth having someone gaze at him in this manner. It’s truly amazing.

Boldness. (how bold are they in regard to their S/O? who confessed first?)

Deacon definitely confesses first, because he feels like it’s his duty to take charge in this matter. He’s definitely very bold and might move at a very fast pace with your relationship, so if that’s not the thing you’re comfortable with, you’re going to have to tell him.

Comfort. (how do they comfort their S/O?)

Deacon may not seem like a good empath at first glance, but he really is. He always knows how you feel, but he isn’t sure how to handle it exactly. Usually he just ends up finding out what’s bothering you and talking about it. Simple, yet works every single time, because he really understands you.

Dates. (do they prefer going out or staying in? do they prefer fancy or simple?)

I think Deacon would prefer to have dates at some secluded place, where nobody can really interrupt you or interfere. It’s definitely not his house, because of his roommates. He really likes going out with you for picnics. It’s nice to be surrounded by greenery and enjoying the company of each other. Not very fancy and rather dangerous, but sweet nonetheless.

Equal. (are they more dominant or passive?)

Deacon doesn’t like being led by someone, so taking charge is more up his alley. Though to be fair, it’s really easy to overpower him and once he’s in that position of willingly letting you have it your way, he kind of enjoys the liberation. You two end up plateauing and matching each other’s energy.

Family. (do they want to start a family?)

Arguably, Deacon is not very good with responsibility and a child is a very big one. He realises, that it’s a big commitment that he is definitely not ready to make at this point in time and especially not with a mortal, because how would that even work? He really needs to grow up (mentally) himself first, before having any kids.

Goofy. (how serious are they when it comes to a relationship?)

In the sweetest way possible, he’s a buffoon. He likes to joke about himself, about you, tease you occasionally and maybe even play a prank or two. It’s all in good fun and he likes to see the smile on your face, when he says something ridiculous. If you ever get upset or uncomfortable at his jokes, he’ll realise it right away and then immediately back down and admit it wasn’t funny and apologise.

Hugs. (how do they hug?)

Bone-crushing-soul-squeezing-heart-exploding hug. It’s so tight, you have to remind him that you’re not immortal. Each time he hugs you, it feels you like he’s afraid of letting go. As if you’d turn to dust or something much more horrifying. These hugs are his beacon of comfort.

Interests. (what Interests do they want to share with their S/O)

He will die if he doesn’t teach you how to knit, so you can spend hours and hours talking and knitting like a married old couple. You also now have a ton of his handmade sweaters, scarves, hats and mittens. Please wear them, he’ll get mildly upset if you don’t, because it’s like you denied his token of affection.

Jealousy. (do they get jealous?)

Deacon does get jealous quite a lot of your friends, especially very close ones. Though he usually just sucks it all up, because talking about his feelings is challenging for him and you might have to prompt this conversation. Otherwise he’ll just be sour about it until eventually he forgets and moves on.

Kiss. (how they kiss/favorite place to be kissed, and vise versa.)

This man pours his whole soul and heart into his affection. Deacon’s kisses are very passionate and intense. His favourite part of your body to kiss is the lips. Cliché? Yeah, pretty much. But it just feels so intimate and personal, because you’re allowing him to kiss you the way nobody else is allowed to. For himself, he likes being kissed in the temples. It feels so nice and relaxing, he literally melts.

Love Language.

Deacon’s love language is gifts. Words of affirmative don’t really roll off his tongue that easily and can come off rather awkward, acts of service is just not something he enjoys that much and it wouldn’t feel sincere and while he loves physical touch and quality time, giving you gifts is his main way of expressing love. Because each time you smile receiving anything he gives you, it’s like a little confirmation that he knows you well. That he’s doing something right.

Meals. (kitchen dynamics.)

Deacon is definitely not the best chef and I wouldn’t trust him with a stove, but if you require help with some basic tasks in the kitchen, he will agree to do it. He can chop up the products, measure ingredients or run a quick errand to the store. If you bake, he really likes to watch the bread rise in the oven, so don’t be surprised to catch him just staring at it.

Nicknames. (what do they call their S/O?)

“My love”, “My dearest”, “My (basically anything)” are his go-to ones. It’s not so much so because he’s possessive, he’s really not. It’s because he really likes to feel this connection of you almost being a part of him at this point. Though usually he doesn’t think of it that deep.

Openness. (how open are they about their past/emotions with their S/O?)

Deacon is rather steep with sharing information about himself. He gives you little hints and details about his past and might tell you some basics about where he was born and how he became a vampire. But more personal stuff like his family and his time as a mortal he keeps to himself even after you get very close. Part of the reason is that he hardly remembers those times.

