#it’s just a replay of a lot of memories i can’t forgot but this time it’s not just memories and has a very much physical component which is

[lemonlover1110]

𝐏𝐫𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐲 𝐋𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐥𝐞 𝐋𝐢𝐚𝐫

Satoru Gojo

Pairing: Satoru Gojo x f!Reader

Summary: Satoru is your best friend's boyfriend, you shouldn't like him.

Warnings: MDNI, Angst, Cheating (on Satoru, not from reader), Smut, Oral Sex (m. receiving), Vaginal Sex, Daddy Kink, Spanking, Fluff, Hair descriptions for reader

*This is another commission for @mew4-ever18, y'all can thank her again! I hope you guys enjoy because it's truly a wild but fun ride🙂‍↕️

Discord +18 - Twitter - Ko-Fi

You’re not sure why you sit with them instead of just being in your room. They’re here for your best friend, not you. You have no business being with them. It feels like you’re in high school all over again, sticking out like a sore thumb amongst them.

Every other night you’re fine with them being here, but tonight you’re out of it. Your eyes keep darting to Satoru and Ali, both sitting so close together that you almost feel upset. Ali is your best friend– She’s been by your side for as long as you can remember. She’s like a sister… Yet you have conflicting feelings.

Whenever you look at her and Satoru together, you feel upset. A feeling that is quickly followed by remorse. You shouldn’t like your best friend’s boyfriend; alas, you can’t control your feelings. Even if you do act on your feelings (you only have a tiny crush either way, it’s no big deal), he wouldn’t reciprocate them. Ali is simply stunning– It’s not that you’re ugly, but your whole life you’ve watched her get praised for her beauty. She simply stands out while you’re just there. Just like this moment.

“Hey, are you okay?” You hear your name from Satoru’s mouth, interrupting you from your trance of thoughts. Ali giggles, whispering something in his ear which makes the man chuckle. You unintentionally roll your eyes before nodding.

“Oh my god, guys. I forgot to tell you.” Ali begins, drawing everyone’s attention. There’s a grin on her face as she says, “It’s mine and Satoru’s third month anniversary.”

“Woah, for a moment I thought that you had something important to say.” Suguru, who sits beside you, comments. Ali clicks her tongue, sticking out her middle finger at the man. Suguru chuckles in response.

“It’s important! Satoru is going to propose soon.” She announces, sticking up her left hand. Satoru’s eyes widen, and he scoots away from her on the couch. Though they’re details that you don’t notice. You’re just staring at Ali’s ring finger, knowing that it’ll be adorned by a rock soon enough. You know she’s very influential, and gets what she wants in the end.

“She’s joking.” Satoru quickly clarifies but you know that it’s only a matter of time before Ali gets her way. In all of your years of knowing Ali, you’ve never seen her get turned down. She isn’t serious now, but she’s dropping hints that she wants it to happen soon; if she doesn’t get her way soon, the relationship will come to an end. 

“I guess.” Ali chuckles before kissing Satoru’s cheek. It makes you take a deep breath and look away once again. You make brief eye contact with Shoko before quickly looking away as an uneasiness takes over you. You hear Ali ask, “It won’t hurt to think about it, right?”

“You’re still young, you have a lot of time.” Shoko chimes in, earning a glare from your best friend. That wasn’t the input she needed, therefore, Ali looks at you.

“It wouldn’t.” You force the words out of your mouth. You can barely look at Ali’s face. Throughout the day whenever you look at her you just think of last night. You left your room to get some water and heard a rather obscene scene. You are rightfully uncomfortable… But you’re also sad. 

You know you have no right to feel sad about this, but you can’t help the feeling. Every time you look at her you just can hear her moan his name over and over again while he groans from pleasure. You froze in place, and heard more than you had to last night. You felt sick, and that memory replaying in your head doesn’t help you.

Your breath hitches as you hear all of them laugh. You look around the room, feeling as if it gets smaller by the second. You can’t stand it. You stand up from the couch, and awkwardly smile. You look back and forth between your best friend and her boyfriend before you tell them,

“I’m going to lay down. I have a lot to do tomorrow.”

No one says anything, letting you leave the room without a protest. It’s not like you fit in the group either way. You feel like absolute shit, but it’s not their fault. Your personality just doesn’t match with theirs, and that’s not on them.

You lock yourself in your room and immediately bury your head in a pillow, letting the tears flow. An overwhelming flux of emotions flows through you. You like to think of yourself as confident, brave, and strong but right now you’re simply the worst. 

You shouldn’t like your best friend’s boyfriend and you shouldn’t be upset at the fact that you heard them have sex the night before. Ali’s been with you through thick and thin, and this is how you’re repaying her.

Meanwhile, Satoru is staring at your bedroom door before looking back at Ali. He asks, “Shouldn’t you check up on her? She’s acting weird tonight.”

“That’s just how she is. She’s always a little weird.” Ali rolls her eyes, and a slight frown comes on Satoru’s face. Maybe he shouldn’t overstep, Ali knows you better than anyone but the comment still feels odd.

“Isn’t that rude? She’s your best friend.” Satoru reminds her, and she clicks her tongue.

“I didn’t mean it like that.”

Satoru is in his mother’s hospital room, watching as the one that gave birth to him sleeps. Suguru sits down next to him, afraid to make conversation since he doesn’t want to wake the woman up. Suguru is just there for emotional support.

Satoru doesn’t know what happened. He was on his way to visit his girlfriend, and his father suddenly called. His mother was ill, and they were on the way to the hospital. And here he is now… Waiting to talk to her. They’ve been slipping her in and out of the room to run tests on her, and the moments that she’s in the room she can’t stay awake.

Satoru has been spending most of his days at the hospital for the past week. He’s sick of it, but he’s not leaving his mother alone– She wouldn’t be alone either way, his father is also practically living in the hospital, but Satoru still won’t leave. He texts Ali to kill time, though the conversations quickly get boring and he has to frequently change the topic.

“I’m going to get something to eat.” Suguru says, standing up from his seat. He’s been glancing at Satoru’s phone, snooping in a conversation that doesn’t concern him whatsoever. A conversation that’s too boring for him to keep reading, which is a lot to say.

“I’ll come with.” Satoru stands up as well, following Suguru’s lead. Satoru cracks his knuckles as they leave the room, commenting, “I’m so bored in there.”

“I saw you talking to Ali–” Suguru quickly bites his tongue when he realizes that he’s admitted to snooping. He can’t shut up now, he’s already admitted to his crime, he might as well say what’s on his mind. Suguru throws his arm over Satoru’s shoulder, slightly leaning on him as they walk to the elevator. “She’s pretty, bro. I’ll give you that but… She’s kind of superficial.”

“Why are you staring at my phone?” Satoru side-eyes his best friend, and Suguru shrugs. Satoru rolls his eyes at the lack of response before quickly defending his girlfriend. “You know she’s better in person.”

“She’s not. She only ever talks about herself, and it’s never something interesting.” Suguru points out, which makes a frown appear on Satoru’s face. That isn’t true at all– At least Satoru hasn’t noticed and he’s quick to pick up on stuff. Suguru continues trying to get his point across, “And I know she has… What, two million followers on Instagram? Like yeah, she’s pretty but apart from that she has nothing.”

“She has other qualities.” Satoru says as they both get to the elevator. He presses on the downwards arrow button, and they begin the long wait for either elevator.

“Like what? Please name one.” Suguru responds, and Satoru takes a minute to think about it. The elevator opens, and the men step aside to let the people out before entering the lift. The conversation dies down at that moment since it’s awkward to talk about Ali’s lack of personality when three other people surround them.

When they get to the first floor, Suguru brings up the topic again. Satoru’s annoyed, unwilling to listen at this point, and it’s written all over his face but Suguru does not care, “You deserve better. She’s not the type you’d want to marry.”

“How would you even know that?” Satoru scoffs, and Suguru rolls his eyes. Suguru knows that Satoru isn’t going to actually listen. Satoru is defensive about this, and Suguru can’t entirely blame him. Ali is still his girlfriend regardless, Suguru knows that he’d react the same way if Satoru began to bad talk Shoko.

“She treats her best friend like shit. She treats someone that she’s known her whole life like shit, and you think that’s the woman you should marry?” Suguru answers, which makes Satoru roll his eyes.

“Let’s just drop it.” Satoru ends up saying, and Suguru sighs defeatedly.

“Yeah. Let’s just eat something.” Suguru agrees. He checks the time and realizes he has to get going soon, “I’m leaving you after, I’m going to see Shoko.”

After Suguru leaves, Satoru is left to go back upstairs alone. He doesn’t mind the solitude, it’s not like he was talking to Suguru either way. He’ll probably ponder on Suguru’s words, and try to make an excuse for his girlfriend. Though if Satoru is being honest… He doubts the relationship is going to last long. He’s turned a one night stand into a regular thing– But maybe there’s a future in the relationship. He likes to be optimistic about things, even if it’s a relationship that doesn’t have much of a future.

“Satoru!” He’s met by a voice that catches him off guard. He’s a little surprised to be met by his girlfriend, but a smile comes to his face as he sees her face. Though the smile fades when he looks over her outfit.

Satoru isn’t one to police what his girlfriend wears. He’s fine with whatever that makes her happy. He’s not the type to get jealous or control that aspect of her life… But he recognizes when an outfit is inappropriate for an occasion.

She wears a red cut out dress, as if she’s about to go out clubbing. She smiles brightly at him, and Satoru can’t help but feel bad. She’s a little ditzy sometimes. She doesn’t mean any harm.

“What are you doing here?” Satoru sounds rather awkward, something that she doesn’t seem to notice. Satoru would be more welcoming if she looked a little more decent for the place. 

“I just want to visit my mother-in-law.” She says which makes Satoru cringe. He won’t correct her, he knows she’s just joking. He thinks she’s just joking. She gives him a tight hug, something that a few minutes ago he thought would be comforting; it’s anything but… But it’s not her fault. 

“She’s sleeping.” Satoru answers as he pulls away. Ali pouts, mimicking a sad expression. It feels like she’s mimicking considering how she exaggerates it. No– Satoru is just overthinking everything after his conversation with Suguru. The dumbass was trying to brainwash Satoru.

“Do you want to go out to dinner then?” She asks, as if it’s the only reason why she’s here. Satoru shakes his head which makes a slight frown appear on the woman’s face.

“I already ate something at the cafeteria.” Satoru responds. 

“I’ll go get something then. I’m hungry.” She replies, and Satoru tries not to question it. Did she come here for the sole purpose of stealing Satoru’s attention? No, he’s just letting Suguru get to his head. Though he’d admit that it’s odd for her to show up at the hospital and immediately ask him out to eat.

She bites down her lip before asking Satoru, “Do you want to come with?”

“I’m going to my mom’s room. You can come back after you’re finished.” Satoru answers, and she rolls her eyes. Satoru is going to pretend like he didn’t catch that weird reaction. It’s just his mind playing tricks on him. She leaves without a word, letting Satoru walk back to his mother’s room to wait by her side.

Satoru is sure he’s just reading into things as he sits down besides his mother once again. Stupid Suguru got in his head. The idiot has a way to mess with Satoru, it works ninety percent of the time. Though Satoru knows that he can’t entirely blame Suguru since the man just mentioned certain behaviors that Satoru himself noticed. Ali is quite a bitch with you, and if Satoru were anyone else, he’d give you the advice to cut her off.

Perhaps you’re just sticking around because you’re roommates with Ali. He doesn’t know the extent of your relationship either, he’s barely even scratched the surface so it’s not a matter that he has an opinion on. Ali is rising to fame as an influencer, and she’s letting the attention get to her head so maybe this is just some new behavior on her end. 

Satoru begins to question every little thing about Ali in the span of thirty minutes. Maybe she really is superficial like Suguru claims– Who is Satoru even trying to convince? Ali is most definitely superficial, he’s known about this since their very first date.

He grabs his phone to distract himself, he’s currently questioning his relationship because of Suguru’s dumb words. He can’t let the little shit get to his head, Suguru loves to do this every time Satoru has a girlfriend and it always ends up with Satoru breaking up with his girl.

Satoru’s eyes narrow as he sees a new story from Ali. His thumb hovers over the screen as the man builds up the courage to click on it. She’s posing seductively for the camera, and Satoru sighs as he sees the story from a couple of minutes ago. Maybe it’s just a video from a couple of weeks ago; she’s just posting content to keep her followers engaged.

Satoru taps on the screen, seeing she’s posted multiple things in the last thirty minutes. Before getting to the hospital and while she’s clearly in the building. Just five minutes ago she posted a mirror selfie in the hospital bathroom, and Satoru can’t help but frown. She’s a bit ditzy but she can’t be this unaware, right?

It clicks in his head at that moment. Suguru isn’t trying to brainwash him, he’s just pointing out what’s fairly obvious. Ali isn’t here to actually check up on Satoru’s mom, she’s here for another reason. She just wants Satoru’s attention.

He stands up from his chair and walks out of the room. He can’t sit there knowing she’s making a fool out of herself, and in the process, embarrassing him. He has to talk to her, ask for her to leave before she makes a complete and utter fool out of him as well.

Satoru gets to the cafeteria quickly, his eyes searching around the place for his girlfriend. Luckily, he doesn’t have to look for too long before his eyes land on her as she poses for a photo. She’s treating the hospital cafeteria as a photo studio, he can’t look at her for too long without embarrassment filling him inside. His eyes don’t wander too far before landing on an all too familiar face.

Satoru’s breath hitches, gulping as he stares back at his father. His father’s eyes then fall on Ali. Satoru just should turn around and not acknowledge her at all– If the situation is embarrassing now, he can only imagine it’s ten times worse if his father finds out that this oblivious woman is Satoru’s girlfriend.

“Pookie! Come here!” Ali yells once her eyes fall on Satoru, making it loud enough for everyone to hear. Satoru can still turn around and pretend like he doesn’t know her, especially since he sees his father’s brow furrows. Yeah… It’s best if Satoru turns around and apologizes later.

“Satoru! Are you ignoring me?!” She calls out as she walks over to the man. Satoru freezes in his spot, making eye contact with his father who shakes his head disappointedly. 

“Allison, now it’s not the time.” Satoru says through gritted teeth, not being able to even look at her. 

“What? What are you saying?” She sounds offended, and frankly, she should be. Satoru looks ashamed to be near her because he is. He feels all eyes on him since Ali isn’t exactly someone that blends into the crowd. Is this what it feels to be self-conscious? 

Satoru grabs her hand and practically drags her out of the place. She posters him, demanding he tell her what’s going on the entire time until they’re finally outside of the building. Satoru lets go and she crosses her arms, huffing and puffing as Satoru runs a hand through his hair.

He can’t lose his cool.

“Why are you here?” He asks, taking a deep breath to ensure he remains calm and collected. 

“I told you–” She begins only to be quickly interrupted by Satoru.

“Why are you actually here? Actually. First of all you come here looking like– That. You tell me you want to see my mother but immediately ask me to go out and get something together. Instead of coming back up you begin to smugly post on your social media,” Satoru is too frustrated to care about the words that leave his lips. “You’re posting for your millions of followers while you’re in a hospital. You’re supposed to be visiting my mother and you look like this.”

“What’s wrong with my dress?” She’s trying to play dumb, looking down at the attire that is clearly inappropriate for the occasion. She’s ignoring everything else, knowing that she can easily win the argument if she only focuses on one detail.

“For fuck’s sake, Allison. This is a hospital not a club. You’re here to visit my sick mother, or what? Did you have other plans tonight?” Satoru argues and she scoffs. 

“Excuse me for trying to be a good girlfriend. For the record, I do want to check up on my future mother-in-law. Next time I’ll just leave you alone.” She tries to sound threatening which makes Satoru roll his eyes. Before he can get another word in, she begins to walk away. She’s not going back inside, opting to walk to her car instead. 

Satoru doesn’t care to stop her, instead he’s agreeing with everything Suguru mentioned. Maybe he should reconsider everything about this relationship. But first… He has to go back inside and face his father.

As Ali and Satoru’s six month mark comes by, you notice that Satoru comes around less often. Satoru, who would come around every few days, barely shows up every two weeks. You think it started after Ali began to joke about getting engaged, but you know why Satoru is distant. It doesn’t take a genius to figure it out. 

You remember catching her before going out, telling you that she’s about to go meet Satoru at the hospital– Before you could even question her outfit she told you that she was hoping he’d take her out to eat. It’s shocking that he didn’t break up with her right then and there, but you guess that he likes her so much that he can’t bring himself to end things. 

Though as you walk past her bedroom, you hear that some things don’t change. No matter how bad she screws things up, this detail will never change. They could be a little less loud though, they’re not alone. Or they could simply go to Satoru’s apartment since he lives alone. But no, they choose to come here.

You should probably cover your ears as you walk to the kitchen to get some water, but you’re unphased by this. It’s not the first time it happens, and it certainly won’t be the last. You won’t lie and say that you aren’t uncomfortable by the sound of it, and perhaps you’re searching for an apartment to move away soon because of how upsetting it is. But you’re slowly getting used to it.

“Oh, fuck! It’s so good!” She moans and you let out a sigh. She has no consideration for you. It’s fine, you’ll go back to your room and put on some headphones to block it out. But you freeze in your steps when you hear a voice that is not the one of her boyfriend. 

You feel as if your heart is about to beat out of your chest as you come to the realization– But no, you’re not going to get involved. You grab your glass of water and walk back to your bedroom, locking the door.

You plop down on the bed, grabbing your phone to check on your social media. You have a feeling that Ali isn’t there with Satoru, and you want to check what he’s doing tonight. Satoru usually posts what he’s doing for the night in the most subtle ways. If he hasn’t posted anything, then he’s probably with Ali and you should ignore the whole situation; but you’re quickly proven right when you see Satoru posting with Suguru. 

The pictures could be from a different night though, but you notice that they were posted just a few minutes ago. Your eyes are wide, hands shaky as you stare at the picture. Regardless if they’re from nights ago or tonight, Satoru couldn’t have posted this while he’s getting busy with Ali. 

You turn off your phone and close your eyes at the realization that your best friend is cheating on her boyfriend.

You try to convince yourself that the previous night is a misunderstanding. You’re just getting the situation wrong, Ali would not do that to her boyfriend. But your best friend quickly proves you wrong when you walk out of your bedroom and see a random man in your kitchen, looking most indecent. He’s covered in love bites, confirming that you weren’t wrong in your assumptions

You almost feel like a prude for covering your eyes when you look in his direction– You would think she would try to hide it the best she could, but she doesn’t care. She’s letting him walk around freely in your apartment, even though you know she’s awake.

“Allison.” You knock on her bedroom door, and within a few seconds she opens it. Her sandy blonde hair is neatly kept, letting you know that she’s been awake for a while. She’s had enough time to get ready so she’s certainly had enough time to kick the random man that’s in your house out.

“Hi…” She bites her lip, looking guilty as ever. Just one swift look at you, and she knows that you’re not happy with her. She grabs your hand and pulls you inside before shutting the door. She doesn’t want her loverboy to hear what she has to say.

“Ali, what did you do?” You’re stern, making it clear that this isn’t a situation that you’re willing to laugh about. Maybe if Satoru deserved it you could turn a blind eye to this, but you can’t. Satoru is a great boyfriend to her.

“I’m sorry.” Tears begin to well up in her eyes as she mutters an apology. An apology that should be to Satoru and not you. “I don’t know what came over me… I told him I loved him and he just– Just ignored me.”

“Ali, that’s no reason to betray your boyfriend.” You argue, and she buries her face between her hands. She cries, only making you feel guilty for even questioning her actions. You cross your arms and look away, refusing to feel guilty for her disloyalty.

“Please don’t tell him– I’m sorry. It’ll never happen again.” She pleads and you feel a heavy weight settle in your heart. No, you should tell him. Satoru doesn’t deserve this. 

Ali wraps her arms around you, resting her face on your shoulder as she continues to sob. “Please, you’re the only person I can count on.”

“Ali–” You begin, but you cut yourself off. You take a deep breath, before agreeing, “Fine. I’ll keep your secret.”

Guilt is eating you alive. The very next day, Satoru comes over and you can’t look him in the eye. You ignore him the entire time, and he notices something is up with you, but he won’t question it. If you don’t want to talk to him, then it’s your own issue. 

You feel like the responsibility of confessing to him is on your shoulders. But you don’t want to betray your best friend by doing so. She’s made her own decisions about her relationship, if you snitch the blame shouldn’t fall on you… But you still feel like it isn’t your position to tell. You’re not friends with Satoru at all, you’re friends with Ali. You feel like you’d be betraying her, not only because she’s your best friend but also because you happen to like her boyfriend. 

You’re nearly driving yourself insane as you think about it. Ultimately, you decide to stay out of it. Satoru is going to find out in his own way eventually; you’re a firm believer that the truth always comes to light eventually, and in this situation you refuse to be the catalyst. And you certainly don’t want to lose your friendship by telling him.

That is until the doorbell rings, a little later than usual on a Tuesday night. Ali isn’t home, leaving you alone to welcome the uninvited guest.

“Satoru, what are you doing here?” You question, surprised at his presence. He should know that Ali is at a brand event right now, after all, she’s gloating about it on any and every social media platform. “Ali isn’t here right now. She won’t be here in a while.”

“Actually, I’m here to talk to you.” He confesses, and you feel your stomach churn. You feel nauseous as guilt takes over you. Does he know? Is that why he’s here? He’s most definitely here to question you, and you feel nervous. 

“Oh… What is it?” You try to smile to hide the fact that you’re freaking out. But it comes off as disingenuous, and Satoru is not an idiot that won’t notice it. He’ll choose to ignore it though.

“Can I come in?” He asks, and you move to the side, inviting him to the apartment. He steps inside, and looks around the place. There’s a different vibe to the apartment when Ali is gone… It feels oddly comforting. 

“Do you want anything to drink?” You offer as you shut the door. But he shakes his head, and you feel oddly relieved by that answer. He’s not going to be here for a long time, so he’s not going to bring it up.

Before saying anything, he takes a seat on the couch. He looks around the place for another minute, and he notices that you choose to stand instead of taking a seat. You couldn’t make it any more obvious. He clears his throat before speaking up, “Is everything okay between us?”

“Yeah! Yeah, why wouldn’t they be?” You’re stumbling over words, making your statement sound false. He’s quick to spot the lie, and a frown comes to his face. You can’t keep lying to him, you know.

“Why–”

“She’s cheating on you!” You blurt out, and to your surprise, he looks unphased. You feel the need to explain yourself after his lack of reaction, a response from your nerves. “I swore I was going to stay out of it when I heard her with her friend last week– I thought it was you two again but then I realized that it wasn’t you, and I couldn’t look you in the eye after it. I didn’t want to say anything because she’s my friend but you’re a really good guy–”

And as you ramble, you fail to notice that he’s stood up and he’s taken your hands into his. He’s squeezing your hands to make you calm down as you explain your side of the story. You’re not guilty in any of this, you’re just too damn good of a friend.

“Hey, hey. I’m not mad at you.” He cuts you off when he realizes you’re on the verge of tears. If he’s being honest, he was expecting something like this to happen with her. He’s been waiting for the right moment to end things, and luckily he has the best excuse now.

“I should’ve told you sooner, I’m sorry.” You still apologize. You feel your face get warm as you realize he’s holding your hands, making you jerk them out of his grasp. “But please, don’t tell her I told you.”

“I promise I won’t.” He responds. “Thank you so much for telling me.”

“Satoru, please don’t tell her I told you.” You ask of him once again, and he nods in response. And though the weight is lifted off your shoulders, another worry begins to settle in. But you try to convince yourself that you’ll be fine. If this marks the end of your friendship with Ali, then so be it. In the end, you did the right thing.

Satoru messages Ali on a Friday night, making sure that you’re out of the apartment before coming over. The message gets Ali excited since she thinks everything is going back to normal, especially since Satoru has been acting weirder than usual. The honeymoon stage is supposed to last longer than six months, but for some reason their relationship is going through a dry spell. 

Ali begins to get ready for what she expects is going to be a steamy night. She checks the time every five minutes, waiting for Satoru to finally show up. While she promised you that she wouldn’t do it again, she’s not the type to keep a promise; especially when her needs aren’t being met. 

Meanwhile, Satoru decides how he’s going to break the news… Should he be gentle? He won’t lie and say that he isn’t butthurt about her disloyalty. He’s been thinking about ending things with her for a while, but it hurts his ego to know that she cheated on him. Maybe he should be harsh with her, after all, cheating is not a mistake one should take lightly. And Satoru is certainly mad at the offense.

He’s set on making this as quick and easy as possible, so he’ll be calm with her. He’s grown to not care for her, so being angry will just waste his time. Sure, his ego is hurt but not enough to waste minutes of precious time. He takes a deep breath before ringing the doorbell.

“Pookie! I’m so happy that you’re here!” Ali exclaims immediately as she opens the door. She throws her arms over Satoru, hugging him tightly. Satoru does not return the hug, something that she doesn’t seem to notice.

They step inside, and Satoru awkwardly places his hands in his pockets. He’s not unfamiliar with a breakup, but it’s still awkward. Ali walks to the kitchen to get something to drink for him. Something sweet, just how he likes it.

“I’ve been thinking about you so much. I miss you.” She begins, and Satoru thinks about how to lay it on gently. She begins to tell him about a brand trip that she’s been invited to, and all the magnificent details. 

“Here.” She smiles brightly at him, handing him something to drink. Satoru hesitantly takes it from her hand, swirling the drink in his hand but not daring to bring it up to his lips. She takes a seat on the couch, waiting for him to join her. Satoru remains standing though. “You’ve been so quiet lately.”

“Yeah…” Satoru sounds awkward, but he knows that she won’t pick up on it. Satoru walks to the kitchen to put the drink on the counter, he’s not thirsty right now. 

“Is everything okay?” Ali asks, and Satoru slowly walks back to her. Her eyes keep going back and forth between him and the couch, but Satoru is opting to stand.

“My friend saw you with another guy in a compromising situation.” He finally admits, making her eyes go wide. A simple look at her, and Satoru knows that she’s ready to deny the situation. He has no proof, why is he questioning her loyalty?

“I– I don’t know what you’re talking about.” She begins, immediately giving it away that she’s guilty. She’s as pale as a ghost, something that almost earns a chuckle from Satoru in the very tense situation. He forgets about his hurt ego when he sees her reaction.

“Don’t lie to me. He said everything I need to know, and I trust him.” Satoru changes a certain detail, one that will take away all suspicions that would surround you. She’s taken back by this, and she’s not sure how to respond. She stands up from her seat, taking a step near the man.

“I only did it because you–” She’s getting defensive over her wrongdoings. Sure, she did it but she had a damn good reason– At least that’s what she thinks. “I told you I loved you and you–”

“I can’t tell you I love you when I don’t.” Satoru cuts her off, and her face gets red from embarrassment. She’s still going to hold her head high and defend her actions, even if there’s no good explanation for her decisions. “I was going to end things with you eventually, but what you’ve done is unforgivable. I liked the possibility of us being friends but… I don’t think I can do that either.”

“Satoru, we can talk about this.” Ali begins when she realizes that Satoru won’t care for any reasoning. He’s set on ending things. She’s stepping toward him, and when she’s within reach, she grabs his hands. “We can work things out, let’s not throw everything away–”

“You threw everything away. There’s no way in hell I’d get back with you after you cheated.” He interrupts her once again. It’s just like Suguru said, she’s very superficial. “You told me you loved me, yet you went with the first guy you could find because I needed some time. What does that say about your character or your feelings toward me? Do you even care about me?” 

“I do! I was just– Feeling so low. I was tipsy and made a mistake.” She tries to explain her side, and Satoru takes his hands from her grasp. He doesn’t want to spend another minute here to hear stupid excuses for horrible actions– Horrible actions that hurt his ego but he doesn’t care about as much as he should. He was over with the relationship for a while now.

“I don’t care for a reason. This is over.” Satoru says, taking a step backwards. “Please don’t make this harder than it has to be. We’re both mature enough to not make this a bigger deal than it has to be.”

She opens her mouth to speak, but Satoru walks away before she can get a word out. He doesn’t care enough to hear what she has in mind, so she’s forced to swallow her words.

You’ve never seen Ali as devastated as she is now. She’s crying on your shoulder, telling you how much she regrets her actions. It’s good to hear that she’s learned from her mistakes, but you feel extremely guilty knowing that your best friend is heartbroken because you couldn’t keep a secret. Deep down, you know you did the right thing but still feel bad while your best friend is sobbing over her now ex-boyfriend.

“I don’t know what I’m going to do– He was so perfect.” She sobs, and you hear your heart breaking. You should’ve just bit your tongue about it. 

You have conflicting feelings for Satoru, but you were rooting for them. You’d never wish harm on your best friend, and you didn’t tell him with the hopes that they’d break up. Cheating isn’t something that you can keep quiet about, even if it’s a mistake from your best friend.

“You’ll be okay, Ali. He wasn’t worth it.” You embrace her, hand rubbing her back to soothe her. You don’t believe the words leave your lips, but you’ll say just about anything to comfort her. You know her, she’s more upset about the fact that she got dumped than her so-called love for Satoru. 

“You’re such a liar! He was perfect!” She cries, and you can’t argue with it. You’re at a loss of words– What’s the next step that you should take? You can’t reprimand her and remind her that these are the consequences of her actions. “He’s blocked me everywhere. I’ve been trying to message him on social media but I can’t find his accounts.”

“Maybe you should let this go. There’s no way to go back from this.” You try to tell her, but your words fall on deaf ears. You know her, she’s not listening to anything she doesn’t want to hear. Ali wants something, and she’ll get it no matter the cost. 

She’s looking up at you with glossy eyes, desperate to get what she wants. You know the look in her eyes. She’s determined to get back with him, and she needs your help. Before she can mutter something out, you speak, “No. I’m not getting involved.”

“Please– Please, please, please. I don’t know what I’d do without you.” She pleads, putting her hands together to beg. You look away, not willing to fall for her trap. You feel the guilt of telling Satoru, slowly eat you alive; you know you did the right thing, but why do you feel so bad?

“There’s plenty of fish in the sea, and you’re a pretty girl. He’s not all that.” You answer, once again not believing a single word you say. You have to make her drop this absurd idea of getting back with Satoru though, and you’re willing to make up any lie.

She takes her head off your shoulder, dramatically crossing her arms and pouting like a child. You let out a sigh, knowing that this stupid idea of getting back with Satoru is not getting dropped any time soon.

“If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you like him.” She murmurs, and you feel your face get hot. You don’t say anything because you’d surely give away your feelings by uttering a single word. 

“We’ll talk again when you grow up.” You stand up from the couch, planning to leave her behind to sort out her intense emotions. But just as you’re about to walk away, she speaks up,

“Please, do this one thing for me and then I’ll leave you alone.” And you look back at her, the desperation in her eyes getting to you. She’s in this position because of you. The least you can do is help her out.

An exasperated sigh leaves your lips before you mutter out, “Fine.”

Ali has an insane power over you, and it’s clear when she strings you along in her ridiculous plan. Though there is no plan, she just wants you to show up at Satoru’s place and beg. She can’t show up anymore since he threatened her with a restraining order (thinking about it, you’re not sure why you agreed to come), so she pushed you to show up. 

Though you aren’t exactly doing what she wants you to do.

You texted Satoru in the morning, asking him if you could meet up to talk. Surprisingly, he agreed. You have no idea how to proceed though. How will you even bring up the topic without getting completely turned down?

Your mind is racing to find the answer as you sit down outside the café. You’re bouncing your leg, feeling your nerves rise as you wait for Satoru’s arrival. Ali is inside, trying to hide as her stupid plan unravels. You’re like her puppet, and you fail to notice.

“Hi.” You’re startled by a welcoming voice. You look up to find Satoru with a subtle smile on his face. You stand up to greet him, though he assures you it isn’t necessary. 

His eyes look you up and down, and your face gets hot at the mere thought that he’s checking you out– No, it’s absurd. He wouldn’t be into you in any way. Ali is his type, and you’re nothing like her.

“I’m going in. Do you want anything? I heard you also like sweet stuff.” Satoru offers, and you’re about to shake your head since you don’t want Satoru spending a single cent on you; but then you remember Ali is also inside.

“I’ll get it, what do you want?” You quickly ask and he raises a brow. 

“It’s fine, I need to walk a little more before stuffing my face.” He replies, and you insist. He lets out a chuckle at your insistence before telling you, “I’ll ignore Allison, you don’t have to worry about it.”

“Oh– You know about that.” You awkwardly respond, and Satoru nods.

“You don’t think I’m dumb enough to not know, right? You’re too good to her, you wouldn’t reach out even though–” He cuts himself off before finishing his sentence. He doesn’t want to embarrass you. “I know you’re here for her.”

“Then why did you come?” You question, earning a shrug for him. Before you can pressure him to give you a proper answer, he walks inside the café to get himself a treat. You take a seat once again, and instead of focusing on your initial goal, your mind fills up with questions. 

He’s not here because he likes you… Right? No. Absolutely not. You quickly shake that thought out of your head. It’s not that you’re not beautiful, but compared to Ali you’re nothing. Your whole life you’ve always come second to her, and this situation is no different. Even if Satoru were to make a move on you, it’d be to get some sort of revenge on Ali. 

As your mind races and goes through every possible scenario, Satoru comes back with a coffee and two treats. He places a delicious dessert in front of you before sitting down across from you. Your eyes get big at the sight of the sweet dish, your mouth salivating. It sure manages to push away any and all thoughts that were flooding your brain. 

“What is this?” You ask, and he looks like he’s fighting back a smile.

“Just thought you might like it.” He acts unbothered. You lick your lips, about to taste the dessert but you end up holding back. You simply watch him sip on his beverage. You’re reminded that you’re here to help Ali out.

