#coping with ptsd

[aether-amalgam-system]

Btw, as someone in therapy for DID with a therapist trained to work with DID, the best way to “deal with” alters dubbed as persecutors/perpetrators/abuser introjects/etc is to recognize that they’re not there for no reason or for a bad reason.

In psychology and in really really advanced forms of PTSD, trauma responses go far beyond fight/flight/freeze. In more advanced forms of PTSD, there is also “submit” and “identify”. They are both ways to minimize trauma sustained from abusers. Submit is basically just doing as you’re told to avoid getting in more trouble/danger. Identify is when you begin to identify yourself with your abuser/s, telling yourself that they’re right, you ARE bad, you deserve it etc etc etc.

And that’s what persecutors (which is the term I’m gonna use in this post, but please know I mean abuser introjects/perpetrators as well when I say this) are there to do, a good deal of the time. They’re there to identify with the system’s abuser/s to keep the system from being abused further. If you obey, do as you’re told, believe the lies, then you’re more likely to be treated “better” in many abuse situations. (This is why submit and identify are present in more advanced cases of PTSD, as well as fight/flight/freeze).

So how does this information help us as systems?

Well, step one is to realize NO PART is there for NO REASON! Every part has a role and a part to play, even if they don’t “seem” to have one.

Step two is to realize that persecutor parts are using skills that USED TO keep you safe/safer in the past, but are damaging you now. A lot of the time, there is a scared, damaged, traumatized child underneath the big bad wolf.

Step three is to just talk to them. Why do you do this? How is this helping you/us? What purpose did these behaviors serve and what are they doing now? And then, bear with me here, tell them thank you. Compassion and kindness are KEY to healing any type of trauma, with or without a dissociative disorder. And that means compassion with EVERY PART OF SELF, including the “difficult” ones.

And then step four is to strive for safety. Safety isn’t always possible immediately or even in the near future, but you CANNOT heal if you remain in an abusive or unsafe environment. Sometimes you need to make very difficult or scary decisions to achieve safety, which is the only place parts/alters can heal.

If you’re safe, compassionate, and open with your parts, things WILL become better. I promise you that. I’ve only just started my healing journey and I’ve been in EMDR therapy for over a year now and it’s JUST BEGINNING! It takes a lot of time and healing isn’t a straight line either, so there will be relapses and downward slopes, but you can NEVER go back to square one because you’ve already left that station. You can have the worst episode of your life and you will STILL not be back to square one, because of the information and wisdom and tools you have gathered and learned from your healing journey. And every upswing will be faster and stronger than the last.

Anyway, I can already smell the people obsessed with abusing their persecutors/other peoples persecutors, so imma give you my source for this information.

Read the book Finding Solid Ground or get the Finding Solid Ground workbook, by Hugo J. Schielke, Bethany L. Brand, and Ruth A. Lanius. My therapy group is working through this book and so far it’s been extremely helpful and enlightening. My therapist likes to tell me “if it doesn’t serve you, leave it behind” and by that I mean: if something in the book is unhelpful to you or if you’re recommended a coping skill that you find unhelpful after trying it a couple times, then just leave it behind. If it doesn’t work for you, then it doesn’t work. And that’s ok!

This book isn’t necessarily just for people with dissociative disorders, it’s geared towards all people with trauma and ptsd, but any type of PTSD recovery is going to help people with dissociative disorders heal because that’s the basis for the disorder!

Anyway, long post over. This is just a bit that I’ve learned from my therapist and the group that I’ve been attending for over a year now. It’s amazing, but you do have to BUY the book, I don’t know if you can find it online… I had to buy it because it was for the group so. It’s a little steep, but if you can get your hands on it, I would recommend it immensely!

❤️‍🩹 (he/it)

[sage-hazeline]

how do you reconnect to life after being disconnected for so long

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

anyone else have multiple traumatic memories associated specifically with holidays/family vacations? because that is a topic I never see discussed in all the So You Had A Shitty Childhood, Now What? self-help books i've been reading. but for me, it was a significant thing. and the more i think about it the more it seems like this would be an (unfortunately) common experience. would be grateful to hear if this matches other peoples' experiences...

[weedle-testaburger]

@theangelshavethephonebox you asked for it and i couldn't say no

[softytothecore]

[jediexile]

I live in Western North Carolina. I have no idea if anyone knows what is going on here. I finally have gotten sufficient enough cell service to get online.

