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aurorafables · 3 months ago

Text

From the Grey, Chapter 9.

When he entered the room I was in, a wave of happiness washed over me and I immediately smiled like a moonshine. Smelling him when he leaned over to whisper something in my ear gave me goosebumps… And when I saw him changing before or after the show, I couldn't turn away and my face burned when he caught me.

Hey! The summer is almost over, I hope you had a nice one :) Wish you a pleasant read on the new chapter. 😊 Let me know what you think about the story.

Pairing: Noah Sebastian X Nicholas Ruffilo

Warnings: 18+, Explicit, Angst, Past character death, Suicidal thoughts

Tags: M/M, M/F, Slow burn, Childhood friends, Friends to lovers, Family drama, Band fic, Masturbation, Accidental Voyeurism, P in v sex

Word Count: 4.1k

Cross-posted: AO3

The next day was hell. Plus, it was just so hot that while we were drying on the sun in the middle of the fucking desert, I felt like I was burning in the fires of hell. There were so many people everywhere I looked, and the noise just added to my starting headache. I wiped the sweat dripping down my temple with the palm of my hand as Maya continued to drag me around the amusement park. She was about to talk me into the third roller coaster when I decided enough was enough. “This is not a good idea,” I shook my head and stopped next to the line where she wanted to enter. “I don't feel well, I'd rather sit somewhere cool.” “Nick, stop ruining the party!” she said to me disapprovingly, as if I were a child.

“It's hot, I'm thirsty and I want to rest a little. If I go with you, I'll probably throw up my breakfast.” Maya looked at me as if I had already thrown up on my white t-shirt. “Do you want me to go alone?” “I don't want to, but I feel like it's not my decision.” She couldn't believe I was feeling bad, I could see the accusation in her eyes. And I was tired of proving it to her, so I turned around. Maya didn't come with me, she got in line and I felt her disapproving gaze on the back of my head as I walked away. I went into the nearest cafeteria, and after sitting down in the air-conditioned room, I finally breathed a sigh of relief. The highlight of my day was when I saw that they were selling ice cream sundaes, so as soon as the server came over, I ordered a banana sundae and a bottle of water. My phone vibrated on the table so I picked it up and looked at it. I thought Maya wrote, but Folio sent a picture to the band group of them spending the day by the pool with the boys. I smiled when I saw Jolly and Noah shooting Steven with water pistols in the background. I was a little jealous that I couldn't be there, because it was clear how much fun they were having. I too would have liked to splash in the pool in this unbearable heat, but when my ice cream cup arrived, I made peace with the situation a little. Even though I couldn't know what mood Maya would be in.

Barely five minutes passed when two arms wrapped around me from behind and soft lips were pressed against my neck. I took a deep breath, smiled and kissed my girlfriend's arm. "I'm sorry for being so stupid," she said as she walked around me and sat down across from me. “I just… I want to take advantage of the little time I can spend with you alone.” Again the explanation, the fluttering of the eyelashes, the sweet voice and the flirtatious look. I looked down at the remains of my half-melted ice cream and a pained smile spread across my face. “I respect that you can apologize. Really, it's a huge thing, not many people are able to do it,” I looked up at him and looked into her dark eyes. “But it would be even better if we didn't get to the point where an apology was necessary.” I thought this would be the end of this argument and we could both finally enjoy the day, but Maya surprised me. I saw her face darken, her delicate doll features disappear, replaced by bitterness and anger. "You don't know what it's like to sit at home while you're on the other side of the world with the person who's just waiting for the opportunity to take you away from me," she said in a choked voice. I blinked and when I opened my mouth to speak, no sound came out. My throat tightened and I could hear my heart pounding in my ears. "You don't have to say anything," she shook her head. “I don't want to force you into a situation where you have to lie to me.“ Maya opened the small menu with the ice creams and looked up smiling. “I will order a Chocolate Heaven.”

When Maya flew back to Virginia, I chewed on her words for days. After the concert, I took a shower, washed my hair in the venue's bathroom, and then changed into a comfortable sweater and went to the parking lot. The others were playing video games at the front of the bus, and I was lying on my narrow bed in the back, staring at the ceiling, which was uncomfortably close. Sometimes it felt like it was trying to squeeze me. It's unbelievable how much I was blabbing to Noah about how bad his ex was affecting him when something similar happened to me and Maya in the meantime. At some point, we started hurting each other under the guise of love, and I had no idea if there was a way out of this contagion. And if that wasn't complicated enough… there was Noah. We have become as close again as we were during his bad time a few years ago when he needed help. Maybe even closer than in the old days, when there was no one but him and me and the tattoo salon where we worked. I was happy that the distance had turned into the opposite, but at the same time I didn't really know what to do with the emotions that were swirling inside me unstoppably. It felt too good to hug him. If I lost sight of him even for a moment, my gaze was already looking for him everywhere. When he entered the room I was in, a wave of happiness washed over me and I immediately smiled like a moonshine. Smelling him when he leaned over to whisper something in my ear gave me goosebumps… And when I saw him changing before or after the show, I couldn't turn away and my face burned when he caught me.

I couldn't believe that a man could have such a great influence on me. It was unbelievable that my best friend, who I've known for so long, has such an effect on me. I picked up my cell phone, looked for my earphones under the pillow, and did something I'm not really used to. I opened a video sharing site and searched for our band. I started a video from the audience and tried to focus on Noah. I wanted to know what people were seeing from the outside… where the huge interest that was growing around him was coming from. Why the messages and comments he gets are getting more and more starved. I tried to look like I was an outsider, like I didn't know him since he was a child. I also tried to abstract from the fact that I was always attracted to women. When I heard the opening notes of The Death Of Peace Of Mind and the red spotlights started flashing, my fingers moved almost on their own to catch the notes, I had the lyrics in my head, and then I reminded myself that I wasn't the bass player of the band anymore, just a viewer. Then Noah appeared in his faux leather shoes, his fabric jacket, his only glove, and began to sing as if he were a siren from the depths of the endless turquoise ocean.

I made another mistake, thought I could change Thought I could make it out Promises break, need to hear you say You're gonna keep it now

I miss the way you say my name The way you bend, the way you break Your makeup running down your face The way you touch, the way you taste

When the curtains call the time Will we both go home alive? It wasn't hard to realize Love's the death of peace of mind

You're in the walls that I made with crosses and frames Hanging upside down For granted, in vain, I took everything I never cared about

Folio also joined the drums. A few seconds later, we also appeared with Jolly, and Noah continued to do what he does best: charming the audience with his voice and his delicate movements.

I miss the way you say my name The way you bend, the way you break Your makeup running down your face The way you fuck, the way you taste

I don't know if there's a more desirable way to pronounce the word "fuck" than he did. I rewinded to that part three times and felt like a perverted lunatic. I've heard him sing countless times. I've heard this song at least a million times, and Noah swears at least twice as many times. What was different now? Why was this all so…addictive?

You come and go in waves Leaving me in your wake You come and go in waves Swallowing everything

Noah and I finally dove under the waves as my arms got goosebumps and I had to swallow. Noah raised his arms high and clenched his gloved hands into fists as his entire posture tensed as if the ethereal being he had been had suddenly turned into a destroyer. After all… no one claimed sirens were friendly. There was no more need for seduction and magic, he had everyone in his grip, it was time to show his true self.

Are you satisfied? Love's the death of peace of mind Mind, mind

I smiled and mouthed the lyrics, which were much more humming than singing, but I didn't have time to listen to the song any longer, because someone pulled the curtain of my bed and I was so startled that my phone fell on my chest, and then on the bed next to me. Jolly watched with a grin as I grabbed the earpiece and suddenly tried to sit up, which resulted in my forehead hitting the bottom of the bed above me. “Ouch” I pressed my palm on my head. “Did you watch porn?” he asked laughing, as if my misfortune was the funniest thing in the world. Then he noticed my phone next to my thigh, on the screen of which we were still playing, and he looked at me confused. “Everybody has a secret fetish, right?” “What do you want?” I asked, not at all kindly, while stopping the video. “And why did you snap at me like that?” “I said your name, but you didn't react.” Jolly raised his hand defensively. “I wanted to know if you were still alive.” Soon Noah appeared by my bed, followed by Folio. Like they're disaster tourists, seriously…

“What happened?” Noah asked worriedly as he looked over at me. “Do you still have a headache?” “More precisely, again, because I managed to hit my head with your bed,” I answered with a grunt, then I hung my legs and leaned out into the corridor. “I think he will survive,” Folio turned to Jolly and began to pull him back to the game console by the arm. “Noah gives him a healing kiss, he's out of the game anyway,” he added with a grin, before they closed the door separating the bed area behind them. So I didn't have a chance to speak up to them, but I still held up my middle finger towards the closed door. Noah watched the scene with a smile, then sat down next to me. He was wearing the star shorts that he loved so much, but the material had worn out and looked gray instead of black. I remembered that on the previous tour he had to sew it up because it tore, but he pricked his finger once during the process and he was whining as if he was not tattooed from head to toe. I smiled at the memory, to which he turned to me with curious, dark eyes. “What is it?” “It's unbelievable how much you can stick to your old things, “ I poked his thigh with my finger. “You know, you're already a famous rockstar, you could definitely afford a new pair of pants.” "These are my tour shorts," he declared with a comical frown. “Don't make mean comments about it, please. By the way, if I'm already famous, should I change my friends too?” he nudged my arm now. “The whole band,” I nodded with feigned seriousness. “And of course the crew members as well.” “And you're still Steven's favorite?!” Noah asked indignantly. “Or maybe I just have the most innocent look,” I looked at him, blinking slowly, fluttering my eyelashes. The playful grin disappeared from Noah's face and was replaced by a half-hearted smile. “Josh said it's half an hour and we're leaving. I thought you were happy to go out for a cigarette break before bed.”

“So I'm not so angry anymore because Jolly was startling me,” I said while leaning back, turned on the small lamp, and tried to dig out the lighter and the pack of cigarettes from the pocket of my hoodie thrown at the end of the bed. Noah leaned back too, propped up on his forearms, and as I stretched to reach for the stuff, our faces were suddenly very close. I grinned in confusion and tried to retreat to my own space with the cigarette already in hand, but Noah's fingers slid into my damp hair at the back of my head. I felt his hot breath on my skin, while I didn't even dare to breathe. It took a while for me to find him staring at my forehead. He smoothed a strand of hair from my face and I felt his fingers burn. "It's not look dangerous, but a therapeutic kiss never hurts," he said softly, and then looked at me questioningly, as if waiting for permission. When did we need permission to kiss each other innocently? “So what are we waiting for?”

Noah leaned down and I automatically closed my eyes as his soft lips touched my forehead. I felt him smile before he leaned away from me. His eyes glinted mischievously in the half-light. “I lied. The wound actually looked terrible.” “Ahh, I knew that my brain was showing a little too,” I went into the game with feigned seriousness. “Exactly. Completely crushed.” “At least as much as a pumpkin-flavored baby food,” I nodded. Noah burst out laughing and could hardly continue what he was saying: “But the point is that thanks to my healing kiss, everything is fine now.” “I have no idea what would happen to me without you.” Noah shrugged and stood up from the bed, looking back at me for a moment. “You should probably go out for a smoke now, alone, with a mushy brain.” I found my glasses, grabbed my jacket, and followed him as if I were his shadow. "Love's the death of peace of mind" . I have never felt the lyrics so related.

“There's something wrong, isn't it?” Noah asked a few days later in an unexpected moment when we were walking back to the bus with coffees in hand. “I see you chewing on something.” I shook my head in disbelief. How could I have thought I could hide my feelings from him? “I'm considering breaking up with Maya,” I blurted out what I hadn't really admitted even to myself. Noah's jaw tightened and he stared off into the distance. “It's not good for either of us to be apart a lot, and… and anyway, I don't feel the way I used to.” “I thought you solved what you talked about in the summer,” Noah said after a little silence. I wanted to know what he was really thinking, because his face and voice were completely unrecognizable, but he didn't stop, he kept walking on his long legs, and I followed him down the sidewalk. “For a while it seemed so.” “When we were in Vegas, you were like a honeymoon couple.” “Maybe it looked like it from the outside, but in fact…” Noah stopped in front of me and I bumped into his elbow and almost spilled Folio's latte on him. He turned to me and took a deep breath.

“Nick, you and Maya have been together for almost a year now. I'm sure you can discuss it. You shouldn't make such a hasty decision.” I furrowed my brows because I wasn't expecting that. Honestly, I have no idea what, but maybe Noah will be… a little bit happy about the news? I snorted and shook my head. My reaction spoke to both my own naivety and his instructive tone. “Thanks for the support,” I said with a bitter taste in my mouth, then I continued on my way. Noah, of course, took a big step forward. “Hey, I just…” “You just what?!” I stopped and turned towards him. Noah lowered his eyes and thin lines appeared on his forehead. People grunted and avoided us as we stood there with paper coffee cups in our hands. The monotonous sound of the street was broken by the siren of a passing police car as I waited for Noah to continue. “Tell me that I'm not the reason,” he begged, looking into my eyes, when the police car drove away. “Please. The last thing I want is to ruin something good in your life.” I hated that our hands were full of coffee cups when I wanted nothing more than to touch him. It was unbelievable how wrong Maya was about him, and I would have liked to rub it under her nose, but what would be the point? I stepped to the side of one of the buildings to get out of the chaos, and Noah followed me as if we were connected by an invisible cord. He stared at the ground again and nervously shifted from one foot to the other. “There's only one reason for it all: I don't love her anymore, as heartless as it sounds,” I admitted, and I was actually a little ashamed of it, but I knew that's how it works. I simply couldn't find my other half, my soulmate in her. "We're going home next week," Noah said. “I'm just asking you not to break up with her in a message. Maybe you can still talk.” I didn't believe it, but I nodded at Noah's request. He smiled, but I could see a thousand thoughts running through his mind. I wanted to untangle it all and decipher it, but maybe I should have sorted it out in my own head first.

Maya ended up making my plan impossible. She went away with her friend, so we hardly had time to sit down and talk together, even though I spent more than two weeks at home. It's not like I minded being with my parents and siblings, but I was getting more tense every day because I couldn't see her. At one dinner, I even yelled at Danielle because the ketchup she wanted to put on her plate got splattered on my shirt. So I was not surprised that after finishing the meal, she followed me to my room without question, where I slept while I was with them. “What the hell is wrong with you?” she pushed my shoulder. She knelt on the floor and reached under the bed, where retrieved two cans of beer. I looked at her approvingly. “Mom would be freaked out if the little ones found it.” "They didn't find it, and now we're going to drink it so they can't find it later," she winked at me. "I left it here last time I slept in this room," she said, then plopped down on the bed, handed me one of the beers, and pulled the covers over us. I tilted my head to the side and smiled. Pleasant memories of our childhood flashed for a moment. Danielle and I were barely two years apart in age, so it's not surprising how well we got along. I sat down next to her and I also hid under the blanket. I didn't know where to start. I didn't even know how much I wanted to tell her, but I thought it would definitely be good to pour my soul out to an outsider who is still a very important part of my life.

"It's all a bit confusing right now," I began with a frown as I pulled my knees up and rested my chin on them. Danni waited patiently for me to continue. “Maya and I… it's not working between us anymore.” I expected Danielle to be surprised, freaked out, but I was wrong. I turned to the side and waited for her reaction. Her face showed that she was thinking about what she just heard. "I already saw on you that there was a problem in the summer," she finally said with a sigh, explaining why my announcement did not come as a surprise. “I wanted to talk to her, but then she left with his friend, and I don't want to ruin her vacation, so I'll wait.” Danni sighed and rested her head on my shoulder. “I could have guessed, because I know you too well.. But there are situations where you have to put yourself before others, Nicky.” I would have been angry at her for trying to educate me, but her voice was full of concern and care. “I can't break up with her over the phone.” “If there is no other solution, maybe you can do it anyway… but I understand why you say that. Is there anything else?” she looked up at me with big, curious eyes. I opened my mouth, then closed it. After that I tried again because there were few people I trusted and Danielle was one of them. “There is someone… who is completely confusing me.” “Confusing you? What do you mean by that?” “I don't know what this somebody wants. Which is strange, because I know this person well… maybe even better than I know myself.” Danni lifted her head from my shoulder and we locked eyes for long seconds. I was the one who gave up first, brushing my hair back in confusion. Have I revealed too much? How transparent can I be about who I'm talking about?

“Let's approach the problem from the other side,” she said finally. “What do you want?” “Now that's totally…” “Nicholas! Don't say it's unimportant!” she said to me fiercely. “You are not in this world to please others.” She was right, but I still looked at her a little grumpily. I sighed dramatically, then closed my eyes for a moment. “Let go of what others want. Just let it go. Come on, you can do it!” "I want everything this person wants," I said as I opened my eyes. "Even though I don't know what it is," I laughed at how stupid everything I was saying sounded, but Danni still looked at me seriously. "That makes no sense," I muttered in defeat and took a sip of the beer. “Not true. What you say makes a lot of sense,” she declared with a small smile. “And if you think about it, I think you too will realize what this means.” I bit my lip and finally tried to get my head straight. It took Danielle's patience and encouragement to even try to understand the feelings and thoughts accumulated in me. And what I found inside… made me both happy and desperate. “Okay. But how much ahead will I be when I find out? What should I do anyway? There is also the small thing that I don't want to let go of what is between us right now with this person. I'm afraid I might lose everything,” I admitted, poking my fingers nervously.

“You get much further if you admit your feelings to yourself. And what should you do? I think you know exactly that, since you just said it. That's how we started the whole conversation,” Danielle shrugged, then leaned in and planted a kiss on my cheek. “Focus on one problem at a time.” She got up from the bed and headed for the door. “Will you come over to my apartment tomorrow? I have a date tomorrow evening and I need some advice on what to wear.” I rolled my eyes, but of course there was no question that I would be there. I usually couldn't give much advice, but I was happy to give my opinion if she showed me a set, and anyway… We both benefited from each other's company. I needed a little break from my own thoughts, and there couldn't have been a better option than spending the afternoon with Danielle. I froze the other topics for a while.

#bad omens fanfiction #bad omens fic #jolly karlsson #nick folio #nick ruffilo #noah sebastian #bad omens band #nicholas ruffilo #noah sebastian fanfiction #noah sebastian fic

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mariinara · 3 years ago

Note

Hcs for Harry Flynn when he realizes that he is in love? 🥺

Awh, fuck yeah! I love me some cocky Englishman!

Well, him realizing he's absolutely smitten with somebody would just be fucking torture because he goes through the five stages of falling in love:

Step 1) BUTTERFLIES!!

- A.K.A, the "happy anxiety".

-Typically, Harry isn't the most candid of men when it comes to showing how much he loves someone, but, boy, oh boy..

-He fucking hates it when he makes a stupid joke or throws a one-liner and you reward him with one of your genuine, bright laughs. He just watches you throwing your head back, eyes closing and crinkles forming at the corners, and you just.. laugh at something he absentmindedly said.

-Don't get it wrong; it's not like Harry doesn't know he's downright charming‐ He's a hit with the ladies! But, when he feels that flutter in his abdomen? It just feels raw. Different.

-And, jesus, when you're apart? He just can't shake you off. He's good at shrugging feelings off. Always has been. Ignoring them is no problem. But coming back home to a cold, empty bed? That's probably the worst of it. And, God, he wishes you were right there next to him, making jokes and telling him all about the things you love and– oh god – what was he THINKING!? That can't be fucking right. He CAN'T be thinking like that. He just needed a drink, right? Maybe a couple. He'll get over it. It's nothing.

-But he just can't deal. He can't fucking get you out of his head. Every little thing reminds him of you. From the warmth of the sun embracing him through his window to the shower that relieves his aching muscles before he goes to bed.

Step 2) BUILDING!!!

-You and Harry have always been out with your group of friends– The Drake brothers, occasionally Chloe and Nadine if they weren't too busy– but you rarely ever go out alone.

-But that one night you did?

-You had time for each other. All the time in the world, in fact, to really just absorb each other– bask in one another's presence.

-With a couple of beers in your systems, Harry was more comfortable confiding in you when it came to childhood stories. Some anecdotes. Straight up embarrassing first dates.

-He'd point the neck of his beer bottle at you and give you a serious stare before going on to say, "Do not snitch on me with the Drakes."

-The smile and the zipping-your-mouth motion you'd do was enough for him to spill his heart out to you.

-Only then did it seem like you really saw each other in different lights.

-Harry always thought you were pretty and effortlessly funny. You thought he was handsome but quite literally the stereotypical English douchebag.

-He was.

-But peeling away at his layers was the most fascinating thing you've ever experienced.

-And him seeing more to you than just a pretty face? It nearly made him lose his whole mind on the spot, because wow you were a completely different person to him during the moments he shared with you.

-Instead of wanting to sleep with each other meaninglessly, you grew curious and interested in gathering more information about each other.

-Especially Harry, because, Good God, when you start info-dumping on him with those stars in your eyes? It feels so good and he still doesn't know why.

Step 3) ASSIMILATION!!!

-There came a time when Harry grew a pair and finally decided to ask you out on an innocent date. Just the two of you. Someplace nice.

-It went well until your social anxiety kicked in and you decided to take it on home.

-With Harry, card games and alcoholic cocktails were a MUST, so if things escalated quickly, no one would be surprised.

-It surprised both of you that it took that long, actually.

-And after messing up his sheets, sharing hot breaths and having your bodies molding together, tethered with sweat and desire, you were finally sound asleep next to him. Right there. Like he'd always wanted.

-The realization kicked in when he sobered up slightly. And, wonder of wonders, it had him absolutely freaking the fuck out. Zero to a hundred real quick.

-He couldn't fucking believe it, really. Everything he'd been hoping for has fallen into place and it was like he didn't plan that far ahead, and at that moment, looking at how peaceful you were when you slept, hair sprawled on his pillows and face turned away from him, chest calmly rising and falling, he felt like he needed to come up with a plan. Immediately.

-And he realized how much you clicked. On every level. You saw eye-to-eye in almost everything. The essentials, at least.

-And when he lazily plopped back down on his bed to take in a calming breath, he closed his eyes and raked his hands down his face, deciding that he definitely needed to make a special place for you to fit in that mess he called his life.

-It was too real. And while he thought the reality of it would terrify him and push him away, it helped gravitate him towards you. Helped keep him grounded and humble, too.

Step 4) HONESTY!!!!

-Vulnerability.

-That was the word Chloe mentioned to Harry. The "Key Word", she'd emphasized.

-As much as something like that had never crossed his mind, Chloe made it make sense to him.

-If he wants you as the one constant in his life, he needed to be as transparent about it as possible.

-Pretty much, it was a make-it or break-it situation.

-Harry doesn't remember sitting around, staring at a wall for a couple of hours, biting on his nails in anxiety. He hasn't been this way since he'd grown out of his teen years.

-Damn. You kicked him right back to childhood. And it was high time for him to accept that.

-He was a man who set his eyes on the prize and almost always got what he wanted. It was how life was for him. If he reached high enough, he could grab the stars if he wanted.

-But, no, everything he'd been looking for was right there, on earth, sitting at the same dinner table with him for years, and he was stupid enough to only flirt with you.

-And he decided.

-He was going to call you to set up another date. An important one. Made sure to tell you to "doll up" so he could hear you telling him "bite me" with that smile in your voice that amused him so much.

-He took you to his favorite spot. Drove you to the middle of a grove. No one but you two there, sitting in his classic Cadillac, and when he was ready, he turned the engine off and turned to you.

-You didn't know. You had no idea. You were beyond confused. Because what were you doing in the middle of nowhere? He wouldn't answer you. Only told you to wait and see. But he seemed different. His eyes were glossed over, like something else had completely taken over his mind. Thoughts clouded by only one thing.

-All it took for him to stop looking at you with soft, yet contemplative eyes that were practically silently begging you not to fucking break his heart because he, frankly, would not know how to recover afterwards was a gently, concerned call of his name and your touch against his knee.

-He breathed deeply. Rubbed his temples. Mumbled a "Fuck me" under his breath before chuckling. He voiced how he didn't know how to say what he wanted to say, and you reminded him that it was just you. That he could definitely trust you. That you'd be here, no matter what it is.

-You rambled on and on about how you'd always have his back. If he wanted to break up, that's fine too. You weren't even looking at him to see the look on his face when you said that. He only stared at you incredulously, like you were stupid.

-And, as usual, you made it so much easier for him to talk. To love you like he always has.

-You forced him to lurch forward and seal your lips with a kiss to shut you up, his hands cupping the sides of your neck, thumbs caressing your jawline, his hot breath shattering against your cheek when he tilted his head to deepen the kiss to feel you melt in his grasp.

-He loved it most when your shoulders grew less tense and you sighed against his lips and he'd open his eyes slightly to watch as your brows melted into that desperate arch.

-That was when he pulled away, as gently as possible, watching you slowly descend back to earth, eyes fluttering and love-drunk, staring back at him.

-And that's when he inhaled deeply and cupped your cheeks firmly, "You are such a stupid woman, has anyone ever told you that before?"

-He was exasperated. But he was soft with you, smiling gently and swallowing, eyes bouncing between yours.

-"Yeah, I might've heard that before.." You chuckled, baring that beautiful smile of yours, cheeks squishing against his hand.

-And he huffed, not being able to take how much his chest was swelling, and he spelled it out, "Fuck, I am so in love with you.."

-You couldn't believe it. Didn't process it at first. It was every single cog in your brain stopped turning.

-But when it sank in, you almost cried out. In both relief and happiness. He wasn't breaking up with you; but he was in love with you, and you'd be lying if you said you weren't waiting for it.

-With a barrage of kisses that had him making surprised noises, you professed your requited love for the man you began to straddle in the car seat, catching him off guard, but relieving him and letting him hold you close, all the same.

Step 5) STABILITY!!!

-Shit, from that moment on?

-Everything moved so fast.

-Even the two years you'd been dating. You didn't even feel them. Celebrating your second anniversary was the weirdest.

-Especially that you realized you were celebrating it in your shared home, on that faithful fall morning, when summer had just ended and everyone could breathe again.