“How have you been holding up? Has the breakup been hitting you hard?” You ask, though you know the question is useless. Satoru has never looked better. A great weight has been lifted off his shoulders, and it’s noticeable. 

“Sure, you can say that.” He chuckles, taking the question as a joke. “Give me your proposal. What is she offering?”

“Apologies.” There’s an unintentional mocking tone in your voice. Satoru’s brows raise as he picks up on it, but he quickly assumes that you don’t do it on purpose. “She really is sorry, Satoru. She regrets her decision, and she really misses you.”

“That’s good to hear.” He says, and before you can say anything, he speaks up again, “I still don’t want anything to do with her. You of all people should know that cheating isn’t the only thing that led to this.”

“Ali is a good person… She’s just out of it sometimes.” You defend her, and Satoru laughs. “She misses you so much, and it hurts to see my best friend in this much pain.”

“You’re too good for her.” He replies, and you hate to hear those words. She’s your best friend, you’re not too good for her– You’re just doing everything that a best friend should be doing.

“I’m doing what I should be doing. She loves you, Satoru.” You point out, and he scoffs. She told him that she loves him, but that’s hard to believe. Satoru’s gotten to know Ali, and he knows that she has a certain way with words. She’s not very convincing to Satoru though.

“Why should you be involved in this? You’re a great friend, but she’s not one. If she was, she wouldn’t get you involved in this.” Satoru responds, and you sigh. You don’t want to begin that conversation, mainly because you know there’s some truth to his words. 

“I should get involved because she’s suffering.” You argue, and Satoru wants to laugh. Suffering, right. She’s too self-absorbed to care about someone else. 

“Can’t she just get a new boyfriend? Why does it have to be me?” He asks, and you furrow your brows. 

“What do you mean? Who else would it be?” You question. “You can’t easily fall in and out of love.”

“She’s not in love with me though. She just likes attention and expensive things, something a lot of other men can offer.” Satoru points out, making you bite your lip. He’s not entirely wrong but you still choose to defend your best friend.

“She does love you, Satoru. She’s been crying to me about this for so long. She misses you.” You defend her, and Satoru clicks his tongue.

“Will you taste the dessert I got you? I want to see if you like it.” Satoru tries to change the topic, and you puff out a breath. It’s not going to kill you to taste it, and you’ll quickly go back to the subject.

You take a small bite, and your eyes light up as you begin to savor the food in front of you. Satoru is watching your every move, finding your expression amusing. For the second, you completely forget why you’re here. 

“Is it good?” Satoru asks, and you excitedly nod your head. It’s good to know that he made the right decision. He watches you take another bite before standing up. The topic of Ali is tired, and he knows that it’s the only type of conversation he’ll get from you today. He knew that the whole reason you asked him to meet up was to talk about Ali, but he doesn’t regret coming.

“Where are you going?” You sound funny, your mouth full of food as Satoru grabs his drink. It’s obvious he’s leaving, but you ask with the slight hope that you’re wrong. 

“For the record, I came here because it’s always nice to talk to you.” Satoru tells you, and you raise your eyebrows in confusion. He clears his throat before pointing inside, “We can meet up again soon, just not with her around.”

“Wait–! We’re not done here.” You try to stop him but Satoru turns his back to you and begins to walk away. 

Unluckily for Ali, you’re not running after him to talk. He’s made his decision and you aren’t willing to interfere in their relationship anymore. And unluckily for you, you know that Ali won’t accept the decision and continue to press you about the matter. 

Satoru furrows his eyebrows as he sees the long line of the shop. He thought that showing up early would reduce the amount of people in the place, but he’s been proven wrong. He can’t help but sigh, knowing that he’ll spend at least twenty minutes waiting just to get a treat. But all the time in line is worth it.

Satoru looks around the place, hoping that he’ll find something– Even if he stands so far away that he can’t make out anything he sees. He freezes when he sees a familiar head of curly brown hair, way ahead in line. He chews on the inside of his cheek for a moment before stepping forward.

“Which one should I get?” You mutter yourself, mouth watering as your eyes scan all the desserts behind the glass. 

“The macaroons look good.” You’re startled by an all too familiar voice. You put your hand over your heart, feeling as if it’s about to beat out of your chest as you look at him.

“What are you doing here?” You ask him, as if it’s impossible for you to end up in the same place. You know he has a sweet tooth as well, it shouldn’t be a surprise to find him here. You look back, and see the long line behind you. “Oh, you’re using me to cut line, I see.”

“Can’t you believe I just wanted to greet you?” Satoru responds, and you chuckle. 

“It’s fine. You can use me.” You respond, nervously tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. It’s weird to talk to him without using Ali as an excuse. “I’ve been waiting for a while, it’s fine.”

“Did you just get off work?” Satoru asks and you nod. “What do you do? I’m sorry I never–”

“Hurry up! We’re waiting!” Someone cuts off the conversation, and you feel your face get warm from embarrassment. Satoru glares back at them, as if he has the right. He did cut the line, but he doesn’t care. 

“I’ll take two of those.” You tell the worker behind the counter. You don’t even look at the food that you’re pointing at, you just want to get out of line. “Pick what you want.”

His order is more intricate than yours. It’s clear that he would’ve waited an hour if he had to.

“I’ll pay.” He insists when you get to the register, and you want to argue with him that you got yourself covered. But he pays before you can even open your mouth.

“Thank you.” You’re forced to thank him when you exit the store. You expect to go your separate ways, after leaving the place but Satoru offers,

“How about we take a seat? I want to talk to you.” 

“Oh– Yeah.” You respond. You bite down your lip before telling him, “I’m a tech analyst, by the way.”

“Huh– Oh, yeah.” Satoru replies. He stares at your face for a moment before letting out a low laugh. “I would’ve never guessed.” 

“Well now you know.”

Ali calms down a couple of months after her breakup with Satoru. She certainly leaves you alone about the matter which you’re grateful for. You’re more than willing to help your best friend with any issue, but her relationship with Satoru is a mess you’d rather stay out of.

Knowing Ali, she’s certainly not given up on Satoru. She’s just leaving you out of the mess, and by doing so, she’s completely forgotten about you. Even though you miss your friend, you certainly don’t mind not being involved in her romantic issues.

You know that she’s looking for ways to get close to Satoru again, not knowing that using you again would actually offer some sort of result this time around. But you wouldn’t dare tell her. 

It wasn’t something you planned out, it just happened. Your shared love for sweets led you to the same shop in town– And you keep meeting up by chance. There aren't many shops in the area like that one. Sure, you can buy a dessert anywhere, but you won’t find the variety and quality anywhere else in town; it’s what attracts you two to the same place.

You met a handful of times by chance, and each time you began to talk. Conversation flowed smoothly each time, which led you to talk more on the phone. Now you’re texting to meet up, agreeing to grab a sweet treat at least once a week. You slightly feel guilty for meeting him behind Ali’s back, but you know that you aren’t doing anything wrong.

You’re simply friends with Satoru. Everything is completely platonic.

“I got this for you.” Satoru puts down a little box on the table, sliding it over to you. Your eyes narrow as you try to decipher what’s in the box. You wonder what he’s picked for you. While you’ve gotten close, you doubt that he’s really noticed your preferences in sweets. 

“You didn’t have to, thank you.” You immediately respond, opening the box to find your favorite dessert. Your eyes widen, a smile coming to your face as you realize that he’s noticed what your favorite kind of treat is. It’s sweet to know that he’s noticed. “I really appreciate it, Satoru.”

“It was no problem.” He smiles back at you. He’s always buying something for you, making you feel special in a way that he’d never guess. You almost feel guilty for never getting him something in return.

“Do you want a bit?” You offer, but he quickly shakes his head. He got it for you because he knows that you like it, but he isn’t particularly fond of the dessert that he got you. You look delighted with his response, making Satoru scoff.

“You do know the place has more, right? It wouldn’t kill you to share either.” He says, and you stick your tongue out at him jokingly. “You can enjoy your yucky dessert alone, don’t worry.”

“Yucky? Really?” You respond and he hums in response. “You sound like a child.”

“I can’t find a more fitting word.” He replies which makes you giggle. He can criticize the food all he wants, as long as you don’t have to share. Satoru clears his throat before speaking up again, “You know, I was thinking–”

“This is so good.” You unintentionally cut him off as you taste what he got you. You swear you’re in heaven with the first taste. You don’t understand how Satoru doesn’t like it, but it’s fine, you’re happy as long as you don’t have to share. Satoru chuckles at your reaction.

“I really don’t understand why you like it so much. There’s so many other options.” He says, but you don’t pay much attention to what he has to say. And just like that, the courage for what he was going to say is completely gone. “But if it makes you happy.”

“You know something? You’re actually a really picky eater. I never figured you as the type.” You tell him, and Satoru clicks his tongue. You aren’t wrong though. “I did cut you off, didn’t I? What were you going to say?”

“Nothing.” He shakes his head, dismissing the topic. You furrow your brows, getting curious as to what you interrupted. 

“Are you sure?” You question and he nods in response. The reason you’re here today is because Satoru texted you that he wanted to talk about something. You seriously doubt that the reason he’s here is to simply give you a free dessert. “I don’t buy it.”

“You’re right.” He sighs. He bites his lip, fidgeting his fingers. He’s feeling nervous, something that rarely comes to him. Satoru has the right to feel confident in every situation– But he’s not sure how to approach this considering the weird dynamic that you have. He finally spits out, “How about we go on a date? Would you like that?”

“Satoru–” You’re caught speechless. You slowly blink, feeling as if your heart is about to beat out of your chest. Did you hear that right? You begin to laugh, as if Satoru just told you some sort of joke. “You got me.”

“I’m not joking.” Satoru almost sounds offended by your response.

“I– I can’t, Satoru.” You answer, feeling dirty for even saying that. You like him– It’s no longer a stupid crush anymore. After spending time with him, and getting to know him better, you’ve realized that you like him as a person. You’re not just attracted to him. You can picture a future with him, although you shouldn’t. 

“Why?” He asks. He knows you like him, he’s known for a long time. It’s clear that you two have chemistry. You didn’t just say no, you specifically told him that you can’t. “If it’s about Ali–”

“I’m sorry.” You stand up. You walk away, leaving your dessert half eaten. 

“Should’ve known.” Satoru mutters, quickly followed by a sigh. It’s clear that you like him, but your loyalty towards Ali is stronger.

“Hey… What are you doing here?” Satoru opens the door, only to find you completely distressed. It’s almost midnight, so he’s shocked to find you at his door. You look distressed– It’s clear to him that you’ve just woken up, given that you’re wearing your glasses instead of your usual contacts. “If it’s about earlier–”

“We have to talk.” You cut him off, and Satoru moves to the side to let you in. You take a deep breath before stepping into his apartment. You awkwardly look around the place, wondering why you’re here. You’re listening to your heart instead of your brain, you should turn around and go back to your best friend.

“What do you want to say?” He asks, shutting the door behind him. He steps near you, and you feel your breath get caught up in your chest. 

“I was thinking about it… I do like you, Satoru.” You confess, something that isn’t news to Satoru. He’s known for a while. It was clear that you were trying to hide it, so it wasn’t something that concerned him while he was with Ali.

You sigh, “But Ali’s been my friend since childhood. She loves you. I can’t do this to her.”

“Please…” Satoru grabs your hand, putting it over his beating heart. You feel your face get warm, looking up at him to make eye contact. “You shouldn’t be unhappy for her.”

“We make great friends, Satoru. I can’t hurt her like this.” You tell him, hating yourself for the words that leave your mouth. If you were anyone else, you’d jump at the opportunity to be with him, but you can’t do that to your best friend. “I came here to tell you that. I don’t want to ruin our friendship.”

“You know that we’d go really great together.” He tries to convince you, and you know he isn’t wrong. You look into his adoring eyes, feeling your heart skip a beat. “You can’t base your decisions on her feelings.”

You shouldn’t. You really shouldn’t.

“I’m sorry.” You mutter as your hands go to the back of his neck, bringing him down to meet your lips. You’re not apologizing to him, that part is clear to him when your soft lips meet his. You’re listening to your heart and not your mind for once. Though it swells with guilt, the feeling is overshadowed.

Satoru shuts his eyes, giving in to the soft feeling of your lips against his. You pull away, your gaze meeting his adoring eyes for a moment. You shouldn’t, yet your lips meet again. It starts sweet, but his wandering hands escalate things. Your tongue enters his mouth as his hands land on your ass. 

You feel as if your body is burning up as your tongue presses against his. You need him in every explicable way. Your body needs more. Satoru picks you up, and you wrap your legs around his waist. He carries you to his bedroom, gently putting you down on his bed. Are things going too fast? Or has this been brewing up for a while? Either way, things aren’t stopping now.

He pulls away, taking off your glasses and putting them down on his nightstand before focusing all his attention on you. He cups your face and lovingly kisses you as your fingers trace down his body and stop at his sweatpants. 

You escalate things by pulling down his sweatpants, unable to waste any more time. You pull away from the kiss. You look up at him with dark, lust-filled eyes. As he pulls away, you push down his underwear. 

You shouldn’t be surprised by his size, but he’s bigger than average. Your hand wraps around the base and you give it a couple of strokes before your tongue circles around the tip. You start off slow and unsure, but quickly become confident as you hear a soft moan leave Satoru’s lips.

You lick his length before fully wrapping your mouth around it, taking as much as you can get. 

You bob your head slowly, starting off slow. It’s not how he usually likes to start off things, but right now he swears he’s in heaven with how your mouth feels around his cock. It feels so perfect around him. 

Your bobs begin to pick up a bit of speed, and he bites down his lip. He doesn’t want to embarrass himself by being too loud, even if it is because you’re making him feel good. He stares down at you, watching as you suck him off with no problem, looking so perfect while you’re preoccupied. He sighs, relieved. 

You look up at him, wanting his approval. He’s a little too caught up in his own feelings, too engrossed with how your mouth feels around him. He can’t form a sentence to praise you on how good you’re doing. 

He grabs the back of your head and pushes your head so you gag on his cock. As gentle as he wants to be with you, he can’t hold back for too long. You’re gagging on his dick, tears filling up your eyes and quickly spilling as he makes you take every inch of his dick in your mouth. 

“Fuck– Fuck-” He moans, watching as a couple of tears leave your eyes. It should be a sin for someone to look so pretty as they begin to cry. He finally lets go of you, allowing you to retake control of the narrative. “Your mouth is too perfect.”

You take his dick out of your mouth, stroking it a couple of times before wrapping your mouth around it again. Satoru’s breath gets caught up in his throat as his release nears. 

He shuts his eyes, throwing his head back, groaning in pleasure as his come hits the back of your throat. You take his cock out of your mouth and before you can say a word, his lips land on yours again.

Satoru wastes no time in getting you undressed. He makes sure to praise every inch of your body, kissing every corner. He wants you to know just how much he likes you, and how attractive he finds you. There is no better way to tell you than just by kissing every inch of your body. 

“Get on all fours.” He tells you, and you waste no time. Satoru takes a moment to look at your pretty pussy before spitting on it a couple of times. 

Satoru aligns his cock with the entrance of your pussy, running the tip through your folds and teasing you. Satoru slowly pushes himself inside of you, and you feel your eyes roll to the back of your head. You loudly moan as his thick cock stretches you out. 

Satoru’s hands go to your hips, searching for balance before he begins to move. The man can’t help but loudly moan as he feels your tight pussy wrap around him. You’re so perfect, it’s going to drive him insane. He hasn’t properly tasted you yet but he’s surely to get obsessed. 

“It’s so good!” You moan, his cock filling you up just right. You hate to admit that you’ve thought about this moment so many times, but you never imagined it’d be this good. It’s hard to feel guilty when your body feels this amazing.

Your back arches as your head presses against the mattress, muffling any noise that comes from your mouth. Satoru slaps your ass as his eyes watch it jiggle with his every movement. He can’t keep his eyes off it. 

“You’re so tight.” Satoru tells you through gritted teeth. He holds back on moaning, not wanting to sound too pathetic as he fucks you. It’s hard when your cunt is so nice and tight around him though.

“It’s so good, daddy.” You moan, stumbling over your words. Satoru can die and go to heaven when he hears you call him daddy. Everything you do is so perfect, he can’t believe he’s waited so long to pursue you.

One of your hands goes under and you begin to play with your clit, making you squeeze around his cock. He moans your name out of pure pleasure. He’s surely going to be thinking about this for days on end. He’s never felt like this with anyone else. 

“Daddy, it’s so good!” You stop playing with your clit, your hands gripping the silk sheets underneath as your orgasm takes over your body.

“Good girl. You’re doing so good.” Satoru breathlessly praises you, knowing that he won’t last much longer. He isn’t alone though. Your eyes rolling to the back of your head, orgasm rapidly approaching. 

Your body finally spasms, reaching your peak. Satoru slaps your ass a couple of times, praising you for being so good and so perfect for finishing around his cock. He keeps telling you how perfect you are, moaning your name. He’s making you feel like a goddess.

Satoru’s thrusts become unregulated. It’s hard for him to contain himself, but he doesn’t want this moment to end. He doesn’t want you to come to your senses yet. He wants to stay like this for a while. Alas, he can’t hold himself back forever. 

He pulls his cock out, coating your ass with his cum. He swears he hasn’t seen a prettier sight– Apart from your face, of course. But your ass being coated with his cum is a close second.

“That was–” Satoru plops down on the bed beside you, as you lay on your stomach. He’s out of breath, and needs a moment. “Amazing.”

“Yeah.” You chuckle, staring at him as he looks at the ceiling. 

Maybe you’ll regret it in the morning, but not right now. Right now, you feel euphoric.

Your hand goes to his face, thumb caressing his cheek. He looks back at you so lovingly, and your heart skips a beat.

“We’re not done yet.” You tell him, and a smile comes to Satoru’s face.

He couldn’t agree more.

The sunlight peeks into the room, causing you to open your eyes first thing in the morning. You slowly take in your surroundings, realizing that you’re not back at your place. You feel a heavy arm over your body, cuddling you. It takes you a minute to remember the events of last night before you quickly sit up on the bed.

You feel your face get hot, embarrassment quickly flowing through you. Quickly followed by regret. No, you shouldn’t be here. You do like him, otherwise you wouldn’t have shown up last night… But doing this to your own best friend? You don’t know how you could ever face her again after this.

“Go back to sleep.” A sleepy Satoru mutters, and as much as your sore body wants to lay back down, you can’t. You’re pulling the bed sheets off your body and searching for your scattered clothes. Satoru ends up fully waking up when he realizes what you’re doing. You’re leaving as if this is a one-night-stand.

“Please don’t ever tell anyone that this happened.” You tell him, grabbing your bra from the floor. Satoru’s eyes focus on your ass– Granted, it’s the worst time to focus on your ass, but it’s hard to ignore when it looks so perfect in front of him. Your next words bring him back to reality, “What happened last night shouldn’t have happened. I’m sorry.”

“Hey.” He calls out your name, making you freeze in your spot. You’re hesitant to look back at him, but you end up doing it. “You know you don’t regret it.”

“I– I don’t.” You can’t lie to him. You try to continue to get dressed to get out of the apartment as fast as possible. You’re scared that you’re going to commit another mistake if you stay for too long.

“Why don’t you stay?” Satoru asks, and you can’t give him an answer. He knows why, but he needs you to say it for you to realize how ridiculous you sound. “You shouldn’t put yourself second. Ali made her own mistakes, and you shouldn’t pay for them.”

“She’s my best friend, Satoru. She loves you.” You respond, and Satoru scoffs. It’s too early to deal with this. How many times does he have to tell you that she doesn’t love him for you to drop the subject. “I know that she doesn’t deserve another chance with you, but I can’t do this to her.”

“Do what to her? She’s going to move on eventually, and you’re just going to be miserable. You’re passing up on a great relationship for a girl that doesn’t care about you enough.” It’s harsh, but Satoru can’t help but tell you the truth. As painful as it is. If he isn’t harsh with you, you’ll never open your eyes.

“You’re right.” You end up sighing. You take a seat on the bed again, mind heavy with thoughts. 

“If you want this to stop now, we can end it now.” He says, reaching over to grab your hand and give it a gentle squeeze. “Just know that we like each other, and there’s actually nothing keeping us apart.”

For a long minute, the room is silent. He’s right, as much as you don’t want to admit it. There’s no reason for you to not be together. Ali won’t react well, but you’re not going to let her dictate your life. 

“You’re right.” You respond, and you watch as his face lights up. “But please, let’s keep this a secret for now. Until I figure out what to say to Ali.”

“My lips are sealed.”

There’s something up your sleeve, and Ali can’t help but notice. She doesn’t know when it started, but one day she realized that the place was dirty. Dishes were piling up, the floor needed to be mopped and she didn’t have a single article of clean clothes. 

Even when you found out that she cheated on Satoru, you continued to do everything for her, so she wonders if something is wrong with you… The place is filthy, time is running out and she refuses to pick up a single dish. You’ve always taken it as your responsibility to do every chore in the house, you can’t just stop now. What could she have possibly done to upset you this time? She tries to talk to you about the subject, but when she knocks on your door, you’re not home.

That’s not the only thing though. When you do come home, she notices you have some expensive items. Items that you’d never willingly spend money on, she knows that much about you. The signs are all there: you’re seeing someone.

“Hi, babe.” Ali startles you when you get home, a little past midnight. You’re a bit disheveled, making it clear what you were up to. She stayed up for you, waiting for you on the couch, and it makes you feel uneasy.

“Hi, Ali.” You sheepishly smile at her, feeling as if you’ve somehow gotten caught. You cover up your tracks damn well, you know that she has no way of knowing that you’re dating Satoru behind her back. “What’s up?”

“Nothing much.” She responds. You feel your breath get caught up in your chest, waiting for her to say something else. You begin to take small, subtle steps to your room as she makes up her mind. “Are you mad at me?”

“No… Why would I be?” You question, though you know why she asks. She’s worried because you’re barely coming around. 

“You’re seeing someone then, right?” She asks, standing up from the couch and stepping towards you. You feel your hands get shaky, nerves taking over you.

“No– Why do you ask?” You slightly stumble over your words, and you hope that she doesn’t notice. You hope that Satoru is right about your best friend when he says that she’s too self absorbed to care about anyone else but herself. 

“You’re here late and…” She looks you up and down, judgment written all over her face. “You look like that.” 

“I just had a rough day.” You claim, trying to play it off. Much to your dismay, she snatches the purse that you hold in your hands. She closely inspects it, trying to check if it’s authentic. You should’ve known better than to accept Satoru’s very expensive gifts.

“It’s real. You wouldn’t spend this much money on a purse.” She points out, and you get increasingly nervous. You snatch the purse back before answering,

“Is it that hard to believe that I would slowly save up for a purse?” 

“Fine.” She rolls her eyes. It’s very clear that you’re seeing someone, but you won’t tell. You’ll come around eventually, she just has to give you the cold shoulder for a while– She’s not too sure if it’ll work this time around. 

She dramatically turns away from you and begins to walk to her room, taking small steps to give you time to speak up. But you don’t say anything. On the contrary, you begin to walk to your room as well.

“You’re the worst.” You stick out your tongue at Satoru, getting mad at the 4+ card that he puts down on the deck. You wish you could easily take defeat, but your boyfriend sure loves to brag about his victories. He drives you insane.

“The worst? Why? Because I’m better than you?” Satoru is so smug about it, and you’re filled with rage. You take deep breaths, reminding yourself that this is just a game. 

“You suck!” You respond, throwing your cards on the coffee table. Satoru chuckles, watching you stand up and head to the kitchen to get yourself a glass of water, making him follow like a lost puppy. 

He engulfs you in a hug, filling up your face with kisses. He mutters baseless apologies for his great luck and strategy for the game. You’re trying to push him away, but he’s too overbearing. 

“Hi, guys.” You hear and your blood runs cold as you hear an all too familiar voice. You finally manage to stop Satoru, who looks unphased by Shoko’s voice. You’ve been caught, yet he doesn’t seem to care.

“Jeez, have you heard of knocking?” Satoru finally looks at the woman, who holds up the apartment key. 

“I came here to pick something up. Suguru left his jacket here.” She looks around for the item she came for, not really questioning why Satoru was kissing you. 

“We– We can explain.” You begin, and she furrows her brows in a confused manner as she looks back at you. 

“What is there to explain? Satoru told us that you’re dating.” She answers, and you glare at the man that stands right next to you. He looks just as confused as Shoko by your reaction.

“Was I not supposed to?” He questions, and you cross your arms.

“I told you that this is a secret.” You mutter. 

“Yeah, a secret from Allison. Not my friends.” Satoru reiterates, and you sigh. So his friends know, great. It’s only a matter of time before your best friend finds out as well. You have to find the right time to break the news to her before she finds out on her own.

“Satoru…” You shake your head disappointedly. You want to show off your relationship as much as possible, so you’re not hiding this because you want to. You’re doing what’s best for your relationship for Ali– As selfish as it is to do this to Satoru.

“I’m sorry, I misunderstood.” He apologizes, as a heavy weight sets on your shoulders. You have to tell her eventually, you can’t keep your relationship a secret forever. 

“I have to–” You begin, but you’re cut off by the sound of your phone ringing. Shoko grabs it from the coffee table and hands it to you, a look of annoyance coming to her face on your part. You feel your heart drop, looking back at your boyfriend. “It’s her.”

“Just pick up the phone. She won’t call you unless it’s an emergency.” Satoru tells you. He’s noticed that your best friend rarely communicates with you; granted, unless she needs something from you. 

“Hi, Ali.” You answer the phone, stepping away from Satoru because you’re scared that a single breath from him will get you caught. Satoru keeps his gaze on you as you talk to your best friend. “Oh, I’m so sorry. I’ll be right there.”

“What happened?” Satoru mouths, but you ignore him as you comfort your best friend. You stay on the line for another minute before hanging up. 

“A family member of hers died, and she wants me to go with her back to our hometown.” You answer, and Satoru raises his brows. He won’t ask who, it’s too intrusive. You’re together, but there’s some things about Ali that you refuse to tell him because you feel like you’re telling too much about your best friend. 

“Oh, I’m sorry.” Satoru isn’t sure how else to respond. You kiss his cheek before walking over to the couch to grab your stuff.

“I have to go. She sounds pretty devastated.” You tell him, and Satoru purses his lips together. The great night that he had planned has been ruined, and for Ali of all people. But he tries to pull his feelings to the side, knowing that there’s a possibility that you’re affected by all of this. After all, you and Ali grew up together. 

“Do you need anything? I can–” He begins, only to be interrupted by you.

“I didn’t know him well, he was one of Ali’s uncles and I saw him maybe a handful of times.” You reassure him, somehow managing to read his mind. “But… Can I ask something from you?”

“Anything.” He responds.

“Please refrain from communicating. Right now is not the time to break the news to Ali.” 

Satoru is slowly dying inside, knowing that he can’t contact you in any way. For two weeks, he’s forced to blankly stare at his phone, hoping that you’ll send him a message. It doesn’t have to be long, just a sign of life from you.

He’s told his parents about you. It’s obvious that he takes this relationship very seriously, and he sees a future with you– One that he never saw with Ali. Which means he’s miserable knowing that he can’t contact you. He counts down the hours till he gets to know that you’re coming back.

It’s fair to say that he’s overjoyed when you finally call. He wants to pick up the phone immediately, but he doesn’t want to seem desperate by picking up within the first ring. He waits a couple of seconds before bringing up the phone to his ear.

“Hi, baby. I miss you.” Satoru immediately says, not helping his case of not looking desperate. There’s only so much he can do though.

“Hi.” You’re not as affectionate as he is, which lets him know that you’re not alone. He wonders why you’re calling when she’s nearby but at the same time he couldn’t give a damn. As long as he gets to hear your voice, he’s happy. “I’m calling to let you know I’m back home.”

“When can we meet?” He quickly asks, hoping that you’ll say tonight. He’s quickly filled with disappointment when you tell him,

“Are you going to Suguru’s party tomorrow night? How about there?” You suggest. He bites down his lip, holding back a sigh. It’s better than waiting for days on end.

“Yeah… I’ll see you then.” He responds, hoping that you’ll say something more. But you end up hanging up the phone before he can get another word in.

He still can’t help but smile, realizing that he’ll finally see you tomorrow.

Satoru bounces his leg anxiously, waiting for you to finally show up at Suguru’s apartment. You’re late– At least a lot of people are showing up before you which is rare. You usually show up early to things, but you’re still not here. Perhaps Satoru is a little earlier than usual today; he’s simply too excited with the fact that he’ll finally see you. It feels like an eternity since the last time he saw your face.

He can’t wait to hold you or kiss you again, which is why he’s impatient. He’s slowly becoming needy by your side, and he isn’t particularly mad about it. 

“Hey–” He excitedly greets you, standing up from the couch to hug you but he freezes in his spot when he sees your best friend right behind you. The smile on his face drops, realizing that his plans for tonight have been delayed even further. “Hey. I didn’t expect to see you here.”

“Yeah… Me neither.” You try to play it off. You watch as your best friend happily greets your boyfriend, only to be ignored by Satoru. 

“Shoko!” You call out, walking over to her since you don’t want to awkwardly be put in the position of being between Satoru and Ali. No matter what you say to her, she’s still going to do everything in her power to flirt with him. As uncomfortable as it is to know that your best friend is hitting on your boyfriend, you know that you’re doing something wrong by dating him so you won’t intervene.

“How are you, Satoru? I haven’t seen you in a while.” She begins, only for the man to completely ignore her and follow after you. He doesn’t bother to hide it, but he knows that she won’t notice. She thinks that you’re beneath her, she doesn’t think that he’s following after you. 

“What is she doing here?” He asks you as he approaches you. He interrupts Shoko as she speaks to you, and Shoko crosses her arms, annoyed that she’s been cut off by Satoru.

“They’re best friends, why wouldn’t she be here?” Shoko argues, and Satoru clicks his tongue. 

“I didn’t ask you.” Satoru glares at Shoko. Knowing Suguru, he most definitely didn’t invite Ali. 

“She’s feeling a little down and asked if she could tag along.” You answer, and Satoru hates the fact that you’re such a great friend– Especially to such an undeserving woman like Ali. Satoru gives you an unintentional but nasty look and you kiss his cheek, “I couldn’t say no to her–”

“She saw that.” Shoko quickly tells you, and you begin to panic only for Shoko to laugh in your face. “I was joking, but man, that look on your face is priceless.”

“Shoko!” You yell and she laughs even harder than before. You roll your eyes at her before turning your attention to Satoru,

“I think it’s best if we stay away from each other for the night… I’ll come over after the party.” Which makes the man sigh. He got too excited for tonight, only for Ali to ruin it all. “I don’t want her to think something’s up if we’re attached to the hip tonight. She’s still very fragile.”

“Fine.” Satoru agrees. As much as he thinks that Ali is undeserving of you, he won’t go against your wishes. Though his night had suddenly turned sour.

Ali has lost track of time. She’s been chasing around Satoru the entire night, all to no avail. It’s like he’s running away from her. But that doesn’t seem plausible in her head. Why would Satoru want to run away from her?

She asks around, hoping that one of his friends can pinpoint where Satoru is and lead her to him. She doesn’t seem to realize that the majority of the people she talks to are Satoru’s friends, all who know the type of person she is. All of them who luckily keep their mouths shut about you.

“Where is he?” She questions, going upstairs when she comes to the realization that he isn’t anywhere on the first floor. Is he upstairs with somebody else? Surely Satoru hasn’t moved on yet… Right? No, he wouldn’t.

Ali chases after him, hoping to have a conversation with him where she can explain her truth. Her side of things about the very straightforward mistake that she made. She hopes that a couple of tears are going to be able to move him. After all, who can say no to her? 

She confidently opens a door, only for her eyes to widen when she sees what’s happening. Her blood runs cold before it begins to boil at the sight. You’re on top of Satoru. You’re kissing him. He’s kissing you back. 

No, this can’t be happening. She pinches herself, checking if what she sees is a dream. But no. Satoru has moved on, and with you of all people. How pathetic. Satoru Gojo can get just about any woman he wants and he’d choose you?

“What the fuck?!” She yells, causing you to come to an abrupt stop. Your eyes widen at the sight of your best friend, and you begin to panic. But before you can even get a word out, Ali grabs a handful of your hair and pulls you off Satoru. “You stupid little bitch.”

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” You cry out as she begins to hit you. You’re not doing anything to stop her because it’s something that you genuinely believe you deserve. A good friend wouldn’t date their best friend’s ex-boyfriend. 

“Allison, let go of her.” Satoru tries to pull her off you, but he’s unable to unless he uses force. He doesn’t want to harm Ali in any way, knowing that it’ll upset you. Even when she’s pulling your hair and scratching you like a cat. 

“You call yourself my best friend and this is what you do?! You’re a stupid homewrecker.” She spits on you, and it drives Satoru over the edge. He’ll deal with the repercussions later but he can’t stand to watch it. He forcibly pushes Ali off you, making her back harshly hit the wall.

“Are you okay, baby?” Satoru cups your face, thumb going over the scratch on your cheek. It’s bleeding. Tears are streaming down your face, completely ignoring what Satoru says as you apologize to your best friend.

“I’m sorry, Ali. I didn’t mean for this to happen.” You sob, but she’s not listening to what you have to say.

A couple of people are gathering around. They heard some commotion, and of course, they had to come around to see. All to add to your embarrassment. 

“You stupid bitch!” Ali yells again, trying to reach for you but Satoru doesn’t let her. Someone steps in to hold her back, but that doesn’t stop the barrage of insults that roll off her tongue.

“I’m so sorry.” You continue, trying to pay no mind to the insults that she spews. You’re trying to block them out, but they still hurt like hell.

“Hey, it’s okay.” Satoru tries to get you to look at him, but you keep your focus on Ali. The woman that you’ve betrayed.

