#episode that feels like a 3 hour movie and for what

[dollypopup]

genuinely wild that early 2000s rom coms have somehow managed to be better written and more giggle kick feet twirl hair in an hour and a half than bton has managed in 8 one hour long episodes

[sskk-manifesto]

Next time we should just skip over ep 3 and do a chapters 84-87 reread

[reidrum]

i think he knows

A/N: more doctor!reader!!!!!!! can you tell i love them. if you have requests for them please send them my way thank you <3

summary: in which spencer and reader try to find time for each other to have their first date

cw: doctor!reader, fluff, spencer being a flirt, medical talk

wc: 2.5k

A month passes before Spencer gets to see you again. A long, long month.

He stayed in the hospital for observation for another two days after meeting you, which were entirely medically necessary but don’t ask Spencer how his chest pain stopped the moment he signed the discharge papers because they just couldn’t keep him any longer. He knows it’s illogical, and a bit immoral, to fake symptoms for his personal gain. But who could blame him, had they seen you?

You didn’t make it any easier on him either, the times you’d check on him you’d leave him red for hours. Morgan had gotten suspicious seeing him be surprisingly high in spirits for someone who just got shot. You’d even talked to the nurses to get him extra jello, a love language in its own.

But his daydream was soon shattered upon his discharge, where he couldn’t just lay in a hospital bed and wait for you to come to him. He was to be sent to exile (home) to finish out the rest of his sentence (recovery), while he so agonizingly waits for the next chance to see you again.

The first day back home was already enough to send him into house fever, and he couldn’t even freely pace off the nervous energy because of his leg. You had given him your number, which meant he had to text you. It was a lot of pressure. He knew his assignment and yet couldn’t figure out what the right thing to start off this conversation with you should be.

Should he be formal and hit you with a simple Hello. Or give a bit of a flirty edge and add a heart emoji—one that Penelope taught him how to do, thank you very much. No, he should probably introduce himself since you don’t have his number. So you don’t think a random freak is trying to message you.

He types out a message and sends it before he can second guess himself anymore.

Spencer: Hey there, this is Spencer. Room 207?

Spencer flips his phone face down so he doesn’t manically check the notifications for your reply. You’re busy, you could be in surgery or doing rounds, or sleeping on a break or—Ding!

Or typing out a reply to him, perhaps.

You: Hi Spencer ☺️ how are you feeling? Spencer: Better now, how are you? You: Better now ;)

Oh, you’re everything to him.

Spencer: Are you on a break or am I bothering you? You: Lying down in an on call room bed! I love when you bother me please don’t stop

He actually giggles aloud, thank god he lives alone.

Spencer: Good, because I was running out of medical emergencies to fake just to get to see you again. You: Gasp, faking? Sweet talking works well on me, don’t get me wrong, but I might have to report you to the medical board. Spencer: I’m not that kind of doctor so I don’t think they’ll care, plus I think once they see you were my doctor they’ll side with me. You: Flattery will get you everywhere Spencer Reid be careful. Spencer: I’m sure hoping it does.

It goes on like that for a few weeks, to Spencer’s delight. Back and forth texting, the blatant flirting on both ends and his poor but endearing attempts to match it. He wants to get to know every part of you, and thankfully you’re just as curious as he is, so every waking minute either of you aren’t working ends up being spent by talking with each other.

Not just the casual things like where you grew up or where you went to school. No, he’s learned what your go to coffee shop order is, what latent hobbies you have hidden under your belt, what your favorite movie is and the specific line that makes it your favorite.

He’s told you about his favorite Doctor Who episodes—which you made him promise to show you someday, showed you pictures of his mom and his godson, his go to Indian food order for the place down from the office.

While Spencer loves talking to you, it’s simply not enough. He has to see you soon or he might combust spontaneously. He might do that anyway but it’s much more noble to have a good and valid reason to perish in such a way, like being in your presence.

Spencer: Hey, can I ask you something? You: Uh oh, I don’t like the sound of that. Spencer: Nothing bad, pinky promise. You: Ugh, the most sacred of promises <3 Okay, let’s hear it. Spencer: Are you free this Friday? You: AH I thought you’d never ask!! I am so free this friday night doctor, setting out my best dress just for you ;) Spencer: I’m sure everything you wear is beautiful, but I’m looking forward to seeing you again :) I’ll pick you up at 7? You: I’ll be waiting <333

He asks you out officially on Monday, and he spends the rest of the week praying to whatever unsub or case gods that are out there watching to calm down this week so they don’t get whisked away on a case. Tuesday through Wednesday only consisted of paperwork, and it gives him hope he might actually make it to Friday and finally get to see you. Even Morgan and Emily’s teasing of his suddenly happy mood can’t bring him down.

Thursday night comes around and he’s about ready to jump for joy as he finishes packing up his things. JJ walks by and he’s about to say goodbye to her when she waves a manila folder in the air, “Sorry Spence, conference room in 5.”

He deflates. So close.

Spencer lets his satchel slide off his shoulder and reluctantly pulls his phone out to open his message thread with you.

Spencer: Hi, I’m really sorry to do this but we just got called on a case. Do you think we could reschedule dinner? You: Hi handsome, don’t worry I understand. The world needs you crime fighters :) I’m free next friday?

He tries to ignore the way his heart stutters reading ‘handsome’ and types.

Spencer: I’ll make it up to you, I promise. Next Friday sounds great.  You: Be safe out there please Spencer: Always am. You: Need I remind you we met because you got shot on the job Spencer: That was one time, and I told the guy to shoot me. You: Yeah, that’s not making me feel better. Spencer: I’ll be safe, getting to see you next week will be my motivation to be extra careful. You: I’d hope you’re being careful regardless but whatever works for you, handsome <3 Spencer: Got a pretty girl waiting for me, I have to take extra precautions. You: Oooh that was good, you’re getting better at this Dr. Reid. Spencer: What can I say, you make it really easy. Spencer: Okay I have to go for the briefing, talk to you soon. You: Bye handsome 💞

The case comes and goes, an easy solve but it took a few more days than the team would like to admit for a case of this caliber. They return back only a week later and it’s another Thursday night where he’s hoping nothing steps in to prevent him from seeing you. He’s lucky in the sense that nothing is stepping in to prevent him from seeing you, FBI mandated break and all after a long case.

He’s not so lucky when you regretfully tell him you’re scheduled for surgery all day on Friday. You’re entirely too apologetic for his liking, for someone who flaked on you initially and had to alter your schedule to his. Especially for someone who, of all people, understands the busy lifestyles you both lead. He reassures you a thousand times over that it’s okay and that you can reschedule.

Spencer: Please stop apologizing, it’s okay I promise You: I just feel soooo bad. I was really looking forward to seeing you. Spencer: I know. But we’ll see each other soon. You: Promise? Spencer: Pinky. Did you eat anything? You: No I wasn’t hungry, too sad about not seeing your face. Spencer: A poor reason to starve yourself, I’m ordering food for you. Are you at the hospital? You: I’m at home but you don’t have to do that. Spencer: Okay but I want to, are you going to give me your address or will I have to find it myself? You: How are you going to do that? Spencer: I have my ways. You: It’s your tech analyst friend isn’t it Spencer: Maybe. You: So if I share your address it’s a HIPPA violation but when you do it no one bats an eye. Spencer: It’s for a worthy cause. Please let me do this. You: Fiiine. 1563 Rock Lakes blvd. What are you getting? Spencer: Thank you, honey. Pad thai with chicken satay. You: Ugh, you know me so well <3

To yours and Spencer’s dismay, this pattern continues on for another few weeks. Whenever your schedule finally clears, he gets dragged away on a case. When his schedule is clear you have back to back surgeries or consults. It’s like you just can’t get the timing right, no matter how hard you pine for each other.

The doubt travels and festers in both of your heads, the blatant evidence showing you that this may not work between you. Thing is, you both love your jobs too much to even try to accommodate the other. You’re both so busy you can’t even find time for one evening alone together.

Then George Foyet happened. The Haley Hotchner of it all, happened.

It hit the entire team hard, watching a colleague they viewed as family lose someone they loved so deeply and in such a torturous way. Spencer forced himself to take a step back and really evaluate what he was doing—was he willing to subject someone he cared about to the world he lives in? To the horrors they become exposed to? He still thinks about the heart attack he had when the Fisher King sent his mom a key after being in the same facility with her for some time. He’s not sure he can handle that kind of fear again.

Spencer knows he doesn’t have to do this, it’s so early in whatever this is between you both. You haven’t even had time to go on a date. Maybe your lives are just incompatible. Maybe he can save you before he ever even puts you in danger’s way—the ultimate act of valiant efforts in the form of preemptive measures. 

What you don’t know can’t hurt you, literally.

Ding!

But then you go and do something like this, where he gets to flip his phone over and blush red in the face at your name on the notification. That he gets to open his messages and be met with the beautiful sight of your face, smiling in a picture you took just for him showing off the coffee you got on your break and reading the book he recommended to you a few weeks ago.

And he’s just not sure if he can imagine a world where he doesn’t meet you and immediately fall in love with you.

Another week, another attempt at finally being able to take you on a date. Except this time fate has stepped in on both ends and sent Spencer on another case and you scheduled for surgery. Lovely.

The case goes fine again, save for the unsub with an overt penchant for clipping FBI agents aiming their guns at him. Enough damage to send him to the ER needing stitches on his forehead and a concussion evaluation.

The doctor seeing him was a good doctor, but he wasn’t you. It was a man who, no offense to him and his medical training, definitely did not have hands as soft as yours stitching him up. He sighs out loud in the ER as he waits for a nurse to come by and discharge him. God, he wishes it was you. 

“Seeing other doctors behind my back? I thought we had something special, Dr. Reid.”

He has half a mind to look up at the sky and mouth God?, as he feels his prayers have been answered in the most literal way.

“What are you doing here?” he asks incredulously, fully in disbelief at the sight of you in front of him.

You smile and step towards him, closing the curtain behind you, “I told you, I had surgery.”

“In Maryland?”

“In Maryland,” you nod, “They needed someone with my background to help out so I flew out.”

God, you’re so smart it physically hurts him how attractive it is.

“How’d you know I was here?”

“I didn’t, I was looking at the patient log to see if they needed help in the ER when I saw an S. Reid age 27 in bed 4 and thought to myself ‘This couldn’t be a coincidence.’”

He chuckles softly, “Well, you found me.”

“That I did,” you lean in to inspect his cuts, “I thought I told you to be careful, handsome.”

The blood rushes to his face, “I know, maybe I just knew I’d get to see you this way.”

You gently readjust the butterfly bandage on his forehead, securing it more tightly. “You could have called me if you missed me, Spence.” you whisper.

“You were busy.”

“So were you.”

Spencer pauses, “Are you busy now?”

You step back and look at his face, his borderline puppy eyes doing the most to convince you to say yes when you were about to ask him the same thing in about another minute if he hadn’t. 

You grin widely and check your watch, “I clock out in an hour. Wait for me?”

“Always.”

It makes all the missed connections and unaligned schedules entirely worth it when he gets to finally pick you up from your hotel room for your date turned into a weekend getaway. Spencer doesn’t even bat an eye when Morgan teases him about the mystery lady he’s staying back in Maryland for, or when Hotch gives him a multilayered nod of approval when he asks for a few personal days.

It’s entirely worth it and more when you and Spencer drive up to a lake house to spend the weekend together, and you joke about how your first date ended up being your first trip as a couple. Spencer doesn’t even stumble when you refer to yourselves as a couple, just tightening his arm around your shoulder and kissing the crook of your neck softly.

It’s the most worth it when, even after you said you were a couple, on the last night after staying up watching Doctor Who reruns post other activities, Spencer curls his arm around your body tugging you closer to his and whispers into your hair, “You will be my girlfriend, right?”

To which you simply beam up at him and whisper into his neck, “Of course, handsome.”

[rainrot4me]

Jeff the Killer General Headcannons

Summary: Basic, SFW, and NSFW head-cannons. My personal thoughts, feelings, and opinions about Jeff as a character.

TW: NSFW below the cut, minors dni! Above the cut is sfw!

Words: 2.6k

A/N: NSFW is reader with female anatomy.

Basic:

- Big isolation guy. He enjoys pestering people or hanging out, but when it comes to personal things like missions or killing sprees, he prefers to be alone. His head’s already loud enough that he doesn’t need to add to it when he’s trying to focus.

- Blunt. Like to the point it’s a drag to even talk to him sometimes. He doesn’t really give a shit about anyone or anything besides himself, so why would he need to hide what he actually wants to say?

- Dangerously short temper. It barely takes one nasty remark or even a hint that you have ill intent towards him before the killer is on your ass. Would rather beat the shit out of you than take the time to reconcile.

- A STARER. Has absolutely no remorse when just boring his eyes into someone, eyes wide and horrifying. He loves to watch every expression as he’s ending someone’s life, every bit of anger or fear, but especially the blank stare in their eyes afterward. You catch his glance all the time, and instead of looking away politely like a normal person would, he just smiles as he glares even harder.

- Loves story based video games that Ben shows him. Life is Strange, Night in the Woods, and What Remains of Edith Finch. Has to play them all in their entirety before he can do anything else, so he’ll be glued to the couch for days.

- Has a difficult time with names, so he comes up with nicknames or terms to make it easier. “Twitch” - Toby, “Sockets” - Jack, or “Glitch” - Ben. Don’t worry, he’ll give you one, too.

- A laugher. When he’s in pain, when he’s sad, when he’s happy, that man is laughing. Choked out dry heaving chuckles or tipsy short airheaded giggles, it doesn’t matter, he will be laughing.

- Terrible sleep paralysis and nightmares keep him up during the night, the most sleep this man will ever get is a little over 3 hours. It really doesn’t help his mood, either.

- The scars on his cheeks used to bleed and get infected so bad he could barely shut his mouth due to the swelling. He would numb it down with pain killers and anything he could find, but it wasn’t until Slender tried to make him into a proxy that they eventually sealed and scarred over, creating wide gashes (weird cryptid powers).

- Thinks about his brother every waking moment. He feels so much pent up regret and sadness concerning Liu, but refuses to search for him or even shed a tear. This sends him into mental breakdown episodes, and sadly, the only relief is just to create more carnage.

- Actually really hates violence unless he’s the one delivering it. Doesn’t like violent movies or music because they romanticize everything he hates about himself. Any media he enjoys is either really bland or really toned down, stuff that won’t trigger him.

- Cuts his own hair, and yes, he’s horrible at it.

- Messed up his appearance to make himself ‘beautiful’, but just ended up so disgusted and ashamed of himself in the long run. When his mental fog gets bad, he’ll just stand in front of the mirror and stare at himself, letting every negative thought wash over. Outside, he’ll brandish it like a weapon, something to get victims to submit. But on the inside, it’s just a nasty reminder.

- Showers only when it gets to the uncomfortable point. He doesn’t have the time or energy or wash himself every day, but when it gets to the point he feels the blood and grime subconsciously, he’ll get over it. Even if he does wash himself, half the time actually in the shower is just letting the water run over him and staring at the tile wall.

- Gets all of his money and random trinkets from victims. Proceeds to spend all that money almost immediately after on a pack of Blue Moons. No orange slice, either.

- Messy, disgusting room. Has no healthy habits of keeping him or his space tidy, so it’s always near disastrous.

- Even though the media and lots of outlets perceive him as this insane maniac killer, those were all big stories from his teenage years. Even though he doesn’t feel like he’s matured, he’s definitely found a happy medium away from spree after spree of slaughter. He still itches to take down a whole neighborhood, but he’s found his ways to cope.

- Very good at hand-to-hand combat. He wields a knife if things get a little rough, but prefers to use his hands to do the dirty work. Makes it feel more personal to him.

- Late-night kitchen demon. You’ll find him rummaging the fridge or making a bowl of cereal in the complete darkness, but he’ll swear up and down it wasn’t him.

- Annoying, painfully so. Hell wrack EJ’s ear off or pester Toby about little things, but he can’t help but get giddy when he sees he’s ticked them off just enough.

- Really agile. Had a thinner build, but muscle definition and tension really adds to the aesthetic. Really defined v-line and hips bones, as well as carved out shoulders and collarbones. Looks like a beefier skeleton, but hot.

- Lip piercings. Snake bites. They’re not healed and they’re not pretty, but he thinks they look badass.

- Scars and jagged pieces of flesh everywhere on his body. They’re either from mission aftermaths, rough targets, or his own doing, but they’re all gnarly and barely healed half of the time. They hurt terribly, but he’s constantly cracked out on painkillers that he doesn’t even care anymore.

- Enjoys the shoegaze music genre. Aldn, Wisp, Elita, Deftones, and surprisingly, The Cardigans and The Cranberries. They remind him of his childhood.

Dating Him/SFW:

- “Baby” “Babe” “Cunt”

- Big words of affirmation guy. He’ll act disgusted and shove you off, rolling his eyes about your sweet words- but in reality, he’s gushing so hard he can’t stand it. Reassurance makes him feel more loved than anything.

- The fastest ‘enemies or lovers’ troupe you’ll ever experience. It’ll only take one face-to-face argument before you both get too close and he’s pulling you in for a rough make out. He’s bad with emotions, what makes you think he wouldn't be bad at reading love/hate signals too.

- HATES to show any sign of weakness or adoration. If you’re laying with him or holding his hand, as soon as someone enters the room he’s shoving you off. It’s not that he doesn’t love you, it’s a deep-rooted fear that someone will use you against him.

- If he’s spent the night in your bed, he will always be gone by the time you’ve woken up. Out of fear of vulnerability, he will only fall asleep after you and wake up before you, otherwise he just won’t stay with you at all.

- He’s like dealing with a little kid. Yes, he’s been through heaps of mental anguish and trauma, but he’s gone through all of that without a hand to hold. In some sad way, he sees something motherly and comforting in you which drives him to latch on and become dependent. It's weird, but so is he.