We are never going to fully recover. Whole towns are gone. My town was flattened. My street, a few miles south of town, was spared. We had no power or running water for four days. We lost hundreds of dollars of food from our fridge and freezers. We have no internet and no idea when it will be back. I work from home. My partner works two jobs - or worked, because one probably doesn’t exist anymore. My car took minor damage from the storm. Even if we had jobs, we probably couldn’t get to them. We got really lucky.

I so far have not lost anyone. Many of my friends are displaced. Some watched their homes be swept away. Some of them lost their pets. Some of them had to dig their children out of mud.

People - not organizations, not first responders, not the government - are clearing roads, doing welfare checks, forming groups of riders to take supplies up mountains on horses and mules. Private helicopters are landing in the middle of my town to drop supplies. They are doing this all over, all day, an essential lifeline for our cut off communities. The bigger cities are getting a more organized response, especially Asheville, which was essentially cut off from incoming vehicle traffic for a few days. Thank god the airport was spared.

I lost cell service, then internet, then power, from 7:45-8:20am Friday. I had no communication until Saturday. I was able to get a few texts out. I was able to get into town. Children’s toys were in the street. Some of my favorite businesses are gone. I saw a car part way up a house.

Please, send help. I don’t know what organizations to donate to. Any time I get online is spent networking relief efforts and getting the word out about missing persons. Keeping my family updated. Applying for FEMA assistance and mortgage relief. I have heard Blue Ridge Public Radio has a list on their website.

The death toll right now stands in the 50s. It is going to end up in the hundreds.

I am so heartbroken.

[xspidershex]

I want to save people

[yourhealingjournal]

the time you spent healing is not wasteful and you can still feel sad about the things you missed out on because you took time to heal.

[shrimpleastha]

Fantasizing about extremely traumatic scenarios bc it doesn't feel like my trauma is enough

[thatoneautisticshark]

Tw panic attacks, mild dissociation discussion of rape.

Price and Simon slept together, having a good time. Simon doesn't do so well afterwards however

Price pulled out of Simon with a groan. “Fucking hell, your so tight.”

Simon lay there, his own cum on his stomach, Prices spend slowly leaking from his hole.His breathing heavy and measured as he vaguely registered Price moving around doing something nearby.

He felt… gross. He was sticky and sweaty. But it wasn't even the physical sensation. His eyes were blurring. His Captains bedroom was starting to look like his childhood bedroom, or the room with Roba.

He couldn't tell, it was all blurring together but he knew it wasn't good.His awareness of around him was fading, his ears ringing. He vaguely registered a door and footsteps exiting by it.

Of course he was being left. Fuck him and leave him, that's what always happened. At least the weren't here any more. He was safe for the time being.

He shifted, wincing at the feeling as he curled up. It hurt he could barely register anything, but he could feel the gross gross, wrong feeling of it, dripping out of him.

Running down his thighs.

Dampening his legs.

It was all so wrong. He needed to go, to run to do something, but he lay, frozen, stuck.

He wasn't sure how long he was laying there, eyes barely focused on the nightstand, ears ringing, but he was harshly snapped back to reality by the feeling of something wet on his thigh.

Simon reacted instinctively, somewhere between fight or flight. One hand threw a punch, but his body flinched backwards causing him to tumble off the bed. His head collides with the dresser as he scrambles backwards.

Through his blurry vision, he can barely see the shape.

The person. Approaching, getting closer and towering over him.

He pushes himself back in an attempt to get further, his back hitting the dresser. A hand is coming towards him, to grab, to hit, to do something.

Practically powerless, he plasters himself against the dresser, eyes squeezed shut. No touch comes. He slowly opens an eye, trying to focus through the blur.

The person is crouched In Front of him but not reaching out any more. The person speaks, their voice a low calming rumble “Hey, you're okay, I won't touch you, okay?”

The voice is familiar, Simon is sure he knows it, but he just can't place it. He knows it, the voice makes him feel safer, though he is still panicked.

“Just breathe, luv. That's it. In and out, Riley.”

Simons eyes slowly begin to focus ever so slightly. The beard, and voice finally piece together in his exhausted panic filled mind.

“Price?”

