queen-of-deans-booty

[queen-of-deans-booty]

Thin Lizzie: Final Part

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Female!Reader

Word Count: ~1.4k

Warnings: canon angst and violence, extra angst, feeling broken and utterly helpless to the point of depression

Summary: What you think is a routine ghost case turns out to be much more. Amara is back and she is planning something but you're not sure what it is. You know one thing for sure: you might be in danger and are at risk of becoming the one thing you fear: the Scarlet Witch.

Season Eleven Masterlist

Author’s Note: For the sake of this rewrite, we're all going to pretend that the Lizzie Borden House is located in St. Louis.

x

You three leave Len in the car and approach Nate's house from the front. You knock twice but receive no answer, so you walk around the porch to see if there are any signs that someone is home. There is a car in the driveway so someone has to be home. You look through the window and see furniture toppled over like there was an attack.

"Something happened in here. Looks like an attack."

Sam points to the car in the driveway. "The blue car is the mom's. I saw it last night."

Dean takes out his lockpick kit to use on the locked door. You look away shamefully knowing you once had the power to unlock doors with just a thought. You do have the power but at what cost? What might you turn into if you use that magic again? Is it worth it? Suddenly, you understand why your mom wanted to give her magic up. Should I do the same? You're not sure how to do that but it might be your only option. No magic means no way of becoming her again.

Once inside the house, you and the brothers split up. You and Dean head down to the basement while Sam stays on the first floor. The basement is dark so you try the light switch by the door only it doesn't work. Since when is it ever that easy? Dean takes the lead and uses his flashlight to light the way and you follow closely behind.

The basement is dark and dingy like how a basement should be, but something pricks at the back of your neck. Something isn't right. The basement opens up to a much wider space that has a full kitchen and table as if someone lives down here. Everything is covered in a thin layer of dust so it hasn't been used in a while, but it's still creepy to see.

There is a small rollaway bed in the corner which wouldn't be cause for concern except for the pool of blood peeking out from underneath it. You nudge Dean and point to the blood, and he moves the bed out of the way to reveal Nate and Dawn, dead on the ground. They were axed to death.

"We gotta go," you whisper.

You and Dean turn to leave but someone hits you both over the head with something hard, and you fall to the ground as the darkness overcomes you.

When you wake up, you're tied to something hard. You wait for your vision to become clear and see that you're tied to one of the wooden posts in the basement. Sam is tied to a chair next to you and Dean is tied to another wooden post on the other side of Sam. The lights are on in the basement which means someone flipped the switch on the breaker to make it seem like the lights weren't working.

"Oh, thank God. I thought you were dead." The woman who hit you over the head stands and steps back a few feet with a shotgun in her hand. "Huh. I can't believe that I bagged all three of you."

"This is Sydney, the killer babysitter," Sam explains. "Not the mom. So, what's the story? Are you gonna hack us up like the others?"

"I'm past that. You three are an offering to my new friend."

Dean looks over at you and raises his eyebrows in silent question. You know what he's asking. He wants you to use your magic to set yourself free. You yank on the ropes with tears in your eyes, and you shake your head at Dean. I can't do it. Will I ever be able to?

"Let me guess. Is your new bestie Amara?" Dean asks.

"You know her?"

"Too well," you mutter.

"How'd you two meet?"

"A couple of nights ago I got pretty wasted. This smug, little trust fund dirtbag had just dumped me. I shouldn't have been drinking that much but I didn't care. Amara found me outside. After talking about how she was going to help me, she grabbed my hands and... I felt like I was Cloud 9, like ecstasy-orgasm-chocolate-cake level. I called her an angel which pissed her off, I guess. She grabbed my face and something white came out of me."

Great. Another victim of Amara's.

"Have you guys ever seen the iced tea commercial? Where the lady is lying along the inflatable raft and she's just drifting along a sparkling pool? That's what being with Amara was like. Bliss. No hurting. No sadness. No memories."

Pain. No happiness. No joy. No sense of who I am.

"So, you don't want memories?" Sam asks.

"Did you have nice parents, Sam? Because my folks treated me and my sister like human ashtrays." Sydney pulls up her shirt to show off the cigarette burns on her body. "I used to have to drink myself blind to even look at these, let alone show anybody. Now, I don't know what Amara did to me but it's just skin. No more waking up screaming from nightmares. No more flashbacks. Amara took away the pain. She lightened something in me."

"Except now you're an axe murderer," you glare.

"I'm free. Before there was always this constant voice in my head, 'You can't do that. It's wrong. What if you get caught?' Now it's quiet. It's just me and what I want. When you can do whatever you want, you don't have to get caught. then you can really fly."

Without a sense of direction, I was the most dangerous thing walking the planet. That little voice never told me to stop so I didn't. Amara didn't take my soul, Dean did. He found a way to put it back in. Sydney doesn't have that option.

"Were you flying when you diced up that couple at the inn?" Dean asks.

"When I'd found out that puss-hole was taking another girl to the B&B... That's his deal-closing move. I didn't have to sit at home and cry about it."

"What about the innkeeper's mom?"

"That piece of jerky," Sydney scoffs. "She screwed me out of two weeks pay. I used to fantasize about killing her and now I'm living the dream."

If you're going to be bad, be bad with a purpose. Otherwise, you're nothing. I had a purpose. Sydney doesn't and that's gonna get her killed.

"That's how you got in and out. You worked there."

"Just for one summer."

"What about Jordie's parents? Huh? What? Did they screw you over, too?"

Jordie must be the son of Dawn, the young boy that Sydney was babysitting.

"Not me. Jordie. Where to start?" she scoffs. "Meth-dealing dad. Slut mom. No, I saved Jordie! I'm going to take better care of him than they ever did."

"You said we were an offering. How do you plan on bringing Amara here? Don't tell me that girl's got a cell phone," you ask.

"I've been praying. I know she can hear me. I can feel it. She's close."

"She's not a God you can pray to. She is vile and manipulative. The only thing she ever did was take away the good things about you! You are nothing and all you'll ever be is nothing," you bite out.

Sydney glares at you and slams the butt of the shotgun into your head.

"She is a goddess!"

The rope on Sam's wrists breaks apart and he jumps out of his seat before Sydney has a chance to react. He runs over to a toolbox for a weapon of say kind, and Sydney blasts him with the shotgun. Sam ducks down right before he can be shot, and she goes to shoot him again when she suddenly stiffens up. She gasps and crumbles to the ground, revealing Len behind her with an axe in hand. He stabbed her, shoved the axe right into her back.

"Holy shit. I just did that," Len gasps.

Sam gets up and approaches Len who then turns the axe on him. Sam holds his hands up in defense and yanks the axe away before Len has a chance to use it on him. You don't think Len would have used the axe on Sam but the younger Winchester isn't taking any chances.

"The darkness is coming." You look at Sydney as she lay dying on the ground. "It's so peaceful. It's coming for all of us."

Amara is going to kill me. Sam unties his brother first before your husband goes to untie you. You're frozen stiff with fear knowing that Amara is out there and likely coming for you. Dean wraps an arm around your shoulder and helps you stand, and you're grateful for the support. Sam takes Jordie outside to talk to him while you and Dean take Len to the living room. Len holds up the hand that was in the handcuff and there is a piece of cloth wrapped around it. He doesn't have a thumb.

"First of all, I ripped my hand out of the cuff."

"You saved us, Len."

"That's not why I mauled myself. I wanted to see if I could do it. It hurt like a motherfucker, but it didn't wig me out. At all. I picked up my thumb like it was a mini-hot dog."

"I'm not gonna lie. That's worrisome."

"That poor girl... My brain said I should help you but I didn't really feel anything. For you three or her. What kind of person can murder and feel nothing?"

What kind of person can murder and feel nothing? Me. You look away just as two tears fall over your cheeks.

"Len. Whatever darkness you have inside you, if there is a shred of conscience, then there might be hope."

"No. Sam said once your soul is gone you can't get it back. I know for sure now if I'm not stopped there will be another kill. I can feel it. Like a bubble rising up."

I needed to keep killing. I needed to feed the Mark. It wouldn't let me stop.

"So, what do you want to do?"

"You could kill me."

There was a time before when I would have killed him without a second thought. Is that part of me still inside?

"No, I can't. I don't want to do that."

"Then there's only one thing else I can do. I'm gonna turn myself in. I'll confess to all the murders. That way I can't get out."

"Huh. Well, there's not too many soulless killers that would give themselves up," Dean says.

"I remember what it was like to do the right thing. So, I'm going through the motions for as long as I can."

As soon as Len turned himself in, you got the hell out of Dodge. Dean stopped to grab some food and parked by some harbor so that he and Sam could enjoy their meal, but you find sleep in the back seat.

"I still can't believe Len turned himself in," Dean says.

"I mean, it kinda makes sense. People have different reactions to losing their souls. I did. Y/N did. Everyone's got their own history, right?"

"Len loses his heart. Sydney loses her head. What are we? Looking for the cowardly lion next?"

"I get like this pit in my stomach any time I think of her. The Darkness. We only know the tip of what she is and what she does to people. Len was freaked out by her, but Sydney? Sydney couldn't get enough. The bliss she was talking about? What was it like for you? Did you feel like that with Amara?"

"No. It was quiet. You know, until she started hatching killers and rallying monsters to raise armies."

"That's how we find her. We follow the bodies." Sam looks back at you and sighs. "Is she going to be alright?"

"I don't know. She's afraid to use magic. She's afraid of becoming the Scarlet Witch again. I tried telling her that she'd have to lose her soul in order for that to happen, but with Amara sucking souls out, it might be possible again. I'd die before I let her become that... thing again. She was not human. I won't let her be that again."

"She won't. We won't let her."

Sam and Dean finish their meals and drive the rest of the way back to Lebanon. Molly manages to get four kids and their parents to attend the small party for Maryann at the local park. Mary is happy with whatever you give her, so she was ecstatic when she found out she'd be playing at the park all day with friends she made at preschool.

Molly set up a small table for presents near two trees and decorations litter the park even though she doesn't pay any attention to them. There isn't a lot of presents but Mary doesn't seem to mind. You wish you could do more for your kids but even getting out of bed proves to be the best you can do. Will I ever get better? You look down at your hands and see them glow softly with magic but you quickly look away in pain.

No matter how hard you try, you just can't seem to use it.

x

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[queen-of-deans-booty]

Thin Lizzie: Part Three

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Female!Reader

Word Count: ~1.4k

Warnings: canon angst and violence, extra angst, feeling broken and utterly helpless to the point of depression

Summary: What you think is a routine ghost case turns out to be much more. Amara is back and she is planning something but you're not sure what it is. You know one thing for sure: you might be in danger and are at risk of becoming the one thing you fear: the Scarlet Witch.

Season Eleven Masterlist

Author’s Note: For the sake of this rewrite, we're all going to pretend that the Lizzie Borden House is located in St. Louis.

x

Dean steps off to the side and calls his brother, leaving you alone to drown in your own thoughts. He will comfort you later but right now, Sam deserves to know what is going on here.

"Wait? Amara was here? How?" Sam asks when he hears what Dean has to say.

"I don't know but apparently, she's twelve."

"How is that even possible?"

"It ain't Wheaties she's eating, I can tell you that much," Dean scoffs.

"Meaning?"

"Len ain't doing so hot. I think Amara sucked out his soul. Y/N is freaking out because if she can suck out Len's soul, she can suck out Y/N's soul. All that fear of becoming the Scarlet Witch is back now."

"We should meet up. I'll head to Len's house. Someone's gotta tell him what's really going on."

"Yeah." Dean hangs up the phone and turns to Len. "Len, we're going to go outside and have a little chat. My partner is coming over here. Hang tight, okay?"

"Okay."

Dean takes you outside his house and waits there for Sam to come. Now that you're out of Len's earshot, you freak out to the max.

"She's gonna suck my soul out. What if that's what she needs from me? What if she doesn't want to possess me but wants my soul instead? She wants my magic and my magic is tied to my soul. God, I'm going to become like her, aren't I?" you cry.

"Y/N, calm down. You're not going to lose your soul."

"How do you know that? Please, Dean, do you know for one hundred percent certainty that she won't do that?" Dean doesn't have an answer for that. "See? What if I hurt our children?"

"Okay, listen to me." Dean grabs your shoulders and forces you to look at him. "You are not going to turn back into the Scarlet Witch. I won't let that happen. You gotta tell yourself that because you are my wife. I couldn't protect you from it then, but I can damn well do it now, okay?"

"Okay," you whisper.

"I need you to say it."

"I won't turn back into her."

"Say it like you mean it."

"I won't turn into her," you say with more confidence.

Dean pulls you in and kisses you. The kiss is short-lived when Sam approaches you two from the side.

"So, Amara's growing like a radioactive weed?" Sam asks when he gets to your side.

"Yeah, by stuffing her face with souls."

"Does that mean she's getting more power? For what?"

"I don't know. That tsunami's gonna hit us sooner or later. We'll deal with what we can deal with like all these spent shells Amara's leaving behind."

"You don't think Len's our Lizzie Borden, do you?"

"No, I don't think so. Except for seeing him at the B&B, he's been here all night. So, we can't kill him because he hasn't done anything yet."

"Dean, we don't want to kill him. We want to save people. Remember?"

Dean snaps his fingers and remembers their conversation from months prior.

"Right. The new rules. My question is why hasn't he offed anybody? I mean, it took Jenna all of walking downstairs to slit her grandmother's throat."

"I don't know. Maybe not everybody that gets their soul sucked out turns into a killer."

It'd be nice if I was one of those people.

"Or maybe he just hasn't got around to it yet." Sam shrugs in response. "I think the best thing is we stick close until we figure out how to help him out. Which starts with you telling him he's got no soul."

"Me?"

"Yeah."

"Why me?"

"Look at Y/N." You're almost in tears at the thought of Amara sucking your soul out. "She clearly can't do it and the only other person who has been soulless is you. You speak the language. He doesn't even know he's been hoovered yet."

"Okay, but you two have a better relationship with him than I do."

"You're better with the whole sensitive verbal message thing."

"There is no sensitive way to tell somebody their soul's been sucked out by a prehistoric tween! Even if Len does believe us, is that supposed to make him feel better?"

"Fine. He probably couldn't handle the truth right now anyway. He's a little fragile right now." Dean groans and rolls his neck to crack it. "Looks like we're babysitting a thirty-year-old man."

"There may be someone else Amara got to as well. The murders started right around the time Len saw Amara, right? Well, the wife of the last victim, Dawn Pensky, had this bizarre reaction to hearing her husband had died like she couldn't care less. It was kind of the way I felt the whole time I was soulless."

"Oh, yeah. You were one chilly droid."

You look down and try not to think how you'd rather be swallowed up by the Earth than be here. Anywhere Amara is, you don't want to be. You know what she's like. You had her inside your head for years. She tormented you and made you fear for your life and your children's lives. She is the reason you terminated your first pregnancy. She's not a good person.

"Anyways, the detective thinks she's in shock, but I think it may be that Mom lost her soul and picked up an axe."

Sam and Dean don't want Len going off the rails so they decide to bring him along when you go to question Dawn the next day, Len is coming with. You're stuck in the back seat with him while Dean is behind the wheel and Sam is knocking on Dawn's front door. No one answers the door and he looks back at the car where Dean puts his hands up as if he's impatient. Sam shakes his head and takes out his phone to call Dawn's babysitter.

"Hello?"

"Sydney, this is Agent Collins. I'm trying to find Mrs. Pensky. Do you have any idea where she might be?"

"Um, no. She, um, didn't mention anything. Dawn didn't want me to come over today."

"Sydney. You are a part of a Federal murder investigation. You do not want to hold anything back from us."

"Okay," she sighs. "There might be one place where she might be. Dawn has a friend, Nate. A special friend. Look, I'm not trying to get her in trouble."

"Do you have an address?"

She sends Sam the address who then gives it to Dean. The second you leave Dawn's driveway, Len starts babbling on about how he used to love so many things but doesn't care for them anymore. If he continues to talk, you're going to get a headache...

"Kitten videos, chicken and waffles, and eucalyptus scent. I don't care for it anymore. I used to swoon for dark, curly hair. Now, not so much. Do you think I had a stroke? Or maybe it's a brain tumor. What's really freaky is all the stuff that used to make my skin crawl now seems... eh."

Okay, maybe you're already here. Dean looks at his brother and mouths something to him but you're not able to understand it.

"I couldn't shake a guy's hand before. God, that wetness. Now, I could lick the sweat off a stranger's--"

You slam your hand on the back of the front seat and turn to Len with a glare.

"Shut the fuck up. Seriously. You're giving me a fucking headache."

Len frowns but does as he's told. He stays silent for all of two seconds before opening his big mouth.

"I'm serious. I feel weird, man."

You roll your eyes and get out of the car.

"Weird, how?" Sam asks.

"Like, something's hatching inside of me. Something dark... with wings." Sam and Dean look at each other knowingly and Len picks up on it. "What is it?

"Nothing."

"You looked at Sam like you guys know what's wrong with me!" Dean gets out of the car and Len slides to the end of the seat to look out the open window. Dean whips out a pair of handcuffs and locks it on his wrist. He clips the other side to the handle of the back door from the outside so Len can't go anywhere. "Hey!"

"You don't have a soul, alright? Amara sucked it out," Dean blurts.

"What?!"

"Dean!" Both brothers look at each other over the top of the car. "You wanna be a little more blunt?"

"How is that even possible?" Len asks.

"Look, the handcuffs are just so you don't get in trouble. We'll be back and then we'll figure out what to do with you."

"How do I get my soul back?"

"You don't."

Len opens his mouth to respond but nothing comes out. He leans back in his seat with a slight sigh.

"It feels good to finally know."

x

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[queen-of-deans-booty]

Thin Lizzie: Part Two

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Female!Reader

Word Count: ~2.4k

Warnings: canon angst and violence, extra angst, feeling broken and utterly helpless to the point of depression

Summary: What you think is a routine ghost case turns out to be much more. Amara is back and she is planning something but you're not sure what it is. You know one thing for sure: you might be in danger and are at risk of becoming the one thing you fear: the Scarlet Witch.

Season Eleven Masterlist

Author’s Note: For the sake of this rewrite, we're all going to pretend that the Lizzie Borden House is located in St. Louis.

x

Sam and Dean take the bags to a room that is unlike anything you've ever seen. Flowers. Flowers... everywhere. The wallpaper, the bed sheets and blanket, the carpet, and even the upholstery of the chairs. It's like someone's grandma was the interior decorator.

"I don't know where to put my eyes. I think I'm gonna throw up," Dean says. "We're surrounded by doilies. They're everywhere. You'd think the innkeeper might have mentioned this before he ripped us off."

"I guess you're gonna have to get yourself another room because this was Lizzie's original room and I'm not giving it up."

"What are you, four?"

Sam grabs his EMF reader and turns it on. Noise comes from the small box and it lights up like crazy. Dean walks into the bathroom to check it out while you stay by the door, unsure of how to help. I feel useless. Why am I even here? You hate thinking these thoughts and wish they'd stop, but you don't know how to get better. You don't know where to start.

"Look at that. That jives with what people online have been saying about the upstairs--crying in empty rooms, footsteps, and buzzing lights." Sam walks into the closet and the EMf reader immediately stops. "No secret panels or passageways in the closet."

Dean walks out of the bathroom. "The world's smallest bathroom is clean." Dean scrunches his nose in disgust. "What is that smell?"

"I think it's this." Sam holds up an old-timey perfume bottle with a squeeze pump. "It's like lavender toilet water."

"Bottled toilet water?" Sam squeezes the pump several times and Dean looks at him like he's crazy. "Why do you keep spraying it?"

"I just wanted to see of the squeezy thing worked." You can't help the snicker that escapes your mouth. You look away but Dean sees the smile on your face. It's been a long time since he's seen that smile of yours and it's beautiful. "I think it was supposed to be a perfume or something."

"I think Y/N and I are gonna go check downstairs because now I've got grandma all over me. Come on, sweetheart."

Just like that, the moment has passed. You leave the room and follow Dean back downstairs where the Lizzie Borden memorabilia are.

"It's been a while since I've seen that smile of yours."

"Yeah," you sigh.

"So, now that I have a moment alone with you, and after some time thinking about it, I wanted to talk to you about that were-pyre case we had last month."

"What about it?"

Dean stops right in front of you and tucks a strand behind your hair.

"Sweetheart, you were shot. You nearly died. You have magic that can heal you and you didn't use it. You haven't used magic since you got your soul back."

"I don't know how to anymore," you whisper. "I'm afraid of turning back into her if I do."

"That will only happen if you lose your soul, and that's not going to happen."

"Something in me is broken, and I don't know how to fix it."

Suddenly, the lights start flickering on and off, interrupting the very touching moment. Dean rolls a chair over to the chandelier that is flickering so he can check if the bulbs are loose. He taps the side of the lamp when a flash of white pops up. You walk over to the window to see where the source of the light is coming from when it happens again. There is a man with an old-looking camera that is used by draping a cloth over the person's head so they can take the picture that way. You knock on the window which startles the man.

"Hey!" The man grabs his camera and runs off clumsily without another word. You roll your eyes and look at Dean who shrugs. "I don't think this place is haunted."

"Me either."