- Jealousy problems. Big time.

- “He touched you. So I cut his arm off. What is so hard to understand here?”

- Needs to be bossed around. He can and will rot in his bed all day unless you tell him to get up and do something.

- Absolutely melts when you kiss him unprovoked. When he doesn’t force you or tease you into one, but when you decide to kiss his face or hands on your own terms. It’s his favorite thing.

- In his manic brain, he wants something calm, someone who can settle him out. You offer him stability and a chance to unwind and that’s really all he needs.

- As a nervous response, he’ll intentionally push you away if he knows you like him. He holds a lot of regret, so he doesn’t want to drag you along with the rest of his baggage. Will say and do things he knows will hurt your feelings so you leave on your own.

- “And what made you think I’d want you? Because we kissed? Hah! How cute.” Meanwhile, he’s in his room pining himself to shreds.

- Watches you sleep constantly. Doesn’t matter where you are or how far, he will trek through your window or into your bed to watch you snore quietly against your pillow. He likes the vulnerability of it and acting as your ‘protector’, like you have no choice but to rely on him in this state.

- You are the last person Jeff wants to break down in front of, but when it eventually happens, and you’re there with open arms- the killer can barely breathe from how full his heart feels. The feeling of just being able to sob and bury into your shoulder while you rub his back is incomparable.

- Possessive AND protective to a fault. Wants everyone to know you’re his, but at the same time, really enjoys when you flaunt yourself so he can stare down the wandering eyes and really show them who they’d be messing with. Either way, eats it up when you feel good about yourself and safe in him.

- Nasty, terribly toxic relationship. You both bounce off of each other and are constantly arguing, but you both get over it because you’ve grown codependent. There’s nothing ‘casual’ about the two of you, you’re either fuck buddies or desperately clawing at each other for survival. Jeff is an obsessive guy, he either wants everything to do with you or he’ll hide away and tear himself apart over you.

- Jewelry is such a yes for him. If you’re wearing thick earrings or chunky necklaces that brighten your face, he eats it up. He’s such a sucker for silver.

- Does not ask for kisses, he takes them.

- “C’mon baby, I can’t help it. You’re just so fun to mess with.”

- Since he doesn’t sleep much, likes to lay on his back while your head rests on his chest/shoulder. He’ll tangle his fingers through your hair or brush your cheek with his thumb while he stares at you or the ceiling. Even when he has doubts about you loving him, your body always subconsciously shifts towards him while you’re snoozing, and it makes him feel just a little better.

- Fake punches/hits you when he’s bored. Will hold his hands up and box at your face but never making contact, just enough to have you side-eye him. He thinks it’s funny.

- Shoulder kisses.

Dating Him/NSFW:

- Can and will touch you inappropriately no matter the circumstances. His rough hands groping your ass or shoving between your thighs to give flirty little touches in front of everyone, his shit-eating grin when you get embarrassed.

- “Stop glaring, sweet cheeks. I know you want me.”

- Will fight to his dying day that he’s a top, but as soon as you even give him a glint of dominance or snap at him, he’s folding so fast. Dominant person, submissive lover.

- Killing machine on the field, pathetic ass bottom in bed. It takes forever to get to that point, but once he’s mentally checked out and half-drooling on the mattress, he’s so pliable and lightheaded he’ll take it with ease. You have to really work for it, but Jeff trusts you/wants it bad enough subconsciously that he’ll force himself to go into a subspace.

- All-time favorite position is laying you out on your back, one leg up on his shoulder while the other is being held down at your side. It really opens you up and gives the nastiest, most lewd noises that have him pussydrunk. Bonus points for reaching a hand in to choke you.

- “And to think you were beggin’ me to stop while your pussy is soaked. I mean, look at you, babe. You’re suckin’ me in somethin’ awful.”

- CHOKING. Either you or him, he gets off on it so bad. Choking you is so satisfying, he loves the resistance and struggle as you gasp for air, face flushed and eyes rolling with his fist around your throat. Meanwhile, if you’re choking him, his body nearly convulses from the pleasure. He loves the lightheadedness and pressure of it, hoarse chuckles as both of your hands grip around his neck and just squeeze. He thinks he could cum just from being strangled.

- “What’s wrong, baby? Lil’ too much? Ah- You’ll get over it, just open up f’me.”

- Hair pulling, strangling, biting, smacking—really anything that’ll cause pain.

- Standing side-by-side in the mirror, his body is littered with nasty cuts and scars while yours is littered with pretty bite marks and hickeys. He loves it.

- Eating you out is so tiring, but it’s all worth it to look up and see your heavy, glassed-over eyes beaming down at him, lips parted as you’re gasping.

- Hard, quick thrusts that have you gasping and yelping. His hips snap against yours rhythmically until you throw your head back, then he leans in close and shifts his knees closer to really speed up. He never has a set pace, but prefers always adjusting to whatever has you making the most noise.

- “C’mon… Louder- Hah- I’m not stoppin’ till you’re cryin’ for it.”

- A bitch fight every time you two get together. Bickering with the other about ‘who can last longer’ or ‘going until you beg for it’ and it irritates the shit out of both of you. Gets you both riled up that you’re more fighting than fucking, but by the end, you’re both dead exhausted and reduced to panting messed laid out on top of each other.

- Refuses to pull out. He can’t get you pregnant, Slender made sure of that (God help if this heathen was allowed to procreate), so it’s either in your cunt, ass, or mouth, nowhere else. Even if he’s jerking himself off, he’ll wait to cum until he can get to you and finish himself out.

- Stands over you and stares hard enough until you’re reduced to your knees, words never even leaving his lips before you’re unbuckling his belt and shifting his jeans down. He’s fought you enough, sometimes you like to just be good for him.

- Pulling him in by his belt >>>>>>>>>

- Eating you out or sucking you off so much that drool leaks from his scars, eyes so hazed and soft as he hums and moans against you.

- “You’d like that, wouldn’t you?”

- Fucked you with the handle of his knife because you read something about it in a book and wanted to see if it actually felt good. He was weirded out at first, but when he watched you jerking your hips and mumbling for him to fuck you, he’s never fucked his cock in faster while rubbing the blunt of the handle against your drooling clit. Same thing with running the blade against your skin. It just elicits some reaction out of you that he can’t understand, but it turns him on terribly.

- Has a big thing for cop x prisoner roleplay actually.

- “What? Officer, how am I supposed to finger you with these handcuffs, hm? I guess you’ll just have to let me go, yeah? Or do you not want it as bad as your pussy leads me to believe?”

- Really loves fingering you while he’s buried in your ass. Curling his fingers up to make you arch your back just a little more, having your head spinning from the overstimulation… yeah.

- A 2-3 round champion. He’ll never be able to just cum once and be satisfied, regardless if you’re ready to stop or not, he’s forcing his cock back into wherever it was or in a completely different hole and riding himself out to his next orgasm. If he’s not shaking and on the verge of passing out after sex, it wasn’t good enough for him.

- “Jeff, stop! We could get caught!” “Or you could just shut up and take your panties off. You’re soaked, there’s no point in fighting me when I’m already this hard… C’mon, baby, give me your hand or something…”

Thanks for reading!

Comments and reblogs are appreciated!

[tojbnuy]

boyfriend!toji when you randomly get your period.

you and toji had been cuddling on his couch for the past hour. toji had demanded you watch his favourite episodes of law and order with him as you both constantly bickered about who had better taste in shows. toji was also using this as an excuse to have you close, one of his favourite things to do with you was binge watch shows and movies. you were the type of person to make commentary throughout the entire thing but toji unfortunately found everything you said hilarious so he didn’t mind (though he would never tell you that). you’d watched two episodes by now and you were starting to feel ravenous.

“yeah alright doll i know, bbq wings and extra ranch.”

“awww look who knows my order off by heart”

“hard not to when you gobble it down 3 times a week.”

you punch his shoulder, obviously to no prevail as the man was built of muscle and muscle only. he tackled you back and the two of you go on play fighting until you sit up slightly and see the red mark on the thigh of toji’s sweatpants. toji’s face immediately turned into one of confusion, there’s no way he was bleeding from some play fighting, it didn’t even hurt? but you had realised what happened, you had realised but you really really hoped this one time you were wrong. and then toji saw the small red stain splotched on the back of your pyjama pants where you had previously been pressed into him whilst you were watching tv.

“uh oh baby d’ya get your period?”

“oh my god i think so” and with that you had ran off to the bathroom and locked the door. your heart was racing and your face felt like it was on fire. you and toji had only been dating for two months you were sure this would be it for him, he thinks you’re disgusting he has to. you peel your bottoms off and just as your about to get into the shower you hear a knock on the door.

“baby you wanna pass me your pants and i’ll put them in the wash?”

God why was he washing them? did he think you were the type of person to not offer to? how would you even give them to him he’d have to touch them? you didn’t have the voice to argue right then so you folded your pyjama pants as neatly as you could and without a word unlocked the door and plopped them into his waiting hands. he sounded like he had tried to get a word in but you had shut the door just as fast. he was probably going to ask you to leave as soon as you came out and you couldn’t blame him how could you have been so careless? you hadn’t heard from him again whilst you were showering and as hard as you tried you couldn’t get the tears to stop. you knew periods weren’t a big deal but you couldn’t help but feel so deeply embarrassed at what had happened. with trembling hands you crept your way to his bedroom and found some pajamas of yours you’d left on a previous stay. you’d also kept a stash of pads in his drawers for emergencies you just didn’t think they’d be this humiliating.

“mama you finished?”

after a few deep breaths you opened the door and braced yourself for him to ask you to leave.

“i’m so so sorry toji” you whispered, his name coming out of your mouth on a choked sob.

“mama what are you talking about?” toji didn’t know what to do. you were distraught, over some blood? he froze for a second at the sight of your red nose and bloodshot eyes, the hicuppy sounds of your quick breaths. then he swooped you into his arms and began caressing your back as he spoke.

“baby please tell me you aren’t this upset over getting some blood on me? like you haven’t cleaned my cuts and bruises hundreds of times by now”

“that’s not the same.” you said in between short breaths.

“it is tho baby. it’s just a bit of blood i’m a big boy i can handle it. in all honesty baby you could shit in my hands and i wouldn’t give a fuck.” he said in an attempt to make you laugh.

“toji ewww”

“kidding mama. kind of. seriously though baby look at me” he held your face gently in hands and lifted your head until you looked him in his eyes.

“you physically couldn’t do anything that would make me see you any less. you’ve done so much for me mentally and emotionally there is nothing on this planet that could ever make me be disgusted by you let alone something natural.”

you didn’t have any words to reply to him with and he didn’t need any. your expression had changed, the embarrassment had simmered down and all he could see now was affection and gratitude. toji understood you, he knew that sometimes you didn’t want to speak, especially after a long cry you had a tendency to stop talking for a while. with your face still held in his calloused palms toji pressed his lips into your soft ones. he pecked your lips, then moved to your nose, your forehead, over both your eyelids and then both your cheeks.

“my pretty girl. you want your wings now baby?”

and he couldn’t help but chuckle at the way your eyes lit up. you truly were his girl.

a/n : oh noooo he dropped his feminist literature books

[bluemousewithanxiety]

listen, I love a big, built like a brick house, tall, broad shoulders, tattooed, bike riding, doberman/blackcat personality types (but are actually sweethearts on the inside), older, guy. I will yap till the cows come home....

but there is something about a TALL, soft mop of hair, soft hearted, stuttering, wears soft sweaters, a little shy, slutty little waist, wears glasses, that just makes my heart flutter so gently and softly....

NerdGojo! to me is like the perfect embodiment of this type of man.

NerdGojo! is 6"3, shaggy white hair always tossed to perfection, wears his usual well fitted pastel coloured sweaters to class, always pushing up his glasses with his knuckles when it slides down his nose, has his head buried in a textbook or his Nintendo switch, always on time, has the same routine every week and never strays far from it.

NerdGojo! is a little shy, and a little experienced and will admit that when you two started talking he is texting his friends to figure out what to say, is it the right thing to say? Should he have doubled texted? He texted you at 6am, are you even awake? Shit he didn't send a goodnight text yesterday? Oh god what has he done.

NerdGojo! would constantly be in subreddits trying to figure out the things to say, information to know (ex. tv shows, Iconic movies), what girls like in terms gestures. Do you like flowers? Chocolate? Nick-nacks? Do you have a favourite flower? man's low-key freaking out.

NerdGojo! will take a suggestion from someone online about having a note on his phone of everything you said you ever liked so he knows what to get you for your birthday and any special holiday.

NerdGojo! loves when you ask him for help, could be as simple as asking him to reach something on a tall shelf, helping you with homework, even with mundane tasks like grocery shopping. He will be pushing the grocery cart with a love-sick grin on his face while you scurry around collecting things on your list, he just loves making these small memories with you.

NerdGojo! would become invested in your corny dating shows, "trash" tv, anything that you watch on a regular basis that would be considered a guilty pleasure. He started off just walking by, saying that "they had no intellectual value and how they're made to just rot your brain", but 1 season later he is glued to the couch, mochi in hand, getting annoyed if you watch an episode without him.

NerdGojo! would be the type to do stuff unintentionally to make you swoon, like grasping your shoulders lightly to move you in front of him when he sees someone speed-walking with them looking at their phone.

NerdGojo! on a busy day using public transit and people are just pressed up against one another, if you're both standing, he will stand behind you with one hand on the upper bar and one around you so you don't get crushed or bumped into. When he gets a little bit more comfortable with you, he will innocently offer up his lap when sitting after hours of walking so you can rest your feet.

If you tell NerdGojo! that sometimes when you carry stuff in your arms for long periods of time your upper back will hurt for the rest of the day he will just start carrying your luggage, purse, groceries, whatever it may be without question. He doesn't want to see you in pain and it gives him a chance to puff out his chest and put his arm workouts to use. So he's content on doing something so insignificant to most, but means the world to him.

honestly, I feel like NerdGojo! would be the type to write you hand written letters, with corny love poems, filled with your favourite quotes, stuff he saw that reminded him of you, and will actually go through the effort in going to the post office, picking out a cute stamp, and have them send it your address without saying anything to you and just waits for your reaction.

If you ever told NerdGojo! that you had a local stray cat you saw outside your house/neighbourhood and how you always stop to give it head scratches before you came to class, he will literally start carrying cat treats in his bag when he comes over.

NerdGojo! would melt the moment you first said, "Satoru." He looked at you like you held all the stars in the night sky together in a beautiful mosaic.

NerdGojo! when he realizes a few weeks in that, no matter how much he overthinks, no matter how much he thinks he's fucking up...

You will always be waiting for him to catch up, your eyes will light up when you make eye contact with him in a crowded room, you remember small details about his favourite video games, you will rub his back softly while he shrimps over his computer, you will take his glasses off his head when he accidentally falls asleep at his desk, you will always be listening like he's the only one in the room, and so much more.

NerdGojo! is someone who allowed his fears of people taking advantage of him, lying about their intentions, not only from seeing it in his family, but just the horror stories he see's online and with his friends. Initially thinking that he would be content being alone romantically, he's done it his entire life, what's another 80 years?

But, through spending time with you, NerdGojo! was able to put his guard down and realize how full his heart feels everyday with you, and how a life without you wouldn't be as bright.

[weaselandfriends]

Sword Art Online (anime)

Sword Art Online is a Frankenstein monster. Here is every episode of the first arc and how it was adapted:

Episode 1 is from the original web novel, published in 2002.

Episode 2 is from a more detailed rewrite of the story, Sword Art Online Progressive, published in 2012 (only a few months before the anime aired).

Episode 3 is from the second volume of the light novel, published in 2009.

Episode 4 is from a side story published shortly after the original web novel, in either 2002 or 2003.

Episodes 5 and 6 combine a side story published in 2007 and another side story from the eighth volume of the light novel, published in 2011.

Episode 7 is from a side story published shortly after the original web novel, likely in 2003.

Episodes 8, 9, and 10 are from the original web novel, published in 2002.

Episode 11 and 12 are from a side story published in 2003.

Episodes 13 and 14 are from the original web novel, published in 2002.

By stitching together stories written across an entire decade, often with wildly different purposes and goals, the anime is tonally erratic, with glaring plot and character inconsistencies. For example, Episode 3 is a tragic episode in which Kirito brings several low-level players to a high-level floor, leading to their deaths. Kirito is traumatized; he later explains that this incident is why he plays as a solo player, so nobody else will ever get hurt because of him. Episode 4, by contrast, is a lighthearted episode in which Kirito—having learned nothing, because this story was written six years before the previous one—brings a low-level player to a high-level floor as bait for dangerous player-killers. When the low-level player is comedically groped by a tentacle monster and cries out for Kirito to save her, Kirito only shrugs and says, "Come on, it's not that powerful." He's ultimately correct, and this time the player survives, but what happened to his trauma?

These inconsistencies, combined with Sword Art Online's massive popularity, made it the favorite target of the fledgling anime video essay community circa 2014 to 2017. Though it's possible to do a longform video poring over every single plot hole for almost anything, Sword Art Online made it easy; half of its "plot" was never intended to be arranged in this way, and even when there was intent, it was the intent of an amateur author writing their first-ever story. You couldn't generate a work more perfect for endless nitpicking and angry rants in a lab.

But if the show is blatantly incompetent, what made it so popular?

It's tempting to ascribe its popularity to "right place, right time." By 2012, the year Sword Art Online came out, the internet had changed the primary way people interacted socially. Rather than being bound by family, proximity, race, creed, religion, or so on, people grouped together by hobby. "Gamer" was now a community-binding identity, an attribute that distinguished a person and their niche online space from the othered outside. And the Gamers craved legitimacy. They craved the approval and recognition of mainstream culture. They craved representation, that feeling of seeing yourself reflected in the world around you.