Even when she’s taken out of your line of sight, she’s the only thing on your mind. No matter what you do, your friendship will never be the same.

You should’ve known that Ali wouldn’t stop at dragging you by the hair and hitting you. The woman that you’ve lived with for years is vengeful, and she wouldn’t change a thing for you of all people. Though you didn’t do anything to change it because you believed you deserved it.

The very next day, Ali had changed the locks to your shared apartment. When you managed to get inside, you noticed all of your clothes and accessories destroyed all over your room. It was fine. You deserved it. Even though Satoru reassured you that you didn’t, you still believed she was right to do it.

A week later, your car’s tires were slashed, and two of the windows were broken. To top it off, Whore was keyed on it. You called Satoru about it, complaining that you’d get late to work– Something that annoyed Satoru. It was clear who the culprit was, yet you refused to do anything about it because it was Ali. You believed you deserved it even though you didn’t. 

Satoru knows that you can stand up for yourself, he’s seen it before, so why can’t you do it with Ali? He knows that you’ve spent a lifetime together, but that’s not a good reason for you to let her walk all over you.

But no matter what he says, you won’t do anything to stop her. You apologize for what she’s done to you. Ali can ruin as many cars as she’d like, he can easily replace them; however, it pains him to see you suffer because of her. 

Satoru won’t overstep, not until he receives a call a little after five, and you sound completely distressed.

“I– I can’t do this anymore, Satoru.” You sob, and he quickly becomes alert. 

“What happened? Are you okay? Do I need to pick you up?” He asks, quickly searching for car keys to leave and pick you up. Whatever it is, he knows that it’s tied to Ali.

“I’m covered in eggs. Some of her crazy followers know where I work and they–” You sob, and Satoru feels his heart break as you explain the situation. He can only hope that you finally open your eyes and realize the type of person Ali is. “I can’t do this anymore, Satoru. We should end this here.”

“Wait– No. Absolutely not. You’re not letting her win.” Satoru quickly responds as he exits the house. He’s going somewhere– Either to your apartment or your workplace to talk to you. No, he should go to the police station to deal with Ali. She needs to be stopped, and it’s clear that you’re not going to take action.

“I’m not letting her win. I’m tired.” You sound completely defeated. It’s not easy to deal with constant harassment. “I’ve been getting death threats nonstop all week. I’m genuinely scared for my life now.”

“Come live with me.” He offers, but you doubt that it’ll fix anything. “I’ll protect you, but please.”

“It’ll just drag you down with me, Satoru.” You respond, taking a deep breath to try and calm yourself down. “I don’t want you to get affected by her craziness.”

“I love you.” He blurts out. Ali made the same attempt with him once upon a time, but he actually means the words that leave his lips. “I don’t mind being affected by her craziness because I love you.”

“I’m sorry, Satoru.” You’re about to hang up the call before he can change your mind. But he successfully manages to get another word in.

“I promise I will make all of this stop. Just come to me, please.” He sounds like he’s on the verge of tears, and that’s the last thing you want. You just want all of this to end, you want your best friend back even if she’s clearly awful, and you want to live in peace. “I will fix it all, even if I have to beg her.”

“I can’t. I’m sorry.” You end up hanging up the phone, leaving Satoru with a broken heart. But as much as you care for him– You can even say that you love him, but you can’t keep doing this. It hasn’t even been a month, but your life has been a living hell. 

You hear some loud laughter from Ali’s room, and you furrow your brows as you hear it. It’s cackling. It feels as if she knows what happened to you, and it’s causing her joy. 

You know that you should walk to your room, and ignore her. You’re apartment hunting, you know that you can’t live under the same roof for too much longer. Instead of seeing what she’s up to, you should lock yourself in your room and figure out a way of how to get out of here. 

But you can’t help but press your ear against the bedroom door to hear what she’s doing.

“I would’ve killed to see the look on that bitch’s face. Can you send me the video?” You hear, and you don’t have to listen to another word. You know she’s talking about you. “It’s only a matter of time before she breaks up with him.”

And those words send you over the edge. You clench your fists as your blood begins to boil. That’s all she wanted, for you to end things with Satoru, and you’re not going to let her have her way.

You love Satoru, and you’re not going to let her ruin things between the two of you. She might be miserable with her life, but you’re not going to let her drag you down with her.

You grab your phone and don’t hesitate before calling Satoru. You begin walking to your bedroom, getting ready to have a long heart-to-heart conversation with him. 

“Satoru…” You say when he picks up the phone, unsure of how to proceed. An apology is in order but should you tell him that you want to get back together first? Maybe you should ask him to meet up first, having this conversation over a phone call seems improper.

“You’re calling because you regret it.” He says before you can get another word out. He can read your mind so well, it’s ridiculous sometimes. 

“I do.” You can’t help but awkwardly chuckle. “I love you too, Satoru. I’m sorry.”

Ali quickly realizes that she isn’t untouchable when she messes with your car again– Not that you would do anything against her. She might be horrible to you, but you still treat her like the little girl that was once upon your best friend. Her error lies in messing around with a car that’s under Satoru’s name. 

“I can’t believe she did it again.” You comment, still in your pajamas as you look at the damage. You’re staying in Satoru’s apartment for a while, and you would’ve sworn that she wouldn’t do anything while you were staying with him. But now your car is completely destroyed.

“You sound unphased.” Satoru says, taking pictures of the damage. “You shouldn’t be used to this.”

“She’s going to chase me for the rest of my life. I’m convinced.” You answer. “By the way, can you drop me off–”

“I got you.” He cuts you off, and you kiss his cheek. You couldn’t be luckier. Until he opens his mouth to speak again, “But after we talk to the cops.”

“Satoru–”

“They’re already involved. I’ve been working with some people behind the scenes, and we’re building up a harassment case against her.” Satoru interrupts you, and you feel your heart stop. “It’s going to stop whether you like it or not. That woman won’t leave you alone no matter what.”

“Okay…” You sigh, giving him a subtle nod. You can’t stop him. Either way, you know he’s right. She won’t stop unless she faces some serious consequences. “For how long is she–”

“So far three years.” He reads your mind. “If she pulls something else, we can make it four.”

“That’s not too bad.” You answer, though you don’t believe it. You feel guilty for not stopping him, but he’s right. You know he’s right.

Ali has beaten off more than she can chew, and unluckily for her, Satoru won’t let her get away with it.

You couldn’t be happier a year after your friendship with Ali ends. You were so caught up in the past, that you failed to realize that Ali was a negative in your life. Even though you can’t help but miss the bond that you had once upon a time, you’re excelling without her.

Satoru made sure that Ali paid for her behavior. He got law enforcement involved and she was penalized with a year in jail, and with a hefty fine that ensures she stays off your back. When she found out, she begged that you’d help her but you refused. You listened to Satoru for once, and left her to deal with the consequences of her actions. 

Your social life couldn’t be better without her. You’ve gotten close to Shoko, and now consider her as your best friend– And your friendship is so much different than the one you had with Ali. You notice it’s much healthier than whatever you had going on with Ali. Shoko genuinely cares about you, and you feel appreciated by her side. 

Romantically, things couldn’t be better either. Satoru loves you like no other, and he lets it be known. He treats you like his queen, always spoiling you and letting you be right even when you’re so clearly wrong. 

Though there’s something wrong with him lately. He’s been acting odd around you, and you can’t help but feel nervous… As if you’ve done something to upset him. So it comes as a shocker when he invites you on a date out of the blue.

“Where are we going?” You question him as you look out the window. He’s singing along to his favorite song as he drives you to your destination. He completely ignores you, which makes you nervous. “Satoru.”

“I told you, it’s a surprise!” He exclaims, and his tone takes some weight off your shoulders. He sounds playful… So it can’t be too bad, right?

“Can’t you give me a hint?” You question, and Satoru shakes his head. He’s smirking, which annoys you. He has something up his sleeve and it’s written all over his face.

You finally get to your destination, and no matter how much you bug him for an answer, he refuses to give you a response. You furrow your brows when you realize you’re at the beach. It’s a little late for a beach day, so you’re questioning what you’re doing at the place.

“What are we doing here?” You ask him, but he refuses to give you an answer. Instead, he grabs your hand when you exit the car and drags you along. You’re not letting him get away so easily. “You’re so quiet today, what are you up to?”

Your eyes narrow as you see an odd scene at the beach. Are those… Candlelights? Rose petals? Oh, someone is getting proposed to, that’s good for them. It makes you wonder when Satoru will do the same— It’s not like you’re expecting it any time soon but seeing that makes you wonder.

Then it hits you. Satoru makes an abrupt stop and gets on one knee. Yes, someone is getting proposed to but it’s not a random stranger. Satoru is proposing to you. Your jaw drops, quickly followed by a gasp of pure disbelief.

“I love you so much—“ He begins his speech and you’re pinching yourself to check if this is reality. Two years ago you wouldn’t have imagined that Satoru would be proposing to you of all people. He’s in love with you. 

“Yes!” You exclaim, even when he isn’t close to being done to asking his question. “I’d love to marry you!”

Tears of joy well up in his eyes as he slides the very heavy rock on your finger. It fits just perfectly. Satoru stands up from the ground, kissing you ever so lovingly. After all, you are doing him the grand honor of becoming his wife— Allowing him to become your husband. 

He picks you up from the ground, spinning you around as if you were his prized possession. He tells you over and over again, “I love you, dear. So much.”

“Put me down, Satoru!” You chuckle, and he does as you ask of him. But he doesn’t let you go before filling your face with kisses first.

You would’ve never imagined that you’d end up here with him, but you did. And you couldn’t have asked for a better destiny.

[writingbuckets]

𝐡𝐢𝐭𝐬 𝐝𝐢𝐟𝐟𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐭

paige bueckers x reader

wc: 4.1k

a/n: this is a oneshot that i wrote months ago and edited a few days ago, somehow it's now a lot more than a one shot. wanted to post this between chapters (this has no relation to the hot take btw) while im continuing to write.. found this oddly relatable tbh <3

It’s one of those crisp autumn mornings where the air bites just enough to make you tug your jacket tighter around yourself, your fingers curling into the sleeves as a poor substitute for gloves you forgot to grab on your way out. The scent of fallen leaves lingers in the air, mingling with the faint aroma of freshly brewed coffee wafting from the campus café a few buildings over. Each step you take is accompanied by the satisfying crunch of golden and rust-colored leaves underfoot, the sound a small comfort in an otherwise quiet day.

Your headphones rest snugly over your ears, but they’re not playing anything. You told yourself you’d start a playlist or a podcast—anything to drown out the noise in your head—but your finger never quite hit play. Instead, the world is muffled, a half-hearted attempt to create distance between yourself and the people passing by, their chatter fading into a low, unintelligible buzz.

Silence has been your only companion lately, not by choice but by necessity. Words don’t come easily anymore, not when they’re laced with the sharp edges of memories you’re trying to bury. So, you wear the headphones like armor, hoping they’ll trick the world into thinking you’re occupied. That you’re fine.

You aren’t.

The hum of a fake distraction—an unheard podcast or a song you’ve played so many times the lyrics have lost their meaning—isn’t enough to dull the ache that sits heavy in your chest. It’s like carrying a weight you can’t put down, a constant reminder of everything you’re trying to move past.

It isn’t working.

You round the corner near the library, your gaze locked on the cobblestones ahead of you, tracing the uneven patterns without truly seeing them. The wind shifts slightly, carrying with it the faint murmur of voices—just background noise, indistinct and harmless. But then, cutting through the din like a melody you’d forgotten was stuck in your head, you hear it: her laugh.

You freeze.

It’s an instinctive reaction, your body stopping as if commanded by something beyond you. The sound is unmistakable, warm and familiar, a cruel echo of a time when it was meant for you. It’s lighter than you remember, tinged with an ease you haven’t felt in months. For a moment, you wonder if you imagined it, if your mind is playing tricks on you because you’ve replayed that laugh so many times in your head.

But you know better.

Your heart stumbles in your chest, skipping beats in a rhythm you can’t control. The world around you feels like it’s moving at half speed, the rustling of leaves, the chatter of passing students, all fading into a dull hum. It’s just you and that laugh, and it anchors you in place, even as every fiber of your being screams at you to keep walking.

You don’t. You can’t.

Instead, your head tilts ever so slightly, your eyes flicking up from the cobblestones as if pulled by an invisible string. The library looms ahead, its tall glass windows reflecting the bright morning sunlight, and there, just to the left of the entrance, is the source of the sound.

It’s her. Paige.

She’s standing by the bike racks, her golden hair catching the morning sunlight in a way that makes it look almost haloed, a painful reminder of how effortlessly radiant she’s always been. She’s wearing one of her oversized UConn hoodies, the sleeves pushed up just enough to reveal her forearms, and a pair of joggers that hang loosely on her frame. Her posture is relaxed but engaged, her hands moving animatedly as she speaks, the kind of gesturing she does when she’s caught up in something that excites her.

You follow the line of her gaze, and that’s when you see the girl standing opposite her. She’s petite, with cropped dark hair that looks like it belongs in a magazine ad, framing her face in a way that feels effortlessly chic. There’s an easy confidence about her, the kind that makes you immediately aware of her presence even if she’s just standing there. Her head is tilted slightly, her dark eyes locked onto Paige with an expression that’s half amusement, half curiosity.

The girl’s smile—soft, unhurried—only adds to the ache blooming in your chest. It’s the kind of smile that says they’ve been talking for a while, that whatever Paige is saying has managed to capture her full attention. She leans just slightly into Paige’s space, not enough to cross any lines but enough to make it clear she feels comfortable there. Too comfortable.

You notice the way Paige mirrors her, her own stance leaning slightly forward as she laughs at something the girl says. It’s not the polite, surface-level kind of laughter she uses with strangers or people she’s obligated to be nice to. No, this is something deeper, more genuine, the kind of laugh that used to be reserved for you.

The sight of them hits you like a punch to the stomach, sharp and sudden, knocking the air out of your lungs. Your feet feel rooted to the ground, unable to move, as if your body has betrayed you by forcing you to witness this. You try to tell yourself it’s nothing, that they’re probably just talking about basketball or class or something else entirely ordinary. But the way they look at each other makes it impossible to believe.

There’s an ease between them, a rhythm that feels natural, unforced. It’s the kind of thing you thought you and Paige had, back before everything fell apart. Back before the love you gave her started feeling more like a weight than a gift.

You don’t know why you’re still standing here, watching this unfold like some cruel scene in a movie you can’t turn off. Maybe it’s morbid curiosity, or maybe it’s that small, stubborn part of you that still aches for her, that still hopes for something that deep down you know will never come.

And as Paige leans back against the bike rack, her lips pulling into a soft, easy smile that lights up her face in a way you haven’t seen in months, you realize something else: she’s happy.

Just not with you.

You tell yourself it shouldn’t hurt. You repeat the words in your head like a mantra, willing them to sink in and dull the ache that’s building in your chest. It’s been months since the breakup—months of sleepless nights, hollow mornings, and the constant, gnawing sense that you’re not quite whole anymore. Months since you stood in the middle of her apartment, the walls closing in as your voice cracked under the weight of emotions you couldn’t hold back any longer.

You remember it so vividly, like a cruel film reel that plays on a loop in your mind. The way your hands trembled at your sides, clutching your chest as if that would keep your heart from shattering completely. You remember begging her to choose you, to see you in the way you saw her—not just as a passing comfort, but as someone she couldn’t imagine her life without. You laid everything bare that night, your heart, your soul, everything you had left to give.

She couldn’t. Or wouldn’t. You’re still not sure which one hurts more.

The worst part is, you never got a straight answer. Paige never said the words you needed to hear, one way or the other. Instead, she stood there, her silence louder than any rejection could’ve been. Her hands stuffed into her hoodie pocket, her eyes downcast, refusing to meet yours. She didn’t have to say it, not really. Her lack of an answer was an answer in itself.

And now, as you stand here on this crisp autumn morning, watching her bond with someone else, the pain you thought you’d buried rises to the surface all over again.

She laughs again, and this time, the other girl joins in, her laughter ringing out like a bell in the cool air. What could possibly be so funny? There’s something natural about the way they interact, as if they’ve known each other forever. And then the girl reaches out, lightly swatting Paige’s arm, her smile widening as Paige grins in response.

It’s such a familiar gesture, so effortlessly intimate, that it makes your stomach churn. You used to do that. You used to be the one standing by her side, making her laugh like that, your fingers brushing against her arm without a second thought. It was second nature then, the closeness between you so natural it didn’t need to be questioned.

Now, it feels like a distant memory. Like it belonged to someone else entirely.

You wonder if Paige notices. If she ever thinks about the small moments you shared, the way you used to trace patterns on her arm when you sat next to her, or the way she’d tease you just to see you roll your eyes before swatting her playfully in return. Does she remember those things, or have they already been replaced by something—someone—new?

The thought sends a fresh wave of pain crashing over you, sharp and unrelenting. It’s like seeing your place in her life erased in real time, like watching her rewrite your story with someone else in the role you once played.

And all you can do is stand there, frozen, as their voices continue to ring out, each sound driving the knife a little deeper.

You tear your eyes away, forcing yourself to stare at the path ahead, but it’s no use. Your chest tightens with every second you linger, a vice gripping your ribs as you wrestle with the urge to look back. Just keep walking, you tell yourself, over and over like a chant that might somehow drown out the pounding of your heart. She doesn’t see you. She’s too focused on the girl in front of her, on whatever effortless conversation they’re sharing, on the world that clearly doesn’t include you anymore.

But your feet betray you, refusing to move. You’re rooted to the spot, caught in a torturous limbo between wanting to flee and needing to see more. Your legs feel heavy, like they’re made of stone, and no matter how much you beg them to carry you away from this moment, they won’t obey.

So, inevitably, you glance back.

Your eyes land on them again, and the weight in your chest deepens. The way Paige looks at her…it’s different. It’s not the kind of look she gives her teammates when they’re joking around after practice, or the polite smile she flashes at fans during meet-and-greets. This is something else entirely.

Her gaze is light, unburdened, and warm in a way that makes you ache. It’s the kind of look she used to reserve for you—back when everything between you felt simple and easy, before the cracks started to show. There’s a softness in her expression that makes it clear she’s present, fully immersed in whatever the other girl is saying.

It’s a far cry from the way she used to look at you toward the end, when her eyes always seemed distracted, her mind a million miles away. You remember those moments vividly: sitting across from her at dinner, trying to fill the silence with light conversation while she scrolled through her phone or stared out the window. Or the times when her replies felt clipped, her tone detached, like her focus was anywhere but on you.

But here, with this girl, there’s none of that tension. None of the weight that seemed to cling to her when she was with you. She’s free in a way you haven’t seen in a long time, and it’s almost unbearable to witness.

You wonder if it’s because things with her are new, untouched by the complications that came with being part of Paige’s world. You know what that world is like—how it demands so much of her, how it chews up anything that doesn’t fit into the narrow space between her dreams and her reality.

Once upon a time, you thought you could exist in that space. That you could be her safe harbor, the person she came home to when the rest of the world felt too big. And for a while, you were. But eventually, the demands of her life became too much, and you started to feel less like her safe place and more like another weight she had to carry.

But seeing her now, so light and unguarded, makes it clear she’s found that freedom again. Just not with you.

For a moment, you hate yourself for standing here, for letting her have this power over you. You should’ve known better by now. You should’ve walked away when you had the chance, or at least been strong enough to not let her have this hold on you. But here you are, frozen in place, unable to tear yourself away from the scene unfolding in front of you. It’s pathetic, really. You told yourself you were over this, that you had moved on, but now you’re standing here, watching her laugh with someone else, and it feels like you’re right back at the beginning.

You should’ve known better.

Paige was always a force of nature, a hurricane that swept through the lives of everyone around her. She had this magnetic pull, this ability to draw people into her orbit without even trying, leaving them dizzy and disoriented in the wake of her presence. You’d seen it happen time and time again, watching her captivate room after room, effortlessly charming everyone she came across. You told yourself you’d be different, that you wouldn’t let her sweep you up in the chaos of her world.

But you were wrong.

And now, here you are, standing at the edge of her orbit, watching as she’s pulled into someone else’s gravity, her easy conversation ringing out with someone who isn’t you.

It hits different when you’re the one she left.

You’ve tried to convince yourself it was for the best, that it wasn’t her fault, that maybe you were never meant to be. But the truth is, you can’t shake the feeling that you weren’t enough. That no matter how hard you tried, you just couldn’t keep up with her, couldn’t fit into the space she carved for herself in the world. You weren’t strong enough to hold her attention, not when her dreams were always just a little bit bigger than the life you were building together.

You think about the nights you spent alone, tossing and turning in your bed, the ache in your chest that refused to go away. It was a familiar feeling, like a tight knot that twisted every time you tried to think about anything else. You replay your last conversation over and over in your mind, dissecting every word, every glance, trying to figure out where things went wrong. Was there something you missed? Was there something you should’ve said or done differently?

You think about how many nights you stayed up staring at the ceiling, your mind racing as you wondered if there was something, anything, you could’ve done to stop her from walking away. Maybe you should’ve tried harder. Maybe you should’ve been more patient, more understanding. Maybe, just maybe, if you’d given her more space or time, she would’ve come back.

But no amount of replaying or overanalyzing can change the fact that she’s gone.

And then you think about her. About how she’s standing there, smiling and laughing, her whole being lit up in a way that feels both beautiful and agonizing to watch. She’s living her life, as if the last few years with you never happened. As if the moments you shared, the plans you made, the quiet mornings and late-night talks—all of it—was just some passing memory she’s moved on from.

You wish you could be as free as she is, as unburdened by the weight of everything that’s left unsaid between you. But you can’t.

And as you stand there, watching her interact with someone else, the anger bubbles up from deep within you, raw and unrelenting. It’s not fair.

It’s not fair that she can move on so easily, as if the world hasn’t shifted beneath your feet. It’s not fair that you’re still stuck in this place, unable to let go, while she’s already building something new with someone else. You think about how long it’s been since you let her go, how many times you’ve told yourself you’re fine, but you know the truth. You’re not fine. Not yet.

And maybe you never will be.

You take a shaky breath, your chest tight and heavy with the weight of everything you’re trying to hold back. The last thing you want is to let her see you like this, weak and broken, still caught in the web she wove without ever knowing the damage it left behind. Finally, you force yourself to turn away, telling yourself this is the last time you’ll look at her like this. The last time you’ll let her tear your heart open.

The sound of her laughter follows you as you walk down the path, each step heavier than the last. It’s like the world is closing in around you, her voice lingering in the air, echoing in your ears as if it’s mocking you. A soft wind rustles the leaves, and the chill in the air only amplifies the emptiness inside you. You try to ignore it, focusing instead on putting one foot in front of the other, on pushing yourself away from the scene you’re not supposed to be a part of anymore.

Your vision blurs, and you blink rapidly, willing the tears to stay hidden until you’re far enough away to lose yourself in the crowd. The last thing you need is to cry in front of her. You don’t think you could bear it. Not now. Not after everything. You shove your hands deeper into your pockets, your body moving mechanically as your mind races with all the things you should’ve done differently. The ache in your chest makes it hard to breathe, but you keep walking.

Every step is like a small betrayal of the self-respect you’ve tried to rebuild over the past few months. You tell yourself it’s fine, that it’s just a moment, a fleeting weakness that will pass. But as much as you try to convince yourself, the tightness in your chest refuses to go away.

You don’t know if she ever thinks about you. If the nights you shared, the love you gave her, ever cross her mind. Maybe they do, in passing, in those quiet moments when she’s alone with her thoughts. Or maybe they don’t. Maybe the pieces of you she carried with her were too small to leave any lasting mark. Maybe the person she is now doesn’t even remember the version of herself she was when she was with you.

The thought stings, and it stings even more when you catch a glimpse of her in the corner of your eye, just as you turn the corner. 

Paige has stopped talking to the girl, her gaze shifting. She doesn’t say anything at first—just stands there, her eyes scanning the path ahead of her. And then, as if the universe itself has conspired against you, she turns her head, her eyes meeting yours from across the distance. It’s a split-second moment, brief, but in that flash, everything about you feels exposed.

For a moment, neither of you moves. Your heart races in your chest, the pulse hammering against your ribs as her gaze locks onto you. There’s something in her eyes—something soft, something almost apologetic, but it’s gone as quickly as it appears. She blinks, her posture shifting, a subtle tension tightening in her shoulders. But then her gaze drops to the ground, and she looks away.

You can’t be sure, but you think you saw her face fall just slightly. A brief, fleeting flicker of something—maybe sadness, maybe regret, maybe something else entirely—but it’s there, gone before you can make sense of it. It’s a look you haven’t seen in months, one you thought had long disappeared. A look that used to mean she cared. A look that, for a moment, made you believe maybe she did still think about you.

It’s like a punch to the gut, and it almost makes you want to turn back, to walk over to her and ask her what that look meant. But you know better than that. You know the answers won’t bring you the peace you crave. So, you force yourself to turn away again, swallowing the lump in your throat, keeping your gaze focused straight ahead as the sting of her eyes on yours lingers.

Either way, it doesn’t matter.

And maybe that’s for the best. Maybe it’s time to let go. But it doesn’t make it hurt any less.

By the time you reach the other side of campus, you’ve made a decision. A promise to yourself. You won’t cry over her anymore. You won’t give her that power.

You think about all the ways you’ve tried to move on—telling yourself it was for the best, that you deserve someone who’s not only there for you when it’s convenient, but always. That you’ll find someone who sees you for all that you are and doesn’t make you feel like an afterthought.

But as you round the corner of the building, the weight of everything still clings to you, wrapping around your chest, suffocating you. You push your thoughts aside, trying to keep walking, trying to outrun the rawness of it all. The hurt, the anger, the disbelief. But the faster you move, the heavier the ache feels.

You slip into the nearest building, your hands shaking as you push open the door, the cold air inside only adding to the discomfort that’s settled deep in your bones. You make your way down the hallway, keeping your eyes fixed on the floor, the weight of the moment pressing down on you with every step. The quiet hum of the building seems to echo the emptiness that’s followed you all day, and your chest tightens as you lean against the cold brick wall.

For a brief moment, you just stand there, trying to steady your breathing, willing yourself to feel anything other than this—anything other than the overwhelming ache that has consumed you since you saw her this morning.

But then, it happens.

The tears come anyway.

At first, it’s just one—a single tear that escapes despite your best efforts to hold it in. And then another. And another. They fall silently, tracing paths down your cheeks as your chest shakes with the weight of everything you’ve been holding inside. You hate how easy it is for the tears to come, how they betray every promise you’ve made to yourself. You told yourself you were done feeling like this, that you were moving on, that you wouldn’t let her have this kind of control over you anymore.

But it still hits different.

You weren’t prepared for it. You never are. You weren’t prepared for the way seeing her with someone else would make you feel like your whole world was crumbling, for the way she could still twist your insides with just one look.

And you realize, as the tears fall, that it’s not something you can just shut off, not something you can will away by sheer force. It doesn’t matter how many times you tell yourself you’re over it—this still hurts in ways you didn’t know were possible.

And it probably always will.

And then, as if the universe itself is mocking you, your phone buzzes in your pocket, the sound cutting through the quiet like a reminder that life doesn’t stop just because you’re falling apart.

You pull it out with trembling hands, wiping your eyes hastily as you glance at the screen.

It’s a text from Paige.

“Hey. Can we talk? Please?”

You stare at the words for a moment, as if they’re some kind of trick. You wonder if you’re just imagining it, if the universe is playing some cruel joke on you. But the message is still there, blinking on the screen, waiting for you to respond.

You don’t know what to do with it. You don’t know what to feel.

Part of you wants to ignore it, wants to throw your phone across the room and pretend you never saw it, pretend like you’re stronger than this. But another part of you—one you’re terrified to acknowledge—wants to open the message and respond, to let her back in, even though you know you shouldn’t.

You’ve already been down this road before, and you don’t think you can go through it again.

But as you stare at the message, your heart pounding in your chest, the question hangs in the air: Does it matter if she wants to talk? Will it change anything?

And somewhere, deep down, you know the answer.

But you also know you’re not ready to completely let go, not yet.

[pboogerswbb]

TOO LOST IN YOU - part I (reupload)

Paige Bueckers x bartender!oc

Dislaimer: player!p is very present in this fic so please do not read if that bothers you. this is not a true depiction of what i think paige is like but merely a character

Warnings: toxic!p, SMUT, language

Wordcount: 6.2K

A/N: if you're looking at this like it looks familiar... it's because it is. i'm reuploading because i accidentally deleted part 1 which had almost 800 notes sooo uh yeah ANYWAYS go enjoy this and the other parts, perhaps it's a good time for a re-read before the final part?

-

“Yo I’m about to get fucked up tonight” A strong voice comes through from the bar entrance.

I would recognize that voice anywhere. Before I even lift my gaze I’m brought back to the memories of her talking into my ear mid shift, hands on my waist, soft whispers in my ear telling me how good I looked. Or the flashing images of her in my bed on top of me, sweat dripping down her back, talking me through it inbetween groans. The images I replayed over and over in my head, a lot more than I’d like to admit - more than was okay for someone who had called the whole thing off between us anyway. 

In a panic I quickly bent down to hide behind the bar, pretending that scrubbing the sticky liquor stains off the floor was of the utmost importance. All just to get away from having to serve her.

“Hey, can you get this one, I’m dying for a break” Natalie, my co-worker, says - clueless to the hiding or the cause of it. For a moment I consider faking a heart attack, throwing a glass at her, or simply screaming “no”. But her round eyes (and the fact I needed to keep this job to pay the bills) softened me. With a deep breath I nod and stand up behind the bar, as Natalie walks off. Leaving me face to face with her.

She’s standing in front of me - Paige. It had been weeks since I had seen her last, doing everything in my power to avoid her. My eyes can’t help it though when they travel from her long fingers to her veiny hands to her broad shoulders that I swear had filled out even more in the weeks I hadn’t seen her. My gaze roams over her neck and my knees almost buckle at the memory of burying my head there, leaving open mouthed kisses on her pale skin.The way it bruised and reddened. The navy blue Uconn trackies made her skin even brighter, and I swear she glowed a little. Finally, my eyes land on her bright blue eyes that are already staring at me, heavy lidded, needy even. The way always looked when she made her way to my dorm in the middle of the night, needing me.

Her eyes widen. “Oh… didn’t know you were working today” Paige says. It’s a lie. It’s clear in the strain of her voice, the way her fingers twitch. Last time we talked I told her I never wanted to see her again. But right now as she towered over me forcing me to tilt my head up to meet her gaze, I nearly forgot why.

“Whatchu want?” I ask, ignoring her statement already instinctively reaching for the grenadine. I knew her too well to pretend anything else. My stomach twisted uncomfortably thinking about how we had left things between us.

Paige pretends to think. “Uhh… a dirty shirley.” Her words are slightly slurred. She’d already been drinking. I move my eyes away from hers, unable to take the severity of her stare. The tension is broken, however, by a very drunk KK crashing into Paige and leaning over the bar. “also shots” KK adds and nudges Paige who smiles weakly, her eyes never leaving mine. With the way she looked I might’ve thought she had missed me - but I knew better. Paige Bueckers did not yearn for any girl. Certainly not me.

I smile widely at KK. “You wanna be more specific?” I ask, making the shirley with a rehearsed ease. I had made quite a few since Paige had taken a liking to me earlier in the year, coming over to Ted’s almost every night, sitting in the corner with her teammates watching me, tipping me way too much with that smug grin of hers. It would’ve pissed me off if she wasn’t so insanely, out of this world hot.

“Anything strong” KK snorts and I let out a chuckle, reaching for the vodka. “You got it.”

I set the drinks on the counter but Paige is quick to grab hers, her fingertips pressing into mine for just a moment. I nearly whimper at the contact, seeing how Paige’s jaw flexes and cheeks blush. She felt it as much as I did, the tension from the last time we slept together.

“Thanks…” Paige murmurs uncharacteristically quiet. KK rolling her eyes and scoffing, grabs the shots for her and the team. “Bro” KK shakes her head at the interaction, leaving the blonde alone with me to pay. I try to ignore the burn between my legs, watching her long fingers shuffling through cash in her wallet. It would take a gun for me to admit I had been thinking about those fingers during lonely nights and fuck, even nights spent with other people. No matter what no one ever measured up to how those fingers knew exactly what to do, which buttons to push.

“Keep the rest, ma” Paige says, snapping me out of my daydream. My mind is too hazy to take in the nickname. I can’t get a single word out before she’s already turning away, dirty shirley in hand and a stupid grin on her face. She had got to me and she was enjoying every moment.

–

Paige dangled over the bar, her eyes wide and searching, finally setting on me walking out from the back. She’s pushing her blonde hair off her face with a sloppy, uncoordinated movement, clearly feeling the alcohol. I stop her before she can speak though.

“If you want another one you gotta ask Natalie, I’m off my shift” I tell Paige, refusing to give her my attention the way she wanted.

“I know, you’re off this time every week” Paige chuckles and leans forward against her elbows on the bar. She was in a Uconn tee now, her biceps flexing, making me want to groan out loud. “we should talk.”

“We really shouldn’t” I say sternly, taking off the nametag I had been wearing. “pretty sure I said I never wanted to talk to you again.”

“Sure and you also called me a bitch but never stopped us from fucking before either” Paige says, a slight annoyance in her voice for not having me wrapped around her finger like she used to. She’s licking on her grenadine stained lips, chasing my gaze. I finally meet hers, ignoring the aching I felt looking at her, looking at me. I knew how this ended up unless I left. Now.

“I have class tomorrow” i sigh, walking around the bar towards the exit and throwing on my jacket. Before I know it Paige’s hand grips my arm holding me still. I can smell her around me. Grenadine and alcohol sure, but also the scent of her. The scent I looked for everywhere. Her eyes were pleading, like I was water and she was on fire. I almost forgot why I hated her, just for a second. 