PDA.

Outrageous PDA enjoyer. Deacon likes to hold you and take your hand, while walking or kiss you for no reason at all. He does it once to test the waters and if you don’t feel like it’s something you’re okay with, he will stop. You just have to be straightforward about it.

Quarrel. (how they apologize/ how long it takes them to forgive their S/O?)

As I mentioned before, Deacon doesn’t have the best way with words and his pride doesn’t help it. If he’s truly wrong, he will apologise, but it might take him some time. When he does though, it’s very sincere and you can tell just how guilty he feels.

Rules. (boundaries they have.)

His rules are very simple and straightforward. No cheating, no fighting over dumb shit, no boycotting each other. He thinks that silent treatment is probably the worst way of solving problems, because it doesn’t solve anything and makes both parties feel like shit.

Security. (how protective they are of their S/O.)

Deacon is very very very protective of his partner. He is always on a lookout for potential threats, when you two are on the town. He doesn’t want to accidentally put you in danger, because of his own recklessness. If anything ever happens to you he will be so pissed and probably pick a fight with whoever caused you harm.

Time. (how long does it take to fall for their S/О?)

Deacon takes a while to even start liking you and even longer to properly fall in love. For the first couple of months of your platonic relationship he didn’t even look at you as a potential romantic partner, but slowly he started realising that he wants to be close to you, talk to you, hold you and be a big part of your life. Give him time to come around to it.

Upset (what things upset them in a relationship?)

There aren’t many things, that can get him truly upset with you, but everyone has boundaries. If you ever come at him with some epithets like “dumb”, “immature”, “tactless”, “brute” and anything of that sort, he will feel like absolute shit and doubt if you two can even work together. Unless he actually deserved it in that situation.

Vacation. (what kind of traveler are they with their S/O?)

Traveling with Deacon is never boring. Even if you make a perfect plan for your trip, it will probably go to shit, when your boyfriend gets a random idea to go off the route and explore that very interesting looking [insert literally anything here]. So always be prepared with a plan B if you get lost. Also try to not let him burn down in the sun.

Words. (promises they make to their S/O.)

He promised to always be with you. Through thick and thin. Through highs and lows. He will never leave your side, even if the whole world turns against you. Seems like a bunch of meaningless big words, but I assure you, he means every single thing he said.

Xenial. (how they make you feel welcome/what makes them feel welcome?)

He likes when you call his name. It’s plain as day, but just the way it rolls off your tongue and the sound of it makes his brain itch a little in the best way possible. He could listen to you just saying his name over and over all night long. He makes you feel welcome by doing small things he usually doesn’t do to others like hold the door for you, move the chair for you to sit down and all that gentleman fluff.

Yearning. (do they miss their S/O easily? what do they do about it?)

He misses you a ton, but deals with it pretty well. He keeps around something with your scent, like your perfume if you use one or your favourite T-shirt. And for a little moment it makes him feel like you never left. That is enough to get him through the period of time when you’re away.

Zzz. (sleeping habits/how they cuddle.)

This man sleeps on top of you in the star pose. It looks a bit funny from the side, but really, he’s lighter than you though, especially considering he sometimes floats when he’s asleep. Though a lot of times you sleep separately, just because he finds sleeping upside down like a bat way more comfortable than the human way.

[chitty-chitty-bang-bang-bang]

Hey you! If you already have enough on your plate dont pay me any mind but can we also get a fluff alphabet for deacon? Tyy :)

Tbh, I’m always happy to write, but I have zero ideas, so you’re a saving grace :D

I’m getting on it, though it may take a couple of days

[chitty-chitty-bang-bang-bang]

This is how this blog started

[chitty-chitty-bang-bang-bang]

This blog got, you won’t believe this, not one, not five, but ten followers! I feel so famous :D

ALSO THIS 🥳

[chitty-chitty-bang-bang-bang]

“Corpse Groom pt. 2” (Viago x reader)

[part 1]

Requested by @froggoofthrones

Word count: 2,889

Age restriction: 16+ (vulgar language)

Tags: Hurt/Comfort, Self Imagery issues/Insecurity, slight crack, happy end (sorta)

Synopsis: Even though you were technically banned from ever seeing Viago, the matter that made you break the silence is no joke and he needs to be warned about it.

Author’s note: The focus here is kind of less on romance and more on the plot (that is a bit cliche), but I’m still happy with how it turned out. It’s the longest oneshot I’ve written so far and it was very fun to write, so thank you for the request!