The world refused them. The mood of the entrenched pop cultural elite was best encapsulated by Roger Ebert, famous film critic, who had been waging a years-long crusade against video games as an artistic medium. In 2005, in response to the live-action Doom movie, Ebert said, "Video games represent a loss of those precious hours we have available to make ourselves more cultured, civilized[,] and empathetic." He reiterated this claim in statements and essays in 2006 and 2010, and in March 2012, on the eve of Sword Art Online's airing, described Dark Souls—Dark Souls!—as a "soul-deadening experience." "Video games can never be art," he asserted plainly later that year.

In this milieu, it makes sense why Gamers glommed onto Sword Art Online. If nothing else, Sword Art Online takes video games seriously, more seriously than any non-video game media before it (asterisk; excepting .hack). This seriousness manifests in a consistent theme, a singular perpetually present thread that lingers even as plot, character, and tone skew wildly, stated by Kirito to Klein in Episode 1:

"This may be a virtual world, but I feel more alive here than I do in the real world."

This statement defines Asuna, who stops seeing her time trapped in the game as years stolen from her life, and instead learns to live each moment as if it were truly real. It defines Silica, mourning her dead Neopet and willing to risk her actual life to revive it. It defines Lisbeth, hurtling a million miles into the air but still for a moment enraptured by the beauty of a digital sun shining over a digital land. It defines Griselda, murdered by her husband Grimlock for motives he can only confusingly explain as related to how she "changed" in the game, how she became more confident, more self-realized, while he sank into despair (he was not a Gamer. He lacked the Gamer spirit). It defines Yui, the sentient NPC whom Kirito and Asuna adopt as part of a pantomimed marriage that the show's nauseatingly boring second arc is about protecting against an outside world that does not acknowledge it. And it defines Akihiko Kayaba, the game's creator, who when confronted at the end over why he trapped 10,000 people in this death game, can only say that he no longer remembers, before rhapsodizing about the "castle in the sky" he so achingly desired to bring to life. Unstated is that, to make it truly alive, he needed to make it—and the people inside it—capable of death. This logic is twisted, even more bizarre than Grimlock's murder confession, but neither the scene's wistfully poignant tone nor Kirito's responses reject it.

As the video essayists have done, it's pathetically easy to pick apart Kayaba's rationale. But to mire oneself in the story's logic is a mistake; Sword Art Online is not a story guided by logic. What matters is that Kayaba's illogical words are consistent with the ethos that underlies the narrative: The virtual world is as important as, or even more important than, the real world.

The anime's production values reflect this ethos, too. Sword Art Online looks strikingly cheap for its level of popularity. In almost every fight, still images with blur lines vibrate in tacky simulation of animation. There is no dynamism in the camerawork, and sword duels are often depicted in shot-reverse shot so only one participant is on screen at a time. Nobody interacts with their environment; every battle occurs on a flat, empty plane. Some of the monsters are CGI and look awful. The character designs are bland and generic. Even the music, by the otherwise-excellent Yuki Kajiura, sounds like phoned-in B-sides from her work on Puella Magi Madoka Magica (2011) and its sequel film, Rebellion (2013).

But what the show does expend effort on is its backgrounds, which are both visually inventive—floating islands, towering columns that hold up the sky—and depicted with glimmering post-processing effects to bathe them in sunsets, sunrises, rainbows, and starry nights. First and foremost, Sword Art Online sells its virtual world to the viewer, makes them believe in that world the way the characters in the story do.

And in having that world sold to them, in expressing its legitimacy and the legitimacy of those (hero or villain) who believe in it, the Gamers had their rallying cry, the work of media that finally said: You are seen.

But was it really Gamers that Sword Art Online saw?

While Sword Art Online is invested in selling its virtual world, it is not invested in selling its virtual game. The in-universe Sword Art Online is primarily defined by its lack of gameplay mechanics, rather than those it actually has. In Episode 1, Klein explains that the game lacks a magic system, which he describes as a "bold choice." In Episode 2, members of the raid party state that the game also lacks a job or class system. There is no long-ranged weaponry; everyone uses melee weapons, usually swords. The only strategy during raids is human wave tactics, where armies of players charge in and attack at once. The only cooperative maneuver is "Switch," a mechanic that is never explicitly explained but seems to involve a player who has already charged in backing off so another player can charge in their place.

Compared to even basic single-player RPGs, these mechanics are primitive; for an MMORPG, they're antediluvian. The point isn't whether a game with these mechanics would be fun or not (in many ways, it's similar to Dark Souls, where the basic core gameplay of dodge-and-hit is rendered meaningful by the consequences for failure), but rather that the game's mechanics have little importance within the story.

They're so unimportant that it's never explained why Kirito is so good at the game, what he's doing differently from everyone else. He's not even a grinder. He spends most of the first half of the story slumming on floors far beneath his level. It's no-nonsense Asuna who grinds hard, who tries to exploit the game mechanics, like when she proposes using NPCs to lure a boss. The plan makes logical sense, but logic is absent from Sword Art Online's ethos; Kirito rejects it, not on the grounds it wouldn't work, but because the NPCs would be killed. He prioritizes respecting the game world, while Asuna—at least initially—prioritizes respecting the game mechanics. Kirito's philosophy is ultimately proven right when he and Asuna adopt an NPC daughter who turns out to be sentient.

Meanwhile, Kirito's most impressive feat involves him ignoring the game's rules entirely. The one mechanic described in detail is that if you die in the game, you die in real life; when Kirito dies, though, he wills himself back alive to defeat the final boss.

The game, the experience of gaming, being a Gamer—none of these are part of the underlying ethos that guides the narrative decisions of Sword Art Online. Kirito didn't tell Klein, "I feel more alive playing this game." He said, "I feel more alive in this virtual world." Asuna didn't find happiness by exploiting the game, but by learning to live in it as though it were her real life. Kayaba didn't design Sword Art Online because he loves games, but because he wanted to make his world real.

This isn't a story about Gamers. It's a story about a virtual world. It's a story about the internet. It's a story about online community.

In his introduction to Speaker for the Dead (1986), Orson Scott Card describes the heroes of most science fiction novels as "perpetual adolescents": "He belongs to no community; he is wandering from place to place, doing good (as he sees it), but then moving on. This is the life of the adolescent, full of passion, intensity, magic, and infinite possibility; but lacking responsibility, rarely expecting to have to stay and bear the consequences of error […] Who but the adolescent is free to have the adventures that most of us are looking for when we turn to storytellers to satisfy our hunger? And yet to me, at least, the most important stories are the ones that teach us how to be civilized: the stories about children and adults, about responsibility and dependency."

Card, of course, wrote Gamer fiction long before anyone craved it. Ender's Game (1985) is obsessed with the mechanical minutiae of its titular game in a way Sword Art Online is not; its protagonist is successful in the mold of Asuna, able to understand and exploit game mechanics better than anyone else. But in this quote, Card describes Kirito perfectly. Kirito is, of course, an actual adolescent, emphasized by his character design and Columbine trench coat ("Don't show up to the GameStop tomorrow," you can almost hear him say), but his character is also adolescent in terms of Card's model. He spends the first half of the story as a solo player, wandering from floor to floor, doing good (usually), moving on. He lacks—or rather, avoids—responsibility. While Asuna is second-in-command of a top guild organizing high-level raids, Kirito is off on his own reviving some girl's Neopet.

When viewed from this perspective, Sword Art Online actually does have a coherent and comprehensible character arc for its otherwise inconsistent protagonist. Kirito develops as a result of his relationship with Asuna, finding through his marriage to her the responsibility that he previously forsook. When Kirito's error causes Sachi to die in Episode 3, he moves on, immediately abandons even his own trauma by Episode 4; Sachi is never mentioned again. (Of course not, since her story was one of the last ones written.) He feels no lasting responsibility for his actions. But later, Kirito realizes he could not brush off the trauma if the same thing happened to Asuna. It is through his responsibility to her that he joins the final raid and thus bears, shoulder to shoulder with everyone else, the cooperative responsibility of the entire virtual community of Sword Art Online. He has become an adult, with wife and child. He has become "more cultured, civilized[,] and empathetic," as Ebert would put it.

(And isn't that what Ebert is really saying, when he criticizes video games? That they are adolescent, childish, playthings?)

Through Kirito's character arc, and its underlying ethos about virtual worlds, Sword Art Online depicts online community via the language of marriage and responsibility that is traditionally ascribed to real-life community. This too resonated with its audience. After all, it wasn't just Gamers who craved recognition. Teenagers in 2012 had lived their entire conscious life in a world defined by the internet, and yet the "real world" considered online relationships and communities to be a joke. Sword Art Online, rather than legitimizing Gamers, legitimizes the virtual world, the internet.

But does it really even do that?

Immediately, Sword Art Online rejects the notion of online identity. Kayaba's first move upon trapping everyone inside the game is to force them all to look like their real-world selves. As per Sword Art Online's anti-logic ethos, he does not explain why he does this. Shortly afterward, Kirito looks at his real-world finger, which received a paper cut before he entered the game; he imagines it bleeding profusely, before saying, "It's not a game. It's real." By enforcing real-world identity within the game world, Kayaba possibly intends players to see the world as more real too, the way Kirito does. This fits the monomaniacal focus of Kayaba, and Sword Art Online as a story, on the importance of virtual space over any other aspect of virtual experience, and it's not surprising that Kirito tacitly agrees with Kayaba's decision when he and Klein tell each other they look better as their real selves than as their avatars. But it also alienates Sword Art Online from its connection to the reality of the internet, where personal identity is far more fluid.

Furthermore, despite his character arc, Kirito ultimately stands apart from his online community. At the end of the story, everyone lies on the ground paralyzed as he alone is given the privilege to duel the final boss, one-on-one. At this climactic moment, Kirito returns to being a solo player, while every other member of the community lacks agency, including Asuna. Especially Asuna. Shortly before the final battle, Asuna claims she'll commit suicide if Kirito dies, which is already an unhealthily adolescent view of marriage (as seen in Romeo & Juliet). Then, before the duel, when Asuna is paralyzed, Kirito demands that Kayaba "fix it so Asuna can't kill herself." Not only has Kayaba, the villain, stolen Asuna's agency over her own body, but now her husband is requesting he steal even more of it.

This, too, is part of Sword Art Online's ethos. Though the game has 10,000 people, nobody except Kirito actually matters. He is a "Solo Player" in the sense of Solo Leveling, the most popular airing anime, which has a mistranslated title; it should be "Only I Level Up." The implication of the real title is clear: Only the protagonist has agency. Kirito is the same. Only he plays the game, in any meaningful sense. The game—reality—bends to him; none of its rules, even death, constrain him.

It is total self-centeredness, a complete rejection of the responsibility to society that Card describes. This ethos pervades the show. Kirito is never wrong, even when he obviously is, like when he rejects Asuna's proposal to use NPCs as bait. The entire reason he realizes Heathcliff is Kayaba is because, during an earlier duel, Heathcliff beat him; Kirito (correctly) posits that someone who beat him must have been cheating. Everyone who likes Kirito is good, everyone who dislikes him is evil; Kuradeel, who chafes with Kirito initially over bureaucratic guild regulations, eventually unmasks himself as a sadistic serial killer. Every girl is in love with him, a harem rendered vestigial because Kirito is married to Asuna and expresses zero interest in Silica or Lisbeth or his sister or the second season's Carne Asada; but it's not about whether Kirito wants a harem, it's about the prestige of his ability to command one.

This is where the true face of Sword Art Online shows itself, what truly made it so popular, and where the core of its long-lasting influence remains.

Only the virtual world matters. Not the game, not the online community, not online identity. Only a different world, one that isn't the real world. And in this world, only Kirito matters. Sure, he'll fight to protect other people. Exactly like he'll fight to protect NPCs. In this world, real people are worth the same as NPCs, compared to Kirito. His wife is a real person; his daughter is not. But really, both his marriage and his child are a form of playacting, pretending at adulthood. When convenient, they are disregarded and trampled upon. Asuna spends the next two arcs of Sword Art Online sidelined—even viciously sexually assaulted—so Kirito can hang out with girls he doesn't even like, just because they're shiny and new; Yui is almost completely forgotten after the second arc, like a discarded toy.

This is an ethos of pure, distilled escapism. It is an escape from the real world to a false one, where every conceivable selfish fantasy is rendered real, where every desire can be granted and then disposed of when no longer wanted. It is an ethos without responsibility, without consequence.

And without shame. Sword Art Online is remarkably devoid of self-consciousness. It treats as real its virtual world, but doesn't feel the need to justify that world with logic. It doesn't feel the need to justify anything with logic; what it says is so, self-evidently.

In my Kill la Kill essay, I mentioned Sword Art Online's vast influence, and someone wrote (and sadly deleted) a well-reasoned response that explained how the aesthetics and tropes of modern isekai are much more heavily influenced by Japanese webfic that predate Sword Art Online, like GATE or Overlord or Re:Zero. That's true; I'd add that modern Gamer fiction, which is often obsessively concerned with the rules and statistics underlying game logic, is also not very similar to Sword Art Online on a superficial level. But Sword Art Online's ethos transcends genre. It can be found in isekai, Gamer lit, or even genres popular long before Sword Art Online, like battle shounen. Sword Art Online created the web fiction to light novel to anime pipeline, and in doing so popularized amateur literature and its decidedly adolescent mentality of shameless and solipsistic self-indulgence. "Only I Play the Game."

[keeira2]

I’LL ALWAYS LOVE YOU

stalkerexbf!rafe x fem!reader

masterlist

summary: life takes a weird turn when your introduced with an anonymous stalker. but everything changes when he breaks into your house and your met with him face to face..

warnings: crazy!rafe, pantie stealing?, creepy!rafe, rafe threatens you with a gun, sort of cnc, heavy on the smut, CNC, spit kink, degrading kink, tied up reader, soft!rafe at the end? MDNI 18+!! if i miss any pls lmk

a/n: this is kinda long whoops, not rlly proof read so ignore any mistakes pls. it’s also rlly kinky js giving everyone a heads up. hope you guys like it :3

after another long shift at the pelican yacht club, you’re finally home. throwing your keys onto the kitchen bench nd undress for ur shower. which was what you desperately needed after serving snobby kooks for the past six hours. you let the hot water fall down your body. scrubbing ur scalp and body clean of any grime from the day.

wrapped in ur towel, you walk to ur bedroom to get dressed. grabbing a baggy tee nd a lacy thong. as ur going thru ur lingerie drawer, you notice ur favourite pair of black panties missing? which was weird because you remember folding them nd placing them in there the night before.

you brush past it, getting dressed nd collapsing onto the bed to watch murder documentaries. after less than half the episode, you find urself drifting into a deep sleep.

days, even weeks go by, your daily routine unphased. another closing shift at work, you grab ur belongings nd start to walk home. usually you’d catch the bus, but when you close it’s already 10pm nd there aren’t any buses running this late to the cut. so you walk home, wrapped in ur fur hoodie trying to ignore the cold air.

it’s only a 10 minute walk to get home, which has never been a problem especially bc you know most ppl in the cut. but this time you feel a burning gaze shooting right thru you.

you shiver, partly because it’s cold but mostly bc you have an overbearing feeling that ur being watched. you hear a rustling in the bushes behind you, which could’ve been the wind but you were NOT taking any chances. so you start to run, not looking back. you don’t stop until you get home, quickly unlocking the door nd slamming it closed behind you.

you make sure to lock all the doors and windows before hopping in the shower, which helped you shake the creepy feeling off of you. you heat up some popcorn nd snuggle under your covers.

ur trying to pick a movie to watch, occasionally leaning over to grab a handful of popcorn you hear your phone ‘ding!’. lazily reaching over to grab and check it, you freeze when ur gaze lands on the message.

unknown number: you don’t need to run away from me, doll. was js making sure you got home safe ;)

someone was following you. oh my god. you sat still for a moment, still in shock. how did they get your number? how long have they been following you? you basically led them to your home, do they know where you live now?

millions of thoughts racing through ur head, you couldn’t help but text back, your hands shaking over the letters.

you: who are you???? please leave me alone.

before you can even shut ur phone off, another ‘ding!’ catches your attention like he was waiting for your response.

unknown number: you’ll find out who i am soon enough. i’m just looking after you, don’t be scared, doll.

what does he mean i’ll found out soon enough? is he gonna come after me? did he follow me home? you’re literally shaking in fear now, ur mind racing with different possibilities.

you: please. leave me alone.

you see he’s typing, but stops. he doesn’t text you for the rest of the night, maybe he listened and he’s actually gonna leave you alone. you were just hoping that maybe it was a prank from ur friends. anything except the fact that you might actually have a stalker.

you struggle to fall asleep that night. tossing and turning in your bed, desperately trying to calm yourself. ‘the doors are locked, nobody can get in. ur okay’ you reassure yourself.

a few days go by and you start to notice more panties going missing. what the fuck? you’re left with only a few pairs now, and there’s no way you’ve just misplaced them. the realisation dawns on you. what if he’s been here. has he been in ur house??

you try calming yourself down. ensuring every window nd door is locked. sitting back down ur cozy bed, u slip under the covers and bring ur knees up to your chest in a fetal position. your breathing is heavy while u hold ur head in ur hands. you quietly sob. ur so scared. you’ve only been living by yourself for 6 months and you were scared then. why me??

you didn’t even realise how much time had gone by or when you’d gotten tired. but you rub your closed eyes, letting out a big yawn and stretching your arms out. but when you finally open them, you freeze.

a man is standing in ur room, looking right at you. you can’t muster up the courage to say anything so you just stare back completely still, unable to see his face.

“hey doll, you miss me?” a familiar voice asks, stepping closer.

your mouth falls agape. no. no. no. no. no. this cannot be happening. you’d ended things with him MONTHS ago after he started acting out, getting angry all the time, threatening to hurt you and being literally insane. you blink ur tears away, one managing to roll down ur cheek.

“r-rafe..?” you whisper, if the house wasn’t completely silent he wouldn’t have been able to hear you.