Dean returns the chair to where he found it before you two head back to the room. He rummages through the drawers as if he's looking for something and even moves the dresser back to peer behind it. He laughs and reaches down to grab something back there. He holds up a machine that looks like a remote of some sort. He presses a button and the lights inside the room start to flicker. He sets the box down and starts taking the room apart piece by piece. There is a picture of Lizzie on the wall that when removed shows a gaping hole where a speaker is. He reaches in and pulls out a recording device--on it are sounds of crying women and other noises.

"What fucking frauds," Dean scoffs.

Just then, Sam walks into the room.

"No Lizzie in the attic, but I did find a homemade EMF generator. I turned that beast off and what do you know? No more signal."

"Shocker." Dean holds up the remote for the lights. "The flickering lights are just wired to timers either buried in the wall or behind dressers." He walks to the hole in the wall and points to it. "Pictures are covering up our very own sound system. I fished this out of the wall."

He plays the recording of the crying woman.

"Crying in empty rooms," Sam scoffs.

"There's more like running footsteps and creepy whispers you can't make out. The whole place is a hoax, man. It's a tourist trap just like I said."

"Yeah, but we still don't know how the couple got axed. I mean, how did the killer get in and out?"

"I don't know. Why don't we Sherlock that over a beer or something and a lobster roll. I got to get out of this doily coffin."

You three don't get to enjoy your meal for very long because shortly after you leave, Mason's mother is killed. The police are already on the scene when you arrive back at the inn, and they let you in when they see your badges.

"Detective Madsen? Agent Collins."

"You weren't Feds earlier!" Mason exclaims.

"My partners and I were undercover investigating the original murders."

"Where the hell were you when my mom was being... Oh," Mason cries.

"I'm so very sorry, Mr. Kemper."

"We're gonna find the son of bitch who is doing this," the detective says. You look at Dean who is off to the side using his EMF reader but it's not going off. Whatever or whoever did this wasn't a ghost. "He had just finished locking up. No one was inside but him and Mrs. Kemper. The staff went home hours ago."

"You don't have any suspects for the first murders?"

The Detective shakes his head just as Dean appears. 

"Listen, I saw a guy hanging around earlier snapping some photos, and he ran away when I tried to make contact," you say.

"Let me guess. Short. Chunky. Baby faced?"

"Yeah."

"Yeah, that's Len. Total teddy bear. I went to high school with him. He's obsessed with ghosts but harmless."

"Ghosts? Is that a real issue around here?"

"According to the Chamber of Commerce, absolutely. I'll send an officer to Len and get a statement from him."

"You know what? You got your hands full. We'll drop by."

"Okay, thanks."

You three leave and get into the car after getting the address from the detective. Dean pulls onto the road and starts the short drive to Len's house.

"So far we got squat that says ghost or anything remotely us."

"Maybe it's not our usual kind of gig. Maybe we're dealing with a serial killer?"

"You'd love that, wouldn't you?"

Sam rolls his eyes and his phone rings.

"Agent Collins," he answers.

"This is Detective Madsen. There's been another victim."

"Another victim? Really?"

"It was an accident in the next county. I'm there now."

"Thanks for letting us know." He hangs up and looks at his brother. "There's another axe victim. This one is miles from the B&B."

"Lizzie left home."

"Apparently. I'll take the crime scene. You two take Len."

Dean does a one-eighty and heads to the newest crime scene to drop Sam off. You take his spot in the front seat and Dean drives over to Len's house.

"Okay, what do you mean you're broken?" Dean asks, remembering your last conversation before you were interrupted. "You're not broken."

"I don't know, Dean." You sigh. "I feel like how I felt when I first discovered magic. I want to use it. I wanted to heal you and myself. I wanted to take that spell out of Castiel, but every time I think about using magic, I lock up. I'm terrified of hurting people with it."

"That's exactly why you'll never be her again." You look at Dean with tears in your eyes. "You'll find your way again. I know you will."

I'm not so sure this time. Dean arrives at Len's house and manages to get inside Len's house after asking one question about Lizzie Borden. Len is eager to talk about her and loves that someone came to his house to ask him questions. It's a one-story house but it's completely filled with Lizzie items. There's even an entire mannequin of her that looks homemade, no doubt done by Len himself.

"I didn't expect to see her here," you say about the mannequin.

"Well, gotta live your bliss."

"Boy, you are a Lizzie Borden... I don't think fan covers it."

"That's superfan and curator."

"What were you doing that night I caught you at the B&B? Curating?" you ask. Len stutters as he tries to think of an answer. "Len, it's best just to go with the truth here."

"I was trying to get a picture of Lizzie's ghost," he sighs.

"Is that what I saw you with?" you ask and point to his antique camera.

"Yeah, it's what the Victorians used for spirit photography."

"Uh-huh. Have you captured any Caspers on that thing?" Dean asks.

"I've seen Lizzie at her house. She's this wispy, gray shadow, but she never shows up on film. Maybe I should go high-def."

"Why not go inside?"

"I'm not exactly allowed at the inn anymore. There's a minor restraining order, and there's a gag order not to talk about the restraining order but you two are Federal Agents."

"Tell us about the restraining order."

"It was Lizzie's 155th birthday and I couldn't get Lizzie's room, so I stayed in the basement for a couple of days." You raise an eyebrow at him like how a mother would to her child. "Weeks! I wasn't bothering anybody."

"So, it's safe to say that you know the inn pretty well?" Len nods. "Let me ask you, did anything about tonight strike you as weird?"

"Just her banging on the window." A noise comes from Len's computer on the table and he groans in annoyance. "Oh God, no. I'm supposed to lead a live chat about the axe murders in St. Louis. I'm not Lizzie CNN!"

"Yeah, I don't know why anyone would think that," Dean says sarcastically.

"I'll close it down. Be right back."

While Len is busy, you decide to take a look around the place out of curiosity. There are a bunch of magazines and newspapers on the table but something underneath them all catches your eye. You grab the envelope that is sticking out from underneath all the shit, and your heart drops ten feet into your stomach. The Mark of Cain is etched onto the back of a blank envelope, and you turn to Dean with wide eyes.

"Dean, look." Dean's face hardens at the thought of this being yet another ploy for the Darkness. "Amara is everywhere. We can't... I can't escape her."

You both turn to see Len standing right behind you with his eyes wide with fear. Dean takes the envelope from you and shows the Mark of Cain to him.

"Where did you see this?"

"A site about ghosts? The paranormal?"

"Len, you might be the worst liar I've ever met. Tell me where you've seen this symbol." Dean walks toward Len who backs away in fear. "I could just take you down to the station and ask you there, but then we'd have to involve the local police and your restraining order."

"Okay!" Len sighs. "I was outside Lizzie's house a couple of nights ago trying to catch a picture of her. I saw this young woman... girl... standing by the window looking in. She was curious about Lizzie and her parents, but something wasn't right. I walked closer to her and noticed that mark on her collarbone." You touch the spot where your Mark was and close your eyes in pain at the memory of having it. "She said Lizzie definitely hacked her parents because she had serial killer eyes. I ditched her quickly after that."

"You didn't call the police?" you ask.

"Did you not hear me earlier? Restraining order? What was I supposed to say? I was hanging out talking murder with a little twelve-year-old girl in the middle of the night."

"What did this girl look like?" you ask.

"I don't know. A girl. Her name is Amara." You can't help the sob that comes out of your mouth. You cover your mouth and turn away from the men. "Do you know her?"

"You said she was twelve?"

"Maybe a little younger or older. Who is she?"

"She's a runaway. Do you know where Amara is now? Is she still in town?"

"I don't know. Why are you looking for her?"

"We're not at liberty to discuss that."

"You have to tell me. Please. I need to find her!"

"Why?" you ask.

"You won't believe me."

"Try us."

"Before I could leave, she grabbed my face. I don't know what she did, but she sucked something white out of my body. I haven't been the same since. I can't eat or sleep. I don't dream. All the things I used to love like my Lizzie blog and the ghost conventions leave me cold. I put this whole collection on eBay last night. Now it belongs to some machinist in Ohio."

"What about superfan, curator living the bliss?" Dean asks.

"I'm just playing the part of what I used to be. You know, fake it til you make it or in my case, feel it."

"Is that what you were doing at the inn tonight? Faking it?"

"No. I was looking for Amara. I want her to put me back. I've always been odd and quirky, but I had a life and friends. I remember how to talk to people and what to say, but I feel like I'm acting and going through the motions. I'm like a robot puppet man."

You look at Dean with a horrified look on your face. Amara is sucking out people's souls. That's what's happening to Len. He's soulless because she was able to grab his face and suck his soul out easily. You look down at your hands with pure terror on your face because your fear of becoming like her again is now a very real chance. If Amara sucks out your soul, you'll end up becoming the Scarlet Witch and you know for a fact you won't be able to come back after that.

x

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[queen-of-deans-booty]

Thin Lizzie: Part One

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Female!Reader

Word Count: ~2.3k

Warnings: canon angst and violence, extra angst, feeling broken and utterly helpless to the point of depression

Summary: What you think is a routine ghost case turns out to be much more. Amara is back and she is planning something but you're not sure what it is. You know one thing for sure: you might be in danger and are at risk of becoming the one thing you fear: the Scarlet Witch.

Season Eleven Masterlist

Author’s Note: For the sake of this rewrite, we're all going to pretend that the Lizzie Borden House is located in St. Louis.

x

Joanna and Maryann just needed another month with Molly to fully get used to her, and now they're like the best of friends. Joanna loves playing tea parties with Molly while Maryann loves drawing with her. You hate that you can't be that for your kids but you're glad that they have someone to fall back on. Noah is still having issues with her but Molly is doing her best to make him feel as welcome as the other two are.

You're having a much harder time than Dean because all you see when you look in the mirror is a failure of not only a witch and a hunter but a mother. A mother is supposed to take her kids to and from school. A mother is supposed to play tea parties and draw. A mother is supposed to be there for her kids but it's so damn hard for you to do. Did I take them home too early? Did I force it? Instead, Molly is the one doing those things. You're grateful for her but you hate how she makes you feel.

You should have expected this when you asked her to meet you or when you hired her, but all you were thinking about is giving your kids the opportunity to live their best lives... even if it's not with you. You're trying your best but how can you do your best when there is this darkness lingering in the back of your mind? She's just sitting there waiting for you to screw up so badly that she feels the need to take over.

You look at the sandwich you're making for the kids' lunches. Tears threaten to fall but you try not to let them. Maryann is turning three this month so you want to have a small party for her. However, you've been away from her for so long that you're not sure what she likes. You'll have to call Jody and ask her about it when you have time. You sigh silently and cut the crusts off Joanna's sandwich when Molly and Maryann come in. She is squirming and crying which immediately puts you on alert.

"What happened?"

"She's refusing to put clothes on."

"Come here, babygirl." You take Mary into your arms and she immediately calms down. She presses her face into your neck and clutches your clothes. "You're okay. Why don't I get her dressed and you can finish the lunches."

"Sure," she smiles.

You walk Mary back to her bedroom which you have transformed into a big girl room. Her crib and changing table are gone and a bed with railings replaces it. You don't want her falling out of bed when she sleeps but she loves the thing. Robert's room has been left untouched since you created it and if he were here right now, you'd keep them together, so it makes sense that Maryann keeps her room right next to her twin's. To savor this moment with Mary, you hold her in your arms and lightly sway.

She loves me. I love her. I'd do anything for her. She is my baby girl. You rub her back gently and kiss her head.

"Come on, we need to get you ready for school, okay?" She starts to whine but you're not having it. "Mary, you need to go to school."

"No, stay, Mama."

"I wish I could, baby. How about if you go to school, we'll do something when you come home, okay?"

"Okay."

You set her down and allow her to put the clothes on herself. She has trouble with socks and shoes which Molly will help with. You leave her alone and walk into Joanna's room who is already dressed. However, she is on the floor playing with her dolls.

"Joanna, what are you doing? Come on, you gotta go to school."

"I don't want to go."

"Why?"

"I want to stay here with you. You're never home."

Your heart breaks at her words. I'm not a good mother. They don't deserve me. You look away so she doesn't see you cry but you try not to fall apart in front of her. Hunting only takes a few days of the week, sometimes four. You're here most days so you know she's exaggerating but it still hurts.

"Joanna, you know I'd be here if I could. There are people that need to be saved. People your age who have moms and dads who don't know how to protect them."

"I know," she sighs. "I just don't have any friends yet which is outrageous because I'm amazing!"

You chuckle at her confidence and walk over to her. You kneel and take the toys from her, and she looks up at you.

"You are amazing and you will make friends. Just give it some more time. Just... continue being you and you'll have so many friends you won't know what to do with them all." She nods and you kiss the top of her head. "Finish getting ready and go to Molly in the kitchen. She's getting your lunch ready."

"You made my sandwich without the crust, right?"

"Of course." You leave her room and stop by Noah's room which is in the hallway where Sam's room is. He's shoving some papers into his backpack when you knock on the door. "Hey, just seeing how you're doing."

"You're not going to make us move schools again, are you? It's hard enough to make friends if I'm moving all the time."

"No, this is permanent. We'll be here for quite a while. We're not moving anymore."

"Good."

"How is school going?"

"When can I go hunting with you and Dad?"

You smile at his eagerness to hunt. It reminds you of Sam when he was his age. Sam has always wanted to go on hunts with you and Dean and often felt left out because he was the youngest. Dean went hunting because he had to, but Sam went because he wanted to. Sam looked up to his older brother in the same way Noah is looking up to you and Dean.

"So, those training tests we did weren't enough for you?" you chuckle.

"I don't get the point of school when I could be out there hunting and saving people."

"Okay. Let's say I did allow you to go hunting with us and skip out on school. What happens when you go on a hunt and you have to do research but wait, you can't because you don't know how to read." Noah rolls his eyes but lets you continue. "Or what if a hunt takes you to a place where they make chemicals, but you skipped out on science class and get hurt because of it? I'm not doing this to punish you but I am done talking about it. I want you to hunt but I value your education more. Trust me, you might hate me for it now, but you'll thank me for it later."

"Yeah," he sighs.

"I promise I won't keep you from hunting but there will be times when all I need you to do is go to school, make friends, and learn all that you can."

"Okay."

"Molly is in the kitchen with your lunch when you're ready." You leave his room and head back to the kitchen just as Molly finishes with the lunches. "Hey, it's likely the boys have found a hunt which means we probably won't be here when you get back from dropping them off."

"That's okay. While they're at school, I spend my days either playing with the dogs or learning as much as I can about everything. This place is very educational. Have you ever thought of sharing this knowledge?"

"Uh, no. Look, Mary's birthday is this month and I want to do something for her. Something small. I was hoping you could ask the parents of the other kids if they wanted to have a small party for her. Maybe in the park nearby. The backyard is still in shambles, and I haven't had time to fix it."

Not time but faith. I'm scared of using magic.

"Sure," she nods with a smile. "I'll figure something out."

"I have decorations in the garage from Joanna's previous parties that you can maybe use."

"I'll stop by the store and see what they have."

The kids come into the kitchen and grab their lunch bags before following Molly out to the car. Now that you're alone, the heaviness of the darkness returns. You let out a shaky breath before walking into the library where Sam and Dean are.

"I don't suppose you two have anything on the Darkness, right?" you ask and sit next to your husband.

He reaches over and rubs your back in comfort.

"I thought I had something earlier," Sam answers. "Half a town flipped their gourds and started attacking people, but it turns out they'd eaten rabid possum meat."

"Okay, they do realize that possum is a giant rat, right?"

"It's a marsupial." Dean looks confused and Sam shakes his head. "Not the point. Check this out." Sam turns the laptop to face you and Dean. "A couple was ax murdered in St. Louis, Missouri at... wait for it... the Lizzie Borden Bed and Breakfast Museum."

"A B&B and a museum. Yeah, that doesn't sound like a tourist trap at all," Dean scoffs.

"The thing is, the inn was Lizzie Borden's actual house. In 1892, she hacked up her mom and stepdad there or allegedly hacked them up. She was acquitted and spent the rest of her days in St. Louis hounded and persecuted by the townspeople."

"Are you thinking revenge killing?" Sam shrugs. "Why now? It was probably some psycho fan who's seen too many slasher flicks."

"It could be, but the inn was locked up with no signs of entry or exit. There were half a dozen guests, none of whom saw or heard any intruders."

"Maybe the murderer was actually competent," you scoff and lean back in your seat.

"Wait a minute. I know what this is. This has something to do with your freaky fetish for serial killers," Dean gasps.

"It's not a fetish."

"You've always wanted to see that house!"

"Dean, two people are dead. In Lizzie Borden's home. We got no leads on Amara. I say we check this out." Sam closes his laptop and stands up. "Besides, the entire Borden clan are buried in St. Louis. Including Lizzie."

"What do you want to do about Cas?" Dean asks.

"Oh, he's knee-deep binge-watching The Wire. He just started season two."

"Yeah, he's not coming out any time soon."

It took half a day to get there and because you left so early in the morning, it's already nighttime when you walk into the inn. That's good because ghosts tend to come out at night, and you're exhausted. Inside the inn are items for the biggest Lizzie Borden fan including the axe she supposedly used to kill her family with, and it's encased in glass on the wall. There are other memorabilia such as clothes, bags, pens, dolls, and even keychains all about Lizzie Borden. Sam is over the moon being in here and is trying to calm his fanboy side.

"I guess now Lizzie Borden has her own doll."

Mason, the innkeeper, is behind the front desk on the phone with someone.

"No, it's absolutely not a crime scene anymore. The room's been cleaned and you're not even on the same floor. There's no reason to cancel!"

Whoever is on the other end hangs up on him, and he sighs as he puts the phone back on the receiver.

"People still freaked out about the murders, huh?" Dean asks and approaches the front desk.

"Some find it exciting. Can I help you, folks?"

"Yeah, we read about the tragedy and I'm a bit of a history buff. I just wanted to ask. Do you think the killings had anything to do with Lizzie Borden? I mean her ghost, or whatever?" Sam asks.

"Or do you think it's some crazed fan that broke in?"

"These are great questions, guys. Ones we usually answer for our paying guests."

You roll your eyes and watch as Sam pulls out his wallet. Just then, an older woman walks into the room with an angry look on her face.

"Mason! You forgot to cancel the bakery order!"

"Mom! I'm with customers," he hisses.

"Two hundred dollars worth of Danish, and no guests to eat it!"

"These guys can put away a few."

Sam nods at his comment but doesn't say anything about it.

"This is coming out of your paycheck!"

She glares at her son and returns to the kitchen.

"Of course, it is," Mason scoffs.

"We get it. Working with family can be tough," Dean says, and Sam looks at him like he's crazy.

"Twenty years." Sam puts down forty bucks and Mason nods in appreciation. "You'll have your pick of rooms."

"We'll take the one the couple was in."

"The deceased couple?"

"Yeah. We came a long way to see ghosts. We figure there is the most unrest there."

"I'm sorry, gentlemen, but we're not renting the room out for anyone. You know, out of respect." Dean takes out his wallet and hands him forty more bucks. "Oh, well. You gotta get back on the horse sometime, right? You three are lucky. We already redid the room."

"Great, and now that we're paying guests... Did you hear or see anything unusual that night?" Sam asks.

"Not until we heard the screams." Mason takes the money and hands the key to the room over to Sam. "I told Mom to stay downstairs and ran up there. There was so much blood."

"Who were the couple?" you ask.

"Local kids. Nothing special about the girl, but the guy was a descendant of the original Bordens."

"Hm. Thanks."

x

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[queen-of-deans-booty]

Thin Lizzie: Final Part

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Female!Reader

Word Count: ~1.4k

Warnings: canon angst and violence, extra angst, feeling broken and utterly helpless to the point of depression

Summary: What you think is a routine ghost case turns out to be much more. Amara is back and she is planning something but you're not sure what it is. You know one thing for sure: you might be in danger and are at risk of becoming the one thing you fear: the Scarlet Witch.

Season Eleven Masterlist

Author’s Note: For the sake of this rewrite, we're all going to pretend that the Lizzie Borden House is located in St. Louis.

x

You three leave Len in the car and approach Nate's house from the front. You knock twice but receive no answer, so you walk around the porch to see if there are any signs that someone is home. There is a car in the driveway so someone has to be home. You look through the window and see furniture toppled over like there was an attack.

"Something happened in here. Looks like an attack."

Sam points to the car in the driveway. "The blue car is the mom's. I saw it last night."

Dean takes out his lockpick kit to use on the locked door. You look away shamefully knowing you once had the power to unlock doors with just a thought. You do have the power but at what cost? What might you turn into if you use that magic again? Is it worth it? Suddenly, you understand why your mom wanted to give her magic up. Should I do the same? You're not sure how to do that but it might be your only option. No magic means no way of becoming her again.

Once inside the house, you and the brothers split up. You and Dean head down to the basement while Sam stays on the first floor. The basement is dark so you try the light switch by the door only it doesn't work. Since when is it ever that easy? Dean takes the lead and uses his flashlight to light the way and you follow closely behind.

The basement is dark and dingy like how a basement should be, but something pricks at the back of your neck. Something isn't right. The basement opens up to a much wider space that has a full kitchen and table as if someone lives down here. Everything is covered in a thin layer of dust so it hasn't been used in a while, but it's still creepy to see.

There is a small rollaway bed in the corner which wouldn't be cause for concern except for the pool of blood peeking out from underneath it. You nudge Dean and point to the blood, and he moves the bed out of the way to reveal Nate and Dawn, dead on the ground. They were axed to death.