“Lemme drive you ma” Paige pleads. 

“You can’t drive, you're drunk” I say, brushing her hand off of me. A feeble attempt as Paige’s free arm quickly snakes around my waist and pulls me in, her scent so strong now it’s making me dizzy.

“But I need to talk to you, been driving me crazy” She murmurs with a slight whine in her voice. For a moment I waver, her hand firmly on the small of my back, all her height towering over me. It made my head spin.

Paige takes it as a sign and leans closer, pulling me in tighter but I place my hand on her chest holding her back, suddenly aware of how empty the bar was and how the most famous person on campus probably shouldn’t be doing this in public. I notice the way her chest is heaving, mine doing the same. The fabric of the shirt underneath my fingertips felt all sorts of wrong, I needed it off of her immediately. No, I had to be stronger than this. 

But I wasn’t.

“Do you need a ride back to campus?” I ask her, swallowing. The way her tongue slides over her lower lip as she watches me forces a deep blush to set on my face. 

“Yeah, bad” Paige murmurs and I push her hands off me, wordlessly heading to the door with Paige following close behind. She hurries past me to open the car door for me. I would think it was sweet if I didn’t know that it was just one of her plays. One of the ways she made girls like me think she actually cared. She didn’t. She just wanted to fuck.

The air is tense as I start the car, praying Paige doesn’t notice the slight tremble of my hand. I’m not sure if it’s anger from what she did to me, or how weak her touch had made me feel. Paige slouches on the passenger seat, watching me with hooded eyes, leaning her head back against the seat. Her legs were spread wide apart, sweatpants pulled low enough for her Nike Pros to peak through. For a second all I want to do is pull the car up and climb on top of her and from the smirk on Paige’s face I can tell she’s having the exact same thoughts.

“Been missing you y’know-” Paige starts but I interrupt, knowing she had the tendency to talk herself right into my bed.

“Told you I never wanted to talk to you again, remember?” I say with a slight shake in my voice.

“Baby c’mon, you weren’t serious about that,” her hoarse voice filled with amusement.

“What the screaming didn’t seem serious to you?” I sigh my eyes strictly on the road. Paige let’s out a chuckle and leans forward on her seat.

“i just remember how bad i wanted to fuck that attitude out of you,” she chuckles and the car swirls on the road as i slap her only half seriously across the chest. I pull over on the road, parking the car.

“Get out” I tell Paige sternly, rage and annoyance swirling inside me. She had no right to be making light of the situation. Not after what she did, how bad it had hurt me.

Paige lets out a laugh. “Man you’re crazy” she tells me turning to face me. I face her too, the anger turning my cheeks even brighter. 

“I’m fucking serious. Get out,” I repeat my voice rising a little but it doesn’t have the desired effect. Paige just chuckles and shakes her head.

“KK always telling me I pick the crazy ones, I’m thinking she’s right,” Paige groans, not taking any initiative to get out of my car. I unbuckle my seatbelt and groan, getting on my knees to lean over Paige manspreading on the passenger seat, reaching for her door as she grabs my wrist, my face so close to hers I could smell the alcohol on her breath. The air in the car shifted, my annoyance turning into something that made my legs feel weak, as she licks her lips, her eyes on me. “M sorry ok,” Paige says, her voice low and hoarse now.

I fold, once again.

“I don’t wanna hear a word from you, mmkay?” I say clearing my throat and pulling back from her before I made some really, really bad choices.

“Yes ma’am,” Paige grins, satisfied by the effect she had on me.

I start the car and in silence we drive back to Storrs, the streets quiet on the dark tuesday night. Paige fiddles with the zipper of her hoodie, her nimble fingers needing something to do - always looking for something to toy with. 

I tried to shake the feeling of each cell in my body screaming for her, needing to feel her skin against mine. I knew we weren’t good for each other. She wasn’t good for me. Part of me wished she came to tell me she’s done fucking around. That I’m all she wants, better than all the countless other girls that spent nights in her bed. That I was different, special. Worth letting everyone else go for. Frankly, even if she told me all those things, each word I wanted to hear, I wouldn’t believe her. 

When you were with Paige, it never felt like you were one of many though. She knew how to make you feel like you were the only one. It was in the way her blue eyes roamed my face, in the whine of her voice - like she would die if she didn’t have me. She’d remember your favourite movie and your mother’s name and the way you liked your coffee. All just to go see some other bitch later and repeat the same routine with her. Even with the girls she fucked, she had to be the best. Not because they meant anything, but because that’s who she had to be - the best. A winner.

Paige stretches her arms behind her head, the grey Uconn tee hiking up just enough for the skin on her lower abdomen to peek out as I park the car. There’s a moment of silence, Paige staring at me intently.

“Look, I-” she starts but I quickly climb out of the car, not wanting to hear it. She’s quick to follow me though, her long limbs catching up to me quickly. 

“Ma, c’mon-”

“Don’t call me that,” I say, doing my best to sound stern as I head towards my dorm walking as fast as I could, Paige right next to me. The campus was empty, most students already in their dorms, spending the night in.

“Bro you gotta listen to me-”

“No I don’t, you got your ride now fuck off!” I yelp, entering the building as Paige holds the door open, still persistent on following me. “You said you’d keep your mouth shut so… keep it shut Paige.”

“Well… I lied” She murmurs still on my tail all the way to my door, watching me struggle with the lock, my hands shaky from the mix of anger and how bad the need between my legs had grown for her. Paige reaches over, unlocking the door for me, her hands brushing against mine. I close my eyes and sigh - I really had to get it together.

“Well yeah you do that huh,” I chuckle bitterly entering my dorm, Paige leaning against the doorframe, not letting me lock her out.

Paige chuckles and shakes her head. “Bro you’re being so dramatic, we both knew what this was when we got into it. It’s not like you didn’t fuck around too!” Paige raises her voice, slightly amused, slightly bitter.

The truth was, I hadn’t slept around. Since Paige first fucked me, she took over me, consumed me. I would never admit this to her but I couldn’t even think about anyone else. 

“God, you can be such a bitch I swear to-” I groan loudly, rolling my eyes but Paige interrupts me, stepping into my room.

“Me?! You’re the most psycho bitch I ever met-” 

“Psycho bitch?!” I’m screaming now, my body hot with rage. “It was you who told me you weren’t fucking anyone else with some other bitch’s bra under your bed! Not me!”

Paige groans and shuts the door behind her, throwing her head back in frustration. “It’s just something people say! You were in those purple panties too ma, I’m not responsible for the shit I say when you wear those,” Paige argues. I chuckle, turning to face her. She was staring at me, heavy lidded and jaw sharper than usual from biting her teeth together. Paige was getting pissed off, wondering if any pussy was worth this much trouble.

“You’re a fucking sociopath P!” I yell at her as she takes a step towards me, her eyes darkening. The blue in her eyes nearly gone from the way her pupils were blown out.

Paige grins smugly at me, licking her lower lip, looking me up and down. “Yeah? What else?” she says smugly, her big hands coming to hold me by my waist. The moment my eyes meet hers I knew it was over for me. Suddenly my legs felt weak, and my head spun.

“An asshole too,” I sigh, my voice breathy and more quiet. My body was immediately responding to her touch, Paige’s fingertips sliding underneath the hem of my shirt sending goosebumps everywhere.

“Yeah?” Paige grins, with a smug tone. I nearly fall over.

“Yeah,” I repeat, my chest heaving. 

“That’s too bad ma…” Paige murmurs, her eyes roaming from my eyes to my lips to my body. 

I furrow my brows, fighting to not let out a whimper as her fingertips rubbed up and down against my sides, carefully over each rib. Up and down.

“It’s too bad because I’ve been dying to fuck you,” She says with a low voice, eyes returning to meet mine. “Shit baby, watching you tonight, the way your ass looks in those jeans? Fucking killing me,” she adds shaking her head. Paige’s hand drifts down from my waist to my hips, all the way to my ass. Gripping it hard, hungrily with a groan. 

I can’t fight the whimper that spills from my lips, the way my eyes flutter shut just for a moment. Paige grins, watching my reaction. She pulls me closer by my ass, my body pressing against hers as she towers over me. Paige leans down, nuzzling her nose against my ear. And I don’t stop her, biting my lip, feeling the way my panties were growing damp already. Only Paige could have this kind of effect on me - one touch and a few words and that grin and I was hers. She knew it as well as I did and I hated her for it.

I was too weak to hate her right now though. Too far gone.

“But since you hate me so bad…” Paige whispers into my ear, her lips brushing against it as she left a few wet kisses right under it. “I should probably leave.”

In a haze I reach up to wrap my hands around her, my hand pressing against the back of her neck to keep her there. To make sure she didn’t go.

“No…” I nearly whine. Paige chuckles against my neck, kissing it slow and soft. Her hand kneads my ass again, like she had been dying to feel it..

“No? You want me to stay?” She says, teasing.

“Want you to stay,” I murmur, tilting my head to the side, my eyes shut now.

“Want me to get you right ma?” Paige asks hoarsely. My body feels like putty as she holds me against her, like she could do whatever and I could do nothing but watch. I didn’t feel in control. I never did with her.

“Y-yes,” I finally admit with a sigh.

Paige pulls away from my neck, her lips ghosting mine. Her breathing was heavy. She needed this just as bad as I did.

“Attagirl,” she murmurs and finally presses her lips against mine. I moan against her, Paige’s lips slide against mine hungrily - like all these weeks apart she had been underwater and I was air. She could finally breathe.

With a swift movement, Paige pulls my shirt off, leaving me in a bra and jeans as her lips return to mine with a groan. Paige’s tongue slides against my lower lip, begging for access. I open my mouth, my tongue meeting hers, my hands pulling on her t-shirt, feeling the muscles on her abdomen, earning a small whine from her.

“Fuck,” she whimpers and walks me back without breaking the kiss. The backs of my legs hit the edge of my bed, forcing me to fall over. Paige watches me hungrily, her mouth ajar just slightly as her eyes roamed my body. “So fucking sexy,” she groans, pulling her shirt off over her head before climbing on top of me in her sports bra.

Paige starts kissing my neck roughly, sucking and nibbling enough to leave bruises to remind me of her later. Her leg finds its way between my legs, quickly pressing against my core as her free hand roams my side, fingers sliding underneath my bra and kneading my breast.

“Fuck, P…” I whimper arching my back off the bed. The friction provided by her leg was the opposite of relieving, making me more aware of all the layers between our bodies. “Need these off,” I murmur breathlessly, my hands pulling the blue sweatpants down desperately as Paige’s open mouth moved from my neck to my jaw.

“Whatever you want baby,” she whispers, kicking off her pants. She was now on top of me in a sports bra and Nike pros, a silver chain dangling against my chest. Paige leans back a little, eyes roaming my body, shaking her head like she couldn’t believe I was real. Her blonde hair was down and tousled from the way I had been gripping it as she grabs a hair tie from her wrist, tying it back messily, licking her lips.

“Baby, I need to taste you or I might die.”

With that Paige brings her lips back to my neck, making her way down with a trail of wet, sloppy kisses between my breasts, down my stomach, my hip bones, her hands unbuttoning my jeans, shaky with need.  

I watch as she gets on her knees on the floor between my legs, watching my face as she pulls down my jeans painfully slowly. I buck my hips, needing her mouth on me so bad I felt lightheaded. Paige’s hands pin my hips down with a grin, eyes moving to my panties and the visible spot that had grown wetter under her gaze.

“Fuuuckk ma,” she groans, finally bringing her lips to my core, kissing over my panties.

I gasp and grip the sheets beside me, trying to buck my hips closer but Paige shakes her head, still holding my hips still. “Thought you hated me,” she murmurs against my core. I wanted to cry, needing her lips on my bare skin. The feel of her mouth through my panties wasn’t enough.

“I do,” I whine, squirming in frustration, throbbing with need. I wanted to hate her, I really did. But when she was between my legs, pinning me down, a chain on her neck and that smirk on her face, I simply couldn’t. 

Paige brings her hand to my hip, finally pulling my panties down to my ankles, her eyes never leaving my core. With a bite of her lip, she brings her finger to my cunt, already soaked, all for her. Her fingertip presses against my clit menacingly, enough to make me gasp.

“If you hate me so much then why are you this wet huh?” Paige teases with a gravelly voice starting to circle my clit slowly, drawing out whimpers from my lips. My legs immediately trembled, and I watched her with heavy eyes and furrowed brows, nearly unable to think yet alone speak.

“You’ve been such a bitch all night shoulda known you just needed to be fucked,” she chuckles, pressing her fingers harder against my clit, making me let out a moan. It had been weeks since we last did this yet the way she touched me seemed practised and effortless, like she had been doing it every single day of her life.

“Fuck you,” I moan arching my back as Paige bit on my inner thigh, the veins in her forearm turning visible from the strain of rubbing my clit. 

“Nah ma,” she breathes out, shaking her head. “I’mma fuck you. Just need to taste this pussy first,” Paige groans and leans over, both her hands gripping my inner thighs harshly, forcing them apart as she dives in face first, her lips quickly attaching to my clit.

“Shit. Paige, I-” I moan, unable to come up with any comprehensible thought, Paige’s tongue lapping me up like she really would die if she didn’t taste me. Paige’s eyes are fluttering shut and she’s moaning against my cunt, unable to get enough.

“Fucking missed this pussy so bad,” she murmurs against me, wrapping her lips around my clit and sucking. “Taste so fucking good, never gonna get enough of you,” she rambles on, making quick mess of me. It doesn’t take long for the coil in my stomach to tighten, my hand gripping onto Paige’s blond hair, falling out of the bun now. 

“Paige-” I whine, throwing my head back, feeling her tongue swirling in my folds. The sheets underneath me were growing damp, wetness dripping out of me from how good she was eating me out.

Paige pulls away spreading my folds apart with her fingers. “Shit ma she loves me huh,” she groans at the sight of me dripping all over the bed. Without warning she pushes two fingers inside me, all the way as deep as she could. 

“OH fuck P” I gasp loud, bringing my eyes to her face, glistening from the mess I had made. She groans, my cunt tight and wet around her fingers as she curls them against me, her bicep flexing as she does. I moan loudly, throwing my head back, my legs shaking bad. Paige’s thumb rubs against my clit harshly as she pumps her fingers into me.

“P… mmph, please,” I cry out, not even sure what I'm pleading for. 

“Shh,” Paige coos, her hand reaching up to cover my mouth and shut me up. “Listen ma,” she says and groans. The room is filled with the sound of my wet cunt, as her fingers slam into me faster, curling harder. My cheeks burn up, almost embarrassed at the state that she had me in.

Paige grins watching my face. “Don’t sound like you hate me, huh,” she murmurs, a bead of sweat dripping down her face. “No one else gets you this wet right? No one fucks you like this,” she groans, hand moving from my mouth to gripping my jaw, making me watch her fingering me.

“Mmmh,” i whimper and grip the sheets harder, overwhelmed with the fullness her fingers were bringing me. I wanted to look away, unable to take the way her arm looked, muscles flexing, veins prominent, as she worked me. It was all overwhelming me as the pleasure built enough to make me shut my eyes.

“Answer me,” Paige commands, her voice stern and her hand moving faster. 

“Shit… No one.. No one fucks me like this,” I cry out, unaware of what was coming out of my mind. Too fucked out to care.

“Shit, that’s right. No one baby, only me,” Paige murmurs, her mouth returning to my clit, tongue working against it as her fingers fill me up, overwhelming me and getting me to my peak.

“P- I’m close,” I cry out, my legs nearly shutting but Paige grips my thigh with her free hand, spreading me open for her.

“That’s it ma, s’ good for me,” Paige coos working harder, her fingers curling inside me, tongue flicking against my clit. “Come for me baby,” she praises, groaning against me.

“Oh-” I whine and my head lulls back, as my core tightens around her, my legs trembling, her movements coaxing my orgasm out of me. Who cared she slept around, who cared I was supposed to hate her. In this moment, it was just me and her. And no one made me feel like she did, no one took care of me like this.

“Perfect fucking pussy, all for me,” Paige groans against my cunt, working me as I released all over her, the pleasure washing over me in waves. My moans turn to whimpers as I slowly come down, her movements slowing too.

I let out a breath, feeling the aching emptiness inside me as Paige pulled her hand away. She watches my pulsing cunt, mesmerised and hungry. The thing about Paige, one was never enough for her. Her lips kissed around my clit before pulling away, licking her lips from my slick. 

“Missed how you taste baby,” she murmurs while I lay back, trying to catch my breath. Paige brought her fingers against my lips, sliding them into my mouth. I wrap my lips around her fingers, tongue swirling around them, tasting myself. Paige hisses, watching me sucking on her fingers. With a groan she climbs back up, kissing me hungrily. The taste of me, and her saliva all mixing together. 

Her lips move against mine, the kiss filled with something more tender than pure lust. My arms wrap around her shoulders, pulling her in as we move up towards the headboard of the bed. Paige breathes heavy through her nose, kissing me with all the need she had, her hand holding my face by my jaw. I move my hand from her shoulder, down her arm squeezing her bicep, all the way to the band of her Nike Pros, tucking on them.

“Need to feel you P,” I admit in a moment of weakness, my heart fluttering with how good it felt to be underneath her again. I needed all of her.

Paige pulls back a little, breathing heavy and I swear her eyes are filled with tenderness for just a second as they meet mine. Her fingertips trace my jaw and lower lip before letting go and pulling down the fabric I was tugging on, lips parted from need. My eyes roam her sports bra covered chest, down the muscles of her abdomen finally to her core. I swallow hard, my mouth suddenly going dry.

I reach up and flip us over, with some help from Paige who was much stronger. She grins, watching me on top of her, straddling her thigh as I lean down and kiss her hard. Paige is quick to place her hand on my ass, gripping it harshly and hissing at how good it felt to touch me. My hand trails down her abdomen, fingertips itching to feel her cunt but she grabs my wrist, shaking her head.

“Ride me ma,” she says, half commanding, half pleading. I open my eyes meeting her eyes and I realise, she is fully pleading. 

“Need to feel that pussy on mine.” Shit.

Too weak to fight or to make her beg, I manoeuvre myself between her legs, angling her body just right, Paige’s other leg up in the air in my grip. Paige watches me, leaning back against the bedframe, eyes half shut and mouth agape, looking so good I could’ve burst.

Finally, I lower myself against her, feeling the slick of her cunt press against mine. 

“Ohhh shiiit,” Paige groans, watching our cores pressing against each other. I whimper, pressing on her lower abdomen to find just the right angle. 

“Oh,” I whine, feeling her pressing against my clit just right, my body immediately trembling, still sensitive from my previous orgasm.

Paige’s head lulls back at the same time, as she lets out a guttural groan, gripping my ass and forcing me to start moving my hips.

I do so, slowly, drawing it out for her - just the way Paige loved and simultaneously hated. Her breathing was getting heavier as she watched me. “Just like that,” she whimpers, trying to keep herself together. It never lasted for long.

I moan, grinding my cunt into hers, watching her face scrunch up in pleasure. Her hands snake around me, unclasping my bra with ease, letting my tits fall out as she groans. 

“Look so fucking good for me,” she murmurs, a slight whine in her voice as she leans forward, her mouth attaching itself to my nipple, tongue circling it as i ride her faster, mind spinning once more. “Such a bitch huh who knew you’d be so good for me,” Paige whines and I grip her shoulders, steadying myself, letting my nails dig into her skin as she hisses.

“You’re the bitch,” I whimper breathlessly, letting out a gasp when she bites my nipple. Paige’s hand are digging into the skin of my ass, forcing me to move faster, her hips bucking into me. She chuckles, breathing heavily, head falling back against the bedframe. “Shut the fuck up and ride me ma,” she hisses, gripping my jaw and forcing my gaze to lock on her face.

I hiss, furrowing my brows as i look down at her, moving my hips desperately, our cunts grinding together harshly, igniting that familiar burn inside me.

“That pisses me off, pretending you don't want me. Pretending you don’t want me to fuck you, it’s bullshit,” Paige groans, fighting back her own orgasm now. Her words shook and the muscles in her abdomen were contracting as she looked up at me. “Look at you now riding my shit, being a slut for me,” she rambles on. “You’re my slut ma,” Paige moans bucking her hips into mine, eyes fluttering shut from pleasure.

My nails dig into her skin harder, my whole body trembling. I was close, and it only made me ride harder, grind against her faster, the slickness of her cunt making me wetter. Paige’s hand squeezed my jaw, forcing my eyes open.

“Tell me.. Shit- tell me you’re my slut,” Paige whines. She’s desperate for it, barely aware of the words coming out of her mouth.

“Mmph, P-” I moan, my cunt throbbing.

“Aw shit- I- Tell me,”

“Fuck I am, I’m your slut P, please,” I mewl, my eyes growing wet as they shut.

“That’s right ma, fuck- ride me so good you’re gonna make me come,” Paige murmurs out inbetween moans, hands gripping my jaw and ass so tight I’m nearly bruising underneath her grip.

My whole body shook and I cried out, barely able to keep grinding my cunt into hers. But when I heard the moan that slipped from her lips, and felt her mouth attach itself to my neck, I knew I’d do anything to get her to fall apart beneath me.

“P- I’m-” I cry out but she interrupts me.

“Me too baby, shit- ride me so- aw fuck- fucking good,” Paige rambles, barely able to form sentences as she moves underneath me, the friction growing unbearable between us as she lets out a guttural moan, her body coiling underneath me. 

“Fuck-” Paige finally moans.

That’s enough to get me there too, coming against her cunt, fingernails leaving marks on her shoulders as I kept grinding my hips, movements turning sloppy as i whimpered on top of her.

My body trembles, eyes still closed when I feel Paige’s hands wrapping around my body and pulling me down. My naked body presses against her skin as she soothingly rubs my back, nuzzling her nose into my hair.

“Meant it when I said I missed you,” she murmurs into my ear, still out of breath. I bury my head into the crook of her neck, brushing her hair gently. It was moments like these that got me confused. You didn’t do this just for someone you fucked. Except Paige did.

“Don’t like fightin you,” she whispers, pressing a kiss on my temple. I feel my heart fluttering in a way I didn’t want it to for Paige. But I’m too tired to fight it. I press a kiss on her jaw, gently and pull my head back to meet her gaze. She looks completely fucked out, mascara smudged under tired eyes. Her hand reaches up to brush a strand of hair off my face before she leans over and kisses my forehead, as tenderly as humanly possible. Maybe this was her trying to show me I was in fact different, that she was done with the other girls. She just wanted me. 

“Don’t like fighting you either,” I whisper, resting my chin on her chest. Paige’s eyes are filled with relief, as she smiles weakly. 

“I’mma get us some water, okay ma?” Paige hums and I nod, letting her crawl out of bed from underneath me. I watch pull her clothes back on and turn to me, smiling affectionately. She leans down and presses another kiss on my temple, smoothing over the blanket to make sure I was comfortable. “Just a sec,” she whispers before walking into the kitchen. Surely you don’t do that just for a girl you fuck. There’s no way you look at someone like that and proceed to sleep around with other people. My heart fluttered as I let my mind wander, finding myself fantasising of getting to call Paige mine. All mine.

Just then I heard Paige’s phone buzzing on the bedside table. Without my better judgement, I reach over, seeing 4 missed calls and 12 messages from a girl, asking where she was and when she’d be over. My heart sinks, the reality quickly bringing me back down from my daydreams. Paige wasn’t here because I was special. No. She was here because I was whipped, and she knew it. And I had given her every single thing she wanted.

[futbol16]

Only You  • Geyse da Silva Ferreira

Request:  so a part 2 to the geyse fic maybe??

Part 1 You and Her

Word count: 1,9k

Her thoughts are all jumbled up as she sits in her cubby and ties her cleats. She’s still replaying the memories from a week ago when she stayed at yours. She remembers how you’d pull her close every few seconds, how you made her taste the dish so many times before it was even done. You were so worried it wouldn’t turn out good even though you’ve made this same dish countless times for her and her siblings. 

But Geyse knew it would be perfect, everything you did was perfect. You were perfect.

A thump next to her breaks her out of her thoughts and she looks up at you curiously as a large smile forms on your lips. 

“Olá, meu amigo!" the reality of your relationship- or rather the lack of it- slaps her in the face but she still blushes as you bump shoulders with her. She mumbles out a quiet hi knowing by the smile on your face that you were waiting to start on your story of the day.

“Last Friday, Pina and I went out to this cool restaurant by the beach. I swear it was so cool! They had these like little fish in their-” the world quietens around Geyse as she hears the first words. 

She totally forgot about your plans with the short Spaniard. She almost even forgot that she had to worry about her.

Her face morphs into an unreadable expression as you continue your story about the fantastic date you had and in this moment Geyse can’t even stop to smile at the way you flail your arms around as you animatedly over-explain everything.

Her thoughts make it impossible for her to focus on anything.

 “- and she got me this bracelet too! Look!” 

You shove your arm under her nose and she stares at the blue patterned bracelet. It was made out of a yarn-like material and Geyse had to admit the design looked beautiful. 

“That’s very nice Y/N” she gives you a small smile before turning back to her left boot which is still untied and you stare at her in confusion. However, you shrug it off. It wasn’t unusual for Geyse to not want to talk a lot, as her best friend you understood that the most.

Eventually the team is herded out of the changing room and onto the field and instantly a pair of arms find their way around your waist. 

The Brazilian tries hard to ignore the sweet giggles coming from the two of you, but still her eyes glaze over with a jealous fire and she turns away with her jaw set tight. She almost fears she’ll break her own teeth with how hard she’s clenching her jaw and that almost happens when the coach pairs her up with the one teammate she dislikes the most.

She almost hates the way Claudia is still all smiles as she approaches her, how enthusiastic she is despite Geyse’s obvious distaste towards the girl. 

“Hola” the Spainard’s is spoken softly, Geyse’s less so as she grumbles back.

“Hola”

Training seems much longer than usual and the two remain paired up. Somewhere during, Geyse had come to the realization that maybe Pina wasn’t as bad as she thought. Truth be told, she knew the girl meant no harm but her feelings towards you overshadowed what she considered reality.

When training is over she decides she might just try to tolerate your relationship with the brunette. That is until Claudia hands her the medicine ball and her eyes dart to the accessory on the girl’s wrist, the same bracelet you were wearing.

She scoffs aloud as she realizes the two of you got matching bracelets, whether that was a platonic act or something more, Geyse still feels hurt.

She wasn’t going to let you know that though, she wouldn’t let anyone know. She pretends she doesn’t see Lucy’s eyes on her as the older woman watches her with a frown from her place next to you - you who was already striking up a conversation with Claudia. 

You immediately notice the shift in Geyse’s mood. Your best friend is more distant and you’re convinced she’s avoiding you. At first you left her alone, maybe all she needed was space. But after the fourth day you decide this can’t go on any longer and you approach her - more like you sit down next to her on your usual spot in the locker room.

It sort of forces her to not march out on you, she wouldn’t do that with so many of your teammates present.

“Geyse, Geyse, hey.” in your own manner you nudge her with your elbow but she only pushes your arm away. A deep frown appears on your face after that. “Geyse, meu amigo. Talk to me, what’s wrong?” 

Still, nothing. This time Geyse’s shoulders drop at the name you just called her and she heavily exhales through her nose. You sigh at her reluctance to even look your way and your eyes slightly water at her hostile behavior. 

You hated when people got mad at you and you didn’t know the reason why, especially if it was your Geyse. You hadn’t done anything wrong. 

“Please don’t push me away” it’s a plea, a barely audible plea that leaves your mouth in a hoarse voice as you recall the last time something like this happened between the two of you. Similar to now, you didn’t know what caused your best friend’s sudden cold behavior towards you. 

Of course Geyse knew, it was when the two of you were 20 and 22, when you had your first serious relationship. Geyse instantly knew the girl was no good for you, you deserved so much better and she was convinced she would have treated you much better. She didn’t tell you that of course.

Your defeated sigh brings her back to the present and with one last glance at the girl next to you, you silently pull your shirt over your head and exit the locker room. Geyse watches as you do so and as the door closes softly her eyes connect with someone's. Claudia stares at her with a disappointed look and the Brazilian can barely hold back on rolling her eyes at the girl.

You were known for your resilience, which is why it does not come as a surprise to Geyse when you approach her yet again the next day after training.

This time you catch her before she can follow the rest and you block her way from walking off the field. She makes the mistake of letting herself gaze into your eyes and she knows she won’t be able to stand her ground. Not with the way you were looking at her. 

And so she lets herself be dragged under the shade, she even lets you pull her down onto the grass and with the familiarity of the actions she doesn’t think before she lays her head back onto your stomach. A slight smile pulls at your lips. 

“What happened?” It is obvious what you're talking about yet the girl resting against you decides to act oblivious.

“Hm? What do you mean?” you lightly scoff at her and she visibly winces at the sound, turning her head towards you. 

“Não aja de forma estúpida” you tell her in an almost strict manner and she nods in agreement, your gaze on her not allowing her to say no. You always made sure she was comfortable to tell you about her worries. It seemed like even when Geyse feared she might lose you while doing so, she still couldn't not tell you.

“I just- I don’t know. It got me a bit jealous or whatever” she shrugs in thought, though not breaking eye contact with you as she tells you honestly.

“I didn’t really expect it I guess- and I get it. You know, feelings are hard, they are. But it’s fine, I just want you to be happy and if it’s Claudia that makes you happy…” once again she trails off, this time focusing on the soft touches from you as you trace her braids. Your movements suddenly come to a halt and she opens her eyes in confusion.

“What?” your voice is laced with the same confusion her stare holds, your mouth slightly agape.

“You and Pina, guess you guys are kind of cute” Lie, she thought you’d be much cuter with her arm around your waist, with her lips on your cheek, with you laughing at her jokes. Not Claudia.

Realization dawns on you and you don’t hide the slight uptick of your lips. There’s a beat of silence that passes by and your smile only widens until a giggle escapes your mouth. Geyse smacks her forehead at your antics.

“Tell me what’s funny now”

“Nothing- nothing” you giggle through it until your soft eyes settle on hers and you watch as she melts under your gaze, a slight pink tint to her cheeks.

“It’s just that I never thought you’d be jealous. Like I wasn’t expecting that to be the reason why you were avoiding me”

“I wasn’t avoiding-” her words grow quiet at the look on your face and she cocks her head to the side bashfully. “- and I wasn’t jealous! Why would I be jealous?” your hand resumes its actions as you mess with her hair, a giddy feeling in your stomach. Complete contrast to the panic Geyse is feeling.

“Geyse, it’s not a bad thing”

“It’s not?” she eyes you in bewilderment and you nonchalantly shrug at her as you prop yourself up on your elbows to have a clearer look at her. 

“No, not really. Because-” the spell you have on her is insane as you reach for her and your hand settles on her jaw. She’s shy, it’s extremely obvious as she leans into your hold but she lets you tug her up and slowly, very slowly she leans closer to you.

“What are you doing?” she whispers nervously as you bring her face closer to you and her hand lands on the grass below the two of you as she holds herself up. The confident look from before is long gone from your face as you lay your true feelings out in front of who you’ve called your best friend for the past 6 years. 

Still, you carefully stroke the curve of her jaw line and the girl in front of you gasps in a way you’ve never heard. Geyse’s eyes jump from your eyes to your lips and they stay there.

“I’m doing what I should have done when I was 16” with that you connect your lips in a tender kiss, Geyse’s hand cradling your own face. The two of you melt into each other as Geyse deepens the kiss and knits her eyebrows together, trying to savor the feeling of being so close to you. Of becoming one with you. She’s waited so long for this and she wasn’t going to let you go now. 

The two of you pull away for air but you don’t go far as Geyse dips her head to catch your lips in another passionate kiss as she gently pushes you back on the grass. You’ve never seen this bold side of her, in the six years you’ve known Geyse, she was never the confident one. Yet, in this moment she has single handedly reversed the roles and you become putty in her hands.

The large smiles that break out across your faces force you to separate and Geyse exhales in delight while you press another quick kiss to her cheek.

“I told you there was nothing between me and Pina” 

[startseeingstars]

Maybe It’s Fate - Samuel Lafferty (UTBOH)

CH10

The morning light crept through the blinds, warm and golden, slowly rousing you from sleep. You blinked, rubbing your eyes, but then froze. Was Sam still here? You’d let him sleep on your couch, but you weren’t sure he would actually stay the night. Anxiousness tugged at your chest as you pulled your dress on, and fixed your hair.

You were ashamed to admit that his words had stirred something inside of you yesterday. He still wanted you. And you couldn’t deny you wanted him, but it felt wrong. Sarah was his wife. Curiosity had stirred your thoughts and kept you from a peaceful sleep as you replayed your conversations. Did Sam really have multiple wives? Or at least, sexual partners? The idea churned your stomach and you had to push the thought away. You’d come to terms with Sarah over the years, but others—the image was too painful.

Relief flooded you when you walked out and saw the outline of Sam on the couch. Your heart fluttered inside your chest.

He’d stayed. Despite everything, he’d stayed, and that wasn’t something you’d expected.

You crept into the kitchen, careful not to wake him. As you whisked some pancake batter together, you stole glances at him occasionally, still curled up on the couch, his face softened in sleep, the weight of the previous night’s emotions still lingering between you.

Part of you still couldn’t believe he was here, like it was some kind of dream you were waiting to wake up from. But no. He was real. And the warmth in your chest reminded you that you didn’t want him to leave.

Sam woke slowly, his body stiff and aching from the uncomfortable couch. The soft morning light made his eyelids flutter open, and the first thing he noticed was how unfamiliar it all felt—like waking up in a place he used to know, but somehow couldn’t quite fit into anymore.