-Getting to discover each other, share your life, food, laughter, smiles, even the small bickering and childish arguments like "you took the whole cover last night and I had to sleep with my bum out for the air conditioning to eat out" only fortified what you had.

-Contrary to what everyone thought of Harry, he was extremely supportive and he gave the best hugs.

-He was the best person to travel with, go on adventures with, have a picture album with, and drunkily makeout with during a boring Netflix movie, frankly.

-You would literally never could've thought it would end up being so perfect for the two of you. Just two flawed humans making the best out of each other and accepting the bad, since it was nothing you.

-Neither of you tried to change the other. You only made sure to be there when needed. And you worked it out in the end, whatever it was.

-As for Harry?

-He has never felt more fulfilled.

-Nothing in this damn world would tie him down, but he realized that having someone to love and for them to love you back like you two did never tied him down, it only sort of set him free in a way he never knew he needed.

-He might've progressed through the five stages, but that never meant that he didn't go back to step one every time you did a thing he loved.

-He was just a big softie for you!

#harry flynn #harry flynn fluff #uncharted #I LOVE HIM SO MUCH #thank you for sending this in love #YOU ROCK #hc

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bxthharmon · 4 years ago

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Through the Ages || JJ Maybank x Routledge!Reader

Words: 1870

Warnings: Super toxic relationship, underage drinking, smoking, weed

Summary: The development of your relationship with JJ, from when your first met aged eight to adult life, MAJOR ANGST

A/N: okay i know i havent written anything in WEEKS but im watching obx and im obsessed... i really wasn’t expecting this to take such a dark turn?? contact me if you wanna request anything or make friends :)

masterlist

8 years

You’re eight and when you meet John in front of the school to walk home, he has a friend. You know your brother’s friends - most of them, at least - but this boy is new. He is tanned and blonde and tall for his age, and a girl in your class had told you about how he’s always getting into small playground scraps. You eye each other warily on the way home, your brother between you, oblivious to the hostility.

It wasn’t that you didn’t like him - how could you dislike someone you knew nothing about? - it was that John had promised to stop bringing his friends on the way home, because he would end up ignoring you, and now there was a friend walking with them.

When the boy finally leaves, John looks at you as if he forgot you were there. You watch as the boy goes through the front door, catching a glimpse of a dark, cluttered house. You wonder where his parents are.

John coaxes you into a race - who can get home first - and he wins. He always wins. A year older, stronger, faster. Your dad greets you, asking about your days, and laughing as you complain about how John ignored you on the way home.

The next week, the boy walks with you again. His name is JJ, and he’s funny. He gives you a twinkie as a peace offering, saying that he wants to walk with you and John from now on. You shrugged, and took the twinkie, telling him it was for the food, and only the food.

11 years

You’re eleven, in your first year of middle school, and you and John ride home from school everyday on your bikes. On the days when you’re not surfing or hanging out with friends, you cycle home with John, JJ and a new member of the gang, Pope. You and JJ, while still at a twinkie-incited truce, are growing more competitive and show-offish around each other. You race your bikes to his, and if you stop at the corner store on the way home, you see who can chug their cola faster. John fights with you when you get home because they’re “his friends, not yours!”

You have your own friends, and sometimes you cross with your brother’s friends in town, sass thrown between the groups like a tennis rally, the twinkie-truce fading into the past. You can’t stand the tall blonde surfer, but you can’t wait to argue with him on your way home from school.

14 years

You’re fourteen, and after a year long break from your brother’s friends, you’re, once again, at the same school. You’ve changed, filled out more over the last year, puberty having hit you like a tonne of bricks since you last hung out. The three pogues now have one female friend, Kiara, and you become fast friends. You can tell your brother has a thing for her, and you wonder if he’ll ever bring her home to meet your dad.

JJ sees you differently now. You seem less like the eight year old he met six years ago, but you’re still very much yourself. He pulls your ponytail as you pass him in the hallways at school, and you flip him off in return. You sometimes go to the same parties, and your drinking races have switched from cola to beer. John hates you being at parties, claiming your too young to drink or party, as if he wasn’t the year before. John can see how JJ looks at you, and he hates it. He hates seeing how guys look at you now, how they flirt, hit on and catcall his baby sister. He also hates how in your efforts to compete with JJ, you get into fights and run your mouth. He hates how JJ shows off around you, and vice versa.

Despite his frustrations with JJ, he’s also the only guy who’ll stand up for you when you or John can’t do it yourselves. He hopes you don’t grow up too quickly, and he knows that his friends will always have your back, so he’s not worried.

15 years

You’re fifteen, and you go to a kegger for the first time. You get drunk quickly, flirting with too many guys and giggling at every little thing. You share a blunt with JJ, and the pair of you practically piss yourselves with laughter when John tries to reprimand you. The night is fun, and you can’t wait for the next one.

The next one is much worse. You’re one or two drinks in when you see JJ flirting with a touron. In retrospect, that’s probably when you first noticed your feelings, but at the time you have no idea why you’re so angry about it. By the end of the night, you’ve had half a bottle of vodka and two spliffs, and you’re way far gone. You might even have blacked out - but all you remember is the pure rage, and how you spent ten minutes throwing up by the front porch when you got home.

You saw JJ the next day, and you’re both hungover. He checks on you, and neither of you really understand why you’re so cold towards him, but he leaves pretty quickly.

You cry that night.

16 years

You’re sixteen, and your dad is missing. You lost all your friends when you fell into a depression after it. Nine months later, and you feel happy again. You’re the final member of pogue crew, and you spend the summer surfing and swimming and settle into the routine of summer. You surf first thing in the morning, as dawn breaks, often with JJ, competing over who’s a better surfer (he is). You spend your afternoons on the HMS Pogue, competing with JJ over who’s the better swimmer (you are). The group of you drink and smoke and live your best lives. On the days where you’re not on the boat, you work.

You know you love JJ, and you flirt constantly. He kisses you at a kegger, barely twenty minutes before he pulls the gun on Topper. You have your first serious argument that night, and it ends with him kissing you.

You wear your heart on your sleeve, and assure him you love him. He doesn’t say it back, but he shows it. You learn about his Dad and his work and how he learnt to surf. You sneak around, and, miraculously, don’t get caught.

16 ½ years

You’re sixteen and a half when John and Sarah go missing. Kie and Pope try to help, but you don’t pay them any attention. You and JJ struggle, with yourselves, each other, and your relationship. You’re on the rocks, you’re up against the wall. You don’t think you’ll last, and you fight constantly.

Your relationship is toxic, taking your own angers out on each other, fighting and screaming in each others faces only to make up for a honeymoon period that lasts a week, max, and the cycle repeats. You’re both miserable.

17 years

You’re seventeen, and he breaks up with you. You were too alike - both too impulsive, angry, broken for it to ever work. You apply to out-of state colleges, hoping to escape the islands you used to love.

You wait for an acceptance letter, and watch as the people you call family try to rebuild their lives.

18 years

You’re eighteen, and you get the letter. UCLA, on the other side of the country. You say your goodbyes to Kie and Pope, and eventually, JJ.

He looks broken, when you tell him. He asks you what you’d do if John came back and you weren’t around, but you had resigned yourself to John’s death long ago. You fight one last time. You fuck one last time. You love one last time.

You wonder if you’ll ever return.

22 years

You’re twenty two, and you’ve got a degree. You fly home the day after graduation, and everything has changed.

Kie runs the Wreck now, and she gives you a free meal and you talk for hours when you first arrive. She invited you to her and Pope’s place.

They have a nice place. Not on Figure Eight, but on that side of the island - Pope’s got a high earning job in marine biology research. They’re happy.

You smoke a blunt with Pope, for old time’s sake. He tells you to see JJ, and gives you a slip of paper with the address. You don’t know if you want to throw it into the ocean or treasure it forever. You do neither.

It takes you a week to psych yourself up to it, and then you knock on his door.

His house is small, but not tiny, not like his childhood home. He welcomes you in, a light in his eyes you hadn’t seen in years. He sits you down at the dinner table, and you take in the pictures on the mantel shelf, and the mementos stuck to the fridge.

You see the ring on his finger.

You enter a state of stasis. You were sure he was it for you, but the circumstances were wrong and you were too immature. Right person, wrong time, or something along those lines. No, apparently not. He moved on, he built a life without you, a happier, healthier life.

His wife is lovely, everything you’re not. She’s patient and kind and soft-spoken, the opposite to him, bringing balance. She stabilises him, and gives him what he needs.

You think of how you would argue with him, the screaming, shouting, throwing plates and vases. Your love was so naive, but so passionate. Everything that happened while you were together, everything that went wrong, happened because your tempers and stubborn natures and impulsivity was destructive.

You fly back to California a week later.

You sit on the plane and reminisce. The night you and JJ broke up, the house got wrecked. You had been standing inches apart, but screaming at the top of your lungs. You had lost your temper and overturned a table, smashing all the crockery left on it. He had thrown a vase at the wall, and you had fought until your voices broke and you were too tired and sore to keep throwing shit at walls and each other. You had sat next to each other, leaning on the wall by the front door, an uncharacteristic calm washing over you.

You had looked at him, heart aching, and told him that you needed to split up. He had nodded, and eventually, the pair of you had drifted off to sleep, dreaming of a world where you could be together without all the hate in the way.

When you woke up in the morning, he was gone, but the mess had stayed. You had had to tiptoe over thousands of shards of broken crockery and glass to get to your room, a reminder of how you were destined to self-destruct.

You watched out the window as the plane landed, and vowed never to return again.

Outer Banks was no longer your home.

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no6secretsanta · 4 years ago

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No.6 - Children of the Sea

Happy Holidays and an awesome New Year, @aoicanvas! I really hope you enjoy this fic! It’s me, @glorifiedscapegoat, and I’m really excited to share this with you. The concept I had kept giving me ideas, so I found myself just writing and writing for a while, and before I knew it the word count was as high as it was. I hope that’s all right!

⁂

“The sea, once it casts its spell, holds one in its net of wonder forever.” — Jacques Cousteau

“Here’s your turbo,” Safu declared, sitting down opposite Shion at the booth. They were at their favorite café on the other side of Kronos, perched at one of the large window-seats overlooking the bay.

It was one of Shion’s favorite places, simply for its amazing view of the ocean. The sapphire blue waves lapped against the edge of the pier, the shush-shush sound of the ocean sending comforting prickles down his spine. During the early morning hours, the sunlight glistened across the smooth surface, the pale blue sky streaked with pale pinks and vibrant oranges.

“Oh,” Shion said in surprise as Safu slid the green foam cup across the table toward him. “Thank you. I ordered a decaf, though.”

“I canceled it. You looked like you could use the caffeine.”

Shion exhaled through his nose, knowing it wouldn’t do him any good to argue. He thanked Safu, popped back the heat-saver from the plastic cover, then took a hesitant sip of the coffee. Safu had doused it with enough creamer and granulated sugar to keep the bitter bite of the espresso from stinging his tongue, but Shion could still feel the caffeine buzzing through him.

“Speaking of caffeine,” Safu said, taking a sip of her own coffee. Having been friends for as long as they had, Shion knew that Safu took her coffee as black as the night sky in the middle of the city, devoid of stars due to the constant streaks of artificial lighting. Shion’s nose wrinkled just thinking about it. He’d never been able to get past the bitterness of the coffee beans. “You might want to bring one to go once you finish that one. Don’t you have the new wave of summer interns starting today?”

Shion exhaled, all traces of his previous good mood fluttering out the door. “Don’t remind me.”

Summers were a difficult time for the West Block Aquarium and, more importantly, its staff. Kronos was a buzzing tourist town, and the summer months brought about college students, wealthy benefactors, and worst of all, summer interns.

“Poor thing,” Safu remarked, taking another sip of her coffee. “Well, maybe it won’t be so bad. Who knows? The interns this year could be… delightful.”

They both shuddered in unison. Shion and Safu had been friends since they were little—Grade 1, to be exact, after Safu got in trouble for punching two boys in the face who called Shion “girly” for his pretty white hair—and both had gone on to pursue careers where interns came and went through a constant revolving door.

Though Shion had obtained full-time employment as a pseudo marine biologist at the West Block Aquarium, Safu had went on to pursue a medical degree working alongside children. Her talent rested with biology (of the mammalian variety, not the aquatic), but despite the clear differences in their professions, Shion and Safu shared one similar headache: summer interns.

“So, how’s your mom doing?” Safu asked.

“She’s all right,” Shion replied. “Just getting ready for the summer rush. Tourists and all that.”

“She’s a saint.” Safu lifted her coffee cup with a solemn expression. “I don’t know how I would have gotten through my undergraduate without the croissants she sent in her care packages.”

Shion huffed out a laugh and took another sip of his coffee. He could already feel the caffeine working its way through his veins.

He allowed a bit of silence to fall around him, the only reprieve he’d get today. As soon as he left for work in an hour, his day would be consumed with learning the group dynamic in this summer’s early wave of interns, squeezing work in between answering questions for the flood of customers arriving for the first day of the summer season, and banging his head against the glass walls of the tanks he was in charge of maintaining.

Shion felt something soft rest on top of his head. He glanced up to see Safu tapping her fingers against his temple, softly going, “pomf” to herself.

He leaned back out of reach, fighting back a smile. “What are you doing?”

“Trying to figure out where I can purchase a brush strong enough to tame that mop of yours.” Safu took her hand back, flashing a smile. “It’s such a pretty color, and it’s a shame it just sticks up all over the place.”

“Well, it’s not my fault. I spend most of the time in the water. It’s hard to find a shampoo that can handle all that water damage.”

“Damage?” Safu reached out again and patted Shion on the top of the head. “This isn’t damage. You are the only person alive who can spend seventy-five percent of their life in water and come out with hair this soft.”

“Stop it,” Shion said, but it was light-hearted. His hair had always been a point of conflict in his life. Since the moment he was born—sporting snowy hair and bright ruby eyes—Shion had always fought off rude stares and invasive questions. His mother had helped him construct several convincing lies to help discourage people from continuing to pester him. These lies had ranged from childhood illness in Grades 1 through 4, and then expensive dye jobs during his time as a teenager. Shion had never liked the thought of dyeing his hair, but lying to folks that his bizarre hair and eye color were the results of a bottle of Manic Panic and colored contacts kept them from prying and discovering the truth.

Though, even if Shion did break down and tell people the truth—that his father was a merperson who’d seduced his human mother years ago before splitting without a trace, leaving her with a hybrid son whose hair and eyes and ability to breathe underwater were his only connection to his heritage—he doubted anyone would ever believe him.

Except for Safu.

When Shion finally broke down and told Safu the truth, she’d taken the information with a smile. Coming to terms that there were other creatures dwelling in her world came simply. Safu remarked that new species were being discovered all the time. Of course it made sense that there could be merpeople. The ocean hadn’t been completely explored, after all.

Sometimes Shion wondered why a relationship with Safu had never occurred to him. She was a beautiful girl, and always had been; petite with straight brown hair that fell to her shoulders (she’d let it grow out in recent years), dark eyes that saw everything, and a friendly smile that invited people to let their guard down. More than that, Safu was amazingly kind… to the people she liked. She never judged anyone unless they gave her a reason to assume they were judging her, and she was fiercely protective of her friends.

When they were teenagers, Safu had expressed feelings for Shion that he hadn’t been able to reciprocate. Maybe it was because Safu was accustomed to rejection, or maybe it was because she was just a wonderful, loving person, but Shion’s gentle apology in his inability to return her feelings hadn’t stopped her from remaining his best friend.

And when Shion came staggering home one night and called her, squealing with excitement that he’d found someone like him—someone from the sea—Safu had squealed and gushed with him.

Shion shook the thought away before he could dwell on it. Remembering the summers he spent between the ages of sixteen and nineteen were painful for him. He’d formed a romance with a boy from the sea, a boy Shion could picture himself spending the rest of his life with, and then, without explanation or reason, he’d simply vanished into thin air. Zip. Poof. Gone. As if he’d never been there in the first place.

"Hey, Shion. Earth to Shion.”

He looked up. “Huh?”

Safu took one look at his face, and instantly, she knew. “Thinking about Nezumi again?”

Hearing his name sent a knife through Shion’s heart. “No,” he said, but the lie was pointless. He’d never been any good at telling lies to Safu.

Safu clicked her tongue. When Nezumi stopped showing up at the beach, Safu had been furious. She ranted and raved for months about him, furious that he could break Shion’s heart like that. When the next summer came and he still didn’t show up, Safu’s anger cooled into concern. When another year passed, she and Shion mutually agreed that something awful must have happened to Nezumi and tried to mourn.

“Do you want to talk about it,” she said gently, “or change the subject?”

“Change the subject, please.”

“Of course.” Safu took a deep breath, composing her thoughts, and then she said, somewhat loudly, “Well, it won’t be so bad, right? How long do summer internships last at the aquarium, again?”

“Three months,” Shion said, grateful for the change in topic. He took all the pent-up feelings he still had toward Nezumi, even now, and shoved them to the side. If they festered there and turned into a cancerous tumor, he’d deal with it when that time came.

“Ugh, lucky. Our internships last six months.”

“Aren’t all of your interns medical students, though?” Shion stole a brief glance out the window. He wondered if he would catch a familiar flash of black and silver, and then promptly scolded himself for daring to hope.

“Yes, and most of them are lovely. But then you have those ones.” Safu rolled her eyes, and Shion instantly knew which ones she meant.

The children of wealthy parents whose only major contribution to the field was that they spent a lot of money and therefore expected that their children could sail through the program without any effort. Shion had dealt with plenty of those types, too, working at the aquarium. Wealthy donors often assumed a nice dosage of cash would land their children a high-paying, low-effort job once they finished their degree program. Shion lost count of the number of arguments he and other coworkers had had with interns whose ultimate defense was the phrase: “Do you have any idea who my parents are?”

"Maybe this year will be different,” Shion said, not at all confident. He’d been working full-time at the West Block Aquarium for two years, since he turned twenty-two, and not once had a summer internship term been “different”.

“It could be,” Safu replied solemnly. She and Shion shared a mutual nod, and then smiled.

⁂

With traffic, it was a forty-minute drive across downtown Kronos, and another three minutes to find a halfway decent parking space in front of the West Block Aquarium that didn’t result in Shion needing to sprint across the parking lot like a lunatic in order to clock in on time.

Shion smoothed his hands through his hair, pressing the tangled locks down against his skull. They bounced back up as he dropped his hands to his sides, and he gave up trying to look presentable.

His white hair, no matter how smooth or messy it was, always attracted attention from the college interns the aquarium employed. Most of them thankfully assumed it was just a dye job—an expensive, extremely thorough dye job, but a dye job nonetheless—but it elicited more than a few stares every year.

Shion scanned his ID badge at the employee entrance and ducked inside. He let the heavy metal door bang shut behind him, sighing as he stepped into the foyer of the employee lounge, cooled by the strong air conditioning unit Rikiga had installed. He tossed his empty coffee cup into the trash can, briefly considering using the Keurig to make himself another cup.

"Hey, Shion.”

Shion turned and spotted his coworker, Yamase, sitting at one of the little brown tables. He clutched a travel mug of tea—Yamase never liked drinking coffee, remarking that no matter how much creamer and sugar he doused it with, he could still taste the “disgusting bean water”—and he looked utterly exhausted.

Shion’s stomach plummeted. “Interns?”

“Interns,” Yamase agreed bitterly.

Shion huffed out a breath and went to the Keurig. “Please tell me there’s at least a few halfway decent ones.”

He prided himself on being an optimist—it was one of his best qualities, according to his mom, Safu, and everyone else he’d ever talked to, and Shion was pretty certain it was the primary reason Rikiga had given him the job in the first place—but something about summer interns made even someone with Shion’s extensive threshold for patience eager for the workday to end.

“Rikiga’s already deep into his cup,” Yamase explained, rolling his eyes. “Big surprise. Anyway, I’ve only met the first few, and supposedly, we’ve got two others starting tomorrow.”

“So, what exactly are we dealing with?” Shion popped a K-cup into the machine and hit brew. He shoved a paper cup beneath the dispenser and listened to the whir of the machine as the water heated up.

Yamase took a deep sip of his tea. “Well, there’s a girl who’s just started her second year at the community college who thinks she wants to go into marine biology. Kudos and all that, but she’s already expecting that we’ll hire her once she graduates since she’s interning with us.”

“Oh, dear.”

“Yeah,” Yamase groaned. “You know how that’s gonna go. I wonder if we’ll have the parents down here again. You remember that?”

Shion shuddered. “How could I forget?” He could still hear the shrill sound of the woman’s voice as she shrieked at Rikiga in the lobby about why he’d rejected her daughter’s application for full-time employment after she’d “slaved away all summer at this dirty, stinking place, and for what?” Never mind that Shion had found her in the employee lounge multiple times during her shift, sneaking alcohol and trying to steal merchandise from the gift shop when she thought no one was looking.

“Maybe she’ll be a good fit,” Shion said, a little too hopefully.

“She bounces when she talks,” Yamase said drily.

"Excuse me?”

“Like full on hops on her heels.” Yamase gave a small demonstration, bouncing twice in his chair before widening his eyes and giving Shion a blank, dead stare. “She also talks like this.” He raised his voice up at the end, almost as if he were asking a question. “With an upward inflection at the end of it. As if she has no idea what she’s doing here.”

“That is so creepy,” Shion shuddered. “Please stop.”

“You think that’s creepy. Try listening to her do it.” Yamase sighed and took a deep gulp from his travel mug. “The lights are definitely on, but no one’s been home for years.”

Shion pinched the bridge of his nose. Wonderful. Just what the aquarium needed. He plucked his cup from the Keurig and dumped a healthy heaping of sugar and creamer packets into the cup.

“The new hire for the gift shop’s hot, though,” Yamase said.

Shion raised an eyebrow. “Oh?”

“Don’t worry—he’s our age,” Yamase assured. “I checked. Not in college, as far as I can tell. Just looking for some extra cash at a part-time job or something. And you know I’m not really into guys, but dang, something about this guy just… I don’t know. Just wait until you see him.” Yamase exhaled. “It’s his eyes, man.”

Shion huffed out a laugh and took a sip of his coffee. After the turbo Safu had ordered for him, it felt watered down and weak, but Shion savored the buzz of caffeine.

“He must be something, then,” Shion said, “if you’ve noticed him.”

“You have no idea. You’re single, right? Maybe you have a shot.”

Shion clicked his tongue. “You sound like Safu.”

"Well, maybe you should start listening to us!” Yamase tipped his head back and finished off the last of his tea. “Maybe we should strong-arm your mother into it. I’m sure that’d make you start looking.”

Shion couldn’t help but smile. He’d tried dating during his undergraduate, and it hadn’t worked. All the men he went out with made snide comments about his hair— “Do the carpets match the drapes? Ha ha, just kidding. Unless…?”—or thought his fascination with sea life bordered on obsessive. Shion wouldn’t have felt comfortable letting them know the truth: that his “obsession” with sea life stemmed from the fact that he came from the same place.

And besides, none of them had made him feel the way Nezumi had.

Not only did Nezumi come from the ocean—Shion could picture the black and blue scales on his long, elegant tail perfectly, like obsidian and sapphires, and his beautiful silver eyes, like the edge of a blade in the sunlight—he never thought Shion’s ramblings were bizarre. He laughed at him, sure, but it was good-natured and beautiful, like the chiming of bells. He could swim faster and deeper than Shion, and he brought him pretty shells and oysters containing pearls from the bottom of the sea where Shion couldn’t swim without raising more than a few eyebrows.

During their summer interactions as teenagers, Shion had never been able to convince Nezumi to come onto the shore. He knew it was possible—his own father had done it years ago—but whenever he asked, Nezumi quickly changed the subject.

Shion’s heart ached, his eyes stinging. The last time he saw Nezumi, they had been eighteen years old. He could still feel the brush of Nezumi’s lips against his own, tasting of saltwater. Shion could have kissed him forever.

Shion quickly shook the thoughts away. He couldn’t afford to get caught up on thoughts of Nezumi anymore. He needed to focus on the new interns and aquarium employees.

Yamase rose and rinsed his travel mug in the sink. The dark blue of his janitor’s uniform stood out against the stark gray walls of the employee lounge. “Well, count yourself lucky you don’t have to deal with most of the interns. You spend most of your time in Number Six. I’m the one who’s gotta spend the whole day trapped in the gift shop.”

Shion cracked a smile. Number Six was the main tank in the direct center of the aquarium, the first major exhibit available as soon as customers walked through the door. Shion’s primary job was to jump into the tank every couple of hours, toss smelt and other dead things at the bigger fish, ensure that the pH levels were safe, and make sure the sand tigers didn’t bully the nurse sharks. Shion never would have pegged sharks to have some weird social hierarchy, but it was there. He’d lost count of the times he’d had to chase away the sand tiger with the blunt snout (who he’d affectionally nicknamed Snubby) from the large nurse shark (Nurse Anne) with the chunk bitten out of her dorsal fin.

Number Six was also known to Yamase and the other janitors as the BFT: the Big Fucking Tank. Shion didn’t like calling it that, but he supposed when the janitors spent most of their shift spraying Windex on the glass and wiping away fingerprints and saliva—seriously, did little kids lick everything?—it made sense they would come to hate it.

The majority of the interns and summer hires started out as cashiers in the gift shop. During his dips in Number Six, Shion could spot the little alcove through the glass, watching as the interns in their bright green tee-shirts displaying the West Block Aquarium logo fumbled through each transaction.

“I wonder if the wannabee marine biologist will try to jump in the tank with you,” Yamase said, eyeing Shion in his periphery. “She doesn’t seem thrilled about the idea of starting as a cashier.”

“They all start out as cashiers,” Shion replied, taking another sip of his coffee. It had already begun to go cold. “She shouldn’t expect special treatment. Retail work can be humbling.”

"Is it twisted that I love watching the rich kids get screamed at by entitled jerks?” Yamase’s dark eyes flashed as he turned to face Shion. “Like, I know retail’s rough and all, but some of these kids are so fucking bratty, and seeing the looks on their faces when they realize that no one cares about how much money they have just warms my heart.”

Shion shook his head. “You’re awful,” he said, but he couldn’t help the smile that spread across his face.

