#triggering stuff

[imakeartwheniwanttodie]

[i-need-to-be-fixed]

I’ve been depressed as long as I’ve been alive crazy isn’t it

[inlovewithpandora]

Hey love💕 I was wondering if you could write a oneshot where neteyam finds out reader harms herself?

Thank for this request anon💗! I hope it meets your expectations!

If anyone has any requests leave them in my asks!

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Part 1 (here) || Part 2 || Part 3

This story was inspired by the song above^

- I'm tired -

Pairing: Neteyam x Fem! Omatikaya gf! reader

Both characters are 19!

Warnings: self harm ( very descriptive) suicide ideation, attempt, extreme angst, slight physical/ emotional abuse

If your not comfortable with this type of writing please click off

Word count: 1,645

You and Neteyam just recently started dating a few weeks ago. The first time you saw him it made a feeling that was foreign to you course through your veins. When you meet him and got to know him he made you feel an emotion you've never felt before, Happiness.

Every time he came by your pod to whisk you away to somewhere special in the forest you felt nothing but pure bliss.

But when you weren't around you him you felt melancholic, lonely, depressed, and every other negative feeling under the sun. The environment you lived in was toxic and it was ripping a piece of you away every day.

You were trying to ignore the pain and heartache but it wasn't working. you were trying to find healthy ways to cope like weaving or hunting but it wasn't working. The only thing that would help is cutting, making small slits into your navy blue skin that would release crimson-colored liquid. Watching the blood drip down your arm is the only thing that would help you feel better and would make the pain stop.

You lived at home with your father and he was an alcoholic. When you were born your mother died while giving birth to you and that was the last day your father showed any positive emotion. He abhorred you for taking the love of his life away and he made sure you knew it every single day.

You were sitting in your part of the pod trying to avoid your father's alcoholic rage but you couldn't because he decided to come find you and spew his hatred all over you.

He came and pulled the curtain back which revealed you sitting on your woven mat. As he was towering over your small frame you could smell the alcohol seeping from his pores, "What are doing in here?!"

"N-nothing father I'm just making a necklace for someone", A couple of days ago you and Neteyam were sitting by a pond and he told you how he needed a new necklace because he lost his other one so you decided to make him one.

"Who is it for?! Is it for that boy you've been running around with?!" He yelled which startled you. You hated when he yelled because it always made you cry. Instead of responding you just sat there silently looking down at the floor which told your father he was correct about his assumption.

He let out a dark chuckle before continuing to yell at you, "He is only using you for your body, do you think someone could really like you?! That someone would want to actually mate with you one day?! You have to be the dumbest na'vi around to think that. Look at you, you're pitiful. Always crying and sulking around this house. You're always cutting your arm like some deranged freak! What boy would ever want someone like that?!" He yelled with venom coming out of his mouth with each word that escaped his lips

All you could do is break down into a crying fit. You felt like your father was right, why would someone want to be with someone who felt like their only escape was harming themselves? You felt like whatever you had going on inside of you could rub off on Neteyam and you didn't want to corrupt him with this sickness.

Your father saw drops of water flowing down your face and it only made him angrier, "WHAT ARE YOU CRYING FOR? HUH? THERE IS NO REASON FOR YOU TO BE SHEDDING ANY TEARS! IF ANYTHING I SHOULD BE THE ONE CRYING, YOU TOOK MY MATE FROM ME! EVER SINCE YOU CAME INTO MY LIFE IT HAS BEEN NOTHING BUT HELL!" He shouted at you furiously

He crouched down to your level and harshly grabbed your bicep, yanking you up so you could stand on your feet. He then extended your arm, looking at all the scars that ran down your skin. He began to speak but this time he wasn't yelling, he was calm but you could still hear the maliciousness in his tone.

"I wish you were the one that died that day, not your mother. Next time you decided to cut yourself make sure you finished the job and go live among Eywa. I can't stand to have you living in my house and making me live in despair." He let go of your arm and threw it to your side. He lifted his alcoholic beverage to his lips and began imbibing enormous amounts of it before walking outside the pod.