He heard movement from the kitchen and the soft smell of something cooking. He realised you were awake, and there was something comforting in the rhythm of your movements, the sound of you humming softly to yourself while the radio played quietly in the background.

Sam sat up, rubbing his eyes, still grappling with the whirlwind of emotions from last night. His guilt, his doubt—it all mixed together like a storm in his chest. The memories of Brenda, of the family he had lost and the mistakes he had made, clung to him. And yet, as the smell of pancakes filled the air, he couldn’t help but feel the pull to find a sense of peace, even if it was only temporary.

He’d tried to block it out for so long. But in your presence, everything felt… different. Real. Right.

He stood and stretched, moving toward the kitchen, watching you in silence as you flipped the pancakes. His throat tightened, and for a moment, he was afraid to say anything, to ruin the fragile calm. But the pull in his chest was too strong, and before he could stop himself, the words tumbled out.

“Blueberry pancakes, huh?” he said quietly, his voice still rough from sleep. “You remembered.”

You paused, glancing over your shoulder at him, a soft smile tugging at your lips. “I didn’t forget. I remember a lot of things.”

His heart swelled at your words. You didn’t have to say anything more for him to understand. It was a reminder of who you’d both been, of a time when things hadn’t been so complicated. And for a fleeting moment, it almost felt like you could go back to that.

He sat down at the small kitchen table, the weight of his guilt still pressing on him, but the warmth of the moment easing it, just a little.

The pancakes came out perfect, golden and fluffy. You set the plate in front of him, the steam rising, and watched as he dug in. There was a soft, contented look on his face as he ate, and for a moment, you forgot about everything and just focused on the simple pleasure of the moment.

“I can’t remember the last time I had these,” Sam murmured between bites, his voice thick with emotion.

You had to bite your tongue, suppressing the urge to ask why Sarah hadn’t made them for him—but you knew deep down, your hurt wasn’t aimed at her.

The tension between you was thick, but it didn’t feel so heavy now. It felt like something that might still be able to be repaired.

“I don’t think I’ve ever really said thank you,” he said suddenly, his words catching your attention.

You tilted your head slightly, confused. “For what?”

“For the pancakes,” Sam said with a soft chuckle. “For everything. You always made sure I was okay, even when I didn’t deserve it. Even when I—” He stopped, unsure if he should continue. But the words slipped out anyway, just like everything else. “Even when I didn’t know how to be the man you needed me to be.”

You didn’t say anything right away, but your heart ached at his confession. Cautiously, you moved to sit beside him at the table, letting your hand lightly brush against his. “I’m just… I’m just glad you’re here.” You admitted quietly.

Sam’s hand instinctively curled around yours, and for the first time in what felt like forever, he allowed himself to be honest. Completely honest. With her. With himself.

The weight of the past seemed to lift, if only for a moment, as if both of you were realising that maybe, there was a way forward. It wasn’t going to be easy, or simple - but maybe there was a way.

xxx

You finished your shower, hair damp from the intense wash you’d given it to try and distract yourself with a glimpse of normalcy. You had needed time to process everything that had been said, and everything that had happened between you and Sam.

But when you returned to the living room, you found him sitting on the couch, looking through old photos of you and Brenda. It caught you off guard, and your heart thudded painfully inside your chest.

You stepped toward him, letting your hand brush over his arm. He looked at you, eyes darker than you remembered, but there was no anger. Only a quiet ache that you felt you could almost touch.

“Sam,” you said softly, voice filled with care. “You don’t have to carry all of this. What happened, what your brothers did… it’s not your fault. And you don’t have to keep blaming yourself.”

His breath hitched, and for a moment, you thought he was going to pull away, but he didn’t. He just stayed there, looking at you, as if the weight of your words had reached him.

“I know,” he said quietly. “But I still feel like I should’ve done something. Like I should’ve stopped it.”

“You are just one person,” you replied gently. “You couldn’t have stopped them. You can’t punish yourself for their actions - for things you couldn’t control.”

Sam closed his eyes, his fingers gripping the photo frame in his hands. It was Brenda, smiling that wide grin of hers, arms wrapped around you. You had no idea how much he’d hurt seeing this.

“You think God can forgive me for what happened?” he asked, voice barely a whisper.

You sat beside him, hand resting lightly on his. “I believe in redemption. In second chances. And I know He’ll forgive you if you let him.”

Sam’s eyes met yours, searching. There was a flicker of something there—hope, maybe, or something close to it. He didn’t say anything for a long time. But it felt like the tension between you eased, just a little. You weren’t asking him to be perfect, or even asking him to believe in anything he didn’t want to believe in.

It was quiet for a while, but the silence wasn’t uncomfortable.

Sam’s calloused fingers brushed against your cheek, tucking a stray strand of hair behind your ear. The touch was gentle, hesitant, as if he were afraid you might shatter under the weight of it. You froze, your breath catching in your chest, and when you glanced up, his gaze was steady—too steady. There was a warmth in his eyes that you hadn’t seen in years, a flicker of the man you’d once known.

“You’re just as beautiful as the first day I saw you,” he said softly, the words unraveling something tight inside you.

You didn’t know what to say to that. Your throat tightened, and you could only manage his name, barely a whisper. “Sam…”

He smiled faintly, his eyes unfocused, like he was replaying a memory he’d kept buried. “You were wearing that light blue dress,” he continued, his voice low. “The one with the tiny flowers on it. Your hair sat in loose waves over your shoulders, with that little flower hairpin.”

Your heart skipped a beat. “You remember that?”

“I remember a lot of things.” His lips twitched, the smile widening as his gaze dropped slightly. “And you had powdered sugar on your nose. From the donut you were eating.”

A startled laugh broke free from your lips, cutting through the tension. “I can’t believe you noticed that.”

Sam’s chest ached at the sound of your laugh, so familiar and yet so distant. He hadn’t realized how much he’d missed it until now. “Of course I noticed. You were the only thing I could look at that day.”

The weight of his words wrapped around you, pulling you closer, and you couldn’t look away from him. The years between you, the pain and the distance—they all blurred into nothing. You weren't sure whether you wanted to cry or lean into him.

Sam leaned in first. It wasn’t rushed or demanding; it was slow, deliberate, like he was giving you the chance to pull away. But you didn’t want to pull away. Your lips met his, and everything else melted away—the guilt, the fear, the uncertainty. His lips were warm and familiar, and you hated how much you’d missed this, how much you’d missed him.

Sam’s hands slid to your waist, grounding you, holding you so close as if afraid you might disappear. He’d dreamed of this moment for years, and now that it was here, it felt too fragile, too fleeting.

But then you pulled back, hands pressing gently against his chest. Your heart raced as you stepped out of his hold, fingers trembling. “Sam, we can’t…”

The look on his face nearly broke you—confusion, hurt, and something else, something deeper. “Why not?” But he knew why.

You took a shaky breath, your voice breaking as you spoke. “Because of Sarah. Because of your children. I feel awful, Sam. I can’t tear your family apart.”

Sam’s jaw tightened, his hands clenching at his sides. “I love my children,” he said, his voice rough. “But my marriage to Sarah… It’s for show. It always has been. I’ve never loved her—not the way I love you.”

The words hit you like a blow, and you had to steady yourself against the back of the couch. “You’re married,” you said again, almost to remind yourself. “You made your choice, Sam.”

“I made the wrong choice,” he admitted, his voice cracking. “I should have chosen you. I should have married you, Nora.”

The raw emotion in his voice was too much, and your chest tightened painfully. You wanted to believe him, to let yourself fall back into his arms and forget everything else. But how could you? How could you trust this moment when everything about it felt like a betrayal of not only you, but someone else?

You met his gaze, eyes burning with unshed tears. “You can’t rewrite the past, Sam. We both have to live with the choices made.”

His shoulders sagged, and for the first time, you saw the full weight of his guilt and regret. But instead of walking away, he stepped closer, his voice barely a whisper. “I don’t know how to let you go again.”

Neither did you. And that was terrifying.

xxx

The morning had been heavy, but by late afternoon, the air between you and Sam had lightened, like a storm giving way to a quiet sunset. He spent most of the day nearby, alternating between watching television and flipping through the books on your shelf. His presence was unobtrusive, yet grounding, like he belonged there without needing to announce it.

At one point, you walked into the living room and froze in the doorway, stifling a laugh. Sam was sitting cross-legged on the couch, entirely absorbed in one of your well-worn romance novels. His brow furrowed as he read, and then his eyebrows shot up when he stumbled upon one of the racier scenes.

The old Sam might have slammed the book shut and looked away, embarrassed. But this Sam, the one sitting comfortably in your living room, glanced up at you with a quiet curiosity instead. His lips quirked, almost imperceptibly, like he knew you’d caught him.

You quickly ducked your head, busying yourself with your crossword puzzle at the kitchen table, pretending you hadn’t noticed. But you couldn’t help but feel a blush creeping up your neck when you caught him shifting in his seat, clearing his throat, and setting the book down. He excused himself to the bathroom, and for a moment, your mind wandered somewhere it shouldn’t. You shook your head, silently chastising yourself, and returned to your puzzle.

When Sam came back, his sleeves rolled up and his demeanor as composed as ever, he offered to help you with the chores. His insistence warmed you, even though the tasks were mundane—folding laundry, washing dishes, jotting down a grocery list. He approached everything with quiet focus, his hands brushing yours occasionally as you worked side by side.

Later, the two of you settled at the kitchen table, each with a crossword puzzle in front of you. Sam frowned at his paper, the pencil hovering over an empty square.

“What’s a five-letter word for ‘1980s sci-fi movie with a famous bike scene’?” he asked, his voice earnest but tinged with confusion.

You smiled, leaning over to peek at his puzzle. “E.T.,” you said, biting back a laugh.

“That’s two letters,” he pointed out, his tone skeptical.

“Yes, but the clue is about the title of the movie. Trust me, it’s ‘E.T.,’” you said, tapping the paper.

He gave you a dubious look, then filled in the squares with a dramatic sigh. “I don’t think these puzzles were made for me,” he muttered, shaking his head as if the answer had personally offended him.

You chuckled softly. “Not a big movie buff, I see.”

“I guess not. But I’m starting to think I missed out on a lot the last few years,” he admitted with a small smile, glancing at you from the corner of his eye.

“Well,” you teased, “you’re lucky I’m here to fill in the gaps.”

He looked at you for a long moment, his smile softening just slightly. “Yeah,” he said quietly. “I am.”

As the day wound down, you both lingered in the quiet comfort of each other’s presence. The sun dipped below the horizon, casting a warm glow through the windows. Sam didn’t seem in a hurry to leave, and you found yourself hoping he wouldn’t.

At one point, as you reached for your mug of tea, your hand brushed his. It wasn’t deliberate, but neither of you pulled away immediately. Instead, his fingers lightly curled around yours, just for a moment, as if testing the waters.

You glanced up at him, your breath hitching at the soft look in his eyes. “Thanks for today,” you said quietly.

He nodded, his voice equally soft. “I should be thanking you.”

Neither of you said anything about when he might leave, and neither of you wanted to. The spell of the day would break eventually, but not yet. Instead, you exchanged a quiet goodnight, the weight of unspoken feelings lingering between you as you both retreated to your separate rooms.

xxx

When you woke, the sunlight was streaming through the thin curtains, casting soft golden patterns on the walls of your empty bedroom. You blinked against the brightness and turned over, climbing out of the bed that suddenly felt bigger since Sam’s return. You walked out, expecting to see Sam still asleep on the couch, but the blanket was folded neatly, the pillow tucked on top. Your heart sank as you realised he was gone.

You pulled your dressing gown tighter around your shoulders, gaze darting around the room. That was when you noticed the folded note sitting on the coffee table. Your name was scrawled across the front in Sam’s unmistakable handwriting.

Your fingers trembled as you unfolded the paper. The letter was long, the handwriting uneven, as though his emotions had spilled into every word.

Nora,

I didn’t know what to say to you yesterday because there are no words that can undo what I’ve done or make up for the time I’ve taken from us. But I do know this—I’m in love with you. I never stopped loving you, and I can’t live with myself if I don’t try to make things right.

I need to fix this. I need to face my mistakes and figure out a way to move forward. I don’t deserve your forgiveness, but I’m going to do everything I can to earn it. Please don’t give up on me. I’ll come back to you soon.

—Sam

Your heart twisted painfully as you read and reread the letter. Part of you wanted to believe him, to believe that he could change, that you could somehow have a future together. But the years of pain and loss had left scars too deep to ignore. You folded the letter carefully, leaving it to lie on the coffee table. You needed time to think, to breathe.

The days passed in a blur. You kept yourself busy, throwing yourself into work and the routine of daily life, but your mind wandered to Sam more often than you liked. It wasn’t until Allen called you, his voice heavy with exhaustion, that you were pulled out of your thoughts. He’d been cleared of any involvement in Brenda’s murder but had nowhere to go.

Hesitantly, you agreed to let him stay. Brenda had been your best friend—your sister—and Allen had been like a brother to you. But bringing him into your home felt like rubbing salt into the open wounds. Still, you couldn’t say no.

When Allen arrived, he looked thinner, his face drawn with grief. You offered him a quiet hug, and he accepted it, his arms lingering as if he needed the connection. You spent the first evening in near silence, both of you dancing around the unspoken questions and missing presence of your loved ones.

It wasn’t until the second night that Allen stumbled upon the letter. You had left it out on the kitchen counter without thinking. You walked in from the living room to find him standing there, the letter open in his hands, his expression unreadable.

“You still love him,” Allen said, his voice cold but steady.

You crossed your arms, feeling defensive but also ashamed. “Yes.” You couldn’t lie to him. He was so broken - so defeated already. It would be insulting.

Allen set the letter down, exhaling sharply. “I always thought you and Sam had something special. I didn’t understand it back then, but I do now.”

His words caught you off guard, and you blinked, unsure of how to respond.

“I’m not mad,” he said finally, though his tone was heavy. “I just… I worry about you. Sam’s been through hell, and he’s made a mess of things, but if you’re willing to give him a chance, I’ll support you. He’s my brother, and I know he cares about you more than anyone.”

You swallowed hard, feeling your throat tightening. “I don’t even know if I’m ready to give him a chance. I just…” You hesitated, voice trembling. “I don’t want to get hurt again.”

Allen nodded, his expression softening. “Just take it one day at a time.”

As he left the kitchen, you picked up the letter again, running your fingers over the creased paper. The words felt heavier now, more real. You weren’t sure if you could trust Sam, but you couldn’t deny the small flicker of hope burning deep in your chest.

As for Allen’s words—they solidified what you’d hoped he already knew deep down. That Sam was simply lost, a pawn in their older brother’s horrible games. He’d never meant to ruin or take lives. You only hoped that when, and if the time came, he could forgive him the way you knew Brenda would.

[wow-thisismylifeiguess]

So so, amnesiac Soap who doesn’t remember a large chunk of his childhood. Maybe even up to his early teens. Doesn’t remember that he met Ghost when they were kids and that it was the best summer of his entire life.

As adults, Soap meets Ghost for the first time…as far as he knows. Ghost, of course, recognizes Soap immediately. He replays those memories of the cute little Scottish boy he’d met during the few occasions he allows himself to reminisce.

When Soap acts like he doesn’t know Ghost at all, it hurts just a little bit, but it’s been years, right? Maybe that summer wasn’t as memorable for Soap as it was for Ghost. That’s fine. Really. It’s /fine/.

Ghost tries to keep his distance the way he does with everyone he’s ever met but Soap worms his way in despite Ghost’s best efforts. It’s almost exactly the same as when they were younger, the way a young Johnny had seen a young Simon sitting alone in the park with bruises on his arms and instead of asking about them or poking fun, he simply tugged on Simon’s wrist gently and asked him to play.

Soap likes Ghost immediately. He’s an odd guy, definitely, and the way he stares is heavy on Soap’s skin, but there’s this itch in the back of his head that makes him feel like he’s known Ghost for a lot longer than he has. It’s not an unfamiliar feeling, there’s been odd moments of deja vu ever since the incident that caused his memory loss, so he doesn’t think about it too deeply, just prefers to live in the moment and appreciate the relationship he has with Ghost.

Finally, while taking a break after returning from an assignment that took several months, they’re outside smoking together, trading w cigarette back and forth. Soap asks about Ghost’s childhood and it makes the bigger man freeze.

“Ah, sorry sorry. I know that’s a tough question. Shouldn’t have asked.” Soap backtracks, and Ghost is quite for a while. There’s slight tension between them but nothing to make either of them leave. Ghost breathes out a thick cloud of smoke.

“Not great. Abusive dad, a mom who couldn’t do anything to protect herself, and a younger brother who would do anything to not be the target so he shoved the attention onto me instead.”

It’s Soap’s turn to be quiet and Ghost doesn’t blame him. It’s probably not the answer he thought he’d get.

“I’m sorry, Si.”

Ghost shrugs. “It’s fine. They’re all dead now.” He blows out another lungful of smoke and turns to look at Soap. “What about you?”

Soap gives him a wry smile. “Wish I knew.”

Ghost’s eyes go wide. “What?”

Soap shrugs before turning to look up at the sky rather than meet Ghost’s eyes. “Was involved in a real bad accident in my teen years. Anything about my life just,” he waves his free hand in the air, “vanished into nothing. Forgot everything and not a single thing’s come back to me ever since.”

“Johnny…” Ghost chokes out. It makes sense, suddenly. Why Soap never joins in when the team gets into one of their reminiscing moods, why he always asks questions instead of sharing his own stories even when given any other opportunity to talk their ears off, he takes it without hesitation. It also makes sense why when he saw Ghost, he’d looked at him like he was a stranger. Ghost feels something heavy in his gut.

“Oh, don’t look at me like that. We’ve both had a rough time, LT. Just happy we’re both here in the present, yeah?” Ghost nods because he can’t do or say anything else. When Soap smiles, it’s genuine and warm. The sergeant pats him on his shoulder. “Glad you agree.”

[negasonicimagines]

Afraid / Part 4: An Unforeseen Conversation

Wade goes behind your back, leading to unanticipated consequences.

When Wade calls Cheryl back, she picks up on the first ring.

“Is it you?” she asks.

“I remembered you being polite. Don’t tell me you forgot your manners!”

Cheryl squeals and giggles nervously.

“No, no, um…” she trails off. “Hi, Wade. How have you been?”

“Oh, uh… Great! Not really, but I’m on track for it now. You said you had something to tell me?”

“Right, um… Well, there’s no easy way to say this: we have a daughter.”

“Oh! Um… Okay?” He’s guessing this is what you decided he wasn’t ready to hear. You were right, but would he have ever been ready? He’s not happy with you for not telling him… But he doesn’t hate you. “Is she with you? Can I talk to her?” 

“I found out right after you left, and I knew you would do the right thing by me, but you had just gotten away, so I just… I gave her up. For adoption.”

“Oh.” Wade’s heart pounds in his chest. There’s no way. There’s no fucking way. 

“But I know her name, and I know where you might be able to find her. She’s- She’s a mutant, Wade, a powerful one. I don’t know where you stand on that, but if you’re on the wrong side you need to get on the right one, I mean it. She’s been through enough with her adoptive parents, they even tried to sue the agency.”

No, no, no. 

“Her name is Y/N Levi. She’s in America, at Xavier’s School for Gifted Youngsters.”

Wade hangs up, throwing his phone aside before running back to your room.

You’re not there. Goddamn it! He sprints to Office D, memories replaying in his head with every step:

“Did you ever play piano?…Not a lot of people here do, so it would’ve been cool if we had that in common.”

Your smile. 

“And you weren’t there. You should’ve been there, but you weren’t.”

Your laugh.

“No, he has to ask. And by the time he asks, he’ll already hate me.”

Your tears. 

“And then you rejected us. Rejected me, not that you knew I existed…Pathetic, isn’t it?”

That knowing look in your eye that made him feel safe instead of patronized. 

“I’ll tell you now, you’re going to hate me once you know. And I like having you as a friend.”

Everything. Everything. 

He’s so angry, but not sure who he’s angry with. You? How could you possibly have told him after all that you’d been through, especially if you know the reason your mother hid you from him? Cheryl? She had no way of getting in touch with him. Himself? How could he have possibly known? He and Cheryl always used condoms! 

Maybe it’s not anger, then, but he feels like he’s on fire. 

He finds himself at the office door, scared to open it. Is this how you felt upon first meeting him? 

It occurs to him that he doesn’t have to confront you just yet. Is he capable of pretending things are the same, though? 

Fuck no. But he can try, maybe? Wouldn’t that be better? Revealing he knew the whole time to prove that you’re wrong, that he isn’t going to hate you? 

He opens the door, finding you in your typical perch at the computer.

“Oh, hey. You couldn’t get back to sleep, either? Sorry you heard me. I’m not sure why you’re immune to my powers.”

“Cut the shit, you know exactly why,” he blurts, covering his mouth. So much for trying. 

You stop, looking at him with an eerie coldness in your gaze. He’s not sure what else he expected, but this still perplexes him. You look at him like he’s a stranger. You stare at him in silence. 

“It doesn’t have to be complicated, y’know. I’m- I’m not asking to make you waffles and read you bedtime stories or anything else to make up for the past. We can just start from here, can’t we? I don’t hate you. From what you’ve told me, I get why you’d think that. You come by the whole self-hatred thing honestly. But I like being your friend. I’ve really fucking enjoyed getting to know you! I think you’re, like, super cool! This whole thing we’ve had going for the past couple of weeks, it’s- It’s the first time in a long time that I’ve felt like I’ve been doing what I’m supposed to.”

“What will Vanessa think?” you ask. “Y’know, she’s met me before. I didn’t erase her memory, either. I just didn’t tell her who I was. So, she’ll know I lied by omission. She already won’t like me. I know how important she is to you.”

“She’s not like that, and if she is… Then I don’t need her anymore. It’s that simple.”

“It’s never that simple.”

“And how do you know?”

You don’t respond, a tear rolling down your cheek. 

“Everything. You promised. You can’t take that back, now more than ever.”

“My- My dad didn’t like me. My mom was the one who really wanted me. He was never mean, never cruel. He took care of me, y’know, made sure I had food and clothes and stuff, we even went on family trips, stuff like that… But he didn’t like me. He didn’t like me, but he was still kind about it.  And my mom was in denial, she still held out hope, but when… When it all came out, when we discovered what I was…”

“Sweetheart-”

“Don’t call me that!” you shriek, and a painting throws itself off the wall. You catch your breath, and Wade watches as it floats back up, settling back on the nail more evenly hung than it was before. “I’m sorry, that was… That’s what my mom always called me. She said I had… The sweetest heart. But I guess that wasn’t enough for her to realize that I wasn’t- I wasn’t a threat, or a demon, or- Or evil. I guess in the end, I am. Evil, I mean. What kind of person lies the way I do?”

“The kind of person who’s trying to protect others by pushing them away,” he argues. 

You’re still sitting there, your face now buried in your hands. 

You looked everywhere for him, put yourself in harm’s way just for answers. And Teddy, oh, God, it must’ve been like losing a brother. And the original Logan being MIA? Having to erase Ellie’s memories? He has no idea what the timeline was for all that, but he gets the feeling you dealt with it all alone. 

You never should’ve been alone. 

“…But you can’t hurt me. We’ve already established that.”

“Sure, I can,” you say, looking up suddenly. Your tears have ceased. 

Shit.

“That’s not the solution here. Come on, you know it’s not.”

“Sure it is.”

He’d never noticed how much you look like his father until this moment. 

“Y/N,” he says firmly. 

“You don’t get to talk to me like that.” 

“You don’t get to talk to me like that. You lied to me!”

“I never lied to you,” you disagree calmly. 

“You told me your father died!”

“You’ve died plenty of times.”

“You told me you didn’t know why I was immune to your powers.”

“I don’t. I can still feel Cheryl, when she’s in a room. I can’t control her or read her thoughts, but I can feel her presence, sense her mood, like how normal people can. I can’t feel anything from you. You’re completely silent, like… Like you don’t even exist, but not even that, considering I’ve seen things that don’t exist.”

“I scare you,” he realizes. 

“No, you don’t.”

“Now you’ve lied to me.”

“Doesn’t matter.”

“And again! If it didn’t matter, why hide it?! Why care if I hate you?! Why say or do anything  you’ve said or done these past two weeks?!”

“Think about it!” you snap, and the painting flies off the wall again. 

“This is all because of her. Everything that happened to-” Him. “This is all your fault! It’s all your fault! We were trying to make another you! …You’re a monster. Thank fucking God we didn’t succeed.” 

“You believe her. You believe anyone who’s said that, don’t you?! That it’s your fault?! I signed up for that! They misled me, sure, but I signed up to be there! They recruited me, I didn’t read the fine print, now I’m- I’m someone you can’t feel a connection to... But you do anyways, you fight for it. And I’m supposed to believe you when you say it doesn’t matter?!” 

You don’t say anything. 

“Well?!”

“It’s pathetic, isn’t it? To care so much about someone who barely cares about you? Who barely even knows you?”

“Wait. Are you saying all of this fucking drama and hiding and absolute craziness is because you think it’s cringe to care about your dad? Are you fucking kidding me?!” 

“No,” you mumble. “I mean… Yes, that’s partially true, but… It’s terrifying. It is. I can’t- I mean, I can’t make you see or hear what I want-! What you want-! If I say or do something wrong, I can’t just make you forget or understand or… I have no idea what you really think of me. I’m sure that sounds ridiculous, that’s just how normal people feel, but I’m not normal! I’m not used to that!”

“It’s ridiculous that you think I barely care about you when I just tore ass all over this place looking for you.”

“You what?”

“Well, first of all, you screamed, and I ran right towards you. I won’t count that since I didn’t realize it was you. Then, I went back to my room, called Cheryl back because I couldn’t resist, so then I went back to your room, you weren’t there, so I came here. You think I did that because I barely care about you?!”

“I guess not.”

“I’m serious. Nothing has to change. Though I will be smothering you in hugs and probably won’t have as much availability for this project, considering.” 

“Considering what?”

“I owe you years of birthday and Christmas gifts? Money doesn’t grow on trees, pumpkin doodle!”

“What happened to nothing changing and starting from here?!” you protest.

“Here is a place where I’ve never seen you hit a pinata. That won’t do.”

“Pinatas don’t work for me. Telepath.”

“Then it’ll have to be just us!”

“That’s ridiculous.” you argue, but a smile tugs at the corners of your mouth. 

“But then we get more turns and the candy is only divided among two people. More candy.”

You scoff. 

“I’m not saying we have to do it tomorrow! You should be getting back to bed anyways, it’s late and you have classes tomorrow, I’m sure.”

“Didn’t take you any time at all, did it?” you ask, getting up from behind the desk. You lift the painting with your hands this time, resting it on the nail. 

“Why that painting?” he wonders aloud as you readjust the throw pillows on the loveseat beneath it.

“What?” you ask. 

“Both times, when you got upset and lost control, that painting flew off the walls. No lightbulbs breaking, no wind whipping about, just that painting.”

“Eloise painted it for me. I guess when I get emotional, I… I don’t know. She was the only one who ever fully understood my feelings and looked out for me, so I guess I think of her.”

“I didn’t even know that was her name until you. Do you call her that because it’s less personal, or are you holding on to a time when you were allowed to call her that? ”

“You’re a lot more insightful than people give you credit for.”

“You had to get it from somewhere, didn’t you? Goodnight. I’ll return in…” He pulls up his sleeve, revealing his watch. “5 hours, with donuts.”

“Looking forward to it,” you reply quietly. 

“Don’t forget about your sister’s birthday,” you reminded Eloise as you returned to your shared room. It was the end of summer after senior year. You two were dead set on getting Associate’s degrees in graphic design and apprenticing at the local tattoo parlor before opening a shop of your own. Living at Xavier’s meant working for free wouldn’t be an issue for either of you. Everything had been arranged. 

“It’s not that I’ve forgotten, I just don’t know what to get her,” Eloise grumbled. 

“Why not paint something with your nieces’ and nephews’ birth flowers?” you suggested. Her sister was significantly older than her and already had a whole litter of kids. Sometimes they slipped up and called you their aunt, too. Her sister was less and less inclined to correct them with every incident. 

“You have the best ideas,” Eloise sighed in relief. I love you so much, she thought as she met your eyes, before she looked away, busying herself with straightening up your shared desk. I have to tell her, but how? Does she already know? If she does, she doesn’t feel the same, or she would’ve said something, right? Then again, she’s been through so much, and she hears things… Even if she did happen to hear me, would she believe it? Eloise’s thoughts made your heart ache. 

You were so scared. If she said it out loud, you wouldn’t be able to deny it. It would open up another world of questions, ones you’d been pretending you weren’t already deeply concerned about. Even if it felt real, was it? Or was your love for her so strong that you were subconsciously forcing her to feel the same way?

You put away your bag, thinking of the conversation you’d just had with Miss Frost. She asked you if it even mattered. She called Eloise inferior. Told you that you were young, and if it was fun, you should indulge yourself. You decided then and there you were done taking her advice. People without psychic powers weren’t toys to play with. 

Sure, Eloise couldn’t read your mind and know exactly how you feel, but she could still put you back together again after a nightmare without expecting anything in return. Yesterday afternoon at the park, she retrieved a frisbee for that little kid whose mom committed suicide two months ago and made him realize there are still people who care about him without even knowing about his tragedy. She could explode a wall between prisoners of the villain of the week and freedom. 

She was your hero. She’s a hero to a lot of people. 

It was then that you decided you couldn’t risk it. Even if you could believe that her love for you was entirely her own, the path you were following in search of your father was too dangerous for her to walk alongside you. 

But it was then that she decided to confess to you. 

“Y/N, I… I think you know what I’m about to say. It’s something I’ve been wanting to tell you for a long time. I lo-”

She blinked. 

“Thanks for the gift idea for my sister. Gosh, you really are a mind-reader, huh? Well, I should get packed up. I think my parents are right. I should go into IT. It’d just be a different way of helping people, right?”

“You’re so right,” you agree. “I’m actually thinking about getting a Bachelor’s and coaching swimming here.”

“That’d be cool, I know there’s demand for that. Hey, weren’t you on track for the Olympics, before everything?”

“Wow, you remember that? Yeah. Maybe one of my students could do it. Those who can’t, y’know?”

Eloise chuckled. 

“Totally. Good luck with that. It’s been cool having you as a roommate.”

“You, too,” you agreed, glad she couldn’t see the tears streaming down your face or hear the sobs clawing their way out of your chest. 

[iliveinprocrasti-nationn]

i don’t like. the irrationality created by memories

[seonghwanotes]

drunk words, sober thoughts | choi jongho

pairing: jongho x reader

genre: fluff

word count: 3.3k

a/n: we love me some drunk interactions

Three loud knocks on your door along with the doorbell being rung frantically were enough to get your friend rushing to the door, opening it up to be met with your friend who was struggling to support your weight as she tried to avoid you from falling over.

Jongho didn't hesitate and quickly took you into his arms, his arm slung around your waist as you threw your own around his neck. He raised his eyebrows at the sight and waited for your friend to explain herself. "Well?"

"You were in her emergency contact list… my boyfriend's staying over at mine so there's no place for her to stay at. I hope you don't mind." She explained, making Jongho sigh while you were drifting off to dreamland in his arms.

"Why didn't you send her back to her place? Her roommate isn’t around?”

"She didn’t answer my call. Plus, she kept saying your name all night, I didn't know if you guys talked or what but I had to bring her out before she slaps another guy thinking it was you and yells at their face for.. looking good." You heard your friend say and you giggle, lifting your head to meet the dissatisfied gaze of your crush.

"You're… you have a really good face." You blurted, causing him to look away and sigh. He thanked your friend and closed the door behind him before he put you on his couch.

Your mind was hazy but you were still aware of your surroundings. It had been a while since you went over to Jongho's yet it still felt the same. Nothing has changed and you let out a giggle over the thought.

Jongho walked over to you from the kitchen with a glass of water in his hands. He sat beside you and passed you the glass which you took but you didn't drink. Your eyes were slowly giving up on you but you resisted the sleep that was creeping up on you.

"Why did you drink so much, Y/N?" He asked in a soft voice, eyes fixated on your wimpy figure. While he waited for your answer, he took off your heels which made your feet feel more relaxed and it hurt less.

You shook your head, "I didn't drink a lot. I just had… 5 shots? I don't know," You giggled, drinking the water which you unintentionally spilled on your dress. The cold liquid left a visible stain on your chest area and you sighed at the sight.

Jongho grabbed the glass from your hand and set it on the coffee table. "Y/N… you can't handle more than 1 shot of vodka, why did you go more than that?" He cooed, his hand caressing your head.

"I don't know." You quickly answered, looking at him with half-lidded eyes. "Jongho, can I get changed? This dress feels icky."

He eyed you up and down, gulping when he noticed your attire which was extremely revealing and he raised his voice slightly at you, "When did you even buy this dress?"

You shook your head, "I didn't buy this. That girl lent it to me. I forgot her name but she said this would look good. Does it look good? I can't see but it feels so tight."

At this rate, Jongho knew you were mumbling words for the fact you even forgot your friend's name so he got up, mumbling a few words that you couldn't hear before he helped you get up. You grabbed his hand and followed him to his room as you fell on his soft mattress, your hand naturally reaching for his pillow to hug on.

"Y/N, get up. You need to get changed." Jongho spoke out, his words not being processed in your mind.

"Can't you help me change? I can’t reach the zipper either.” You mumbled, sighing right after as you got up but soon losing your balance as you tripped on Jongho. He quickly caught you, “Y/N… you’re not gonna like this tomorrow.” He muttered, annoyance tracing his words as innocence laced your laughter that came right after.

He couldn’t stay mad at you for too long as well, so he ignored whatever that happened before and helped you out. He took off your dress and helped you to change into his t-shirt, which rested at your thighs making it look like a shirt dress. Taking off the spare hair tie on your wrist, he tied back your hair and brought you to the bathroom.