"We gotta go," you whisper.

You and Dean turn to leave but someone hits you both over the head with something hard, and you fall to the ground as the darkness overcomes you.

When you wake up, you're tied to something hard. You wait for your vision to become clear and see that you're tied to one of the wooden posts in the basement. Sam is tied to a chair next to you and Dean is tied to another wooden post on the other side of Sam. The lights are on in the basement which means someone flipped the switch on the breaker to make it seem like the lights weren't working.

"Oh, thank God. I thought you were dead." The woman who hit you over the head stands and steps back a few feet with a shotgun in her hand. "Huh. I can't believe that I bagged all three of you."

"This is Sydney, the killer babysitter," Sam explains. "Not the mom. So, what's the story? Are you gonna hack us up like the others?"

"I'm past that. You three are an offering to my new friend."

Dean looks over at you and raises his eyebrows in silent question. You know what he's asking. He wants you to use your magic to set yourself free. You yank on the ropes with tears in your eyes, and you shake your head at Dean. I can't do it. Will I ever be able to?

"Let me guess. Is your new bestie Amara?" Dean asks.

"You know her?"

"Too well," you mutter.

"How'd you two meet?"

"A couple of nights ago I got pretty wasted. This smug, little trust fund dirtbag had just dumped me. I shouldn't have been drinking that much but I didn't care. Amara found me outside. After talking about how she was going to help me, she grabbed my hands and... I felt like I was Cloud 9, like ecstasy-orgasm-chocolate-cake level. I called her an angel which pissed her off, I guess. She grabbed my face and something white came out of me."

Great. Another victim of Amara's.

"Have you guys ever seen the iced tea commercial? Where the lady is lying along the inflatable raft and she's just drifting along a sparkling pool? That's what being with Amara was like. Bliss. No hurting. No sadness. No memories."

Pain. No happiness. No joy. No sense of who I am.

"So, you don't want memories?" Sam asks.

"Did you have nice parents, Sam? Because my folks treated me and my sister like human ashtrays." Sydney pulls up her shirt to show off the cigarette burns on her body. "I used to have to drink myself blind to even look at these, let alone show anybody. Now, I don't know what Amara did to me but it's just skin. No more waking up screaming from nightmares. No more flashbacks. Amara took away the pain. She lightened something in me."

"Except now you're an axe murderer," you glare.

"I'm free. Before there was always this constant voice in my head, 'You can't do that. It's wrong. What if you get caught?' Now it's quiet. It's just me and what I want. When you can do whatever you want, you don't have to get caught. then you can really fly."

Without a sense of direction, I was the most dangerous thing walking the planet. That little voice never told me to stop so I didn't. Amara didn't take my soul, Dean did. He found a way to put it back in. Sydney doesn't have that option.

"Were you flying when you diced up that couple at the inn?" Dean asks.

"When I'd found out that puss-hole was taking another girl to the B&B... That's his deal-closing move. I didn't have to sit at home and cry about it."

"What about the innkeeper's mom?"

"That piece of jerky," Sydney scoffs. "She screwed me out of two weeks pay. I used to fantasize about killing her and now I'm living the dream."

If you're going to be bad, be bad with a purpose. Otherwise, you're nothing. I had a purpose. Sydney doesn't and that's gonna get her killed.

"That's how you got in and out. You worked there."

"Just for one summer."

"What about Jordie's parents? Huh? What? Did they screw you over, too?"

Jordie must be the son of Dawn, the young boy that Sydney was babysitting.

"Not me. Jordie. Where to start?" she scoffs. "Meth-dealing dad. Slut mom. No, I saved Jordie! I'm going to take better care of him than they ever did."

"You said we were an offering. How do you plan on bringing Amara here? Don't tell me that girl's got a cell phone," you ask.

"I've been praying. I know she can hear me. I can feel it. She's close."

"She's not a God you can pray to. She is vile and manipulative. The only thing she ever did was take away the good things about you! You are nothing and all you'll ever be is nothing," you bite out.

Sydney glares at you and slams the butt of the shotgun into your head.

"She is a goddess!"

The rope on Sam's wrists breaks apart and he jumps out of his seat before Sydney has a chance to react. He runs over to a toolbox for a weapon of say kind, and Sydney blasts him with the shotgun. Sam ducks down right before he can be shot, and she goes to shoot him again when she suddenly stiffens up. She gasps and crumbles to the ground, revealing Len behind her with an axe in hand. He stabbed her, shoved the axe right into her back.

"Holy shit. I just did that," Len gasps.

Sam gets up and approaches Len who then turns the axe on him. Sam holds his hands up in defense and yanks the axe away before Len has a chance to use it on him. You don't think Len would have used the axe on Sam but the younger Winchester isn't taking any chances.

"The darkness is coming." You look at Sydney as she lay dying on the ground. "It's so peaceful. It's coming for all of us."

Amara is going to kill me. Sam unties his brother first before your husband goes to untie you. You're frozen stiff with fear knowing that Amara is out there and likely coming for you. Dean wraps an arm around your shoulder and helps you stand, and you're grateful for the support. Sam takes Jordie outside to talk to him while you and Dean take Len to the living room. Len holds up the hand that was in the handcuff and there is a piece of cloth wrapped around it. He doesn't have a thumb.

"First of all, I ripped my hand out of the cuff."

"You saved us, Len."

"That's not why I mauled myself. I wanted to see if I could do it. It hurt like a motherfucker, but it didn't wig me out. At all. I picked up my thumb like it was a mini-hot dog."

"I'm not gonna lie. That's worrisome."

"That poor girl... My brain said I should help you but I didn't really feel anything. For you three or her. What kind of person can murder and feel nothing?"

What kind of person can murder and feel nothing? Me. You look away just as two tears fall over your cheeks.

"Len. Whatever darkness you have inside you, if there is a shred of conscience, then there might be hope."

"No. Sam said once your soul is gone you can't get it back. I know for sure now if I'm not stopped there will be another kill. I can feel it. Like a bubble rising up."

I needed to keep killing. I needed to feed the Mark. It wouldn't let me stop.

"So, what do you want to do?"

"You could kill me."

There was a time before when I would have killed him without a second thought. Is that part of me still inside?

"No, I can't. I don't want to do that."

"Then there's only one thing else I can do. I'm gonna turn myself in. I'll confess to all the murders. That way I can't get out."

"Huh. Well, there's not too many soulless killers that would give themselves up," Dean says.

"I remember what it was like to do the right thing. So, I'm going through the motions for as long as I can."

As soon as Len turned himself in, you got the hell out of Dodge. Dean stopped to grab some food and parked by some harbor so that he and Sam could enjoy their meal, but you find sleep in the back seat.

"I still can't believe Len turned himself in," Dean says.

"I mean, it kinda makes sense. People have different reactions to losing their souls. I did. Y/N did. Everyone's got their own history, right?"

"Len loses his heart. Sydney loses her head. What are we? Looking for the cowardly lion next?"

"I get like this pit in my stomach any time I think of her. The Darkness. We only know the tip of what she is and what she does to people. Len was freaked out by her, but Sydney? Sydney couldn't get enough. The bliss she was talking about? What was it like for you? Did you feel like that with Amara?"

"No. It was quiet. You know, until she started hatching killers and rallying monsters to raise armies."

"That's how we find her. We follow the bodies." Sam looks back at you and sighs. "Is she going to be alright?"

"I don't know. She's afraid to use magic. She's afraid of becoming the Scarlet Witch again. I tried telling her that she'd have to lose her soul in order for that to happen, but with Amara sucking souls out, it might be possible again. I'd die before I let her become that... thing again. She was not human. I won't let her be that again."

"She won't. We won't let her."

Sam and Dean finish their meals and drive the rest of the way back to Lebanon. Molly manages to get four kids and their parents to attend the small party for Maryann at the local park. Mary is happy with whatever you give her, so she was ecstatic when she found out she'd be playing at the park all day with friends she made at preschool.

Molly set up a small table for presents near two trees and decorations litter the park even though she doesn't pay any attention to them. There isn't a lot of presents but Mary doesn't seem to mind. You wish you could do more for your kids but even getting out of bed proves to be the best you can do. Will I ever get better? You look down at your hands and see them glow softly with magic but you quickly look away in pain.

No matter how hard you try, you just can't seem to use it.

x

Want to be tagged? Follow my library blog @aqueenslibrary​​​​​​ where I reblog all my stories, so you can put notifications on there without the extra stuff :)

[queen-of-deans-booty]

Thin Lizzie: Part Three

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Female!Reader

Word Count: ~1.4k

Warnings: canon angst and violence, extra angst, feeling broken and utterly helpless to the point of depression

Summary: What you think is a routine ghost case turns out to be much more. Amara is back and she is planning something but you're not sure what it is. You know one thing for sure: you might be in danger and are at risk of becoming the one thing you fear: the Scarlet Witch.

Season Eleven Masterlist

Author’s Note: For the sake of this rewrite, we're all going to pretend that the Lizzie Borden House is located in St. Louis.

x

Dean steps off to the side and calls his brother, leaving you alone to drown in your own thoughts. He will comfort you later but right now, Sam deserves to know what is going on here.

"Wait? Amara was here? How?" Sam asks when he hears what Dean has to say.

"I don't know but apparently, she's twelve."

"How is that even possible?"

"It ain't Wheaties she's eating, I can tell you that much," Dean scoffs.

"Meaning?"

"Len ain't doing so hot. I think Amara sucked out his soul. Y/N is freaking out because if she can suck out Len's soul, she can suck out Y/N's soul. All that fear of becoming the Scarlet Witch is back now."

"We should meet up. I'll head to Len's house. Someone's gotta tell him what's really going on."

"Yeah." Dean hangs up the phone and turns to Len. "Len, we're going to go outside and have a little chat. My partner is coming over here. Hang tight, okay?"

"Okay."

Dean takes you outside his house and waits there for Sam to come. Now that you're out of Len's earshot, you freak out to the max.

"She's gonna suck my soul out. What if that's what she needs from me? What if she doesn't want to possess me but wants my soul instead? She wants my magic and my magic is tied to my soul. God, I'm going to become like her, aren't I?" you cry.

"Y/N, calm down. You're not going to lose your soul."

"How do you know that? Please, Dean, do you know for one hundred percent certainty that she won't do that?" Dean doesn't have an answer for that. "See? What if I hurt our children?"

"Okay, listen to me." Dean grabs your shoulders and forces you to look at him. "You are not going to turn back into the Scarlet Witch. I won't let that happen. You gotta tell yourself that because you are my wife. I couldn't protect you from it then, but I can damn well do it now, okay?"

"Okay," you whisper.

"I need you to say it."

"I won't turn back into her."

"Say it like you mean it."

"I won't turn into her," you say with more confidence.

Dean pulls you in and kisses you. The kiss is short-lived when Sam approaches you two from the side.

"So, Amara's growing like a radioactive weed?" Sam asks when he gets to your side.

"Yeah, by stuffing her face with souls."

"Does that mean she's getting more power? For what?"

"I don't know. That tsunami's gonna hit us sooner or later. We'll deal with what we can deal with like all these spent shells Amara's leaving behind."

"You don't think Len's our Lizzie Borden, do you?"

"No, I don't think so. Except for seeing him at the B&B, he's been here all night. So, we can't kill him because he hasn't done anything yet."

"Dean, we don't want to kill him. We want to save people. Remember?"

Dean snaps his fingers and remembers their conversation from months prior.

"Right. The new rules. My question is why hasn't he offed anybody? I mean, it took Jenna all of walking downstairs to slit her grandmother's throat."

"I don't know. Maybe not everybody that gets their soul sucked out turns into a killer."

It'd be nice if I was one of those people.

"Or maybe he just hasn't got around to it yet." Sam shrugs in response. "I think the best thing is we stick close until we figure out how to help him out. Which starts with you telling him he's got no soul."

"Me?"

"Yeah."

"Why me?"

"Look at Y/N." You're almost in tears at the thought of Amara sucking your soul out. "She clearly can't do it and the only other person who has been soulless is you. You speak the language. He doesn't even know he's been hoovered yet."

"Okay, but you two have a better relationship with him than I do."

"You're better with the whole sensitive verbal message thing."

"There is no sensitive way to tell somebody their soul's been sucked out by a prehistoric tween! Even if Len does believe us, is that supposed to make him feel better?"

"Fine. He probably couldn't handle the truth right now anyway. He's a little fragile right now." Dean groans and rolls his neck to crack it. "Looks like we're babysitting a thirty-year-old man."

"There may be someone else Amara got to as well. The murders started right around the time Len saw Amara, right? Well, the wife of the last victim, Dawn Pensky, had this bizarre reaction to hearing her husband had died like she couldn't care less. It was kind of the way I felt the whole time I was soulless."

"Oh, yeah. You were one chilly droid."

You look down and try not to think how you'd rather be swallowed up by the Earth than be here. Anywhere Amara is, you don't want to be. You know what she's like. You had her inside your head for years. She tormented you and made you fear for your life and your children's lives. She is the reason you terminated your first pregnancy. She's not a good person.

"Anyways, the detective thinks she's in shock, but I think it may be that Mom lost her soul and picked up an axe."

Sam and Dean don't want Len going off the rails so they decide to bring him along when you go to question Dawn the next day, Len is coming with. You're stuck in the back seat with him while Dean is behind the wheel and Sam is knocking on Dawn's front door. No one answers the door and he looks back at the car where Dean puts his hands up as if he's impatient. Sam shakes his head and takes out his phone to call Dawn's babysitter.

"Hello?"

"Sydney, this is Agent Collins. I'm trying to find Mrs. Pensky. Do you have any idea where she might be?"

"Um, no. She, um, didn't mention anything. Dawn didn't want me to come over today."

"Sydney. You are a part of a Federal murder investigation. You do not want to hold anything back from us."

"Okay," she sighs. "There might be one place where she might be. Dawn has a friend, Nate. A special friend. Look, I'm not trying to get her in trouble."

"Do you have an address?"

She sends Sam the address who then gives it to Dean. The second you leave Dawn's driveway, Len starts babbling on about how he used to love so many things but doesn't care for them anymore. If he continues to talk, you're going to get a headache...

"Kitten videos, chicken and waffles, and eucalyptus scent. I don't care for it anymore. I used to swoon for dark, curly hair. Now, not so much. Do you think I had a stroke? Or maybe it's a brain tumor. What's really freaky is all the stuff that used to make my skin crawl now seems... eh."

Okay, maybe you're already here. Dean looks at his brother and mouths something to him but you're not able to understand it.

"I couldn't shake a guy's hand before. God, that wetness. Now, I could lick the sweat off a stranger's--"

You slam your hand on the back of the front seat and turn to Len with a glare.

"Shut the fuck up. Seriously. You're giving me a fucking headache."

Len frowns but does as he's told. He stays silent for all of two seconds before opening his big mouth.

"I'm serious. I feel weird, man."

You roll your eyes and get out of the car.

"Weird, how?" Sam asks.

"Like, something's hatching inside of me. Something dark... with wings." Sam and Dean look at each other knowingly and Len picks up on it. "What is it?

"Nothing."

"You looked at Sam like you guys know what's wrong with me!" Dean gets out of the car and Len slides to the end of the seat to look out the open window. Dean whips out a pair of handcuffs and locks it on his wrist. He clips the other side to the handle of the back door from the outside so Len can't go anywhere. "Hey!"

"You don't have a soul, alright? Amara sucked it out," Dean blurts.

"What?!"

"Dean!" Both brothers look at each other over the top of the car. "You wanna be a little more blunt?"

"How is that even possible?" Len asks.

"Look, the handcuffs are just so you don't get in trouble. We'll be back and then we'll figure out what to do with you."

"How do I get my soul back?"

"You don't."

Len opens his mouth to respond but nothing comes out. He leans back in his seat with a slight sigh.

"It feels good to finally know."

x

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[queen-of-deans-booty]

Thin Lizzie: Part Two

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Female!Reader

Word Count: ~2.4k

Warnings: canon angst and violence, extra angst, feeling broken and utterly helpless to the point of depression

Summary: What you think is a routine ghost case turns out to be much more. Amara is back and she is planning something but you're not sure what it is. You know one thing for sure: you might be in danger and are at risk of becoming the one thing you fear: the Scarlet Witch.

Season Eleven Masterlist

Author’s Note: For the sake of this rewrite, we're all going to pretend that the Lizzie Borden House is located in St. Louis.

x

Sam and Dean take the bags to a room that is unlike anything you've ever seen. Flowers. Flowers... everywhere. The wallpaper, the bed sheets and blanket, the carpet, and even the upholstery of the chairs. It's like someone's grandma was the interior decorator.

"I don't know where to put my eyes. I think I'm gonna throw up," Dean says. "We're surrounded by doilies. They're everywhere. You'd think the innkeeper might have mentioned this before he ripped us off."

"I guess you're gonna have to get yourself another room because this was Lizzie's original room and I'm not giving it up."

"What are you, four?"

Sam grabs his EMF reader and turns it on. Noise comes from the small box and it lights up like crazy. Dean walks into the bathroom to check it out while you stay by the door, unsure of how to help. I feel useless. Why am I even here? You hate thinking these thoughts and wish they'd stop, but you don't know how to get better. You don't know where to start.

"Look at that. That jives with what people online have been saying about the upstairs--crying in empty rooms, footsteps, and buzzing lights." Sam walks into the closet and the EMf reader immediately stops. "No secret panels or passageways in the closet."

Dean walks out of the bathroom. "The world's smallest bathroom is clean." Dean scrunches his nose in disgust. "What is that smell?"

"I think it's this." Sam holds up an old-timey perfume bottle with a squeeze pump. "It's like lavender toilet water."

"Bottled toilet water?" Sam squeezes the pump several times and Dean looks at him like he's crazy. "Why do you keep spraying it?"

"I just wanted to see of the squeezy thing worked." You can't help the snicker that escapes your mouth. You look away but Dean sees the smile on your face. It's been a long time since he's seen that smile of yours and it's beautiful. "I think it was supposed to be a perfume or something."

"I think Y/N and I are gonna go check downstairs because now I've got grandma all over me. Come on, sweetheart."

Just like that, the moment has passed. You leave the room and follow Dean back downstairs where the Lizzie Borden memorabilia are.

"It's been a while since I've seen that smile of yours."

"Yeah," you sigh.

"So, now that I have a moment alone with you, and after some time thinking about it, I wanted to talk to you about that were-pyre case we had last month."

"What about it?"

Dean stops right in front of you and tucks a strand behind your hair.

"Sweetheart, you were shot. You nearly died. You have magic that can heal you and you didn't use it. You haven't used magic since you got your soul back."

"I don't know how to anymore," you whisper. "I'm afraid of turning back into her if I do."

"That will only happen if you lose your soul, and that's not going to happen."

"Something in me is broken, and I don't know how to fix it."

Suddenly, the lights start flickering on and off, interrupting the very touching moment. Dean rolls a chair over to the chandelier that is flickering so he can check if the bulbs are loose. He taps the side of the lamp when a flash of white pops up. You walk over to the window to see where the source of the light is coming from when it happens again. There is a man with an old-looking camera that is used by draping a cloth over the person's head so they can take the picture that way. You knock on the window which startles the man.

"Hey!" The man grabs his camera and runs off clumsily without another word. You roll your eyes and look at Dean who shrugs. "I don't think this place is haunted."

"Me either."

Dean returns the chair to where he found it before you two head back to the room. He rummages through the drawers as if he's looking for something and even moves the dresser back to peer behind it. He laughs and reaches down to grab something back there. He holds up a machine that looks like a remote of some sort. He presses a button and the lights inside the room start to flicker. He sets the box down and starts taking the room apart piece by piece. There is a picture of Lizzie on the wall that when removed shows a gaping hole where a speaker is. He reaches in and pulls out a recording device--on it are sounds of crying women and other noises.

"What fucking frauds," Dean scoffs.

Just then, Sam walks into the room.

"No Lizzie in the attic, but I did find a homemade EMF generator. I turned that beast off and what do you know? No more signal."

"Shocker." Dean holds up the remote for the lights. "The flickering lights are just wired to timers either buried in the wall or behind dressers." He walks to the hole in the wall and points to it. "Pictures are covering up our very own sound system. I fished this out of the wall."

He plays the recording of the crying woman.

"Crying in empty rooms," Sam scoffs.

"There's more like running footsteps and creepy whispers you can't make out. The whole place is a hoax, man. It's a tourist trap just like I said."

"Yeah, but we still don't know how the couple got axed. I mean, how did the killer get in and out?"

"I don't know. Why don't we Sherlock that over a beer or something and a lobster roll. I got to get out of this doily coffin."

You three don't get to enjoy your meal for very long because shortly after you leave, Mason's mother is killed. The police are already on the scene when you arrive back at the inn, and they let you in when they see your badges.

"Detective Madsen? Agent Collins."

"You weren't Feds earlier!" Mason exclaims.

"My partners and I were undercover investigating the original murders."

"Where the hell were you when my mom was being... Oh," Mason cries.

"I'm so very sorry, Mr. Kemper."

"We're gonna find the son of bitch who is doing this," the detective says. You look at Dean who is off to the side using his EMF reader but it's not going off. Whatever or whoever did this wasn't a ghost. "He had just finished locking up. No one was inside but him and Mrs. Kemper. The staff went home hours ago."