“Yup, and you’re equally as awful. I know you enjoy it, too.” Yamase put his travel mug back into the cupboard where the rest of the employees kept their spare mugs. “Well, I need to get out there and make sure the place is ready for opening. Finish up your coffee. You’re gonna need it. You know they’re probably gonna ask about the hair.”

“And the eyes,” Shion sighed. “They always do.”

“You could dye it.”

“Safu would literally kill me.”

Yamase rolled his eyes. “She might, but wouldn’t it be better than dealing with another wave of ‘wait, they let marine biologists dye their hair? Can you wear contacts underwater? Duuuuude.’”

Shion fought back a shudder. Too many times he’d had to deflect questions surrounding his odd hair color and the piercing shade of his irises. Albinism was a rare trait in humans, and Shion’s skin wasn’t nearly pale enough to pass for it. The odd red marking on his skin—scaled, if people looked close enough, which Shion never let anyone do—definitely shattered the illusion. Shion had hoped people would have a bit of common decency and not ask such invasive questions, but he was often disappointed. Almost every summer, someone cornered him in the break room and demanded to know why his hair was so white, what made his eyes red, how many bleaches did it take to achieve that color, did people think he was less professional because he looked like he was cosplaying all the time?

Sometimes Shion wondered if he should joke that he was a merman. Well, half a merman, anyway.

As soon as the thought crossed his mind, he could hear Nezumi’s voice snap, “Child of the Sea! Not merman. That’s a human word.” His mood instantly darkened, and Shion shook his head.

“Child of the Sea” was the preferred term in the underwater community, or so Shion had been told. Only human beings used words like “mermaid” and “merman”. Despite the wave of sorrow that Shion felt whenever the thought of Nezumi came rushing back, he couldn’t help the small flicker of warmth that kindled itself in his heart.

“Well,” Yamase sighed. “I’m heading back. Rip the Band-Aid off.”

“All right.”

“See you in a few,” Yamase replied with a wave, ducking out into the hallway. “Good luck!”

Shion exhaled and took another sip of his cool coffee. Summer interns. At least he had a reprieve from them when he dove into the tank. He took a few moments to sip his coffee, reveling in the silence he knew would soon be broken. Ah, well. It was only eight-thirty in the morning. Seven o’clock would come soon enough.

⁂

Shion finished his coffee, pulled on his white lab coat, and trotted out to the main foyer. The West Block Aquarium opened at ten o’clock on the dot—despite his active drinking and usual forgetfulness, Rikiga was oddly punctual—and the first hour would be spent preparing for the shift and greeting the interns and summer help.

Shion plastered a big smile on his face and tried to be positive. Summer interns were frustrating, but he had to remember that he was once in their shoes, too. Several years ago, he’d been a bright-eyed intern working at this same aquarium. Ignoring his obvious one-up over the other interns—primarily the fact that he could breathe underwater (secretly, of course) and understood ocean life in a way that astounded his professors and quickly moved him through his undergraduate degree with flying colors—he’d enjoyed working alongside other interns.

As he hurried toward the main foyer, stationed direction in front of Number Six, he couldn’t help but marvel at the decorations welcoming the new wave of summer customers. Bright plastic statues of sea lions and talking starfish lined the floors, gesturing toward the hallways and announcing exhibits. Neat signs with fun facts and information about the exhibit inhabitants sat in front of glass cages, and the sound of rushing water sounded like music to Shion’s ears.

Shion trotted almost everywhere. His colleagues joked that he was always in a hurry. Shion didn’t know if it was because he moved faster in the water than on land, even without the function of a tail, but he couldn’t help it. He jogged everywhere he went: meetings, feedings, the break room. Sometimes he worried he looked ridiculous—a young man in a white lab coat with obviously dyed hair (ha) jogging like a toddler through the aquarium—but if he did, no one commented one way or the other about it.

The four-story tank, illuminated with bright LED lights at the base and on each conjoining floor, wrapping upward in a slanted ramp like a makeshift spiral staircase, rose into view as Shion stepped out into the main exhibit. The brightly-colored tropical fish swam lazily through the teal water, their dark eyes staring blankly out at Shion as he approached the two individuals standing near the door, awaiting his arrival.

Shion swallowed the wave of frustration that surged inside him, caging it behind his clenched teeth as he kept the smile plastered on his face His colleagues had left him to deal with the new interns on his own.

Ha ha, funny.

As he approached the two interns—a young woman with vibrant pink hair (clearly a dye job, and a rather inexpensive one, at that, if the blond roots at the top were any indication) and a young man with dark hair yanked back into a ponytail, both dressed in the bright green West Block Aquarium staff shirt—the girl broke away from the tank and came sprinting up toward Shion.

“Oh, hi!” she shrieked, her voice piercing through the vacant walls of the aquarium. It carried, so sharp and sudden that Shion felt as if a knife had been drilled into his ear.

He flinched—the other intern did, too—and jerked to a halt.

“You must be Shion, right? Mr. Rikiga mentioned you’d be stopping by!” The girl clapped her hands, as if the idea of meeting Shion was too exciting to be contained inside her little body. “I’m so excited to be working with you! My name’s Miyamoto Emi, but my friends call me Emi-chan. Oh, darn, can I call you Shion, or is that too informal? Gosh, this is so exciting!”

Shion gawked down at the girl, unsure of what to say. She looked about twenty years old, short in a way that was noticeable even to someone like Shion. He wasn’t very tall, himself—he rose to a respectable five-feet-seven-inches—and this girl rose to the middle of his chest. She tipped her head back to look into his face, her dark brown eyes wide with excitement, and yep, there was the bouncing Yamase had mentioned. With each syllable that left her mouth, she rose an inch off the ground and then came down hard on her heels. She wore a pair of black flip-flops (definitely not regulation, according to the employee handbook, which Rikiga definitely didn’t enforce), and the rubber soles thumped rhythmically on the solid tile floor.

“Mr. Rikiga said you were a marine biologist,” Emi went on. “That must be so exciting. I’ve wanted to be a marine biologist since I was a little girl. I’ve always loved turtles, and I just wanna be able to work with them. Oh, wow!” Her eyes widened further—how was that possible?—and she stared at Shion’s white hair.

His stomach plummeted.

“Your hair—” she said, a shriek building in her throat. Shion could see it. Her shoulders quaked beneath the force of it, her whole body unable to contain the sheer joy that came from seeing Shion’s pristine white hair coupled with his lab coat. “Where do you get your hair done? Do you do it yourself? My friend Mariko did my hair”—she grabbed a lock of her own pink hair and shoved it toward Shion—“but it doesn’t look nearly as good as yours does!”

“Um, thank you.” Shion gave her a wobbly smile. This was a new development. Sometimes the interns were cold and stand-offish, and sometimes they were uninterested in the position.

This, however? This was new.

Shion felt his head spinning as he tried to focus on the girl bouncing in front of him. He glanced over her shoulder, seeking out the second intern. The young man was staring at Emi as if she’d just exploded and scattered across the foyer in an array of glitter. His hair framed his face, long and pulled into a high ponytail. He had a narrow, pale face, and Shion wondered briefly if this was the young man Yamase had mentioned back in the break room. He squinted over Emi’s head—where did she get the energy to keep bouncing like this?—examining the young man’s face to see what about him Yamase had been so taken by.

The young man was tall and thin, his hair a dark shade of black that Shion suspected would look blue in certain lighting. Even with the fluorescent bulbs in the aquarium itself, he could pick out the few pale gray strands and blue bits that made the young man’s hair beautiful rather than plain. His skin was far too pale for the lime-green of the staff shirt, and it made him look sickly and washed out.

He lifted his head to give Shion a look that clearly read ‘Poor you’, and Shion managed to get a good look at his eyes.

It’s his eyes, man.

Two bright silver coins stared back at Shion, narrowed in a way that Shion recognized as someone trying to figure out where they recognized someone from. His stomach twisted. Flecks of blue and white danced behind a pale of solid silver glass, shifting depending on his mood. When he was happy, they were vibrant and luminous. When he was aggravated, they darkened like the sky over a stormy sea. Shion had seen them in almost every variant, and he stood there, dumbstruck, as the young man stared into his face, too—taking in his bright red irises, the red marking wrapped around his throat, and his vibrant white hair—and finally, finally recognized him.

His jaw dropped. It was an almost comical look, but he managed to make it look beautiful. He unfolded his arms from across his chest, letting them fall limply at his sides.

“Shion?” he said.

His voice. His voice. Shion could still hear it in his memories. The peals of laughter, the shouts whenever they argued, the gentle songs he sang. All of it came flooding back in a crushing wave that made Shion feel as if he were drowning. His lungs were designed to pull oxygen both on land and beneath the surface. Shion would never know how it felt to drown in earnest—but standing across from Nezumi, the boy he’d fallen in love with in his youth, the boy who’d claimed his first kiss, the boy who’d left one day and never come back, Shion wondered if this was how it felt to have all the air knocked out of him once and for all.

Emi’s bright smile never left her face, but her eyes widened. “Oh, my gosh. Do you know two each other?” She looked over her shoulder at the young man—at Nezumi—and clapped her hands. “That’s so exciting!”

“Um,” Shion said, taking a trembling step backward. The room around him crushed inward, the air tight and thick. He swallowed once, finding it difficult to breathe. “Yes, um…”

Nezumi’s shocked expression shifted into concern, and Shion felt himself edging toward a full-on breakdown. Shards of glass punched through his stomach, heat and pain radiating through each pulse point in his body until it was all he could feel. He couldn’t sense the solid tiles beneath his feet or the air conditioner churning above his head. His vision tunneled, blocking out everything except the young man standing in front of him—standing! On legs!—in his ridiculous staff tee shirt and his khaki pants, looking every bit like the beautiful, otherworldly creature he was once he stepped into the ocean.

“Ah, w-well,” Shion managed, the words heavy as stones on his tongue. “W-welcome to the West Block Aquarium. So nice to be working with you both. Um, I have to, ah, feed the fish in the BFT now. Ah, I mean, in Number Six. The big tank behind you. Yup, that’s Number Six. I’m sure Mr. Rikiga will tell you all about it as part of the tour.”

“Shion,” Nezumi said, and his voice was equally as wobbly. He took a step forward, and panic surged through Shion’s body like an injection of ice water.

”Goodbye!” Shion spun on his heel and fled back toward the break room. There was an elevator in the far back, reserved for employee usage and available for disabled customers, and if Shion input the code into the panel, it would go to the floor linking to the observatory room for Number Six. It wasn’t available to the public, reserved for marine biologists like Shion to record the pH balances of the tank and the weights of each animal.

His shoes smacked against the tile as he hurried toward the hallway leading to the elevator. The twisting halls that stretched past the rooms dedicated to shells and the horseshoe crab touch tank—popular with the children and high school customers—and Shion rounded them quickly, searching desperately for the signs leading to the elevator.

“Shion, wait!”

Shion whirled and saw Nezumi hurrying up the ramp toward him. He stumbled a bit as he ran, as if he’d been sitting down for a long time and his legs hadn’t quite adjusted to movement. The fluorescent lights caught against the strands of his hair, and the lime green of the staff shirt clashed horribly with his khaki pants and pale skin.

He looked ridiculous. He looked amazing. He looked—

Alive.

“You’re alive,” Shion said, his voice sounding stupid in his ears.

Nezumi stumbled to a stop a few steps in front of him. He was wearing heavy black combat boots (completely against regulation, since the soles weren’t non-marking), and one pant leg of his cargo pants was tucked in while the other hung frustratingly loose around his ankle. “Yeah,” he said, sounding equally as stupid and just as wonderful as Shion remembered. “Yeah, I’m alive.”

“But—” Shion fumbled for something, anything, and came up short. “You—you vanished! You stopped coming to the beach.”

Nezumi winced. “I know.”

The prickles of cold were replaced with agitation that dug like thorns in his body. “I waited for you,” he said, low and harsh. “Every day for months. Years. And you—you never came back.”

Nezumi flinched back as if Shion had ripped one of the decorative plywood sea turtles off the wall and chucked it at him. “I know,” he murmured. “I’m sorry.”

“Sorry?” Shion barked out a laugh. “Five years of no contact—nothing—and now you show up here, at my work, to tell me you’re sorry?”

“I didn’t know you worked here,” Nezumi said.

“Then why are you here? You sure as hell can’t be a university student!”

Nezumi’s silver eyes flashed in the vibrant LED lights. “I’ve never heard you swear before,” he murmured wondrously, as if it was the most amazing thing in the world.

“Don’t change the subject!” Shion growled. “Where the hell do you get off just—”

“I wanted to come back,” Nezumi interjected. He didn’t raise his voice (which only aggravated Shion further), and he kept his hands at his side. Shion couldn’t help staring at each of his long, elegant fingers, remembering how they felt running over his cheek or brushing through his hair while they swam.

“Then why didn’t you?” Shion’s heart pounded in his chest, blood rushing through his ears. “You kissed me, said goodnight, and then you just vanished. For five years, Nezumi.”

“I didn’t mean to,” Nezumi said, raising his voice just a little. Shion could hear it in his voice that he was struggling not to yell, that he didn’t really have the right to yell. “Something happened, and as much as you meant to me, I couldn’t just—”

Those words stabbed through Shion’s chest like arrows. It’d taken Nezumi three years—three long, painful years—to finally say the words I love you. Shion hadn’t held it against him. Nezumi didn’t express his feelings through words. He translated them in his actions. Shion felt his love in the way he found ways to maintain physical contact when they were together. He felt Nezumi’s love each time Nezumi brought him pretty shells from the deeper parts of the ocean floor.

Shion knew how much he meant to Nezumi. And as angry as he was at Nezumi’s unexpected disappearance, the fact that he was here now must have meant something.

Shion opened his mouth to speak—to say what, he didn’t know—and Emi came trotting down the hallway, huffing and puffing as if it’d taken all her energy to catch up with them.

“There—,” she gasped dramatically, doubling over and pressing her hand against her chest. “There you two are! Why did you run away?”

Nezumi glanced over at her, and Shion took the opportunity to escape. “It’s nothing. Nezumi’s an old friend” —he didn’t miss the way Nezumi flinched— “and things were… well, it’s complicated. But this isn’t the place for it.”

Emi’s dark brown eyes widened. “Ooh?” She looked at Shion, then at Nezumi, and then back. She clapped her hands together. “What’s this? A secret romance?”

“The hell?” Nezumi muttered, despite everything.

“Emi,” Shion said firmly, “now is neither the time nor the place. Now,” he added, looking at the clock suspended from the wall. “I believe you two are due for orientation. Mr. Rikiga will be expecting you.”

“Ooh, you’re right! We don’t wanna be late!” Emi spun on her heel and reached out for Nezumi’s wrist. “Come on, uh, Nezumi, was it? Weird. We’re gonna be late!”

Nezumi withdrew his wrist from Emi’s reach and turned to look at Shion. “I’m out at noon,” he said carefully. Shion’s shoulders shot to his ears, the words slicing through him like a bullet. “Can we talk then?”

“I’m not free until after the aquarium closes,” Shion replied. He didn’t know why he said it, but it wouldn’t do him any good to lie. Nezumi would probably figure out his schedule soon enough anyway.

“That’s fine. How about I meet you here after work?” Nezumi lowered his voice so that Emi, already skipping back toward the main foyer, wouldn’t overhear. “I get it if you tell me to fuck off, but… I’d like to explain myself.”

“All right,” Shion mumbled. “I’ll meet you outside the employee entrance at seven-thirty.”

“I’ll be here,” Nezumi said. There was so much strength and conviction in his voice that Shion couldn’t help but meet his eye. The fluorescent lights caught in his irises as he repeated, slower, “I will be here, Shion.”

“Sure,” Shion whispered, and he watched as Nezumi turned and headed back toward the foyer. He seemed to stumble a bit, but even that seemed inhumanly graceful. Shion’s heart ached as he watched him leave.

Eventually, his duties as a dedicated marine biologist convinced him to seek out the elevator, punch in the code to the Number Six observatory floor, and strip out of his lab coat, button-down, and slacks in favor of his West Block Aquarium scuba suit. Dark blue with lime green accents, it was Shion’s least favorite piece of work equipment, simply for its pointlessness. He was a Child of the Sea—at least fifty percent of him was—and scuba gear was wasted on someone who could breathe underwater.

But he couldn’t exactly drop into the forty-foot tank without his gear in front of tourists.

Shion struggled into his scuba suit, his heart hammering a thousand miles a minute. His hands shook as he zipped up his wetsuit, fumbling with the useless air tank (he could breathe underwater, damn it, but the tourists and the interns and his boss couldn’t know that) and all the tubes in their proper place to pump oxygen uselessly into his lungs.

Shion sat on the edge of the top level of Number Six, his vision blurring red and gray. His bright yellow swim fins felt ridiculous and artificial—even though Shion had never been able to grow a tail of his own, his legs more than strong enough to propel him through the water—and his whole body buzzed with anxiety. He took a few deep breaths, trying to calm himself in a way that proved to be completely ineffective, and then he tumbled backward into Number Six.

Sinking down into the depths, Shion let the cold water collapse around him and smother the heat of embarrassment and anger and relief that churned inside him. He sank downward through a small school of colorful fish and past Trudgealong (a withered sea turtle with a no-nonsense attitude), squeezing his eyes closed behind the useless face mask and trying to breathe.

Goddammit.

Nezumi’s shocked face flashed behind his closed eyelids. His voice echoed in Shion’s skull like a pissed off bee, and no matter how hard Shion fought it, he couldn’t help but remember how it had felt to sink beneath the waves with Nezumi guiding him by the wrist, propelling them both along the coral reefs much more quickly than Shion could move on his own.

Shion shook away the thoughts and focused on eying the occupants of Number Six and taking mental notes on their overall health.

For the most part, the fish and assorted sharks looked decent. Shion could sense the increased buzz of excitement radiating from them; he couldn’t “speak to fish”, and Nezumi had confirmed that no Child of the Sea could. He could, however, sense when they were comfortable or agitated.

The fish in Number Six enjoyed the summer rush far more than the staff at the West Block Aquarium did. Snubby, for example, seemed to enjoy preening in front of children who remarked on his crooked teeth and blunt nose with loud shouts to their parents and pointing fingers. These were Snubby’s point of pride, and he swam quickly around the tank to ensure everyone got a good look. If Snubby were a human or a Child of the Sea, Shion felt the two of them wouldn’t get along very well. Fortunately, for both of them, Snubby couldn’t talk.

Beneath the cool saltwater, the red marking wrapped around Shion’s body chilled. These were the only “scales” Shion had on his body, and something about being in the water gave them a more aquatic appearance. The otherwise smooth red marking bristled and slotted with patterns, and if Shion ran his bare finger over it, it would feel bumpy and slick. The vibrant color made him wonder if this would be the color his tale would be if he could grow one in water. Sometimes he disliked not being able to grow one the way Nezumi and other Children of the Sea could, but Nezumi had never made him feel bad for it. In fact, Nezumi claimed, based on the stories he’d been told, Shion was lucky. The tradeoff for most Children of the Sea was that while they could grow tails in water, their legs were weak on land. Some of the most graceful Children of the Sea turned into complete klutzes on the surface.

As a teenager, Shion had laughed himself sick at the prospect of beautiful, elegant Nezumi being reduced to a tripping mess on the land. He often wondered if that was why Nezumi would never come up on land. Nezumi was a proud creature, and Shion often wondered if his pride could survive face-planting on the sand.

But now Nezumi was on land.

Shion shook his head. Don’t think about it right now.

Shion bit down on the breathing apparatus stuffed in his mouth. Something deep inside him made him glance down to the foyer through the clear, teal water. Through the glass several floors down, Shion could see Emi and Nezumi standing in front of Rikiga. Shion watched his boss lazily drift his hand through the air, giving them both the same spiel he gave each intern at the beginning of their first shift. Emi continued to bounce on the balls of her feet, looking ready to explode into a thousand pieces. And Nezumi…

Nezumi looked up into the tank. His eyes met Shion’s, even several stories down, and he lifted his hand to wave at him.

Shion didn’t know what compelled him, but he lifted his gloved hand and waved back.

⁂

At fifteen past seven, when the aquarium had officially closed and the majority of the staff had clocked out and gone home, Shion stood outside the employee entrance, arms wrapped around himself in a desperate attempt to keep from falling apart.

Seven-thirty. Nezumi had promised to come back to the aquarium at seven-thirty and meet Shion at the employee entrance.

Shion eyed the cars zipping down the street on the opposite end of the empty parking lot. The West Block Aquarium emptied out pretty quick after the doors closed. None of the staff were eager to pull extra hours, and Rikiga didn’t offer overtime. Shion was an exception—the only one on Rikiga’s staff who was salary—and if Rikiga happened to spot his car still in the lot, it wouldn’t have raised any eyebrows.

He leaned back against the brick wall, the warm stones heating the fabric of his lab coat. He didn’t know why he bothered wearing it. Shion spent most of his time submerged in the tanks, but the lab coat made him feel normal. Human. He didn’t mind being a hybrid, not at all, but it was lonely not having someone like him to confide in.

Shion flexed his fingers. He still remembered the day he and Nezumi met. Shion had been walking down the beach—because what else was a gainfully unemployed sixteen-year-old to do on a sunny summer day in a bustling tourist town—and growing anxious amidst the screaming toddlers and indifferent mothers in their floppy sunhats, Shion had sought out a place where he could dive underwater and go missing for a bit.

Diving under the waves and vanishing, however, wouldn’t work with an audience. People stared at him because of his weird hair (even in a tourist town where teenagers dyeing their hair ridiculous colors was well within the norm), and if he went underwater and didn’t resurface, he’d have the Coast Guard called on him in no time.

Climbing the rocks clustered on the left side of the beach and walking another mile from the main beach, Shion sought out a strip of soft white beach where he could sprint in and vanish. The broken pier attached to the boardwalk (abandoned for months after a nasty embezzling scandal leaked to the press) rose into view, and Shion’s mood brightened.

He ducked beneath the pier, preparing to slip beneath the waves—and lo and behold, tangled in a net and cursing up a storm had been Nezumi.

A fisherman’s net had tangled around him as he skimmed the bottom of the water, and Nezumi had managed to break the net from the boat (rightfully confusing the fishermen in the process, who must have assumed they’d wrangled a shark), but the tight coils had knotted around his fins. Unwilling to be a sitting duck for a bigger predator (believe it or not, Children of the Sea were not the top of the food chain), Nezumi had desperately sought a strip of beach where he could safely work on pulling the net off his tail.

Immediately springing into action, Shion had deftly untangled the knots, whispering to Nezumi that he’d have him free in no time. His mind buzzed with excitement—someone like him was sitting right there—but it didn’t feel like an appropriate time to gush.

Nezumi, who’d growled at Shion when he first approached, went painfully still. His silver eyes, so beautiful and unlike anything Shion had ever seen before, watched each movement of his hands as he worked the net carefully off his fins. Shion fought his own urges to brush his fingers against the dark black and blue scales, jealous and enamored of something he should have had but didn’t, and after a few minutes of careful working, he tossed the vicious net aside and said, brightly, “There! You’re free.”

“Much obliged,” Nezumi muttered, and then, before Shion could blink, Nezumi’s hand wrapped around his wrist and yanked him into the water.

The shock of the cool ocean made Shion gasp; that had probably been Nezumi’s intention. With a few powerful flicks of his tail, Nezumi propelled them away from the shore, banking downward into the deeper ends of the shallows.

“You saved me, human,” Nezumi’s voice purred in his ear, sending goosebumps skittering down his bare arms. “So, I suppose it’s only fair to reward you.”

Drowning is a reward? Shion had thought. He’d opened his mouth to tell Nezumi that drowning wouldn’t work on him, that he wasn’t human—and Nezumi’s mouth closed over his own.

Shion’s eyes widened. Nezumi’s mouth was cool, but his soft lips sent waves of warmth through each nerve ending in Shion’s body. His eyes slid shut, the gentle shifts of the ocean waves rustling above his head. Tendrils of Nezumi’s long, dark hair brushed against his cheeks. Shion fought the urge to reach his hands out and brush his fingers through it, wondering at how soft it would feel.

An eternity later, Nezumi drew back, his arms still wrapped around Shion’s shoulders. Shion swallowed a mouthful of seawater and opened his eyes.

Nezumi’s silver eyes hovered a few inches in front of his own. He looked down at Shion—still alive, still staring at him in wonder—and a muscle in his jaw twitched. “You…” he said slowly. “You’re not drowning.”

“I am not.”

“You’re… like me?”

"Yeah. Well, half, anyway.”

“Oh,” Nezumi said, and that had been the beginning of it all.

From the moment Shion laid eyes on Nezumi, he’d known there was something different about him. Not just because he had a tail and looked like a god, but because he wasn’t like anyone else Shion had ever met in his life.

Nezumi had a vicious sense of humor. Nezumi was sarcastic and cold. He mocked Shion and poked fun at his wetsuit—black with bright red accents, because it made him feel at least somewhat attractive and it was comfortable—and he never understood how Shion could enjoy walking around on land when there was a whole ocean to explore.

But there was so much more to Nezumi than his sarcasm. He loved listening to stories. His laugh sounded like bells. He sang songs when he and Shion were alone, and he knocked Safu off her surfboard as a joke until she kicked him in the shoulder and tried to wrestle him underwater, both of them shrieking with laughter.

“Shion!”

He lifted his head, startled from his memories, and spotted Nezumi hurrying across the parking lot.

It was strange, seeing him with a pair of legs rather than a long black tail, but at least he’d changed out of the vibrant green tee-shirt Rikiga insisted his staff members wear to be more visible. Shion had never been more grateful than the day he’d been given permission to wear whatever he wanted as long as he wore a lab coat over it during work hours. As the son of Rikiga’s good friend (Crush, Safu insisted, and Shion gallantly ignored her), Shion received something akin to “special treatment” from Rikiga, though he never asked for it.

He was still wearing the cargo pants and black boots he’d been wearing earlier, but in place of the tee shirt was a black leather jacket that Shion had to admit looked stunning on him. It mixed well with his long, dark hair and piercing eyes; it was a wonder that he’d made it to the aquarium at all. How did he get through each day without a horde of people swarming around him?