“Sit on the toilet, don’t fall asleep or I’m gonna leave you here.” He told in a stern voice, which made you nod. Despite his instructions, you couldn’t handle the fatigue creeping up on you. You rubbed your eyes and yawned, “Jongho? Are you there?”

“Wait a second! Don’t move!” He replied, making you nod. He came back with a bag that you couldn’t make out what it was and he knelt next to you. “I don’t know how to do this but I’m just gonna help you out, okay?”

“What are you gonna do?” You mumbled, another yawn leaving your lips.

“Take your makeup off,” He stated, “Also brush your teeth cause you reek of vodka.”

You giggled and let him do the work while you were seated quietly. The wet cotton pad came in contact with your face which made you flinch, causing Jongho to giggle but he quickly hid the sound.

He was quick to clear up your makeup since you didn’t have a heavy one on, so he got up and reached for a new toothbrush to brush your teeth. Out of nowhere, memories of the night suddenly flooded your head and you felt tears threatening to escape your eyes. Sobs left your lips and it caught Jongho’s attention, causing him to scurry over to you.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” He asked, looking at you while you tried to keep your focus on his face but you couldn’t keep your eyes open anymore.

“I like him so much, I wish he knew." You cried, holding his shoulder for balance as you leaned back on the bathroom wall, resting your head there.

“You have to be kidding me.” He muttered under his breath. "I told you he's not good news."

“Why is he not? All he ever does is to worry about me. See, we even fought the other day about Juyeon." You sat straight, explaining yourself to the boy that you couldn't see clearly.

"What? Juyeon?" Jongho asked in surprise, now the boy thinks you have another crush. "Don't you like Juyeon though? Or is there a new guy now that you haven't told me about?"

"What new guy? It's Jongho, it's always been him." You sighed, words left your mouth carelessly whereas Jongho was only taking note of everything so that he could either confront you about it in the morning or keep it a secret until you confessed, with a sober mind, of course.

"Always been him, huh?"

"Yeah, well, I know he hates Juyeon. But he never said it to my face because he knows I would get sad over it, which makes him a really good friend, don't you think?"

Jongho's eyes were fixed on you ranting about him that he didn't bother responding back because you continued talking about him for the next 30 minutes with a mixture of giggles and gasps as you couldn't comprehend how handsome Jongho was but you were too shy to tell him that.

Shaking his head, he eventually pushed the toothbrush inside of your mouth and helped you brush your teeth. It took him a few minutes to make you spit out and wash your mouth as you mistook the minty substance as melted ice cream. You waddled over to his bed and plopped on the soft mattress, a soft hum leaving your lips.

"Wait, I want to tell you more about Jongho, you can never tell him about this though." You mumbled, causing Jongho to chuckle as he tucked you in bed.

"That's alright, we can talk when you're awake tomorrow morning, I'll see if you'll repeat your sober thoughts. Have a good sleep, doll." He addressed you with a nickname which your mind didn't register before you were sent to dreamland.

———

Other than the exposed natural light slapping your skin at seven in the morning, the sharp pain in your head was another bother to you as you winced loudly. You got up and sat straight on the bed, trying to think of what caused your headache until you realised you were not in your bed.

Your eyes widened at the familiar sight of the room and you tried to look around for anyone with you but you were only accompanied by the sunlight peeking through the sheer curtains.

You looked down at yourself to realise you were only clad in an oversized shirt that you knew all too well and simultaneously, you cursed. "Shit."

Memories of the previous night flooded your mind and you couldn't believe yourself for getting yourself in a situation you promised you would never put yourself in. Getting out of bed, you shuffled to the door slowly, looking around to see if anyone was waiting for you but you were met with silence.

Your mind was still hazy from the whole situation and you couldn't help but fall back onto the bed, massaging your temples slightly as the sharp pain started to knock on your head. You heard a door open and you looked up to see Jongho, with a towel wrapped around his waist, torso exposed to you.

"Oh fuck," He cursed, making you turn around quickly where your brain was now replaying the sight of his bare chest. "Sorry, I didn't know you were awake."

"It's okay." You managed to mumble out. The scene replayed all over again in your head, you saw your best friend shirtless for the first time and it didn't make your anxious self calm down any quicker. The tension in the air was so strong that you could cut it with a knife so you let out a dry cough and got up, scurrying over to the other side of the bed since Jongho was just standing at his place quietly.

No one was going to move if neither of you spoke so you asked him the first and the dumbest question you could ever think of. "Did we… last night?"

His eyes grew wide and he furrowed his brows, "Whoa, Y/N, no. Chill, I just changed your clothes and cleaned you up before bed. I slept in the guest room."

"Oh." Red flushed your cheeks from embarrassment and you rubbed your neck slightly before looking around the room for what felt like the millionth time. "What am I doing here, by the way?"

A small scoff left his mouth which took you by surprise, "Sabrina dropped you off, you got drunk last night and she couldn't bring you back home."

You raised a brow at him before muttering to yourself, "Why not send me back home though?"

"What can she do if your definition of home is my place?" He sarcastically replied, walking over to his wardrobe as he went through his shirts. His answer made you stop breathing for a second, making you wonder what could have possibly happened last night considering you couldn't remember anything after you drank the wrong glass of alcohol.

Hearing no reply from you, Jongho turned around to see you spacing out while you tried to figure an answer out before your growing headache could have killed you off. "I'll make us breakfast, maybe you could shower first. You know where the clothes are at." He said, taking out a shirt on a hanger before he walked out of the room.

Did he forget about your argument and forgive you? Was he going to bring it up during breakfast later? You had zero idea but you wanted to get out of his house as soon as possible and meet Sabrina.

———

You spent a good hour in the shower where you washed your hair with his shampoo that he never bothered sharing with you whenever you slept over at his and you also did your makeup with the products that you left at his place, which you were surprised that he kept.

After you threw on a basic tee along with your shorts, you went to the kitchen where you were met with Jongho using his phone as he waited for you. The strong scent caused him to look up and he let out a sigh when he saw your wet hair, "I told you to not use my shampoo!"

"I don't see your name written on it and I needed a wash." You casually explained before taking a seat across him.

He pushed a small bowl of soup towards you, "Drink up, it's hangover soup."

You didn't need the soup anymore but you didn't want to hurt his feelings more so you drank the soup quietly as he watched you, thinking of what to say.

Once in a while, you kept looking up at him and his eyes never left yours which made you set your spoon down and question him, "Do you have something to ask?"

"No."

"Then, why do you keep looking at me? Is there something on my face?"

"Do you like me, Y/N?"

"What?" Your question came out a little louder than supposed that it took Jongho by surprise and he snickered at your reaction.

"You didn't have to react like Cheon Seojin, I just asked you if you have a crush on me." He told again, with a relaxed demeanor.

You were in disbelief, what was he talking about? Did Sabrina tell him anything? Did you spill anything to him? What if you said yes? Would he tease you because he doesn't like you back? What if you said no? Would you lose a chance with him? Plenty of responses raced in your mind and you had no clue on which to say.

He sighed, "So how's Juyeon?"

You furrowed your brows, "You never ask about him. What's the matter? Did he talk to you?"

"No, I'm just curious. Your soup is getting colder." He reminded you, making you drink your soup again.

"He's alright I guess? Ever since we broke up, he's been great. He got assurance when he found out that we fought so he got together with another girl right away. It makes him happy to see me in despair." You told him everything like you always would have gone if you guys were okay. Jongho was never wrong about the people you chose to hang out with, sometimes the fact that you were in denial because you didn't want to lose to your best friend whom you loved a little too much made you attempt daring things which only brought you back to square one.

"Oh, he's the same basically." He confirmed, nodding his head as you scoffed at his answer. Classic Choi Jongho, hates Juyeon but has never made it clear.

"Do you remember anything from last night?" He asked, making your anxiety level rise again. You finished up your soup, pushing the bowl away from you in a soft motion and looked at him.

"I thought you said we did nothing."

"I cleaned you up and changed your clothes, a lot could have happened."

You gasped, "You saw me naked?"

"Goddamn, Y/N, get a grip. You wore a dress that literally showed so much of skin and me seeing you naked is your concern right now?" Jongho questioned you back, making your mind think about the dress you wore last night. He wasn't wrong, you wore something that was practically protecting your assets and revealing the rest.

"Well then, I don't remember anything. But thank you for the stay and the soup. I'll get going now." You told him, grabbing the bowl and got up. Before you could go to the sink, he grabbed your wrist, making you look at him.

"So you don't remember confessing?"

Your heart dropped. There's no way you could have told him, not when you were drunk and at your lowest. You must have been crazy to have done that. How could you have been crying over him the entire night only to tell him that you were so in love with him?

Your deafening silence was a clear answer to him which brought a smile to his face as he stood up and blocked your way. "You do like me."

"I don't." You were quick to deny but your eyes lied, which he knew very well.

He didn't hesitate making moves with you as he grabbed your chin softly and brought his face closer to yours. "You know that I would have treated you better than Juyeon, so why would you still deny?"

Your breath hitched in your throat as you listened to his words, you couldn't come up with a response cause you knew that he finally figured out what you were trying to do and there was no way out of it.

"You're so quiet when I'm speaking the truth. It would be great if you'd listen all the time, am I right?" He chuckled at your face, causing you to laugh nervously. He let go of your chin as your stiff body relaxed for a second up until he held your hands again and your hold on the bowl tightened.

"I like you too, Y/N. It took me a while but I'm sick of seeing you go back to that jerk who only uses you for what he wants and he doesn't even know your worth. So, if you don't mind, we could go on a date and think about what we could do next." Jongho confessed casually, causing you to drop the bowl, which fell on his foot and to your relief, the bowl was not made out of ceramic so it was still intact.

However, Jongho was wincing in pain.

You gasped at the incident and crouched to hold his feet, "Oh my God, wait, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to drop the bowl. Wait, does it hurt? But you're strong. Okay, maybe not. Foot injuries hurt like hell. Let's just stay at home, I'll put ice on your feet."

You stood up and helped Jongho go to the living room before he plopped on the couch. "I guess a stay at home date isn't so bad. My girlfriend puts ice on my feet. It could be a new thing." He joked, making you slap his feet hard which made him wince harder.

"I'm not your girlfriend yet! Keep dreaming, loser." You told him, rolling your eyes before you went back to the kitchen and cleared the small mess before you got an ice pack out.

"Yet, well, it could change in an hour or so. Would we kiss? Would I break your neck as we make out? Would more things in this house break? You'll never know!" He yelled out, making you scoff.

"Yeah, right. You're just gonna tease me till the end for that drunk confession. I never wanted to sate your ugly ass anyway," You muttered, sitting next to him and pressing ice on the forming bruise.

"I recorded you calling me a cute, squishy, boba ball last night. Oh, wait, let me play that." He said, taking out his phone which made you press the ice pack harder on his feet, causing him to yell.

"Yeah, I always wanted to date you, who was I joking with?" You answered back, making faces at him as he laughed at you.

"Well, at least I can finally say that's my girl instead of that's my best friend." He told with pride which made you fake cringe but on the inside, you were cheering yourself on with pompoms. Drunk words, sober thoughts are not so bad at times.

[wellsayhelloaagin]

Dirty little secret part 2 but bring Nat in 🤧🤧

Here you go anon, just what you asked for.

Part Two with some Nat thrown in.

Read Part One here.

Dirty Little Secret, Part Two

~1.4k words

(mentions of terminal illness)

You look at your reflection in the mirror, smoothing down the front of your dress and adjusting the straps to make sure they were sitting right.

You could feel the butterflies settling in your stomach, the nerves almost overwhelming you. If you had eaten anything today, you would surely be bringing it up by now. You close your eyes and take a deep breath to try and steady yourself, releasing it slowly as your hands tremble.

“Oh, will you relax already?” you hear from behind you and you open your eyes to see Natasha looking at you in the mirror, a soft smile on her face.

She wraps her arms around you from behind and hooks her head over your shoulder. You relax a little in her embrace, but the nerves still rattle through you.

“You look beautiful,” she continues, kissing you on the cheek. “They’re going to be so jealous of you.”

You roll your eyes at her, pulling her arms loose and spinning around to face her.

“You don’t know these people, Nat,” you tell her, your voice serious. “They made my life hell over something out of my control.”

She smiles in understanding, wrapping an arm around your shoulder and leading you out of the bathroom.

“Well, your life isn’t hell now,” she tries to reason with you. “You have a great job, your own house, a tonne of amazing friends and a smoking hot wife.”

You laugh at her as she throws you a wink, dropping her arm from your shoulder and walking over to lie dramatically across the bed.

“What’s this about a hot wife?” Wanda asks as she walks into the bedroom, smiling widely as her eyes meet yours.

She looks incredible in her dress, the material clinging to her in all the right places and you find yourself falling in love with her all over again.

“Nothing,” Natasha replies, faking innocence. “Just giving this one a pep talk about tonight.” She jerks her thumb at you, rolling over to get more comfortable on the bed.

“Are you still nervous, detka?” Wanda asks, looking at you with a frown.

You shrug in response, tugging your bottom lip between your teeth and chewing on it anxiously.

“I’ll be right by your side the whole night, I promise. I won’t let them touch you, not this time” Wanda tells you earnestly, pulling your lip free and pressing her own lips to yours.

You sigh into the kiss, wrapping your arms around her neck, hoping to forget about the upcoming night for just a few seconds. You’re just starting to lose yourself in the kiss when you hear a retching sound nearby, and the two of you pull back to watch Natasha pretend to dry heave.

“Jeez, you two do know you have an audience right?” she asks, feigning disgust.

You laugh at her theatrics while Wanda just scowls at her.

“Last time I checked, this was my bedroom,” she huffs out, resting her hands on your waist. “Can’t you go annoy my brother for a while?”

Natasha rolls her eyes, rising from the bed and walking toward the door.

“That poor bastard has a whole lifetime of me annoying him to look forward to,” she calls out over her shoulder. “But I guess I can start a little early.”

She closes the door behind her and Wanda grumbles under her breath about painful sister-in-laws’ while you just chuckle. Truthfully, you knew Wanda loved Natasha and she couldn’t wait until she and Pietro got married in a month. You were happy that Wanda would have someone like Natasha around.

You were all back in your old hometown for the weekend, staying at the Maximoff household together. Tonight was the night of your ten year high school reunion, and to say you were nervous about facing your former classmates was an understatement.

You had barely hung on until graduation and the second you left for college you had never looked back. College was a whole other world, one where Wanda was happy to be by your side. You still face the occasional backlash for your relationship with her, but both your families had welcomed the news of the two of you being together.

Your relationship only became stronger out of the shadows and ten years on you couldn’t imagine your life without her. The day you had stood in front of all your friends and family and shared your vows with Wanda was the happiest you had ever been. It was a memory that would stay with you until the day you died.

Wanda is still scowling at the door that Natasha had walked through, so you turn her chin with your finger and bring your lips back together. You can feel her smile into the kiss, her hands tightening on your hips. You want to drown in this moment, her lips making you feel heady.

Your eyes are closed and you start to feel a little lightheaded, swaying sightly on your feet. Wanda stops the kiss, pulling back to study you with worried eyes.

“Are you okay?” she asks, her tone apprehensive.

“Yea, just got a little dizzy for a second,” you reply, trying to lean back in but she takes a step back.

Wanda grabs your hands, leading you over to sit on the edge of the bed. She crouches in front of you, cupping your cheeks softly in her hands, studying your face intently.

“You look pale,” she tells you with a frown.

You bat her hands away, crossing your arms over your chest like a petulant child and looking at the floor.

“I’m fine,” you pout, “I just forgot to eat today that’s all.”

You hear her sharp intake of breath and you don’t have to look at her face to know the concern that would written across her features.

“You have to look after yourself, detka,” she whispers, her hands resting on your knees as she tries to get you to look at her. “You know what the doctor said.”

The doctor had said a lot of things.

You had gone in for a simple check up but a few tests later and you were sitting in front of the doctor, your hand gripped firmly in Wanda’s as they rattled off a diagnosis. Most of the words went straight over your head, too technical for you to wrap your mind around. One however had stuck, replaying over and over in your mind as Wanda’s grip started to turn painful.

Terminal.

“I know,” you sigh, meeting her eyes. You see the tears she’s trying to blink back and you feel guilty for making her worry about you. “I was just nervous about tonight, I promise to have something before we go.”

“We don’t have to go,” Wanda offers with a shrug of her shoulders.

“But you wanted to go spend time with your old friends,” you reply, frowning at her.

“I’d rather spend time with you,” she counters, her hands cupping your cheeks again as she brings you into a gentle kiss.

The rest of her sentence is left unspoken, but you know what she’s thinking.

She would rather spend her time with you because there was so little time left you had to offer her. There would be time to catch up with old friends after you were gone; after you had left her alone to pick up the pieces and move on to a life without you.

So you don’t argue when she tells her brother that the two of you decided to stay home that night. Pietro doesn’t try and convince the two of you to change your mind either. You see the realisation in his eyes, the way he hugs you just a little tighter before he and Natasha leave for the old school gym.

Wanda leads you back up to her room and the two of you undress each other slowly before sliding under the covers. She brings you into her arms, holding you against her chest. You pretend not to feel her tears hitting the top of your head and just try to soak in the moment. You don’t know how many more nights you’ll get to be with her like this.

The doctor’s words swirl around your brain as you listen to Wanda’s steady heartbeat under your ear.

Two more months.

[georgiadixon]

Hi, I just binge read your writing and it's so cute I just can't get this idea of out my head but what if the reader (any pronouns) starts carrying around a notebook to jot down things they find interesting when Spencer goes on his rambles. And no one really notices what they're noting down until Spencer finds the book on the plane because they forgot it

remember

pairing: spencer reid x reader

genre/warnings: fluff fluff fluff! spencer feeling insecure

a/n (to anon): hi, ty!! oh i just love when spencer’s partner appreciates & encourages his rambles because he doesn’t really get that with the team. our boy deserves passion! i’m going to turn this into a little something if that’s ok! :)

spencer reid, to everyone who knows him, is complicated. he doesn’t disagree, but he’s sometimes confused as to why the people closest to him don’t see right through him. they may not think about it often, but the side glances and the subtle comments are telling. he loves his friends, he values them but he’s been through a lot. years worth of trauma manifesting in anger and anxiety and his friends chalk it up to complicated.

he doesn’t think anyone truly understands him.

he doesn’t think anyone has ever tried to.

but while he sits and wonders about just how alone he might be, you’re sitting and wondering what you did to deserve him in your life.

because to you, spencer reid is the most beautifully complicated man you have ever known.

you never knew watching someone stir their coffee (with an insane amount of sugar) in a mug with a label reading their name could be so intriguing.

or that the squeaky sound of converse on the sixth level floor could make you feel so safe.

it’s like every little thing that doesn’t mean anything means everything because it’s him.

you’re fairly certain he doesn’t know this, but when his voice picks up from his information bursts, when he starts speaking faster and his eyes light up with something you can only describe as passion you can’t help but feel like it’s your favorite thing in the world. like you’d sit there and listen to him intently for the rest of your life if that’s what would make him happy.

you can’t deny the inevitable crush for him that snuck up on you until it slammed into you full force. now you’re not sure if anyone else could ever make you feel the way he does.

the smiles for no reason, the soft and comforting touches somehow exactly when you need them, the thoughtfulness and the all around pleasantness of his company is something you wouldn’t trade for the world, and something you don’t think you’ll ever be able to give enough of back.

that might be the reason why you’re huddled in the corner of the jet, pen and notebook in hand with “things spencer told me that i want to remember” written at the top of the open page. and it might be the reason why “and things i can learn about to impress him” is written underneath it. it might be why you’re staring at him with a look of pure adoration in your eyes as he talks to your friends and tells them all about something new.

but the week full of nonstop work with no sleep could also be the reason for the last one, as well as your near delirious state as you feel yourself drifting off.

your eyes close just as spencer glances at you, a smile appearing on his face with how peaceful you look. he stands and walks towards you with the blanket that was in his lap to give to you. as he’s covering you with his blanket he can’t help but think about how right it would feel to do this every day. to have you with him every day.

he’s looking at you and he remembers how lucky he is to have you in his life. he doesn’t think you’ll ever know just how much a smile from you means on a bad day. or how much he appreciates you asking if he wants to talk, even though he never does. he knows you’re probably just being nice, but something in him really hopes you feel something a little more. his heart stars to swell at the thought but he remembers why he doesn’t let himself think like this, because it would be damning himself to hope that you would ever look twice at him.

a voice in the background tells him they’re landing soon, so he takes his seat and wonders what you’re dreaming about, selfishly wishing it’s him.

by the time you open your eyes you’re back in virginia, having slept through the rest of the flight. you rub your eyes and yawn, ready to go home and get a real night’s sleep for the first time in a week. you stand and grab your go bag to leave the jet, forgetting your notebook and pen in the seat.

from not paying attention and your sight still a little blurry from sleep you bump into someone, big hands grabbing your shoulders so you don’t fall.

you look up and it’s spencer, still trying to gracefully regain his balance and not succeeding.

when he gets control of his feet he pushes his hair back and smiles. that smile. the one that makes everything better and felt so real in a distant dream.

“did you get some good sleep?”

he asks you, putting the book he was reading away and his satchel over his shoulder.

“not good enough.” you say with a rough voice as you’re still half asleep.

he giggles a bit in the way that he does, the way that you’ve committed to memory to replay when you’re missing him.

you wish you could stay here with him forever, but you know you need to rest and you’ll see him soon.

“night, spence.” you smile softly at him as you head out the door.

“goodnight, y/n.” he responds with his little wave and something bright in his eyes you probably won’t remember tomorrow.

he moves to follow you out the jet when he notices something you left behind. he turns to see if you’re still there, but when he knows he’s the only one left on the jet he goes to retrieve it for you.

he picks up the notebook and begins to put it away, but your handwriting on the top of the open page catches his eye.

“things spencer told me that i want to remember”

he’s not sure if he’s reading it right, if he actually sees his name on the page. if the one he would move the moon and stars for really cares enough about him to not only listen to him but care about what he’s saying. he wasn’t sure anyone did.

“and things i can learn about to impress him”

oh, that does him in. he feels tears behind his eyes but they’re pushed back at thoughts of you thinking you would ever have to do anything but be yourself for him to love you. to want you. to need you.

he knows he wants to ask you about it, but he doesn’t think he should.

he figures some things are better left unsaid.

still, he begins to think of all the things he’s ever wanted to say to you.

he walks off and smiles to himself.

thanks for reading! feel free to send me asks!!

[massivedrickhead]

I’m a glutton for punishment, could you pretty please do a follow up to the ‘you don’t know who I am’ bechloe week prompt? 😭

Sometimes I wonder if you lot are okay and then I remember I’m the one writing it…

Part 1

Read on AO3

“Mom, are you listening?” Blake asked, shooting a concerned glance at her sister. “Do you understand what I’ve just said?”

Chloe just hummed, absentmindedly twisting the wedding band on her finger, as she looked out the window from her room.

She liked this spot by the window because it meant she could see Beca arriving, and she would be here any minute.

“Mom?” Riley tried this time.

Chloe turned to look at them. “Yes?”

“Did… did you hear what Blake just said?” Riley’s eyes were red from crying. It felt like all she’d done was cry the past few days. “About… about Mom?”

Chloe’s breath quickened for a moment, as she replayed the news the girls had just given her, trying to make sense of it.

“You shouldn’t say things like that,” Chloe said, turning back to the window.

“I’m not lying,” Blake said, her voice breaking slightly. “Mom… Mom died. The doctor said she was sick, but she didn’t tell us.”

“He said it was peaceful,” Riley said, sniffing. “She died in her sleep.”

“Of course she didn’t,” Chloe said, her eyes still fixed on the drive of the nursing home.

“I found her,” Riley said before she dissolved into tears again. “Blake, I can’t.” She left the room.

With a sigh, Blake approached Chloe, and took both her hands in hers. “Mom, can you look at me?”

Chloe did, surprised to see tears in her eldest daughter’s eyes.

“I know this is hard for you to understand,” Blake said. “I know this isn’t your fault. But I need you to really try and hear me, okay? Mom - Beca - she died. A couple of days ago now. We keep trying to explain it to you, but you aren’t… it isn’t taking hold.”

Chloe swallowed, tears filling her eyes.

“I don’t understand,” she said, softly.

“I know, Mom,” Blake said, swallowing the lump in her throat, forcing herself to keep it together.

“You look a lot like my daughter, you know?” Chloe said, her voice shifting from heartbreak to curiosity in seconds.

Blake closed her eyes and tears slipped down her cheeks. She wanted to scream at her Mom that she was her daughter, but she knew it wouldn’t do any good.

“Wait till my wife gets here, you’ll see. She’ll tell you just how much you look like her,” Chloe said, brightly, her attention returning to the window.

“Okay,” Blake said. “I should probably go, I need to get home to the kids.”

“No,” Chloe said, “wait a few more minutes? Beca will be here soon.”

“Why didn’t you remember her when she was alive?” Came Riley’s voice from the doorway. “She might have… she would have fought if she still had you.”

“Riley,” Blake said, softly. “Come on, this won’t help.”

“You were her entire world,” Riley said, tears coming quickly, “but it seemed like you remembered pretty much everyone but her. Do you know what that did to her?”

“Riley,” Blake said, again. “Stop it.”

“Who are you?” Chloe asked, feeling attacked.

“Who are you?!” Riley snapped. “You’re supposed to be my Mom but-”

“Enough,” Blake said, cutting her off. “Go and wait for me in the lobby. This isn’t helping.”

With a noise of frustration, Riley left the room.

Blake turned back to face Chloe.

“She’s upset with me?” Chloe asked, looking almost childlike.

“No, Mom,” Blake said. “Not really. She’s just… she misses Mom. And she misses you.”

Chloe nodded, and looked down at her wedding band. “I don’t know what’s happening to me. I’m… I’m scared.” She looked back at Blake. “I know I’m supposed to know who you are, but you keep… flickering.”

“Who do you think I am?” Blake asked, her voice nothing but patient and kind.

Chloe lifted her hand to Blake’s dark brown hair, and gently touched it.

“You look like…” Chloe’s eyes searched Blake’s. She studied the shape of her nose and the colour of her eyes. She knew she was someone. “I think you’re someone very special to me.”

“Yeah,” Blake sniffed. “I think I am.” Chloe smiled, and Blake kissed her Mom on the cheek. “I’ll see you soon, okay?”

“Okay,” Chloe said, turning to face the window again.

She wasn’t sure who she was waiting for anymore, but she carried on waiting.

Outside Riley was being consoled by one of the nurses. When she saw Blake approaching she looked guilty, and suddenly she was a little kid again.

“Ri, we can’t talk to her like that,” Blake said, softly, taking a seat beside her. “You know that. It isn’t her fault.”

“I know,” Riley said, sniffing. “I just… I want Mom.”

“Come here,” Blake said, putting an arm around her shoulders. “I wish she was here too.”

“I thought we had time with her, you know? I wish she’d told us. I wish we could have been able to prepare,” Riley said, wiping her eyes on her sleeve. “Finding her like that…” Riley dissolved into tears again.

“Shh, it’s okay,” Blake said, tears stinging her own eyes.

“Do you think she understands?” Riley asked after a few moments of silence.

“No,” Blake said. “She’s getting worse by the day. It’s probably kinder if we don’t tell her again.”

After that day, Chloe didn’t remember her daughters again. Beca would float into her mind occasionally, but never for very long.

Blake visited every other day, because she knew that’s what Beca would have wanted her to do, but Riley found it too hard. In her mind, she had lost both of her parents.

Blake would sit and listen to Chloe tell stories about her childhood, until her early memories started to slip from her too.

Her speech was beginning to fail, and her balance was poor too.

Blake knew it was a matter of months, not years, that she had left with her Mom.

“Do you want to see a picture of Davey?” Blake asked on her last visit. “It was his birthday last week.” It had been six months since they lost Beca, and Davey’s birthday felt like the first time she really smiled in a long time.

“Who?” Chloe asked, her hands fidgeting in her lap.

“My little boy,” Blake said. Your grandson, she almost said. She handed Chloe her phone.

Chloe smiled. “I always wanted kids,” she said.

Blake swallowed hard as she took back her phone.

“What did you say your name was?” Chloe asked.

“Blake,” Blake said.

You used to tuck me in at night and you used to hold me when I cried.

Mom would carry me on her shoulders and taught me how to play piano, and you used to make me chocolate chip pancakes when I was sad.

You would sing to me when I was sick and Mom once had a fight with a guy who took my picture.

“That’s a nice name,” Chloe said, stifling a yawn.

“Thank you,” Blake said. You chose it. “My Mom chose it.”

“Well I suppose it’s time for you to go now,” Chloe said, her social skills not what they were.

“Yeah,” Blake said, wiping the corner of her eye on her sleeve. “I’ll see you in a couple of days.”

“Okay,” Chloe said. “Goodbye, then.”

“Bye.” I love you. I miss you.

Chloe woke up the next morning and for the first time in a very long time, she felt like herself.

The fog that had filled her mind was gone, along with the constant aches and pains that had filled her body.

It was such a relief. Like waking up from a nightmare and realising everything was okay.

Beca was sitting on the end of her bed.

“Hey you,” she said, smiling sadly. She was younger than Chloe thought she should be. Early thirties at the oldest. “I didn’t think I’d see you so soon.”

Something twisted inside of Chloe, and she looked down at her hands. Gone were the wrinkles and age spots. They were young with freshly painted, neatly trimmed nails.

“Oh,” Chloe said, reality hitting her as a cold chill ran down her back.

She turned and saw herself - the old lady she’d become - still lying on the bed. Eyes closed, chest still.

“Come on,” Beca said, holding out a hand. “It’s okay, you don’t need to be afraid.”

“The girls?”

“They… it’s going to be hard for them. But they’ll get through it,” she said.

“I can’t go back? I can’t say anything to them? I… I forgot them, Beca. When… I don’t know when I last told them I loved them,”

“They knew,” Beca said, softly. “We can’t go back.”

“I don’t want to leave them,” Chloe said. She didn’t know if she could cry in whatever form she was in, but she wanted to.

“I know. I didn’t want to either. People rarely do. But we can keep an eye on them and, eventually, they’ll come and join us,” Beca said.

Chloe swallowed and nodded. “I missed you,” she said, “I’m so sorry I forgot you.”

Beca smiled, and tears filled her eyes. “I missed you too.”

She held out her hand again, and Chloe took it. She felt warmth spreading through her.

“How much time do we have?” Chloe asked, smiling as Beca pulled her into a hug.

“We have forever.”

[uswntxfootball]

wonderland (kristie mewis x uswnt!reader)

all the memories and suppressed feelings flood back when she gets called up to the national team again.

word count: 2624 ish

rated D for dumb idiots. also F for flustered reader. and A for a little angsty.

——

it was tuesday morning when you had a near death experience.

jordan thinks that you’re being overdramatic but you don’t listen to her anyways.

on your off day of training the team decided to go out to have a nice breakfast together at a cafe.

there was the usual banter, disgusting couple moments (you constantly made gagging noises at them), and general stupidity.

after a bit the conversation dulled a little, but spiked again when jordan said:

“hey doesn’t the uswnt roster drop today?”

oh crap you forgot about that.

“oh crap yes it does.”

you were pretty sure you were going to make it again.

you’ve been very constant with your playing, scoring goals nationally and at the wsl alike.

still you couldn’t help the nerves that crept their way up your skin, and you handed your phone to jordan to have her read the list .

“read the list of midfielders aloud for me would you?”

the forward accepted it without hesitation, this being a usual exchange between the two of you.

jordan scanned the page a few times before smiling:

“i am proud to present the midfielders for the 2020 netherlands camp-“

“oh stop it just get on with it.”

“well i was before you rudely interrupted me-“

“alright whatever well keep going then.”

“julie ertz.”

“ditto.”

“lindsey horan.”

“also a given.”

“rose lavelle.”

“obviously.”

“catarina macario.”

“i’m not surprised.”

“sam mewis.”

“uh huh”

“and yours truly, y/n y/ln.”

the table cheered a little and you blushed, taking a bite of your avocado toast to hide your smile.

“oh and kristie mewis.”

and then you inhaled sharply, choking on your bite of food.

“who?” you managed to get out through a fit of coughing.

your inquiry was met with an array of exclamations.

“do you not know who kristie mewis is?”

“sam mewis’s sister?”

“won the challenge cup with dash?”

“dated rachel daly?”

“how do you not know who she is?!”

“you’re american for god’s sake!”

you ignored them all and instead said to jordan:

“can you hand me the water?”

jordan furrowed her eyebrows and handed you a glass of water as you coughed away.

you shot her a thankful glance before it was broken again by your nonstop coughing.

daan turned and slapped you a few times on the back which helped slightly.

for the rest of the breakfast jordan noticed you were much quieter, resorting to staring off into space instead of filling the silences with bad jokes.

after breakfast she caught up with you.

“alright spill.”

you shot her a look of confusion.

“spill about what?”

“you and kristie.”

“there’s nothing to spill.”

“that’s a lie and you know that.”

“i- hey would you look at the time i gotta go!”

you glanced at your wrist quickly before running off.

jordan shook her head before yelling out:

“you don’t even have a watch on!”

~~

steph watched the two of you and shook her head.

you and kristie were bickering about something across the field, too caught up in your own world to pay attention to the fact that training had ended.

steph and kristie were both boston college grads, and the two had been close friends before signing together.

kristie had taking a particular liking to you, and within the first week of training you found yourself included in everything the they did.

the three of you played for the boston breakers, sharing an apartment, a car, and consequently all your personal spaces as well.

and so it was only fitting that the three of you bickered.

a lot.

you and kristie more than anyone.

“that is the worst show in existence!”