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The air was chilly, despite it being the middle of June. Dark gloomy streets were lit up by dim lamps, making faint shadows form on the muddy gray pavement. Unenthusiastic and dull were the steps of many tired people returning from work in the centre of Wellington at this late hour. You walked down the same street, matching everyone’s lack of spring in their step, looking around slowly and trying to examine each and every single person passing by. What if maybe, just maybe, one of them happened to be Viago?

Three months passed since you last talked to him. You saw him once in late April, when he was out on the town with Deacon and Vladislav. Watching him from afar was a bit sobering. He seemed happy. Way happier, than you were, which scared you way more than you’ll ever admit. Viago seemed completely fine. Of course, why wouldn’t he be? He’s immortal, he’s smart, he’s pretty. He can probably get anyone he wants, if he wants them hard enough. And you? You were just you? A human.

You shook your head from side to side, as if trying to displace those unpleasant reflections on your own life. This called for a drink. It’s Friday after all, you could allow yourself to unwind once in a while. Sighing, you turned the corner into a small Pub very ironically named “Dracula”. The place was a bit rundown, but what Pub wasn’t? You took a seat at the counter and asked for a Jim Bim.

Tranquility was surprisingly one of the main qualities of this place. Aside from you, the staff and a group of random people whispering back and forth at the table in the corner, there was nobody. The quiet atmosphere calmed you down and simultaneously made you uncomfortable, because silence inevitably left you alone with your thoughts. Thankfully, it wasn’t for long.

“Hello there, you came for the Mosquito Collectors assembly?” A woman from the group, that was mentioned earlier, came up to you.

“Hey, Uhm… what?” You tilted your head.

“The Mosquito Collectors Club assembly. You’re here for that?” She repeated patiently with a bright smile.

“No.”

She looked you up and down, then sighed in disappointment. “Okay then, have a nice evening.” The woman turned around to leave.

“Wait!” She turned back again. “What is this club?”

“Oh, you’ve never heard of us?”

“No, not really. Am I supposed to?”

“You can come and see.” Her grin reappeared, wider than before.

Frankly, you wanted to go. Mosquito Collectors Club seemed so wacky. Talking to these people was either about to be the most fun you ever had or the most dull and awkward interaction you can imagine. Naturally, you preferred the company of some entomology nerds, than being alone. So you stood up, took your drink and followed her to the table.

“Guys, we have someone new interested in the club.” She said and pointed at you. The others turned their attention to you as well.

“So you hate mosquitos too, huh?” One person asked you.

“Uhh… Yeah, they are pretty annoying to be honest.” You shrugged.

“Oh, annoying is an understatement.” A man on the left said.

“Don’t you feel disgusted by them? Don’t you absolutely despise creatures vile enough to… drink human blood.” A woman in the center of the table questioned.

“I already said it. I don’t really like mosquitos.”

“Well, you see…” The woman, who led you to the table gently patted your shoulder. “…We’re not only talking about mosquitos. There are other creatures. Much more dangerous, but with the same bloodthirsty tendencies. You know who I’m talking about.”

“Vampires.” A breath hitched in your throat. There was no way.

“Yes, vampires. Vampires, who kill and keep killing our closets ones. How can Wellington be tolerant to these creatures, who have no respect for us?”

“That’s why we’re taking matters into our own hands. We’re vampire slayers, you see. And we can teach you to be one too.” You turned to the men at the table again. “What do you say?”

Vampire slayers. You thought that this problem would never arise after Petyr’s tragic death. Yet, here they were in the flesh. What if they hurt Nick, Vlad, Deacon or Viago? Maybe it was best to join them and quietly sabotage their plans from the inside?

This felt stupid. Why should you be protecting the guys, who are hundreds of years old? Surely, they don’t need the help of some scrawny human. They must know how to deal with situations like that. But do they, though? Because last time a vampire slayer found them, somebody died very tragically. They might be old, but not all knowing. They needed you just this one time.

“Yes, I would like that.” You responded after a few seconds of thinking.

The club members unanimously happily congratulated you on joining them and immediately started giving you the rap of what they do, how they do it and what are their plans for the future.

It’s been more than a month since you’ve joined the Mosquito Collectors. They turned out to not be the worst people. Sure, they were terrifyingly violent and suspiciously good at driving stakes through the hearts of silicone dummies. But most of them, had someone very close to them killed by a vampire. Be it a relative, a friend, a partner and even one man’s daughter. You felt really bad for messing with them. They were like some kind of avengers, fighting for what others didn’t understand.