“you’re so pretty when ur sleeping, baby.” taking a step closer to you now. you try to move backwards but ur back already pressed against the bed frame. u see him reach behind him, pulling what looks like a gun out of his back pocket.

“n-no, no please.. what are you doing?” you ask shakily, trying to back away further away from him to the other side of the bed.

he sighs, “i don’t wanna have to use this, doll,” shaking the gun in his hand to refer to it,” just listen to what i say and don’t give me a reason to hurt you, alright?”

you tremble with fear, “please, rafe, please leave.. i wont tell anyone. just please” you plead with him. praying that he’ll just go and never come back, even tho you know deep down that’s not gonna happen.

“m’sorry, no can do,” taking another step foward until he’s standing over you, ”missed you so much, can’t leave now.”

his words made your heart flutter, you couldn’t help it. you couldn’t deny the way ur thighs clenched together at the thought of him putting in all this effort just to see you. why are you like this oh my god?? no. u want him to leave. you need him to leave.

after a second of hesitation you finally ask “..what do you want, rafe?” wiping a tear from ur face.

he sits down across from you on the bed, holding the gun up to face you. ‘he’s only doing this to scare you.. he would never actually hurt you’ you try convincing yourself.

“aw come on, don’t be like that, angel” his hand grazing ur knee, before placing his large hand inbetween them to gently pull ur legs apart, “i bet ur so wet right now, so desperate f’me.” he groans nd u notice the massive buldge in his jeans.

u shake ur head, “no, rafe,” you sob again, “please go.” he brings the hand that’s holding the gun to your face, pushing the hair out of ur face with it, “sh sh, it’s okay.. ur okay. save the tears for when i’m done with you, alright?”

you don’t know if that’s reassurance or a threat but either way you feel your pussy getting wetter, his hand travelling lower until its resting on ur plush thigh.

“i need you to stay still, baby, or ur gonna get hurt.” he warns sternly before standing up and reaching for his back pocket again, pulling out a thick rope. u already know how this is gonna go.

he snatches both ur hands nd goes to tie them to the headboard. u squirm nd use ur trembling body to try and push him off, he doesn’t budge until u slap his face. his face turning back to you slowly, a hand against his jaw with a smirk.

“what did i just say? hm? ur gonna regret that, doll, makin me do things i rlly didn’t wanna do.” with a harsh grip he snatches ur wrists again, ur body squirming trying to release your arms but to no avail. when ur wrists are tied down, you whince, the pressure making you sore.

he reaches down to grip ur face and pulls you in to a desperate, hungry kiss. he hovers over you, pulling ur legs apart with his body. his tongue invading your mouth. as much as you hated this, you couldn’t help but kiss him back.

when he finally pulls away he wastes no time in ripping off ur shirt, “no bra, hm? knew you wanted this.” he groans and attaches his lips to ur tits, licking and sucking at ur nipples causing you to let out a series of faint moans.

rafe pulls away, snatching ur knees to spread your legs apart wide. eyeing you down, admiring the wet patch he’s created through ur panties. he lays on his stomach infront of you, giving ur thighs open mouth kisses.

“r-rafe, please..hmmpf” u whine. u don’t know if ur asking him to stop or if u want him to do more. ur so ashamed.

“please what, doll? use ur words cmon.” he teases ur swollen clit with his thumb, over the fabric of ur soaked panties.

when u don’t respond, his big hand slaps your pussy, causing you to let out a scream. “i said use ur fucking words” he raises his voice at you.

“p-please, eat me out,” u whimper when he rubs circles over ur clit, “need you.” that was enough to please him. so he tugs ur panties off, sliding them off ur legs and his tongue was licking a long stripe thru ur folds. “u taste so good, baby” he mumbles into you. without any warning, he inserts two fingers and thrusts mercilessly, now sucking ur puffy clit.

you let out a scream, or a moan, you didn’t know what it was but he makes you feel so so good. almost made you forget how he’s been breaking into your house and stalking you.

u tug to wrap your hands in his hair but remember ur wrists are tightly bound. he’s holding u down with one hand and fucking you with the other.

you feel yourself getting close, clenching around his fingers. u start to squirm, lifting your hips so he can get deeper but he detaches his mouth from ur clit and pulls out his drenched fingers.

“..why’d you stop?” you whimper, desperate for your release.

“youll cum when i say you can.” your eyes pleading with him but he shakes his head. “now your gonna take my cock like the filthy slut you are.” reaching for his belt nd yanking his jeans nd boxers off.

he starts teasing your folds with his cock, making you squirm even more. you know this is wrong. he’s insane. but you can’t help but enjoy his torment.

suddenly he roughly thrusts into you, without letting you adjust, pounding into you ruthlessly. the sounds of your skins clapping, his heavy grunts and your screams echo the room.

your legs unconsciously wrap around his waist. his hands grip onto your hips tightly, surely leaving bruises for you in the morning. “r-rafe, fuck, please sto-“ you screech when he goes in deeper. “fucking take it, quit complaining.” he yells before taking your tit in one hand, teasing your nipple inbetween his fingers.

he knew your body so well. you hated it. if this was anybody else you wouldn’t have been enjoying it like you are now. but it’s rafe. even when he was acting crazy in your relationship, he always made sure you knew how much he loved and cared for you. how he would do anything for you.

you can feel your release finally coming. you clench around his cock, silently begging he’ll let you cum. but to no avail, he pulls out. he unwraps your legs and sits over your chest. “open.” when you don’t comply he grabs your jaw and sticks his thumb into your mouth, “i said fucking open.” the second your lips start to part, he pushes his dick into your mouth, thrusting relentlessly making you gag around him. tears start to well in your eyes and when you try to pull your head away he latches his hand in your hair to stop you from moving. finally releasing you when you feel his cock twitch, followed by a hot flow of cum invading your throat.

he grabs onto your jaw again, giving you three light slaps to you cheek and spits in your mouth. “fucking swallow it,” hesitantly you do, opening your mouth back up and sticking out your tounge to show him.

he smirks, content with the sight in front of him. your hair disheveled, hot tears covering your cheeks and that look in your eyes, which you always had when you were around him. his sweet angel. he loved ruining you.

“rafey.. can i cum now, please? i’ve been a good girl.” you beg. the nickname making him flustered, which fortunately for him you don’t notice in the dark room.

“d’you think you deserve it?” he asks teasing to which you nod eagerly.

“please.” all your self respect and pride out the window now because you were so cockdrunk on ur psycho ex boyfriend you couldn’t think properly.

he shuffles back, spreading your legs apart again and moves his hand towards where you need him most. he begins toying with ur swollen clit before thrusting back into you. this time slower but just as deep.

you don’t hold back your moans, he makes you feel so good. but your cockdrunk haze interrupted when he started to speak again. “tell me you love me.” he groans, his eyes locking on yours. his thrusts hitting deeper, picking up the pace.

you were immediately taken aback. ofcourse you loved him, it’s rafe. but he’s crazy, god, he broke into your house and threatened you with a gun. he noticed your hesitation and starting rubbing your clit, almost sending you over the edge.

“y-yes, fuck, rafe i love you! hmmpf” you scream, your pussy clenching around him once again, his hand tightly gripping your throat. his thrusts brutal, pounding into you. you tug at the ropes bouncing your wrists when you feel pure bliss, your mind hazed and your pussy aching. his thrusts not stopping to ride out your high. you let out a loud, shaky moan/scream. the neighbours probably thought you were getting murdered. your orgasm leaves you limp, only ur legs shaking when he pulls out, yanking his boxers and pants back up.

what you’ve just done dawns over you. you’re so ashamed. you actually begged him to keep going. your tears reappear, trying to be as quiet as possible so rafe doesn’t notice and yell at you again. you wanted to kick him out, call the police and never see him again. the other part of you wanted him to hold you in his arms while you cry, and beg him never to leave your side. but right now, rafe decides for you.

he leans over to give you a sweet peck on the lips and reaches for your bound wrists. “are you gonna be good?” he whispers, eyes scanning your face for any lies. “i’ll be good, rafe. promise.” and you meant it, even tho you were choking back sobs of humiliation, you still meant it.

he untied the rope, your wrists aching and bruises already appearing. he leaves pecks all over the markings, which is his way of saying he’s sorry for hurting you. “i love you so much, y/n” he confesses, straightening back up to face you again. without even thinking, you lean forward, taking his jaw in your hands and you kiss him.

the kiss is beautiful, it wasn’t rushed or heated. it was slow and meaningful. when you finally pull away, you avoid his gaze. “i love you, rafey,” his eyes widen, he didn’t think you’d actually say it back. he knew you said it before, not because you meant it but because he basically forced you. but you did mean it. you never had stopped loving him, you were just tired of his lack of sanity.

he stands up and walks out of your room, leaving you on the bed alone without saying a word. a minute goes by, you felt so dirty and disgusting now. but before any worse thoughts could swarm your head, you hear footsteps heading towards your room. rafe is back, and hes holding a towel. oh, how you missed him.

he taps your thigh, signalling you to spread your legs and cleans up the mess you’d both made. discarding the towel, he crawls onto your bed and slides under the covers with you. “i’m really sorry, baby. i wasn’t trying to scare you. i just- i didn’t know what else to do.” his excuse was sloppy (and insane) but you still forgave him. you knew he was messed up, but so were you. in his head, he was just trying to show you how much he loved you, even tho to any normal person it’s a really creepy way to get someone back, you understood enough to let him hold you.

his arms wrapped around your waist, ur head snuggled in the warmth of his neck. “i know, rafe.. i’ll always love you.” you whispered before drifting to a heavy sleep in the comfort of his arms.

[messyoungie]

SELF CARE DAY FOR LOW ENERGY DAYS

it’s important to have different routines ready to match your mood and energy level. which is why I believe preparing for self care days for when you’re just not feeling your best is essential and a great way to look out for yourself. here’s my guide to self care days for low energy.

✧ 𝐌𝐎𝐕𝐄𝐌𝐄𝐍𝐓

despite your low energy, it’s important you still get your daily movement. however, exercise doesn’t always have to be intense.

try doing one of these

— 2 minutes of touching/trying to touch your toes

— 5-7 minutes of full body stretching

— 10 minutes of yoga

or maybe just stretch your neck, roll your shoulders, and take a few deep breaths. whatever you’re ready to do :)

links to short low energy workouts:

5 minute morning yoga

11 minute stress relief yoga

10 minute lazy girl workout

8 minute good morning pilates

✧𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐃

do something for your mind. journal, get your thoughts out, meditate, read five pages of an inspiring book. do something that you will love and that your mind will thank you for. whether it’s sitting in silence for a few minutes or playing a game that’ll challenge your brain.

journaling prompts <3

++ what’s been draining your energy recently?

++ what’s been giving you positive energy recently?

++ what’s your focus been on lately?

++ what are three things you’re happy are in your life?

++ how is my environment impacting my energy?

if your energy is low I really recommend writing about it. what’s making you tired? reflect on it and go easy on yourself.

✧𝐓𝐎 𝐃𝐎 𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓

the last thing you want to do is give your mind the responsibility of remembering your tasks. i don’t care how little you have on your schedule, write a to do list. on a low energy day, it’s important we’re easy on ourselves. getting everything out of our head and onto a piece of paper will not only make tasks seem more manageable but will also make our minds feel a bit lighter.

write everything. I mean it. even the small and seemingly insignificant tasks. even the parts of your routine that you do everyday anyways, write it all down.

✧𝐁𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐃𝐀𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐒

even though we’re a little bit down, that doesn’t mean we can cheat on the promises and boundaries we made with ourselves.

a low energy day doesn’t mean you can jump right back into your old habits. you’ll only feel worse if you do. it can be comforting to spend the whole day in bed, liking relatable TikToks and having a 7 hour screen time. but that’s not real rest. do something that’ll nourish you while also making you feel relaxed and comfortable. whether that’s watching an episode of your comfort show, rereading a chapter of your favorite book, or listening to your all time favorite songs while you just relax.

low energy is not a reason to practice unhealthy bad habits.

✧𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐕𝐈𝐓𝐘

how do we enjoy a low energy self care day besides the usual rest and relaxation? by doing some activities!!

things you can do on a low energy self care day:

++paint

++do your own nails

++movie marathon of your fave genre

++install and try out different cute & cozy games on your device

++bubble bath

++make a Pinterest board or Moodboard that will inspire you to be the best version of yourself

thank you for reading, take care!! ♡

— messyoungie

[lc-holy]

Thomas Astruc and Sébastien Thibaudeau were interviewed on Catboat's Twitch channel. A 5-hour interview in which they talk about their careers, the 5 seasons of miraculous and a little about the seasons to come. (There are no spoilers about season 6, only a few teasers).

The interview will probably be available with English subtitles.

In the meantime, here's a summary of what was said in the interview about season 6 and other Miraculous projects.

Thomas has always loved SAMG's work, and it was he who strongly suggested working with them on the series. But unfortunately, they will no longer be able to work with SAMG for future seasons of Miraculous. Episode production has changed and is no longer compatible with SAMG. However, he remains open to working with them on other projects.

Miraculous will be produced entirely in France from season 6 onwards.

The interviewer asked Thomas if an OVA project with Toei was still planned. But Thomas didn't want to answer the question.

Sébastien explains that they always plan the scenarios well in advance. For example, what happens in season 6 was already planned when season 3 was written. They've already written two pages of ideas for the Season 7 finale.

Thomas says they have ideas to go to a season 12 but it will all depend on the success of the series.

It's impossible for them to have one season too many, because their work is very emotionally demanding, and if they feel that what they're doing is no longer interesting, they stop.

Sébastien hopes that Season 6 will appeal to new viewers as well as those who have been following the series since the beginning.

Miraculous will never evolve into an adult series, it will remain a children's series. But they will always try to satisfy the fans who have been following the series for years.

They also wrote the series to appeal to parents who watch Miraculous with their children.

Sebastien teased us that there will be a song in season 6.

Thomas sincerely believes that season 6 is better than season 5, which was off to a bad start because he wondered how they were going to do better than season 5.

They had a lot of fun writing this new season, and the new writers who joined the series brought a lot of good ideas.

As season 6 begins a new arc, they consider it a season 1.

And with the new animation style, season 6 will bring a lot of new storytelling. It will be different. The stories won't be like the other seasons.

Some people will probably complain that it's different, that it's not like before. It's a question of adaptation.

Sebastien says we'll appreciate season 6 even more when season 7 comes out.

They don't know yet whether the theme song will change. Thomas would like to change, but he knows the fans love the theme song so they don't know yet.

Thomas hints that he didn't write the Shadybug and Claw noir universe to exploit it in a single special. But he remains very vague.

Thomas explains that there are many details in previous seasons that fans didn't understand, but which will make sense in later seasons.

There's a reason why Lila is a mythomaniac, and they'll tell it one day in the series. Thomas even says they've already told it in the series, but we haven't figured it out yet.

Thomas says that Chloe will remain an important character in the coming seasons, as she has always been in the series.

They have clarified that the new animation for the new seasons will have nothing in common with that of the Miraculous movie. Because the movie and the series are not linked.

They will soon be meeting to decide whether Miraculous will be made into a live-action series or not. It will be different from the series. Thomas mentions kwamis in particular, which are complicated to integrate into live action. Thomas has already written the concept. For the series to see the light of day, it will mainly be a question of budget.

[solecize]

°⛧  ‧  ₊   　 　⠀mnemonic 　⠀⠀⠀　 　⠀⠀　 　⠀⠀ [3]

　 　⠀　 　⠀⠀　 　⠀　 　⠀⠀　 　⠀　 　⠀　 　⠀　 　⠀　 *ੈ  ✩  ‧  ₊  ˚  .ೃ

⇢ 𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: swimmer!jk x female reader, college au, slow burn friends to lovers to ??, fluff, angst, slice of life, coming of age

⇢ 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: smut, substance use, college party and hookup culture, mentions of greek life hazing, characters experiencing just about every feeling a lost college student goes through, depictions of and discussions surrounding mental health (depression, anxiety, substance abuse), slow burn ish, disgusting amounts of yearning and clueless pining, yes he's her tutor at one point, yes they're in denial, also features other third gen idols, dare i say found family, there is a beach episode and a fireworks festival too lol

in which a little box of memories tells the story of how you and jeon jungkook slowly, but surely, fell in love against the backdrop of the growing pains of your college years. jungkook presents this box to you as a final gift at graduation and each item in the box is a snapshot frozen in time, capturing the forces that brought the two of you from strangers to friends to more. 

⇢ 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐛𝐨𝐱: masterlist. / prologue. / the loyalty points card from the campus coffee shop. / ticket to the haunted horrors house (admission for two). / a worn out deck of cards. / handwritten no-bake cheesecake recipe. / cd soundtrack for stand by me (1986). / travel brochure to derry beach. / a clipping from the school newspaper. / pieces of confetti. / one empty tequila shooter. / epilogue & the final item.

⇢ 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐬: i'll be updating more often now fingers crossed! there's just one and a half more chapters set in freshman year :)

  the haunted horrors house ticket (admission for two)

 homesickness was real and you couldn’t believe it. you missed the way your parents argued in the kitchen. you could count the number of cracks on your front doorsteps in your daydreams, missing the way you used to watch the sunset from that spot. you missed the local boba tea place, where all the baristas knew your name. you missed home.

 college was freeing, but so suffocating at the same time. by the time sweater weather rolled around, you had yet to accept this unnerving truth and distracted yourself with what you could. clutching your nth wine cooler of the night at a sorority party on the 31st of october, your drunken state left these heavy feelings behind.

 halloween during freshman year lasted eons for everybody. there was a sense of carelessness in the air, infectiously swimming about. even doyeon came out to party on halloween night in a half-assed cat costume, which shocked you. even though it consisted of just an all black outfit and face paint, she made it clear that she wasn’t a fan of greek parties. regardless, the peppermint air of autumn embraced all freshmen like a long lost friend on halloween, where the night never seemed to end.