“no it is not the cinematography is fantastic it’s-“

“no the acting is so bad!”

“no it’s not i-“

“you just have bad show choices.”

you gasped in offense.

“take it back.”

kristie grinned and stuck her tongue out at you.

“never.”

“well then you better run.”

kristie’s eyes widened when you lunged at her.

she took off but you, being faster tackled her to the ground.

your fingers dug into her sides and through a fit of laughter she relented.

“okay okay! i take it back! you have good taste in shows!”

you grinned triumphantly and stopped, your hands on both sides of kristie’s head as you looked down at her.

kristie’s cheeks were flushed and her chest heaved slightly as she looked up at you.

you were briefly aware of the pounding in your ears and butterflies in your stomach.

your eyes locked onto hers and unbeknownst to you you were leaning in but kristie was very, very aware of it, and just as she was about to lean in as well, steph’s yell broke the two of you out of your trance.

“hey training is over idiots!”

you shoot up so fast that your vision goes a little bit black.

you stumble a little bit before finding your balance.

“shut up mccaffrey you almost gave me a heart attack.”

you look down to see kristie still on the ground before you stick a hand out to help her up.

“what were the two of you even fighting about?”

you gave kristie a pointed look before saying:

“this idiot said my show choice was bad.”

steph thought about it for a minute.

“well i mean she isn’t wrong.”

kristie lets out an exclamation after hearing that.

“see?! i told you!”

“hey! you took it back!”

“doesn’t mean it isn’t true!”

“i’m being bullied.”

“oh shut up y/n.”

~~

adjusting your mask and sunglasses, you made your way out of the plane with a few of your teammates.

you had just landed in the netherlands, and coming from england you had a shorter flight compared to most of the team, who would be landing in an hour or so.

you were brimming with excitement at meeting up with your us teammates, as you hadn’t seen them since the beginning of the pandemic.

even then you didn’t get to see them often as you played in the wsl.

you had signed with arsenal in 2017, after the league folded and the boston breakers disbanded, as you were done with the american soccer system.

england had welcomed you with open arms, and you soon made a home there, flying back every so often for national team camps and games.

so when the pandemic hit and a handful of your teammates signed for international clubs, you were ecstatic.

even if they signed for opposing teams.

at least none of them signed for chelsea.

christen gave you a little tap when she saw your suitcases, and you gave her a thankful look before going to grab them.

when everyone was settled, you made your way to the bus and set off on your way to the hotel.

“sam how excited are you that kristie is coming?”

your head snapped up at the mention of the midfielder’s name, an action sam noticed but didn’t comment on.

“i’m so happy! she’s happy too on being called back and can’t wait to see her old teammates again!”

your cheeks flushed a little when sam’s eyes met yours at the end of her statement, and you suddenly found the ground very interesting.

it was a little later when you arrived at the hotel and rose kicked your foot that you looked up.

making your way into the hotel was an interesting experience.

on one hand you were beyond excited that you were back with the national team, yet on the other hand the prospect of seeing kristie made you want to throw up a little bit.

it’s not that you didn’t want to see her.

you were nervous because you liked? like? her.

of course this you realized way after you had left the us.

or rather, just as you were about to leave.

~~

you stood, heart racing as you stood in front of kristie’s door.

your hand hovered above it for a little bit as you tried to swallow and breathe normally.

you had already told steph and the rest of your friends but why was it so much harder to tell kristie?

were you afraid of what she was going to say?

that you were going to leave the country, leave the nwsl, and leave her?

you take a deep breath to calm down and you gave it a little knock.

the door flies open in less than a second.

“y/n! what are you doing here?”

kristie’s cheery demeanor rattled you a little bit.

upon seeing your face she frowned.

“what’s wrong?”

“i-“

your mouth was so dry and it trembled a little.

you could feel your heartbeat in your ears, tears threatening to spill.

kristie’s looking at you with a face full of worry now, and you couldn’t get the words out.

“i-“

you close your mouth again and take a second to look at her.

noting the ways her eyes sparkled and the way her hair was falling out from her bun in little curls over her shoulders.

and then it comes out in a hushed whisper when you least expect it.

“i’m moving to england.”

kristie looks at you too stunned to speak.

she whispers:

“when are you leaving?”

you look down at the ground.

“tomorrow.”

you keep your eyes trained on the ground, too scared to look up at her, knowing that when you look at her the tears you’ve fought so hard to hold back are going to spill.

the silence that falls between you is too heavy. too thick. too constricting.

you find yourself lunging forward towards the midfielder, wrapping her in a hug as the tears spill.

“i’m so sorry i didn’t tell you sooner.”

kristie doesn’t say anything.

she just hugs you harder.

you break away when you have to, but as soon as you turn kristie grabs your wrist.

you turn to ask her what’s wrong but her lips are on yours in an instant.

before you can even process what happened she pulls back.

“you’re going to kill it in england.”

and then she walks into the apartment and shuts the door.

~~

ironically you walk into a door when you see her.

to be fair it wasn’t your fault.

it was hers.

well maybe it was yours.

your head had been all over the place in the past few days, ever since the prospect of seeing her was brought up.

when you had left five years ago, you couldn’t help but replay that kiss over and over in your head.

you couldn’t believe all the signs you had missed.

so yeah.

you were nervous.

and so with music blasting in your headphones, you were prepping for a run, and subsequently not paying any attention to where you were walking and she opens the door right in your face.

you stumble a little bit backwards, before falling down.

you haven’t even looked up, instead sitting on the ground rubbing your forehead and cursing.

it’s when a pair of sneakers appears in front of you that you look up.

and you actually choke on air.

before you stood the woman you had been thinking about, sporting an amused smile and quirked eyebrow.

she says something you don’t hear and it’s only when she leans down and takes your headphones off that you notice them.

your cheeks flush and you mutter an embarrassed “oops” which elicited a chuckle from the midfielder in front of you.

she extends her hand out to you and you take it, sparks shooting up your arm at the contact.

she pulls you into a hug and the two of you quickly fall into conversation.

here up close, you can spot all the changes and similarities of the girl you left 5 years ago.

the five years had been great to her, she was now even more breathtaking than before, no longer the awkward kid but a gorgeous woman.

she almost looks like a completely different person.

almost.

but you notice the same ways her eyes sparkle when she talks, the way the corners of her mouth tug up slowly when she smiles, and the way she tucks loose strands of hair behind her ear and you know this is the same girl you were so smitten with 5 years ago.

“you done checking me out now?”

your gaze snaps back up to her face and blush, a little surprised by her statement.

kristie gives you a teasing smile before saying:

“come on i’m just joking.”

she even has the audacity to wink at you.

and this behavior continues.

for the whole training camp she flirts with you.

you’re a little taken aback by the confidence in the girl.

with the constant winking and flirting and fleeting touches you’re pretty sure she’s trying to kill you.

“y/n. y/n!”

sonnett’s voice snaps your gaze back onto her face.

“sorry what?”

“you were so far into la la land i almost had to get ryan gosling to come get you.”

you shoot her an annoyed look.

“oh shut up no.”

your eyes drift back to the other side of the field, to where kristie was.

sonnett rests her chin on your shoulder and says:

“so who are we checking out today?”

you turn to her and scowl.

“no one.”

“you’re no fun.”

“no.”

“come on you love me.”

“no.”

~~

and of course she scores.

of course.

no matter how hyped the game was.

or how difficult the netherlands defense was.

of course she scores.

she had been on for less than two minutes when she did so too.

you’re so excited you almost trip over your own feet.

she runs to you and you catch her as she jumps, and soon the rest of the team comes to envelop the two of you in a hug.

“i’m so fucking proud of you,” you whisper, and when everyone has relaxed a little, she kisses you.

it’s firmer and more insistent than the one from five years ago.

it’s almost like she knows what she wants and what you want.

you pull away after a few seconds, but only because you have a game to win still.

“come on kris let’s kick some ass.”

you let go of her and the two of you make your way back to your positions.

a few of your arsenal teammate shoot you teasing glances, and you blush when you meet them.

and when the whistle blows thirty minutes later, they make sure to tease you about it after the game.

you see kristie walking towards you and you grin, but before she gets there sam steps in front of you.

you look up at her, and when she doesn’t speak you fill the silence.

“i promise not to hurt her.”

sam quirks an eyebrow and leans in to whisper:

“you better not. or i will tear off your arm and beat you with i-“

“sam!”

kristie gives her sister a little slap in the arm before pulling you away with her.

“hey.”

“um h-hey,” you stammer, rubbing your neck nervously.

“you’re so cute.”

you blush a bit, your heart racing.

kristie catches your hand when it comes down and intertwines her fingers with yours.

“go on a date with me?”

you blush even harder and nod enthusiastically, not trusting your voice at this point.

she gives you a look before leaning in and connecting her lips with yours.

“hey please don’t bang my sister on the field!”

[catzula]

dreams that smell of caramel

Hello, hello. I know I disappeared for a hot minute, i blame depression for everything. i think I’ll be more active from now on, and thank you for reading!

btw, I did take a break form my 400 followers event cuz I burned out really really bad sorry about it

pairing: Bakugou x gn!reader

genre: fluff

warnings: cursing, 3.6k

synopsis: Really, who falls asleep in a subway? Apparently, you do, and Bakugou can’t help but feel protective over it. It’s because he’s training to be a hero, right? It’s not like he likes you, right? Right?!

Bakugou hated the subway. 

There was almost nothing there to like. It was dirty, caused Bakugou to feel like he couldn't breathe, and frankly, ever since the day he read that the air in a subway was %30 pieces of human skin, he didn't want to breathe, either.

The traumatic effect that piece of information had on him was something he never got over. But it wasn't only how dirty the air was, either. It was dusty and dry, and it always caused his eye contacts to dry on his eyes, causing him to see blurry for a while, and there had been many incidents where Bakugou had furiously rubbed his eyes, and made himself blind for a good few minutes.

People there always seemed to be almost as rude and angry as him, most of them thinking they had the right to sit wherever and whenever, and people invading his personal space wasn't something unusual, either. And the smell, oh god, the smell. Some people obviously hadn't discovered what a fucking soap or deodorant was since he could sometimes feel the smell in his brain. 

All this, even though he hadn't even seen the real torture. With the mean, scary look on his face and the way he stood that screamed, stay away from me if you're smart enough, people usually tried to do just that, so Bakugou didn't know what his space being invaded actually could be, or how bad the smell could get.

It was a warm day when he had met you. When he saw you barging in the last second, right before the doors closed behind you, he scoffed, slightly amused. You looked like you were running for your dear life, chest heaving, a thin layer of sweat forming on your temples, clothes disheveled, and hair messy, but you had a proud smile on your lips despite all that.

Crimson eyes followed you as you happily sighed when you noticed the seat across Bakugou was free, dropping yourself on the hard surface. You looked around, realizing there was almost no one around the 10-meter radius of you, the seats were vacant, but people were crowding a bit further down the subway. Your brows furrowed with confusion, and only then did you notice the ash-blonde across you, his gaze piercing through you, the mean scowl on his lips reminding you of a wolf. 

The moment your eyes met, Bakugou had expected you to jump to your feet and run away since he had become well-known after the sports festival and many incidents that had forced him to the tv. And even if someone didn't recognize him, the slightest glare from him was enough to make people run with their tails between their legs, but not this time, apparently, since you dared to cock your head to the side and smile at him.

Smile at him! It was almost an insult! When was the last time anyone actually did that? Especially a stranger? Or maybe you weren't a stranger, was that it? Looking at it now, you did have a familiar face, and it felt like he had seen you quite a few times before. But the more he tried to remember, the more the memory of you went deeper into his brain, causing him to grit his teeth subconsciously and look at you even more intensely. Bakugou wasn't aware he was staring at you like he was trying to see your soul, red gaze never faltering a second away from you.

It was when you tilted your brows slightly upwards, your pretty smile turning into an awkward one, he realized he was staring for the past station. Bakugou's brows snapped together, annoyed at himself, but he was also aware of how his face felt warmer than usual. He gritted his teeth with an angry grunt, looking away from you and fixing his eyes on the stupid advertisement that was right across from him, and he could swear he heard a muffled laugh coming from your way. Bakugou was surprised at how much he wanted to look at you, but his pride wouldn't let him do so, and so he kept staring at the poorly made advertisement brochure. 

Bakugou was a proud, smug man, and he always prided himself on the amount of control he had over himself. But that day, he had let himself down. What was this stupid force that kept making him flick his eyes your way almost every five minutes? It felt like his body was possessed, and it was impossible to suppress his curiosity and not look at you. Bakugou had looked around if there was anyone else looking at you and to try and see if this was a quirk of some sort since it made no sense. 

He grunted in annoyance when he couldn't help himself once again and glance at you, but it wasn't a curt look this time. His eyes narrowed and widened when he took a glimpse of you, of your relaxed body, head falling back and eyes closed. 

"What the hell?" He muttered to himself, leaning forward slightly to try and understand just what the fuck you were- were you sleeping? The realization of how you were, in fact, fucking sleeping had hit him hard, brows shooting upwards, his eyes were wide with confusion and a wave of slight anger. 

Were you dumb? Did you have no rational part in your brain? General knowledge of some sorts? Who in their right mind slept in a fucking subway? Where criminals swarmed, thieves lurking in the corners, waiting for people to slip for a second so they could steal a watch, phone, or a wallet easily, and you were sleeping? 

Bakugou had no idea why he was so fired up about someone he had seen only half an hour ago. He couldn't help but jump in his place, ready to fight, hand itching for a punch whenever someone as much as walked before you, growling and shooting a dirty, scary look when he caught anyone looking your way more than half a second, even the baby that stood in the corner.

He was a hero, after all, right? It was only normal he wanted to protect you, right? Right? God fucking damn it, when were you even going to wake up? He had no idea how you were so relaxed to be able to sleep in a subway, but it caused him more stress than he had felt the past ten years. 

When Bakugou noticed you finally shifting in your place and opening your eyes the second the next station's name was announced, he took a breath of relief. You started to gather your stuff as if you hadn't just woken up from a deep ass slumber, yawning and checking your phone for the time. Bakugou was watching you dazed, shocked at how someone could even do that. If pulling his interest and gaze towards you wasn't your quirk, this had to be it. 

You glanced at him, his gaze meeting yours, and you smile once again, causing his heart to make an odd fucking pause, a snarl appearing on his lips, and he scoffs. But instead of that making you furrow your brows and turn around, you laugh again and turn around. 

~~~

Bakugou had replayed that day over and over again in his head and had arrived at one conclusion. 

You were mad.

You had to be at least a bit mad since it wasn't the most normal thing to smile at strangers as if you knew them for years, especially with a smile as charming as yours, and it was straight-up insane to sleep in a public place, a dangerous place like a subway. 

But whatever conclusion he ended up with, he still couldn't get you out of his mind. It was the stupidest fucking thing ever, made no sense thinking about a stranger you had seen once, but you somehow didn't feel like a stranger. Of course, he didn't feel like he knew you for years, (even though Bakugou thought everyone else but him were just extras, he never forgot a face he saw), but you didn't feel like a threat, either. 

The alerting feeling that formed in his stomach whenever he was around people he didn't know, or sometimes even with the people he did know, wasn't there that time. 

Maybe he was just overthinking. 

Of course, he was over fucking thinking. He had been thinking about a stranger for almost two days straight. (And he hadn't seen you ever since.)

It was such an odd behavior of him that even his friends had noticed something was wrong. Mina had done her best to get a word from him but failed, and Kirishima and Kaminari had declared it their mission to try and cheer Bakugou, and it only meant more for him to deal with.

"Hey, Bakubro, I'm going to the mall today with friends, wanna tag along?" Kaminari asked him the 20th time that day, not even aware it was the worst thing to say if he wanted Bakugou to come. "Look at me you damn Pikachu," Bakugou finally snapped, "If you ask me that one more fucking time, I swear to god-"

"Hey, hey, let's not get violent." Kirishima interrupted before Bakugou finished his threat, thinking it was the best before he spat some illegal shit out. "Then make him fuck off." Bakugou snarled. 

"Yeah, actually, Kami? What are you even trying to do, asking him to come to your date?"

"It's a fucking date?" Bakugou burst, but Kaminari had already sprinted out of the room. "Did he ask me to third fucking wheel? How dense is he?!"

"Calm down, Bakugou." Kirishima sighed. "What's up with you these days, even more irritated than normal?"

"Huh, what the fuck does that even mean?"

"I'm just sayin'." Kirishima shrugged. "You're acting extra grumpy these past few days. You know you can talk to me if you-" 

"Ah, don't start with the cheesy shit, shitty fucking hair. I'm fine." Bakugou cut him off, but his frown was now a bit softer, voice calmer.

"If you say so," Kirishima shrugged. "Hey, by the way, I'm going downstairs to the general studies to change something about my costume, wanna come?"

"General studies? Why the fuck would I go there? You've been visiting that place a lot lately, too." Bakugou asked a little too aggressively, his brows raising when Kirishima grinned. "What, afraid I'll steal your fan?"

"My fan?"

Fan? Bakugou had a fucking fan? Not that he cared, of course, but it still did feel-

Kirishima shrugged with a grin. "You know, the cute student who helped with your gauntlets? Maybe pay a visit to them sometime, they seem to like you a little." Kirishima chuckled when Bakugou kept looking at him blankly. All Bakugou could remember about the person who did his gauntlets was just how pretty their eyes were since he hadn't seen anything but that. He remembered how they always had a flimsy mask on, so it could filter the dust that covered everything in their work station, including the open half of their face.

"I'm not gonna go see an extra just because they like me." He scoffed, but Kirishima could see how Bakugou was dying inside to learn more about this fan of his.

"Sure, whatever you say, bro." He grinned cheekily, gathering his bag and walking downstairs.

~~~

It was the third-day Bakugou had finally stopped thinking about you nonstop, and it felt like freedom. The third time was the charm, wasn't it?

Of course, not. 

You just had to show up the day he was over it, didn't you? You had once again sprinted through the doors just before they closed, heaving in the dirty air, face flushed. You stood up, trying to regain your composure as you smiled proudly at yourself and looking around to find a free seat. 

It didn't take long for you to spot the angry blonde, lips pressed together angrily and vermillion eyes looking directly at you. 

A bright smile appeared on your face just then, and even though you hadn't expected him to do anything, you were surprised when he averted his eyes away from you with a curt nod and a grunt. It had to mean he had acknowledged your smile, right? Well, you hoped it did since you were grinning stupidly at yourself.

You sat on your spot across from him, noticing how people stood even further away from you this time. Glancing at the handsome blonde across you, you tried and couldn't catch his crimson eyes. 

You sighed, frustrated, not aware that Bakugou was even more so. He had promised himself that he wasn't going to be a creep and stare at you like the last time, but your occasional side-eyes and those doe-like glances weren't helping his case the slightest. He wanted to meet your gaze, he really did, but Bakugou also had pride that forbade him from doing so, so he was left there, frustrated and confused.

He was able to keep that up for eight minutes (he had checked, eight minutes and 34 fucking seconds) before he had finally looked at you. Apparently, all it took was eight minutes for you, too, to fall asleep.

You had fallen asleep.

Again?!

"For fucks sake." Bakugou cursed, pressing his fingers on the bridge of his nose and clenching his teeth. He had already concluded you were mad, but a second time? Was this a fucking habit or something?

He grunted in annoyance, but he couldn't take his eyes off you. You looked so relaxed and calm, the smallest smile on your lips, your head moving along with the movements of the train, hands weakly clutching your bag and phone. He felt almost jealous of how reckless you were.

Almost being the keyword, though.

"Don't you fucking get close." He snarled at the man that had been watching you for a few minutes, and he had only taken a step towards you before he heard the blonde and immediately retreated.

His 'come a little closer and I'll bite your head off' look never once faltering, Bakugou was feeling exhausted when he heard your station's name announced, and you opened your eyes. (despite the earbuds that were in your ears? You couldn't have heard the station's name, so how were you able to wake up right on time?)

You gathered your stuff and raised on your legs, just as the train took a sharp turn and caused you to lose your balance, stumbling over to the blonde. "Fuck!" You muttered as you tried to gain your balance back, but the hand that caught you from your wrist did it for you.

"Th-thank you." You told him, sounding a bit out of breath. You chuckled when he grunted. "Be careful, dumb- just be careful." He muttered, eyes slightly widening when he realized he was about to insult you.

You chuckled once again, and Bakugou had to stop himself from smiling back. "See you later, Bakugou-kun." You waved a shy hand, expecting him to sit back in his place, but instead, he looked at you, baffled.

"How do you know my name?

It was hard to surprise Bakugou. Not only was he extremely smart, but he was also very cautious and usually thought almost everything that could go wrong or not.

But he was genuinely, very sincerely shocked when you had started laughing at his question. Out loud, too. You were bending slightly forwards as you laughed, and Bakugou was both amazed and afraid of the motion. You had one of the prettiest laughs he had seen or heard, but this was the most awkward time you could have shown him that.

He had asked you how you knew his name, and you were laughing? He was starting to think you were even crazier than he thought you were. "You're quite popular, you know." You told him. "It's almost impossible to not know about you, especially if- well, after the sport festival, I'd say." You shrugged, pressing your lips in a mischievous smile, and Bakugou had noticed how you stopped yourself before something had slipped out of your mouth.

"Of course, I am." He replied smugly, but his eyes were watching you now even closer as if he was trying to solve a puzzle.

"Well, I have to go now, thanks again!" You smiled and waved goodbye, and Bakugou couldn't stop his scowl turning into an awkward smile.

~~~

It had turned into an odd form of agreement. 

As days passed, you found yourself sitting closer to him, and after almost a week of bumping into each other, you were now sitting next to him, and he had no complaints. 

He thought it was a bit better, actually. Not because he liked, it, of course, he didn't like being so close to you that your shoulders brushed when you moved, your head falling on his shoulder after only a few minutes of riding the train, sitting so close that your smell filled his senses. 

No, of course, he didn't like that, and Bakugou liked having you sit so close to him because that was more convenient, and nothing else. It was easier to scare people away, to track if anyone walking before you was picking and sliding your phone into their pockets. 

And maybe, just maybe, he might be liking your conversations, too. It wasn't much since you were almost always asleep, but when you weren't, Bakugou decided it wasn't the worst. 

"So, mr. future number one hero," ah, and there was that. You referred to him as that often, and even though he was well aware it was mostly teasing, he had to admit it did affect his ego. "How was your day?"

"Fucking long." He sighed, and you giggled. "You always say that!"

"That's cause every day is fucking long!" He groaned, but he had an odd, almost affectionate smile on his lips that just made your heart giddy. "Well, that's hero course for you." You chuckled, biting your lip as you debated whether he'd push you off if you dropped your head on his shoulder now.

This had become your favorite part of the day. Not only was his caramel scent addicting, and it caused you to have the best sleep of your life (you found yourself unable to sleep without caramel scent and the safe feeling it brought to you, so you had to purchase caramel-scented candles), but he was also always warm.

So you did, deciding to live the moment to its best, closed your eyes and dropped your head, half expecting to be thrown off. But he didn't, chuckled instead, the vibrations of his laugh sending chills through your body. "Sleepy already?" He muttered into your hair, surprising you since you thought he wasn't the type to be comfortable with intimacy much, but he looked relaxed.

You could almost feel him smirking when you nodded softly. "Your day was obviously fucking long as well."

~~~

"Ah, man! I forgot my phone downstairs." Kirishima cussed, rolling his eyes at himself. "Hey, Bakubro, I have to leave immediately, but could you pick my phone up for me?"

"Do I look like a fucking maid from there?"

"Please, please! I have to go, and maybe you'll see your fan, too!" Bakugou's brows furrowed, "Whatever, if it'll make you shut the fuck up." He sighed annoyedly, he wouldn't have agreed any other day, but he had nothing better to do since you had texted him about an hour ago that you were going to be late for the train that day. Something about the school, you had told him.

"Really? Dude, you're a lifesaver, thanks!" Kirishima sighed relieved. "Just wake them up if they're asleep! They're like a cat, almost always sleeping in a corner." He added before he left the room. 

Somehow, that description sounded awfully familiar, Bakugou thought.

"Oi, is anyone fucking here?" He called into the dim litten room when he arrived, mumbling to himself something about extras and dumbasses. He had visited the room once or twice when he was having his gauntlets remade, and why did he feel like he was missing something?

"Oi?" He shouted one more time, red gaze stumbling on the figure that was in the corner of the room, almost hiding behind the table, sleeping. His eyes found a half-melted caramel-scented candle on the table, wondering if it was safe to have a candle in a workshop like this one. A mask and workshop clothes stood right next to the candle.

"Hey, I'm fucking talking to... you." His voice trailed off when they lifted their head, stretching their arms when their eyes found the dumbfounded blonde.

"Oh, hey Katsuki-kun!" You cheered, rising to your legs. 

"What the hell are you- why are you... What the fuck?"

You kept your silence, a mischievous smile on your lips as you waited for him to regain his thoughts. You watched as he connected the pieces, a lightbulb almost visible above his head. "You're a fucking student here!" He yelled, and you couldn't help but giggle at how accusing he sounded. 

"Guilty as charged." You raised your hands, teasing him, knowing this was a one-time chance.

"Ah, would you look at the time." You spoke, inspecting the nonexistent watch on your wrist. "We should hurry if we want to catch the next train, you know." You grinned, watching him as he tried to suppress the smile creeping upon his lips. 

"I guess so." He muttered, frowning as he looked away, but it was only to hide the blush that was settling on his cheeks. 

[ddeonghwaa]

Can We Fix This? (Jaehyun)

Characters: Jaehyun x reader

Genre: angst, romance

Word count: 5.9k

Hello! This is the sequel of my story “Too Late”. I hope you guys give it lots of love because I’ve been working on it for quite some time! Enjoy!

If you haven’t read Too Late, you can read it here.

“I’ve been really happy for the whole five years of being in love with you, Jaehyun. Thank you for all the memories we’ve shared. I know I’ve done my best for every single moment I had with you in this relationship, so I have no regrets. Regrets… I hope you regret what you did to me and reflect on your actions.”

"I did, I regret my actions so much y/n. Please don’t leave me.”

You shook your head lightly and took a step back away from him. 

“I can’t do this anymore.” You looked at him for one last time, tears brimming your eyes. Tears that looked like fragile crystals, they could break any time. Before you let the tears fall, you said one last thing to him.

“Once you’re done packing my things, leave them outside.”

Your last encounter with Jaehyun kept on replaying in your head although a few days had passed. Breaking up with someone you have loved with your whole heart wasn’t easy. Everything now felt so… empty. You weren’t used to being with your own company.

Never would you have imagined yourself saying that to Jaehyun - who you thought would be the love of your life forever. But things ended up very different from what the both of you had expected. You didn’t want to blame Yewon entirely, because you knew your relationship with Jaehyun at that time wasn’t the healthiest either.

At that moment, as if Yewon knew that you were diving deep into a black hole in your mind about this, a text from her came.

Yewon: Hello, it’s me, Yewon. I’m sorry if I am bothering you. If you don’t mind, I would like to have a talk with you over lunch today.

You furrowed your brows in confusion, “What does she have to say?” At first, you thought of rejecting her invitation because you didn’t have anything to say to her. However, you ended up accepting her lunch invitation to listen to whatever Yewon has to say. Giving her a chance to justify her actions? Maybe you could forgive her then.

-

You immediately regretted agreeing to meet up with Yewon because it just made you feel worse about yourself. The two of you went to a nearby café and sat in front of each other. You hated - no - you despised this atmosphere with Yewon. “Why did you want to meet up?” You started. Yewon cleared her throat and looked at you. “Um, I don’t know if I should say this right now, after your breakup with-”

You shot her a glare when she mentioned about your recent breakup. Who in this whole world would think it was a good idea to bring it up to someone who just recently went through it? Especially when she was partly the reason for it.

“I just thought I’d tell you this. I’m really sorry but I have sincere feelings for Jaehyun,” You flinched when you heard his name, “and I am thinking of dating him seriously. I feel guilty because of you so I thought of asking you first about it.”

You scoffed at the absurd statement. Is this girl for real? The audacity to say this to me after what she has done? You thought to yourself.

Tried maintaining your facial expressions, you replied with an “Oh.”

After what felt like a long minute, you voiced, “You can do whatever you want. It’s not like he is my boyfriend anymore. We broke up, so he can date whoever he wants.”

No. I’m still not over him. I can’t see him dating anyone else. Especially you, Yewon.

You bit your lower lips, trying hard not to break down in front of her. The corner of Yewon’s lips raised as she shot you a smile, “Yeah, but I’m really sorry about your breakup though. I knew getting in between the both of you was wrong, but I couldn’t help it,” she said insensitively.

Her apology didn’t seem sincere and you were trying your best not to smack her in the face. She looks like she’s putting on this show to look like this sweet and nice girl that everyone likes.

“Go ahead, I’m not stopping you. But just so you know, Jaehyun really loved me and I don’t think he’d get over me that fast. What you had with him was only temporary flutters, not real love. He only wavered a little, he didn’t fall for you. He remembers every little thing we did together, every single date, every single kiss,” you shrugged and took a sip of the tea you ordered.

“To be honest, I don’t even know if he’d date you because you’d remind him of how we broke up. If you really end up dating him, I hope his memories with me will continue to haunt him and you would remind him of how he broke my heart. Although I got over it already now.”

Liar. You sound the total opposite.

“Yeah but I’ll try anyways because I really want to date him. I really want to give it a shot.”

“Yeah, go for it. You know what, Yewon?” You grabbed the glass of water in front of you and unexpectedly threw the water at Yewon without hesitation. “Don’t you think I at least deserve to do this?”

Yewon’s eyes turned big as she stood up immediately. She was shocked at what just happened and just stared at her dress that got wet.

Yes, this is not a dream. You really did that. You re-enacted a typical scene from Kdramas and it felt so satisfying. You didn’t even know you had the courage in you to do that. Other customers in the café looked weirdly at you and obviously showed expressions of sympathy for Yewon. But you didn’t care anymore. “I know it’s wrong to do that, but I couldn’t help it,” you shrugged, throwing back her own words to her.

“I hope one day you experience the same as I did. I hope you go through the pain I’m in right now because of you.”

“What did you just do?! I know you’re mad, but how can you do that?! UGH!” she shouted as her hands reached for her glass of water to throw it back at you. Your eyes squeezed shut, expecting yourself to get drenched, but nothing happened.

You peeked one of your eyes open and saw a hand stopping Yewon from doing so. A hand so familiar that you almost forgot he no longer belongs to you. It was Jaehyun.

You didn’t know how he magically appeared there but there he was, staring at you in concern. Your heart started beating so fast it felt like it was going to jump out of your chest. Your breathing started to get faster each second and your palms turned cold. Clenching your hands into a fist, you tried to calm down.

I miss you. It’s only been a few days but I miss you so much, Jung Jaehyun.

You snapped back into reality when you heard Jaehyun whisper sadly, “Y/n… Are you alright?” Letting out a sigh, you picked up your bag and gave Yewon a last cold glare.

“Go get your shot,” You started walking away from the two of them, not even sparing Jaehyun a look.

“She started it first!” You heard Yewon complain to Jaehyun right when you left and thankfully her voice faded the further away you got from the café. Every second felt so suffocating with the presence of him. You couldn’t hug or kiss him like you used to. You couldn’t even take a proper look at his face without breaking down right there. You wished you could get over Jaehyun fast. Or sometimes you wished things went back to how they were before Yewon appeared. But it was too late.

-

It has been a tough week after the incident and you couldn’t hang out with most of your friends anymore because the two of you shared a similar group of friends. You shivered at the thought of them asking about Jaehyun and how unprofessional you would react to their questions ��� like bawling in front of everyone because of heartbroken you were. Yeah, you didn’t want that. Also, you didn’t want to make them feel awkward and walk on eggshells because of the breakup, although they probably already knew by now or have caught on.

The following days were filled with nothing but avoiding Jaehyun. You created this mission for yourself to help you get over him fast. It was difficult because he lives in the same building as you and moving out from your apartment wasn’t really the best option now.

One time, the elevator doors opened and before setting your foot in it, you looked up only to see Jaehyun standing inside. He looked at you softly and pressed the open button to hold the doors for you.

But you weren’t ready to face him. You immediately took a few steps back and turned, running back to your apartment.

“Y/n! Why are you running away from me…” he sighed sadly and closed the elevator doors.

A few days after that, he waited for you in front of your class to talk. When the class ended and you exited the room, he took your hands softly and whispered, “Y/n, can we talk? I have something to say to you. Please.”

“I don’t think I want to hear anything else from you,” you replied as you signalled to your hands, “Can you let go of my hands, please?” Jaehyun’s shoulders dropped as he let go of your hands again. He really didn’t want to let go this time, but he couldn’t do anything about it.

You hated feeling this way about yourself. You kept on blaming how you weren’t good enough for Jaehyun, how you were so foolish to end this relationship when you knew for a fact that you can’t live without him. Your best friend witnessed your breakdowns and she couldn’t stand seeing you suffer like that anymore.

Being the amazing best friend ever, she made appointments at hair and nail salons to give you a treat and to just cheer yourself up. You were so grateful for her, because without her, you would have struggled so much more alone.

You felt bad for yourself for not trying all of these earlier, because looking at Yewon, she was so pretty, always having her hair and nails nicely done. She’s young and knows how to present herself prettily in front of others. You envied her for that. So after so long, it felt nice getting your hair done, getting manicures and pedicures in pretty colours you’ve never tried before. It was like turning a new page in your life, trying to start anew.

Jaehyun, on the other hand, was having the hardest time of his life. He couldn’t understand how you were coping up so well because he sees you smiling in campus from time to time and it broke him more and more.

He couldn’t concentrate in class, stared into space most of the time and looked so dishevelled as if he only showered once every few days. He even got into trouble for not submitting his assignments properly. He had lost weight because he’s not been eating well after the incident. His appetite never came back and he only ate a little to make sure he stays alive.