"You don't have any suspects for the first murders?"

The Detective shakes his head just as Dean appears. 

"Listen, I saw a guy hanging around earlier snapping some photos, and he ran away when I tried to make contact," you say.

"Let me guess. Short. Chunky. Baby faced?"

"Yeah."

"Yeah, that's Len. Total teddy bear. I went to high school with him. He's obsessed with ghosts but harmless."

"Ghosts? Is that a real issue around here?"

"According to the Chamber of Commerce, absolutely. I'll send an officer to Len and get a statement from him."

"You know what? You got your hands full. We'll drop by."

"Okay, thanks."

You three leave and get into the car after getting the address from the detective. Dean pulls onto the road and starts the short drive to Len's house.

"So far we got squat that says ghost or anything remotely us."

"Maybe it's not our usual kind of gig. Maybe we're dealing with a serial killer?"

"You'd love that, wouldn't you?"

Sam rolls his eyes and his phone rings.

"Agent Collins," he answers.

"This is Detective Madsen. There's been another victim."

"Another victim? Really?"

"It was an accident in the next county. I'm there now."

"Thanks for letting us know." He hangs up and looks at his brother. "There's another axe victim. This one is miles from the B&B."

"Lizzie left home."

"Apparently. I'll take the crime scene. You two take Len."

Dean does a one-eighty and heads to the newest crime scene to drop Sam off. You take his spot in the front seat and Dean drives over to Len's house.

"Okay, what do you mean you're broken?" Dean asks, remembering your last conversation before you were interrupted. "You're not broken."

"I don't know, Dean." You sigh. "I feel like how I felt when I first discovered magic. I want to use it. I wanted to heal you and myself. I wanted to take that spell out of Castiel, but every time I think about using magic, I lock up. I'm terrified of hurting people with it."

"That's exactly why you'll never be her again." You look at Dean with tears in your eyes. "You'll find your way again. I know you will."

I'm not so sure this time. Dean arrives at Len's house and manages to get inside Len's house after asking one question about Lizzie Borden. Len is eager to talk about her and loves that someone came to his house to ask him questions. It's a one-story house but it's completely filled with Lizzie items. There's even an entire mannequin of her that looks homemade, no doubt done by Len himself.

"I didn't expect to see her here," you say about the mannequin.

"Well, gotta live your bliss."

"Boy, you are a Lizzie Borden... I don't think fan covers it."

"That's superfan and curator."

"What were you doing that night I caught you at the B&B? Curating?" you ask. Len stutters as he tries to think of an answer. "Len, it's best just to go with the truth here."

"I was trying to get a picture of Lizzie's ghost," he sighs.

"Is that what I saw you with?" you ask and point to his antique camera.

"Yeah, it's what the Victorians used for spirit photography."

"Uh-huh. Have you captured any Caspers on that thing?" Dean asks.

"I've seen Lizzie at her house. She's this wispy, gray shadow, but she never shows up on film. Maybe I should go high-def."

"Why not go inside?"

"I'm not exactly allowed at the inn anymore. There's a minor restraining order, and there's a gag order not to talk about the restraining order but you two are Federal Agents."

"Tell us about the restraining order."

"It was Lizzie's 155th birthday and I couldn't get Lizzie's room, so I stayed in the basement for a couple of days." You raise an eyebrow at him like how a mother would to her child. "Weeks! I wasn't bothering anybody."

"So, it's safe to say that you know the inn pretty well?" Len nods. "Let me ask you, did anything about tonight strike you as weird?"

"Just her banging on the window." A noise comes from Len's computer on the table and he groans in annoyance. "Oh God, no. I'm supposed to lead a live chat about the axe murders in St. Louis. I'm not Lizzie CNN!"

"Yeah, I don't know why anyone would think that," Dean says sarcastically.

"I'll close it down. Be right back."

While Len is busy, you decide to take a look around the place out of curiosity. There are a bunch of magazines and newspapers on the table but something underneath them all catches your eye. You grab the envelope that is sticking out from underneath all the shit, and your heart drops ten feet into your stomach. The Mark of Cain is etched onto the back of a blank envelope, and you turn to Dean with wide eyes.

"Dean, look." Dean's face hardens at the thought of this being yet another ploy for the Darkness. "Amara is everywhere. We can't... I can't escape her."

You both turn to see Len standing right behind you with his eyes wide with fear. Dean takes the envelope from you and shows the Mark of Cain to him.

"Where did you see this?"

"A site about ghosts? The paranormal?"

"Len, you might be the worst liar I've ever met. Tell me where you've seen this symbol." Dean walks toward Len who backs away in fear. "I could just take you down to the station and ask you there, but then we'd have to involve the local police and your restraining order."

"Okay!" Len sighs. "I was outside Lizzie's house a couple of nights ago trying to catch a picture of her. I saw this young woman... girl... standing by the window looking in. She was curious about Lizzie and her parents, but something wasn't right. I walked closer to her and noticed that mark on her collarbone." You touch the spot where your Mark was and close your eyes in pain at the memory of having it. "She said Lizzie definitely hacked her parents because she had serial killer eyes. I ditched her quickly after that."

"You didn't call the police?" you ask.

"Did you not hear me earlier? Restraining order? What was I supposed to say? I was hanging out talking murder with a little twelve-year-old girl in the middle of the night."

"What did this girl look like?" you ask.

"I don't know. A girl. Her name is Amara." You can't help the sob that comes out of your mouth. You cover your mouth and turn away from the men. "Do you know her?"

"You said she was twelve?"

"Maybe a little younger or older. Who is she?"

"She's a runaway. Do you know where Amara is now? Is she still in town?"

"I don't know. Why are you looking for her?"

"We're not at liberty to discuss that."

"You have to tell me. Please. I need to find her!"

"Why?" you ask.

"You won't believe me."

"Try us."

"Before I could leave, she grabbed my face. I don't know what she did, but she sucked something white out of my body. I haven't been the same since. I can't eat or sleep. I don't dream. All the things I used to love like my Lizzie blog and the ghost conventions leave me cold. I put this whole collection on eBay last night. Now it belongs to some machinist in Ohio."

"What about superfan, curator living the bliss?" Dean asks.

"I'm just playing the part of what I used to be. You know, fake it til you make it or in my case, feel it."

"Is that what you were doing at the inn tonight? Faking it?"

"No. I was looking for Amara. I want her to put me back. I've always been odd and quirky, but I had a life and friends. I remember how to talk to people and what to say, but I feel like I'm acting and going through the motions. I'm like a robot puppet man."

You look at Dean with a horrified look on your face. Amara is sucking out people's souls. That's what's happening to Len. He's soulless because she was able to grab his face and suck his soul out easily. You look down at your hands with pure terror on your face because your fear of becoming like her again is now a very real chance. If Amara sucks out your soul, you'll end up becoming the Scarlet Witch and you know for a fact you won't be able to come back after that.

x

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[queen-of-deans-booty]

Thin Lizzie: Part One

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Female!Reader

Word Count: ~2.3k

Warnings: canon angst and violence, extra angst, feeling broken and utterly helpless to the point of depression

Summary: What you think is a routine ghost case turns out to be much more. Amara is back and she is planning something but you're not sure what it is. You know one thing for sure: you might be in danger and are at risk of becoming the one thing you fear: the Scarlet Witch.

Season Eleven Masterlist

Author’s Note: For the sake of this rewrite, we're all going to pretend that the Lizzie Borden House is located in St. Louis.

x

Joanna and Maryann just needed another month with Molly to fully get used to her, and now they're like the best of friends. Joanna loves playing tea parties with Molly while Maryann loves drawing with her. You hate that you can't be that for your kids but you're glad that they have someone to fall back on. Noah is still having issues with her but Molly is doing her best to make him feel as welcome as the other two are.

You're having a much harder time than Dean because all you see when you look in the mirror is a failure of not only a witch and a hunter but a mother. A mother is supposed to take her kids to and from school. A mother is supposed to play tea parties and draw. A mother is supposed to be there for her kids but it's so damn hard for you to do. Did I take them home too early? Did I force it? Instead, Molly is the one doing those things. You're grateful for her but you hate how she makes you feel.

You should have expected this when you asked her to meet you or when you hired her, but all you were thinking about is giving your kids the opportunity to live their best lives... even if it's not with you. You're trying your best but how can you do your best when there is this darkness lingering in the back of your mind? She's just sitting there waiting for you to screw up so badly that she feels the need to take over.

You look at the sandwich you're making for the kids' lunches. Tears threaten to fall but you try not to let them. Maryann is turning three this month so you want to have a small party for her. However, you've been away from her for so long that you're not sure what she likes. You'll have to call Jody and ask her about it when you have time. You sigh silently and cut the crusts off Joanna's sandwich when Molly and Maryann come in. She is squirming and crying which immediately puts you on alert.

"What happened?"

"She's refusing to put clothes on."

"Come here, babygirl." You take Mary into your arms and she immediately calms down. She presses her face into your neck and clutches your clothes. "You're okay. Why don't I get her dressed and you can finish the lunches."

"Sure," she smiles.

You walk Mary back to her bedroom which you have transformed into a big girl room. Her crib and changing table are gone and a bed with railings replaces it. You don't want her falling out of bed when she sleeps but she loves the thing. Robert's room has been left untouched since you created it and if he were here right now, you'd keep them together, so it makes sense that Maryann keeps her room right next to her twin's. To savor this moment with Mary, you hold her in your arms and lightly sway.

She loves me. I love her. I'd do anything for her. She is my baby girl. You rub her back gently and kiss her head.

"Come on, we need to get you ready for school, okay?" She starts to whine but you're not having it. "Mary, you need to go to school."

"No, stay, Mama."

"I wish I could, baby. How about if you go to school, we'll do something when you come home, okay?"

"Okay."

You set her down and allow her to put the clothes on herself. She has trouble with socks and shoes which Molly will help with. You leave her alone and walk into Joanna's room who is already dressed. However, she is on the floor playing with her dolls.

"Joanna, what are you doing? Come on, you gotta go to school."

"I don't want to go."

"Why?"

"I want to stay here with you. You're never home."

Your heart breaks at her words. I'm not a good mother. They don't deserve me. You look away so she doesn't see you cry but you try not to fall apart in front of her. Hunting only takes a few days of the week, sometimes four. You're here most days so you know she's exaggerating but it still hurts.

"Joanna, you know I'd be here if I could. There are people that need to be saved. People your age who have moms and dads who don't know how to protect them."

"I know," she sighs. "I just don't have any friends yet which is outrageous because I'm amazing!"

You chuckle at her confidence and walk over to her. You kneel and take the toys from her, and she looks up at you.

"You are amazing and you will make friends. Just give it some more time. Just... continue being you and you'll have so many friends you won't know what to do with them all." She nods and you kiss the top of her head. "Finish getting ready and go to Molly in the kitchen. She's getting your lunch ready."

"You made my sandwich without the crust, right?"

"Of course." You leave her room and stop by Noah's room which is in the hallway where Sam's room is. He's shoving some papers into his backpack when you knock on the door. "Hey, just seeing how you're doing."

"You're not going to make us move schools again, are you? It's hard enough to make friends if I'm moving all the time."

"No, this is permanent. We'll be here for quite a while. We're not moving anymore."

"Good."

"How is school going?"

"When can I go hunting with you and Dad?"

You smile at his eagerness to hunt. It reminds you of Sam when he was his age. Sam has always wanted to go on hunts with you and Dean and often felt left out because he was the youngest. Dean went hunting because he had to, but Sam went because he wanted to. Sam looked up to his older brother in the same way Noah is looking up to you and Dean.

"So, those training tests we did weren't enough for you?" you chuckle.

"I don't get the point of school when I could be out there hunting and saving people."

"Okay. Let's say I did allow you to go hunting with us and skip out on school. What happens when you go on a hunt and you have to do research but wait, you can't because you don't know how to read." Noah rolls his eyes but lets you continue. "Or what if a hunt takes you to a place where they make chemicals, but you skipped out on science class and get hurt because of it? I'm not doing this to punish you but I am done talking about it. I want you to hunt but I value your education more. Trust me, you might hate me for it now, but you'll thank me for it later."

"Yeah," he sighs.

"I promise I won't keep you from hunting but there will be times when all I need you to do is go to school, make friends, and learn all that you can."

"Okay."

"Molly is in the kitchen with your lunch when you're ready." You leave his room and head back to the kitchen just as Molly finishes with the lunches. "Hey, it's likely the boys have found a hunt which means we probably won't be here when you get back from dropping them off."

"That's okay. While they're at school, I spend my days either playing with the dogs or learning as much as I can about everything. This place is very educational. Have you ever thought of sharing this knowledge?"

"Uh, no. Look, Mary's birthday is this month and I want to do something for her. Something small. I was hoping you could ask the parents of the other kids if they wanted to have a small party for her. Maybe in the park nearby. The backyard is still in shambles, and I haven't had time to fix it."

Not time but faith. I'm scared of using magic.

"Sure," she nods with a smile. "I'll figure something out."

"I have decorations in the garage from Joanna's previous parties that you can maybe use."

"I'll stop by the store and see what they have."

The kids come into the kitchen and grab their lunch bags before following Molly out to the car. Now that you're alone, the heaviness of the darkness returns. You let out a shaky breath before walking into the library where Sam and Dean are.

"I don't suppose you two have anything on the Darkness, right?" you ask and sit next to your husband.

He reaches over and rubs your back in comfort.

"I thought I had something earlier," Sam answers. "Half a town flipped their gourds and started attacking people, but it turns out they'd eaten rabid possum meat."

"Okay, they do realize that possum is a giant rat, right?"

"It's a marsupial." Dean looks confused and Sam shakes his head. "Not the point. Check this out." Sam turns the laptop to face you and Dean. "A couple was ax murdered in St. Louis, Missouri at... wait for it... the Lizzie Borden Bed and Breakfast Museum."

"A B&B and a museum. Yeah, that doesn't sound like a tourist trap at all," Dean scoffs.

"The thing is, the inn was Lizzie Borden's actual house. In 1892, she hacked up her mom and stepdad there or allegedly hacked them up. She was acquitted and spent the rest of her days in St. Louis hounded and persecuted by the townspeople."

"Are you thinking revenge killing?" Sam shrugs. "Why now? It was probably some psycho fan who's seen too many slasher flicks."

"It could be, but the inn was locked up with no signs of entry or exit. There were half a dozen guests, none of whom saw or heard any intruders."

"Maybe the murderer was actually competent," you scoff and lean back in your seat.

"Wait a minute. I know what this is. This has something to do with your freaky fetish for serial killers," Dean gasps.

"It's not a fetish."

"You've always wanted to see that house!"

"Dean, two people are dead. In Lizzie Borden's home. We got no leads on Amara. I say we check this out." Sam closes his laptop and stands up. "Besides, the entire Borden clan are buried in St. Louis. Including Lizzie."

"What do you want to do about Cas?" Dean asks.

"Oh, he's knee-deep binge-watching The Wire. He just started season two."

"Yeah, he's not coming out any time soon."

It took half a day to get there and because you left so early in the morning, it's already nighttime when you walk into the inn. That's good because ghosts tend to come out at night, and you're exhausted. Inside the inn are items for the biggest Lizzie Borden fan including the axe she supposedly used to kill her family with, and it's encased in glass on the wall. There are other memorabilia such as clothes, bags, pens, dolls, and even keychains all about Lizzie Borden. Sam is over the moon being in here and is trying to calm his fanboy side.

"I guess now Lizzie Borden has her own doll."

Mason, the innkeeper, is behind the front desk on the phone with someone.

"No, it's absolutely not a crime scene anymore. The room's been cleaned and you're not even on the same floor. There's no reason to cancel!"

Whoever is on the other end hangs up on him, and he sighs as he puts the phone back on the receiver.

"People still freaked out about the murders, huh?" Dean asks and approaches the front desk.

"Some find it exciting. Can I help you, folks?"

"Yeah, we read about the tragedy and I'm a bit of a history buff. I just wanted to ask. Do you think the killings had anything to do with Lizzie Borden? I mean her ghost, or whatever?" Sam asks.

"Or do you think it's some crazed fan that broke in?"

"These are great questions, guys. Ones we usually answer for our paying guests."

You roll your eyes and watch as Sam pulls out his wallet. Just then, an older woman walks into the room with an angry look on her face.

"Mason! You forgot to cancel the bakery order!"

"Mom! I'm with customers," he hisses.

"Two hundred dollars worth of Danish, and no guests to eat it!"

"These guys can put away a few."

Sam nods at his comment but doesn't say anything about it.

"This is coming out of your paycheck!"

She glares at her son and returns to the kitchen.

"Of course, it is," Mason scoffs.

"We get it. Working with family can be tough," Dean says, and Sam looks at him like he's crazy.

"Twenty years." Sam puts down forty bucks and Mason nods in appreciation. "You'll have your pick of rooms."

"We'll take the one the couple was in."

"The deceased couple?"

"Yeah. We came a long way to see ghosts. We figure there is the most unrest there."

"I'm sorry, gentlemen, but we're not renting the room out for anyone. You know, out of respect." Dean takes out his wallet and hands him forty more bucks. "Oh, well. You gotta get back on the horse sometime, right? You three are lucky. We already redid the room."

"Great, and now that we're paying guests... Did you hear or see anything unusual that night?" Sam asks.

"Not until we heard the screams." Mason takes the money and hands the key to the room over to Sam. "I told Mom to stay downstairs and ran up there. There was so much blood."

"Who were the couple?" you ask.

"Local kids. Nothing special about the girl, but the guy was a descendant of the original Bordens."

"Hm. Thanks."

x

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[queen-of-deans-booty]

this is updated! <3

Supernatural

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[queen-of-deans-booty]

Baby: Final Part

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Female!Reader

Word Count: ~2.2k

Warnings: canon angst and violence, extra angst, feeling broken and utterly helpless to the point of depression, wanting to die, being shot

Summary: You're trying to prove to Sam and Dean that after two months of having your soul restored, you're all better. You'll gladly play the part if it means they don't worry about you. However, that facade is slowly being stripped away from you the longer you go without facing up to those feelings. You're not okay and you need to stop pretending like you are.

Season Eleven Masterlist

Author’s Note: I do not own anything from Supernatural. All credit goes to their respective owners. I love seeing any and all comments <3

x

She makes a sharp turn into the woods and drives over a few loose rocks, jerking you in your seat. More blood spills out from the wound, and you press your hand to it as hard as you can. She parks the car, gets out, and yanks the back door open. She grabs Dean's hand and handcuffs them behind his back before looking at you. There is no way you're going to end up fighting her when you're fighting for your own life. She grabs the head from the trunk and walks over to the deputy's body. You turn your head to see her fixing him. She is reattaching his head to his body.

"Dean, wake up," you groan.

"Y/N?" Dean groans.

"She shot me, Dean. I can't..."

Dean lifts his head as best as he can to see blood spill out between your fingers.

"Y/N, heal yourself. You can do this. Focus on healing yourself."

"I can't," you cry. "I can't do it."

Mrs. Markham and Deputy Donnelly pile into the car with the deputy behind the wheel and Mrs. Markham in the passenger seat. As he is driving, he keeps looking back at you and Dean curiously. You're trying not to bleed out and Dean is trying to think of a way out of this with both your lives.

"I know you two are hunters," he sneers.

He reaches behind him and pulls Dean up so he's sitting instead of lying on the seat face down.

"I know you're a Nachzehrer. The maker, right? The pack Alpha?"

"Maybe you're not as dumb as you look."

"Thought you and yours like to keep a low profile."

"Sadly, rookies like Lily here aren't up to snuff when it comes to keeping their feeding quiet," he glares at Mrs. Markham.

"You killed your husband?" Dean asks.

He looks at you who is just trying to hold it together. The bullet didn't hit anything major, you don't think, but if you don't get medical help soon, you're gonna die.

"He wouldn't join us. People who don't join are food. I messed up, and I didn't bury him right."

"It's my fault, really. You weren't properly trained, but everyone deserves a mulligan, don't they? That's all my people were trying to do, Lily. They weren't going to kill you. Hell, I need you. I need all the help I can get."

"How many have you turned?"

Dean spots a hairpin on the seat from Sam's joyous hookup and tries to use it to free himself from his cuffs. He continues to look at you to make sure you're awake as he works.

"In the first hundred years? Three. In the last month? Sixteen."

"What, are you trying to field a baseball team?"

"It's like I said, I need help, every strong hand I can find. I need an army to fight the Darkness." Dean's face falls at the mention of Amara. "Oh, it's coming for all of us. There's nothing hunters or any human can do about it."

"Do you know how to stop it?"

"I don't think anything can stop it. I'm just trying to buy some time so I'm turning as many strong men and women as I can. Your brother will make a fine addition to the rank and file." He holds Dean's phone up. "I had Lily send him a text message from your phone. Oh, he's heading into a trap right now. You'd make a good soldier, too, but you cut off my head and I can't stand for that. Don't worry. I'm an every part of the buffalo kind of guy. Your death won't go to waste. You'll be your brother's first meal."

"What about me?" you bite out painfully.

"You're already wounded. No point in trying to save you. You'll be my meal," he grins with his fangs out.