 “yo! creepy mario and barefoot peach, we’re heading out - you coming?”

 you’d only ever seen parties get broken up by the police in the movies and were baffled to witness a pair of officers shut down tonight’s get together as a result of a noise complaint from the poor family next door. you imagined that it wasn’t fun, living next to a sorority house. when the girls started kicking everyone out, you’d been watching the ordeal from the living room couch with jungkook.

 “hey!” he exclaimed at yeri, who’d been making fun of his fake moustache all night for making him look like a 70s porn star. 

 you snickered. “jungkook, the mustache is a little ridiculous.”

 meanwhile, you’d decided hours ago that you would discard the pair of heels you originally opted for your costume. you were not a stiletto type of girl and immediately regretted your choice of shoes about thirty minutes into arriving at the party. you surely looked silly, lounging around with nothing on your feet, but you refused to even try one more time. 

 thankfully, jungkook decided to accompany you on the couch, as you’d otherwise be abandoned by the rest of your friends who spent their time mingling. yeri had been attempting to set up doyeon with someone from the cheerleading team for the past hour, while seokmin and jaehyun teamed up for a game of beer pong in the backyard. it was fitting, anyway, as the two of you showed up in unplanned matching costumes. yeri had whispered in your ear about how cute you and jungkook looked, but you ignored it.

 jaehyun was standing by the doorway, gesturing for you two to get up. “c’mon!”

 “where are we going?”

 “the fairgrounds!” he responded.

 the local fall fair wasn’t of much interest to you initially, especially since you preferred spending time on campus. you found yourself enchanted by the changing leaves in the quad and the smell of pumpkin spice in your lecture halls. there was something special about the season of fall on a college campus, a buzz of warmth settling in the air. going out into town felt like a hassle, if anything.

 with that, jungkook rose and to your confusion, squatted slightly. he noticed your expression and laughed. 

 jungkook said, “hop on.” 

 you realized that he was telling you to get on his back, to save you from your aching, barefoot feet. it took half a moment, before a grin tugged at your lips and you wrapped your arms around his neck, legs curling around his waist. despite swaying back and forth drunk, he hoisted you on and impressively grabbed your shoes with one arm at the same time. 

 things were just the slightest bit confusing with jungkook. over the past month, a group formed with him, seokmin, jaehyun and your roommates naturally and you’d all been hanging out here and there. you were forming a tiny crush on the attractive male, but then you’d heard that he was hanging out with dahyun - some girl on the women’s swim team. meanwhile, your roommates had been encouraging you to keep meeting different kinds of guys and that freshman year was not the time to be settling down. well, it was mostly doyeon, as yeri was convinced you and jungkook were soulmates. 

 “don’t tie yourself down,” doyeon had said to you one night, after the three of you came back your dorm from the dining hall. you all ran into jungkook and on the way back, yeri was poking fun at your obvious crush.

 yeri cut in. “they’d be cute together, though!”

 “i don’t even think he likes me like that. sometimes, i think he does, then the next day, he fist bumps me like i’m one of his bros.” you groaned, burying your face in your hands.

 you pushed these thoughts away from your mind, as jungkook effortlessly carried you out the front door. most of the other partygoers were walking towards their ubers, while you spotted doyeon’s car at the corner of the intersection. the rest of your friends were already comfortably seated and as it was a five seater, you knew that you’d unfortunately be one to squeeze in. 

 “don’t worry, i have extra shoes in my trunk,” doyeon called out. 

 seokmin sat in the back, pouting. “why are we going to the fair again?”

 “what else do you want to do?” she shot at her cousin. “besides, i’m the one with the car and i don’t want to go to another party.”

 that point was enough to shut him up. at the very least, he began rambling about the ride he wanted to go on.

 the back of the car popped open and jungkook grabbed a pair of hot pink sandals - fitting for your costume, at least. you thanked him as he set you down right on them, a giggle escaping you. the shots you had earlier definitely still had its effects on you.

 when you came around the corner, the three boys were seated in the back and it looked nearly impossible to squeeze in. however, instead of yeri offering to switch with one of them, a mischievous glint shone in her eyes. 

 “y/n, just sit on jungkook’s lap, he’s mostly sober. seokmin or jaehyun will probably throw up on you if you sit on them.”

 jungkook raised an eyebrow at her. “why don’t you just swi - “

 “can you guys decide, please? now? the guy behind me is getting mad,” doyeon cut in.

 right on cue, the car to the back of doyeon’s honked repeatedly. your eyes went wide and had no choice but to take your place on jungkook’s lap. you could have sworn you saw the flash of a smirk on yeri’s face through the rearview mirror. as soon as you sat down, doyeon immediately zoomed off without warning.

 you yelped, but were thankfully saved by the grip of jungkook’s hands on your hips. it was a blessing that it was nightfall, as nobody could see the tint of pink on your cheeks when he did so. 

 “geez, doyeon,” jungkook remarked, while she apologized profusely. “you good, y/n?” he asked, hands still in the same place.

 you nodded. “yeah, thank you. i thought i was going to die.” the joke elicited a round of laughter from your friends.

 “i swear i’m a good driver!”

 an hour later, you and your friends were at the fairgrounds, debating on what attraction was up next. it was nearing midnight, yet the event was still bustling and full of life. kids’ laughter chimed in throughout, joyful with the spirit of halloween and the freeing nature of being permitted out late for this special night. salty popcorn filled your lungs along with. . .smoke?

 after getting tired of losing to yeri in every game stand, seokmin led the six of you to the haunted house at the very back of the grounds. the sputtering of its smoke machine sang like a bad song and was slightly concerning, but it was one of the last places that you hadn’t checked out yet. there also happened to be no line and after listening to the boys complain for ten minutes, waiting for the ferris wheel, it was ideal.

 ‘nah. no way i’m going in there,” jaehyun vigorously shook his head upon taking in the exterior, which caused the rest of you to giggle.

 the so-called ‘haunted horrors house’ was a towering sight to behold, structured to mimic gothic architecture in a way that did not fit in with a cheesy fall carnival. other than the neon green sign that read its name, its old and run-down exterior fit the bill of an actual haunted house. the columns were lined with cobwebs and its windows highlighted by cracks and bloody handprints. just from the outside, you could notice flickering lights and hear echoes of giggles - even if it was just a sound recording of some kind, it was bone-chilling. 

 yeri teased, “what, are you scared?”

 although he remained silent, you noticed the way jungkook sighed upon the suggestion. it seemed like jaehyun wasn’t the only person who didn’t want to be there. he caught your eye and nervously turned away.

 “you can only buy a ticket in pairs,” advised the person manning the front of the haunted house. she pointed to the sign by the register, which informed customers as such.

 seokmin continued insisting that everyone go for the experience, as he offered to partner up with jaehyun to ease his fears. that left yeri with doyeon and all of a sudden, the four of your friends looked at you and jungkook expectantly. 

 there didn’t appear to be a choice in the matter - you and jungkook were going to be paired up.

 zero qualms emerged, though, until no one stepped up to be the first ones to go. the booth attendant began growing impatient, as there was now a line forming behind your group of friends. her bored eyes fell on the two of you.

 “hey. mario and peach. it’s going to be ten bucks, cash only.”

 even though he didn’t have an ounce of excitement on his face, jungkook pulled out his wallet without hesitation. as if on cue, you reached for your phone in your back pocket, already ready to electronically transfer him your half of the ticket money. he noticed and put his hand up.

 jungkook said, “don’t worry about it, it’s on me.”

 “it’s fine, i got it,” you insisted, as he handed the girl a ten and still held his hand up in protest.

 she stuck the bill into her tin and pointed at the sign behind her, prompting the two of you to sign a waiver. there were a set of rules for each participant, basic ones that went over health and safety risks. no attacking the actors, the house was a one way path only, etc. then, she looked back at you and jungkook and narrowed her eyes. her voice fell below a whisper.

 “and there are cameras in there. so no funny business with your boyfriend,” she warned and both you and jungkook were now tomato red in the face. “got that?”

 thankfully, with her quiet volume, none of your friends were able to hear what she said. when the two of you didn’t respond out of embarrassment, you feared that she would repeat the statement again, only this time, louder. so, to avert disaster, you nodded furiously and grabbed jungkook by the arm.

 “yeah! yeahwegotitthanks,” you choked out in one breath, dragging him past the booth attendant and into the haunted house before she could say anything else.

 as soon as you and jungkook stepped into the foyer, the air immediately went icy. the area looked exactly the way you expected it to - ancient and dark. the only source of light was a single candle propped up by the arch into the hallway. hung on the walls were rusty portraits of paintings with faces scratched out by claws. an eerie set of porcelain dolls welcomed you on a shelf, which jungkook jumped at. 

 creepy sounds alarmed you - louder giggling by a child, creaking floors, and unsettling music. you looked back and noticed that the attendant actually locked the front door, hearing the click of a key. no wonder there was a damn waiver.

 goosebumps popped up along your legs, as you shivered. you noticed that your arms weren't as freezing and realized that it was because you were still clutching onto jungkook.

 “oh, sorry!” you yelped, jumping back. 

 it seemed like jungkook was too busy scanning his surroundings, his fear growing with each passing second, despite just standing there. the haunted house had barely begun. he turned back to you, stone cold expression.

 “you won’t make fun of me?” he requested, slowly.

 “as long as you don’t make fun of me.”

 jungkook let out a sigh of relief. as a last resort, he checked the knob of the front door once more, just to see if escape was plausible. he fiddled and fiddled - still locked. 

 at the same time, the two of you met a shared understanding. jungkook held out his arm once more - whether it was for your safety or his own, it wasn’t clear - for you to grab and you did so. you were positive that his grip was even tighter than yours, but you bit back the complaint. poor guy was shaking, but you found it incredibly endearing. 

 “it’s just a fake house, let’s have fun,” you soothed, rubbing his arm playfully.

 he forced a chuckle. “alright, let’s go, princess.” it took a moment for you to realize that he was calling you princess in reference to your costume and not you.

 the two of you trekked forward into the first hallway, where every other lightbulb flickered on and off. several other portraits hung on the walls, depicting some sort of family in each one. the faces were all still scratched out.

 “cool, there’s a storyline or something,” you said, trying to break the tension.

 “AHH!”

 jungkook’s voice filled the hallway when a hand popped out of one of the portraits. you gasped loudly, nearly falling over. that was jump scare number one.

 when you both recovered, you couldn’t help but look at each other and laugh. 

 “i swear, y/n, what happens here stays between us,” he muttered, tugging for you to keep walking forward. you liked the way he took charge and held onto your wrist.

 you replied, “of course.”

 that is, you kept walking forward until you realized all of the doors were blocked off with caution tape. the haunted house was supposed to be one way and you were left confused. where were you supposed to go next? jungkook was wondering the same thing, as he looked around.

 “this is getting kinda weir - oh, shit.” his eyes widened when a new entryway appeared, just as he stepped on a loose plank of wood in the floor. it triggered the opening, revealing a smaller, darker hallway that seemed to be the next part of the house.

 your jaw nearly dropped to the ground. “nah. nuh uh, no way am i going in there!”

 “come on, you’re supposed to be the brave one out of the two of us here,” jungkook groaned, scratching his head.

 you were right. the ten bucks was already spent and the front door was locked. it wasn’t like there was anything going back now. you took a deep breath, imagining yourself in a far away paradise in front of the ocean instead of a creepy haunted house. when you opened your eyes, you had no choice but to shrug it off and pull jungkook into the new hallway.

 some sort of sound recording of whispers and giggling grew louder as you and jungkook crouched down to fit into the entryway. the hallway lead to just one room and as you approached it, the two of you jumped at the sudden sound of a scream that didn’t belong to the two of you.

 jungkook nearly squeezed the life out of you this time.

 “shit! ah, sorry, y/n!” he exclaimed, completely freaked out by the noise. you barely heard it, as you were screaming yourself. you were certain that your friends outside could hear your shared yelling, probably laughing their asses off. 

 the two of you hadn’t even reached the door yet and you saw that it was staged to look like a library of some sort. you and jungkook were practically holding onto each other for dear life now. you were so close to him that you could hear the beating of his heart. another small jump scare occurred when the books began moving on their own, vibrating in place as if possessed by a ghost.

 here, you nearly rammed into the taller man, having whipped around and forgetting he was right behind you. he caught you from toppling over, arms wrapped around your body, and you swore you were close enough to count the number of eyelashes on his lids. his look was intense and you felt dizzy, under a hypnosis that you’d never felt before. he didn’t let go and it wasn’t because of your frightening surroundings. 

 for once, an eerie peace wafted in the air, as silence spread. you and jungkook looked at each other, weary. 

 his lips parted slightly, as he refused to break his gaze. you could feel your heart beating louder and louder, like a relentless drum, and you hoped he wasn’t close enough to feel it. you could have melted into him at that moment, an unknown desire creeping up on you with jungkook just inches away. he was so. . . pretty. and you were drawn to him, a magnet. 

 “you know,” jungkook began, just below a whisper. “i’m kind of glad we did this.”

 you fought a shiver trailing up your spine. “what do you mean by that?” there was only one answer you wanted to hear. 

 you wondered why he wasn’t moving either, as you missed the way his eyes swept over your lips. this wasn’t good - if neither of you moved now, you were under a spell that released all common sense. you wanted to kiss him and you were afraid of getting let down.

 “y/n - “

 at that moment, an actor in a clown costume popped out from behind a bookshelf and a new door simultaneously opened to its left. this time, you and jungkook screamed at the top of your lungs and hand in hand, sprinted out of that door. 

 “eumph. . .jungkook, you’re a little too strong,” you whispered, the first excuse coming to mind, and he immediately loosened up.

 “sorry, sorry!” he apologized profusely. “that thing is going to kill us!”

 “koo, it’s just a costume!” you tried chasisting, despite being scared out of your mind.

 the two of you kept running until you found the next room, which was the kitchen. the cycle of jump scares and actors continued on, as your and jungkook’s shared unwavering nerves bonded you closer the entire time. at some point, both of your laughter filled the air.

 eventually, as soon as the exit sign was in sight, jungkook practically dragged you out with all his might. you were surprised when you met a stream of bright lights upon pushing the last, rusty door open and it turned out to be the outside world, instead of another hidden room or jump scare around the corner. jungkook sighed loudly, as the two of you made it out.

 the shit-eating grins of your friends greeted you. however, it didn’t seem like they were amused at the fright the haunted house gave you two. they all stood exactly where they left you, except they were now all staring intently. you wondered if your screams must have been that loud.

 “was it that bad?” doyeon sang and you eyed her with confusion.

 safe to say, you’d long turned stone cold sober, but were drunk on something else. a swarm of emotions settled at the pit of your stomach, before it was stripped away. you noticed that jungkook had finally broken away from you - his hand was clasped in yours the entire time, even upon exiting the haunted house. it took a second for both of you to notice, as a pink tint stained his cheeks and ears when he did. that was why your friends were grinning.

 “our turn!” seokmin yelled, causing jaehyun to groan and the rest of your friends to laugh at the pair.

 the attention was now off of you and jungkook, but your mind was fixated on the absence of jungkook’s touch for the rest of the night and how it almost felt like something you didn’t realize you needed.

 it seemed like the push and pull game with jungkook went on for a little too long and he found something new to play with. the sideways glances and lingering touches weren’t enough, but you didn’t know what to expect in the first place. the sight wasn’t betrayal by any means, but it didn’t mean that you didn’t harbour a pit of disappointment when you saw jungkook making out with another girl the very next day.

 “halloweekend” was every college student’s favourite made-up holiday, along with march madness and st. patrick’s day. okay, maybe the last one was somewhat of a real holiday, but you’d think it was the biggest deal in the world if you walked onto any college town’s streets during this coveted day. too early into the year, you wouldn’t know just quite yet, too fixated on how jam-packed halloweekend was. 

 you were planning to stay in the next night after the fair. it wasn’t common knowledge to you that you were apparently meant to continue partying into the weekend, even past actual halloween day. this news was rudely broken to you at six pm on that saturday, when a loud banging on the door interrupted your pedicure session with doyeon.

 it was like doyeon could smell her cousin’s antics from a mile away. her lips curved into a scowl, somehow already knowing that it was seokmin in the hallway without needing to be told. you swore that girl was psychic sometimes.

 “leave!” she shouted through the walls, putting down the cherry red nail polish back on the floor with a slam.

 the knocking persisted and doyeon sent you a pointed look when you stood up with a sigh. you sent her one back. at this point in the school year, the two of you were already able to communicate with nonverbal gestures. she resigned with her own sigh, as you continued walking towards the door. you were certain that the two of you were not going to be left alone, which left you with only one choice.

 looking through the peep hole, you burst out into laughter. you had no choice but to open the door.

 “what?” asked doyeon.

 upon swinging the door, her jaw fell. it was hard to not do so, when seokmin and jaehyun stood outside in the most ridiculous elf costumes. or, at least that’s what you assumed they were. seokmin appeared particularly enthusiastic with the most ridiculous grey beard hanging off his chin, its string tucked just underneath the impressively pointy magenta hat on his head. meanwhile, jaehyun looked more embarrassed than anything and you could tell whose idea this was.

 doyeon already had her hand up. “no - ”

 “hear us out - “

 “why would i hear out dopey and bashful?”

 you stifled a snort, stepping aside to let the two fools in. 

 jaehyun raised an eyebrow at doyeon. “those are snow white’s dwarves. wrong fantasy race.” he pointed to his fake ears. 

 she wasn’t listening. she sat in the same place with her arms folded across her chest and simply waited for the explanation.

 turned out that there was a costume contest being held at some frat house. seokmin already convinced yeri and jungkook apparently and thought it would be best to show up in person in order to coax you and doyeon out. 