Basically, life was giving him shit. And it was what he deserved. He had the most precious human being with him for five years and he took you for granted.

Just when he thought things couldn’t get any worse, it did. His mother decided to visit him that week to drop off some side dishes. She usually drops by every two months ever since Jaehyun moved out from the family house to stay in the apartment located near the university campus.

"You look terrible,” Jaehyun's mother said as soon as she arrives in his apartment.  She fixed Jaehyun's hair a bit and patted his head. “Thanks, mum. Really needed that,” Jaehyun replied in sarcasm as he raised a brow to look at his mother.

“I brought your favourite side dishes and I packed more for y/n too this time. You told me she really liked it last time, remember?” Jaehyun lightly nodded as she placed some of the side dishes in Jaehyun’s fridge and put aside the ones she brought for you.

His heart broke when he heard that because he hasn’t told his mother yet about the two of you. He knows how much she loves you and was hoping for the two of you to get married right after graduation. So, he couldn’t bring himself to tell her about the situation right now.

"Since I’m here, I should go drop by y/n's place too. Let’s go together, Jaehyun. Help me carry all these side dishes. They’re so heavy! I hope y/n enjoys them."

“Umm mum-" He bit his lip and felt genuinely scared. What if you were as broken as him? He couldn’t bear seeing you like that. His mother looked at him with a questioning look, “What?”

He blinked and lightly shook his head, “N-nothing. Let’s go.”

Maybe it wasn’t the best idea, but he was curious and wanted to see how you were doing. What if the smiles you had on campus were all just a show? How well were you actually coping with the breakup? Were you eating all your meals?

Jaehyun just wanted to see you.

Jaehyun led his mother to your apartment while carrying all the side dishes she has packed for you. She rang the doorbell, "Y/n, are you at home?"

Jaehyun unconsciously started biting his lower lips harder than usual that it turned so red. I’m finally seeing her after so long. He thought.

Not long after, you replied, “Yes, I am!”

You opened the door and bowed to Jaehyun’s mother politely, greeting her after so long of not seeing each other. Surprisingly, you didn’t look shocked or caught off guard even when you saw Jaehyun standing behind his mother. Instead, he was the one looking shocked with widened eyes. He looked like a lost puppy with sad eyes staring at you.

How much you’ve missed that man standing right there.

You just wanted to throw your arms around him and hug him tightly. You wanted to kiss his cheeks, lips, nose forehead, but you couldn’t. Instead, pushed your feelings aside and focused on his mother instead.

“How have you been, Mrs Jung?” you asked as you led her to the living room. She took a seat on the sofa and softly smiled while looking at you.

"I’ve been well as always. You look extra beautiful today, y/n. I can tell you’ve been well too,” she caressed your hands and patted them softly.

I’m not doing so well though. You thought, but you just smiled back at her in response.

“I brought some extra side dishes for you too this time. Jaehyun told me you really liked the jangjorim (soy braised beef) I made last time, so I packed more for you," she pointed at the containers that Jaehyun was placing on your kitchen counter and you thanked her.  

You turned to Jaehyun, but he avoided your eyes. You knew that he probably has not told his mother yet about your breakup and you understood that. You knew Jaehyun didn’t want to disappoint his mother. So, you just went along with it. Although inside, you were hurting. Your heart hasn’t healed, and it was breaking more every second you glanced at Jaehyun. He looked so lost and unattended. You could feel tears brimming in your eyes but you tried holding it in.

Crying in front of his mother didn’t sound like a good idea.

"So, how's university and studies so far? Doing good?"  Jaehyun’s mother asked as Jaehyun took a seat next to her after arranging the side dishes. You nodded in response, “Yeah we're graduating soon, so things are not that easy, but manageable, I guess. By the way, would you like some tea or coffee? I’ll make them for you.”

She shook her head, “It’s okay, I’m not staying that long but it’s good to hear that you’re doing well,” she cleared her throat and leaned closer to you, “Anyways, I hope you won’t get offended by what I’m about to ask.”

You blinked and slowly nodded, “S-sure.” Jaehyun sensed that something was coming. "Mum-"

Before he could even stop her, she has already thrown her question, "Are the two of you planning to get engaged as soon as you graduate?"

Silence filled the room and you could feel the tension rising.

Jaehyun groaned and ruffled his hair in frustration. “Mum, I told you to not talk about this.” She pouted, “I know, I’m sorry. I’m just curious about you two. It’s been a while since I’ve seen my future daughter-in-law.”

You awkwardly smiled without answering. Suddenly you felt as if there wasn’t enough oxygen in the room because it was suffocating. Jaehyun saw from your eyes how you were hurting and it was so hard for the two of you to be in the same space right now. So, he mustered up his courage and spoke up.

"Mum, listen,” he hesitated and took a glance at you, “We- we broke up. We’re taking a break from each other and it’s all my fault."

Your eyes widened when Jaehyun suddenly said that. You couldn’t help but feel bad for him.

Jaehyun waited for his mother to be shocked and yell at him for being such a jerk to you. He was expecting his mother to scold you for breaking up with her son. He was ready to face the wrath of his mother and was already expecting the worse. But his mother did the exact opposite.

The atmosphere was unexpectedly calm. It was so calm that it made you feel more uncomfortable.

She calmly placed a hand on top of yours and caressed it gently. "Ah I didn’t know,” she paused, “I’m so sorry for being insensitive about it, y/n. I don’t know what the both of you went through, but I hope you’re doing fine,” she smiled warmly. Her presence was so warm you wanted to just jump into her arms and cry your heart out about how much you’ve been hurting as if she was really your own mother.

Tears filled your eyes to the brim and Jaehyun’s mother noticed that immediately. She knew that the longer they stayed in your apartment, the harder it was for you. She then stood up and took her purse, “We should get going now, Jaehyun. Enjoy the side dishes, yn! Stay healthy, okay?” She smiled at you so dearly and patted your cheeks gently for one last time.

Such motherly love.

You let the tears fall slowly down your cheeks as you greet them out of your apartment because you couldn’t hold them in any longer. Jaehyun saw your tears and his heart broke even more. That’s when he realised, you weren’t doing so well either.

-

Jaehyun sat across Yewon in a café because he wanted to talk to her. He wanted to clarify things so she wouldn’t have hopes of wanting to date him. He knew his heart only belonged to you.

“You broke up with y/n anyways, and I’m partly because of it. You were also wavered by me at that time,” Jaehyun frowned at Yewon’s words, because he knew it was true. However, Yewon wasn’t the girl he wanted to be with. It was true that he was wavered by her when they texted each other daily, but it meant nothing to him.

He sighed. Yewon bit her lower lip and glanced at Jaehyun. “We don’t have to date straight away because I know you just went through a sad breakup,” she paused, “But I will wait for you.”

“Yewon,” Jaehyun started, “Even if a long time has passed after I broke up with y/n and I can date anyone I want, it wouldn’t be you.”

Yewon’s brows furrowed and she looked devastated. “W-Why not?”

“You keep on reminding me of her, so how could I date you?”

She scoffed as she heard his words, “What does that even mean?” Jaehyun let out another sigh, “The only reason I talked to you was because you reminded me of the young y/n I met in high school. So pure and innocent, felt like I needed to protect her always. When you approached me for the first time, you gave off the same vibes as her and that was what made me continue talking to you. You were so similar to y/n.”

Yewon stared at him in disbelief, “What? I-,”

Before she even continued, Jaehyun cut her off, “Don’t be mistaken. It’s not that I can’t date you because there’s y/n in the middle, but the reason I even noticed you was because of y/n.”

“So, what you’re saying is, you weren’t really wavered by me, but only talked to me because I was similar to y/n?” She said sadly, as Jaehyun lightly nodded in response.

“I’m sorry. I’m know that I’m also at fault for giving you hope back then, and I want to apologise for that. That is not something someone with a girlfriend should be doing, and I messed up. But let me tell you something, even if I’ve broken up with y/n now, I don’t have any thoughts of dating you at all. Heck, I don’t want to be with anyone else other than y/n,” Jaehyun took another glance at Yewon and drank his coffee.

Yewon looked so defeated and embarrassed because she was mistaken all along. She thought she could have a chance with Jaehyun after the breakup but unfortunately her plan went downhill.

-

Days and weeks passed as the two of you tried distracting yourselves with the upcoming exams. The final step before graduating college. You knew you couldn’t delve in deeper into being sad because of the breakup because it was affecting you negatively. But at the same time, you also knew how unhealthy it was to dismiss your own feelings.

It’s okay to be sad. It’s okay to cry when you’re down. Everyone has those days. It will get better.

You tried telling this to yourself everyday and it was one of the coping skills that you realised helped.

But it wasn’t easy.

Traces of each other were left in daily routines and you can’t stop thinking about each other. 

Is it normal for every breakup to be like this?

When Jaehyun ate meals alone, he felt so lonely. He missed being in your company where you had lots to talk about. Your happy, cheerful smiles brightened up his days and now he couldn’t see them anymore. All you ever asked was his attention and that was the least he could have given you, but he failed.

He remembered how much of a jerk he had been during your last few dates before you broke up. How dare he streamed a soccer game when in front of him sitting was the most beautiful woman? Too late for regrets now.

When he went to wash up, he saw your pink toothbrush next to his and remembered the times when you were too lazy to freshen up that he had to carry you to the toilet and make brushing teeth more fun. Jaehyun laughed softly at the sweet memory. Now his days were dull. He didn’t sleep, spent all his nights studying for finals. Bed feels bigger now without you lying there with him. He even spread out all the pillows he had to feel enveloped and cope with the loneliness he was feeling.

The bed depicts so much of his heart right now, empty.

On the other hand, you weren’t doing so well either. On the outside, you looked like you were doing okay. But little did people know you were hurting every night too. When you opened your drawer, you saw some of his hoodies placed in there for him to wear whenever he sleeps over at your place, and now he doesn’t come over anymore. You felt hot tears flowing down your cheeks as you shut your eyes.

You missed him.

You missed his scent, his touch, his presence. You missed having meals with him, watching movies together, cuddling, kissing, and just… loving each other. Maybe you missed Jung Jaehyun. Maybe, just maybe, you wanted him back in your life. You never expected him to affect you so much.

-

It was soon graduation day and you made it. You still weren’t sure how you survived university, but you did. After going up stage for the certificate giving ceremony, you found yourself outdoors at the campus, staring into space.

A lot had happened throughout your journey in university and you couldn’t believe that you even got yourself a degree amid the chaos. You looked down at your degree certificate on your lap and chuckled to yourself at how ridiculous your situation was.

Staying up at night while burning the midnight oils were already so difficult, but adding a breakup on top of that? It was the worst. You swore that you almost gave up a few times, but you didn’t want to affect your future just because of the incident.

Jaehyun didn’t bother you anymore after the day his mother came to visit because he couldn’t bear seeing you heartbroken anymore. He’d always just look out for you from afar, making sure you’re safe. He didn’t want to bother you, so you can study in peace. He promised to himself that he would give you some space and look for you only after graduation.

Now there he was, on graduation day, looking for you after the ceremony ended. In his hands were his folded graduation robe and mortar board. He spotted you from afar and his gaze softened at the sight of you. You also had your robe folded next to you, while you held onto your certificate.

With a thumping heart and nervous palms, he slowly approached you. You noticed a figure coming towards you and looked up. Your eyes matched Jaehyun’s and you swear you could feel your heart bursting. It’s been a while since you’ve seen him, and you forgot how it felt to get butterflies in your tummy. But your gaze turned sad when you were realised that you were not dating him anymore.

“Hey, can I sit here?” Jaehyun asked, signaling to the empty seat next to you. You nodded in response and moved to the side to give him more space.

He sat next to you, leaving a little gap in between in case you felt uncomfortable. “You look really pretty today,” he said, “I mean, you always do.”

“Thank you,” your heartbeat got faster at his simple words and you felt yourself turning red. The wind blew and you could smell his cologne that he usually has on him. The one you bought for him because you really liked the scent on him. You missed this scent so much that it felt so unfamiliar today. But it was nice.

“Congratulations on graduating. Your efforts paid off,” he flashed a sincere smile to you. You turned away immediately because you knew you couldn’t handle looking at him. You could cry any time now because of how much you missed him. But you didn’t want him to know that. You didn’t want to show him the side of you crying because you were the one who ended the relationship. You didn’t want to seem pathetic. “You too. Congratulations,” you whispered.

“How have you been?” he asked. You almost scoffed at his obnoxious question because he obviously knows you weren’t doing well after the breakup. “Good. You?” you said in short.

“Not really.”

You blinked and didn’t reply to his answer.

The breakup happened only a few weeks before graduation and the both of you were still broken because of it. You never really had a proper closure because both kept on running away from each other, avoiding the topic. It’s now finally time to sit alone and talk about it. Just the two of you, nobody else.

“Finals really took a toll on your life, huh?” you joked, trying to make the mood livelier. But you still avoided eye contact, and it just made the situation more awkward. “Yeah. That too,” he replied.

Silence.

Jaehyun sensed that you were avoiding his eyes, so he tried to change the topic.

“Remember when we graduated high school a few years ago?”

You nodded in response, “Yeah. What about it?”

Jaehyun slightly glanced at you and chuckled to himself, “Am I the only childish one who remembers what we said then?’ You raised your brows in confusion.

He replied, “I thought we could conquer the world then. I really thought graduating high school was everything,” he laughed, “But you made me promise to graduate university together too.”

You smiled softly at the fond memory of innocent high school kids graduating. Both of you ditched the rest of your friends to go on a jjajangmyeon (black bean noodles) date together. “Yeah and we made it. We graduated both high school and university,” you replied.

Jaehyun lightly nodded and continued after a few seconds of hesitation. “But I also made another promise.”

He searched for your eyes, and this time, you looked into his sad eyes to listen to what he has to say. “I promised you that I’d take care of you and that I’d never hurt you. Your trusted me with that, but I-,” he stopped and let out a sigh, “I couldn’t fulfil it. I made you think of me as someone who would never hurt you, but I did.”

You turned silent as you listened to him. You felt bad that he thinks this way about himself. You never asked him to be perfect, you just wanted his presence in your life.

“Y/n,” he called. “Hmm?”

“I don’t think I can let go of our five-year relationship just like this. Things were so good for the five years, and only a small part of it went bad. It’s all my fault and I’m really sorry for that.”

You bit your lower lips and fondled your fingers in nervousness. You didn’t know how to reply to Jaehyun and your heart wasn’t calming itself down any moment now. You turned to him and caught his eyes. They looked so fragile, he had tears in them that looked like they were ready to fall any time now.

“I was so caught up trying to do my best for you to a point where I lost myself in between that. It made me scared whenever I think of you finding someone better than me because I know I’m not worth your love. You deserve someone so much better than me, so I tried becoming better. I tried to improve but I found myself getting lost. I sought assurance from someone else to make myself feel better, but it didn’t,” you knew he was talking about Yewon, and you nodded lightly, signalling him to continue while you listen.

“I thought that maybe talking to you less would lessen the mistakes I make, but it ended up making things worse. I was lucky enough that you gave me another chance- heck, you gave me a lot of chances and I blew them all away,” he ruffled his hair in frustration, ruining the hair he had prepared for graduation. Your brows furrowed as you stared at his now messy hair. You wanted to reach out and fix it for him, but he continued talking.

“I love you so much, I don't think I can ever let you go, y/n. The thought of losing you completely because of how I broke your heart hurt me so much that it almost killed me. You can call me a jerk, you can curse the heck out of me, you can leave me now, but I just wanted to say that it will always be you. It has always been you. I can never see myself loving someone else other than you, y/n. And I'm so sorry for hurting you. I regret it so much. I’m- I’m really sorry.”

At the end of his words, Jaehyun was already sobbing. He covered his face with his hands and just kept on crying. Your heart broke at the sight and you felt yourself tearing up as well. You extended your hands and reached out to pat his back gently. “It’s okay,” you said, “It’s okay to let it all out, Jae.”

You wiped your own tears and sniffed silently. “I’m sorry too. I should have trusted you more and gave you a chance to properly explain yourself, but I didn’t. I went along with my anger and broke up with you.”

Jaehyun’s sobs got softer and he looked up to face you. His eyes and nose were red from all the crying, but you still thought he looked adorable.

You chuckled although you still had tears in your eyes, “Do you think we can fix this? Fix us?” You asked him and gave his hair a quick fix. Jaehyun’s eyes widened as you asked that. “Does that mean you’re giving me another chance?”

You softly nodded and smiled.

“That day, when you met up with Yewon at the café after our breakup, a friend of mine was there. She didn’t mean to eavesdrop, but she heard what you said to her and told me. My friend said maybe it could help me be less angry towards you,” you chuckled, “And weirdly, it did.”

Jaehyun sighed in relief and a small smile started to appear on his face. “You told her that you talked to her because she reminded you of me?” he nodded in response to your question. “Then why didn’t you just talk to me? I was always there with you,” you asked.

Jaehyun nodded and slowly took your hands into his. Your hands were so cold because of the nervousness earlier, and the warmth from his felt so nice. As if his warm hands were made to hold yours in them. “I told you I feared making mistakes and hurting you. I wanted to be the perfect boyfriend for you and I still want to.”

You furrowed your brows, “You’re perfect with all of your flaws, Jaehyun. I thought I’ve always told you that. I love you as you are, and I don’t need you to change any bit of it. I love you, Jung Jaehyun.”

Jaehyun felt his heart beat fast when he heard that. He held your hands tighter and looked you in the eyes softly. “I love you too, y/n.”

You teared up again and slowly wrapped your arms around Jaehyun to give him a big, tight hug. A hug you’ve been wanting to give him since forever and today you finally had the chance to. Jaehyun returned the hug and wrapped his arms tightly around you too. He whispered, “I’ll never let you go again.”

“Let’s go get jjajangmyeon, just like the old days?” Jaehyun asked when you released the hug, “Anywhere with you sounds great,” you smiled and caressed his cheeks. Jaehyun leaned in and gave you a peck on the lips. Your brows raised and he shrugged.

“Couldn’t help it. My girl looks amazing today.”

The both of you stared at each other for some time and laughed. You went through so much together and now, you were happy you got back with Jaehyun. Jaehyun was also elated because he finally got bac together with the love of his life. “No one else, only you y/n.”

To happier days ahead.

It’s never too late.

    masterlist

Tell me what you think of this piece! Your comments give me lots of strength and motivation to write more and improve. I hope all of you enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it. Thank you for your support! I really appreciate it.

[asterroidd]

sho the todorki

↬ pairing: shouto todoroki x reader

↬ synopsis: you like him, he likes you. the problem? sho's in the friend zone and so it's up to mina, the resident match maker, and company to give you guys a lil push.

alternatively: sho being a dork, hence the title

↬ warning/s: profanity lol, a lot of second hand embarrassment, two insufferable idiots, idk if this is too ooc of shouto but just take this dorky version of him

↬ note: a fic dedicated to @puredivinity​ that serves as a welcome gift for joining the sho simp club. luv u mara despite all the cursed images i send

    Class 3-A has four unspoken rules:

    Number one: never play music out loud beyond 8 pm (tried and tested by Denki himself, got blown up by Bakugo)

    Number two: don't leave your room at 2 am or a certain grape pervert would harass you

    Number three: refrain from mentioning crocs to Kirishima. Just don’t.

    And number four: never tell you or Shouto that both of you like each other (just for the sake of entertainment)

    It had become customary to not break these four rules or those who dare break it is rumored to have a thousand year duration of bad luck to be passed down generation after generation.

    That said, Mina was fed up with the mutual pining you and Shouto clearly exhibit. For two years she watched both of you shy and fluster with one another. His face beet red while you a fumbling mess. Truly a sight to behold. It was like watching a romance movie in real time, but without the stupid opening track. 

    At first she thought it was cute, it all started one morning during her first year in U.A. You forgot your jacket that day after waking up late and thus have to rush to get on time. Aizawa would have your head if you weren't there in homeroom. So in your idiocy and frantic state, you forgot most of the essential stuff and that includes, of course, a warm jacket.

    Mina watched as Shouto stared at you from across the room.  With tense shoulders as his gaze constantly drift from your form to his jacket. Her mouth curled upwards, interested with the current situation. It was not every day one could see the infamous Todoroki Shouto so nervous.

    She eagerly kept her attention on him, watching as Shouto got up from his seat and slowly made his way to you with shaky legs. Shouto, barely uttering a word, shoved his jacket to you and rushed back to his seat. At that moment, Mina already knew something was blossoming between you and him.

    And so it basically became her life mission to make sure you and Shouto end up with one another. She made the promise two years ago, and yet here you both were, two dorks that has a crush on each other but couldn't confess even if the world ends that very moment.

    Was it difficult to watch? Yes.

   It took all of Mina's entire being to not push his head into yours. She knows the consequences if one breaks the fourth rule. Two years had already pass and graduation is around the corner, she refuses to accept that both of you aren't a couple. As Class 3-A's resident cupid and match maker, she is more than determined to make sure you and him both end up together. Mina would not be inherently breaking rule number four, just gonna give you guys a lil' push with the help of a friend. And that friend is one that possesses an electrification quirk.

    "Okay, what do we tell (____) tomorrow?" Denki asked.

    Shouto looked over his written notes one last time before nodding and giving his answer, "I'll ask them if they want to have coffee."

    "Good! Make sure to?"

    "I'll make sure to keep eye contact and. . ." he halted, going over his notes once more. "And make sure that I'm smiling."

    Denki flashed him a grin. Clasping a hand around his shoulder and lightly patting it afterwards. "Now, don't forget the lesson I've taught you today. It is important that your date goes smoothly with (____)."

    Shouto eagerly nodded, stars dancing in his eyes. His heart clamored inside his chest, beating in a quick tempo comparable to that of allegro. Sweat accumulated on his palm, in which Shouto then hastily wiped it on his shirt. Despite nervousness bubbling inside his stomach, Shouto admits that he is excited to ask you out.  "Do you really think (____) and I would be a great couple?"

    "Of course, dude! Right, Mina?" Denki turned to his friend. She gave him two thumbs-up, giving fuel to Shouto's confidence for tomorrow's event.

    Now that Denki is done giving him an hour-long lesson about asking you out and things to do in a date, Mina was sure everything would go smooth as butter. Like, what could go wrong? Despite Shouto being a dork and foreign to the concept of love, he still has that natural charm that had some swooning for him.

    Though, she spoke all too soon.

    Mina facepalmed, dragging her palm across her face as Shouto stood frozen before you. She and Denki should've seen this coming.

    "(____)," he started, his voice cracking at the end. Suddenly the discoloration and grime in between the cracks of the wall looks interesting. He kept looking everywhere but you.

    You tilted your head to the side, "What's up, Sho?"

    Heavens above, Shouto loves that nickname.

    The male fiddles with the ends of his shirt, his tongue twisting and throat closing which makes it hard to speak. After class had ended, Shouto came up to you asking if he could talk to you somewhere private. He led you to the area behind the gym where no students are on sight. Well, that is except for Mina and Denki who closely followed behind to make sure Shouto wouldn't mess up his chance. The two stayed low, making sure they are well hidden behind the bush nearby.

   This was now the moment; the perfect chance for Shouto to ask you out after practicing his lines over and over again. It was a simple question: ‘Do you want to have coffee with me this weekend if you are free?”

   Should be easy enough right?

    "I- well- uhh. . ." he scratched the area behind his ear. "D-do you maybe want to free?"

    Shouto paled, he'd done messed up.

    "Wait that's wrong—" he took a deep breath. "Are you coffee this weekend?"

    Really? Really Shouto?

    "Shit— wait! Coffee this free??"

    Can someone take this lost child away?

    Denki bit his inner cheek, hands tugging his hair from second hand embarrassment. He had fate on him; had fate that Shouto had rehearsed enough the night before in asking you out. Guess he was wrong.

    "What do you mean by that?" you voiced out. You were beyond puzzled, unsure what to make of the situation. First he asks to speak with you in private, now he's a stuttering mess. Could it be that he's confessing? Asking you out?

    Your heart quickened at the thought. You were ready to say 'yes'.

    "What I mean is uhh. . ." Shouto wished he has his written notes. "Are you weekend for this coffee?"

    "YES!!" you shout without thinking.

    Wait, what? Hold up.

    "Aight, I'm forcing these two to kiss each other." Mina announced. That’s it. She lost hope for the both of you. You and Shouto need professional help. She adjusted her position, ready to get up and intervene. That is until Denki lay a heavy hand on her shoulder.

    "Wait," he motioned his head to you. Mina huffed, sitting down once more.

    "Sho. . ." you start, a soft smile on your face.

    "Y-yes?" damn, Shouto is such a stuttering mess.

    "Do you want to grab a coffee this weekend? I mean, if you are free?"

    He blinked, your words slowly being registered in his brain. There was a buffer, like an old computer processing 10 kilobyte worth of data. His brain was stuck on 78% in the progress bar. Then, it dawned on him; the cogs and gears turning. It took a full minute for Shouto to understand. "I-. . .I’d love to!" he managed to stutter out.

    Welp, at least that did the job. Denki and Mina released a sigh of relief. High-fiving each other despite the obvious fact that Shouto failed his task.

    But hey, beggars can't be choosers. All's well, ends well.

    You can't believe it.

    You have a date with Shouto. THE Todoroki Shouto. The guy you've had a crush on since your first year in UA. The one that swept you right off your feet the moment you laid your eyes on him. The friend that always had your back. With him struggling to ask you earlier, could it mean that he likes you more than a friend?

    You let out a squeal, pressing the pillow flush against your chest. In total, you've replayed the scene from memory for over fifty times already. You couldn't even concentrate in doing your homework. So you thought instead of doing your responsibilities, you opted to celebrate by screaming and running around your room in glee.

   It wasn't everyday you'd get a douse of serotonin.

   You’ve waited for this day since forever. Day dreaming about Shouto being your significant other; holding hands with him, wrapping your arms around his torso, and kissing his lips.

   The thought brought forth another pterodactyl squeal from you.

   Oh gods, what would you wear? Should it be casual? Semi-formal? Formal?

   A wedding dress??

   No one told you a date was this stressful. You groaned, prying opening your wardrobe cabinet to quickly plan out an outfit. You can’t afford to look stupid and, dare you say, cheap when you’re on a date with the most sought after male in UA.

   Meanwhile, Shouto is also panicking.

   “Look man, you messed up once but that’s okay!” Denki cheered him up. “Experience is the best teacher.”

   “I know but. . .” Shouto took one deep breath, burying his face in his hands. “I-. . .I just froze up the moment I was in front of them.”

   “And that’s normal!”

   The moment you and Shouto parted ways, the male immediately went to Denki for some follow up consultation. Sure, he can fight villains face-to-face without batting an eye. Could freeze half of his enemies without a drop of sweat. Unleash an inferno of fire to defeat his oponent. Tolerate a bunch of fans shoving cameras up his face to get a close-up picture.

   But Todoroki Shouto, for the love of god, couldn’t ask you out without freezing in place and become a stuttering mess.

   “Lighten up man!” Denki nudged his shoulder. “Unleash the tiger inside you.”

   “But I don’t have a tiger inside me. That would be anatomically incorrect.”

   “Look—that’s not the—. . .what I mean is—uhh. . .nevermind. . .” the blond struggled with his words. He had to be careful with what advice he throw at Shouto. That man takes things way too literately. “What I mean is, toughen up. Have confidence on yourself. You’ll have (____) falling for you before you knew it.”

   Which will be easy since (____) is a simp for him, Denki thought.

   Shouto raised his fist then clenched it, determination washing over him. He gave one brief nod to his mentor (that is the personification of Pikachu).

   He can do it. Todoroki Shouto could do it.

   He’d go over his lines a thousand times before the date. He’d make sure he is 110% prepared before the weekend. Denki had made a dent in his schedule just to tutor him how to make you fall in love with him. Shouto wouldn’t let this go to waste.

   Yes, this man is prepared and is on a mission he couldn't possibly fail.

   Scratch that, Shouto’s a mess.

   He pulled the end of his sleeves, his legs bouncing up and down. The male bit the inside of his cheeks, was the weather hot or was it just his insides burning up. Shouto couldn’t sleep the night before, his mind kept him up. It was like 17 browser tabs are open, with three of them frozen, and he doesn’t know where the music is coming from.

   Due to the jitters getting the best of him, Shouto arrived at the agreed destination. . .two hours earlier than what was expected.

   Which wasn’t a problem anyway, since you did the same.

   You huffed, doubling over and placing your hands on your knees. You had ran from your house all the way to the cafe just to make sure you weren't late this time. In attempts to catch your breath, you’ve failed to notice your date standing just a few feet away from you. The minute Shouto laid his eyes on you, fire sparked deep within his heart. Someone pinch him and tell this wasn’t a dream.

   “(____),” he walked close to which startled you.

   “Sho! You-. . . you’re early!”

   “So are you. . .”

   Then silence fell between both of you. Talk about awkward. Who’s idea was it to get these two idiots in a date? If anything, both of you should’ve just left it on mutual pining and save it as a story for the grandchildren.

   Shouto cleared his throat, hands scratching the back of his neck. “Well, since we’re both early. Why won’t we enter the café?”

   You nodded, your voice box failing you. Inwardly, you were screaming your heart out. The embarrassment was just too much for you to handle. You doubt that Shouto would want a second date at this point.

   And so you lagged behind him, keeping a feet distance away from the male. You have a hard time looking at him without making a mess for yourself. Blood rushing your cheeks, it was hard to ignore the butterflies fluttering inside your stomach.

   The café was quite small. A handful of potted plants hung outside, the store’s name written in calligraphy, and a few customers visible from the window. The establishment was newly built, Ochako introduced it to you about a week ago. The cheesecake they sell is to die for—it was definitely worth the hefty price.

   A small chime went off as Shouto opened the door. Then it hit you; the strong smell of coffee. You were not a big fan of the beverage, but you’ve got to admit that the scent was pleasant. Without prior warning, Shouto lightly held your hand in his. His thumb gliding over the back of your hand a few times. You took in a sharp inhale, eyes widening at his gesture.

   This is what they do in dates right? Shouto recalled his notes.

   So this is like a DATE date?? Not a friendly date? Somebody pinch me right now, you thought.

   “We should find a table,” he spoke, eyes refusing to make contact with yours. You’ve managed to stutter out an agreement, too occupied with the feeling of his hands. It was so warm—just the way you imagined it throughout the years.

   You could finally die now in peace. Goodbye cruel world.

   Soon enough, you and he are situated on a table near the window. Neither of you dare start a conversation, because god forbid another awkward interaction. Years worth of watching romance series could have never prepared you for such an instance. You wished you should’ve consulted some of your classmates—especially those who have experience in the topic of dating—before coming here yourself. You could try and message them, but you wondered if it would be rude to pull out your phone and ignore Shouto. No, you wouldn’t take the chance.

   “Uh- So how are you, (____)?” he asked, pulling you out of your thoughts.

   “Oh, uhhh—. . .” how does one even speak again? “I’m doing well, I guess. . .?”

   That was lame, (____). Lame.

   “How about you?”

   Shouto was silent, you figured he didn’t hear you so you repeated yourself once again. All the while not looking at his direction. It would be better if you don’t see his face or you’ll turn into a puddle of mess.

   But seconds seem to drag to minutes, and that got you concerned.

   “Sho—“ you cut yourself short, realizing that he was staring at you with a lovestruck expression. He looks at you rather softly, like how one would look at a small pet one happens to cross by while walking. The way Shouto kept his gaze at you made you insecure. Was there something on your face? Hair? Shirt? Oh gods, did you smell?

   You wished that, right then and there, the earth would swallow you whole.

   “Sorry I was just. . .” he faltered in his sentence, gulping down his saliva. Shouto then turned his head to the side, a blush ever so present on his cheeks as well as the tips of his ears.

   "Sorry, you're just—just so cute in that outfit that I can’t help but stare."

   His voice was quiet, barely a whisper but you heard it, ironically, loud and clear. Your hand found its way on your mouth, blood rushing to your cheeks as a result of his compliment.

   “Tha-thank you. . .” you’ve managed to croak out, looking down and fiddling with your nails.

   Just. WOW. You can’t believe it. Never once did Shouto commented on your appearance throughout the duration of your friendship with him. What he did was just. . .just so unexpected from him. You find it hard to believe yourself.

   All these years, you’ve hidden your feelings for him. Trapped it inside a chest and swallowed the key yourself. Him falling for you is comparable to that of pigs flying; it was impossible to happen. Yet both of you sat there, like two dorks, a blushing mess while refusing to make eye contact with one another. For once, maybe this time, you could tell him how you feel.

   “I like you. . .” you voiced out your thoughts. It took you a minute to realize what you've done. You let out a small gasp and directed your attention to Shouto. He was also looking at you, baffled. He went silent, his jaw went slack, and eyes wide open, trying to find the words to reply.

   Oh boi, did you made a mistake?

   “(__—“

   “BECAUSE YOU’RE MY FRIEND!” Your jaw tightened, declaring it all too loudly just in case he rejects you. “I like you because you’ve been a good friend to me.”

   You hope you were doing this right.

   Unbeknownst to you, Shouto felt his heart break into two after hearing your added comment. His shoulders slumped down, sadness clouded his features.

   “I. . .I see. . .” he muttered. “I like you too,” he said after a pregnant pause.

   Your whole face lit up. Now it was your turn to look at him with a baffled expression. There was a twinkle in your eye, is this it? The moment of your life?

   “Because you’re my precious friend.” Shouto plastered a smile on his face.

   Oh. Welp, Mina and Denki tried.

   RIP to both of you, forever pushing the other in the friend zone.

ya’ll want a bakugo version of this? (. ❛ ᴗ ❛.) ✧