While dating Viago, you pushed back all the thoughts about him killing humans into the back of your mind. Because he was so sweet and nice to you, that you didn’t want to acknowledge the fact that he literally needs human blood to survive. You didn’t want to think about jars of blood in their fridge. You didn’t want to think about the corpses buried in their yard. You didn’t want to think about the crimson stains he had on the majority of his clothes.

And yet, here you were, with people who had to suffer the consequences firsthand.

The worst part is that their next affair was raiding a certain vampire residence in the Northern Wellington suburbs. The same address you visited so often just a few months ago. Apparently they weren’t the best at keeping vampirism a secret. Your worst fear came true. They all were in grave danger.

It was around 3am, when you were called into the same “Dracula” bar for an emergency meeting. They told you to bring all your weapons, like crucifixes, stakes and so on with you, which made you all the more nervous about their plans. Everyone was already sitting at the table, so you quickly grabbed a chair and joined them, feeling the tense atmosphere. Your leader Cassie looked at you, then started speaking.

“Now that everyone’s here, let’s discuss this. Initially, we planned to attack on August 13th, which is next Friday…” That’s why you thought you had a whole week to tell vampires about this and you were going to do it tomorrow. You even prepared a whole speech, because you imagined it will be hard to make them listen to you after all this happened. “…But the plans changed, because Marvin over here has to leave the town for that day. So we decided to do it today, as the sun goes down. We can’t risk losing any more time. Who knows how often these things feed. We have to put an end to this.”

The club members cheered, their spirits were evidently up and ready to kick some vampire ass, but your heart shrunk in absolute terror. This was not good. This rapid change of plans… It’s not good. You had to come up with a plan of your own and fast.

“Okay, let’s polish our strategy, before we make a move.” One of the members started, but you interrupted him.

“I’m sorry, can I leave for like… five minutes? I have to take my medicine and I… uhh… I left it in my car.”

“Yeah, sure. Be back soon.” They nodded and you sprinted out of the bar and to the nearest bus stop, taking the first bus to the suburbs.

You rushed there as fast as you possibly could, considering you weren’t the one driving the bus. Once you exited the vehicle, you started running like your whole life depended on it. Your lungs burnt and your legs cramped, but you had to tell them, before the night is through. If something ever happened to them, you wouldn’t forgive yourself.

As your hand reached the front door, you started banging on it loudly and frantically.

“Deacon, open the door, please!” You heard the familiar German accent say. “Thank you!”

The door swung open to reveal Deacon’s already annoyed look. But when he saw that it was you, who was knocking his face soured even more and he immediately tried to close the door back, but you put your boot in the way, to make it stay open.

“Deacon! Stop acting like a child! This is important!” You struggled in the fight for the doorknob, as the young vampire kept trying to shut the door on you. “Come on!”

“We banned you from coming here, mortal!” He hissed.

“Vampire slayers are planning to kill you, morons!” You yelled in final desperation, as you realised that you’re losing this ‘door fight’.

Deacon suddenly let the door open and Vladislav’s head popped from the staircase. Seems you were a bit too loud with your statements.

“Repeat that?” Brücke stepped back.

“There is…” you panted slightly from running and battling at the door. “There is a group of vampire slayers in Wellington, who are planning on raiding your house as soon as the sun goes up. They are really skilled, I’m not joking. You guys need to leave this house right now. Go to Boogie Wonderland or crash at Jackie’s place or mine, I don’t care. Just don’t stay here, I beg you…”

“How do you know that?” Vlad descended to the first floor.

“I accidentally met them at the bar and they told me all this stuff, I…” You collected yourself. “I know, you don’t want to trust me. You don’t have to. But this is really serious, I would never lie about this.”

You looked behind their backs at the two gleaming eyes watching your interaction from the shadows in the hallway. You wondered if you should greet him or let it be. You shook off both thoughts and continued talking.

“It’s four am. They will attack at five, so they are probably already on the way, ‘cause getting here takes a while.” You mumbled.

“Then the whole thing about running away wouldn’t really work, would it?” Deacon shrugged.

“I mean, we could try. I don’t know if staying here would do anything for you, guys.”

“Okay, then we need a plan.” Viago finally appeared from the shadows, briefly meeting your gaze, then immediately looking away.

It’s been almost half an hour and no working plan came. You had dumb ideas of pretending to be dead, killing the slayers instead, leaving them warning signs and other ideas, that were half-baked to say the least. So many powers and yet so little clue how to use it in defence against professionals. This sucked in the most literal way possible.

So you did the only reasonable thing: blew out all the candles in the house, closed the windows and turned off the lights, then hid in the basement. Might seem cowardly, but it’s really not. It’s called survival instinct and vampires had a good grasp on it. If they didn’t, they would probably not stay alive for hundreds of years.