 “it’s halloweekend! you thought the festivities were over?” he said. 

 it wasn’t too hard to convince the two of you, surprisingly. of course, when you heard jungkook was coming, that was all it took. on the other hand, seokmin bribed his cousin with some pre-rolls and soon, the four of you were on your merry way to meet your other friends. apparently, seokmin changed his pledge from kappa alpha psi to sigma chi (not that you knew the damn difference) all of a sudden and wanted to make a good impression with the whole costume thing.

 dryly, you murmured to doyeon, “you’re so easy to bribe.”

 “what? seokmin has a really good plug and he only gets the pricey shit.” doyeon shrugged.

 you weren’t particularly interested in competing in the contest, so you threw on yeri’s bunny ears from last night and called it a day. 

 the party ended up being just as bustling as the one the night prior. the walls danked like nobody’s business and you felt the humidity of the room as soon as you stepped inside, as there was barely room to walk with the sheer amount of bodies filling the space. the frat house was definitely grimier than last night and you had to hold your breath moving through various vape clouds. seokmin, being a poor freshman pledge, told you and your friends that he would catch up to you later on, as he was assigned door duty.

 “yeri and jungkook are probably somewhere around here,” jaehyun said, voice at the loudest volume you’ve ever heard his quiet self talk at, as he fought to be heard against the booming bass of the party’s speakers.

 it was easy to find yeri, who was sitting on the couch with her fellow cheer team members or model un students - whatever the hell it was from the endless list of extracurriculars that she was involved in.

 “you convinced them!” yeri exclaimed, pleased to see her two roommates out and about.

 jungkook, on the other hand? even easier to find. it was almost impossible to miss the way he sat on a poolside chair with jung eunbi sprawled on his lap, with her tongue down his throat.

 the living area was situated right next to the sliding doors that led to the backyard. as soon as you approached yeri, you could see outside through the floor to ceiling windows and ultimately, the view of him.

 maybe it wasn’t that easy. there was at least fifty people in the backyard and about a dozen more lounging about in the pool. a volleyball strung across the middle and neon lights installed underneath the water shone an impressive array of amethyst, sky blue and bubblegum, reminding you of birthday cake sprinkles. the way your cheeks heated up certainly wasn’t as sweet, but you allowed yourself to get lost in the swirl of led lights to keep your eyes off of jungkook. the speakers outdoors were just as loud as the ones inside, as the bass of some migos song boomed and crawled underneath your skin. 

 “jeez, another one?” jaehyun mused aloud and it forced you to come back to reality.

 yeri turned around and upon noticing jungkook, clicked her tongue. “what the hell?”

 only she seemed to notice your dejected look, but you’d already turned away and pretended to be busy taking a sip of the disgusting jungle juice the frat offered. the drink stung your throat, but not as much as the sight outside stung.

 “what do you mean another one?” doyeon asked, turning to jaehyun.

 “sorry, that sounded objectifying. but,” he shrugged. “kook’s just been on a roll these past few weekends, if you catch my drift.”

 oh.

 you felt your chest crackling like fresh ice, each crevice burning you - mostly with embarrassment, at that. you didn’t have to look at yeri to know that her expression was strewn into one of pity. again, you reminded yourself that this wasn’t betrayal. it was just a silly little crush. jungkook didn’t owe you anything and it wasn’t like you voiced any of these potential feelings to anyone, despite yeri’s encouragement.

 those potential feelings were definitely gnawing at your stomach at this point, as you spared another glance out the window. 

 eunbi was a pretty girl, a sophomore that was the student union treasurer or some shit like that. she was one of those people that everyone on campus knew, somehow amassing a healthy couple of thousand followers on her socials. you remember her from orientation week, giving out t-shirts to freshmen with a blinding white smile. it was the same smile pressing into jungkook’s lips and that’s when you had to turn away again.

 “should we play some pong?” you suggest aloud to no one in particular.

 jaehyun and doyeon were immersed in a heated debate about the moon landing after spotting someone in an astronaut costume. meanwhile, yeri simply stood there in awkward silence and tried to not make it obvious that she noticed the dejected look in your eyes. the three turned their heads towards you and immediately agreed, moving to take over the mostly empty dining table on the other side of the room - thankfully, far away from the backyard.

 “i don’t want to drink beer,” groaned yeri, as you all took your positions around the table.

 sipping on beer turned into taking half shots of smirnoff for each cup during the game. given what you just saw outside, you agreed to the rules without hesitation. 

 as the game begun, you thought back to the past month, getting to know jungkook and his friends. the six of you all saw each other at least once a week and even more often in smaller numbers. it was easy when you all lived in stratton hall. seokmin would sometimes join you and doyeon for breakfast in the dining hall. you and yeri went to the gym a few times, around the same time jungkook would be in the middle of his workout and there was always room for chatting. 

 during the times where it was the six of you, usually out at parties like this or even group study sessions, jungkook never failed to sit next to you. he never failed to joke with you and defend you from seokmin’s teasing.

 maybe you really were looking too much into it. you swore there were lingering looks and one too many late night text conversations about nothing. jaehyun was your partner for the pong game and while he took his shot, you peeked at your phone to reread the last thread of texts you had with jungkook from last night, after the fair.

 saturday november 1   [3:35 am] jungkook 🍓: dude theres like 3 ppl passed out in our hallway lmao did you guys get in okay? [3:36 am] you: yes worry wart haha we made it and didn;t trip over any drunk bodies [3:36 am] jungkook 🍓: WHATEVER  [3:36 am] jungkook 🍓: jaehyun and i almost died getting into our dorm so [3:37 am] you: well you almost died in the haunted house today so congrats [3:37 am] you: you cheated death twice today!! [3:37 am] jungkook 🍓: you’re evil let’s not talk about that place ever again [3:37 am] you: i wish i had my phone to take a picture of ur face it would have been golden blackmail material [3:37 am] jungkook 🍓: [attachments: 1] [3:38 am] you: don’t pout at me :(((( that’s dirty koo [3:38 am] jungkook 🍓: because you’re evil [3:37 am] jungkook 🍓: sleep well princess peach  

but, that wasn’t even the end of the conversation because you and jungkook began exchanging tiktoks and memes for the next hour after that. you wanted to bang your head on the nearest wooden surface. being awful at pong helped alleviate the desire, as with each missed shot came vodka.

 “you guys suck,” yeri cackles, watching another one of her balls sink into the final red solo cup.

 jaehyun groaned next to you, but he was just as bad as the game as you were. you smiled sheepishly at him.

 he held out his hand. “good game. we tried our hardest,” jaehyun said, being a good sport about it. he also took the courtesy of taking the final shot just before that and you silently thanked the heavens. 

 you laughed and shook it. the laugh that came out of your mouth sounded like you needed water, as you were certainly drunk after losing so badly. one of your hands was gripping the ebony of the dining table, as your eyes swept your surroundings for the nearest sink. 

 “i’ll be right back!” you exclaimed to your friends and already left before any of them could offer their companionship.

 the song playing in the background was that one katy perry song about dancing on table tops and funnily enough, there was a gaggle of girls dressed up as charlie’s angels doing so. you prayed that none of them would fall on top of you as you squeezed across the room.

 unlike last night, you learned your lesson and did not wear a ridiculous pair of heels. you hadn’t even given your costume a second thought when seokmin and jaehyun barged into your dorm earlier that evening. yet, somehow, you were having a harder time walking tonight.

 you thought it was just the bass of the music throwing you off guard, but you realized you were genuinely swaying back and forth a few seconds later. 

 “shit! fuck!”

 it was like one of those slow motion videos you’ve seen online of disaster striking out of nowhere. a car crash or something. you saw the big, burly guy come your way without even looking straight and you shouldn’t have trusted him to get out of the way. he crashed into you before you could even process what was happening - hell, your swaying back and forth made it so that you were practically leaning into it.

 with a gasp, your entire upper body was soaked in the disgusting jungle juice that was offered to you earlier. in a murky maroon colour, it not only seeped through your white shirt and stained it, but your bra was now visible. you only noticed this because everyone around you decided to stare right into your chest.

 “shoot, i’m sorry -” the guy began, but he was slurring and obviously not in the right state of mind.

 you stuttered, feeling heat creep up on your cheeks at the feeling of dozens of pairs of eyes on you. in your inebriated state, you didn’t even know what to say. you’d never had so much unwanted attention in your life before and you thought you were about to shrivel up and, well, die. 

 “i - “

 then, you felt something heavy drape over your shoulders and the scent of sandalwood and whisky filled your senses. when you looked up to see what it was - or rather, who - he already had your wrist clasped in his grip and was tugging you to another room.

 jungkook.

 he was leading you through the house and you heard him cuss when the two of you stumbled upon an insane line for the bathroom. jungkook looked back at you for the first time, concern glimmering in his eyes. you looked down and it was his denim jacket that he put over your shoulders.

 “one sec, there’s gotta be a free bathroom upstairs,” he says calmly, peering over to the staircase. “are you okay to go up the stairs?”

 “mhmm,” is all that you could muster, too stunned at what just happened and how he just appeared out of nowhere.

 jungkook gave you one of those boyish, crooked smiles that you liked. he gently led you to the staircase, one hand on your back. 

 “where’d you come from?” you asked, as if you didn’t already know.

 he answered while still steering you up each step. “i was in the backyard. i was waiting for you guys to all come and when i came inside, yeri said that you went to get some water.”

 when he led you into the bathroom, you noticed that he had a bottle of water in his hand. jungkook noticed and chuckled.

 “i figured you’d have a hard time looking for it. the frat is kinda stingy with water and i wouldn’t trust their sinks.”

 you managed to snort. “again, always giving me beverages.”

 jungkook put the toilet seat down for you to sit on and handed you the water bottle. earlier, you didn’t get a chance to even notice his attire. he was wearing just plain blue jeans and a white tank top with a flannel around his waist, maybe his hair styled slightly different.

 “koo, are you. .  .a plumber?”

 he let out a bark of laughter at that. “no, stupid.” jungkook points to his hair slicked with pomade and his discarded denim jacket on your shoulders. “a greaser, actually. i put all my effort into mario and got lazy today.”

 “same.” you shrugged and pointed to your forgotten bunny ears. 

 jungkook let out a fake yawn. “booooring. recycling your friend’s costume. super lame, y/n,” he teased and you smacked his arm for it.

 “you’re literally just wearing denim, don’t talk to me about being boring,” you shot back.

 jungkook had obviously just found random clothes in his closet and put hair product in, calling it a day. you figured that the invite was also last minute for him. 

 “are you a john travolta greaser or a matt dillon one?”

 “obviously matt dillon. he’s way cooler, “ jungkook scoffed. “but, i got summer nights on my playlist and i promise you, i’ll never skip that shit. best song ever.”

 the two of you fell into your usual banter for the next few minutes, conversation easy as ever. jungkook poked a little bit of fun at you for what happened downstairs, which you accepted with a huff. 

 “halloweekend is not for the weak,” he chuckled, leaning against the counter. 

 his bare arms made for a clear view of his tattoos, which were rapidly increasing since the start of the school year alone. you tried not to stare, instead pretending to find the marble tiles of the bathroom fascinating.

 you looked at his denim jacket around your shoulders and cursed aloud. “oh fuck. i’m sorry, jungkook, there’s a bit of jungle juice on it - “

 “it’s fine, really,” jungkook interrupted without hesitation. “there was no way i was gonna leave you down there like that.”

 the realization that jungkook also saw your soaked shirt was a bit sobering and it also made you remember that the two of you were sitting in a random bathroom. the pause also seemed to help jungkook in remembering as well and he pushed off the counter. 

 jungkook untied the flannel around his waist and held it out to you. “here, get dressed. i’m sure you don’t want to walk around with red 40 all over your body,” he chuckled.

 you blinked, not expecting the gesture. “oh. shit - thank you, jungkook,” you said, genuinely grateful.

 he grinned. “and drink that water. don’t worry, i’ll be at your service all night to give you more beverages, milady.”

 “whatever.” you playfully rolled your eyes, but couldn’t stop the matching grin forming at the corner of your lips.

 “want me to wait for you?” jungkook asked and you shook your head, as he’d already done more than enough. “okay. i’ll be downstairs where the others are.”

 the end of halloweekend was certainly not as fun as the beginning, but you left that party smelling of jungkook’s cologne. even after you returned to your friends, jungkook waved you off when you tried handing his jacket back to him and said to keep it if you got cold. the rest of the night wasn’t as eventful, thankfully, and you nearly forgot about what you saw earlier. 

 it did help that you never heard about eunbi ever again, so you figured it was just some sort of drunken makeout session. you and jungkook continued to operate as normal, but for the time being, you didn’t allow yourself to get your hopes again. this was college and people just did that sort of thing, the “casual” thing. you accepted it and even began to indulge in it yourself as the year went on. 

 all in all, you decided you didn’t need a relationship right now either, between school and transitioning into this new life. jungkook was your friend for now and soon, would become your best friend. of course, that’s where it always gets complicated.

⇢ 𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐬: @fancypeacepersona @petiteparler @lanie97 @httpjeonlicious @bleumornings @rpwprpwprpwprw @kikiflwr @kissyfacekoo @knivesdoingcartwheels @joyjunk @jksusawife @haru-jiminn @fancypeacepersona @softhaes @whoa-jo @kooloveys @mar-lo-pap @seokjinthescientist (reply to be tagged and if i forgot to tag you!)

[queen-of-deans-booty]

Across Every Universe

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Female!Reader

Word Count: ~2.1k

Warnings: fluff

Request by anon: Hey Jordan, can i request something where Dean Winchester always have a crush on the reader but never said something to her until one day Sam and Dean are transported (based on the episode French Mistake) and Dean actor Jensen and is married to the reader of the universe and she pass the whole day giving Dean hug and kisses because for everyone is Jensen. When Dean and Sam came back to their universe him and the reader start dating? Fluff 

Summary: Sam and Dean are taken back to the same place where Dean is known as Jensen Ackles and Sam as Jared Padalecki. This little trip makes Dean realize his feelings for you.

Square Filled: "god, if only you knew what you did to me" (2023) for @spnaubingo

Author’s Note: any and all comments are appreciated <3

x

No matter the position you’re in, you’re not comfortable. It doesn’t matter if you lie down on your side, your back, or your stomach. Not to mention the heater isn’t working in the Bunker so it’s very cold. You have three blankets over you while wearing long sleeves and pajama pants. The broken heater doesn’t help your running cold either. You’re not sure where you caught it from but you’ve been trying to stay away from the brothers to not get them sick.

That doesn’t keep Dean away, though.

He’s a complete sweetheart to you since he always brings you soup, makes sure you’re comfortable, and spends time with you even if you tell him not to go near you. You don’t know what you’d do without Dean in your life.

Speaking of, he knocks on your door and enters wearing his usual hunting attire.

“Going on a hunt?” you ask and sit up slightly.

“Yeah. I wish I could stay here and take care of you.”

“Other people need you,” you smile. “I’ll be fine. I’m going to stay in bed, watch movies, and make some soup later. Did you fix the heater, yet?”

“I have someone coming in a few days. He’s also on a hunt.”

“Right, no non-hunters here,” you chuckle.

“I’ll call you later and check up on you, okay?”

“My hero.”

You cuddle with your blankets more and Dean leaves your room with a slight blush on his cheeks. Before he closes the door, he looks back at you in thought. God, if only you knew what you did to me.

He closes your door and meets his brother in the library. As soon as they are packed and ready to go, they start the long drive to the next state over. When Dean gets onto the highway, Sam turns to Dean with a knowing smile.

“So, did you tell her how you feel?”

“Stay out of it, Sammy,” Dean rolls his eyes.

“How long have you had a thing for her? Years? When are you going to tell her how you feel?”

“I mean it, Sam. Stay out of it. I can handle it on my own.”

“Apparently not, or else she’d be yours.”

Dean punches his brother not gently in the arm and Sam laughs. Dean kept the music high so he could avoid talking about his feelings for you. They get to the town that has its residents sacrificing themselves in the name of God. If anything, it warrants some kind of visit from the Winchesters.

The town looks like a normal town with normal people just trying to live their normal lives. They have no suspicions that something is happening but they only just arrived. They get there late at night so they will have to do their work tomorrow morning. Dean takes out his phone when his brother goes into the bathroom to shower and calls you.

“Hey, how are you feeling?”

“I’m doing alright but not any better.”

“Did you take your medicine?”

“Yes, I did.” He can hear the smile in your voice and that makes him smile. “And I ate my soup and drank water.”

“Don’t forget to tell her goodnight,” Sam says loudly from the bathroom.

Dean grabs a pillow and chucks it at his brother. “Go take a shower. You stink.”

“Goodnight, Dean,” you chuckle, having heard Sam.

“Night sweetheart.” He hangs up and turns to his brother with a scowl. “I hate you.”

Sam and Dean actually get more than four hours of sleep that night but when Dean wakes up, he doesn’t recognize his surroundings. The motel is gone, the shutty beds and blankets are gone, and the peeling wallpaper is gone. What replaces it is a nice trailer, a comfortable bed, a big aquarium, and other nice shit that Dean has never had.

“Sammy?” he calls out. He gets up and leaves the small trailer only to run into Sam. “What the hell is going on? Where are we?”

“I don’t know.” Sam looks around and spots a name on the side of the trailer that’s behind Dean. “Oh, no. Look.”

Dean turns and sees the name ‘Jensen Ackles’ on the side. He turns back around and sees ‘Jared Padalecki’ on the trailer opposite his.

“You’ve got to be kidding me? We’re back in actor land? What happened last time?”

“Gabriel sent us here to avoid Raphael and his minions. I have no idea how we ended up here.”

“I bet it has something to do with the fact that people were sacrificing themselves in the name of God. My guess is that angels are involved.”

“There you two are.” Sam and Dean turn to see Castiel--Misha--walking toward them. “They’re looking for you two.”

“Yeah, we’re coming.”

If Sam and Dean didn’t do a good job trying to act last time, then they certainly aren’t going to do a good job now. It’s funny in hindsight but it makes for a very long day of filming. After the twentieth time messing up, Dean is ready to get the hell out of there to figure out how to get back to his world.