Dean gets the cuffs off and attacks the deputy from behind. Dean wraps his arms around his neck and tries to choke him out, causing the car to swerve and crash into a construction zone. The crash is enough to jerk you around hard enough to knock you out. When you come to, every single window is shattered, the deputy is through the windshield, Mrs. Markham is lying on the floorboard in the front, and Dean is slumped over the back of the front seat. You moan painfully and look at Dean who is just now waking up.

Dean sits up and rubs his head as he takes in his surroundings. Your cry of pain is what jerks him into focus, and he slides closer to you. You're pale and shaky and still bleeding over your fingers.

"Y/N, you need to heal yourself."

"I can't. I can't do it, Dean," you cry.

The deputy stands up and glares at Dean through the shattered windshield. There is a huge piece of glass stuck in his cheek and blood everywhere but he is weakened. It doesn't matter if he is a monster or not, anyone going through the windshield of a car is going to hurt badly. There is a small Hello Kitty purse on the ground but Dean doesn't question why it's there. He grabs it and finds pennies inside. He doesn't know if one of them is before 1982 but hopes there is.

Deputy Donnelly jumps back into the car and punches Dean hard in the jaw. He knocks into you, causing your hand to slip and more blood to come out. Your head is dizzy and your breathing becomes more ragged. Maybe this is for the best. Maybe I'm meant to die here.

Lily wakes up and joins in on the fight, and she wraps her arms around Dean's shoulders. She pulls him onto the front seat and gets a better grip so that her arms are now around his neck. Deputy Donnelly jumps out of the car and wretches the driver's door open so he can grab Dean's legs. Dean kicks him in the face and elbows Lily's jaw as hard as she can. She yelps out in pain and falls out of the car onto the hot asphalt.

Heal, Y/N. Heal yourself. Every time you think about using magic, your entire body gets flooded with fear. The magic that came from the Scarlet Witch is still inside of you. Your soul prevents it from coming out. You're scared of using it and turning back into her. The tears have stopped coming only because you're starting not to feel any pain which means you're closer to death than you realize.

You look to the right and see Billie standing on the side of the road just staring at you. She's waiting for you to die. If you die, she is bringing you to the Empty where nothing ever escapes. Dean punches Deputy Donnelly and pins him to the front seat where she shoves every penny he grabbed from the purse into his mouth. He keeps his hand over his mouth so the deputy doesn't spit them out even though he tries.

Dean yanks the deputy out of the car by his feet and slams the door repeatedly on his head, eventually decapitating him. He doesn't move a single inch once his head has been chopped off which means one of those pennies just so happened to be made before 1982. Dean opens the door and tosses the head onto the ground at the same time as Lily wakes up.

"Oh, baby, I'm sorry," he mutters to his car.

"Dean," you whimper.

"Y/N!" Dean rushes around to the other side of the car, the same side Lily is on. "Y/N, I know you're scared. I know you're terrified of using your magic but you need to heal yourself. Baby, you're gonna die if you don't."

"I can't," you cry. "I can't, I can't. I can't do it. Dean, I'm dying. Maybe this is for the best."

"No, you don't get to say that!" He curses. "Don't worry, we'll get you fixed."

"Oh, my God. What have I... My kids. My kids. They turned my kids. They're with the others. Please," Lily begs.

"Sam," Dean whispers.

"Dean, get to Sam. I'll be okay. It doesn't even hurt anymore."

"Hang on, Y/N. Don't you dare die on me."

Dean and Lily hop into the front seat, and Dean tries to start his car. After the damage she's sustained, she doesn't start right away. He tries two more times before she springs to life, and Dean rolls his head in relief. He reverses the car and swiftly turns the car like he's Mr. Fast and Furious. He's so smooth with it that you barely even move from your spot.

I can't do it. What kind of witch am I if I can't even heal myself? I'm broken.

Dean drives as fast as he can to the place where Lily's kids are being held, the ones that Deputy Donnelly had turned to create his army with. Lily runs to her children while Dean helps Sam who is also beaten up.

"We gotta go. Lily shot Y/N and she can't heal herself."

"What?"

Sam rushes to the car and sees the ghostly look on your face. You're slumped over with your eyes barely open and mouth parted. Dean opens the door and moves your hand which is nearly ice cold. He peels back your shirt and sees blood oozing from your wound. He reaches around and tries to feel for an exit wound but finds none. The bullet is still inside of you doing as much damage as it can.

"We need to get her to a hospital."

"No hospital," you mutter. "Castiel..."

"You won't survive the twenty hours it'll take to get home."

"I'll stay in the back with her. Just drive."

Dean peels away and races down the street to the nearest hospital. He all but slams on his brakes when he gets to the emergency room side, and Sam gently lifts you from the car seat and tries not to make your wound worse.

"Please help my wife! She's been shot!" Nurses immediately flock to Sam and Dean with a stretcher and medical supplies. They try to help the brothers but Dean swats her hand away. "We're fine. This is fake blood. We were in the middle of filming a video. We're fine. Just help her."

You're taken into emergency surgery to fix the bullet wound. You're lucky they took you in when they did because an hour later, you would have been dead. Your heart stopped once during surgery but they succeeded in bringing you back without additional complications. Sam and Dean did everything they could to convince the nurses that you were accidentally shot while they were filming because they'd hate for the police to be involved.

You're placed in the ICU to recover but there is no way Dean is going to keep you here, not when there is an angel waiting for you at home that can heal you. Dean doesn't know how Sam does it but you're discharged from the hospital hours later. You sleep the entire ride back home, only waking when you feel Dean's lips on your forehead.

"What happened?" you mutter.

"We'll talk later. Right now, we gotta get you to Cas."

Sam runs into the house for the angel while Dean helps you out of the car. Pain spreads from your side and tears roll down your cheeks. Maybe I deserve this after what I've done. Just let me die. Sam and Castiel walk into the garage minutes later, and Castiel approaches you with concern written all over his face. He places a hand on your shoulder and uses his powers to heal you.

Just like that, you're no longer in physical pain.

"How are you feeling?"

"Like you care," you snap.

You push your husband away and head into the house, and Dean stops the angel from following after you.

"Let her go. Just give her some space."

"Was it something I said?"

"No, she's having a hard time is all. This was a bad day for her."

You cry silently as you walk to your kids' rooms. Noah is already in his own bed but the girls are both snuggled in Joanna's bed. Molly is sitting on the edge of the bed telling them a bedtime story, and you pause right before you enter their room so they can't see you. I'm such a bad mother. I'm a bad witch. I'm a bad hunter. Why the hell am I still around?

No one wants a mother who is broken.

You sigh silently and leave them alone to go to your room. Maybe you'll feel better in the morning.

x

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[queen-of-deans-booty]

Baby: Part Three

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Female!Reader

Word Count: ~2.2k

Warnings: canon angst and violence, extra angst, feeling broken and utterly helpless to the point of depression, wanting to die, being shot

Summary: You're trying to prove to Sam and Dean that after two months of having your soul restored, you're all better. You'll gladly play the part if it means they don't worry about you. However, that facade is slowly being stripped away from you the longer you go without facing up to those feelings. You're not okay and you need to stop pretending like you are.

Season Eleven Masterlist

Author’s Note: I do not own anything from Supernatural. All credit goes to their respective owners. I love seeing any and all comments <3

x

You, Sam, and Dean have a calming and nice lunch before the valet returns with his car. Dean looks inside of it in suspicion but doesn't see anything out of order. Dean takes out the extra cash and tips her.

"Strong work, Jessie. Strong work."

"Thanks."

You three get inside the car and Dean pulls away.

"So, what's next?"

"I want to talk to the sheriff's widow, Lily Markham. Maybe she knows something about why her husband was out in the woods in the first place."

"I'll drop you off. Y/N and I will go back to the woods where they found the body. Something wasn't right about those crime scene photos."

After dropping Sam off, Dean heads into the woods and parks in a clearing next to some run-down cabins. He takes out the file containing the crime scene photos and studies them, and you take out your notebook having more you want to say.

I realized that as the Scarlet Witch, I unlocked new sides to my power. Sides that I could never access as the Sapphire Witch. I was able to pull spells from people's bodies, suck their power for myself. I was able to siphon their power to make myself stronger. As the Sapphire Witch, I know I can connect to people's minds and influence them to a degree. As the Scarlet Witch, I was able to take over their minds completely. No one was a match for me. I was too powerful. I've done things I'm not proud of and I have a lot of making up to do, but I'm writing this journal for one purpose only. If you ever see yourself in this situation, just know you're not alone. I felt alone. I feel alone. I don't want you going through it alone.

You pause and tap the end of your pen on the paper in thought. Dean's phone rings and he answers Castiel's call.

"Cas, are you okay?"

"I'm mostly confused. I'm not sure how orange correlates with black in a way that's new."

You snicker and look away from Dean to hide your smile.

"Step away from Netflix."

"Sorry."

"It's okay. We've all had a binge. Did you find anything in the lore?"

"I did find one that feeds on hearts and blood."

"A were-pyre, you might say? Come on, I know you wanna say it," Dean grins.

"In the lore, it's referred to as a 'Whisper'. Silver will kill it but you may want to decapitate it just to be sure."

"Alright, sounds good. Y/N and I are at the crime scene now. It looks staged. The body was dragged and there were no signs of struggle."

"The body was moved there to look more like an animal attack?"

"Yeah, maybe. It was pretty sloppy. What else can you find on these things?"

"Whispers have a fascinating history, actually."

"Hang on."

You look up and notice the Deputy parking a yard away from Dean. You stay seated while Dean gets out of the car to greet him.

"I'm here, Castiel. What is it?"

"They were once believed to be in the bloodline of werewolves but in fact, they are more similar to demons. They got their nickname from how quiet their attacks are. Because of their stealthiness, they've lived on the fringes for centuries. Although, there were several that were hunted and killed during the Salem Witch... Wait a minute. Okay, according to this, Whispers only feed during the solar eclipse. Y/N, I don't think you're hunting a Whisper."

You look up and see the deputy attack Dean from behind. You curse and leave Castiel on speakerphone while jumping out of the car. You rush at the two men who are wrestling for dominance. The deputy is attacking to kill and Dean is attacking to protect himself. You grab the deputy's collar, yank him off your husband, and toss him on the ground next to the car. He crashes into the open door which causes it to slam shut, and you can barely hear Castiel's voice of concern for the noise.

You take out your gun just as Dean does, and he walks over to the deputy. He grabs your husband and yanks him down, apparently not finished with his attack. You shoot the deputy twice in the chest and once more for good measure. The entire passenger side of Baby is covered with blood.

So much for that wash Dean gave her.

Dean steps over the body and slides back into the car while you stand beside the car.

"Dean? Y/N? Are you both alright? I hear gunshots. Dean! Y/N!"

"It turns out she did shoot the deputy," Dean chuckles.

"Wait, Dean, is everything--"

"The deputy was a were-pyre. It's alright. Silver bullets worked."

"No, Dean, listen. According to the lore, the timing is off. The next solar eclipse in North America is years away. It can't be a--"

Deputy Donnelly springs up and slaps his hand on the bloody window which causes you to scream in shock.

"Hang on," Dean groans.

Dean gets out of the car and goes around to the trunk where he pulls one of his machetes from it. You keep your gun trained on the deputy until Dean quickly slices his head right off. The head topples onto the front of the car and the body crumbles to the ground. You sigh and sit in the passenger seat while Dean leans against the car.

"Scratch that. You gotta cut off their--"

The Deputy's eyes spring open and he growls as if he's still alive. He bares his fangs and you stare right into his eyes. You grab the keys from Dean and put them in so you can turn the windshield wipers on. The head has no choice but to be swept off the car by the motion.

"Dean, it's not a Whisper."

"Yeah, we're starting to get that," you say. Dean points his gun at the body of the deputy and shoots him four more times. Maybe that will do the trick. You think it does until you hear him growling from the other side of the car. "This bitch won't die."

"Alright, that's it."

Dean grabs the empty cooler where the beers were and pours the water and ice onto the ground. He grips the deputy's hair and places him inside the box for safekeeping. He takes his phone, which is still connected to Castiel, and snaps a few photos of the man's fangs.

"Castiel, you still there?"

"Of course. What's going on?"

"Whatever it is, silver slows it down. I'm sending you a picture right now of its fangs. I've never seen anything like it. See if there's a match in the lore, would ya?"

"I'm on it."

Dean hangs up with Castiel and sends the photo to him. He sees there is a missed call from Sam and calls him back right away.

"Dean, I got jumped."

"You okay?"

"For now. I'm pretty sure we're dealing with a pack here. Two of these things were attacking Mrs. Markham when I arrived. I filled them with silver but it only slowed them down."

"Yeah, well, Deputy Dumbass is one of them as well. He's in two pieces and still alive. Where are you now?"

"Mrs. Markham was knocked out. I carried her to the house nearby. I'll text you the address now."

"Sit tight. We're on our way." Dean hangs up the phone. "Everybody's getting jumped."

Dean looks at you as he peels out of the wooded clearing. Mrs. Markham is still knocked out when Dean arrives, and Sam places her in the back with you. She has bruises and cuts on her face, and you wish more than anything that you can heal her of that.

"The door was open when I got to the house. By the time I searched through it, they'd already beaten her unconscious," Sam says.

"Maybe she knew something about what happened to her husband."

"You're saying they tried to take her out while the deputy went back to the scene?"

"Yeah, he went to fix it up and found Y/N and I."

Castiel calls Dean back and he places him on speakerphone.

"Hey, Cas, tell me you got something that doesn't involve chicks in prison."

"It's a Nachzehrer. A ghoul and a vampire-like creature."

"A ghoul-pyre! Right?" Dean grins.

When Sam doesn't react, he rolls his eyes and focuses on the road.

"Some breeds feed on the flesh of the dead. Others feed on the blood and hearts of the living. They run in small packs but they usually keep an extremely low profile."

"How do we kill them?"

"They're already dead. In a manner of speaking, they just need to be reminded that they're dead. You need a Charon's obol."

"Of course." Sam nods. "In ancient Greece, when a person died, some people believed you had to put an obol or a coin in their mouth so they could use it as currency to be taken across the river to the underworld."

"Right. Place a coin in a Nachzehrer's mouth then sever their head, and that will kill them. According to the lore, if you kill the pack's alpha, everyone they've turned will revert back to human form."

"Awesome. Where do we find an obol?"

"According to the Men of Letters' records, you're gonna need a copper coin. They used to use pennies, so you'll need one of those."

"Yeah, but one minted pre-1982. Before 1982, pennies were ninety-five percent copper. Since then, they're only copper-plated zinc," Sam explains.

"Wow. Your nerdiness knows no bounds."

"You're welcome," Sam says.

"Thanks, Cas. Way to come off the bench."

"What bench?"

"Just get back to getting better, okay?" Dean hangs up and Sam reaches into his pocket to see if he has any change, and if there are the pennies he needs if he does. "I got nothing."

"There's a shocker. Who carries pennies these days anyway?"

"Get gas. I can get change there."

Dean pulls up to a gas station and thankfully, the pump hides most of the blood from the public. There's not a lot of people around here anyway but you don't want to stick around when someone calls the police because a car is covered in blood. Sam heads inside the gas station while Dean gets out of the car to put gas in the car. Mrs. Markham gasps awake and looks around until her eyes land on you.

"Where am I?"

"My name is Y/N and he's my husband, Dean. His brother, Sam is inside the--"

"What happened? Where am I?"

"You were attacked by the same people that killed your husband."

"My husband..."

"Do you know something about what happened to him? Maybe that's why these people attacked you?" She doesn't say anything. "Okay. Well, we're gonna take you someplace safe, and then we're gonna kill these sons of bitches."

She looks to the right and sees the container with the head. She gets curious and opens it, only to scream when she sees the Deputy's head. You slam the container shut and chuckle nervously.

"I can explain that. It's a," you can't believe you're saying this, "ghoul-pyre. The point is, it can't hurt you anymore. At least I don't think it... You know what? Let's just get rid of it. Dean!" He opens the back door. "Put this in the trunk, okay?"

"Yeah," he nods, having heard her scream.

"Your family. You do anything for them, don't you?" she asks after a pause.

"Absolutely. No questions asked."

"Yes, you do everything for them. Everything else is meaningless. I did it wrong. Now I've ruined everything."

"This isn't your fault."

"I put my family at risk. They were right to attack me, but I know how to make it right."

Suddenly, Mrs. Markham leaps at you and wraps both hands around your throat. She starts squeezing tightly and you full-blown panic. You slap her hands as you try to fight her off but she won't budge. No matter how hard you try, you can't tap into your magic to fight her. You know if you could, you'd be able to overtake her easily. You reach up and scratch her face, anything to get her to loosen her grip. You dig your thumb into her eye and she screams just as she loosens enough for you to suck in a breath.

"DEAN!"

The back door is yanked open and Dean grabs the collar of the woman. He yanks her out of the car, and you cough violently as the pain spreads from your neck down to the rest of your body. Mrs. Markham punches Dean twice and slams him into the side of the car, and she reaches into his jacket when she sees his gun. She slams the butt of the gun into the side of his head and shoves him into the back seat with you. You gather enough strength to fight back but she points the gun at you and shoots.

Time slows down to a stop and for a moment, you're not sure what was shot if who. Pain explodes from your side and you look down to see blood pouring out from your body. You've been shot. She shot you. Sam hears the shot and looks out the window to see Mrs. Markham behind the wheel. She peels out of the gas station just as Sam runs out of the station with his gun in hand. He shoots the back window which shatters the glass but she is too fast for him

"Where is it?! What did you do with the maker's body?! You're gonna tell me or I will end you!" she screams and points the gun at you.

You look down to see Dean passed out from the blow to his head, and you lean your head back on the seat.

"Forrest where your husband was found," you cry in pain.

x

Want to be tagged? Follow my library blog @aqueenslibrary​​​​​​ where I reblog all my stories, so you can put notifications on there without the extra stuff :)

[queen-of-deans-booty]

Baby: Part Two

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Female!Reader

Word Count: ~2.6k

Warnings: canon angst and violence, extra angst, feeling broken and utterly helpless to the point of depression, wanting to die, being shot

Summary: You're trying to prove to Sam and Dean that after two months of having your soul restored, you're all better. You'll gladly play the part if it means they don't worry about you. However, that facade is slowly being stripped away from you the longer you go without facing up to those feelings. You're not okay and you need to stop pretending like you are.

Season Eleven Masterlist

Author’s Note: I do not own anything from Supernatural. All credit goes to their respective owners. I love seeing any and all comments <3

x

Dean pulls out of the parking lot and resumes the drive to Oregon, and you flip open the blank notebook and put your pen to the paper. Maybe in order to start to heal, you need to get out what's been bothering you. You have to do this for your kids. They'll become Sapphire Witches in the future, maybe only one of them might, but they're going to need something to fall back on when they find themselves in the same situation as you.

You pray to God that they never have to lose their souls but in the instance that it happens, they're gonna want to know what to do or how to get through it. There are plenty of books on the Sapphire Witch, even the journal that the previous Sapphire Witches had all written in. You'll write your own entries one day but right now, you have to focus on making a Scarlet Witch book.

You have to document what happened, what kind of magic you used, and how you felt so that future generations can look back on it and realize they're not alone.

Where do you even begin? From the beginning, I guess.

I am leaving this journal behind as a sort of... guide... for whoever needs to read it. I'm not even sure where to start. I don't remember much about my time as the Scarlet Witch, but I know the Mark of Cain helped me unlock that side of it. Does that mean I'll get that magic back if I ever become soulless again? I'm not sure. It's possible which means it's possible for you to gain these powers, hence this journal. The power I felt... It was like someone flipped a switch in my brain and dialed everything I felt to the maximum. It was evil. It was chaos. I could do things I can't do now. Well, maybe I can. I'm honestly afraid of using my magic in fear I'll tap into that side of me again. I craved power which is what you'll crave if you ever come across this side of you. I did anything I could in order to feed that monster inside of me, including hurting the people I love.

You take a break and look out the window before you start sobbing. Knowing how you feel is different than explaining it on paper for someone to read. It's going to be a long time before you're okay again but you have to get this down on paper before you refuse to do it. You tape the end of your pen rhythmically on the notebook as you think of what to say next.

"So, 'digging into the lore'? Is that what the kids are calling it these days?"

"Man, I needed that," Sam laughs.

"Look at that, you're finally not a virgin anymore," Dean grins. "You know what? I think it was time. I respect the fact that you know, wanted to stay true and pure and waited."

"You know what? You're an idiot," Sam scoffs.

"You even put a blanket down. Classy and thoughtful as always."

"I tried to give her my number. You know what she said?"

"We got tonight. Who needs tomorrow?"

"Is everything a Bob Seger song to you?"

"Yeah, well..." Dean looks at his brother who tries to hide a yawn. "You're tired. I'm still wired so I'm gonna pull over and get some gas. You hop in the back and get some Z's because you earned 'em. Proud of you, little brother." Dean pulls into the first gas station he sees and looks at you who is still staring out the window. "Hop up here, sweetheart."

You and Sam trade places, and you put your notebook away knowing you can't find the words to say. You don't want to rush this so you'll find some time to write later. You lean your head on the window and close your eyes. Maybe you'll get some sleep if you allow yourself to relax.

You gasp awake when you hear the sound of a train blaring its horn. You're still up front with Dean who has a book open on his lap. Sam jerks and looks around, having been shocked awake from the train as well. Dean is parked on the side of the road since there isn't a motel around for miles, and he doesn't want to drive anymore.