Shion looked down at his cell phone. The screen flashed its white numbers, announcing seven-twenty-five. Shion’s heart skipped a bit, and he tried to compose himself as Nezumi trotted up beside him.

“You’re early,” he said softly.

“Didn’t want to risk being late,” Nezumi replied. “You don’t deserve that.”

Shion huffed through his nose. “Let’s go inside. We can talk there.”

“OK,” Nezumi mumbled.

Shion let them in the employee entrance. He shut the door behind them, then made a bee line for the elevator leading up to the observatory room near Number Six.

“Where are you going?” Nezumi called after him.

“Let’s go to Number Six,” Shion called back. “It’ll be easier to talk if we don’t worry about people walking in on us.”

“The aquarium’s closed, though.” Nezumi caught up to him rather quickly. He strode beside Shion, his long legs easily keeping pace with Shion’s brisk stride. “Who’d walk in?”

"Well, hopefully, no one. But you never know what employees have left things behind. So it’d be better not to be talking about… things where people could overhear.”

“Good point,” Nezumi murmured.

The elevator ride up to the observatory room was silent and awkward. Shion shifted from one foot to the other, and Nezumi lingered on the far end of the little room to give him space. Shion could feel those piercing silver eyes sliding toward him, then quickly darting away when Shion tried to look back. It sent prickles through his body, and he clenched his fists to focus on something else.

When the elevator dinged and signaled their arrival at the observatory, Nezumi stepped out of the room and half-jogged across the tile floor and toward the top of the tank. The lights had been dimmed, only a few bulbs bright and illuminating the dome. Nezumi quickly unzipped the black leather jacket and tossed it casually to the floor, revealing a long-sleeved yellow shirt beneath it.

“Nezumi?” Shion asked.

Nezumi didn’t answer. He shucked off his shirt, and beneath it he wore a black sleeveless shirt that Shion suspected was meant to keep him from being bare-chested in the water.

“Um,” Shion said, feeling his face heating up. “What exactly are you doing?”

"Proof,” Nezumi called over his shoulder. He swooped down to undo his black boots, kicking them off into the corner beside Number Six’s main pool.

“Proof of what?” Shion asked, but Nezumi didn’t answer. He unbuttoned his pants, and Shion quickly looked away. His face burned, and only when he heard the sound of water splashing did he turn back.

Nezumi popped back up, grabbing the side of the tank and folding his arms on top of it. He rested his chin on his wrists and looked up at Shion. His silver eyes (exactly as Shion remembered, even years later) glittered in the fluorescent lights. His hair was still in a ponytail, several strands falling down over where his ears would be.

“Just wanted to make sure you knew it was really me,” Nezumi said, and with a flick of his tail, he sent a few droplets of water raining down over Shion’s head.

His tail.

Shion’s heart stopped. When Shion met Nezumi, the first thing he’d noticed (after the eyes) had been his tail. Unlike the bright blues and greens of Disney and childhood picture books, Nezumi’s tale was dark black and flecked with deep blue. The fins were wider and longer at the base, almost lace-like and elegant. Beneath the surface of the water, Shion couldn’t seen what they looked like at the hips (he was still wearing the lime green West Block Aquarium staff tee shirt, which didn’t suit him at all), but from his memory, he knew that the scales melded into flesh around his navel.

Shion crouched beside the tank, his stomach tightening. “Why now?”

Nezumi’s tail sank back below the surface of the water. Shion could see it swaying idly back and forth, the way a human might churn their feet lazily to keep themselves afloat in calm seas.

Shion knew Nezumi’s tail would be cold if he touched it. So would his skin. Nezumi was always cold. Not his personality, but—all right, sometimes his personality, too, but mostly his skin and tail were cool whenever Shion touched them. Even years later, he could remember the way it felt to smooth his hand over Nezumi’s hip, counting the blue scales peppered throughout. Nezumi’s tail reminded him of obsidian, black at first glance, with flecks of gray and purple and blue when it moved and the light shifted across it.

Nezumi’s eyes lowered to the floor between them. A harsh silence fell around them, punctuated only by the buzzing of the lights overhead and the glug-glug of the industrial-sized water filter.

“I didn’t mean to disappear for so long,” Nezumi explained, and his voice held so much conviction that Shion didn’t doubt him.

“You said that.”

“When I went back, something… happened.”

Shion raised an eyebrow.

Nezumi’s fingers wove into his damp bangs, which were so long they fell over his left eye, and gave them a yank. Shion’s heart clenched; he recognized it as an old habit Nezumi had when they were teenagers, something he did when he was nervous or uncomfortable. His nails were still pale and long, neat despite the distinct lack of access to quality salon service beneath the ocean’s waves.

“A human found the town where I lived,” he said quietly. “Under the ocean. When I wasn’t visiting you at the beach.”

Shion felt something clamp around his heart.

He knew what it meant if humans discovered the existence of the Children of the Sea. Humans, as much as Shion might have liked to believe otherwise, couldn’t stand knowing that there were resources they hadn’t been able to exploit. And the existence of merpeople would be a scientific miracle—enough that some greedy bastard would utilize it to try and earn millions.

“What happened?” Shion whispered. He hadn’t recalled seeing any breaking news headlines about merpeople; he definitely would have seen something like that, unless the government came swooping in to silence it.

Nezumi’s tail twitched under the water, clearly agitated. “Instead of running to the news,” he said through his teeth, “this idiot decided to try and capture one of us and bring them to the shore as evidence. Needless to say, the rest of us didn’t take kindly to that.”

“I’d imagine not.”

“But what we didn’t count on,” Nezumi said, his voice lowering, “was the oil.” He rested his hand flat on the water’s surface, letting it bounce gently beneath the water and then lifting it back up. “He emptied a container of oil into the water—not sure where he got it—and lit a match. I didn’t know it was that flammable.”

Shion listened as Nezumi explained how the flames had burned the Children of the Sea, who were unaccustomed to the sensation due to their inexperience with burning things. The oil doused them and made them sink below, unable to swim and avoid the flames. The water didn’t seem to stop it, the sticky substance creating an odd shield that didn’t mix well with the water, keeping the two materials separate from each other.

His heart ached at the thought of all the Children of the Sea who had suffered—according to Nezumi’s whispered story, the whole town had gone down in flames. A decent chunk of them had managed to escape, Nezumi included, but the majority of them…

The majority of them had burned to death.

“I’m sorry,” Shion whispered as Nezumi lapsed into uncomfortable silence. “Oh, Nezumi, I’m so sorry.”

“I was so angry,” Nezumi replied. “When I woke up and realized what had happened, I was so angry I couldn’t think of anything else. I was hurt. I was scared. And I couldn’t think of anything except how much I hated humans.”

Shion frowned. Nezumi’s dislike for humans wasn’t new to him. And fortunately, Nezumi had never spat Shion’s half-human heritage in his face. If anything, he seemed as fascinated by Shion’s legs as Shion was about his tail. The only difference was that Nezumi could have had a pair of his own—he stubbornly chose not to—and Shion had never been able to pop a tail no matter how many (embarrassing) times he’d attempted.

“When I woke up, I didn’t know where I was,” Nezumi went on. “All I knew was that my back hurt and everyone else I knew was dead. For a while things were just… bad. I couldn’t move, and when I tried, it just made me realize that there was a chance I was going to die, too, and I hated it. After a while, I could move, and I just left.”

“Left?” Shion echoed.

“I couldn’t stand being there,” Nezumi said under his breath. “Everywhere I looked I could see all the people I knew, and then I remembered that because of one greedy fucking human, they were gone. We took him down with us—Sasori, I think, yanked him off the boat and drowned him—but it didn’t feel like enough. It didn’t matter that he was dead, too. It didn’t matter that, miraculously, I’d survived whatever the hell he did to us. It just didn’t matter.”

Shion swallowed the lump in his throat. His eyes stung.

“I wanted to come back,” Nezumi went on, his voice painfully soft. Shion had to strain to hear him. “I wanted to at least tell you why I was going. But every time I thought about going back to that place, something just made me leave. It’s not an excuse, and I know it’s not a good enough reason to make you think that I just abandoned you, but I couldn’t—couldn’t get past the anger. I hated everyone. I hated myself. I was so angry, and there was no coming back from it. And I didn’t…” He waved his hands, agitated, the words slipping away from him. He huffed and said, “I didn’t want to take it out on you. It’s so fucking stupid, but I didn’t want to shout at you and blame you, and I was so angry with humans that I knew I would. If I saw you then, I’d only see the human part of you and blame you for things you had nothing to do with. That’s not fair. I know it’s not. And I’m not asking you to forgive me. I wouldn’t forgive me, either.”

“Then why come back?” Shion whispered. He’d moved forward, almost like an instinct, and sat at the edge of the tank, a few inches from Nezumi’s face. “Why come back at all?”

“Because I missed you,” Nezumi whispered back, as strong and as sure as if he’d simply stated the color of the morning sky. “I missed you. When the anger cooled, you were all I could think about. I had no way of knowing if you were even still here, or if you’d even want to see me after I just left, but if there was a chance, I wanted to take it.”

Shion’s throat tightened. He swallowed around the lump that had lodged there and ordered himself not to cry. He was angry. He was supposed to be angry. And yet, beneath the anger was wave after wave of relief that Nezumi was alive.

“So… the aquarium?”

Nezumi shrugged. “It seemed like a good job for a Child of the Sea. I filled out the application and they called me back. I didn’t know you were working here. But once I got a job and… established myself here, I wanted to find you.”

“Established yourself?”

“I wanted a way to prove to you that I wanted to stay. If you told me to fuck off and never wanted to see me again, I would understand. But I wanted a way to prove to you that I intend to stay this time.”

Shion’s hands tightened around the lip of the tank. Emotions whirled inside him like a tsunami, and he felt as if he was caught in the middle of it, unable to surface. Stinging tears prickled at the backs of his eyes, and he forced back the urge to cry. Once he started, he knew he’d never stop. He scraped the back of his hand beneath his eyes, widening them just a bit to keep from crying.

He was still angry. Of course he was. But he couldn’t imagine how badly it hurt. He couldn’t imagine what he would have done if his mother’s bakery burnt down, with her and Safu and everyone else he knew trapped inside.

He took a deep breath, feeling it catching inside his chest around the ball of anger and sorrow and raw fucking hope that’d nestled within.

"Where are you staying?” Shion murmured.

Nezumi perked up, but kept his voice steady as he answered, “A motel down on Seventh Street. By the boardwalk. You remember.”

“I do.” Shion pressed his lips together. “It’s not too far from my house. What’s your schedule?”

"I’m off tomorrow, but I think I’m working open to close on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays. The old man says hours will pick up some time, but he wasn’t specific.”

“Do you have a car?”

“Can’t drive,” Nezumi answered, much too quickly, and Shion couldn’t help the laugh that cracked out of his throat. “I can barely walk—don’t laugh at me. This is serious.”

“I’m not laughing at you,” Shion said, but his lips were tugging upward at the corners. He had to admit, despite everything that’d happened, it was pretty fucking funny. Nezumi—elegant, perfect, beautiful, wonderful Nezumi, whose every movement was the physical definition of grace—was clumsy on the land.

“Yes, you are,” Nezumi groused, but when Shion stole a glance up into his face, he was smiling, too.

God, his smile.

Even after all these years, he was still as beautiful as the day Shion met him.

“Well,” Shion said, and dammit, if his voice wobbled, Nezumi better not comment on it. “The boardwalk’s on my way to the aquarium, and if you’re working about the same schedule as me, I wouldn’t mind picking you up and bringing you home.”

Nezumi’s eyes widened.

“I’m not ready to forgive you just yet,” Shion explained. “You really hurt me. I understand why you left, but I wish you had just… I don’t know, said something to me so I didn’t think you were dead. I know that might be petty of me, given what happened, and I’m sorry for that.”

“It’s not petty,” Nezumi assured. “I was an asshole.”

“Yeah, but you almost died.” Shion exhaled through his nose. “And I missed you, too.”

Nezumi laughed; it crackled a bit at the edges, and Shion couldn’t help it. He leaned forward, his arms reaching out—and miraculously, Nezumi reached back. Shion slid his arms around Nezumi’s shoulders and rested his forehead against the crook of Nezumi’s neck. He smelled like sea salt and an odd floral scent Shion had never been able to identify but could always remember. Despite being half fish, Nezumi never smelled like anything Shion would have expected.

Nezumi’s arms tightened around his shoulders and squeezed back. “I really did miss you,” he murmured against the top of Shion’s head.

“I missed you, too,” Shion said, and it was true. As angry and hurt as he was with Nezumi’s sudden disappearance, nothing about that had changed. “I’m not ready to go back to the way things were, and I can’t promise that I will be…”

“That’s fine,” Nezumi assured, burying his face in Shion’s hair. “I’m just glad to be here, in whatever way you’ll have me.”

This was more emotion and honesty than Shion had ever gotten out of Nezumi about his feelings, and it felt as if a sudden, burning heat had cracked through the darkness in his heart. His memories of his summers spent as a teenager came flooding back to him, and all at once, he was back on the beach, stretched out on a scratchy beach blanket with Nezumi’s arms wrapped around him. His tail rested over Shion’s legs, comfortingly cool in the midsummer heat, and heavy in a way that reminded Shion of a weighted blanket.

Nothing about it was perfect. Shion knew this. The frustration and pain wouldn’t disappear overnight, and just because Nezumi apologized didn’t mean he was free and clear of blame. But for a few moments, wrapped in his arms, Shion understood that at least he was back and they could work through it together.

He sighed, pressed himself against Nezumi’s cool, solid body, and reveled in the realization that yes, he was back. He was back, and he wanted to be here. The shush-shush of the water in Number Six fell around them, creating a comfortable mimicry of the waves that’d collapsed over Shion’s head the day Nezumi hauled him into the ocean and tried to drown him. Shion closed his eyes, tightened his grip on Nezumi’s shoulders, and for the first time in years, could finally breathe.

#no6 #no 6 #no.6 #no. 6 #no6secretsanta #aoicanvas #glorifiedscapegoat #fanfiction #submission

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j2hoes · 5 years ago

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Meet The Family. (Draco Malfoy x Reader)

Summary: Draco finally visits Y/N’s family home for the first time. The trip ultimately brings them closer together. (Set during Order Of The Phoenix).

Word Count: 1,982

Gif Not Mine. Requests Are Open!

Warnings: None, I don’t think.

Draco's hand gripped mine tightly, his palm clammy and coated in a thin layer of sweat. He's nervous. If his hand didn't give it away, the look in his smoky grey eyes definitely did. Squeezing his hand, I offer him a bright smile as my eyes glance over his outfit. "You couldn't have worn something a little less formal?" As much as I love Draco's style, it really isn't appropriate attire for the occasion. His crisp white shirt is accompanied by a form fitting black suit jacket. On his feet are a polished pair of undoubtedly expensive shoes. It would be the perfect outfit if we were attending a meal of some sort. Not visiting my family home. "I don't see a problem with my clothes. After all I need to make a good impression." He tells me, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear. "My family will love you! Now, sit down with me. My brother is late as usual." Taking a seat at the edge of the long, dirt road, I cross my legs beneath me. Embracing the warm summer sun as it hits my face. Draco looks at me as if I've gone mad and I find myself giggling slightly. Of course he won't sit down. He grew up in a manor of all places. "I'm no peasant Y/N." "And I am?" I tease, shielding my eyes from the sun as I glance up at the pale boy. Before Draco can say anything else the sound of a vehicle approaching silences the pair of us. When it comes to a stop in front of us, my brother hops out of the driver's seat. Immediately scooping me up in a rather tight hug. "This is Draco, my boyfriend." "I know who he is. Everyone knows the Malfoy's." My brother states, glaring at the blonde boy who has taken particular interest in his shoes, focusing on them rather than my brother. Hauling our trunks into the back of the truck, my brother climbs back into the driver's seat and motions for us to get into the back. Upon looking into the passenger seat, I spot our two dogs stretched across the seats. Rolling my eyes, I pull myself up, offering a hand for the still timid boy. "Are you sure this is safe?" Draco asks me as we take seats upon a stack of hay directly behind the back window. "It's as safe as riding a Nimbus 2000." Leaning into his side, we watch as the numerous fields slowly fade into the distance. The ride to my house is short, though by the time we reach the farm, I'm ready to be home. As soon as we jump out of the truck, my mum comes hurtling out of the door. A huge smile set upon her face, making her look much younger. "Draco! It's so wonderful to meet you. Our Y/N talks about you non-stop, always talking how much of a charming young lad you are." She says, wrapping her arms in a friendly hug before he even has a chance to react. By the look on his face this reaction is unexpected. Draco was determined that my family would hate him, what with the Malfoy reputation. It's fair to say that my brother isn't exactly the biggest fan of Draco. At least not yet anyway. However, I always knew my mum would love him. "It's a pleasure to meet you Mrs Y/L/N." He states, a small smile forming on his face. "Enough of that nonsense! Call me Y/M/N. You're family now lad, whether you like it or not." I can't help but grin as watch the interaction between the two of them. Pleased that they are actually getting along. The slytherin wraps an arm around my shoulder, pulling me closer out of instinct. My mum notices and although she tries to hide it, she can't help her smile from becoming impossibly wider. "Y/N, just because your boyfriend is here that doesn't exempt you from your chores. I expect everything to carry on as usual, do you understand?" My mum's voice switches instantly, from sweet and friendly to calm and stern. "Of course, I wouldn't dream of slacking off." With that my mum scurries back into the kitchen, presumably to prepare dinner. Taking Draco's hand, I pull him inside and up to my bedroom. My house is probably nothing like his. Although I've never been, I've made assumptions. Malfoy Manor sounds like the type of place that is all polished marble and sleek furniture. Whereas my house is wooden and practically falling to pieces, with odd pieces of furniture that simply do not match. As odd as it looks, it's home. Closing the door behind me, I look on in content as the blonde takes in my bedroom. He slowly walks around my room, careful not to miss anything as he stares at each poster and picture that are stuck to my walls. Kicking off my shoes, I flop on to my bed. Staring at the glow in the dark stars that are still stuck to my ceiling. "I'm sorry its so messy and childish. It hasn't really been redecorated since I was a kid." I admit, hearing the sound of his footsteps as he continues to look around. "No, it's cute. It's very you. I like it. I mean, it shows you had a childhood." Smiling at his words, I realise that Draco and I most likely had extremely different childhood's. His being controlled by his parents, telling his what he can and can't do, who he can and can't be friends. Mine being so relaxed and carefree, simply doing whatever I felt like. I feel the weight on my bed shift and Draco's face is hovering above mine. He looks so relaxed, something that I haven't seen him feel for a long time. Not since you know who came back. "You're so beautiful." He whispers. Pressing his lips to mine, I feel the happiest I think I've ever felt. One hand cups my face while the other is positioned next to my head, holding himself above me. My fingers comb through his perfectly styled hair, emitting a low groan from the back of his throat. His tongue gently dips into my mouth as the hand that was cupping my face slowly begins to make its way down my body. His cold fingers slide under my shirt and trace patterns along the skin of my stomach, causing goose bumps to form all over my body. Before his hand can travel any further however, the door is thrown up and my brother stands there with a disgruntled expression set upon his features. "Get off my sister." Peeling himself away from me, he sits at the end of my bed. Sighing slightly, I push myself to sit up. My brother has his arms folded and eyebrows raised as he spots my slightly swollen lips. "Mum said dinner will be in about twenty minutes. She also said you need to feed Chester and Ruth." He tells me, voice monotone as if he doesn't want me to see how he's feeling. Nodding my head, I wait for him to leave before moving. Pulling my boyfriend off the bed, I quickly shove my feet into my shoes and head out of the bedroom. We pass my mum as we dart outside and she simply throws us a soft smile. "Who are Ruth and Chester?" Draco asks, once we're outside. Smiling slyly, I don't answer and instead continue walking to the barn at the back of our house. The sound of hooves against the mud, catches his attention before mine. Looking down in disgust at his now mud coated shoes, yet he continues to follow me into the barn. "This is Chester and Ruth." I say, grabbing a bag of horse feed. Hopping the fence with ease, I begin to fill their buckets with food, only to realise that Draco is still stood by the door. A wary look on his face, as though he's unsure whether he should come over or not. Waving him over, I climb back over the fence and hand him an apple. "Hold your hand out, palm flat. One of them will come to you and take it. They love apples." I say, holding an apple out myself so he can copy my movements. Chester comes over and snatches the apple out of my hand, Ruth follows and takes the apple from Draco. Although he still looks somewhat scared he doesn't run away from them. Which I take as a good sign. Stroking Chester's head, I hear Draco's breathing begin to shake slightly, causing me to look at him. "Are you okay?" I ask, concerned for the boy. "Y/N, where's your dad?" The question was obviously plaguing his mind. Presumably the reason for his shaky breaths. He probably didn't know how to ask. Or didn't want to upset me. "You don't know? I thought everybody knew." "Thought everybody knew what?" He asks, even more curious than he was seconds before. "He's dead. Back when we were in third year he was killed by a group of deatheaters. It was all over the newspapers. It was all anybody could talk about at Hogwarts. I guess that's why my brother is so cold towards you. Especially since your dad's a deatheater." "Is that why you're so against the idea of meeting my parents?" "It was two years ago. I've been through the whole grieving process. I don't want to forget my dad, but I want to move on if that makes sense. If I meet your parents, especially your dad, I don't think I'd be able to handle it. At least not yet." Wrapping my arms around his waist, I rest my head on his chest. Listening to the sound of his beating heart as one of his hands strokes my hair gently. He kisses my forehead gently before bringing my face to look at him. "I understand. There's no rush. I love you and that's all that matters." My heart fills with warmth at those three little words. It sounds like heaven as they spill from his lips and I know that this boy has stolen my heart completely. It sounds silly but it's true. "I love you too." With interlocked hands we walk back to the house just as mum is placing dinner on the table. Taking our seats, we wait for my brother to join us before helping ourselves to chicken and vegetables. The stone cold glares my brother keeps throwing at Draco don't go unnoticed by me and I try my best to ignore it. That is until he tries to cause an argument at the kitchen table. "Don't you feel bad about the way your family treats people? Don't you feel bad that your father has killed people?" "Draco isn't his father!" I object, taking his hand in mine and gripping it as tight as physically can. "No, but he'll follow in his footsteps it's only a matter of time." My brother is looking for a reaction, I know that and judging by the fact that Draco is simply looking down at out hands, he knows it too. "Mum tell him, this isn't fair!" "Quit it. The both of you. Your dad wouldn't want our guest to be treated like this. Draco is apart of this family, so you will treat him like it. Y/N is right, he isn't his father. So show him some respect." My brother continues to eat in silence, looking at neither me nor Draco. I know he won't warm up to him easily but hopefully with a bit of time they'll become some sort of friends. At least for now, there is no more hurtful comments or icy glances. For now everything is peaceful.

#draco malfoy #draco malfoy x reader #draco malfoy imagine #harry potter universe #slytherin #raveclaw #Hufflepuff #Gryffindor #harry potter universe imagine #Malfoy imagine #fluff #draco malfoy fluff #hogwarts #ootp #order of the phoenix

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ryderxmms · 4 years ago

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folks ... it is i, chelly, once again to introduce you to another one of my children !! ryder is a goof. a musical goof. who’s definitely been Through It, but he’s a lovable guy and i hope you’ll feel the same way after reading all about him !! if you’d like to plot please like this so i can hit you up and shower you in love !!

tw: alcoholism, abuse, angst

* : ･ﾟ･✧･ RYDER STELLAN SIMMS ･✧･ﾟ･ : *

— && guests may mistake me as ( chase stokes ), but really i am ( ryder simms + cis male + he/him ) and my DOB is ( 3/3/1995 ). i am applying for the ( bartender ) position as part of the EHP and would like to live in suite ( 207 ). i should be hired because i am ( relaxed & creative ), but i can also be ( despondent & temperamental ) at times. personally, i like to ( write music, play the drums & guitar, go skateboarding ) when off the clock, but that won’t interfere with work.

this is another ... long read .... and for that i am so sorry listen the muse just be pouring out sometimes but like

TL:DR - ryder’s childhood was confusing and rough for the boy; his parents weren’t good together, in fact they probably brought out the worst in each other. his mother was a depressed woman for much of his childhood and his father was an alcoholic that could be abusive one night and a party the next. music was his solace through out all of it and ryder latched onto his drum kit and guitar for support. it’s just been he and his mom since they moved from seattle to chicago years ago and his sole focus has been on music and doing whatever he can to make it work. he’s got a band called one night stand and he’s really passionate about it & hope to get a record deal one of these days. really he’s just a theater kid, a goof, this loveable guy who will fight for his friends as the loyal guy he is, but otherwise isn’t rough or tough. he’s incredibly passionate and appreciative, like will literally give you the shirt off his back if you need it. he’s been through a lot over the years and he’s felt lost and empty at plenty of points in his life, but there’s a lightness to this boy/

connections: you can find ryder’s connection page right over here and would be open to any of them !! but i’d especially love to see a bandmate, flirtationship, gym buddy, or ride or die for this boyyo

*:･ﾟ･✧･ where it all began: in life, ryder’s always been pretty honest about how fucked up his life is, or at least has been, he grew up in a broken home, truth be told. his parents were far from perfect - just two blue-collared adults struggling to make ends meet. sure, they were married, but that decision got made after his mother found out she was pregnant and there was nothing overtly romantic about any of it. they signed the courthouse paperwork and got a couple of inexpensive bands from the pawnshop and called it a day. from there on, there didn’t have a whole lot of love in their marriage, let alone household, and truly a lot of undeserving resentment had fallen onto ryder’s shoulders once he had been born. it was painfully obvious that neither of his parents were too eager to have a child, especially not with each other and while still only in their twenties, but nothing about that was ryder’s fault; obviously. while his parents tried to show him that they loved him, that they cared unconditionally, there were so many conditions that came with being a member of the simms household.