As you stood there with sobs emerging from your throat you decided that you were tired. You were tired of your father's emotional and sometimes physical abuse, you looked down at your arm and could see a purple outline on your arm from his tight grip.

You were tired of feeling like this, you need the pain and heartache to stop. You needed this feeling of sorrow to go away. You looked around your pod and grabbed your knife and put it in its sheath and grabbed your shawl and wrapped it around your arms and began walking to Neteyam's Family pod.

You wanted to talk to him and tell him how you felt about him before you went to see the Great Mother.

As you walked you heard a group of girls talking about you as you walked by, "Look at her, She looks awful" one of the girls said while laughing

"Yeah I'm surprised she even came out of her pod, she's been locked up in there for almost a week" one of the other girls chimed in

They continued saying all these nasty things about you and it made you feel even worse than before. Neteyam was in the tree above, looking down at the event that was unfolding. He watched you run away to a deeper part of the forest. He immediately climbed down the tree and began to follow you to see if you were okay.

He hasn't seen you in almost a week and he's been worried about you. He came by your pod to try and talk to you but every time he came your father sent him away.

As you were running you didn't know where you going until you found yourself in front of a small pond. You sat down and looked at your reflection in the water, as you looked at yourself you couldn't even recognize the person you saw anymore. It was like you changed into a totally different person. You looked at yourself and felt disgusted, you felt like you looked repulsive. As you looked at your puffy eyes and the dark circles around them you felt so much pain and agony.

You pulled your knife out of its sheath and pressed it again your skin. You knew by doing this it would make you feel so much better, you would finally be at peace. You could finally see your mother and live among your ancestors.

As you were about to penetrate your skin and create a gash so deep that it would bleed out until you took your last breath, you heard someone call out your name.

"Y/N!" Neteyam called out. You turned and saw so many emotions on his face, he looked at you horrified by what he saw you doing to your body.

As you looked at him all you could is cry even harder, "Neteyam please leave"

You didn't want him to see you in this state, you didn't want him to see you so broken.

"Y/N what's wrong? What's going on?" Neteyam asked you as he sat down next to you. As he looked at your arm he saw multiple old scars on your arm and a bruise on your bicep, as you followed his gaze all you could do was apologize to him even though you didn't know why you were doing it.

"I-I’m sorry Neteyam I just can't handle the pain anymore, I'm tired of feeling so miserable. I'm always crying and I'm so weak. Nobody likes me not even my own father, the person who's supposed to love me the most. I feel like I'm going crazy, I feel like I'm a freak" you told him  as you let out sobs in between every few words

"I don't want to live Neteyam. I want to be with Eywa where I can feel peace, I need to feel peace."

As you rambled without properly thinking clearly, Neteyam was horrified by your words. "Baby, why would you say that?" Neteyam asked you as his voice broke a little. He hated hearing you speak about yourself so harshly and it broke his heart to hear that you wanted to end your life

"Because it's true! Every single thing I said was true"

"Y/N you are not a freak, you are beautiful and I love you with every fiber in my body. Whatever is going on with your father I will help you figure it out. I will be there for you and help you through these feelings until they have faded away. I will be here for you always, but you can't leave me. I want you to stay here with me so we can grow old together, Okay?" he talked to you with so much conviction in his voice some tears slowly streamed down his face

"Okay, Neteyam" is all you could muster up and say. You wrapped your arms around his body and clung to him. He embraced you and kissed you on the cheek " These feelings won't last forever, we'll get through this together" As you laid your head on his shoulder for the first time you felt like someone cared about you. As you laid in his embrace you felt a feeling you'd been longing for, something you wanted for a long time.

Love & Peace

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I hope you enjoyed💗!

Likes, Comments, and Reblogs are appreciated💗!