He looks to the right and sees you at the snack bar. He immediately calls for a time-out and leaves the set.

“Time out?” the director frowns and looks at him. “Everyone, take ten!”

“Y/N?”

“Come here, you have to try this. Gen made it,” you grin at Dean. You take a scoopful of food and present it to him. He opens his mouth and accepts the food, pleasantly surprised by the taste. “Oh, you have something on your mouth.” You wipe his bottom lip with your thumb and lick the food off. Dean is so confused about your behavior but doesn’t have time to figure it out. Your phone rings and you check who is messaging you. “I gotta go. Gen is here.”

You lean up and kiss him quickly before walking off. Dean can’t move after that quick kiss. You did it so casually like you’ve done it a thousand times. He is forced to go back to acting but he can’t do a good job because all he’s thinking about is your lips on his.

They aren’t getting enough filming done so the director calls it for the rest of the day. Sam and Dean convene outside to make it look like they’re busy so no one else talks to them.

“She kissed me, dude.”

“What?”

“Y/N or the woman who she’s supposed to be. She kissed me like we’re together or something.”

“Look, I’m glad you’re going through the five stages of teenage excitement but can we focus here? How are we going to get out of here?”

Dean looks around and spots you entering his trailer.

“Eh, you’ll figure it out. I’ll be back.”

Dean leaves to his trailer and Sam rolls his eyes in annoyance.

“Dean!” he hisses but receives no answer.

Dean enters his counterpart’s trailer and sees you where the bed is. You’re grabbing some night clothes out of the drawers since you’re not going to be leaving the trailer for the rest of the night.

“Hey, I talked to Gen about the cabin and she got it all set up for us this weekend. I’m so excited to spend some time away from all this for two days.”

“Are we dating?” The comment makes you laugh. “What?”

“Are you okay?” He looks kind of nervous so you walk over to him and wrap your arms around his neck. “I don’t know what’s going on with you but I do know how to make you feel better.”

“How?” he whispers.

You run your hands down his chest and take his hands. You take him to the bed and toss your night clothes onto a nearby chair. You fall onto the bed while pulling him so he lands on top of you but he stops himself with his hands so he doesn’t completely crush you.

You pull him down to kiss you and that’s enough to bring Dean into the delusion that you’re Y/N and you’re his. Your lips are softer than what he thought and your body fits so perfectly against his. He slips his tongue into your mouth to get familiar with you. You tug on his hair to get some traction so he pulls away from your mouth and kisses down your neck.

Your neck has always been a sensitive spot for you and he really knows how to work you up. He licks up and down your neck before latching onto the side of it. You gasp, tilt your head back, and moan something that brings Dean back down to reality.

“Jensen.” You’re not his. You’re not you. You’re Jensen’s. You’re not supposed to be with him. He pulls away and pants above you. “What’s wrong?”

“Can we just lay here instead?”

“Yeah, of course. Let me get changed.”

You slip out from underneath him and grab the pajamas you set aside earlier. You strip down naked and Dean has a hard time not looking at you. He can’t help but think you’re a complete stranger. The pajamas you’re wearing are revealing but he feels better at looking at you with clothes on. You climb into bed with him and cuddle into his side, and he tucks a strand of your hair behind your head.

“How did I get so lucky?”

“I’m the lucky one.”

“Tell me the story of how we met.” You look at him in confusion. “I want to hear it from you.”

“Okay, I got tickets to a red carpet event that my ex-friend invited me to. We were going to see the movie My Bloody Valentine because we thought it was going to be the next big movie. The entire cast was there, including you, meeting fans and taking pictures with them. When we locked eyes, it was like something was pulling you to me.

“You came over to me, complimented me on my dress, signed my poster with your number on it which I still have, and the rest is history. I never got together with you because you were a big celebrity. You were genuine, kind, funny, charming, and very sexy. It was hard not to fall in love with you.”

Dean notices the big ring on your finger and puts the pieces together.

“We’re married?”

“Yes, we are,” you laugh. “Are you okay?”

“I’m just… really happy.”

You lean over and kiss him. The next morning, Dean leaves his trailer before you get up. He doesn’t want to wake you even though he wants to. He finds Sam outside his own trailer with a book in his hands.

“Hey,” Dean sighs.

“I might have found a way out of here, no thanks to you.”

“What if we didn’t leave?”

“Are you kidding me?”

“The love of my life is my wife here.”

“That’s not your wife, Dean. She’s Jensen’s wife. She thinks you’re him. Why would you take that away from him? You have a girl waiting for you at home, a girl with whom you’re too scared to do anything about. Don’t take her away from him because you want what they have.”

Dean knows he’s right. He can’t stay here. He’s using this world as an escape from his own.

“Yeah, you’re right,” Dean sighs. “What do you have?”

“I found this book in the prop section. This might be a TV show but it does have some useful books to make it look real. There’s a ritual we can do.”

And a ritual it is. Once they get the stuff needed and perform it, they are brought back to the town they arrived in a couple of days ago. In order to properly tackle this town, they’re going to need some angelic help. Maybe Castiel can meet them back at the Bunker and figure something out then.

The first thing Dean does when he gets home is go looking for you. You’re still stuck in bed watching your favorite movies on Disney+. You pause your movie when your bedroom door opens.

“Hey, how was the hunt?” Dean doesn’t say anything as he kicks off his shoes. He climbs into bed with you and pulls you close to him. “Dean?”

“I love you,” he blurts. “I should have told you this years ago but I can’t seem to think straight when I’m with you. You make everything better for me, and you’re a better hunter than I ever was. God, I love you so much.”

“I’d kiss you but I don’t want to get you sick,” you smile.

“I don’t care,” he whispers and kisses you.

This is where he belongs. Right next to you.

x

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[self-made-purgatories]

The Betrayal of Irritation: Part 1 of my thoughts on Star Trek TMP. The "Spirk divorce arc" in Star Trek TMP is not new, or unexpected, or a surprise. It starts in TOS, with Requiem for Methuselah. A theory. Long post again!

I just finished watching the Original Series, followed by The Motion Picture, and holy fuck the two are SO interconnected. But the timing makes it really confusing.

There was about a ten-year-gap in real life between the end of TOS and the start of TMP. And yet, the wounds of failed Spirk appear to still be completely unhealed at the start of the movie. 

The movie itself denotes at least a two-and-a-half year gap since Kirk was last aboard the Enterprise. (Kirk tells Scotty, "two and a half years as Chief of Starfleet Operations may have made me stale, but I wouldn't exactly consider myself untried." Decker reiterates this time period by saying Kirk hasn't logged a single star hour in two and a half years.) It could have been more time since Kirk and Spock last saw each other, but it's unclear.

There is a lot of discussion akin to "Why are the characters acting so weird in Season 3?" as well as "What the hell happened between the series and the movie that made Spock run off to kolinahr like that?" I actually think that there is no missing information; rather, these two questions are connected. In fact, both questions have the same answer. Here is my theory: 

1

In my opinion, Season One of TOS doesn't start at the very beginning of the five-year mission.

Season One does not start with everyone boarding the ship for the first time and meeting their roommates. The relationships between the characters are already far too well developed to be brand new. Think of the fact that by episode 2 (Charlie X) Kirk is already saying, "I need him" of Spock.

By episode 4 (The Naked Time) Spock is offering to Kirk a thinly veiled confession of love tainted by repression and internalized homophobia ("Jim, when I feel friendship for you, I'm ashamed"), during which they slap each other repeatedly (keeping in mind that physical fighting is a stand-in for sexual intimacy in this show. My personal theory is that their serious relationship starts around Amok Time, but there is definitely something already happening there).

By episode 7 (What Are Little Girls Made Of?), Spock trusts and knows Kirk intimately enough to identify a well-disguised Kirk imposter in just two key words ("half-breed interference"); two hurtful words that he not only understands as not Kirk, but actually somehow a secret message from the real Kirk.

These are not newly acquainted coworkers. I posit that the three years of TOS are not an exact one-to-one correlation to the first three years of the five year mission. My theory is that the two years that are missing are actually towards the beginning, not at the end.

(Disclaimer: I have not yet seen TAS, which, from what I understand, is meant to fill the gap of the last two years of the mission, but since it is considered "questionable canon" I will disregard it for now, for the sake of argument.)

2

I have written extensively about how, in season 3, Kirk and Spock suffer irreparable damage to their serious relationship in Requiem for Methuselah, and then continue to fight about it for several episodes. Then Spock lives an allegorical journey to hell and back in All Our Yesterdays, showing the extensive inner turmoil that he is still going through. By Turnabout Intruder, the last episode of the series, the two have broken up and it's affecting their interactions.

So my theory is this: the end of TOS is actually quite close to the end of the five-year mission, the Requiem for Methuselah wounds are still fresh in Spock's mind, the All Our Yesterdays turmoil is still very real, and Kirk and Spock have quite recently gone through a very painful breakup.

(Even if I'm wrong about this part. You can imagine two more years of that painful Turnabout-Intruder-level intimacy, where they undeniably know each other like the other half of themselves, and yet there is no joy in that connection and no way to bridge the rift between them. It would be enough to make anyone want to run away.)

Doesn't it just make sense that after the season 3 spirk fight arc, Spock would be ready to put some distance between himself and Kirk?

3

Can we also talk about what Spock was doing on the five-year mission in the first place? A half-Vulcan, raised on Vulcan, who feels he has something to prove as a Vulcan, and is trying desperately to repress his human side, elects to spend five full years in the unceasing and exclusive company of humans. Why? 

What if Spock felt unfulfilled in that life as a Vulcan? What if he wanted to try out his human side? What if Spock meant for the five-year-mission to be a sort of rumspringa from Vulcan mores, during which he could try out this other world like a piece of clothing, to see how it fit?  

But in the end, those five years of connection, of love, and then loss, only led to heartache and overwhelm. But, while Spock never confesses to heartache and overwhelm, what he does confess to? Irritation. 

Think back to the start of the series. In Where No Man Has Gone Before, when Spock is trying so hard to repress his human half that he still refers to his mixed parentage as "one of my ancestors married a human female," Kirk tells him that he plays a very irritating game of chess. Spock coyly answers, "Irritating? Ah, yes. One of your Earth emotions."

And then, in Space Seed, we have this exchange, where Kirk is being so absolutely gentle and patient and loving with Spock that it makes me want to cry:

Both of these "Irritation? Never met her" exchanges are in Season 1. 

But look how much things have changed by season 3: This is what he has learned in his time among humans.

From Day of the Dove: 

Irritation is, actually, the perfect emotion for Spock to finally allow himself to express. It has almost a medical bent to it, as in the sort of irritant that causes a skin reaction. He's been expressing irritation all along with that telltale eyebrow, of course, but allowing himself to say the word out loud is a big step. 

Then, upon being called "you pointed-eared Vulcan" by Bones in All Our Yesterdays:

His descent into the allegorical hell and the barbarism of his ancestors brings out this outburst of emotion against Bones, the only other bright spot (besides Jim) in this human world. It is a step beyond irritation, to "I don't like that. I don't think I ever did, and now I'm sure." But it shows that this particular irritation has been brewing for a long time, repressed under layers of Vulcan control.

And finally, this, from Plato's Stepchildren. Not irritation, but relevant:

Ouch. 

Spock always felt out of place in his Vulcan world. And he feels even more out of place in the very human world of the Enterprise. But Kirk is the one thing that makes that life worthwhile. The one safe harbor, the only safe person in the whole world of both humans and Vulcans. Spock is never at home anywhere, but he is at home with Kirk. But then it turns out that the safe harbor is perhaps the most dangerous place of all. He risks everything to allow himself to love, but then he has his heart completely broken by Kirk. This human world was already perhaps not a great fit to begin with, but now it's painfully, excruciatingly obvious that he is not at home here either. 

Remember, also, what one of the spectators said of Spock during his emotional torture in Plato's Stepchildren: "Cupid's arrow kills Vulcans." WHAT.

4

So of course Spock's response to this failed five-year experiment is to say, "Okay, this did not work out. I tried it on, but this living-with-humans garment did not fit me. Fuck this shit, this being-around-emotional-humans shit, this pain-from-other-people's-emotions shit, and FUCK THIS ONE MAN'S BULLSHIT IN PARTICULAR, I am now off to join the Vulcan priesthood. Not only must my life's answer be on Vulcan, it is the most Vulcan version of Vulcan I can think of. I will give up all of my connections, all of my emotions, everything that makes me me so that I can finally become the ultimate Vulcan. Maybe if I get rid of my emotions altogether, it will also get rid of this pain."

And that is how he ends up here at the start of the movie.

But of course. It doesn't work.

He is running away from life, away from love, away from Kirk, rather than running towards enlightenment.

It was never going to work. 

And when he suddenly senses that Kirk needs him, his instinctual reaction is to refuse to complete the kolinahr. He is not rejected from it (at least that's not how it starts), as so many people say. He rejects it himself by raising his hand to stop the priestess. She simply agrees with him that he has work to do elsewhere.

What does he feel, though? It is hard to say. It looks more like confusion or disappointment than love or longing. But might it even be... Irritation?

5

"Okay, fine," he says to himself. "If I must, I must. I will go and save that man's sorry ass one more time. I will go get a nice haircut. I will go put on my makeup and an ABSOLUTE BANGER of a little black revenge dress. I will glide onto that bridge like I own the fucking place. I will make that man cum in his pants as soon as he sees me. And I will not even deign look at him." And so he does.

Irritation does seem to be his main outward emotional state when he makes his first appearance back on the Enterprise. He is trying so hard to project himself as an emotionless brick wall, but he is actually radiating irritation in every direction. He greets Chekov with thinly veiled irritation, doesn't even let him finish his sentence:

And then he does what he came to do; he glides onto the bridge like he owns the fucking place. He looks so damn good and Kirk notices, his whole body snapping to attention. Spock looks all around the bridge, but not at Kirk standing right in front of him.

But, of course, he can't not look at him. He makes it a full eight seconds before he finally lowers his gaze and stares straight into Kirk's very soul without saying a single word out loud.

He then busies himself around the science station, taking charge, getting to work, ignoring the pleasantries erupting from all the old friends and colleagues around him. Irritation, irritation, irritation. He cuts all the discussion short and plunges headlong into the science, completely ignoring the way that Kirk is practically on his knees in front of him. But he sees. Of course he sees.

And yet, this outward irritation is simply a betrayal of his inner feelings: the fact that he cares. If he didn't care, he wouldn't be irritated. If he didn't care, he wouldn't have come at all.

But now that he is here, now that he is back, anything is possible.

[comicaurora]

hi red!! just listened to the newest episode of the ospod and i have one question: did you and magenta enjoy sonic three??

TREMENDOUSLY

(spoilers below)

Maria playing a soft acoustic cover of Live And Learn on the guitar was Incredible

We both lost it when Sonic looked directly at the camera and quoted "talk about a low-budget flight!" word for word

Almost every Sonic vs Shadow scene in the trailer was from the very first action scene in the movie, which was absolutely the way to do it. They didn't spoil anything important AND they didn't drag out the opener.

That first action scene was KILLER. They hit every single beat they needed to establish exactly who Shadow was.

The pacing overall was fantastic. When Blue and I watched sonic 1 and 2, we concluded that sonic 2 had More Fun Stuff, but sonic 1 was far more tightly paced. I think sonic 3 got back to the pacing of sonic 1 - not an ounce of fat on there.

CHAO GARDEN TOURIST TRAP

Magenta called the movie cowards for not letting the GUN soldier actually shoot Maria

Extremely elegant way to take Tom and the ancillary humans out of commission and motivate Sonic to have his obligatory "I must go alone and Take Vengeance" darkest hour, BUT I really respected how they let Knuckles choose to back off and trust him, even if narratively we know Sonic is making the wrong choice. My boy Knux got a shockingly good showing this movie, considering all he really had to do was get worf'd to prove how badass Shadow is. They do some careful work making sure he still feels like a powerhouse even though he's outclassed by both super hedgehogs.

Making Shadow's motivation in this movie raw, fresh, suicidal grief was absolutely the right call, because that makes this whole Destroy The Earth thing the equivalent of an extremely understandable but short-lived temper tantrum caused by "from my POV my best friend died in my arms like YESTERDAY" and that means it feels like he could conceivably be talked out of with a little empathy and compassion, which is exactly what Sonic gives him, after the COOLEST FUCKING FIGHT SCENE I'VE EVER SEEN

This Sonic is cleanly growing from a good-hearted kid into exactly the kind of relentlessly compassionate paragon hero they're portraying him as in the IDW comics and it is Rad As Hell

And on the flip side, making Gerald's villain motivation slow and calculated and locked in over the course of fifty deliberate years was a very clever way to convince us that Shadow just needed kindness and a good example, but Gerald had made his choice and could absolutely not be redeemed.

"You're no Maria" is cold as ice and I'm still thinking about it days later

everyone's acting like Robotnik's dead but my man was wearing a nanotech suit that could turn into anything like if they want him back he'll be back

excited for Shadow to just Turn Up at some point in the future during a risky fight scene and for literally only Sonic to be happy to see him, As Their Dynamic Should Be

Magenta really likes Metal Sonic as a character so hopefully he's not just relegated to Interchangeable Army Of Minions status forever

A M Y

I predict that in Sonic 4 we will get Silver as the main first-half-of-the-movie misled villain and Shadow WILL reintroduce himself into the plot by kicking Silver in the back of the head and I WILL lose my mind

[ponderingmoonlight]

I'd love Obanai + Sanemi saving reader from a demon (like in the first episode??) You are awesome, thanks!

This escalated so quick damn, but hey, there you have a full on fic hehe - hope you enjoy <3

Sanemi saving your ass even if you don't want to

Pairing: Sanemi x fem!reader

Word Count: 1,9k

Synopsis: You knew what you got yourself into when you let a demon capture you instead of your beloved friend. Little did you know that help already arrived, viewing you as nothing but a damsel in distress until suddenly, you turn into much more...