*:･ﾟ･✧･ about to set fire: ryder’s mother was miserable, clinically depressed and attempting to self-treat herself for the majority of her life, but at the least she was still far more present and caring towards ryder than his father was. he was miserable too, but his father’s version of self-medicating came in the form of alcohol after a long day’s work at the factory. he would slump down in the recliner in their living room and flip on the television, barely making it through an evening without getting drunk. for the longest time, the concept of drinking and getting drunk confused the shit out of ryder. his father was an alcoholic, there was no denying that, but his drunken stupors weren’t always the same. there were occasions where his father was what he later found to be considered a happy drunk - playing on the floor with ryder and laughing so loudly it rumbled against the walls and dancing with his mother to the radio in their kitchen. but then there were nights where his father was a mean drunk - shoving ryder to the floor, yelling so loudly that it shook the pictures on the wall, slapping his mother in their kitchen. whatever version of his father he or his mother was going to get was a mystery, and when things were good they seemed great, but when things were bad they seemed dangerous. ryder never questioned his mom when she’d take him out for a long ride and make him stay at grandma’s for a week. never questioned when she would shoo him upstairs to his room so that he didn’t have to deal with whatever was going on. never questioned why she stayed, either. why they were subjected to any of this. that was ryder’s world, it was his life, and it wasn’t until he grew up a little that he began to realize just how wrong everything was about his household.

*:･ﾟ･✧･ change of pace: it was a shocking mid-fall afternoon, rain pattering down against the windows and into the bucket that was collecting the rainwater from the leak in their roof, that everything seemed to change. ryder’s father came home in one of those happy drunken moments and announced to he and his mother that he was in love with another woman and was going to move in with her, was going to petition for a divorce and that it was going to be the best thing that had ever happened to him … ryder was thirteen at the time and he understand what it meant to be in love, what a divorce meant, what his father was: a cheating, alcoholic, sick man. to be quite honest, ryder wasn’t even that upset about the news - he quite figured that it might be the best thing for he and his mother. there was nothing picture perfect about their family, but maybe, just maybe, they’d at least all be better away from each other. but of course, as with the happy drunken nights came the angry drunken nights, and while ryder’s father stayed firm on wanting to get out of the house and leave his mother, there were a whole lot more fights and a lot more shoving and punching and kicking and bruises. then there were afternoons where they’d meet with an official to sign paperwork, shaking each other’s hands at the end of it all … the relationship confused ryder, it made him question what was to be considered ‘normal’ in his own life. what he wanted for himself in the future. he needed something to cope with the insanity of it all, and that was where music really came into play for the seattle boy.

*:･ﾟ･✧･ crash bang boom: ryder had always found himself to be obsessed with music - specifically the seattle born grunge era and all things rock and roll. he found that the loud sort of aggressive music was the best at drowning out whatever argument was going on down stairs. he dove into the era of 1980’s white snake or 1990’s nirvanna, everything that came before and in between and after, becoming quite the officianto. his favorite thing in the world was getting to pound on the drum kit in the band department at school before his mother came to pick him up from school. he was usually unable to take the bus back home considering he was in detention, often, and had to be picked up later in the afternoon, but ryder had an incentive to be kept late. it was an instrument that allowed him to expression his raging frustration in a constructive way, and the music teacher at his school wasn’t one to limit ryder’s , uh, creativity. he started checking out books from the library to teach himself how to play, stealing drum sticks from school and bringing them back home so he could bang on some pans just to get an idea of rhythms. every single semester he took music as an elective just so he was able to spend more time banging on drums. he started to learn some of the greatest drummer’s solos - john bonham’s good times bad times, keith moon’s who’s next, neil pearl’s the threes - anything that inspired him and was performed by the best. it certainly wasn’t easy, and he had begged his mother every year to help him pay for a drumset, but that wasn’t really a possibility for the family. his mother was essentially on her own after the divorce; despite the court-ordered child support being in place, she very rarely got sent a single check. so ryder had to work with what he had and what he had access to, but that passion for music never went away.

*:･ﾟ･✧･ sweet sixteen: when ryder had turned sixteen, he and his mother had moved down to chicago as she had gotten a job transfer there. she was being promoted to manage the new hair salon mastercuts was opening in the city and the opportunity was too good to pass up. being the angsty little shit that he was, ryder only agreed to move without kicking and screaming if she agreed to help get him into either music lessons with a drumming teacher, or get him his own kit. and considering his mother didn’t want to have to listen to the banging of drums in her own shoebox of a modest home they were able to afford in san diego, she agreed to sign him up for lessons. every summer since he was twelve, ryder had been mowing lawns and had saved up a pretty good chunk of change that helped sweeten the pot so his mother would help get him the rest of the money he’d need. and they just figured out how to make it work, and finally ryder was able to be mentored and taught by someone who actually knew what the fuck he was doing. he started to hang around all of the band and theater kids that he was going to school with since he finally felt that his talent was being fostered and he belonged now. he was a real musician. that interest carried onto social media, as it did for mostly everyone his age, and he started scrolling through his instagram feed and every cover of his favorite artists on youtube. it led ryder to following a lot of kids his own age who were just as obsessed with music as he was, even befriending a few here and there. as soon as he was able to afford his own drum kit, after working endless hours dishwashing and bar-backing at any place in california that would hire his scruffy ass, ryder started petitioning to some local bands and groups to take him on. he was ambitious in only one thing in his life - playing music.

*:･ﾟ･✧･ one night stand: while ryder was pretty lax and even awkward in any other setting, playing in a stuffy bar even in front of three people was his comfort zone. he was lucky enough to be invited to play with a few bands over the years, always lying to say that he was older than he really was just to be let into whatever bar or club the band had booked. even when he was seventeen, he was lying to his bandmates saying that he was twenty one just so that they’d actually consider him. he drove around the most beat up 1999 pick-up truck that carried his kit and his ass to and from school, gigs, work, and for a long time ryder felt like he was living the dream. a kid like him, who grew up in the household that he did, didn’t deserve to be playing at house parties for rich fucks in chicago or dive bars in illinois. he rode with three bands before he found his ‘forever home’, and each one felt just as much like a family as the last, but sometimes even the good shit can’t last forever. bands would break up over the dumbest shit, like whos song was getting performed or wasn’t at a gig, over bigger shit, like someone having to move away or taking on a better opportunity with someone else. and for ryder, he just hated the inconsistency after awhile.

he knew that college was never going to be an option for him, and if he was going to do anything with his life, it was going to be music. it is all he has ever wanted to do with his life, but it hasn’t been easy and no one makes it overnight, even with the internet fame that one night stand was starting to get. instead of getting discouraged, as soon as ryder discovered an advertisement for the employee housing program at the malnati, and he knew what he was going to be off doing. if there was even a chance that he could serve a drink to some music producer, a tech, maybe even a recording artist … a talent manager or agency director … he needed to take the chance. he believe in his talent so very much and he knew that just going from bars to parties wasn’t going to be enough to get signed and actually on a real label that could get his music out to the rest of the world. besides, getting out of mom’s house and a place on his own sounded right, even if he was going to be living in a hotel. it wouldn’t have been the first time he did, and it wasn’t going to be the worst living situation of his life.

*:･ﾟ･✧･ when we started: ryder is insanely passionate about music, his music, and most importantly their band. while he’s a chill dude and understands that playing is as much a hobby for everyone in the group, it’s also something that he hopes to make a full-time career out of some day. ever since ryder was a little kid holling up in his room, trying to ignore the stinging bruises around his jaw, he dreamed of playing sold-out area tours in front of thousands of people and being able to stand there and the crowd in front of him sing back the songs that he had written, performed. he really believes in his band and their potential, encouraging them to write EPs and play whatever shows they could get hired for and to make the album that they’d been talking about for awhile. ryder gets very excitable about music, and it’s what he’s most confident in. while he may be a seemingly awkward or goofy kid otherwise, he’s an intense and confident drummer and that’s where his place of tranquility is despite all of the noise and chaos of playing. he’s constantly studying up on techniques and new drumlines and if there’s ever a time he gets to catch another band’s show, he liked to go see what everyone else is up to just out of curiosity. he’s a huge concert-goer and has been to as many warped tours as possible since he was a young teen. he’s crazy passionate, but he definitely understands that he may not be on the same wavelength as some of his bandmates, and that’s okay. their time will come when it comes, and since having moved out to chicago to be around everyone, he’s come to be really happy with that. they aren’t chasing radio hits and trying to figure out what the market wants - they’re making music that they like, that speaks to them, and they’re all having a really great time together just doing it. his mother is still close enough that he can go see her or give her a shout whenever he can, and he couldn’t care less about what happened to his father. ‘good riddance’ is all ryder would have to say about the man.

*:･ﾟ･✧･ don’t need nothing but a good time: by day, ryder bartends at the malnati making as many tips as possible, and by night, he’s out playing gigs with his band and most affectionately people who have become his best friends. he’s not afraid to throw a punch for any one of them, would also begrudgingly take one for them, too. he’s got a keen eye for which shots they should post to their instagram to gain the most traction, which definitely helps them out. he’s recently quit the nasty smoking habit that he formed looong ago, and now he fills that urge for a headrush with salty chips; it’s been a pretty effective cold turkey quit method, and ryder’s been proud of himself because of it. he’s enjoying himself as he is now, just another angsty kid trying to make it in the music industry, but it’s been something that he’s been able to transition into with the help of the people around him. he likes to have a good time, might take a little while to warm up to someone but once he does, it’s nothing but good vibes from there on out. he’s one of those selfless dudes who’d give you the shirt off his back and wouldn’t even expect a thank you. he’s a really appreciative person and passionate in almost everything that he does. he’s got so much soul inside his bones, and it shows in his music and how he interacts with those he cares for. there’s been a lot of times in ryder’s life where he’s felt shallow, empty, lost. but he’s rather found himself over the years as he’s grown into adulthood and has been able to provide for himself, and while he’s still chasing his dreams, he’s also riding the wave he’s on now and it’s been pretty great. there’s a lightness about him that might not be expected, but at his core that’s who he is.

#malnatiooc #+ ( introduction * . )#for the new fc :~)

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endlessly-searching-for-you · 5 years ago

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There’s Always Another Summer

It all started on La Huerta, and it all ended here—or so it seemed. After Taylor used her connection to Vaanu to help Rourke, the whole world had been changed, and the change was not for the better. Finding her way in the dystopian empire, she tries to reconnect with her friends, build a relationship with her newfound family, find the love she had lost… and change the fate of an entire planet once again.

Chapter 1: All Gone Wrong

Masterlist / Chapter 2 »

A/N: Ah, where do I start? I first got the idea in July, in La Huerta tapas bar (no kidding), and it was supposed to be a series of drabbles/one-shots. But you know how these things go, and now it’s full series. If I ever finish it. (If I don’t, ping me. Seriously! I already know how it ends, why shouldn’t you)

The story starts after the events of Rourke’s ending, and it’s focusing on friendships and adventure rather than romance. It’s still based on my playthrough, where Taylor married Jake, so if you don’t like these two together, I’m sorry. If you do, I’m sorry.

Some parts were written in my first language and translated into English. I tried my best to find and fix any mistakes that happened in the process (and believe me, I won’t do it again, it’s twice the job), but if you see something I missed, feel free to tell me (that’s how I learn!). All mistakes are mine and mine alone. All characters (sadly) belong to Pixelberry. I’m just borrowing them for an eternity while.

Tags: @brightpinkpeppercorn @zaffrenotes @politicallycorrectinnocentteen @ifyouseekheart; thanks for the vote of confidence guys! I hope you either enjoy it or forgive me ;-) happy Thanksgiving, or just happy Thursday!

It’s all gone wrong Heaven hold us Where do we go When it’s all over? — Raign

To say things were bad, was to say nothing at all. It didn’t seem that way at first. Sure, the world would have been better without Rourke calling himself the emperor, but on the outside, things looked good. The sun was still shining, the sky was still blue, people still lived, loved, laughed. You couldn’t see something was wrong until you started digging. One day you could hear your neighbor murmuring some angry words at the government; the next, everyone pretended they never existed. If you knew who to ask, you could learn some rumors about friends-of-my-second-cousin who went into service and never came back. Or even darker stories about those who did—and weren’t the same people anymore.

And it was all Taylor’s fault.

There wasn’t a day when she didn’t regret her decision. Time after time, Rourke proved they shouldn’t trust him, and she still took his offer. What little powers she had, she gave up for a promise of a better life. All because Jake asked. That night was forever ago, but the look on his face kept haunting her. Every time she closed her eyes, she saw his blue eyes looking at her pleadingly, cheeks wet with tears—please, it would mean everything to me. He hated the guy’s guts and still begged her to go with his plan. She could, and should have, said no. She didn’t.

Not that there was much she could do, anyway. Yes, agreeing to Rourke’s plan wasn’t their only option. They could stay on the island and watch the world burn, or—she felt a pang of guilt—she could save them all by sacrificing herself. It would be the right thing to do, one life exchanged for billions of others. Movie heroes wouldn’t hesitate. Hell, even Mike didn’t, just moments earlier. Maybe if she was a better person...? No! No, one thing for sure, she wasn’t a selfish monster—at least that’s what she kept telling herself. It was just hard to believe it anymore.

“Nevermind,” she thought, shaking her head. What’s been done has been done, and thinking about what could have been was a waste of time. The world was full of people who signed up without reading the fine print, Taylor wasn’t the first, and she certainly wouldn’t be the last one. And as much as she hated to admit it, Rourke kept his end of the deal—kind of. Her friends might not remember her, but at least they were safe. Jake got Mike back, and they were both alive, just far from being fine. And she... she got the family she always wanted.

A brief smile crossed Taylor’s lips. Family. It was surprising, but Rourke did a great job picking her parents. They seemed like one of the good ones, and she sometimes wondered who they really were. Did he know them before it all happened? Were they a figment of his imagination that came true? Either way, it was easy to believe they were related. She somehow seemed to have both of her parents’ qualities combined; her father’s easygoing attitude and (a bit too short) temper, her mother’s charm, wit, and overprotectiveness. Even their appearance was on point, from the messy hair of her father to her mother’s calm smile. There were photos of their three together, keepsake boxes, scrapbooks, and the new memories of a happy childhood.

It was a beautiful picture, indeed. Only when the first excitement faded away, Taylor realized there was hardly anything more than that. There was no meaning and no depth behind the picture. A psychopath like Rourke wouldn’t know the difference, but she did. The most important things—love, affection, trust—were missing. No matter how hard she tried, how badly she wanted to believe it was all real, it didn’t work. Finally, one day, she snapped and tried to tell her parents the truth. Okay, she had to admit, maybe the Sunday dinner wasn’t the best time to do it—but there would never be a good time for it anyway. It didn’t go too well, and now that she thought about it, she couldn’t tell what she expected. Even Diego didn’t believe her story, why would they be different?

“Are you still with me, Taylor?”

She blinked a few times. Where was she? Ah, yes, the weekly therapy session. The argument caused her parents to show the first real emotion in months: fear. It wasn’t that surprising. The fact they weren’t afraid of her, but for her, was. Maybe they did care, after all. They didn’t report her to the thought police, or whatever name Rourke gave to his force; they brought a professional who was supposed to help.

“I’m sorry. I—it’s hard for me to talk about it.” God, when did she learn to lie like that? Ever since she realized her therapist was one of the people who loved the sound of their own voice, she spent their sessions daydreaming about one thing or another. The chatter was merely background noise, and all she did was coming up with a generic response when it stopped. No wonder the therapy wasn’t working at all.

“Ah, that’s understandable.” The therapist shot what was probably supposed to be an encouraging smile, but actually reminded Taylor about a giant barracuda. “As I said, the brain can create false memories, especially after traumatic events. It tries to protect you and replaces the painful memory with a fake one. It could be anything. Something from a book you have read, or a movie—”

Oh, if only you knew, Taylor smiled bleakly at the round-faced woman. It would have been a hell of a lot easier if it was just a book or a movie, or even something entirely made up by her imagination. Yes, her brain made up things to fill the void, only it wasn’t what they all thought. It made up all things that made her human. How was she supposed to live with that? She dropped her head and stared at her worn-out shoes when a sudden realization hit her like a hammer. Hell, her brain made up her own name. From a freaking sneaker label. How come she didn’t see it earlier?

Suddenly, she was ripped out of the office, hurtling through space and time, and when she opened her eyes, all she could see was red. She doubled over in pain, touching her forehead to her knees. She felt something sticky, and to her horror, realized it was blood. It was in her eyes, on her hands, her legs, the warm sand, everywhere—

“What’s your name?” She heard a faint whisper, and a weak hand grabbed her arm.

I can’t remember! She wanted to scream, but no sound came out. I don’t know. My name? Do I have one? I don’t think so. Should I? She lowered her head again, trying to stop it from spinning, and then she saw it. Yes. Might as well be it. Chuck doesn’t seem like a girl’s name, but—

“Taylor. My name’s Taylor.”

“I’m—” the hand she was holding went limp, and she knew it was over. Whoever it was, they were gone, and she didn’t even get to know their name. Gone, just like that. She looked around and realized they were all dead. Twelve young people, with their whole lives ahead of them, were now gone for good.

She was on her own.

Taylor gasped for air, and the sudden pain in her chest brought her back to reality. A small drop of blood fell onto her shoes, and she felt sick. It was just a flashback, a memory of a life that wasn’t even entirely her own—but it was too much. She pushed the chair, murmured an apology, and ran from the office. Air. She needed some air, stat, or else she’ll throw up. Everything seemed to blur in a hurry—

“Hey, watch out!”

“Oof! I’m so sorry!” Taylor steadied herself against the wall and took a deep breath. She recognized the voice, red hair, blue eyes, even the white shirt was the same. “I didn’t see you. Really sorry about that. Are you alright?”

“Yeah, I’m fine. My coffee, that’s another story. What—” The redhead gasped. “Oh, God. You’re bleeding.”

“It’s nothing. A little bloody nose, that’s all. I’m sorry about your coffee, Quinn.”

“Wait.” The redhead drew her brows together. “How did you know my name? Have we met?”

“Yeah. The first day of uni, by the fountain, remember me? I didn’t make the best first impression, I’m afraid.” Taylor chuckled, relieved. “And now I completely blew the second one. Why don’t we go to the cafe across the street and I’ll make it up to you. You know, third time’s the charm? Please?”

Quinn’s face fell. “I can’t. I have an appointment with Dr. Andrews.”

“I just left her office, and let me tell you, she sucks.” Taylor winced. “Big time. Please? I won’t tell anyone. And if you want to talk, I’m a good listener.”

“Ah, to hell with it. After you!” Quinn laughed, and they ran down the hallway, giggling like two fifth-graders skipping classes. They were already at the door when she stopped and looked over her shoulder with a frown. “Crap! She saw us.”

“Who?”

“My friend. Michelle. She’s an intern here.”

Taylor turned to look at another familiar face. With her white coat and hair tied into a high ponytail, Michelle looked almost like her older counterpart from Vaanu’s ember of hope. At least one of us is making her dreams come true, she thought with a smile. “Don’t worry. This one’s on me. If she gives you any trouble, you know who to blame!”

She was right about the third time being better than the previous two. They had one coffee, then another one, a few cupcakes, talked, laughed... almost as if they knew each other their whole lives.

“There you are! Why don’t you answer my calls?” Diego dropped into the chair and looked at them with reproach. “I finally got the perfect title! What do you think about Endless Summer—”

“Hello to you, too!” Taylor sneered and gestured across the table. “Diego, this is Quinn. Quinn, this is Diego. He’s my best friend. And we... kinda write a book together.”

“A graphic novel, actually.” He protested. “And it’s Taylor’s idea, only she says she couldn’t put two words together even if she tried. Now, I don’t mean to brag or anything, but I’m pretty good at it.”

“Yeah, only we don’t know anyone who can draw.”

“Actually... I can,” Quinn smiled broadly. “Well, I mostly paint, but I’m always up for a challenge. I can show you a few of my works... if you want me to?”

Taylor shared a look with Diego, and they both nodded vigorously. She pulled a sketchbook out of her backpack and handed it to them, blush rising up on her cheeks.

“I never showed this to anyone. Please don’t laugh. It’s just... I’m having these strange dreams, and I don’t want to forget them...”

They both stared at a picture of an impossibly enormous tree rising into the sky. There was a whole city carved into its side. Little huts perched on the branches and the wooden bridges hung between them, held together by vines. Diego inhaled sharply, and Taylor felt tears welling up in her eyes. Quinn remembered. The memories were buried deep within her, but they were there.

“Quinn...” She squeezed her hand gently. “Do you know what this is?”

“No. As I said, it’s from a dream. I can’t remember the name... I thought it was Yggdrasil, you know, the Norse tree of life? But it’s not that. It’s something similar, but when I wake up, I can’t remember it anymore.”

“Elyystel.” Diego recovered his voice. “Taylor, that’s gotta be the tree city you told me about. Quinn, you’re a genius. Welcome on board!”

#endless summer #endless summer fanfiction #playchoices fanfiction #long post

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alj4890 · 5 years ago

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Cheer Challenge Prompt

(Thomas Hunt x oc*Amanda) for day 21 of @jlpplays1-41daysofcheerchallenge of anticipation

(Thomas x Amanda) and all the other pairs going even further in the storyline of And Then I Met You

A/N Not quite a Christmas theme but still anticipation worthy. After Thomas and Amanda were able to give Kathleen her Christmas Wish of a new baby coming soon, I wanted to further explore what happens when they decide to find out what they are having.

@lxaah11 @alleksa16 @penguininapinktuxedo @blackcoffee85 @stopforamoment @hopefulmoonobject @krsnlove @annekebbphotography @cora-nova @hopelessromantic1352. @sunflowergirl05 @desiree-0816 @greywitchyshots @lilyofchoices @emceesynonymroll @dr-nancy-house @aworldoffandoms @ab1901 @pixieferry @lolablackwrites @flyawayboo @i-bloody-love-drake-walker. @trappedinfandoms

Masterlist

Plot Twist

Informal Living Room of The Royal Palace, Cordonia...

"Settle down everyone!" Liam called out. He waited patiently for his friends to cease talking. "Who would like to present their arguments first?"

Amanda nodded to Thomas. "After you."

"This is ridiculous." He muttered. "We do not need to base this decision on a vote!"

She glared at him while placing her hand on her very noticable baby bump. "I am tired of arguing this with you. We have reached an impasse. I am more than willing to bow down to the decision made here. If the majority votes for you, then I will not be angry nor hold it against you."

Thomas ran his hands over his face. He should have remembered how much more stubborn pregnancy hormones made his wife. "Fine." He stood up and went to the center of the room.

"This ought to be good." Olivia whispered.

Thomas cleared his throat.

"Come on, professor!" Addison yelled impatiently. She covered her mouth when he leveled the same disapproving look he used to give her when she was a film student.

Thomas looked around the room. His commanding presence made all still.

"I think we should wait. To not only discover we are pregnant once more on top of finding out that it's twins is an even greater gift. We decided to let Kathleen be a surprise--"

"I gave in." Amanda mumbled.

"Shhh." Liam ordered. "You can speak when it's your turn. Please continue, Thomas."

"As I was saying, Kathleen's birth was by far full of unending anticipation since we were unsure who we would meet. It was a moment I will never forget when the doctor held her up and said it's a girl. I don't want to miss out on that with our next two." Thomas paused for dramatic effect. "I know it is asking a lot, but I hope you will see it is the right way for us to go."

Liam nodded to Amanda. She struggled out of the oversized chair, thanked Ryan for his assistance, and took the spot Thomas had left. She cradled her belly and looked down. Color bloomed on her cheeks at having to speak before everyone.

"As sweet as it was to wait with Kathleen, I believe we should find out. We now have twice as much to plan for. Names, clothes, and I would like to have a nursery ready before bringing them home." Amanda looked up at Thomas. "The chance of us becoming pregnant after this is unlikely. If we do this then we will have had both types of pregnancy experiences: the excitement of the unknown and the thrill of planning everything."

Thomas released a deep breath. "Very well. We will find out."

"Wait! We don't get to vote?" Maxwell exclaimed.

Amanda swiped at the tears that fell down her cheeks. "Really? You won't be upset?"

Thomas got up and pulled her close for a sweet kiss. "How could I be upset with finding out who are children are?" He smiled softly when she hugged him tight. "I will admit now that I nearly caved with Kathleen."

She laughed and kissed him again. "So did I. Multiple times."

"I was ready to have a say on baby Hunt two and baby Hunt three." Addison cried out in frustration.

"Were we used for nothing but marriage counselling?" Drake teased. "And Thomas had my vote for the record."

"Mine too." Riley added.

"You must be joking. Amanda has mine." Olivia stated. "Preparedness guarantees victory. You're going to need it with twins and Kathleen."

"Oooh." Nadia grimaced. "I was all for Thomas until you reminded me of that. My vote is Amanda's."

"Clearly." Holly muttered. "She's the one thinking with her head instead of sentimentality."

Ryan turned around in surprise. "How can you expect a man to not be somewhat sentimental over the birth of his own children?"

Matt nodded. "Though we always find out because we have never been able to wait on anything." He winked at Addison. "We at least try each time and see if we can keep it a surprise."

"Three more for Lord Hunt!" Addison called out. "Liam, are you keeping score?"

"I am," he replied with a smile, "and added mine also to Thomas."

"You're winning." Amanda whispered.

"I know my audience." He whispered back, smiling when she started laughing.

Maxwell looked around the room and sighed. "Sorry Amanda, but Thomas's heartfelt speech won me over."

"Wow." Amanda looked up at Thomas. "Good thing I have you on my side."

"Yes it is." He grabbed her hand before she could poke his side.

"When do you find out?" Riley asked.

“I think what Riley meant to ask was, when do we find out.” Maxwell corrected.

"I have an appointment scheduled in three days." Amanda announced.

_______________

Upstairs in the playroom of the Royal Palace...

Kathleen sat at one of the tables, coloring a picture she had been working on for her mother.

“Kat! Come on! I need you on my team!" Xavier Beaumont yelled from the top of the pillow fort he had constructed.

"I'm coming." She finished sprinkling some glitter and studied her creation. Her lips firmed in a frown as she tried to see if she left any of her vision for it out.