©️inlovewithpandora ━━━ 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟑 | All rights reserved. Do not repost, reupload, translate, modify, or claim my work as your own.

[lanzapony]

How do people become popular in the TCC. Asking for a friend.

[the-gonmen]

Nothing bad has happened but I have a terrible itch. I want to sh so badly…

[rantingxoxo]

how do i cut deeper guys, i only do shallow baby cuts, i want scars but i’m afraid please help

[gl1tt3r-gutz-and-r0b0tz-sl]

So, Megastar is one of those ships I cannot get behind. Cause I really don't see it, for me to ship something it has to have atleast the characters seeing eachother as equals, which doesn't happen with Megastar in most continuities.

I do ship crack stuff from time to time but Megastar doesn't work for me :/

Also, some megastar shippers can be the worst about their ship. I will always think that shipping wars are dumb, regardless the ship in question.

But that's just my opinion, feel free to disagree.

Well, the thing is, I agree with you to an extent. Don't get me wrong, I love my angst and toxic ships, but to the extent some things happen is a little insane. I mean, I vent my feelings and experiences through characters too, but, to threaten, harass, or pitch a fit over a fictional ship is wild. (I'm talking about the shippers when I said that btw.)

I don't mind their dynamic in their shows or even the ship itself. It's the fact that proship correlates with much MUCH worse things, and so when that person put it unironically in their tags, it gave me the ickiest of icks. I mean, using the excuse that fictional abuse is okay because it's fictional is like saying, "Oh, that child got molested. But it's okay, they ain't real."

Abusive themes are supposed to disgust the viewer, to let them know that it isn't good or okay. I'm not talking about kinks or anything, I'm talking full-on bash head into the ground abuse. If a plot romantizes an abusive relationship, it was either written poorly or as a way to vent.

I mean, Arcee gets her cooch ripped out in my au. Themes dark like this are meant to disgust people, to disturb them.

So, for any fucking fit throwers seeing this, I'm not calling your ship the antichrist. Just cool the fuck down and stop grouping it with weird ass pedo tags. Like, fr.

I'm fucking weird too, but not a creeper! Enjoy your toxic homoerotic robot ship all you want! Just. Don't. Tag. It. Like. That!

If it makes you happy, and it isn't illegal or morally corrupt, please do it, consume the media you like. I'm part Austrian and German, but that doesn't mean I'm a ship-killing Nazi or some shit.

[zoeykallus]

Hey! This is a bit much, so there is a trigger warning for the rest of this.

I had someone that I thought was a friend 'out' me in front of a bunch of guys. We had been on the topic of sex and my 'friend', knowing I have a history with SA and r*pe, made an offhand comment about:

'Well, you started early in your childhood. I personally think 5 years old is a little young, but what do I know?'

I guess she was trying to look cool in front of the guys? Or make herself look better? I've cut off the friend, but the looks I got from the guys in that group make me sick.

Regardless, I was wondering how you think the Batch (+Gregor and Fives, if you think it would fit?) would react to someone saying something like this to their friends or partner when the Batcher didn't know about it. Or, at least someone making fun of their friend or partners SA/r*pe trauma in a public setting like this.

I know that this is a lot, so please don't feel pressured to do this at all! If you need to delete this, it is 1000% fine. I do want to say that I'm good, and things are okay now, just so you don't worry about that. I love you, I love your work, and thank you for all that you do! Good luck, best wishes, and much love!

- 🪼

Aloha!

First off, I'm sorry you made this experience, not only the violation, this breach of your physical (as well as mental) integrity, but also this thoughtless and unreflective, rude behavior of your former friend.

Ooof. I thought about this one for a very long time, keeping it in my drafts for even longer. Opening the file, thinking for a moment, and closing it again. I have long thought about whether I can and want to write something about it. But these are the wrong questions. This is more about whether I should. Finally, I have decided to go into the subject, hoping to be able to provide some comfort.

The HCs are relatively short and to the point, at least that was my goal. I didn't want to go into too much depth, especially since I wanted to include all the characters you asked for and leave out too many triggers.