"Welcome to the Winchester Motel. We don't have cable, but we do have room service." Dean takes a beer from the cooler that's sitting on the floorboard by you and tosses it to Sam. "You were singing in your sleep. You know, that song Mom loved that Dad used to always play for us. I think I've actually still got the tape."

"Hey, Dean, when you and Y/N saw the Darkness, you weren't sure if it was the real thing or a vision, right?"

"It was real to me," you whisper.

"I think I've been having visions, too, lately. It's just images. I mean, more of a... feeling, really. I just had one right now, and Dad was in it, but it wasn't Dad like... like the Dad that I grew up with. It was Dad when he was our age. I guess it wasn't even really Dad. It was someone pretending to be Dad and--"

"Okay, what makes you say that?" Dean cuts his brother off from rambling.

"For starters, he told me everything I wanted to hear from him."

"Yeah, that doesn't sound like Dad."

"No. Anyways, whoever it was, they had a message to deliver. They said the Darkness is coming, and only we can stop it."

"Did they have him give you any helpful tips on how to do that?"

"He said, 'God helps those who help themselves.' I mean, maybe these visions are coming from God."

"Are you serious?" you ask.

"The first one happened after I prayed."

"You prayed? When was this?"

"Back with Jenna and Amara. After I got the phone call that Y/N was gone." You look down, remembering how you wanted to end your life. I still do. "I was worried."

"What did you pray about?"

"I guess I was just looking for answers, you know?"

"Well, I'm sure whatever is kicking around in your head right now is a side effect of being in close proximity to Amara."

"I don't think it's that simple."

"Come on, man. That quote? 'God helps those who help themselves'? God didn't say that. That's not even in the Bible. That's an old proverb that dates way back to Aesop." You and Sam look at Dean like he grew two heads. "What? I read. More importantly, when was the last time God answered any one of our prayers? It's not a vision, Sam. It's just some fever dream. That's all. As far as Dad goes, I dream about Dad all the time."

"You do?"

"Of course, I do. It's usually the same one, too." Dean looks down as he speaks, unable to look at anyone in the eyes when he says this. "We're all in the car. I'm sitting in the driver's seat and Dad is sitting shotgun. There aren't any shotguns. There are no monsters. There's no hunting. There's none of that. It's just... He's teaching me how to drive, and I'm not little like I was when he actually taught me how to drive. I'm sixteen, and he's helping me get my learner's permit. Of course, you two are in the backseat, just begging to take a turn. We pull up to the house--the family house--and I park in the driveway. He looks over and says, 'Perfect landing, son.' I have that dream every couple of months. Kind of comforting, actually."

"I always dream about mom. Usually the same kind of thing, though."

"Normal life?"

"Yeah. Normal life. Mean, I know we have a family and kids which is what we dream about, but there is no hunting."

"Yeah, I get it."

"Dean, this wasn't just a dream. I'm telling you."

"Why would somebody dress up like Dad to give you a message? I mean, it's Dad. You don't exactly have a history of listening to what he had to say."

"You two said the Darkness is sending messages to you. Y/N, is this any different than her messages to you? Maybe whatever is the opposite of the Darkness is sending messages to me."

"You think that's God?" you ask. "He's not exactly a team player at the moment."

"Okay, maybe it's not God, but--"

"Look, I know what you're trying to do here. You're trying to find some greater meaning to it all. Right? Some explanation as to what went down. I'm telling you, Sam. The Darkness? It's on us. No one's gonna help us, certainly not God, so we'll have to figure this thing out like we always do. Until then, we hunt."

"Goodnight, jerk," Sam scoffs.

"Night, bitch."

It's lights out now, so you and Dean shift so that he's lying on the seat with you on top of him. You rest your head above his heart while he rubs your back softly to calm your racing heart. You lift your head enough to catch his eyes.

"Dean, I..."

The words are lodged in your throat.

"I know, sweetheart. I do, too," he whispers.

You lean up and kiss him emotionally before putting your head back down on his chest. You don't have any nightmares and you think it's because you're in your husband's arms. 

When you wake up the next morning, Dean finishes the drive to Oregon and drops Sam off at the Sheriff's station while you and Dean head to the ME's office to look at the body. After getting what he needs, you two head back to the station and wait for Sam to be done. You're sitting in the front with your head leaning on the window just watching the wind blow the leaves on the ground. Dean reaches over and tucks a strand of hair behind your ear, and you turn your head to look at him.

"How are you doing?"

"Okay, I guess."

"I want you to be honest with me about how you're feeling. I'm your husband."

"I wish I wasn't here. I know that's not fair of me to say but it's true. I should have let Death put me on another planet when I had the chance."

"I promised you that I would bring you back and I did. I took care of you while you were stuck inside my head. Now, I promise you that I will get you back to how you were before. No matter how long it takes." You scoot closer to him and put your forehead on his. He drops his voice to a whisper. "I promise you'll feel okay one day."

"I love you so much."

"I love you so much."

You two share a slow and intimate kiss. Everything else melts away so that it's only you and Dean in this moment. You pull away just as Sam walks out of the Sheriff's station and just like that, everything comes back into focus.

"Hey, the coroner showed me the sheriff's body. It was mauled all right. Get this, his heart was missing and his was body completely drained of blood."

"So, what? Are we looking for a werewolf/vampire hybrid?"

"Say it with me. A Were-pyre. Huh?" Dean asks with a grin.

"No."

"Come on."

"I'm not saying that," Sam snips.

"Whatever. I called Cas and told him to look into the lore. What do you got?"

"The Sheriff's replacement, Deputy Donnelly, is not the brightest bulb. I got a copy of his report, through. Maybe he missed something."

Speaking of, the Deputy walks to the window and kneels down right where Dean is sitting.

"Agents."

"Deputy."

"They must be your partners. Agent Walsh and Richards, right?" He looks from Sam to you to Dean. "Pleasure to meet you. I just want to thank you three for stopping by. We really appreciate your due diligence."

"Actually, do you know a motel where we can crash for the night?"

"You're staying?"

"Yeah, we want to be thorough."

"Well, there's a motel on Downey that'll give you a good price. If you're looking for a decent meal, you can't beat Aunt Mel's down by the train station. Parking is a bitch but it's the best damn steak in the whole state."

"You had me at 'steak'," Dean grins.

Dean drives to Aunt Mel's and grumbles in annoyance when he sees the valet parking service. He doesn't see a way out of it so he's forced to use their service. Sam looks over at his brother who refuses to hand his keys over to the very young woman.

"Dean, people valet park all the time. Come on, live a little."

Dean gets out of the car and hands the woman his keys but not without a warning.

"Yeah, listen, uh," he looks at her nametag, "Jessie, not a scratch, okay?"

You three head inside and Sam gets a table in the back, and you pull your phone out of your pocket to call Molly.

"Hey, how's the hunt going?" she answers.

"Oh, uh, okay. How are the kids?"

"The girls are angels. It's Noah I'm still having trouble with. Don't worry, I've dealt with this kind of thing before. I always leave a family with everyone loving me."

"Is he there with you?"

"Yeah."

"Put him on, please." There is a shuffle on the other end before Noah comes on the line. You step off to the side to speak privately while the brothers order food. "Noah, why are you giving Molly a hard time?"

"I want to be out there with you hunting."

"Noah... I know you want to come out with us but getting an education and being a kid is more important. You'll have your entire life to hunt but you can only be a kid once. Trust me, as someone whose childhood was stolen, being a kid is so much more important."

"Yeah, I guess," he sighs.

"Okay, look, why don't I make a deal with you? If you continue to go to school and not give Molly a hard time, I'll take you out and practice hunting with you. I'll teach you how to use all sorts of weapons and give you some training. Deal?"

"Yeah, we can do that."

"Okay, I gotta go but I love you."

"I love you, too."

x

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[queen-of-deans-booty]

Baby: Part One

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Female!Reader

Word Count: ~2.6k

Warnings: canon angst and violence, extra angst, feeling broken and utterly helpless to the point of depression, wanting to die, being shot

Summary: You're trying to prove to Sam and Dean that after two months of having your soul restored, you're all better. You'll gladly play the part if it means they don't worry about you. However, that facade is slowly being stripped away from you the longer you go without facing up to those feelings. You're not okay and you need to stop pretending like you are.

Season Eleven Masterlist

Author’s Note: I do not own anything from Supernatural. All credit goes to their respective owners. I love seeing any and all comments <3

x

It's been a month since Molly has been living at the Bunker with your family. You wanted to give the kids a chance to get to know her before school starts. It's been going about as well as you expected it to go. Joanna absolutely loves her, Maryann is a bit cautious, and Noah makes it clear he doesn't like her. Molly is doing her best to help with chores and taking care of the dogs as well as getting used to the kids.

She's been dedicating all of her time being with the kids, taking them out to the park, and allowing them room to get used to her. You don't want her to feel suffocated here so you help where you can to give her a break so she spends her time in the library reading about anything and everything. Her knowledge of the hunting life wasn't that big but now she has an entire library full of lore to fall back on.

If she's going to be taking care of Winchester children, she has to know what's out there. She's a good hunter but there is always room for improvement.

You're in the kitchen making the kids lunch while Molly helps the girls get ready for school. Noah is the first one in the kitchen and the first one to grab his lunch.

"Can you at least pretend you like Molly?"

"I don't know why she's even here. I don't need a babysitter. I'm almost thirteen."

"She's not a babysitter." You sigh and lean against the kitchen island. "I've done things I'm not proud of, Noah, and I need to know that when your dad, uncle, and I are gone from this Bunker, you're safe. Just you being a Winchester has enough of a target on your back. I need someone here to look after you not because I don't trust you but because I love you. I think you're old enough to go to school on your own but your sisters aren't. What if something happens to you on the way to school? What will you do? You're not prepared but Molly is."

"How long is she going to be here?"

"I don't know. Right now, I need all the help I can get."

"Guess."

"At least a year. Maybe more. Work with her, Noah. All I ask is that you try. Can you do that for me, please?"

"Alright," Noah sighs.

"Thank you."

You pull Noah in for a hug he acts like he doesn't want but you see the smile on his face. You kiss the top of his head just as Molly and your daughters walk in. You give the lunches to Molly who packs them inside their backpacks.

"Thanks for doing this, Molly."

"It's no problem, really."

She leaves with the kids to bring them to their first day of school. Noah is starting the 7th grade, Joanna is starting Kindergarten, and Maryann is in preschool. You can't wait for them to get home so you can hear all about their day. This past month has been especially hard for you because you're in a constant battle between yourself and wanting to give your kids the love they deserve.

You're not fully back yet and you're not sure when you will be. You have to take it day by day and see how you feel but you can already tell this isn't going to be a good one. As soon as the kids are gone, the tears come. You put your hand to your mouth to silence your sobs but two manage to escape.

No, we're not doing this today. A month with your soul restored isn't enough time to get over just how bad you were... how many people you've killed. I need Dean. He makes everything better even if he's just standing there. He and Sam decided to forgive you for what you did but you know you have a long road ahead of you of making it up to them. Thank God your kids don't know what you did otherwise you'd have killed yourself for sure.

You wipe the tears from your face and go find your husband who is inside the garage washing his precious car... again. His back is turned to you as he leans over the trunk to wash the back window. You want to help him. You want to be able to go over to him and offer to help but you feel frozen in your stance. How can you ever go back to doing normal shit when you feel so far from normal?

Someone walks up behind you and you turn to see Sam there. You mutter a quick apology and move out of his way. He decides to give you some space and walks over to his brother who just now notices you two.

"Hey. Did you find anything?"

"On the Darkness? No."

"What about Metatron?"

"No."

"Great. So, we have an ancient evil out there somewhere just getting stronger by the day."

"Cas is getting better so there's that. He still needs more time to heal, though."

Sam grabs a sponge and helps his brother wash the car while you stay by the door and watch them.

"I guess we got nothing to do but get better. Speaking of, you doing alright, sweetheart?"

Both brothers look at you and you blush out of embarrassment.

"Fine."

Dean hums but goes back to what he was doing. He doesn't believe you but that's a conversation to be had in the privacy of your own bedroom instead of in front of Sam.

"I don't know about you two, but I've got some serious cabin fever. I've washed every car in here twice."

"I may have found us a case in Oregon. I mean, it's thin but--"

"Thin works. Tell me on the way."

While the brothers dry the soap and water off the car, you take your phone out and text Molly your plans.

You: Hey, the boys and I are going to Oregon for a case. We should be back by the end of the week.

Molly: Go. I got this.

You really don't deserve her and you barely even know her. You're not sure where you're at but when it starts raining, Dean scoffs knowing he just washed his car. You're sitting in the back seat with your head resting on the window watching the drops of water race down the window.

"Alright, let's hear it. What are we getting into?"

"There's a town outside of Eugene, Oregon called Quaker Valley. Dwayne Markham, the local sheriff, was found in the woods a couple of days ago. His body was mauled so they chalked it up to an animal attack, but I'm thinking it could be a werewolf."

"You're right. That is thin."

"Probably nothing, right?"

"Probably not. Oregon, here we come."

Sam's phone rings and he answers Castiel's call. He places him on speakerphone and you pull your eyes away from the window to look at the phone as if Castiel is standing right there.

"Hey, Cas. Everything alright?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. I was just reading up about the other cases in the area that you're headed to. I haven't found anything yet that matches."

"Cas, you've got one job to do and that's to heal."

"I can help, Dean."

"Yeah, I know but now is the time for you to focus on getting better. This is just a milk run. We got it. So, try and relax."

"Alright."

"Read a book and watch some Netflix."

"What's a 'Netflix'?"

"Go to my room and turn on the TV. It's the red and black icon. You'll figure it out."

"Call me if you need anything."

"Got it. Thanks, Cas." Sam hangs up. "Do you think he's gonna be okay?"

"Yeah. He just needs some time, you know? We all do."

I don't think time will fix me. Dean doesn't want to drive all the way to Oregon in one trip so he stops somewhere in Salt Lake City to get some rest for the night. He pulls up in front of a sketchy-looking bar called The Roadhouse, and all you can think about is getting a room and crying yourself to sleep.

"Are you serious, Dean? It's late. I'm exhausted and starving. This place... I mean, even Swayze wouldn't come to this roadhouse."

"Okay, first of all, never use Swayze's name in vain. Okay? Ever. Second, you don't remember this place? You don't remember the hunt we worked on with the Wendigo a couple of years ago?"

"Oh, yeah."

"Look, we have a lot of driving to do just to go to a town where there's probably not a case. We could make this night a good one if we let it. What do you say? Sweetheart?"

"I don't care," you sigh and look down.

"I say, knock yourself out. I'm gonna find a diner, dig into the lore like Cas did, and see if anything has ever happened where we're headed."

"Oh, man, you really gotta learn to have fun. Seriously, it's pathetic. Come on, sweetheart. Let's go."

You and Dean separate from Sam once you all get out of the car. Just let me cry in peace. Dean has to drag you into the lively bar, and you take out your phone to message Molly.

You: How was the kids' first day of school?

Molly: It went as expected. It was a good first day and now they're in their beds sleeping.

Dean reaches over and takes your phone from you before you have a chance to message Molly back. You and Dean sit at the bar, both of you wearing different faces. The bartender looks at you and decides your poison will be the strongest drink they have, but you don't touch it.

"Just give me one night where you block everything out, okay?"

"I can't, Dean," you sigh.

"What's it going to take for you to be okay?"

You snap your head up and glare at Dean who is taken aback by your sudden change in attitude.

"This isn't some depressive episode, Dean. For an entire year, I spent life soulless. For an entire year, I... hurt people... killed people with my magic. My magic that is supposed to be used to heal people. That doesn't go away after two months."

"Yeah, I know--"

"No, you don't know. You want to know but you don't, and I don't expect you to. Just stop pretending like everything is fine when it's not."

You get up and walk to the bathroom without another word. Dean sighs and looks at his phone thoughtfully. He's debating on calling Sam but decides against it. He wants to be there for you but he doesn't know how if he can't understand. Maybe he should call the new Death and make him put a wall in your head. After taking a moment or two to yourself, you walk back out of the bathroom and over to Dean.

"Enjoy your time here, Dean. I'm getting a motel for the night. I'm tired."

"Y/N--"

"Goodnight, Dean."

You leave your phone with him and leave the bar. There is a motel right across the street from the bar so that's where you walk over to. There are a lot of rooms available but you don't care which one you get. You just need to get inside a room before you break down crying. You pay for the night and leave with the key in hand. You don't bother locking the door because as soon as you close the door, you're already in tears.

You sit on the edge of the bed and look down at your hands. Hands that have killed. They glow softly with blue magic but seeing that magic brings such a heavy weight to your heart. It hurts to see your magic. It's like someone has stabbed you in the heart and left a dull knife inside of you. It hurts to breathe. It hurts to think. It hurts to live. I hurt all over and Dean doesn't even know. You put your head in your hands and sob. Your wails are loud enough that you're sure the neighbors on either side of you can hear you.

You jump when you feel a hand touch your shoulder but you don't look at who it is. You already know who it is. Dean pulls you into his arms and lets you sob into his chest. He is here for you through your worst and will do anything to take care of you no matter what that entails. Seeing you this way is worse than seeing you without a soul. He knows you're hurting and he can't do anything to make it better. At least with before, he knew the real you was stuck inside his head. He knew he could fix that.

He doesn't know how to fix this.

As soon as the sun starts shining through the window, you and Dean are already heading back to the Impala. You don't know if you can talk about what happened and Dean doesn't force you to. What he did last night helped only because it was he who was holding you. He stayed up well past after you fell asleep just to listen to you breathe. He prayed that you'd make it out okay for whatever it's worth.

You stop short when you see Sam naked in the back seat with a blonde woman on top of him. You gasp loud enough to wake her up, and she looks around frantically.

"Who are you two?" she asks.

"Sam!"

"Ah, what?" He opens his eyes and looks at you and Dean sheepishly. "This is my brother, Dean, and his wife, Y/N."

You immediately look away when she shifts enough to reveal Sam's cock. You know what it looks like but you don't want to violate him like that.

"Sorry, Sam, I didn't realize you had company," Dean chuckles.

"Yeah, uh, could you give us a minute?"

"Yeah."

Dean takes your hand and heads to the diner that's in the same complex as the bar. You two take a table by the window with a clear shot of the Impala, and Dean orders for you two. You look away from the car with a sigh, and Dean slides your phone across the table toward you.

"I charged it for you."

"Thanks," you whisper.

After getting some food in your stomach, you see the woman Sam was with walk into the diner wearing a uniform. Son of a bitch works here. Dean pays for the bill and you two walk back out to the car where Sam is now in the front seat. He is buttoning up his shirt but you don't immediately get in the back. You open the trunk and grab some baby wipes from the baby bag you have stashed back here. You notice your own bag and ruffle through it until you find what you're looking for. You close the trunk and start wiping the back seat with the baby wipes.

"I put a blanket down," Sam huffs out.

"My kids sit back here, Sam. I don't need them contracting a disease because you couldn't keep it in your pants."

Once you deem it safe to sit back there, you climb into the car and clutch the notebook you grabbed from your bag to your chest. Dean grabs a cassette tape from the glove compartment and shoves it into the player.

"Dean, I can explain what was going on--"

"No, no, no. No need."

Bob Seger's "Night Moves" starts playing and Sam scoffs at the silent message Dean is trying to tell him.

"Don't 'Night Moves' me."

"Shh. Just let it wash over you. Just take it in," he smirks.

"This is ridiculous."

"He's one of the greatest rock writers of all time, Samuel."

He rolls his eyes. "It's Sam."

x

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[queen-of-deans-booty]

Baby: Final Part

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Female!Reader

Word Count: ~2.2k

Warnings: canon angst and violence, extra angst, feeling broken and utterly helpless to the point of depression, wanting to die, being shot

Summary: You're trying to prove to Sam and Dean that after two months of having your soul restored, you're all better. You'll gladly play the part if it means they don't worry about you. However, that facade is slowly being stripped away from you the longer you go without facing up to those feelings. You're not okay and you need to stop pretending like you are.

Season Eleven Masterlist

Author’s Note: I do not own anything from Supernatural. All credit goes to their respective owners. I love seeing any and all comments <3

x

She makes a sharp turn into the woods and drives over a few loose rocks, jerking you in your seat. More blood spills out from the wound, and you press your hand to it as hard as you can. She parks the car, gets out, and yanks the back door open. She grabs Dean's hand and handcuffs them behind his back before looking at you. There is no way you're going to end up fighting her when you're fighting for your own life. She grabs the head from the trunk and walks over to the deputy's body. You turn your head to see her fixing him. She is reattaching his head to his body.

"Dean, wake up," you groan.

"Y/N?" Dean groans.

"She shot me, Dean. I can't..."

Dean lifts his head as best as he can to see blood spill out between your fingers.

"Y/N, heal yourself. You can do this. Focus on healing yourself."

"I can't," you cry. "I can't do it."

Mrs. Markham and Deputy Donnelly pile into the car with the deputy behind the wheel and Mrs. Markham in the passenger seat. As he is driving, he keeps looking back at you and Dean curiously. You're trying not to bleed out and Dean is trying to think of a way out of this with both your lives.

"I know you two are hunters," he sneers.

He reaches behind him and pulls Dean up so he's sitting instead of lying on the seat face down.

"I know you're a Nachzehrer. The maker, right? The pack Alpha?"