"Nuh uh! Kathleen should be on our team!" Prince Emerick yelled back."

I want her to play tea party with us!" Ashley Rodriguez, her little sister Ally, and Mia Beaumont glared at the ones in the pillow forts, trying to steal their friend away on some stupid war.

"Lightsaber battle!" Juliet yelled. "I need another sith, Kat!" Prince Ellis and Marcus Rodriguez stood ready to fight as Jedi.

Kathleen looked up when everyone started arguing. She couldn't tell what had started it nor what they were fighting over, having tuned them out as she worked. She slipped out of her chair then escaped the room.

"And where do you think you're going?"

She turned around and ran over to Thomas. "I was going to look for you and Mommy."

He swung her up in his arms. "You haven't learned where everything is here. I don't want you getting lost."

She wrapped her arms around his neck. "Where's Mommy?"

"Taking a nap. Mommies with babies in their tummies need a lot of rest." He explained.

“Oh." She mumbled.

"I have a surprise for you." Thomas told her, smiling at the excitement on her face. "We are going to not only see the babies in Mommy's tummy but also if they are a boy or a girl."

"Really?" She asked. "Then I can say I have a baby brother!"

"And possibly a sister. You might have two little brothers or two little sisters. We won't know until we see them." He set her down and kissed the top of her head. “Why don’t you play some more and I will come get you when it is time for dinner.”

The playroom door swung open.

“Kat! I nearly died from the attack Emerick and Jackson threw at me. Michael is holding down the fort. I came to find you and take you to safety. Come on! Hurry!” Xavier grabbed her hand and pulled her giggling back into the playroom.

Thomas watched it all unfold with a slight frown.

Matt soon joined him in the hallway. “Everyone still alive in there?”

“So it seems. Your son, Michael, might have a future in the military. He is brave enough to hold down a pillow fort while his fellow soldiers go off on special missions.”

Matt opened the door some more to peep inside. He saw his two daughters sitting calmly among the chaos with Mia Beaumont, gossiping and sipping apple juice from tiny tea cups. His younger son Marcus was teamed up with his best friend, Prince Ellis, as they fought against a formidable Juliet Nevarkis-Walker.

Prince Emerick and Jackson Nevarkis-Walker had somehow talked Phoebe Summers into being on their side for the great pillow fort war. Kathleen waved to her from the other fort and laughed when Phoebe rolled her eyes at the ridiculousness of it all.

Matt chuckled as he shut the door. “Ryan went to check on the smaller ones in the nursery. He won’t believe it when I tell him that his little no nonsense girl is helping a future duke and a crown prince fight a pillow battle.”

“And somehow mine got involved on the opposing side.” Thomas shook his head. “Xavier Beaumont is part pied piper when it comes to Kathleen. She always gives in to his plans.”

Matt coughed on his laughter. “From the childhood stories I’ve heard from both Amanda and Maxwell, it looks like history is repeating itself.”

Thomas frowned even more. If history was to repeat itself, then his little girl would one day be heartbroken over Xavier only loving her as a friend.

“Come on.” Matt motioned with his head. “Drake has suggested a Hollywood vs Cordonian billiards game.” He had a smug grin on his face. “They have no idea that you play so well.”

___________________

The Night Before the Ultrasound...

“I’ve already begun a list of possible names.” Amanda explained.

“I always loved that part.” Riley sighed softly. “Thinking of the perfect name to match the new little one.”

“Making certain it is a name that they can carry into adulthood without embarrassment.” Drake added.

“Thankfully, we are pros at that.” Matt grinned at Addison.

“I’ve begun a list too.” Thomas remarked.

The children listened somewhat from their table as the adults laughed and talked.

“What’s the list for?” Ellis whispered to Kathleen.

“Mommy is having babies and she is trying to find names for them.” She whispered back.

“Oh.” He went back to his dinner.

“What are you gonna do?” Juliet asked.

“About what?” Kathleen looked at her friend in confusion.

“If it’s girls?” Her face scrunched up in disgust. “You should be the only girl.”

“Hey!” Ashley shook her fork at Juliet. “Having a baby sister is the best! It’s those brothers that can be the worst.”

Michael and Marcus stared at her for such a statement.

“Amen!” Little Mia exclaimed.

“Hey!” Xavier appeared hurt.

“Well, regardless,” Emerick said, trying to speak like his father though unsure what it meant. “Having babies changes everything.”

“Yes, they do.” Phoebe added. “They cry and don’t do anything fun yet. And mommy and daddy think Harper is so great. She can’t even talk!”

Ashley shook her head while wrapping her arm around her little sister Ally. “They are great!”

“You got her when you were too little to know better.” Phoebe countered. “It’s different for me and Kathleen. We’re more growed up and know stuff. Having a new baby is fun at first but they take too long to be able to play.”

Kathleen felt her initial excitement about her new siblings slowly die with Phoebe’s words.

“Yeah,” Jackson muttered. “Then parents keep telling you to wait while they take care of the baby first.” He grunted when Juliet kicked him under the table. “I remember some of it when you came!”

She glared at him once more before turning back to her friend. “You got to make sure you don’t lose your spot.”

Kathleen’s brow furrowed. “My spot?”

“With your parents.” Juliet explained while Phoebe nodded in agreement.

“How will I know if I lost it?” She asked, worry worming its way into her little heart.

“You’ll know.” Phoebe predicted ominously.

_______________

“Are you excited?” Amanda whispered to Kathleen as the ultrasound technician applied the KY jelly to her protruding belly. “You are about to see your siblings?”

Thomas chuckled when Kathleen nodded nervously. “I know I am.” He lifted Kathleen in his arms so she could see better. He slipped his hand in Amanda’s once their babies appeared on the screen.

Kathleen watched silently as measurements and such were taken.

“Ready to find out what these two are?” the tech asked.

“Yes!” Amanda and Thomas exclaimed at the same time then laughed at doing so.

“Twin number one is being modest, lets check on Twin number two. Oh. Do you see that?” The tech pointed at the screen.

“Is that his--” Thomas smiled when Twin two was announced as a boy.

“A boy!” Amanda covered her mouth as tears built up. She squeezed Thomas’s hand. “I get to have a miniature you running about.”

He bent down and pressed a sweet kiss to her lips.

Kathleen wiggled out of his arms and waited on finding out what twin one was. A baby brother wouldn’t make her lose her spot. Only a--

“There we go! Twin number one has decided to let us in on her secret. It’s a girl!” The tech began to pick through images to print off.

“A girl!” Thomas kissed Amanda again. “I see that I am still destined to be outnumbered by beautiful women.”

She laughed and looked for Kathleen. “Sweetheart! You will have a baby brother and a baby sister!”

“Oh!” Kathleen stared at the screen that had just destroyed her life.

Once Amanda’s belly was cleaned and they left after an appointment, the couple looked down at their little girl.

“My only hope is that they will be as sweet and perfect as you.” Amanda said to her.

“We know that you are going to be the best big sister. They will need you to always look out for them.” Thomas added.

Kathleen smiled at them as she thought of what she should do now. There really was only one option. She should run away before she lost their love. They would have a new daughter to take her place. A son would also take special time she had with them away. Why did I ask Santa for this?

_____________

While the parents of the children celebrated the future Hunt’s, Kathleen confided to Xavier her plan.

“But,” He began. “Kat, they will still make time with you. Phoebe’s parents still do her.”

“Yeah, but mine are having twins. More time away from me.” She mumbled.

He rubbed the back of his neck and looked around. “Where will you go?”

She shrugged her little shoulders. “I don’t know.”

Michael came over when he noticed Kathleen’s sadness. ‘What’s wrong?”

“Uh...” Xavier began.

“I’m going to run away.” Kathleen admitted.

Michael stared at her in shock. “But...you can’t! I want you to stay!” His little cheeks turned red at admitting to such love. Ashley would tease him nonstop if she knew he liked Kathleen like his dad liked his mom.

Kathleen dropped her head as tears fell silently. “I don’t want to leave you or mommy or daddy. I have to go. It was my wish that messed it all up.”

Before either could try and convince her not to, she hugged them each. “Bye.” Then she ran out of the playroom.

Michael ran out after her and looked down the hallway. He didn’t know which way she went.

“We have to tell!” He whispered to Xavier.

“Who though?” Xavier asked.

Emerick who had been spying on them in case they spoke of the next fort battle, joined them. “We’ll tell my dad.”

_______________

Liam snuck out of the room when he noticed the three boys trying to get his attention. He followed them to his study and sat down as each explained what and why this had happened.

“You did right in telling this. Kathleen could get lost or hurt. I’m very proud of the three of you making certain this does not happen.” Liam called Bastien in and formulated a search around the palace. “I don’t want to distress Amanda and Thomas with this until we are certain that Kathleen is truly missing. I will go outside and see if she is anywhere nearby. She might have decided to go to one of the places the children like to play.”

“She loves the wishing well.” Michael spoke up shyly. “She says that it really is real and hopes that one day it will give her a wish come true.”

Liam smiled softly. “Then that is where I will go first.”

______________

The Wising Well in the Palace Maze...

Kathleen climbed the slippery rocks and propped her elbows on the wishing well’s rim. “Uncle Liam told me stories about you.” She looked down at the stars twinkling in the water. “I know you have helped princes and princesses. I’m not one and I won’t wish for it. I just want to change my Christmas wish.”

She shivered as the temperature began to drop. She hoped the treehouse in the maze would be warmer when she moved in. “I still want my baby brother and sister, but can I wish that my parents love me just as much as they do now when the babies are here?”

She closed her eyes and whispered her wish a few more times. “How will I know if it was answered?”

“I know it has.” Liam spoke from behind her. His smile was tender when she turned around and ran into his arms.

“How do you know Uncle Liam?” She asked with tears falling.

He gently wiped them as he propped her on his lap. “I’m the king. Every king is granted the ability to know if wishes to this wishing well will come true. Your parents are going to not only love you just as much as they do now, but I believe that their love is going to grow more over time as they watch you and the twins grow up.”

She sniffed and looked up into his kind blue eyes. “You do?”

He nodded. “You must love the twins very much already to not want them to disappear.”

“I do.” She admitted. “I’ve been wanting a brother or sister for a long time.”

“Then you have nothing to worry about.” He promised.

Kathleen hugged him. “Do you think Mommy and Daddy will be mad that I was running away?”

Liam gently patted her back. “I haven't told them. And I won’t unless you decide to try this again. We all have moments where we sometimes want to run away from things that scare us or changes that are to come. What matters most is what we do about it. You wished for your family to be together and still love you. That was an unselfish wish. It is one that makes me very proud of you. I will reward such by letting this be our secret.”

She wiped her tears and thanked him. He smiled while standing up and wrapping his jacket around her. “Will you allow me to escort you back to the palace, Lady Kathleen?”

“Yes, please.” She murmured. She took hold of his hand and walked out of the maze.

_________________

“Liam? Have you seen--Kathleen!” Amanda hurried over to her. “Sweetheart, you can’t leave the playroom until you know your way around the palace. What would I do if I lost you?”

Kathleen’s face scrunched as tears started falling again. She threw her arms around Amanda while burying her face in her side.

“What’s wrong?” Amanda sat down in a nearby chair and looked up in question to Liam. “What happened?”

“I believe she is in need of reassurance.” Liam motioned to Amanda’s belly.

Understanding came swiftly. Thomas came around the corner and paused in concern. “What is it? What’s wrong?”

Liam whispered about Kathleen’s fears, leaving out her plan on running away. He noticed the three boys watching in concern from behind a suit of armor. He motioned for them to follow as he left the family to some privacy.

“Kathleen,” Amanda said softly. “Do you know why your father and I wanted to have another baby?”

She shook her head.

Thomas knelt down beside them both.

“Because of all the joy you have brought us.” Amanda replied. “We knew that if we got someone as wonderful as you then having another would be a blessing. We didn’t want you to feel alone in this world. Now you will have two that will look up to you and be a source of comfort whenever you need them. I know you will do the same for them with your loving heart.”

Kathleen sniffed and wiped her tears. “But you will have another girl. Will I still be your sweetheart?” She looked at Thomas. “Your darling or will she become those?”

“You will always be that.” Thomas promised. “Your new sister and brother will be just as loved as you are, but they can never take our love for you away. Our love for them will never be stolen either.”

Amanda kissed Kathleen’s forehead. “Just like we are trying to choose names for these two, we will end up choosing special names for them. You will be our only sweetheart and darling. They will be called something just as unique to them as yours are.”

Kathleen hugged them both, feeling reassured by their holding her close. She could feel the babies moving in Amanda’s tummy and smiled. “What are we going to call them?”

Thomas and Amanda shared a look. “We are still debating that. Do you have any suggestions?”

Kathleen tilted her head to the side as she looked down at her mother’s pregnant belly. “Hmm. I like Elizabeth.”

“Elizabeth Hunt.” Amanda smiled. “That is a very pretty name.”

Thomas nodded. “I think that would suit the one I saw this morning.”

Kathleen’s brow furrowed. “Ian for my brother.”

“Ian Hunt.” Thomas muttered. “I think that’s the name.”

“Elizabeth and Ian Hunt.” Amanda smiled with delight. “It’s perfect.”

#Thomas Hunt #thomas hunt x oc #thomas hunt x amanda #and then i met you #jlpplays1 #41 days of cheer challenge #liam trr #trr maxwell #pm nadia #trr drake #trr olivia #TRR Riley #rcd holly chang #rcd ryan #rcd addison #rcd matt rodriguez

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singsfromthesoul · 5 years ago

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‘Alice By Heart’ and AWAE

Okay so while I know we’re all reeling from the season finale and coming to grips with/fighting against the cancellation but I’ve been thinking about the overlaps between these two stories for months so bear with me. I’ve wanted to write an AU but haven’t because I can’t find AWAE equivalents for some of the ABH characters (esp the villains). I’m gonna try and gather the lyrics that most remind me of AWAE and its characters (bc honestly “And who knew what to do with all I felt for you, in the song of the afternoon...” just SCREAMS s3 shirbert).

‘Still’

Gilbert is obviously the Alfred/White Rabbit equivalent here, and I think this song works a lot with his character. Since the death of his father, Gilbert seems to want nothing more than to keep moving forward and, by consequence, grow up. I see this in Alfred’s desire to outrun the clock (and his own death) and Alice’s insistence that he stay with her in this moment (a very Anne thing to do, I would say).

[Alfred]

“Oh, I'm ahead of my time Still If I keep moving Forward, and I fall behind Still So much to do when

But how can I stop the clock in me When I'm chasing me Still Time is chasing me Still”

[...]

[Alice]

“Stay Where the grasses sway The river stopped moving Here, with the lazy blue day Your roses just blooming

So why can't we linger and dream?

Walk with me

Still Linger on with me Still”

‘Those Long Eyes’

There’s not a whole lot to this one, only that I was thinking about it A LOT when the 3x05 dance happened bc it’s got some really nice waltz-y vibes. Also, the description of “his hard shell and those long eyes” reminds me of Ruby’s assessment that Gilbert is a sad and handsome boy.

“[CHESHIRE PUSS] Just hold her by the claws and whisper, "Lobs Let’s give this tide" Dance, and give yourself to his hard shell And those long eyes”

[...]

“ [ALICE, CHESHIRE PUSS, WHITE RABBIT] Just hold her by the claws and whisper, "Lobs Let's waltz all night" Dance, and give yourself to nothing else But those long eyes Waltz and waltz all night Ignore the tide In those long eyes”

‘Sick to Death of Alice-ness’

The argument within this song is the painful one of people who know each other well enough to hit where it hurts. Which we hate, obviously. However, we know that Gilbert hasn’t held back in terms of calling Anne out if the situation calls for it. This one gives me vibes of the misunderstandings of early s3 but especially the argument (if it even can be called that) in s1 after Gilbert’s dad’s funeral.

[MAD HATTER, DORMOUSE, & MARCH HARE/ALFRED]

“Stop the analyzing Of everything you've read No more making nice with us We don’t want in your head”

It’s interesting how the argument makes Alice’s insecurities rise in a way we haven’t seen up to that point, and how closely they mirror Anne’s. Her struggles and awareness of them can sometimes blind her to those of others.

[ALICE] “It's all about your pain

[MAD HATTER & DORMOUSE] Alice-ness

[MARCH HARE/ALFRED] Sorry, but whose pain?

[MAD HATTER & DORMOUSE] Sick to death

[ALICE] You'll leave me all the same”

‘Brillig Braelig’

This is a tricky one because the lyrics are kinda gibberish but hit the mood somehow. The Jabberwocky teases Alice about Alfred’s impending death with a lot of medical gibberish and she argues that she won’t let it happen. There’s also the idea of the Jabberwocky as an abstract, the sorrow that we let creep into our heads and make itself comfortable there. I think both Anne and Gilbert have a lot of this and that the defiant stance that Alice takes is very Anne-like. No idea who could be the Jabberwocky equivalent though.

[JABBERWOCKY] “There was a day the world was made Of you and room and catch- And then one day the sorrow came And you moved into that And then callai a Jabber came And made his room your mind And jabber-ached and jabber-played And jabber all the time”

[...]

[ALICE] “Words aren't what you say they mean He's not some diagnosis

[JABBERWOCKY & SOLDIERS] This is where your story ends Go down your hole and hole up

[ALICE] Senseless, heartless idiot I will not give his soul up!”

‘Some Things Fall Away’

The Cheshire Cat (played in ABH by a female actress) has a conversation with Alice about the nature of loss. Honestly I kinda really want Ms Stacy to be Cheshire here even though it’s also a moment that could easily come from Marilla as well. I’ll link the lyrics because the whole song is beautiful.

“Shadows pause at the window Meet their gaze Their grief is yours”

‘Isn’t it a Trial?’

Season 3 in particular, has Anne teetering on the line between childhood and adulthood. This song features Alice being put on trial for having the sheer audacity to grow up. It talks about the confusion of being stuck between the two and how feelings of attraction can begin to mark the line between phases. It hits a lot of interesting sweet spots but I can’t think of a good equivalent for the Queen of Hearts.

[QUEEN OF HEARTS] “Shall we have a song For the girl gone naughty Somehow feels so wrong Now to have that body Rabbit got so big What's his mama fed him Don't you feel a pig Still you want to pet him

Well, isn't it a trial To try and stay a child The world no longer fits And still you're stuck in it Isn't it a trial No child can stay a child”

‘I’ve Shrunk Enough’

Alice decides that growing up is, in fact, not a crime and with the help of Alfred-as-the-White-Rabbit and Cheshire she gtfo’s out of the trial. Once again, Alice’s defiance and refusal to play by the rules imposed by others is very Anne-like.

[ALICE] “No queen can make of me A mouth without a scream”

[...]

“No shuffling with my soul My highness is your low Stand back and watch me grow

[ALICE & CHESHIRE PUSS] Oh, and I am hugest Faced with fools like you, yes Schooled by your abuses But you're out of time Growing up is not a crime”

[...]

[ALICE & WHITE RABBIT] “Go back to being pictures in my dreams You're nothing but a hatter holding tea Telling riddles not worth answering It's done, I'm done, I've shrunk enough”

‘Afternoon’

Alice and Alfred say their final goodbyes as Alfred succumbs to his illness. But that’s hella tragic and if I did, in fact, write that AU I wouldn’t kill Gilbert off because I just couldn’t. However this is the moment when Alfred and Alice speak most plainly about their feelings and and I get shirbert vibes from some of it.

[ALFRED] “I knew you were a strange girl or I thought you were You mustered all the wonder from the room of hurt We knew the world of summer Like a sister, like a brother And the melodies were sweeter left unheard”

[...]

[ALICE] “And who knew what to do With all I felt for you In the song of the afternoon Afternoon”

‘Winter Blooms’

Alice learns to deal with her sorrow, instead of running away from it. Much in the same way that Anne eventually decides to let go of her imaginary friends and worlds as a coping mechanism and face the world head on. In both cases, it’s a sign of growth and maturity. And in the case of Anne, it’s not even necessary to kill off the love interest to achieve it.

[ALICE SPENCER & TABATHA] “Nothing comes or goes without a shadow Somewhere in the soul you hold a candle Let the sorrow go, it's half the battle”

These were some of my thoughts on the subject, I’m totally up for discussion and ideas! I’d love to make this AU happen but I don’t really know how and it certainly doesn’t help that the plot of this musical is so loose.

#awae #anne with an e #alice by heart #shirbert #this got waayy longer than expected and took pretty long to write as well #join me in my holy mission to think up incredibly niche aus that nobody wants but haunt me

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mrsslrss · 5 years ago

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2019.

Welcome to my annual accounting of things I loved, 2019 edition.

I’m realizing the pattern here is to start this with a reflection of how I rang in the year but 2019 crept in pretty calmly: no big bugs to kill, no spontaneous sobs to a Sharon Van Etten song. On the first day of this year, I woke up and cleaned the house and, I don’t know, probably went to Big Bear and got a coffee and took a nap. Since it’s nearly the end of the decade, I could start there, but I couldn’t tell you where I was for New Year’s Eve, 2009; if I had to guess, I’d put myself at a friend’s house on the North Shore, drinking PBR with the guys and listening to pop-punk. That winter I was convinced I wouldn’t return to Poughkeepsie, I was so miserable, but when I did things started to fall into place.

I think my goal for this year was roughly something like, Just put your head down and do the work. When you are tempted to get fed up and wither from frustration or have a big ego about not getting what you want, just put your head down and do the work. I don’t know if I did that, exactly, if I really stuck to the goal, but every so often in a particularly challenging moment the goal would come into focus at the front of my mind and I’d sigh and acquiesce and nod at the work ahead of me. I got a lot done, I think; in this way I got a lot done. It was nice to be reminded about how the process can be the goal -- something I thought about a lot this year. Sometimes the goal looks like a result, but it’s really the habit I’m after.

I’d like to keep that up next year. 2019 was a year of cultivating; 2020, maybe, will be a year of action. Or maybe not! Maybe nothing flowers until 2021 or beyond. Or maybe I start tearing things up by the roots in 2020, who knows!

So anyway. Here’s to 2019, and here’s a list (more or less alphabetized -- why not!) of ten things that helped me make it through.

annie’s homegrown birthday cake bunny grahams

My official snack of the year. Over the summer I was visiting MZ in Brooklyn and we got snacks at their neighborhood grocery store and I bought these, which are meant to celebrate the 30th anniversary of this snack company, taste like funfetti cake, and are definitely meant for/marketed to children. But anyway I ate the whole box and then sought them out at every Whole Foods in my vicinity (because I went online and WH is apparently basically the only place you can find them?) and started preaching the good word to anyone who was looking for a snack. By, like, September I had eaten so many of these that I could no longer stomach them, so I’ve been on a brief hiatus, but still: snack of the year.

keeping lists

I started this year with a big digital spreadsheet called “2019 things” where I intended to keep lists: all the new albums and songs that struck me, all the old albums and songs I got obsessed with, the places I wanted to travel in the year. I kept adding tabs: the books I finished, my financial priorities, stuff I wanted to make sure to read or watch. I was pretty diligent about updating them -- I wrote down every book I read, but definitely forgot to add a couple albums; I never made it to Philly this year. I started keeping gratitude lists (analog) towards the end of year, too, because in college a friend told me it helps rewire the brain away from pessimism, or something.

meditation

Before this year, I’ve never had a serious relationship with meditation, but it always seemed like the kind of thing I would like. In mid-January I got struck by the urge to try it, so I did, and kept it up for a few days, and then I fell off, and then I got back on, and now, somehow, it’s been three-hundred-something days of it in a row. I have learned to find a quiet moment in a nice corner of my room before work, but also in a tent in the Catskills, in a guest room in Wales, in a hotel in Georgia, on a walk through Brooklyn, in my childhood bedroom. My life and brain don’t feel, like, enormously different or changed, but that’s good; it feels useful to keep showing up to something without expectation.

my siblings

Having a big family means every year is inevitably a big year for someone, but this was, somehow, a big year for all of my siblings. Mostly good things: health and healing, a wedding and a graduation, a license acquired and a course of study started and jobs well done. It doesn’t feel good to get into the hard stuff here, but there was a lot of that, too -- a lot of grueling bullshit overcome. After the wedding I almost texted everyone just to say how proud I was of all of them, but naturally I chickened out. But I really am proud!

navy blue

Longtime readers of, uh, *gestures wildly* whatever this is may recall that last year I claimed I only wore black but might be interested in navy blue? This year I determined that navy blue is so good: the color of the deep ocean, the night sky, my first Catholic school uniform. I bought navy jumpsuits, a sweatshirt, a scrunchie. I wore navy-adjacent eyeliner just in the corners of my eyes most days of July and August and September. I’m wearing a navy blue sweater right now. A good year for navy.

“not” by big thief

My song of the year, which I knew from the first time I heard it. So much of this year (the news, the planet, global catastrophes, mass violence, etc. not to mention personal failures) felt hopeless and dreadful, but also so constant and exhausting that I wasn’t sure I could keep summoning anger, never mind do it in a useful way. I love this song because it is about abjection in the same way it isn’t about anything, about absence as presence, about not-knowing as knowing. It is desperate without being hopeless, explosive without being violent, or maybe: violent without being harmful. It’s about transcending language and different kinds of language and using whichever tools you have (Words are good enough). It’s about being swallowed whole by the everything-ness, a theme that came up in so much of the work I loved this year, the subject of an essay I’ll never write (lol). Music Twitter™ got into an argument about whether this band is good; I feel so sure of my love for this song (and most of what this band does) that I, for once, didn’t immediately assume I was a fool, or being had, just because someone disagrees with me. Instead it felt delicious and special to resonate with a thing that doesn’t resonate for everyone, a rare and generous experience for me. Imagine that.

pottery

At the beginning of the year I signed up for a ten-week session of pottery classes at a studio in Georgetown, and then when I told M, he wanted to join (by which I felt incredibly endeared). Then it became ten more weeks, then ten more, and since then we’ve gone nearly every Thursday night. Some things that are nice: learning to to make something with my hands, especially after staring at a screen all day; not being able to look at my phone or read the news for several hours (related: so many of the Democratic debates happened on Thursday nights!); having a standing weekly date with my favorite person. Nearly everyone in our lives got lumpy bowls, vases, etc. for Christmas this year, of which we are very proud.