The focus is mostly, almost only, on the guys' reaction to mentioned friend.

I'm glad to read that you are in a good/safe place now! Thanks for letting me know 💜

The Bad Batch/Fives HCs x Reader - Outrageous And Thoughtless

Trigger Warnings: Mention Of Abuse/ SA/Hurt/Mention Of Traumatic Events/Strong Language/(18+)

Situation:

In the presence of your partner, a friend makes a remark regarding your past and reveals sexual abuse you were subjected to in the past. Something that your batcher does not know yet.

Hunter

At first, he can't quite grasp what he has just heard. Immediately afterward, his keen senses perceive how the situation overtakes you, panics you and makes you feel insecure. He frowns in annoyance and turns to your friend who has been talking so thoughtlessly. "Will you please back off!!! That was very inappropriate!" Your heart races, plagued by memories and above all the fear that Hunter now sees you in a different light, you stand there rooted to the spot, all muscles tense. Adrenaline is produced in your body, as in a fight or flight situation. Hunter approaches you, taking your hand carefully, tenderly. "Take a deep breath," he says softly, "And exhale again." As your acquaintance is about to speak up again, Hunter interrupts with a sharp look. His expression clearly says that silence is the best option now. Your hand trembles in his, and Hunter pulls back with you, away from everyone else present. He looks at you, quietly, gently. He smiles tentatively.

"It's all good. You're safe with me. You know that, right?" You nod, of course you know you are safe with him, and you are very grateful for that. "Good," he says contentedly, "You don't have to explain anything to me. Everything is okay. Take a breath first. You can talk to me anytime you want, but you don't have to." You take a shaky breath and nod again. "Thank you," you say softly. Hunter kisses your temple tenderly. "There's no need to thank me. That you are safe and secure with me is a given."

Echo

His eyes widen. Echo stares at your friend and grits his teeth. His gaze wanders to you and he sees the anger and panic bubbling under your surface. His hand clenches into a fist. He would like to break your friend's nose, but he pulls himself together as best he can. "How dare you say something so insensitive, so thoughtless?" Your friend looks at him in surprise. As they are about to answer, however, Echo raises his hand to interrupt your friend. "Don't bother. I don't expect a meaningful answer from someone with so little subtlety," he says, growling. Your friend looks at you, smiling, trying to salvage the situation more poorly than good, but Echo puts himself between the two of you, his anger almost palpable. "I think the evening is over, you should leave now," he says harshly.

His tone doesn't tolerate any backtalk, and no one dares to contradict him. His shoulders are tense, you can see it in his posture. When you are alone, a part of you does not dare to look him in the eye. You have the uneasy feeling that everything is different now, that Echo perceives you differently. But Echo's feelings for you don't shrink in any way, he has the same sincere respect as before, and you won't lose his affection anytime soon. "Look at me," he says softly. As your eyes meet, he smiles and says, "I hope you'll forgive my outburst, my interfering. What came out of your friend's mouth was incredibly tactless." You swallow, nod, finally daring to take a breath. Echo spreads his arms wide, and you automatically lean into his embrace, grateful for his closeness, protection and understanding.

Wrecker

He has just turned over the grill when he hears the words. His brothers are also all sitting at the table, with you and a friend you brought along. It has suddenly become very quiet, only the sizzle of the grill can be heard. Wrecker spins around the huge tongs in his hand. He blinks, within seconds he is torn between worry, anger and confusion. Worry and anger prevail and the handle of the tongs creaks under his hardening grip. He looks directly at your friend and says, "Why do you expose her like that in public? That's not something you do with a friend." Your friend, who doesn't really think much and just wanted to stand out among the men, realizes that the attempt is about to backfire. "That's a good question," growls Crosshair, who moves the toothpick back and forth between his lips with a piercing look. That's the first sentence he says tonight. You sit silently in between. For a moment, you toy with the idea of forcing a laugh or running away, doing something to take away this feeling of exposure. But you feel heavy as lead, as if you were stuck on the camping chair.