Warnings: (y/n) fell but I fell harder, just saw the movie and it's so AHHH, honestly Sameni's voice is so mezmerizing omg, however this includes violence and language, might incluce spoilers for the movie but if you haven't seen it already you don't know what's going on anyway lol, like all my demon slayer fanfics this includes ai pics of reader so if this doesn't sit right with you, I'd suggest to not read it

PLEASE LET ME KNOW IF YOU NEED MORE SANEMI CONTENT

Your dirty cold feet pound against the muddy floor, haunted eyes darted towards nothing but sheer darkness. You still don’t know how you managed to keep the demon from kidnapping your best friend, how you’re still alive when at this very moment, this frightful creature his hunting you down like its prey.

So many innocent young women, one after another disappeared from your village nearby. Why did you never even think about the possibility that you or even worse, a person you love could be next?

Not until now. Not until you stared into the demon’s stone-cold red orbs when it began to run after you. Not until you were the one threatened to get eaten alive.

“Run! Run and don’t look back!”

“But (y/n), you’ll get killed-“

“I won’t. Leave it to me, tell everyone to lock their doors, just don’t come back!”, you screamed on top of your lungs.

“I’m getting impatient, stupid girl. You know you will get killed, right?”

Blood rushed through your ears, body threatened to fail you.

“If you want to kill me you have to get me first, stupid demon.”

How long have you been running for? Minutes, hours? You lost track of time completely with your body screaming, begging you to stop and take a break. The bitter taste of iron covers your whole mouth, blood sticks to your new Yukata like a second skin. Your mother will completely lose it when she sees the crimson discolouring on the white fabric.

“I’m having enough.”

If you ever see her again.

With a swift motion, the demon swings you over his shoulder, his claws digging into your flesh so roughly that you cry out. No, this can’t be the end. You can’t allow yourself to die like this: in the arms of a demon, without even fighting back. No one ever told you what to do, you were always able to stand up for yourself. Today will be no exception. Even if you get killed, you will fight back with everything you have.

“Shinazugawa…Something’s not right.”

Sanemi can’t help but look around, eyes meeting the countless demons around him. What the hell is this place?

“Yeah, I don’t like this, either. I’ve never seen demons swarming around like this.”

“Let me go!”, you yell, fist banging roughly against the creatures’ back while it drags you into what looks like a haunted mansion.

Your eyes widen when you feel multiple pairs of red orbs laying on your body.

“Demon slayers…”, you hear your kidnapper hiss through gritted teeth, turning his head over his shoulder.

Demon slayers? You’ve heard of them before, how they behead every demon coming their way, how desperately they fight for humanity. But…where were these demon slayers when all the girls from your village got kidnapped? Where are they when you need them the most? How absoluteley useless.

You don’t know what has gotten into you. Is it the anger, the grief? With a rapid motion, you dig your nails into the eyes of the demon until he lets you fall to the ground abruptly, groaning out in visible pain.

Everything hurts, a trail of blood follows you as you drag your body against a rotten wall. You feel your body giving in, all the stress, agony and exhaustion rushing over you like a wave. But no, you can’t give up right now. Not when there’s still a slight chance for you to survive.

“You little bitch. Eat her, I will leave and get her little friend.”

Suddenly, the urge to puke becomes almost unbearable. Countless demons come near you, their teeth exposed to the harsh moonlight. No, this is not how you want to end. You can’t die getting eaten alive by these creatures. But what else are you supposed to do? There is no way out of this living hell.

Except for the destroyed window a few steps away. This is your only chance. You drag yourself up, sprint over the rotten wood underneath your naked feet and jump.

Floors into the depths.

Away from the demons, into another certain death.

“Where is the girl?”, Sanemi questions harshly, sword oh so ready to behead that bastard of a demon in front of him while heading down.

Screw this strange place and the countless demons around him, he needs to find you, needs to carry you into safety.

“The girl? She jumped out of a window in order to safe herself. She’s probably dead by now.”

He lets out the breath he didn’t knew he was holding, blank eyes staring at the stone ground his blade has crashed instead of the demon. What was this place?

No, he can’t think about this right now. As fast as his body carries him, he gets out of that cursed mansion, eyes instantly finding your falling body.

Only metres away from crushing into the ground.

Oh, how much you wished it wouldn’t end like this. But maybe this was everything you could do, dying like this is still better than getting eaten up by a demon. Where are those demon slayers? You close your tired lids, enjoy the weightlessness for a brief second. It doesn’t matter now. Hopefully, the demon is long dead before you. At least you're dragging his ass with you…

“Hey, you aren’t dead, are ya?”

That voice…A male voice, without any doubt. So harsh and tempting at the same time that you can’t help but open your eyes in confusion.

Only to be met by purple ones. Male ones, to be exact. Are those...his arms wrapped around your trembling body?

“Let me go!”, you shriek.

It seems like all power that left your body appeared again while you miserably try to fight yourself out of his arms. Who is this man? Another demon, maybe?

“I won’t let you eat me!”

“Eating you? Are you dumb, woman? I’m a demon slayer”, the man in front of you barks, his hands roughly holding onto your arms in order to stop you from hitting him again.

“A demon slayer?” you repeat.

“Yeah, the wind hashira to be exact.”

Your gaze falls from his face to his exposed chest, his toned abs. He breathes heave while still holding onto your arms. Suddenly you feel so…hot.

“You are a demon slayer.”

With a swift motion, you free one of your hands and slap him so hard that he sees stars.

“It sure took you some time to get here! What about all the other women who died here, the countless young girls that were killed by demons you did nothing about? Why did you save me!?”

“I’m wondering that too”, Sanemi mutters under his breath.

Did you actually go inane? The way you look at him with your eyes completely furious, face and yukata smeared in your own blood. You can’t be serious about that, right?

“You should be thankful”, he finally hisses.

“Thankful!? YOU should be sorry!”

“Yeah, I’m sorry for saving you…you…you ungrateful thing!”

“I could have saved myself”, you argue.

“Oh, is that so?”

No, absolutely not. You would have died if it wasn’t for the wind hashira.

“Everything was under control”, you snap at him.

Nothing was under control. This was your last way out of your misery.

“Is it so hard to just be thankful?”, he argues.

“Who’s your new friend, Shinazugawa?”

“We aren’t friends”, both of you reply at once.

Your heavy breath hangs in the air, hands still clenched into fists. Deep down you know how wrong it is to snap at him, that the demon slayer corps aren’t responsible for the countless lives the demons took in this area. But still…Why does it have to be you they saved? Why not the girl next door who would have married the next day or the girl that was supposed to leave only days after she got killed? It’s not fair, it’s not enough, it’s-

You take a heavy step back when your vision starts to get foggy.

“I won’t catch that brat if she faints now”, the wind hashira grumbles.

“We both know you will.”

The last thing you see are his purple eyes before you fall straight into deep darkness.

-a few days later-

“She’s awake now, Shinazugawa. And she asked for you.”

He hates the way his heart skips a beat by hearing those innocent words from Shinobu. You didn’t leave his head. Despite the state of Oyakata-sama, despite the hashira training, despite the stinging fact that the king of demons himself will come for them, you were always on his mind. You, with your strong but feminine eyes. You, who jumped out of a window into certain death only to keep your body away from the mouths of these demons. You, who straight up slapped him. Was it your attitude that caught him off guard? He never experienced a woman saved by him being this ungrateful. Aren’t you aware of the fact that you would have died that night if it wasn’t for him?

“What do you want, brat?”

His words come out harsher than anticipated while your sight simply takes his breath away. Since he can remember, Sanemi was never interested in any women romantically. No, love is nothing but weakness, women mean nothing but trouble. But even though you glare at him with venomous eyes the second he enters the room, he can’t help but feel drawn towards you.  

“You’re a hashira, right?”

Your words sound just as harsh as his, your gaze meeting his with so much strength that it is him who starts to feel uncomfortable.

“Yeah, I already told you that-“

“Train me”, you interrupt him.

“I want to become a demon slayer and kick your ass.”

“You, kicking my ass?”

You grab the fabric of his uniform so roughly that he isn’t able to react, suddenly so close to you that he can feel the heat radiating from your body.

“Train me.”

“Fine brat. I’ll train you. But don’t think I’ll go easy on your ass.”

-bonus-

“Try to keep up, (y/n).”

His katana clashes into yours over and over, makes it hard to stand your ground. But still you fight back, your hands holding onto your sword so tightly that your knuckles stand out white. You just have to win. There is absolutely no way you’ll lose against your master again.

Especially since he’s your lover.

“Are you tired yet?”, he teases you with a smirk.

“Absolutely not”, you press out while dodging another hit just in time.

This won’t help. If you continue to fight like this, he’ll sweep you off your feet like all these countless times before. But what are you supposed to do? It almost seems as if Sanemi has no weakness.

Except you.

“But you’ll be when I’m done”, you purr.

That sudden change of mood catches him completely off guard, forces him to hesitate for the split of a second.

Enough for you to sweep him off his feet, your body resting on top of his while your blade hangs into his face.

“I won”, you announce triumphally.

“You cheated”, he protests underneath you.

“Demons play dirty as well. You need to be prepared for everything-“

All it takes his one swift motion for him to position himself on top of you, body forcing you onto the ground before you’re able to catch a breath.

“Imma show you how dirty playing really works, then.”

Tags: @chilichopsticks @hellkaiserinphoenix  @ynackerman9499 @keepghostly @beatrexworld @froufrousnowman @hidazinie @tomiokathedepresso  @poketrainer2270 @chaoticwinnercupcake @lees-chaotic-brain @wordskeeper @polarbvnny @kayleegomez @ryva @baku2345 @komelrebi-san

[polymc]

Poly!MC with the Ghouls Headcannons [pt. 1]

Author's Note: MC is dating all the ghouls, but everything is in sections. Also, what do you guys think of the new layout? :>

Pairings: Frostheim, Vagastrom, Jabberwock, Sinostra, Hotarubi, Obscuary, Mortkranken

TW: Characters might be a little ooc so I apologize for that, I also started writing this after I finished episode 7 so sorry if some things are wrong.

MC uses They/Them pronouns and is kept blank

✗ Minors/Ageless blogs DNI, Go away please. ✗

- Frostheim -

Going on dates with the frostheim guys is going to be a lot fun for everyone... except Kaito. The 3 rich boys always pick something that is very nice and fancy for their MC while Kaito is just stressing out over why a steak is $200. Luckily this isn't always the case thanks to you and Lucas. You always make sure to do something where everyone is enjoying the date.

Kaito and Luca are the ones around you the most during school hours. They are always so protective of you and don't take shit from anyone. Someone insulted you? Lucas will defend your honor. You feel lonely? Kaito is currently running towards your location.

Jin and Tohma though, they are both on another level. They act and treat you mostly the same as they always did but if you look closer, you'll see small things that they'll do for you. For example, You just returned from giving papers to the chancellor and there they are, sitting at a table with your favorite snacks and tea/drink you like.

- Vagastrom -

Date planning is mostly picked out by either Leo or Sho. Alan has attempted but poor sweet himbo has no idea what he's doing. Leo usually takes the lead on what to do but Sho picks out food spots. Alan just likes to tag along and enjoys seeing the three of you happy. If you all somehow get separated, please hope Alan isn't alone otherwise you all have to decipher his texts on where he's at.

Leo and Sho are menaces to society. They love teasing you separately but together? Different story. Leo of course loves flaunting online about you two dating(he already was but now it's true). Sho is a secret sweetheart. He loves when you stop by his food truck and even makes sure to save you your favorite drink when you order.

Poor Alan. I imagine that even in a relationship, he still berates himself and holds back because he's scared to hurt you in any way. It takes you, Leo, and Sho to get him to see that it's okay. Other than that, Alan looks scary but he cares a lot about you. Please hold his hand, he will turn into mush if you do-

- Jabberwock -

Dates are always different. Sometimes you're enjoying having a picnic and sometimes you're watch movies. Once it was too late to go out and do anything so you all(Mainly you and Haru)built a blanket fort. Ren picked out a few movies you all could watch

Towa koala clings to you or makes you wrap your arms and legs around him. Personal space? What's that?? Sometimes he'll drag Haru into the mix too. You can't even step foot into Jabberwock without getting tackled by him. Ren on the other hand likes his one on one time with you and shows his affection privately. He'll make small gestures like saving you a spot at the restaurant or showing you the best ways to level up a character.

Haru is a big sweetheart. He'll still ask for your help but on occasion, he'll zoom past you and give a quick smooch on the cheek. He secretly loves watching you be around Towa and Ren, It makes him feel very happy seeing you all interact. Be prepared to raise a round rabbit creature with him! Peekaboo is now your son and you must raise the round boi with Haru.

- Sinostra -

You're either getting the sugar baby experience at full effect or you're spoiling your 3 crazy men. These 3 are gonna spoil you rotten but sorry it's not for free, They always want something in return. I got you this necklace! Now you can't leave me for the next 24 hours. It may seem crazy but they're crazy about you so win win.

Ritsu will still record things during your dates. Sometimes to hold it against you(affectionately) but I can see him rewinding it a few times just to remember your favorite color. He is a gentleman through and through, even if he has strange ways of showing it. Romeo? Oh the amount of times you hate kissed that man is unbelievable. Romeo still acts the same as before but he still shows he cares in little signs. BB Isn't basic bitch anymore... It's beautiful bitch(I'm joking... Maybe).

Taiga... Is Taiga. Just like Romeo, He is still the same, nothing has really changed but he is a lot more forward and touchy. You're sitting and eating your lunch? Not anymore! Taiga literally grabs you and drags you away because he wants you on his lap while he gambles. He has no idea what personal space is and could careless. He'll sometimes drag Romeo as well into his plans.

- Hotarubi -

SWEET. DATES. I can not stress enough how relaxing and mundane their dates would be. If you ever need to destress, they are right there for you. If you're ever feeling stressed, head over to Hotarubi and they will pamper you. Going on walks around the dorm or just sitting eating snacks seems, they love it and spending time with you on top of that? Perfect.

Haku is as flirtatious as ever, that won't ever change except now he's more touchy. You'll be focused on writing and he'll just stare at you before playing with your hair or running a finger over your cheek. He'll just smile at you while you sit there confused. Zenji, the sweet romantic, has so many things planned for his dear. He will stop by your dorm once in awhile to make sure his dear partner is doing okay, of course he'll give you space when you ask too! Be prepared to be romanced by song

Subaru, oh sweet Subaru. He is so scared of you. He adores and loves you of course! But he is terrified to mess things up so please be ready to remind him at times you love him too. The first time he accidentally read your thoughts, he felt so bad that he kept his distance for a while. But when you told him it was okay and to listen again, he heard that you cared for him and all he could do was hug you tightly.

- Obscuary -

One word. Chaos. 2 of them know how dates are supposed to go and one doesn't even know what a date is. Besides that, it's quite the adventure when it comes to going out with the three of them. Rui is the expert here so most of the dates are planned by him. Most of the time it's Rui and Edward watching you and Lyca run around but they don't mind.

Rui is a simp for you. Period. Having someone who cares about him, curse and all, is all he could ever ask for. He's still flirty of course but only for you, he's your number 1 fan(He would say that). Lyca has no fucking clue on relationships but he doesn't care. He is so protective of you that he'll growl if anyone even looks at you funny. He tries to carry you places and he says it's because you're slow but really he likes holding you and having your smell close

Edward. Is. 100%. A threat. You are in trouble if you're left alone with him. He'll spew romantic words at you until you're red in the face and then ask to watch YouTube. Most of the time you ever go out, it's at night and never really far from the dorm. One time, he turned into a bat just to get some attention from you.

- Mortkranken -

These 2 have no idea what they're doing so you're going to have to be the one to suggest any sort of date and even when you do, you get a flustered Yuri and a confused Jiro. Yuri has even dragged Jiro to help him pick an outfit while Jiro is already ready to go. Dates remain mostly small and relaxing. A museum or an aquarium is the main spot for these 2, Be ready to get an earful of knowledge though.

At the times you are at mortkranken, you basically follow Yuri and Jiro around the whole time. If you get sidetracked or lost, Yuri panics where you could have gone. While he panics, Jiro has already texted you asking where you went. Jiro still loves scaring you but you'll get a kiss on the forehead afterwards at least, He loves teasing you. He holds your hand every chance he can get.

Yuri demands attention from you all the time. Be ready for the biggest tsundere ever because even when dating, this man will still act like he isn't looking at your stupid adorable face. You once wrapped your arms around him and he lectured you about it but when you tried to pull away, he tightened your arms around him and huffed.

- Everyone / Random -

Sho spends his lunch break with you and Subaru. Sometimes Leo and/or Lyca will join.

You working at Rui's bar causes the usuals to stay a bit longer than usual. They secretly enjoy seeing you run around behind the bar with your cute apron on.

Towa loves taking you around Jabberwock with Zenji. They both smother you with affection and try to make you swoon for them.

Kaito runs to you whenever Romeo is chasing him. He hopes that you can "presway" him into leaving him alone. Half the time it doesn't work, the other half it does but then Kaito is jealous and starts to follow you guys.

Hyde and Moby have a bet on your relationship. For example they once had a bet on Jin vs Alan on who can woo you silently better. That didn't last long because as soon as the ghouls found out they put a stop to it.

The first ever date they went on was chaos but they all had fun. You almost didn't leave because some were arguing about who sat next to you on the train. Leo, Towa, and Rui managed to sneak off with you without anyone noticing first.

Even though you're in a poly relationship, you make sure to give everyone one on one time because let's be honest these boys still get jelly/possessive.

Sleepovers at your place would be insane. It is utter chaos but imagine the potential for the best fort ever.

There was something called "The ghoul chase" where no one could find you and all the ghouls went crazy running around looking for you. You were just petting the cats though-