“rooms on fire” by stevie nicks

This year, Stevie Nicks became the first woman be inducted into the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame twice and so Rolling Stone interviewed her about her fabulous career. In the interview, Rob Sheffield said his favorite song of hers is “Ooh My Love” from The Other Side of the Mirror, which is an album I had never listened to before, so I started listening and the first song just hooked me. It’s so dramatic and magical and moody! It’s right up there on the Apple Music-generated playlist of my most-played songs of the year.

stockholm

For several years one of my repeated resolutions was “go to Scandinavia.” Sweden has always been the big goal, but Oslo seemed possible for a minute, and in 2013 I did briefly entertain the idea of going to graduate school in Finland. (Imagine!) This year I got really fed up of having not really, you know, taken a proper vacation since starting my job, so I took a full week off after my sister’s wedding and planned a solo trip to Stockholm. Each day of my trip I woke up whenever I woke up and I explored a different island; I went for long runs, drank coffee, ate kardemummabullar, took the subway across town, saw a one-of-a-kind Viking ship. I burst into tears at the Moderna Museet, ate through a vegetarian tasting menu at the Fotografiska, had an extremely lovely spa experience. I read three books in a week. I loved every second of it.

wigs

I bought a big gaudy pink wig this spring in anticipation of seeing Sasha Velour’s one-woman show in New York -- or, I told myself I bought it for that reason, but I think I really just wanted the possibility of wearing a big gaudy pink wig at will. After the Sasha show, I wore it to see Robyn at The Anthem, and was delighted when, after I put a picture on Instagram, a handful of people in my life thought I had a) dyed my hair pastel pink and b) grew my hair ~half a foot over the weekend. (I wish!) I think I’ll wear it for our house’s beach-themed NYE party, too.

everything else

frequent, long drives with M; songs about solidarity; the #saltypod; custom t-shirts; craving waffles; having an e-reader; the concept of “the archive”; choosing kindness; threatening to move to rural new england to work on a farm; being in love

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mitchmarnier · 6 years ago

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status pending.

Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier (Reddie) | Chapter Two | 2.1k

Richie stalled for a moment, lowering his phone away from his face and looking up at Stan across the room. His best friend was tossing clothes into his drawers, re-packing up his childhood bedroom after getting home from university.

“Hey so,” Richie cleared his throat awkwardly, hands starting to shake. “I don’t know what the fuck is happening.”

[or: Richie makes a joke. Eddie responds outside the realm of expectation and now not one person has any fucking idea what’s going on at all.]

“Are you nervous?” Stan asked slowly, eyeing Richie cautiously. His best friend had gone through three separate outfits before settling on a surprisingly tame outfit of a stripped maroon and black shirt, tucked into black shorts. Richie had gone with wearing his thick rimmed glasses that day, even going as far as to highlight his water line with eye liner than Stan didn’t even know his best friend owned, and even Stan had to admit he looked good.

Richie had his fingers tugging on a couple of his tighter curls so they would match the way the rest fell more softly, and his eyes went wide. “What? Why would I be nervous? What are you talking about?”

Stan gave Richie a look that implied he was crazy, which was a look that Richie had received a great many times in his life. “Uh, because you asked Eddie out as joke and he said yes and this is the first time you’re going to see him since?”

Richie swallowed audibly, a scratched at his now flushed cheek. “I… Eddie must know that I was just joking. I’ve been jokingly flirting with him since we were kiddos, he’s never taken it seriously before.”

Stan raised his eyebrows. “Where you jokingly flirting with him- or were you flirting with him for real, and he never took it seriously so you just played it off as jokes?”

Richie tossed his little black pencil eyeliner towards Stan and it pegged him in the middle of the forehead. Stan let out an annoyed whine, and rubbed at the quickly reddening spot. “Because I’ve never seen you put so much effort into looking good before, so I’m going to lean towards assuming it’s because you’re at least kind of hoping Eddie was serious about saying yes and you want to look good when you see him.”

“I’ll have you know, Staniel,” Richie said in mock-haughty voice, all while grinning wildly. “That I’ve become the fashion icon I was always meant to be in California. The place has done wonders for me.”

Stan knew at least that much was true, he’d noticed it himself, and decided his best course of action was simply let Richie stew in his own denial. Turning away, Stan didn’t notice Richie’s phone pinging or the pale look of panic that crossed his face when he looked at it.

Eddie Kaspbrak has himself listened as in a relationship with you! Do you wish to confirm? Mark as Spam.

Richie swallowed roughly, twisting his head over his shoulder and glancing at Stan’s going through his own belongings to find something to wear that day. It was the first day of summer that all the Losers would be back in Derry, which meant it was going to be a lit party without fail. There wasn’t any true reason that they needed to look good, but they all liked to anyway.

Richie turned back around and confirmed Eddie’s relationship request.

Eddie looked good, but that wasn’t anything new or surprising to Richie. He’d grown his hair out since moving from Derry- no doubt an argument with his mother when she saw him- and there were now soft curls around his ears. It seemed Eddie had ditched his pastels and khakis when he’d gotten to New York, now rocking some ripped black jeans and a Nirvana T-shirt so oversized Richie had to wonder when Eddie had stolen it from him, matching with an acid washed denim jacket tossed over himself despite the discomfort it must have brought him in the summer heat. He even had a navy green coloured beanie pressed over his curls, one that Richie knew he had kept from his ex-boyfriend, Martin, when they’d broken up around Thanksgiving.

Martin had been some douchebag musician, that everybody had told Eddie wasn’t good enough for him and Eddie hadn’t listened through their entire relationship. He’d cheated on Eddie while he’d been away for school, claiming it to be great inspiration for a song. Eddie seemed to have taken it in great stride, and been more than happy to continued wearing all the clothes he’d brought with him to school that belonged to the scum bag.

“Hi,” Eddie said, beaming up at Richie and seeming a little bit breathless. The smile that came across Eddie’s face made Richie’s heart feel a little tense.

“Did anybody tell you that it’s summer?” Richie asked lightly, reaching out and rubbing at the winter hat on Eddie’s head. “You must be roasting.”

Eddie knocked Richie’s hand away from his hat, and after only a moment of hesitating, he pulled their hands together to their sides and tangled their fingers together. Richie’s gaze dropped down to their hands in surprise, smiling at how small Eddie’s hand looked in his. It was a sight Richie could definitely get used to.

“HEY! Idiots!” Beverly’s voice came out to them, seemingly endlessly amused. Richie startled, moving to pull his hand away from Eddie’s but Eddie’s grip on him tightened and he couldn’t. Eddie tugged on Richie’s hand and they turned to follow the others, walking hand-in-hand. Neither of them saw Mike pulled out his phone and snap a photo of them from behind, but they supposed they couldn’t be surprised.

When Richie connected to the Denbroughs house WiFi, his phone was immediately blowing up. Heart racing, Richie yanked at his phone only to catch Eddie doing the same. Some how it hadn’t occurred to Richie that confirming Eddie’s relationship request would have created a post on their Facebook timelines- and thus, an utter uproar. In just the short hour since Richie had confirmed it, it had racked up a whopping 178 reactions and 26 comments.

Elizabeth Ripsom: AYYYYY IT’S ABOUT DAMN TIME!!

Edward Corcoran: im still trying to decide if this is a best friends thing or a gay thing

Martin Campbell: ??????????????????????????????

Richie couldn’t help smiling slightly at the distress comment from Eddie’s shitty ex, penned out a quick just because it’s a best friends thing, why should that ever mean it isn’t gay? in response to Eddie Corcoran and just as he was about to lock his phone it pinged with another notification.

Mike Hanlon tagged you in a photo!

Frowning, Richie clicked it open and found himself staring down at a picture of himself from not even twenty minutes earlier, hand-in-hand with Eddie. Richie had his head turned to the side, grinning widely while Eddie seemed to be mid-sentence. Richie could practically see the heart eyes emoji pasted over his face, and it made him cringe. Mike’s caption was a very simple “we stan” with a heart eyes emoji companying it, and Richie couldn’t help but roll his eyes as he noticed the image had already gotten more than 30 likes in the past minute.

“This is hot gossip for everybody, huh?” Richie forced out a chuckle. He looked around at his friends, who all seemed to be giving him different levels of confused looks while Mike grinned deeply at him.

Eddie let out an excited noise, looking at his own phone. “Oh, Mike! That’s so fucking cute, I love it!”

Richie startled, remembering how much Eddie had protested ever taking photos with Martin. They’d had a few selfies together on Eddie’s phone- that he’d purged over Skype with Richie after the break up- but he’d never allowed them online. He posted pictures of Martin- all also purged- onto his Instagram pretty often, but it was never pictures of them together.

“I’ll give you ten bucks to make that your profile picture, Eddie,” Beverly said, already tossing her backpack onto the Denbrough’s couch.

Eddie laughed, turning his phone screen around to show her the Facebook app. “Jokes on you, I was doing it anyway- but I’ll still take the ten bucks.”

Beverly shrugged, pulling her wallet out. “I’m not even mad.” She said, handing a cheek-looking Eddie the bill. Richie shook his head, confused, and sat onto the arm of the armchair Eddie was sitting in. He leaned over slightly just enough to watch Eddie’s profile load the new profile picture… the picture of them, holding hands.

Eddie tilted his head back and smiled up at Richie. Richie, suddenly feeling unable to control his body, snatched the toque off Eddie’s head and quickly placed it onto his own. Eddie chuckled slightly, rolling his eyes.

“That clashes with your outfit horribly,” Eddie pointed out, stretching out and letting his arm come to rest on Richie’s knee. His fingers rubbed at the bare skin almost absentmindedly, staring up at Richie as though he were some sort of interesting find under a microscope. It made Richie’s skin sting a little bit where Eddie touched him.

“When have I ever cared about my outfit matching?” Richie laughed, dropping his hand on top of Eddie’s. Simply for the purpose to get Eddie to stop moving his damn fingers.

Eddie raised his brow, smiling slightly. He tilted his head to the side, head nearly resting on Richie’s arm and Richie’s breath caught in his throat. “Your outfit seems to match pretty nicely today.”

“That’s alllll for you, darling,” Richie said with a waggle of his brow. Flirting with Eddie was something he could definitely do. Something he was more than good at, something he’d been doing his whole life. He leaned in towards Eddie the way he always would, but froze when Eddie seemed to lean back towards him.

“Are we getting high or not?” Stan cut through him, maybe in a classic Stan fashion, but also maybe because he saw the panic that rushed across Richie’s face. The room still erupted in excited responses, but Richie got caught up in Eddie’s acceptance.

“Really?” He asked, leaning forward to Eddie. His arms moved comfortably around Eddie’s mid-section, letting him slip in behind Eddie and holding Eddie close. “You know you don’t ever have to.”

“I know,” Eddie said, twisting his head to look at Richie. “I got really curious about it at school, but I wanted the first time I tried it to be with you guys.”

Richie couldn’t think of a good response to that, so he settled with squeezing Eddie like a child would hug their stuffed animal for comfort. Eddie tilted his head back in an almost unnatural angle to kiss Richie’s cheek lightly.

Bill made a loud gagging noise, throwing some sort of flannel shirt that was resting at the couch at them. “You two muh-make me sick.”

“Don’t hate us just because you’re not us,” Richie called over, pressing a too loud and too wet kiss to Eddie’s forehead for show. It was the type of thing Richie had always done, but instead of Eddie squawking and pushing Richie away, he let out a small laugh and actually leaned in closer to Richie’s body. Richie wondered if Eddie could feel how his heart was pounding.

Richie wasn’t quite sure what possessed him to turn down the bong when it came around to him, but he was beyond thankful for it as he rubbed at Eddie’s back while the poor boy was throwing up into Bill’s bedside garbage. Eddie had brought the whole basket up to rest in his lap, and every Losers had disappeared to sit on the front porch once Eddie had started puking.

Richie had known that last bong was a mistake for Eddie- he shouldn’t have tried to keep up Bev and Stan in terms of smoking, anymore than somebody should try to keep up with Ben in terms of drinking- and Richie had said as much to Eddie. This didn’t feel particularly like a good I told you so moment, so Richie held his tongue and made a point to say it to Eddie later.

He was still rubbing Eddie’s back when the door creaked open and Ben came in. He gave a soft smile and shook his head. “How are we doing?”

Eddie groaned something unintelligently, and Richie patted his back once before standing and walking over towards Ben. Richie let out a tired sight that was beyond his control and Ben held his arms out. Richie fell forward into them, and smiled at how strongly Ben always hugged. Richie supposed that Ben’s hugs were the peak of platonic comfort.

“You’re a good boyfriend, Rich,” Ben said quietly, quietly enough that Richie knew Eddie wouldn’t be able to hear him. “I’m not going to tell anybody, I’ll tell everybody out there just you’re just sitting on your phone looking at memes.”

Richie chuckled, but had to wonder if he could be a good boyfriend, if he wasn’t sure he was a boyfriend at all.

#reddie #reddie fic #richie tozier #eddie kaspbrak #my writing #status pending #THEY'RE SO STUPID!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#eddie is grungey and richie is preppy and you can FUcking fight me #when youre dating your best friend but you dont know if youre ACTUALLY dating him #but youre in love with him #maybe

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fullmetalscullyy · 6 years ago

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I really love your writing, especially your royai oneshots with a hurt or upset roy and a comforting riza. Maybe you could write a sequel to the oneshot when Riza finds out Roy's parents are dead and maybe a few weeks later, she gets up the courage to ask him how they died and he finally tells her about it and gets a little emotional when he's telling her, so she gigs him and holds him while he tells her?

ahhh teenage royai is good for the soul so thank you for this request!!! (and thank you for the excuse to do a sequel uwu) comfort royai is best royai

Rizashifted her weight from foot to foot. She was nervous. Her hands were beingwrung together in front of her as she moved, trying desperately to try andformulate the right words she wanted to say in her head.

It’dbeen a few weeks since her and Roy’s argument. She still wasn’t proud of whatshe’d said and since starting fresh, their friendship budding nicely, Riza hadtried at every moment to make it up to him.

Losingone’s parents was not a pleasant experience. Riza had lost her mother young, too young, so never got to experiencethat loss. All she knew was growing up without a mother was extremelydifficult, made even harder by the fact she was a constant disappointment toher father.

Shehad no idea just how old Roy had lost his parents, but tonight she wouldhopefully find out.

Ithad been knowing at her for weeks and Roy had noticed. Her childlike curiosityhad gotten the best of her and she’d finally plucked up the courage to ask.After all, she knew what it was like to lost a parent. She could help him withit.

“Hey,”Roy greeted suddenly, making Riza jump in fright. She was in the back garden,the early summer sun high in the sky as it blanketed them both in its heat.There was a gently breeze that tugged at her golden hair. Her fringe constantlyfell across her eyes and tickled her face, causing Riza to push it off her facein irritation frequently. It didn’t help that the heat was causing the hair tostick to her face, making her even more uncomfortable.

Rizahad never enjoyed the heat.

“Hey,Roy.”

“What’sup?” he asked, flopping down on the grass beside her. He lay back on the gentlehill, sliding both hands behind his head as he stared up at the cloudless sky.“You said you had something to ask me?”

“Uh,yes. I did,” she replied. Now the moment was here, Riza didn’t think she coulddo it. The nerves in her stomach increased ten-fold now Roy was close and shewas just about to chicken out, then he spoke.

“Doesthis have something to do with what we discussed… that day?” he asked,tactfully bringing up their argument.

Rizanodded. “Yes.” Her voice squeaked unintentionally. “I’m sorry, I don’t want topry. If you don’t want to talk about it, you don’t have to. I just thought wecould help each other.”

“Inwhat way?” he asked, a question mark on his face.

Rizatook a deep breath, biting the bullet. “I know what it’s like not to grow upwith your parents,” she whispered. Although her father was still alive, he’d beas well being dead, that’s how much he paid attention to and cared for Riza.

Silenceensued and Riza cringed.

“I’msorry.” She begun to stand. “I didn’t want to upset you –”

“It’sokay,” he reassured her, his tone soft. He clasped her wrist gently, stoppingher from leaving, yet still giving her the opportunity to go if she desired.“We can talk about it.”

“Areyou sure?”

Roynodded. “Yeah, of course,” he smiled. It wobbled uncertainly.

Tentatively,Riza sat back down in the silence, thinking how to start.

“Mymother died when I was three,” she began, thinking that starting off with herown experience would be a good start, rather than pushing Roy to share hisstory. A show of trust. “It was due to complications of childbirth. It wasquick, I was told, sudden.” My fatherblames me for it. “I never really knew her. I don’t even know what shelooks like. Not really.”

“Aren’tthere any pictures?” Roy asked, his concern and sympathy leaking through.

Rizashook her head. “None that I’ve ever seen.”

“That’sreally sad,” he stated. Risking a glance at his face Riza almost blushed at thesympathy she saw there. Instead, she just shrugged to cover it up.

“Ithappened a long time ago and I never really knew her so I don’t feel like I canmiss her. If that makes sense?”

“That’s…Riza, I’m sorry.” He took her hand in his, giving it a quick squeeze. Shealmost blushed again at the sudden affection.

Eversince they’d made up the pair had become closer. She continued to help him withhis studies while jokes and laughter flowed more easily between them. Riza hadforgotten how nice it was to laugh, and she would always remember that it wasRoy who’d brought it back into her life. He was a true friend, someone Rizawould never want to lose.

“It’sokay,” she stated, turning to face him. “Really. Thank you, though.”

“Ofcourse. And if you ever want to talk about it, just let me know.”

“Iwill,” she smiled gratefully.

“Myparents…”

Aftera brief silence, Riza made an attempt to reassure him. “It’s okay if you don’t wantto talk about it.” She suddenly felt very foolish trying to bring up the topicof his parents. Just because she didn’t mind talking about, didn’t mean everyonedid.

“It’sall right.” Roy took a deep breath before continuing. “Honestly, it’s fine. I…I want to. I want to tell someone. That would be nice.”

“Okay…If you’re sure. Take your time.”

Andso Roy begun to tell the tale of his childhood before moving to live with hisaunt in Central. It had been a happy one. He’d been well loved by both hisparents. Riza felt a pang of jealousy, never truly getting to discover thatfeeling herself. Until Roy had entered her life, she’d never wondered what itwould be like to be loved by both parents. Now, she did.

“Then…”Roy trailed off and he sniffed. Riza was alert, her head snapping around toface his. It was just out of view as he’d turned away from her. “They… Theywent out one night for dinner.” His voice was thick with emotion. His breathcaught and when he spoke again it wavered. “They never came home.”

“Roy?Are you okay?” Riza asked, very concerned. Was he… crying? She’d never seen himcry before. That time in the rain… She hadn’t been able to tell if he’d beencrying or not but this… This was so much worse. He was so open, the emotionclear in his tone and no doubt on his face.

Shewasn’t sure she wanted to see it.

Herubbed his face with the back of his hand, still not turning to face her.

“Yeah,”he whispered. “I’m fine.”

No,he wasn’t.

Rizareached out and placed a hand on his shoulder. He froze under her touch. Thathand slid over his shoulders to the opposite side and she shuffled closer to him.Her body was pressed up against his side as she hugged Roy against her. Finally,Riza placed her head on his shoulder and held him as he cried silently.

Theyremained that way for a long time. Roy eventually stopped crying and Riza didn’twant to let go of him. Not yet. Not while he was suffering like this. She knewhis plight and his pain, and she wouldn’t leave him to suffer it himself likeshe’d been left to do all those years.

Riza wouldn’twish that fate on her worst enemy.

* * *

“Ijust wanted to say thank you for the other day. It was nice to talk about themagain.”

Rizasmiled, closing her book. She looked up to find him standing in the doorway, handsin his pockets, and shoulders hunched close to his ears.

“Itwas my pleasure. They sounded like great people.”

Roybeamed, unable to stop himself. “They were. I… I found something in youfather’s study the other day,” he added, suddenly seeming very nervous. Thetips of his ears turned pink. Was he blushing?“And I thought you might want it. It was hidden underneath a lot of books, so Idon’t think he’ll miss it.”

“Whatis it?”

Royhanded her a folded-up piece of paper. “Take this as a thank you,” he stated.“For everything.”

Royturned and left – rather quickly, Riza noticed – and she frowned. Glancing downat the paper she turned it, trying to figure out what it was. Prying it openRiza felt tears spring to her eyes.

Itwas a picture of her as a baby being held in her mother’s arms.

#royai #royai fic #royai fanfic #fic request #writing prompts #ask #anon #emma writes

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justcharlctte-blog · 5 years ago

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hey guys!! i’m lake. char here is an old muse of mine but inspiration for her suddenly came back to me and i’m very excited to revive her again!!

⧼ crystal reed. female. she/her. ⧽ — ❛ is that charlotte madden walking around the streets of the nation’s capital? or are we mistaken her for that celebrity again, wouldn’t be the first time it happened. luckily for us, we can clearly see the difference because she is a twenty-nine year old photographer. after three years in the washington metropolitan area we discovered they are friendly and malleable. let’s hope they stick around to find out more. ⧼ lake. 20. est. they/them. ⧽

BASICS

Full Name: Charlotte Marie Madden Nicknames: Char, Charzy, Mads, Lottie Date of Birth: October 10, 1989 (29) Place of Birth: Los Angeles, CA Gender: female Sexuality: Bisexual Languages: English Education: University of Michigan - Ann Arbor ( photography, journalism, advertising ) Occupation: photographer

PERSONALITY

+ friendly, understanding, kind - malleable, anxious, people-pleaser

HISTORY ( tw emotional neglect?? kinda? )

daughter of superstar actress raven sweetser and has been trying to run from that pretty much all her life. things weren’t always bad though. in charlotte’s early childhood she looked up to her mother and idolized her even –wanted to be just like her. they acted in a few things together and for a while, things were really good.

however charlotte never had the same love and passion for being in front of crowds and the camera –the love for acting and putting on different personas– that her mother did. she could feel their mother’s time and energy begin to grow more strict and overbearing on her, she tried to fight it, but it seemed no matter what she did she was not good enough nor was she happy.

eventually she gave up. it was a multitude of things: feeling like her mother’s gaze was going right through her, realizing her mother was someone she didn’t want to idolize anymore ( more self-centered, more bitchy, more centered on someone who was a star, the best, instead of charlotte’s mother ). it wouldn’t be long after that her mother would get another big break and charlotte would be fully cast aside (age 13).

it was their father that gave charlotte her first camera after a long tearful conversation about being feeling ignored and neglected. ( ‘oh child’ by robin schulz kinda... like the lyric ‘ oh child, just do what you love, ‘cause you won’t get this life again ’ ouch ). the story goes, charlotte picked up a camera and all but disappeared. poetic, really, that one madden woman would live her live in front of cameras and the other behind it.

armed with a new love and spiteful, charlotte cast her gaze around for something that was as far away from acting and hollywood, and (perhaps with a bit of her father’s help) her eyes landed on sports —in hockey in particular. here was something with a different fast pace from the shuffle of their mother’s whirlwind life. her final piece was shedding her mother’s surname and taking her father’s instead.

charlotte madden did so much better behind the camera than in front and it brought her to the university of michigan - ann arbor and spit her out four years later with degrees in photography, journalism, and advertising, and lucrative connections in the hockey industry. these were connections born of hard work and her sweet and polite personality, a permanent gig through her four years shooting the michigan men’s hockey team, internships with the kings over the summer, close friends on the team who had been drafted, who would be drafted…

four years away at college and mostly away from the drama of her home hold changed charlotte for the better. she became more confident after her confidence had been shattered through her adolescent and high school years due to neglect. she still has fears about not being good enough, but she absolutely loves what she does.

upon graduation, she would bounce around between covering minor league teams going anywhere but HOME before she would take up a part time position with the washington capitols, which would soon turn into a full-time job ( during the season, anyway ) not long after. she has been working with them for three years now.

MISC

charlotte’s relationship with her mother is extremely strained to say the least. when she quit acting her mother tried to get back into it and then ignored her. when she turned to photographing sports her mother was distraught ( ‘because how could someone so beautiful turn to taking pictures of sports of all things’ ), but charlotte was set on the path she saw for herself.

holidays are rough in the madden household to say the least.

almost no one calls her lottie. it’s something that her mom calls her in an attempt to make her feel closer and she will never have good connotations with the nickname. she prefers her full name, but those very close to her have the privilege of calling her char.

kill ‘em with kindness. charlotte’s demeanor is very sweet and polite, but don’t be fooled, she has a spine and isn’t a complete pushover. much of that is practiced, at her very core she’s still very scared of people not liking her —hence why she’s so kind all the time. if people could hear the arguments she gets into with her mother, they might not ever believe it.

charlotte doesn’t tell anyone who her mother is. these days it’s better off that she’s not related to her. she built her own career by herself and doesn’t want people to think that her mother had fucking shit to do with it.

she does freelance work in the summer and during the season as well to help pay her way.

CONNECTIONS !

someone she knew from LA or her childhood? idk.

someone who is actually a big fan of her mother but has no idea charlotte is her daughter

fellow sports fans who maybe like... see her shooting at games??

friends from ann-arbor

this is weirdly specific but someone who has like a stranger crush on her? someone who sees her around frequently and just.... has a stranger crush on her if you know what i mean?

im always a sucker for hockey players that charlotte shoots during games

idk anything really. i am an open book. hmu for fun times.

#memoir.intro

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littlemisssquiggles · 7 years ago

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RWBY Musings #28: A Squiggle Meister’s Views on Midnight Dragon (Tai Yang + Raven) and Albino Dragon (Tai Yang and Summer)

After Miles debunked the whole Qrow is Ruby’s real father theory, he confirmed once and for all that Tai Yang is indeed the biological father of both Yang and Ruby. However, despite this, there have been comments buzzing around the FNDM still bringing this into question.

Believe it or not, there are fans that are still raising the probability of this being factual by now questioning how Tai was able to get over his love for Raven in order to fall in love with Summer and then birth a child with her, just after two years since his first born child and previous relationship.