Hunter says quietly but clearly to your guest, "It's best if you leave now." Wrecker has put the barbecue tongs in Echo's hand and comes over to you, somberly eyeing your friend as they nervously make their way out of the way, hastily avoiding his gaze. Wrecker sits down in the chair next to you, grasping your hand tenderly. "What would you like to do now, dear?" he asks gently. You look at him questioningly. "What?" "Do you want to talk? Do you want to be alone? Should we just keep enjoying the evening?" he asks. You take a deep breath. "Can we pretend that didn't happen just now?" you ask quietly. As if on cue, movement comes into the round. Tech gets up and starts setting the table, Echo continues to tend to the grill, Hunter hands out drinks, Crosshair gets a deck of cards from the Marauder, and Wrecker stays with you. He acts normal, he doesn't press you, he doesn't ask questions, but he stays close to you just in case you still need a hug or a listening ear. Neither he nor his brothers will ever bring up the subject again, but if you want to talk, you can count on Wrecker.

Tech

He's very direct himself sometimes, but what he just heard is way off the mark. Tech is sitting next to you and your friend is sitting across from you. He lifts his eyes from the cup he was looking into earlier, lost in thought, and looks at the person sitting across from you. "That was very inappropriate," he says, frowning critically. He can't for the life of him imagine what could tempt a person, a friend at that, to abuse your trust like this. He is sure that you told this person these things in confidence, because he himself knew nothing about it until now. Since you neither deny that the statement is true nor do anything else in this way, he assumes that there must be some form of truth in it. "Why? It's not a lie. I thought you knew about it," the friend says promptly. Tech can feel you tensing up next to him, he can guess how uncomfortable you are with all of this, even though no words are crossing your lips at the moment. "No, I didn't. And even if I had known, that's not a subject you just bring up casually. It's a traumatic subject, and the way you deal with it is very inconsiderate."

You finally say quietly, "Maybe we should postpone this meeting and back off." Tech looks at you, his expression softening. He nods at you and takes your hand as you both stand up. Your friend tries to persuade you to stay, but Tech says, "I don't think we'll be doing this again," and gently but firmly pulls you with him. On the way home, he says, "I have to say I'm surprised. I thought you were good friends." "I thought so too." Tech says, "You need to pick your friends better." His hand gently squeezes yours as he asks, "Are you okay?" "I'm confused" you admit, "And I'm scared". He stops and looks at you. "Of what?" "Of you seeing me differently now," you admit. He shakes his head, softly stroking your face, "You're still the same person, the person I love. Nothing about that has changed. What I've come to know and love about you is still there, no one can just take that away from you."

Crosshair

He's so perplexed, the toothpick he was chewing on before falls out of his mouth. Crosshair stares at your friend, who thinks they're being particularly funny or whatever. Then his gaze moves to you, and he sees how you seem to be getting smaller and smaller, because your colleague keeps talking. "Shut up," he finally snaps, giving the blabbermouth a sharp look. All is quiet, Crosshair's somber expression seems to unnerve your friend. "'Say, are you shitting me?' How do you come to talk such private things entrusted to you like that, as if you were telling a joke? Did they drop you on your head too many times when you were a kid? Or bathed you too hot?" Your friend just stares dumbly at Crosshair, wide-eyed. This reaction is probably unexpected. The Sniper growls as he pulls a fresh toothpick from his belt and puts it between his lips, "You better get out of here before I get the idea of hurting you."