The basement was cold and dusty. Bones and rotting flesh accentuated the disgustingly dirty floor, that you found yourself sitting on. The four of you sat in silence, closely listening to every little noise that came from upstairs. You didn’t know, if it was instinctive or not, but when the sound of a broke window on the first floor reached your ears, Viago moved a bit closer to you.

“This isn’t how I wanted to die…” you whispered.

“Why would you die? It’s not like they can burn you with a crucifix.” Viago answered even less audibly.

“No, but they can stab me with a sharp wooden stake, you know? Humans are not immune to this shit. Plus, I betrayed those guys and they are unhinged lunatics. If they find me, I’m pretty sure they’ll kill me too.” You sighed and silence fell again. There were distant sounds of doors being opened and furniture turned over. “Viago, I’m sorry if I made you feel, like I wasn’t taking our relationship seriously.” He turned to you and even in the dark lighting, you saw his eyes widen. “I’m just not ready for marriage. It’s a big step. Too big for me right now, but… I love you and I really want to be with you and see how it goes. Would you mind… trying again? If we make it out alive, that is.”

Before you could fully finish, his cold lips met yours and you found yourself melting under his soft and gentle caressing of your cheek. He pulled away and left one last little peck, before quietly giggling to himself.

“If this is how I die, maybe it’s not so bad.” He held your hand.

“It’s all great and I’m happy for you, but can you not do this shit now? Even the rats in our basement feel uncomfortable.” Deacon grumbled.

“Right…” you shut up. “Wait… I have an idea. Listen here.” You leaned in and started explaining your very simple, but working scheme.

Upstairs, the whole house was turned inside out. Closets opened, with all the stuff scattered on the floor, the fridge partially taken apart, their caskets stood open, their books on the old carpets. They searched every corner and didn’t find a single vampire, like they planned. Mosquito Collectors were about to go into the basement, when you climbed out of it.

“So, did you find anything, guys?” You casually said, dusting off your pants.

“No… How come you are here? We thought you left.” Cassie said.

“Oh, no way. I thought we were going separately.” You shrugged.

“We literally had a minivan rented out. Okay, whatever. Did you find anything?”

“Not a soul. The basement is empty, so is the attic. Found a few cool books in their library though. They probably left a while ago, because the place seems slovenly.”

“Hmm… You sure the basement is empty?”

“Yeah, yeah. Checked it several times. You don’t have to-“ She walked right past you.

“Oh, I do have to.” Cassandra went downstairs into the cellar.

She lit up a battery powered flashlight and started to examine the dark room. Aside from some creepy remains on the floor and a bunch of rats, shivering from cold in the corner, there was absolutely nothing to see. Empty. She returned upstairs.

“Fine, whatever. Sorry guys, this raid was unsuccessful. But that’s just our first step! Next time we will get those bloodsuckers. Let’s go home.” They all headed for the door, but you stayed. “Are you going, [reader]?”

“Oh, it’s okay, go on without me. I want to take a few pictures for my blog. It will take a while.”

“Well… sun is already up, so I guess you’re safe. Don’t take too long though. Precautions, precautions, precautions.” She pointed her finger at you and you nodded back. “Bye, [reader].”

“Bye, bye!” You waved at the rest as they left the house one by one. When you saw their car drive away, you quickly returned to the basement. “All clear!” You smiled and leaned down to pick up the three rats and hide them in the inside pockets of your jacket.

Going to the second floor, you first put Deacon into his closet, quickly closing the lid to avoid sunlight. You heard a little thud of him turning back into his human form. Then you went into Vlad’s room, closed the blinds tightly and let him go as well. Finally, you made your way downstairs into Viago’s room.

It was a mess. Probably one of the rooms that took the worst damage. You could imagine how upset he is, since neatness is the thing that your dandy is very keen on. You shut the embroidered curtains and gently placed the mouse in the big coffin. It went up in a cloud of smoke and sun transformed into the lovely German you know.

He looked at you with his big brown eyes, that you swore had their own galaxy inside, and smiled. Smiled so affectionately, you felt like there was no four month break in your relationship.

“I’m sorry for rushing you. I just… I guess I shouldn’t have jumped to conclusions. It’s funny how after all these years I keep acting on impulses.” He chuckled sheepishly.

“Can I sleep with you today? I didn’t sleep through night whatsoever…”

Viago moved, leaving enough space for you to fit in perfectly. You perched inside it and enveloped your limbs around his lanky body. He carefully closed the lid and let the peaceful darkness pass you by.