"Maybe you're not as dumb as you look."

"Thought you and yours like to keep a low profile."

"Sadly, rookies like Lily here aren't up to snuff when it comes to keeping their feeding quiet," he glares at Mrs. Markham.

"You killed your husband?" Dean asks.

He looks at you who is just trying to hold it together. The bullet didn't hit anything major, you don't think, but if you don't get medical help soon, you're gonna die.

"He wouldn't join us. People who don't join are food. I messed up, and I didn't bury him right."

"It's my fault, really. You weren't properly trained, but everyone deserves a mulligan, don't they? That's all my people were trying to do, Lily. They weren't going to kill you. Hell, I need you. I need all the help I can get."

"How many have you turned?"

Dean spots a hairpin on the seat from Sam's joyous hookup and tries to use it to free himself from his cuffs. He continues to look at you to make sure you're awake as he works.

"In the first hundred years? Three. In the last month? Sixteen."

"What, are you trying to field a baseball team?"

"It's like I said, I need help, every strong hand I can find. I need an army to fight the Darkness." Dean's face falls at the mention of Amara. "Oh, it's coming for all of us. There's nothing hunters or any human can do about it."

"Do you know how to stop it?"

"I don't think anything can stop it. I'm just trying to buy some time so I'm turning as many strong men and women as I can. Your brother will make a fine addition to the rank and file." He holds Dean's phone up. "I had Lily send him a text message from your phone. Oh, he's heading into a trap right now. You'd make a good soldier, too, but you cut off my head and I can't stand for that. Don't worry. I'm an every part of the buffalo kind of guy. Your death won't go to waste. You'll be your brother's first meal."

"What about me?" you bite out painfully.

"You're already wounded. No point in trying to save you. You'll be my meal," he grins with his fangs out.

Dean gets the cuffs off and attacks the deputy from behind. Dean wraps his arms around his neck and tries to choke him out, causing the car to swerve and crash into a construction zone. The crash is enough to jerk you around hard enough to knock you out. When you come to, every single window is shattered, the deputy is through the windshield, Mrs. Markham is lying on the floorboard in the front, and Dean is slumped over the back of the front seat. You moan painfully and look at Dean who is just now waking up.

Dean sits up and rubs his head as he takes in his surroundings. Your cry of pain is what jerks him into focus, and he slides closer to you. You're pale and shaky and still bleeding over your fingers.

"Y/N, you need to heal yourself."

"I can't. I can't do it, Dean," you cry.

The deputy stands up and glares at Dean through the shattered windshield. There is a huge piece of glass stuck in his cheek and blood everywhere but he is weakened. It doesn't matter if he is a monster or not, anyone going through the windshield of a car is going to hurt badly. There is a small Hello Kitty purse on the ground but Dean doesn't question why it's there. He grabs it and finds pennies inside. He doesn't know if one of them is before 1982 but hopes there is.

Deputy Donnelly jumps back into the car and punches Dean hard in the jaw. He knocks into you, causing your hand to slip and more blood to come out. Your head is dizzy and your breathing becomes more ragged. Maybe this is for the best. Maybe I'm meant to die here.

Lily wakes up and joins in on the fight, and she wraps her arms around Dean's shoulders. She pulls him onto the front seat and gets a better grip so that her arms are now around his neck. Deputy Donnelly jumps out of the car and wretches the driver's door open so he can grab Dean's legs. Dean kicks him in the face and elbows Lily's jaw as hard as she can. She yelps out in pain and falls out of the car onto the hot asphalt.

Heal, Y/N. Heal yourself. Every time you think about using magic, your entire body gets flooded with fear. The magic that came from the Scarlet Witch is still inside of you. Your soul prevents it from coming out. You're scared of using it and turning back into her. The tears have stopped coming only because you're starting not to feel any pain which means you're closer to death than you realize.

You look to the right and see Billie standing on the side of the road just staring at you. She's waiting for you to die. If you die, she is bringing you to the Empty where nothing ever escapes. Dean punches Deputy Donnelly and pins him to the front seat where she shoves every penny he grabbed from the purse into his mouth. He keeps his hand over his mouth so the deputy doesn't spit them out even though he tries.

Dean yanks the deputy out of the car by his feet and slams the door repeatedly on his head, eventually decapitating him. He doesn't move a single inch once his head has been chopped off which means one of those pennies just so happened to be made before 1982. Dean opens the door and tosses the head onto the ground at the same time as Lily wakes up.

"Oh, baby, I'm sorry," he mutters to his car.

"Dean," you whimper.

"Y/N!" Dean rushes around to the other side of the car, the same side Lily is on. "Y/N, I know you're scared. I know you're terrified of using your magic but you need to heal yourself. Baby, you're gonna die if you don't."

"I can't," you cry. "I can't, I can't. I can't do it. Dean, I'm dying. Maybe this is for the best."

"No, you don't get to say that!" He curses. "Don't worry, we'll get you fixed."

"Oh, my God. What have I... My kids. My kids. They turned my kids. They're with the others. Please," Lily begs.

"Sam," Dean whispers.

"Dean, get to Sam. I'll be okay. It doesn't even hurt anymore."

"Hang on, Y/N. Don't you dare die on me."

Dean and Lily hop into the front seat, and Dean tries to start his car. After the damage she's sustained, she doesn't start right away. He tries two more times before she springs to life, and Dean rolls his head in relief. He reverses the car and swiftly turns the car like he's Mr. Fast and Furious. He's so smooth with it that you barely even move from your spot.

I can't do it. What kind of witch am I if I can't even heal myself? I'm broken.

Dean drives as fast as he can to the place where Lily's kids are being held, the ones that Deputy Donnelly had turned to create his army with. Lily runs to her children while Dean helps Sam who is also beaten up.

"We gotta go. Lily shot Y/N and she can't heal herself."

"What?"

Sam rushes to the car and sees the ghostly look on your face. You're slumped over with your eyes barely open and mouth parted. Dean opens the door and moves your hand which is nearly ice cold. He peels back your shirt and sees blood oozing from your wound. He reaches around and tries to feel for an exit wound but finds none. The bullet is still inside of you doing as much damage as it can.

"We need to get her to a hospital."

"No hospital," you mutter. "Castiel..."

"You won't survive the twenty hours it'll take to get home."

"I'll stay in the back with her. Just drive."

Dean peels away and races down the street to the nearest hospital. He all but slams on his brakes when he gets to the emergency room side, and Sam gently lifts you from the car seat and tries not to make your wound worse.

"Please help my wife! She's been shot!" Nurses immediately flock to Sam and Dean with a stretcher and medical supplies. They try to help the brothers but Dean swats her hand away. "We're fine. This is fake blood. We were in the middle of filming a video. We're fine. Just help her."

You're taken into emergency surgery to fix the bullet wound. You're lucky they took you in when they did because an hour later, you would have been dead. Your heart stopped once during surgery but they succeeded in bringing you back without additional complications. Sam and Dean did everything they could to convince the nurses that you were accidentally shot while they were filming because they'd hate for the police to be involved.

You're placed in the ICU to recover but there is no way Dean is going to keep you here, not when there is an angel waiting for you at home that can heal you. Dean doesn't know how Sam does it but you're discharged from the hospital hours later. You sleep the entire ride back home, only waking when you feel Dean's lips on your forehead.

"What happened?" you mutter.

"We'll talk later. Right now, we gotta get you to Cas."

Sam runs into the house for the angel while Dean helps you out of the car. Pain spreads from your side and tears roll down your cheeks. Maybe I deserve this after what I've done. Just let me die. Sam and Castiel walk into the garage minutes later, and Castiel approaches you with concern written all over his face. He places a hand on your shoulder and uses his powers to heal you.

Just like that, you're no longer in physical pain.

"How are you feeling?"

"Like you care," you snap.

You push your husband away and head into the house, and Dean stops the angel from following after you.

"Let her go. Just give her some space."

"Was it something I said?"

"No, she's having a hard time is all. This was a bad day for her."

You cry silently as you walk to your kids' rooms. Noah is already in his own bed but the girls are both snuggled in Joanna's bed. Molly is sitting on the edge of the bed telling them a bedtime story, and you pause right before you enter their room so they can't see you. I'm such a bad mother. I'm a bad witch. I'm a bad hunter. Why the hell am I still around?

No one wants a mother who is broken.

You sigh silently and leave them alone to go to your room. Maybe you'll feel better in the morning.

x

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[queen-of-deans-booty]

Baby: Part Three

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Female!Reader

Word Count: ~2.2k

Warnings: canon angst and violence, extra angst, feeling broken and utterly helpless to the point of depression, wanting to die, being shot

Summary: You're trying to prove to Sam and Dean that after two months of having your soul restored, you're all better. You'll gladly play the part if it means they don't worry about you. However, that facade is slowly being stripped away from you the longer you go without facing up to those feelings. You're not okay and you need to stop pretending like you are.

Season Eleven Masterlist

Author’s Note: I do not own anything from Supernatural. All credit goes to their respective owners. I love seeing any and all comments <3

x

You, Sam, and Dean have a calming and nice lunch before the valet returns with his car. Dean looks inside of it in suspicion but doesn't see anything out of order. Dean takes out the extra cash and tips her.

"Strong work, Jessie. Strong work."

"Thanks."

You three get inside the car and Dean pulls away.

"So, what's next?"

"I want to talk to the sheriff's widow, Lily Markham. Maybe she knows something about why her husband was out in the woods in the first place."

"I'll drop you off. Y/N and I will go back to the woods where they found the body. Something wasn't right about those crime scene photos."

After dropping Sam off, Dean heads into the woods and parks in a clearing next to some run-down cabins. He takes out the file containing the crime scene photos and studies them, and you take out your notebook having more you want to say.

I realized that as the Scarlet Witch, I unlocked new sides to my power. Sides that I could never access as the Sapphire Witch. I was able to pull spells from people's bodies, suck their power for myself. I was able to siphon their power to make myself stronger. As the Sapphire Witch, I know I can connect to people's minds and influence them to a degree. As the Scarlet Witch, I was able to take over their minds completely. No one was a match for me. I was too powerful. I've done things I'm not proud of and I have a lot of making up to do, but I'm writing this journal for one purpose only. If you ever see yourself in this situation, just know you're not alone. I felt alone. I feel alone. I don't want you going through it alone.

You pause and tap the end of your pen on the paper in thought. Dean's phone rings and he answers Castiel's call.

"Cas, are you okay?"

"I'm mostly confused. I'm not sure how orange correlates with black in a way that's new."

You snicker and look away from Dean to hide your smile.

"Step away from Netflix."

"Sorry."

"It's okay. We've all had a binge. Did you find anything in the lore?"

"I did find one that feeds on hearts and blood."

"A were-pyre, you might say? Come on, I know you wanna say it," Dean grins.

"In the lore, it's referred to as a 'Whisper'. Silver will kill it but you may want to decapitate it just to be sure."

"Alright, sounds good. Y/N and I are at the crime scene now. It looks staged. The body was dragged and there were no signs of struggle."

"The body was moved there to look more like an animal attack?"

"Yeah, maybe. It was pretty sloppy. What else can you find on these things?"

"Whispers have a fascinating history, actually."

"Hang on."

You look up and notice the Deputy parking a yard away from Dean. You stay seated while Dean gets out of the car to greet him.

"I'm here, Castiel. What is it?"

"They were once believed to be in the bloodline of werewolves but in fact, they are more similar to demons. They got their nickname from how quiet their attacks are. Because of their stealthiness, they've lived on the fringes for centuries. Although, there were several that were hunted and killed during the Salem Witch... Wait a minute. Okay, according to this, Whispers only feed during the solar eclipse. Y/N, I don't think you're hunting a Whisper."

You look up and see the deputy attack Dean from behind. You curse and leave Castiel on speakerphone while jumping out of the car. You rush at the two men who are wrestling for dominance. The deputy is attacking to kill and Dean is attacking to protect himself. You grab the deputy's collar, yank him off your husband, and toss him on the ground next to the car. He crashes into the open door which causes it to slam shut, and you can barely hear Castiel's voice of concern for the noise.

You take out your gun just as Dean does, and he walks over to the deputy. He grabs your husband and yanks him down, apparently not finished with his attack. You shoot the deputy twice in the chest and once more for good measure. The entire passenger side of Baby is covered with blood.

So much for that wash Dean gave her.

Dean steps over the body and slides back into the car while you stand beside the car.

"Dean? Y/N? Are you both alright? I hear gunshots. Dean! Y/N!"

"It turns out she did shoot the deputy," Dean chuckles.

"Wait, Dean, is everything--"

"The deputy was a were-pyre. It's alright. Silver bullets worked."

"No, Dean, listen. According to the lore, the timing is off. The next solar eclipse in North America is years away. It can't be a--"

Deputy Donnelly springs up and slaps his hand on the bloody window which causes you to scream in shock.

"Hang on," Dean groans.

Dean gets out of the car and goes around to the trunk where he pulls one of his machetes from it. You keep your gun trained on the deputy until Dean quickly slices his head right off. The head topples onto the front of the car and the body crumbles to the ground. You sigh and sit in the passenger seat while Dean leans against the car.

"Scratch that. You gotta cut off their--"

The Deputy's eyes spring open and he growls as if he's still alive. He bares his fangs and you stare right into his eyes. You grab the keys from Dean and put them in so you can turn the windshield wipers on. The head has no choice but to be swept off the car by the motion.

"Dean, it's not a Whisper."

"Yeah, we're starting to get that," you say. Dean points his gun at the body of the deputy and shoots him four more times. Maybe that will do the trick. You think it does until you hear him growling from the other side of the car. "This bitch won't die."

"Alright, that's it."

Dean grabs the empty cooler where the beers were and pours the water and ice onto the ground. He grips the deputy's hair and places him inside the box for safekeeping. He takes his phone, which is still connected to Castiel, and snaps a few photos of the man's fangs.

"Castiel, you still there?"

"Of course. What's going on?"

"Whatever it is, silver slows it down. I'm sending you a picture right now of its fangs. I've never seen anything like it. See if there's a match in the lore, would ya?"

"I'm on it."

Dean hangs up with Castiel and sends the photo to him. He sees there is a missed call from Sam and calls him back right away.

"Dean, I got jumped."

"You okay?"

"For now. I'm pretty sure we're dealing with a pack here. Two of these things were attacking Mrs. Markham when I arrived. I filled them with silver but it only slowed them down."

"Yeah, well, Deputy Dumbass is one of them as well. He's in two pieces and still alive. Where are you now?"

"Mrs. Markham was knocked out. I carried her to the house nearby. I'll text you the address now."

"Sit tight. We're on our way." Dean hangs up the phone. "Everybody's getting jumped."

Dean looks at you as he peels out of the wooded clearing. Mrs. Markham is still knocked out when Dean arrives, and Sam places her in the back with you. She has bruises and cuts on her face, and you wish more than anything that you can heal her of that.

"The door was open when I got to the house. By the time I searched through it, they'd already beaten her unconscious," Sam says.

"Maybe she knew something about what happened to her husband."

"You're saying they tried to take her out while the deputy went back to the scene?"

"Yeah, he went to fix it up and found Y/N and I."

Castiel calls Dean back and he places him on speakerphone.

"Hey, Cas, tell me you got something that doesn't involve chicks in prison."

"It's a Nachzehrer. A ghoul and a vampire-like creature."

"A ghoul-pyre! Right?" Dean grins.

When Sam doesn't react, he rolls his eyes and focuses on the road.

"Some breeds feed on the flesh of the dead. Others feed on the blood and hearts of the living. They run in small packs but they usually keep an extremely low profile."

"How do we kill them?"

"They're already dead. In a manner of speaking, they just need to be reminded that they're dead. You need a Charon's obol."

"Of course." Sam nods. "In ancient Greece, when a person died, some people believed you had to put an obol or a coin in their mouth so they could use it as currency to be taken across the river to the underworld."

"Right. Place a coin in a Nachzehrer's mouth then sever their head, and that will kill them. According to the lore, if you kill the pack's alpha, everyone they've turned will revert back to human form."

"Awesome. Where do we find an obol?"

"According to the Men of Letters' records, you're gonna need a copper coin. They used to use pennies, so you'll need one of those."

"Yeah, but one minted pre-1982. Before 1982, pennies were ninety-five percent copper. Since then, they're only copper-plated zinc," Sam explains.

"Wow. Your nerdiness knows no bounds."

"You're welcome," Sam says.

"Thanks, Cas. Way to come off the bench."

"What bench?"

"Just get back to getting better, okay?" Dean hangs up and Sam reaches into his pocket to see if he has any change, and if there are the pennies he needs if he does. "I got nothing."

"There's a shocker. Who carries pennies these days anyway?"

"Get gas. I can get change there."

Dean pulls up to a gas station and thankfully, the pump hides most of the blood from the public. There's not a lot of people around here anyway but you don't want to stick around when someone calls the police because a car is covered in blood. Sam heads inside the gas station while Dean gets out of the car to put gas in the car. Mrs. Markham gasps awake and looks around until her eyes land on you.

"Where am I?"

"My name is Y/N and he's my husband, Dean. His brother, Sam is inside the--"

"What happened? Where am I?"

"You were attacked by the same people that killed your husband."

"My husband..."

"Do you know something about what happened to him? Maybe that's why these people attacked you?" She doesn't say anything. "Okay. Well, we're gonna take you someplace safe, and then we're gonna kill these sons of bitches."

She looks to the right and sees the container with the head. She gets curious and opens it, only to scream when she sees the Deputy's head. You slam the container shut and chuckle nervously.

"I can explain that. It's a," you can't believe you're saying this, "ghoul-pyre. The point is, it can't hurt you anymore. At least I don't think it... You know what? Let's just get rid of it. Dean!" He opens the back door. "Put this in the trunk, okay?"

"Yeah," he nods, having heard her scream.

"Your family. You do anything for them, don't you?" she asks after a pause.

"Absolutely. No questions asked."

"Yes, you do everything for them. Everything else is meaningless. I did it wrong. Now I've ruined everything."

"This isn't your fault."

"I put my family at risk. They were right to attack me, but I know how to make it right."

Suddenly, Mrs. Markham leaps at you and wraps both hands around your throat. She starts squeezing tightly and you full-blown panic. You slap her hands as you try to fight her off but she won't budge. No matter how hard you try, you can't tap into your magic to fight her. You know if you could, you'd be able to overtake her easily. You reach up and scratch her face, anything to get her to loosen her grip. You dig your thumb into her eye and she screams just as she loosens enough for you to suck in a breath.

"DEAN!"

The back door is yanked open and Dean grabs the collar of the woman. He yanks her out of the car, and you cough violently as the pain spreads from your neck down to the rest of your body. Mrs. Markham punches Dean twice and slams him into the side of the car, and she reaches into his jacket when she sees his gun. She slams the butt of the gun into the side of his head and shoves him into the back seat with you. You gather enough strength to fight back but she points the gun at you and shoots.

Time slows down to a stop and for a moment, you're not sure what was shot if who. Pain explodes from your side and you look down to see blood pouring out from your body. You've been shot. She shot you. Sam hears the shot and looks out the window to see Mrs. Markham behind the wheel. She peels out of the gas station just as Sam runs out of the station with his gun in hand. He shoots the back window which shatters the glass but she is too fast for him

"Where is it?! What did you do with the maker's body?! You're gonna tell me or I will end you!" she screams and points the gun at you.

You look down to see Dean passed out from the blow to his head, and you lean your head back on the seat.

"Forrest where your husband was found," you cry in pain.

x

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[queen-of-deans-booty]

Baby: Part Two

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Female!Reader

Word Count: ~2.6k

Warnings: canon angst and violence, extra angst, feeling broken and utterly helpless to the point of depression, wanting to die, being shot

Summary: You're trying to prove to Sam and Dean that after two months of having your soul restored, you're all better. You'll gladly play the part if it means they don't worry about you. However, that facade is slowly being stripped away from you the longer you go without facing up to those feelings. You're not okay and you need to stop pretending like you are.

Season Eleven Masterlist

Author’s Note: I do not own anything from Supernatural. All credit goes to their respective owners. I love seeing any and all comments <3

x

Dean pulls out of the parking lot and resumes the drive to Oregon, and you flip open the blank notebook and put your pen to the paper. Maybe in order to start to heal, you need to get out what's been bothering you. You have to do this for your kids. They'll become Sapphire Witches in the future, maybe only one of them might, but they're going to need something to fall back on when they find themselves in the same situation as you.

You pray to God that they never have to lose their souls but in the instance that it happens, they're gonna want to know what to do or how to get through it. There are plenty of books on the Sapphire Witch, even the journal that the previous Sapphire Witches had all written in. You'll write your own entries one day but right now, you have to focus on making a Scarlet Witch book.

You have to document what happened, what kind of magic you used, and how you felt so that future generations can look back on it and realize they're not alone.

Where do you even begin? From the beginning, I guess.

I am leaving this journal behind as a sort of... guide... for whoever needs to read it. I'm not even sure where to start. I don't remember much about my time as the Scarlet Witch, but I know the Mark of Cain helped me unlock that side of it. Does that mean I'll get that magic back if I ever become soulless again? I'm not sure. It's possible which means it's possible for you to gain these powers, hence this journal. The power I felt... It was like someone flipped a switch in my brain and dialed everything I felt to the maximum. It was evil. It was chaos. I could do things I can't do now. Well, maybe I can. I'm honestly afraid of using my magic in fear I'll tap into that side of me again. I craved power which is what you'll crave if you ever come across this side of you. I did anything I could in order to feed that monster inside of me, including hurting the people I love.