Everything about this situation has surprised you so much and thrown you off course, that you simply remain silent and observe the situation as if you didn't even belong to it. Only when your friend is gone and Crosshair addresses you do you awaken from your rigidity. He says, "We're not inviting that person again. Only over my dead body." You nod and say quietly, "Okay." He frowns worriedly as he sees your strange expression. "I have to say a few things I understand better now, though. Like your reticence when we first met, your jumpiness at every touch" You absolutely don't want to talk about it, you just want to forget that Crosshair knows about it now. As if he reads your mind, he says, "We don't invite that person anymore and this never happened". You nod and breathe such a sigh of relief that he notices it too. "Hey Kitten, but just so you know if you want to talk, we can do that, okay?" Again you nod, grateful for his understanding, grateful that he has once again acted as your shield as he so often does.

Fives

His gaze jumps back and forth between you and your friend. His muscles tense and he almost feels a bit sick, from anger, but above all from concern for you. He can see from your reaction that unfortunately it wasn't just a very tasteless joke. There are a few of his brothers present, and he can roughly imagine how exposed you must feel right now. So his first reaction is to remove you from the crowd. Fives grabs your hand and pulls you with him. "We have to go now," he says with a grin to the crowd and says goodbye. He gives your friend a very sharp, admonishing look as they attempt to follow you, though. "Just stay away," he hisses at them, on the verge of lashing out, he just barely holds back. "Fives... I," you start, but break off again. You don't know what to say to him at all. "It's okay, you don't have to explain anything to me," he says softly and walks with you out of the bar into the open. He takes one last look to make sure you weren't followed, especially by your so-called friend, then calls a cab for you.

"Fives?" you ask him as you sit together in the back of the cab. "Yeah?" You gulp and ask, "Now that you know about it....," but break off again. "What's up with that? Do you want to talk about it?" he gently prods. You shake your head, "Not really. Not now anyway." Fives nods and says, "Then we don't have to talk about it either, sweetie. Relax, you'll talk to me when you feel ready. And if that's never the case, for whatever reason, then I have no problem with that either" "You're the best," you say with relief, leaning into the arm he puts around you. "I know"

Ko-Fi (If you feel like giving me some coffee)

I decided to not tag anyone, just in case.

[keeponwatching]

All his life, Uea has been touched, pulled, and put into situations that he never wanted to be in. Then King comes along and confesses to him. So he makes an ultimatum, testing King to see if he will stick around long enough to see him as a person and not just another notch on his bedpost.

[sheriffgrimes-archerdixon]

They hurt you I hurt them.

Request: hey! I don’t know whether you’re still taking requests but I was wondering whether you could do something where y/n gets hurt somehow like someone purposely hurts her and stuff and how Daryl would react/ what Daryl would do? You can make it as violent/ nonviolent as you’d like! Thank you!

Daryl Dixon x fem! Reader

Please read below! Important‼️

Massive trigger warnings: graphic, gore, swearing, SA (not detailed), torture of reader- the enemies in this will be alpha and the whisperers so I’ll be adding some pretty fucked up things so if you are sensitive to anything relating to blood and gore then please read at your own discretion. Thank you.

It all happened so quickly. You didn’t expect it… no one did. Lydia was with you all safe and sound but in return Alpha had decided to take you. She called it payback but you called it pure terror,

“If they give my daughter back then I’ll give you back. Unharmed. But by the looks of things they won’t be giving her back to me… she’s chosen the wrong path… they clearly don’t care about you.” Alphas words struck a chord within your heart but you remained deathly silent, your wrists were tied behind your back, your back against a tree where you stood ropes hugging your waist tightly not allowing you to move in the slightest way. Ropes were all tied around your legs to keep you from kicking or attacking in anyway. You were truly vulnerable to her… to the whisperers. If they wanted to leave you they would and you wouldn’t be able to do anything but one terrifying factor of it all was the fact that if they wanted to kill you then they could. You knew Daryl would say they were just bluffing to scare you but no if alpha wanted to kill you then she would. She had no mercy. She was a merciless, cruel monster. After a while she got closer to you your eyes locking with her sky blue eyes full of nothing but raging anger no other emotion in her eyes. Maybe she was the first human being who truly didn’t have a heart. “I want to make a deal with you… if you take the place of Lydia I won’t hurt you…” she said with a small smile. She couldn’t be serious? You licked over your lips shaking your head “no.” You said and she tilted her head to the side as if asking why “I don’t betray my family.” You continued before you spat in her face her face soon contorting with anger but she held herself back from hurting you.