As always, the squiggle meister is here to toss her full $2.50 into this discussion pot and weigh in my thoughts and theories on this ongoing topic.

Disclaimer: In doing my research, I learnt that the FNDM has christened these two Tai Yang ships as Midnight Sun (for Raven) and Summer Loving (for Summer). And while those ship names are fine, truth be told, I wasn’t much in favour of them or any of the other alternatives that I saw. So I went with my own idea for the ship names. Also, sorry folks but this is gonna be another long post. Not as long as the last long musing I made but still long enough to warrant a warning. Just wanted to mention this beforehand. That being said, let us begin:

The Raven, the Sun Dragon and the White Rose.

So Tai Yang takes 2 years to get over Raven and romance Summer enough to give him another kid? When you say it like that, it makes it sound even more ludicrously impossible, am I right?

Well truth be told, sometimes in the real world, there are actually relationships that start off in only a matter of weeks and there are even cases of folks getting married in less than six months or even a month after just dating. I mean I’m no relationship guru myself but it is plausible.

The point I’m trying to make here is following that reveal by the show writers, there are still those one or two fans gently sailing down that pleasant river I’d like to call Denial. Those who imply that two years is far too short of a timeframe for someone to recover from a past relationship. While I get the argument those fans are making, I must courteously disagree.

2 years is actually not too little time.

Again, there are examples of folks who fall off the couple wagon and get right back up in shorter time; sometimes starting a new relationship in only a few short weeks after ending their last one. I don’t know people like that personally but I do know people who know other people that treat their relationships like a claw machine game.

When they lose one relationship, they just immediately go back in and try for another one.

So I know of the type and I wouldn’t be too surprised if some of you readers also might know someone who shares that trait in their love lives.

So when you look at it from that perspective, 2 years really does seem like nothing compared to some exemplars from the real world.

Besides it’s not like Tai and Summer were complete strangers. They were teammates. Friends and to some extent, family even before the kids. Tai and Summer knew each other since they were huntsman attending Beacon Academy.

Since they were teenagers at the tender age of 17; the standard age for all students. The only exception was Ruby Rose who started Beacon when she was only 15.

Makes me wonder now if it was a similar feat for Summer Rose.

What if...

Ozpin allowed her to attend his school despite being two years junior to the average student age. I wouldn’t be surprised if that was the case. With the casual manner Ozpin just invited Ruby to join Beacon back in V1; it’s almost like he’s done that before. But that’s just a hunch.

If I had to take a wild guess at how old Tai Yang is in the series, he’s probably in his early forties; perhaps 42-43 years of age. He’s too young to be in his fifties yet a bit too old to be in his thirties. The youngest age I can see Tai Yang being is 39 but my money is on him being in his early forties. If Tai Yang is in his forties, then that means he could’ve started a family back in his early twenties.

Since Yang, Tai’s eldest child, is 18 currently, my hunch is that Tai Yang and Raven probably had Yang when they were both between 24-25 years old age which surprisingly isn’t an uncommon age for folks to settle down and have a family.

My point here is that the members of Team STQR have all known each other since they were teens. They shared a strong friendship and camaraderie together, one that transcended time. Two of the members even got hitched and ultimately had a child together. Not sure if it was ever indicated that Tai and Raven actually were married.

I think marriage is something that most fans assumed but now that I think about, did the series or the CRWBY ever truly confirmed that Tai Yang was legally married to both Raven and Summer at some point. Were Yang and Ruby born out of wedlock? Are they both bastards?

Not that there’s anything wrong with being a bastard. Heck, the only show I know where being a bastard child is a big deal to the story lore is Game of Thrones (and I don’t even watch GOT). It’s just something I’m now wondering about.

Anyways if Tai and Summer were to get together within the span of two years or more specifically, 24 months (depending on what period you decide to count from) it wouldn’t be much of a problem because they already shared a history together.

Not only were they teammates who fought alongside each other during their years as young huntsmen in training but also long after it. Judging from how recent the photo of Team STQR looked, these guys have been together for years. Heck, I would even go so far to say that Tai and Summer probably knew each other before attending Beacon.

What if

...Tai and Summer were like Ren and Nora ?

School Days with Team STQR

Imagine if...

Tai and Summer were close friends who’ve been together since childhood. Perhaps they both hailed from the same hometown in Vale and knew each other from around the neighbourhood.

I quite like the idea of Tai and Summer knowing each other before Beacon. Just picture Tai Yang Xiao Long being the hyperactive, brash type in his youth with a rather impulsive knack for getting himself into trouble all the time whereas Summer Rose, his neighbour and childhood friend, was the more level-headed and nurturing one always having to take care of him and bail him out of dire situations.

Picture teenage Tai and Summer as a watered down version of Eren Jaeger and Mikasa Ackerman without the revenge and occasional homicidal tendencies. I can definitely see Summer and Tai sharing a sibling-like dynamic in their friendship seeing as the other half of their original team were already related and well attuned to one another.

I can picture Summer developing a crush on Tai during the latter half of their school years at Beacon.

However, when it came time to profess her romantic interest in Tai, Summer instead chose to nobly not tell him her true feelings. She made this mature choice after discovering that Raven was also secretly in love with Tai (and was too much of a mega tsundere to admit her feelings unless pushed) and that Tai himself felt the same way for Raven since he confided this news to Summer, his closest friend at the time who he trusted the most with this information.

I figured telling Qrow that he wants to hook up with his sister would’ve been an awkward thing for Tai to do. So it’d make more sense to me if Tai either told Summer that he was in love with Raven or...she figured it out on her own because Tai’s feelings were obvious to everyone on their team except Raven.

And being the best friend that she was, Summer placed the feelings of her friends before her own and encourages Tai to profess his love to Raven.

Imagine a similar scenario like the episode from V2 when Pyrrha gave Jaune the pep talk that finally convinced him to tell Weiss how he truly felt about her.

Just replace Jaune with Tai Yang, Pyrrha with Summer and Weiss with Raven.

Now that I think about, Team STRQ is literally the ole school equivalent of Team JNPR, being another unisex team in a lead role.

I can even see Qrow, who probably knew of Summer’s true feelings for Tai, making the same comment that Nora made in that scene.

Practice what you preach.

.Raven described Ruby as being just like her mother. So if Summer shares some characteristics with her daughter, then selflessly backing off of a love interest to allow a friend the opportunity to fairly pursue said similar love interest seems like the kind of nice thing Ruby would do. Y’know if she was ever placed in that kind of position.

Hummingbird Chirps

But I’m actually for Qrow having a previous small crush on Summer when they were younger. I can definitely picture teenage Qrow Branwen garnering an instant attraction towards young Summer after they first met. Although my theory is that the crush didn’t last long, for the obvious reason of it being one-sided. Nonetheless it’s still something that I believe definitely happened in the past and was probably what jumpstarted Qrow learning to respect Summer as both a friend and warrior and was what made her such a significant figure in his life.

This actually makes me think of something funny. Back in V3 after he made his official appearance, Qrow was telling Ruby and Yang the story about the innkeeper who quote unquote ‘defeated him with her skirt length’.

If Qrow has a thing for girls in short pleated skirts then him being attracted to Summer would make sense. Judging from the old photo of Team STQR, Summer used to sport a pleated skirt underneath her flowing white cape. So...wouldn’t it be funny if the first thing that sparked love at first sight for Qrow with Summer was indeed her skirt length. She would be his type.

As luck would have it, Raven also wears a short pleated skirt with her outfit. Now I’m picturing Qrow teasing his older twin sister about skirts looking better on other girls as opposed to her. Y’know typical anime sibling banter which in the case of the Branwens, would result in comical moments of the twins breaking into mini sword fights all because Qrow was ballsy enough to provoke his sister.

Also imagine Qrow and Tai bonding over skirt lengths while thinking about their respective crushes. I’m just saying.

Black With Envy

In continuing my point about the old school adventures of Team STQR, here’s a theory about Raven and Summer’s previous relationship.

Though I figured that Tai and Qrow probably got along pretty decently as the boys of the group, I can picture Raven and Summer being public enemies 101 when the team was first formed. Because Summer was such a gifted young huntress (even before unlocking her silver eyed powers); this made her even stronger than Raven and that angered the Branwen girl.

After all, Summer’s name is the first letter in Team STQR which means that she was their leader; appointed by Ozpin himself. I could definitely see it being very difficult for Raven and Summer to work together in the beginning since Raven was always resentful and jealous towards Summer at first even though Summer was always nice to Raven and did her best to befriend her.

I can picture Raven arrogantly believing herself to be the more worthy leader of their team (similar to Weiss’s initial feelings towards Ruby back in V1 after Team RWBY was formed) and it was actually Ozpin who talked to her and convinced her to give Summer a chance as leader (just as how Professor Port spoke to Weiss and convinced her to give Ruby a chance).

There are quite a few opportunities for Team STQR to parallel Team RWBY and this is one of them.

Dat Good Summer Loving

I’ve been musing a lot of about how Summer fell for Tai. Now it’s time to do the opposite. This is how I believe Tai eventually fell for Summer.

My hunch is Tai fell in love with Summer for her kind maternal nature. I picture that Summer has always been the type to take care of those she cared about. Underneath the face of a huntress gifted with an ancient power beyond her wildest imagination, was a compassionate woman with a genuine heart of gold and the cooking skills to match.

After seeing what an excellent surrogate mother she was to Yang, despite her not being her biological child, it was Summer’s benevolence and warmth towards others that made Tai fall for her, in my belief. Yang did point out that Summer loved her as if she were her own. According to Yang, Summer Rose was described as a super mom. Baker of cookies and slayer of giant monsters.

Yang loved Summer and still referred to her as her mother when talking about her to Blake, despite having zero blood ties to her. I’m guessing that Yang probably believed that Summer was her mother for most of her upbringing up until the point when she disappeared. Yang probably didn’t learn the truth about Summer and the identity of her real mother until after Summer had died.

While just a theory, it doesn’t excuse the fact that for most of Yang’s life, Summer was her only mother figure and never gave her any reason to believe that she wasn’t, even after she had long passed away.

What if...something happened to Yang when she was a little girl and it was Summer who saved her.

And following that incident, Tai realized his own growing feelings for Summer and over time, the two bonded further over raising Yang together. Returning to my earlier statement, contrary to what folks may believe, two years or even a year and a half is a lot of time to pass. We’re talking eighteen to twenty-four months here people and a lot can happen within that time span including change.

Lovers could suddenly abandon you for reasons unspoken; leaving you to take care of a young innocent newborn you had initially planned to raise together.

Hearts can be broken rendering you a husk of your former self. Friendships can be tested as loyal allies arrive to help you pick up the pieces to repair your broken self. Struggles can occur tested further by time.

But within those troubling times can surface memories.

Memories, both happy and sad can be made and from those experiences can blossom new feelings.

Some of bewilderment due to the complexity of these sudden sentiments. Some of uncertainty on whether acting out on such emotions would be in good judgement.

But mostly it was love; an emotion that hasn’t been felt in years and was probably never expected to be felt again.

Tai loved Raven. Wouldn’t surprise me if she was his first everything.

First crush. First lover (in the sexual sense) and the first woman he ever truly loved. As a matter of fact, no need for surprise because this was pretty much proven canon by Yang herself back in V2. During her conversation with Blake, Yang told her that Raven was Tai Yang’s first love while Summer was his second.

Tai Yang seems to be the kind of guy that when he falls for someone, he doesn’t just fall for them on a whim. As I shall repeat firmly yet again, two years is a lot of time to pass and many changes can occur within that period. It took Tai a whole two years to get over losing Raven because Ruby was born the following October.

Let’s do some math here. Ruby is approximately two years younger than Yang. That’s their thing. At the series start, Yang is 17 while Ruby is 15 highlighting their two year age difference. Even though we don’t know the exact date Yang was born, the fact is that Ruby was born a whole two years (or approximately twenty four whole months) after Yang.

Now that I think about, the CRWBY never really give us birth years. Any information regarding the characters’ respective ages is presented in the form of their exact ages and their birth dates. That being said, since she’s the only show runner whose birthday has been confirmed, Ruby Rose has always been the margin for me to measure everyone else’s ages by because it doesn’t matter how old other characters are, they will always be whatever age gap they corresponded to Ruby.

So if Ruby aged up by one year, it is safe to assume that everyone else aged up by one year too (which is why I don’t understand why the RWBY Wiki page keeps saying that all other characters are the same age they were at the start of the series and not currently while Ruby is the only one to have been confirmed to have aged up. I don’t get that. If Ruby is 16 now then everyone else should be 18, at least that’s my logic).

Using the above 3-year calendar to help illustrate my hunch, let’s say: Yang’s official birthday is in June, more specifically June 1st. I say this date because it was the day when the RWBY V1 Yellow Trailer first premiered to audiences at A-Kon Dallas back in 2013. You can technically consider that to be a sort of birthday for Yang because it was the first time fans were introduced to her character and got a taste of her in action. Plus Yang being born on the first day of the month (doesn’t necessarily have to be June) can work because it corresponds with how her younger sister was born on the last day of the month. It could work. Not saying that all the RWBY girls’ birthdays correspond with their original character trailers but, like I said it’s just a hunch to help with my explanation.

Ruby’s birthday is October 31st. Since Ruby was born at the end of the tenth month in the year, one can speculate that Ruby must’ve been conceived in the February of her birth year following Yang’s 2nd birthday. To keep things simple, let’s just say that Tai had some pretty good swimmers when he impregnated Summer and she herself was able to have a full healthy labour; not factoring in any circumstantial issues like premature labour or any initial prostate problems during the time of conception.

Now I know what you must be thinking now.

Squiggles, why the fudge are you going through such trouble to justify all this nonsensical information? To further prove my point, of course. The yellow areas in the calendar indicate the total length of time Tai and Summer spent together after Raven’s departure. Look at all that time spent before Yang’s supposed second birthday.

2 years. 24 months. 96 weeks. 730 days. 17,520 hours. 1,051,200 minutes. 63,072,000 seconds.

That is almost three solid years that Tai and Summer spent together after Raven’s departure and that’s without even including that they’ve known each other on an intimate level for much longer.

It took Tai Yang two whole years to get over Raven. Can’t remember if this was confirmed or not but Raven left shortly after Yang was born. After Raven left, Summer stepped up.

As I will mention again, Summer was not a stranger to Tai. The two have known each other since their teens. They were already close to begin with because of their longstanding friendship and camaraderie from Beacon days which lasted even into their adult years working as established huntsman.

Tai is not a two-timer. He didn’t cheat on Raven with Summer or anything ludicrous like that. After 24 months of emotional healing and after being in the presence of a woman who was not only his good friend and teammate, but had also more than proven to be a great companion and even good mother figure to his firstborn child (better than her real mother for sure), Tai did what any person in his position once heartbroken by previous ties would do.

He moved on!

Once Tai realized that there was no way Raven would ever come back to him or Yang, he moved on.

Instead of continuing to wallow in the loss of losing Raven, he picked himself back up. He returned to resume his role as a good father to the then toddler Yang. He found love again in Summer Rose. I’d imagine that Summer might’ve shown a little bit of contempt at first at the probability of her and Tai being together in that way. However, in the long run, she came around and found true love in Tai, reciprocating his feelings. And from their requited love, they settled down to become a family. Not the most conventional family but still one built on the love of two people who loved the child they were raising together and each other.

This is like the perfect plot synopsis for a Hallmark Channel romance flick.

Man loses his first wife after she mysteriously disappears, abandoning him and their newborn child. Man’s best friend and close colleague from work shows up to help him through his loss and steps up as surrogate mother. Shenanigans ensue but in the end, man is able to break out of his slump to be a better father to his child thanks to friend. Man and Friend continue to raise man’s child becoming a little family. During this time, the child grows up and starts calling man’s friend her mother.

This brings the future of man and friend’s relationship into question. After that the man and friend start to notice things about each other they never noticed before; like how much they enjoyed each other’s company and how well they looked together as a family. Cut briefly to one antagonistic friend who shows up to remind man about his wife.

Long story short, man and friend fall in love, come to realize their feelings and then confess those feelings. Man and Friend then get married with the man’s toddler as the flower girl in the wedding; practicing all that good Lifetime Movie shizz. Fast forward some time later when man’s friend who is now his new wife is recalling all the events after their wedding.

She is doing so while coddling her new baby; the newborn child of her and man just as Man enters the room with his toddler daughter who is now your average two-year-old toddler; talking and walking. The toddler daughter runs up to her new mommy and baby sister. Man and Friend who is now his wife then share a kiss as their toddler daughter plays with her new baby sister. The end. Roll credits.

Now gimme my cheque Hallmark cause that is the perfect plot for your next big hit. Then again, there must be at least three Lifetime Channel Original movies with this kind of plot already in existence. Jokes aside, you guys get my drift, right?

Shipping Don’ts for the Dragon Ships

I sincerely hope Tai’s relationship with any of the girls on his team wasn’t like how they butchered the Makorrasami love triangle in the Legend of Korra animated series.

Not to throw any sort of shade but I really pray that it was not a case where Tai was once romantically involved with Summer while at the same time harbouring a conflicting attraction to Raven (who he probably didn’t get along with so there was always this unspoken sexual tension between them).

Like what if...Tai and Summer were once ‘high school sweethearts’ who shared the same passion to become huntsman. So they were already a couple when they joined Beacon and ironically wound up on the same team together with the Branwen Twins.

However Tai’s budding interest in Raven starts to interfere with his commitment to Summer especially when Raven starts flirting with him a bit and obnoxiously accusing him of having feelings for her despite knowing that he already had a girlfriend who was their teammate and team leader.

And of course, Summer is all oblivious to Raven’s advances on Tai, naively glossing it over as them learning to finally get along. Eventually that attraction surfaces and Tai and Raven end up sharing a passionate moment together which causes a temporary rift in Team STQR when Summer discovers that Tai had cheated on her.

But being the good person that she is, Summer decides to forgive both Tai and Raven for their infidelity. Tai and Raven then become a couple. Fast forward years down the line when they are married and already had Yang. Raven then suddenly leaves, dumping Tai. Summer shows up to help and in the midst of everything, she and Tai rekindle their past love for each other and hook up again.

As temptingly juicy as that may sound on paper, I would like none of that nonsense to touch RWBY please. Love triangles in shows can be an engrossing ride if handled well and I put major emphasis on ‘when handled well’. When love triangles or any kind of pairing shape are handled incorrectly with horrible writing, it can mostly lead to one big fat mess and of course, the dissatisfaction of the fans and show viewers.

Hence, my example of the Legend of Korra. It has been a universal statement of the LOK fandom that the romance in the series was just a mess. And while it took me years after the show long concluded to see the true validity of this point, I too can now say that I agree with this remark.

So far, RWBY has done a pretty exceptional job with the way they’ve handled all their romance. When I say this, I’m speaking mostly about in the show itself. I’m not making any reference to the infamous RWBY shipping wars. That’s all external conflict in the FNDM, not the show.

Despite one or two conflicts here or there mostly involving love shapes (y’know triangles, diamonds, hexagons, trapeziums etc, etc) in the earlier seasons, the ships in RWBY never got to a point where it became cringe-y for me to watch.

Even though I made not ship some of them personally, I respect all the canonical pairings that have appeared thus far in the series.

Even the ones that should make me cringe, like in the case of Tauradonna and Blake’s past with the villainous Adam Taurus, are well-justified.

What that means is when I cringe at a ship in RWBY, it’s because that’s the expected reaction I’m supposed to get as a fan after learning the nature of the relationship based on how it’s written.

I’m supposed to dislike Tauradonna because, it’s written as an unlikeable, unhealthy, abusive pairing according to the show canon.

The only time shipping in a show becomes cringe-worthy is when the characters in question aren’t bad but their romance is handled so terribly in the canon of the show that I can’t bring myself to be fully onboard with it, even if I happened to like said characters.

It’s especially worse when I like a ship but their whole relationship custom is written so horribly and irrelevant to the story plot that it just makes me question my own loyalty to said ship.

Thankfully so far, canon RWBY hasn’t gotten to that point with me and hopefully it stays well on the path to creating well-written ships. I’m especially invested to learn more of the Dragon ships according to the show canon.

Some STRQ-y Predictions for RWBY V6

For what it’s worth, I’m hoping the series will take some time to shed light on both the Midnight Dragon and Albino Dragon pairings. Given the teaser clip from the V5 finale, it would be relevant for us to learn the truth of Tai’s past with both of his former lovers: Raven as well as Summer.

The CRWBY writers certainly seem to be setting something like that up for V6. I’ve talked about this in a past musing that V6 will be more about the ‘Journey to Atlas’. That way it can tie up all the loose ends to come from the aftermath of the Haven Battle.

But since they brought up Tai Yang with a hint of Raven, it looks like their story is one of the loose ends that the show plans on defining for V6 or at least I hope so. I want a Team STQR flashback. I want to see what Raven and Tai were like, both during Beacon and after.

I wanna know the whole truth behind why Raven left. We still haven’t gotten a properly defined reason for this yet. While I’m fully aware the show has implied that she did all that she did out of fear of Salem and lack of being able to convince anyone else to distrust Ozpin. Nonetheless that’s still not a full, clear definition.

The CRWBY writers keep tossing us fans breadcrumbs but at this point, I’ve grown tiresome of these tiny morsels of data and desire the whole loaf.

We still need to fully understand why and how Raven came to lose fate in Ozpin in spite of trusting him enough to grant her magical abilities.

Speaking of which, Raven made Ozpin turning her into a bird sound so grim when she first told Yang and Weiss about it. But later Qrow debunked this by mentioning that it was a choice that both twins wanted. The hell?

I want to know more about what Summer Rose was like. I want to know what her rapport with her team was like, both during and following Beacon.

I want to learn more about Ozpin’s interest in Team STQR and foremost, I want all of this plot exposition to lead into a proper account of how Summer died. And if the show can tie that reveal into Ruby Rose learning more about her legacy as a Silver Eyed Warrior and what that actually means for her future and fate then that would be awesome.

There is a silver chance that RWBY V6 will be more Ruby-centric. After all, the past two volumes of the Haven Arc have deviated attention from her as a means of further developing her teammates with their respective character arcs. V4 mostly highlighted Weiss’s story arc whereas V5 helped bring some closure to both Blake and Yang’s side of development.

The time has come to shift direction back to Ruby and I feel like V6 can be her season to literally shine as there’s a strong chance she could finally learn more about the Silver Eyes. They’ve been sitting on this plot device for two seasons now. It’s about time they get on with it.

And if Ruby is going to learn more about the Silver Eyed Warriors, then she can’t do so without bringing up her mother.

And I think hinting at both Tai and Raven’s involvement in the next season is a good sign that we can also get some insight into Summer Rose since they were the ones who knew her best along with Qrow. I wonder if the V5 ending was hinting at Raven possibly visiting Tai to talk and take him to Haven where everybody is.

Maybe my earlier hunch will come true. Perhaps Tai will play a role in the gang travelling to Atlas which means V6 could possibly give us a season where for the first time in RWBY history, Papa Xiao Long joins the party. So it won’t just be Qrow as the adult in charge. He’s gonna need a new protégé in guiding these kids towards Atlas especially if Ozpin is out of commission.

We can finally see Tai in action outside of the Patch and it’d be a terrific way to learn more about his character and his abilities (like his semblance).

Plus Bird Dad and Dragon Dad tag-teaming to babysit all the kids on the journey to Atlas.

Who wouldn’t wanna see a season with that in the plot? I’ll dive further into this for another future musing but think about it guys.

Papa Dragon for V6! Hey CRWBY, c’mon!

So in conclusion:

After Raven left, Summer was there, not only for Tai but also for tot Yang.

Qrow was probably around too but maybe not as much as he wanted to because of one, his semblance and two, his search for his sister.

I wouldn’t be too surprised if part of Qrow’s time away from the Patch was dedicated to him being the first one to go looking for Raven (and their tribe) after her sudden departure.

The lead that Yang found when she was a little girl that led her to go searching for her mom the first time; that was probably given to Tai by Qrow in his search. Or at least that’s my hunch.

Can’t recall if the show confirmed any stuff like this though. Don’t think so. Correct me if I’m wrong here, guys.

Anyways, I know I addressed several points and jumped through a number of personal fan theories and hunches.

Even so, I hope this helps best give you guys the gist of my thoughts on this topic in the FNDM.

To say it one last time: No. I don’t think it was totally impossible for Tai to move on from Raven in the span of two years.

From what we know so far about Tai and can understand about his connections, Tai loved both Raven and Summer when they were his wives.

As the show canon has made mention of, when Raven left, Tai was devastated. Same for Summer.

After five seasons, we still don’t know that much about Tai. However from what I gathered so far, he seems like a genuinely cool and nice guy. The kind of genuinely cool and nice guy with a wicked sense of humour to prank teen Qrow into wearing a skirt in their younger years but...a genuinely cool and nice guy nonetheless.

It is unfortunately tragic that this one man managed to lose both of his lovers one after the other.

They were his former teammates. His best friends and the loves of his life. He cared about them both and also respected them both during and after their time as his significant others.

In spite of her absence, Tai still cherished enough from his past relationship with Raven because unlike some bitter single parents who choose to spend their time painting an ugly picture of their previous spouses to their children, Tai still loved and respected Raven enough to leave a good impression of her on Yang.

I think we can all safely agree that no matter the length of time he took to recover from one relationship, Tai loved and respected both of his leading ladies unconditionally till the bittersweet end and it’s that’s same kind of reverence he gives and teaches to the two badass angels that his world was blessed with because of those two leading ladies.

Not certain if we might see Tai rekindling his romance with Raven anytime soon for V6 or any other future chapters.

I dunno, that one particular Tai Yang skit from RWBY Chibi S3 has got me thinking thangs.

But, I guess we’ll know in due time.

That being said, I think I’m officially done with this musing. As always I hope everyone who took the time to read it through enjoyed it.

♦ More RWBY Musings by Squiggles ~LittleMissSquiggles (2018)

#rwby #rwby volume 6 predictions #team strq #tai yang xiao long #raven branwen #summer rose #tai yang and raven #tai yang and summer #raven and summer #qrow and summer #rwby musings

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