You take a break and look out the window before you start sobbing. Knowing how you feel is different than explaining it on paper for someone to read. It's going to be a long time before you're okay again but you have to get this down on paper before you refuse to do it. You tape the end of your pen rhythmically on the notebook as you think of what to say next.

"So, 'digging into the lore'? Is that what the kids are calling it these days?"

"Man, I needed that," Sam laughs.

"Look at that, you're finally not a virgin anymore," Dean grins. "You know what? I think it was time. I respect the fact that you know, wanted to stay true and pure and waited."

"You know what? You're an idiot," Sam scoffs.

"You even put a blanket down. Classy and thoughtful as always."

"I tried to give her my number. You know what she said?"

"We got tonight. Who needs tomorrow?"

"Is everything a Bob Seger song to you?"

"Yeah, well..." Dean looks at his brother who tries to hide a yawn. "You're tired. I'm still wired so I'm gonna pull over and get some gas. You hop in the back and get some Z's because you earned 'em. Proud of you, little brother." Dean pulls into the first gas station he sees and looks at you who is still staring out the window. "Hop up here, sweetheart."

You and Sam trade places, and you put your notebook away knowing you can't find the words to say. You don't want to rush this so you'll find some time to write later. You lean your head on the window and close your eyes. Maybe you'll get some sleep if you allow yourself to relax.

You gasp awake when you hear the sound of a train blaring its horn. You're still up front with Dean who has a book open on his lap. Sam jerks and looks around, having been shocked awake from the train as well. Dean is parked on the side of the road since there isn't a motel around for miles, and he doesn't want to drive anymore.

"Welcome to the Winchester Motel. We don't have cable, but we do have room service." Dean takes a beer from the cooler that's sitting on the floorboard by you and tosses it to Sam. "You were singing in your sleep. You know, that song Mom loved that Dad used to always play for us. I think I've actually still got the tape."

"Hey, Dean, when you and Y/N saw the Darkness, you weren't sure if it was the real thing or a vision, right?"

"It was real to me," you whisper.

"I think I've been having visions, too, lately. It's just images. I mean, more of a... feeling, really. I just had one right now, and Dad was in it, but it wasn't Dad like... like the Dad that I grew up with. It was Dad when he was our age. I guess it wasn't even really Dad. It was someone pretending to be Dad and--"

"Okay, what makes you say that?" Dean cuts his brother off from rambling.

"For starters, he told me everything I wanted to hear from him."

"Yeah, that doesn't sound like Dad."

"No. Anyways, whoever it was, they had a message to deliver. They said the Darkness is coming, and only we can stop it."

"Did they have him give you any helpful tips on how to do that?"

"He said, 'God helps those who help themselves.' I mean, maybe these visions are coming from God."

"Are you serious?" you ask.

"The first one happened after I prayed."

"You prayed? When was this?"

"Back with Jenna and Amara. After I got the phone call that Y/N was gone." You look down, remembering how you wanted to end your life. I still do. "I was worried."

"What did you pray about?"

"I guess I was just looking for answers, you know?"

"Well, I'm sure whatever is kicking around in your head right now is a side effect of being in close proximity to Amara."

"I don't think it's that simple."

"Come on, man. That quote? 'God helps those who help themselves'? God didn't say that. That's not even in the Bible. That's an old proverb that dates way back to Aesop." You and Sam look at Dean like he grew two heads. "What? I read. More importantly, when was the last time God answered any one of our prayers? It's not a vision, Sam. It's just some fever dream. That's all. As far as Dad goes, I dream about Dad all the time."

"You do?"

"Of course, I do. It's usually the same one, too." Dean looks down as he speaks, unable to look at anyone in the eyes when he says this. "We're all in the car. I'm sitting in the driver's seat and Dad is sitting shotgun. There aren't any shotguns. There are no monsters. There's no hunting. There's none of that. It's just... He's teaching me how to drive, and I'm not little like I was when he actually taught me how to drive. I'm sixteen, and he's helping me get my learner's permit. Of course, you two are in the backseat, just begging to take a turn. We pull up to the house--the family house--and I park in the driveway. He looks over and says, 'Perfect landing, son.' I have that dream every couple of months. Kind of comforting, actually."

"I always dream about mom. Usually the same kind of thing, though."

"Normal life?"

"Yeah. Normal life. Mean, I know we have a family and kids which is what we dream about, but there is no hunting."

"Yeah, I get it."

"Dean, this wasn't just a dream. I'm telling you."

"Why would somebody dress up like Dad to give you a message? I mean, it's Dad. You don't exactly have a history of listening to what he had to say."

"You two said the Darkness is sending messages to you. Y/N, is this any different than her messages to you? Maybe whatever is the opposite of the Darkness is sending messages to me."

"You think that's God?" you ask. "He's not exactly a team player at the moment."

"Okay, maybe it's not God, but--"

"Look, I know what you're trying to do here. You're trying to find some greater meaning to it all. Right? Some explanation as to what went down. I'm telling you, Sam. The Darkness? It's on us. No one's gonna help us, certainly not God, so we'll have to figure this thing out like we always do. Until then, we hunt."

"Goodnight, jerk," Sam scoffs.

"Night, bitch."

It's lights out now, so you and Dean shift so that he's lying on the seat with you on top of him. You rest your head above his heart while he rubs your back softly to calm your racing heart. You lift your head enough to catch his eyes.

"Dean, I..."

The words are lodged in your throat.

"I know, sweetheart. I do, too," he whispers.

You lean up and kiss him emotionally before putting your head back down on his chest. You don't have any nightmares and you think it's because you're in your husband's arms. 

When you wake up the next morning, Dean finishes the drive to Oregon and drops Sam off at the Sheriff's station while you and Dean head to the ME's office to look at the body. After getting what he needs, you two head back to the station and wait for Sam to be done. You're sitting in the front with your head leaning on the window just watching the wind blow the leaves on the ground. Dean reaches over and tucks a strand of hair behind your ear, and you turn your head to look at him.

"How are you doing?"

"Okay, I guess."

"I want you to be honest with me about how you're feeling. I'm your husband."

"I wish I wasn't here. I know that's not fair of me to say but it's true. I should have let Death put me on another planet when I had the chance."

"I promised you that I would bring you back and I did. I took care of you while you were stuck inside my head. Now, I promise you that I will get you back to how you were before. No matter how long it takes." You scoot closer to him and put your forehead on his. He drops his voice to a whisper. "I promise you'll feel okay one day."

"I love you so much."

"I love you so much."

You two share a slow and intimate kiss. Everything else melts away so that it's only you and Dean in this moment. You pull away just as Sam walks out of the Sheriff's station and just like that, everything comes back into focus.

"Hey, the coroner showed me the sheriff's body. It was mauled all right. Get this, his heart was missing and his was body completely drained of blood."

"So, what? Are we looking for a werewolf/vampire hybrid?"

"Say it with me. A Were-pyre. Huh?" Dean asks with a grin.

"No."

"Come on."

"I'm not saying that," Sam snips.

"Whatever. I called Cas and told him to look into the lore. What do you got?"

"The Sheriff's replacement, Deputy Donnelly, is not the brightest bulb. I got a copy of his report, through. Maybe he missed something."

Speaking of, the Deputy walks to the window and kneels down right where Dean is sitting.

"Agents."

"Deputy."

"They must be your partners. Agent Walsh and Richards, right?" He looks from Sam to you to Dean. "Pleasure to meet you. I just want to thank you three for stopping by. We really appreciate your due diligence."

"Actually, do you know a motel where we can crash for the night?"

"You're staying?"

"Yeah, we want to be thorough."

"Well, there's a motel on Downey that'll give you a good price. If you're looking for a decent meal, you can't beat Aunt Mel's down by the train station. Parking is a bitch but it's the best damn steak in the whole state."

"You had me at 'steak'," Dean grins.

Dean drives to Aunt Mel's and grumbles in annoyance when he sees the valet parking service. He doesn't see a way out of it so he's forced to use their service. Sam looks over at his brother who refuses to hand his keys over to the very young woman.

"Dean, people valet park all the time. Come on, live a little."

Dean gets out of the car and hands the woman his keys but not without a warning.

"Yeah, listen, uh," he looks at her nametag, "Jessie, not a scratch, okay?"

You three head inside and Sam gets a table in the back, and you pull your phone out of your pocket to call Molly.

"Hey, how's the hunt going?" she answers.

"Oh, uh, okay. How are the kids?"

"The girls are angels. It's Noah I'm still having trouble with. Don't worry, I've dealt with this kind of thing before. I always leave a family with everyone loving me."

"Is he there with you?"

"Yeah."

"Put him on, please." There is a shuffle on the other end before Noah comes on the line. You step off to the side to speak privately while the brothers order food. "Noah, why are you giving Molly a hard time?"

"I want to be out there with you hunting."

"Noah... I know you want to come out with us but getting an education and being a kid is more important. You'll have your entire life to hunt but you can only be a kid once. Trust me, as someone whose childhood was stolen, being a kid is so much more important."

"Yeah, I guess," he sighs.

"Okay, look, why don't I make a deal with you? If you continue to go to school and not give Molly a hard time, I'll take you out and practice hunting with you. I'll teach you how to use all sorts of weapons and give you some training. Deal?"

"Yeah, we can do that."

"Okay, I gotta go but I love you."

"I love you, too."

x

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[queen-of-deans-booty]

Baby: Part One

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Female!Reader

Word Count: ~2.6k

Warnings: canon angst and violence, extra angst, feeling broken and utterly helpless to the point of depression, wanting to die, being shot

Summary: You're trying to prove to Sam and Dean that after two months of having your soul restored, you're all better. You'll gladly play the part if it means they don't worry about you. However, that facade is slowly being stripped away from you the longer you go without facing up to those feelings. You're not okay and you need to stop pretending like you are.

Season Eleven Masterlist

Author’s Note: I do not own anything from Supernatural. All credit goes to their respective owners. I love seeing any and all comments <3

x

It's been a month since Molly has been living at the Bunker with your family. You wanted to give the kids a chance to get to know her before school starts. It's been going about as well as you expected it to go. Joanna absolutely loves her, Maryann is a bit cautious, and Noah makes it clear he doesn't like her. Molly is doing her best to help with chores and taking care of the dogs as well as getting used to the kids.

She's been dedicating all of her time being with the kids, taking them out to the park, and allowing them room to get used to her. You don't want her to feel suffocated here so you help where you can to give her a break so she spends her time in the library reading about anything and everything. Her knowledge of the hunting life wasn't that big but now she has an entire library full of lore to fall back on.

If she's going to be taking care of Winchester children, she has to know what's out there. She's a good hunter but there is always room for improvement.

You're in the kitchen making the kids lunch while Molly helps the girls get ready for school. Noah is the first one in the kitchen and the first one to grab his lunch.

"Can you at least pretend you like Molly?"

"I don't know why she's even here. I don't need a babysitter. I'm almost thirteen."

"She's not a babysitter." You sigh and lean against the kitchen island. "I've done things I'm not proud of, Noah, and I need to know that when your dad, uncle, and I are gone from this Bunker, you're safe. Just you being a Winchester has enough of a target on your back. I need someone here to look after you not because I don't trust you but because I love you. I think you're old enough to go to school on your own but your sisters aren't. What if something happens to you on the way to school? What will you do? You're not prepared but Molly is."

"How long is she going to be here?"

"I don't know. Right now, I need all the help I can get."

"Guess."

"At least a year. Maybe more. Work with her, Noah. All I ask is that you try. Can you do that for me, please?"

"Alright," Noah sighs.

"Thank you."

You pull Noah in for a hug he acts like he doesn't want but you see the smile on his face. You kiss the top of his head just as Molly and your daughters walk in. You give the lunches to Molly who packs them inside their backpacks.

"Thanks for doing this, Molly."

"It's no problem, really."

She leaves with the kids to bring them to their first day of school. Noah is starting the 7th grade, Joanna is starting Kindergarten, and Maryann is in preschool. You can't wait for them to get home so you can hear all about their day. This past month has been especially hard for you because you're in a constant battle between yourself and wanting to give your kids the love they deserve.

You're not fully back yet and you're not sure when you will be. You have to take it day by day and see how you feel but you can already tell this isn't going to be a good one. As soon as the kids are gone, the tears come. You put your hand to your mouth to silence your sobs but two manage to escape.

No, we're not doing this today. A month with your soul restored isn't enough time to get over just how bad you were... how many people you've killed. I need Dean. He makes everything better even if he's just standing there. He and Sam decided to forgive you for what you did but you know you have a long road ahead of you of making it up to them. Thank God your kids don't know what you did otherwise you'd have killed yourself for sure.

You wipe the tears from your face and go find your husband who is inside the garage washing his precious car... again. His back is turned to you as he leans over the trunk to wash the back window. You want to help him. You want to be able to go over to him and offer to help but you feel frozen in your stance. How can you ever go back to doing normal shit when you feel so far from normal?

Someone walks up behind you and you turn to see Sam there. You mutter a quick apology and move out of his way. He decides to give you some space and walks over to his brother who just now notices you two.

"Hey. Did you find anything?"

"On the Darkness? No."

"What about Metatron?"

"No."

"Great. So, we have an ancient evil out there somewhere just getting stronger by the day."

"Cas is getting better so there's that. He still needs more time to heal, though."

Sam grabs a sponge and helps his brother wash the car while you stay by the door and watch them.

"I guess we got nothing to do but get better. Speaking of, you doing alright, sweetheart?"

Both brothers look at you and you blush out of embarrassment.

"Fine."

Dean hums but goes back to what he was doing. He doesn't believe you but that's a conversation to be had in the privacy of your own bedroom instead of in front of Sam.

"I don't know about you two, but I've got some serious cabin fever. I've washed every car in here twice."

"I may have found us a case in Oregon. I mean, it's thin but--"

"Thin works. Tell me on the way."

While the brothers dry the soap and water off the car, you take your phone out and text Molly your plans.

You: Hey, the boys and I are going to Oregon for a case. We should be back by the end of the week.

Molly: Go. I got this.

You really don't deserve her and you barely even know her. You're not sure where you're at but when it starts raining, Dean scoffs knowing he just washed his car. You're sitting in the back seat with your head resting on the window watching the drops of water race down the window.

"Alright, let's hear it. What are we getting into?"

"There's a town outside of Eugene, Oregon called Quaker Valley. Dwayne Markham, the local sheriff, was found in the woods a couple of days ago. His body was mauled so they chalked it up to an animal attack, but I'm thinking it could be a werewolf."

"You're right. That is thin."

"Probably nothing, right?"

"Probably not. Oregon, here we come."

Sam's phone rings and he answers Castiel's call. He places him on speakerphone and you pull your eyes away from the window to look at the phone as if Castiel is standing right there.

"Hey, Cas. Everything alright?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. I was just reading up about the other cases in the area that you're headed to. I haven't found anything yet that matches."

"Cas, you've got one job to do and that's to heal."

"I can help, Dean."

"Yeah, I know but now is the time for you to focus on getting better. This is just a milk run. We got it. So, try and relax."

"Alright."

"Read a book and watch some Netflix."

"What's a 'Netflix'?"

"Go to my room and turn on the TV. It's the red and black icon. You'll figure it out."

"Call me if you need anything."

"Got it. Thanks, Cas." Sam hangs up. "Do you think he's gonna be okay?"

"Yeah. He just needs some time, you know? We all do."

I don't think time will fix me. Dean doesn't want to drive all the way to Oregon in one trip so he stops somewhere in Salt Lake City to get some rest for the night. He pulls up in front of a sketchy-looking bar called The Roadhouse, and all you can think about is getting a room and crying yourself to sleep.

"Are you serious, Dean? It's late. I'm exhausted and starving. This place... I mean, even Swayze wouldn't come to this roadhouse."

"Okay, first of all, never use Swayze's name in vain. Okay? Ever. Second, you don't remember this place? You don't remember the hunt we worked on with the Wendigo a couple of years ago?"

"Oh, yeah."

"Look, we have a lot of driving to do just to go to a town where there's probably not a case. We could make this night a good one if we let it. What do you say? Sweetheart?"

"I don't care," you sigh and look down.

"I say, knock yourself out. I'm gonna find a diner, dig into the lore like Cas did, and see if anything has ever happened where we're headed."

"Oh, man, you really gotta learn to have fun. Seriously, it's pathetic. Come on, sweetheart. Let's go."

You and Dean separate from Sam once you all get out of the car. Just let me cry in peace. Dean has to drag you into the lively bar, and you take out your phone to message Molly.

You: How was the kids' first day of school?

Molly: It went as expected. It was a good first day and now they're in their beds sleeping.

Dean reaches over and takes your phone from you before you have a chance to message Molly back. You and Dean sit at the bar, both of you wearing different faces. The bartender looks at you and decides your poison will be the strongest drink they have, but you don't touch it.

"Just give me one night where you block everything out, okay?"

"I can't, Dean," you sigh.

"What's it going to take for you to be okay?"

You snap your head up and glare at Dean who is taken aback by your sudden change in attitude.

"This isn't some depressive episode, Dean. For an entire year, I spent life soulless. For an entire year, I... hurt people... killed people with my magic. My magic that is supposed to be used to heal people. That doesn't go away after two months."

"Yeah, I know--"

"No, you don't know. You want to know but you don't, and I don't expect you to. Just stop pretending like everything is fine when it's not."

You get up and walk to the bathroom without another word. Dean sighs and looks at his phone thoughtfully. He's debating on calling Sam but decides against it. He wants to be there for you but he doesn't know how if he can't understand. Maybe he should call the new Death and make him put a wall in your head. After taking a moment or two to yourself, you walk back out of the bathroom and over to Dean.

"Enjoy your time here, Dean. I'm getting a motel for the night. I'm tired."

"Y/N--"

"Goodnight, Dean."

You leave your phone with him and leave the bar. There is a motel right across the street from the bar so that's where you walk over to. There are a lot of rooms available but you don't care which one you get. You just need to get inside a room before you break down crying. You pay for the night and leave with the key in hand. You don't bother locking the door because as soon as you close the door, you're already in tears.

You sit on the edge of the bed and look down at your hands. Hands that have killed. They glow softly with blue magic but seeing that magic brings such a heavy weight to your heart. It hurts to see your magic. It's like someone has stabbed you in the heart and left a dull knife inside of you. It hurts to breathe. It hurts to think. It hurts to live. I hurt all over and Dean doesn't even know. You put your head in your hands and sob. Your wails are loud enough that you're sure the neighbors on either side of you can hear you.

You jump when you feel a hand touch your shoulder but you don't look at who it is. You already know who it is. Dean pulls you into his arms and lets you sob into his chest. He is here for you through your worst and will do anything to take care of you no matter what that entails. Seeing you this way is worse than seeing you without a soul. He knows you're hurting and he can't do anything to make it better. At least with before, he knew the real you was stuck inside his head. He knew he could fix that.

He doesn't know how to fix this.

As soon as the sun starts shining through the window, you and Dean are already heading back to the Impala. You don't know if you can talk about what happened and Dean doesn't force you to. What he did last night helped only because it was he who was holding you. He stayed up well past after you fell asleep just to listen to you breathe. He prayed that you'd make it out okay for whatever it's worth.

You stop short when you see Sam naked in the back seat with a blonde woman on top of him. You gasp loud enough to wake her up, and she looks around frantically.

"Who are you two?" she asks.

"Sam!"

"Ah, what?" He opens his eyes and looks at you and Dean sheepishly. "This is my brother, Dean, and his wife, Y/N."

You immediately look away when she shifts enough to reveal Sam's cock. You know what it looks like but you don't want to violate him like that.

"Sorry, Sam, I didn't realize you had company," Dean chuckles.

"Yeah, uh, could you give us a minute?"

"Yeah."

Dean takes your hand and heads to the diner that's in the same complex as the bar. You two take a table by the window with a clear shot of the Impala, and Dean orders for you two. You look away from the car with a sigh, and Dean slides your phone across the table toward you.

"I charged it for you."

"Thanks," you whisper.

After getting some food in your stomach, you see the woman Sam was with walk into the diner wearing a uniform. Son of a bitch works here. Dean pays for the bill and you two walk back out to the car where Sam is now in the front seat. He is buttoning up his shirt but you don't immediately get in the back. You open the trunk and grab some baby wipes from the baby bag you have stashed back here. You notice your own bag and ruffle through it until you find what you're looking for. You close the trunk and start wiping the back seat with the baby wipes.

"I put a blanket down," Sam huffs out.

"My kids sit back here, Sam. I don't need them contracting a disease because you couldn't keep it in your pants."

Once you deem it safe to sit back there, you climb into the car and clutch the notebook you grabbed from your bag to your chest. Dean grabs a cassette tape from the glove compartment and shoves it into the player.

"Dean, I can explain what was going on--"

"No, no, no. No need."

Bob Seger's "Night Moves" starts playing and Sam scoffs at the silent message Dean is trying to tell him.

"Don't 'Night Moves' me."

"Shh. Just let it wash over you. Just take it in," he smirks.

"This is ridiculous."

"He's one of the greatest rock writers of all time, Samuel."

He rolls his eyes. "It's Sam."

x

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