The captain's face split into a small smile. “Yeah I'm here, luv. Just breathe. It's all okay, relax”

Simons breaths slowly became more measured, the panic still clawing at the edges of his mind. But heavily overshadowed by shame and embarrassment.

Right after sex, he had a fucking freak out in his captains bed. Just bloody mint. His brain finally registered what was in Price's hand.

It was a fucking washcloth. He was gonna clean him up. He freaked out like a child over a washcloth?

He literally tried to punch his CO over trying to clean him up.

He froze. Oh god.He tried to punch his Captain. Wait, did he try or did he succeed? He couldn't see an obvious mark, so at least if he landed a hit it wasn't hard.

Maybe he could play it off? Worth a shot.

He stood up, ignoring the fact his legs were shaking and he felt like a newborn deer. “Well that was dramatic” He said, forcing his voice to be as steady as possible.

Acting as everything was fine. Maybe price would let him leave without being upset.

Price gave him a flat look “Yeah no, you are not playing this off. Sit down”

Well fuck. Simon wanted to wack his head into the wall, but he wasn't gonna disobey. He sat back on the bed, narrowly avoiding pulling a face as he became aware once more of the feeling of the cum all over and dribbling out from him.

Price sat down, a bit away from him, giving him some space. And Simon couldn't work out if he was happy or upset about it.

He wanted space. But a bit of him also wanted to be held, to be comforted, but he pushed it down.

He saw price's movement out of the corner of his eye and glanced over. Price was holding out the wash cloth. “You wanna clean up? I doubt that feels nice”

Simon nodded, gratefully taking the cloth, wiping himself off. He was so stupid. He could have just stayed still and let price clean him up, but nooo. He had to be a drama queen and fall off the bed and try to punch his Captain.

That was obviously the logical decision.

He slowly raised his head to look at Price…who didn't look angry? Simon wasn't sure what the expression was but he was fairly sure that wasn't anger.

Price cleared his throat. “So are we gonna talk about that?”

Simon winced “How about no?” At the withering look he received he relented. “Not much to say. I was in my head and reacted dramatically. You startled me. Sorry for trying to clock you in the face.”

“Simon. That is not a reaction to just being startled and we know it. Maybe the initial thing, a flinch and instinctual punch, you could maybe convince me. But, then not even reacting to the fact you wacked your head, and scrambling backwards panicked and crying. That was not just being startled.”

Simon blinked at him “I wasn't crying.”

Price gave him a look “Did you really think that was gonna convince me? Your mask is damp from your tears.”

Simons hands immediately came up to his mask touching it, and sure enough, it was moist under his eyes. He had indeed been crying. “Ah”

A silence stretched over the room. Simon sat there trying to work out how to explain his dramatics.“I just.. my brain was just being dumb price. It decided to …. Think of this as being the room I was in with Roba and I was in my head. And the touch startled me, and then I couldn't quite recognise you”

The silence that followed confused Simon slightly. Price was staring at him with a look on his face as if Simon had delivered the worst news.“I..Fuck I am so sorry. I didn't know. I didn't know it would trigger a panic attack, especially about rape. I swear I wouldn't have if I knew” Price looked so guilty.

Simon blinked at him. “It's fine? It's not a huge deal.”

It really wasn't. Simons brain just did stupid stuff sometimes and Price didn't have a reason to be apologizing.

The older man opened his mouth to argue before closing it, sighing and opening it again. “We are going to have a proper discussion about this at some point. But not right now, can I hug you right now?”

Simon nodded, and felt the warm strong arms off his captain wrapping around his middle and the tickle of the beard against his neck.

He agreed because Price really seemed to need it. But he had to admit it was nice. The older man was practically a heater, and a weighted blanket in one.“I'm giving you actual fucking aftercare” Came the murmur from his chest. If aftercare included cuddles like this, Simon decided he'd probably like it.

Poor price. He Is so worried and confused. Also autistic ghost, who just thinks his panics attacks are being dramatic.

[lionbearfox]

this one goes out to fern and fern alone

[ophanstears]

i could explain why anyone that says "flowey cant feel (positive emotions) because he doesnt have a soul" is wrong but i dont feel like it. all you need to know that as a fellow trauma survivor he is my puppet to project onto whether he likes it or not

read the tags for more i suppose

[slivincptsd]

[deceivedanddestroyed]

[surrah698]

[spoonie-on-wheels86]