#coping with ptsd

[aether-amalgam-system]

Btw, as someone in therapy for DID with a therapist trained to work with DID, the best way to “deal with” alters dubbed as persecutors/perpetrators/abuser introjects/etc is to recognize that they’re not there for no reason or for a bad reason.

In psychology and in really really advanced forms of PTSD, trauma responses go far beyond fight/flight/freeze. In more advanced forms of PTSD, there is also “submit” and “identify”. They are both ways to minimize trauma sustained from abusers. Submit is basically just doing as you’re told to avoid getting in more trouble/danger. Identify is when you begin to identify yourself with your abuser/s, telling yourself that they’re right, you ARE bad, you deserve it etc etc etc.

And that’s what persecutors (which is the term I’m gonna use in this post, but please know I mean abuser introjects/perpetrators as well when I say this) are there to do, a good deal of the time. They’re there to identify with the system’s abuser/s to keep the system from being abused further. If you obey, do as you’re told, believe the lies, then you’re more likely to be treated “better” in many abuse situations. (This is why submit and identify are present in more advanced cases of PTSD, as well as fight/flight/freeze).

So how does this information help us as systems?

Well, step one is to realize NO PART is there for NO REASON! Every part has a role and a part to play, even if they don’t “seem” to have one.

Step two is to realize that persecutor parts are using skills that USED TO keep you safe/safer in the past, but are damaging you now. A lot of the time, there is a scared, damaged, traumatized child underneath the big bad wolf.

Step three is to just talk to them. Why do you do this? How is this helping you/us? What purpose did these behaviors serve and what are they doing now? And then, bear with me here, tell them thank you. Compassion and kindness are KEY to healing any type of trauma, with or without a dissociative disorder. And that means compassion with EVERY PART OF SELF, including the “difficult” ones.

And then step four is to strive for safety. Safety isn’t always possible immediately or even in the near future, but you CANNOT heal if you remain in an abusive or unsafe environment. Sometimes you need to make very difficult or scary decisions to achieve safety, which is the only place parts/alters can heal.

If you’re safe, compassionate, and open with your parts, things WILL become better. I promise you that. I’ve only just started my healing journey and I’ve been in EMDR therapy for over a year now and it’s JUST BEGINNING! It takes a lot of time and healing isn’t a straight line either, so there will be relapses and downward slopes, but you can NEVER go back to square one because you’ve already left that station. You can have the worst episode of your life and you will STILL not be back to square one, because of the information and wisdom and tools you have gathered and learned from your healing journey. And every upswing will be faster and stronger than the last.

Anyway, I can already smell the people obsessed with abusing their persecutors/other peoples persecutors, so imma give you my source for this information.

Read the book Finding Solid Ground or get the Finding Solid Ground workbook, by Hugo J. Schielke, Bethany L. Brand, and Ruth A. Lanius. My therapy group is working through this book and so far it’s been extremely helpful and enlightening. My therapist likes to tell me “if it doesn’t serve you, leave it behind” and by that I mean: if something in the book is unhelpful to you or if you’re recommended a coping skill that you find unhelpful after trying it a couple times, then just leave it behind. If it doesn’t work for you, then it doesn’t work. And that’s ok!

This book isn’t necessarily just for people with dissociative disorders, it’s geared towards all people with trauma and ptsd, but any type of PTSD recovery is going to help people with dissociative disorders heal because that’s the basis for the disorder!

Anyway, long post over. This is just a bit that I’ve learned from my therapist and the group that I’ve been attending for over a year now. It’s amazing, but you do have to BUY the book, I don’t know if you can find it online… I had to buy it because it was for the group so. It’s a little steep, but if you can get your hands on it, I would recommend it immensely!

❤️‍🩹 (he/it)

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

anyone else have multiple traumatic memories associated specifically with holidays/family vacations? because that is a topic I never see discussed in all the So You Had A Shitty Childhood, Now What? self-help books i've been reading. but for me, it was a significant thing. and the more i think about it the more it seems like this would be an (unfortunately) common experience. would be grateful to hear if this matches other peoples' experiences...

[weedle-testaburger]

@theangelshavethephonebox you asked for it and i couldn't say no

[jediexile]

I live in Western North Carolina. I have no idea if anyone knows what is going on here. I finally have gotten sufficient enough cell service to get online.

We are never going to fully recover. Whole towns are gone. My town was flattened. My street, a few miles south of town, was spared. We had no power or running water for four days. We lost hundreds of dollars of food from our fridge and freezers. We have no internet and no idea when it will be back. I work from home. My partner works two jobs - or worked, because one probably doesn’t exist anymore. My car took minor damage from the storm. Even if we had jobs, we probably couldn’t get to them. We got really lucky.

I so far have not lost anyone. Many of my friends are displaced. Some watched their homes be swept away. Some of them lost their pets. Some of them had to dig their children out of mud.

People - not organizations, not first responders, not the government - are clearing roads, doing welfare checks, forming groups of riders to take supplies up mountains on horses and mules. Private helicopters are landing in the middle of my town to drop supplies. They are doing this all over, all day, an essential lifeline for our cut off communities. The bigger cities are getting a more organized response, especially Asheville, which was essentially cut off from incoming vehicle traffic for a few days. Thank god the airport was spared.

I lost cell service, then internet, then power, from 7:45-8:20am Friday. I had no communication until Saturday. I was able to get a few texts out. I was able to get into town. Children’s toys were in the street. Some of my favorite businesses are gone. I saw a car part way up a house.

Please, send help. I don’t know what organizations to donate to. Any time I get online is spent networking relief efforts and getting the word out about missing persons. Keeping my family updated. Applying for FEMA assistance and mortgage relief. I have heard Blue Ridge Public Radio has a list on their website.

The death toll right now stands in the 50s. It is going to end up in the hundreds.

I am so heartbroken.

[xspidershex]

I want to save people

[sage-hazeline]

how do you reconnect to life after being disconnected for so long

[yourhealingjournal]

the time you spent healing is not wasteful and you can still feel sad about the things you missed out on because you took time to heal.

[shrimpleastha]

Fantasizing about extremely traumatic scenarios bc it doesn't feel like my trauma is enough

[lionbearfox]

this one goes out to fern and fern alone

[lonelyworthlessdreamer]

[softytothecore]

[kiindr]

reminder that you’re not behind. everyone has a completely different life. we are all taking it at our own pace. do what you can. and it’s okay if you can’t do anything right now. if it has been like this for sometime, try looking into what might be causing it for you. you’re going to be okay 🩷

[slivincptsd]

[copingwithmemes]

[charlunday]

it's okay to be sad. 💛

[hello-friends9500]

Self-Soothing