#derealisation disorder

[vixensofdeath]

I wish my shower could wash away all the pain and memories and all of my problems. I feel the water and it feels nicer than most moments in my life and it feels welcoming. for an hour I can sit and think of everything or nothing and just feel. I can just feel, without feeling bad or happy even, I can just experience feeling without the emotions. It feels like the touch I yearn for, it feels like home, it feels like peace.

[daybringersol]

{derealization}lens

[PT: {derealization}lens. End PT.]

[flag ID in alt text]

A term for people who need to see their internal experiences through the lens of derealisation to understand, process and/or stabilize them. Made with people who experience derealization in mind, but not exclusive.

Colors taken from the derealisation flag [link].

More about {thing}lens [link].

[pilipalaa]

I was writing about all the negative things about myself, "I compare myself to other people", "I'm lazy" and this and that. I stopped and wrote, "But.." hoping to find something a bit positive.

It's been an hour and I'm still here with a pen in my hand, the "but" in front of me and no words to write. It is such a horrific experience to realise you cannot see a drop of goodness in your own self while searching for it all around you.

[goodbye-randoms]

TW: suicidal thoughts, disorders.

storytime of today,

So me & my friend both have a disorder called depersonalization/derealization disorder. Today we hung out & everything was going fine. We went to the store & when we came back she had a depersonalization attack. I never dealt with someone ELSE having one before so i got scared. I was dealing with it the best I could, asking questions, carring her cos she couldn't walk & was scared to, helping her name her feelings, etc. She was scared to do anything. She was also scared of me & felt better w/ me? I understood how she felt but din't know how to deal with someone else having it. I knew she couldn't walk home so i called her dad. He came a few minutes ago from work. But in the mean time she said she hates herself, she's ugly, everyone hates her, her mom doesn't love her she wants to kill herself, etc. Then her dad came, I told her to call me if anything & to be safe. I'm rlly worried & praying 4 her.

WHAT ARE THE DISORDERS?:

[dior-death]

If loving you was a sin, I’d face God and walk backwards into hell.

[moranaaaaaaaa]

Derealisation

[vixensofdeath]

it’s funny how a room you’ve known for years can start seeming unfamiliar. this room doesn’t feel real, this house doesn’t feel real, nothing feels real. I see myself and I wonder is that actually me? I have so many questions about life- everything about it. it’s all so odd to think about and it hurts my head to think about the existence of me and the people around me.

[sage-hazeline]

how do you reconnect to life after being disconnected for so long

[thefluxsystem]

You know what the worst part of having a dissociative disorder is, for me personally?

The emotional amnesia.

Your entire life feels like something that you watched on TV, rather than something that you actually lived through.

You know that some of the most horrific things imaginable have happened to you, and you feel nothing about it. Sure, the memories disgust you on principle, but you don’t feel anything.

It makes you question if anything that you remember is real. If that actually happened, shouldn’t it feel significant? Shouldn’t you be sad, angry, hurt, something?

And to top it all off, nobody understands. Not even yourself.

[fedupperson]

Everytime I go out, i come. Back, heavyhearted, of how I'll never be the person I dream to be, also because I'm never fully comfortable being person that I am.

[ashthewaterghoul]

As someone with dissociative issues, I cannot shut up about how much I love Copia’s dissociation in RHRN.

Just that flat-out refusal to accept the horrible facts of life (in this case Sister dying). His mind trying to manifest the reality he wishes for, and the confusion as he slowly sees what’s actually happening again.

The way how confused he is when he’s suddenly changed into his black robes.

The hazy way he sees reality and his own imagination blending (Sister being tended to by a doctor while he tries to ignore it).

The. Fucking. Balloon. Sequence.

Copia wants away from his problems, so his mind flies him away until he literally crashes back into reality.

The balloon was great way to show it bc I know when my issues start, it does feel like I’m floating, like I’m in a different realm to the rest of the world.

I love it all and how it was done. Tobias Forge, you are a GENIUS.

[someplacehigh]

When will I start feeling less *static noises*

[jack-the-killler]

[httpskulz]

[rapturepoetry]

wretching and vile unbecoming and disgusting look in the mirror and see your body

and you feel sick to your stomach you have the audacity to tear up as if this isn't you

because it doesnt feel like it is

it feels like you're looking at a monster a pitiful shell who is crawling their way through every day in a body that doesnt feel real

in a body that isn't theirs

[bl0w-m3]

All I can think about is what I don’t wanna think about. All I can do is try and get relief.

Relief never comes.

I’m walking around, not even real.

This all feels like a bad trip.

I can see it. I can hear it. I feels like it already happened.

I’m screaming for help. I’m begging and it feels like I’m in a soundproof box.