As she wiped the spit off of her face she stared at you angrily, “I tried to make a deal with you. I did. But I have to take this another way so you understand… I don’t want to hurt you. But I’ll have to if your people don’t give my daughter back to me… I want to get that through your head. None of what’s going to happen to you is personal… just unlucky that you got chosen.” She said cruelly your eyes flicking around desperately trying to find some sympathy in the eyes of the whisperers around you but all of them held the same cold bloodthirsty look. “If we just go back now we can sort this out. Please.” You spoke, you after spending so long with both Daryl and Rick had developed both of their traits.. you wanted to fight alpha there and then but you also wanted to desperately try to calm her down and find another alternative to whatever she had planned for you. “Oh… cute. I would. But how do I know you’re not lying to me? Because you and your people lied to me quite a bit.” She said and you stared in silence. It was true. “I’m going to make sure your people know that if they mess with us any longer I will kill you next time. Or maybe I’ll just leave your head as a nice present for them, hm.” She said it so casually, it sent a shiver down your spine. You tried to not react but it was terrifying. You watched as she turned to look at two of the whisperers off to the side their masks bloody and torn making you believe they were the ones who always did her dirty work. She then gave them a curt nod holding a knife out to one of them and you quickly squeezed your eyes shut taking in a deep breath as you held your breath. You tried to not be scared but you were terrified. How were you supposed to survive this?

“No no no… please… you don’t-“ your words were cut off as one of the cold blooded monsters put their hand over your mouth silencing you before the one with the knife pressed the tip of it onto your knee cap “please please please” you begged, your begging muffled and desperate as you shook your head to the side eyes wide in pure horror. Alpha stood in front of you watching you a smirk on her face as the hand over your mouth only tightened “no, don’t,” alpha soon spoke- you could already feel the agony that you were about to endure “take your hand off her mouth. Let her scream. Her screams will attract the dead.” She said your heart dropping into your stomach. She was right. If you screamed the dead would hear and wouldn’t even care about the whisperers… they’d only care about you… because your flesh was the only thing that smelt like food to them. But before you could even say anything the whisperer drove the knife straight into your knee your eyes widening your jaw dropping as agony ripped throughout you. “Make sure she can’t walk.” Alpha soon demanded ordering them around and those words terrified you. What did she mean? And if you couldn’t think it could get any worse the knife that had been pushed further into your knee was harshly twisted, the screams you tried to contain being unbearable as agony swayed throughout you a gut wrenching scream leaving your lips your body writhing. Maybe you should’ve accepted the deal but no way would you betray your family like that. No fucking way. The knife was soon ripped out of your knee your eyes squeezing shut as you tried to stay quiet whimpers of pain leaving your lips “surprising…” alpha hummed out seemingly amused “she’s stronger than she looks.”

“Might be strong but won’t be strong after I’m done with her,” a man spoke- he was tall, someone you didn’t quite recognise. He wore no mask, his face was all cut up… as if he had gone through hell. As if because of him going through hell gave him a reason to put you through hell. “Untie the bitch.” He continued the whisperers unsure before nodding, the one with the knife cutting through the ropes that held you before you nearly collapsed onto the ground, the man’s rough hands grasping onto you as he dragged you away from where the whisperers were, forcefully dragging you so you had to walk some as if trying to make you feel even more pain before he shoved you forward as you fell down, your knee bending that slight bit making you cry out in pain “shut up. The quieter you are the easier it’ll be on you…” he said his cold eyes terrifying you. Was he going to use you? For his own needs? Your breathing soon became ragged as you shook your head side to side over and over again. You were vulnerable. You tried to scoot yourself backwards trying to get to safety trying to find something to attack him with but you couldn’t you were weak. You watched as he took his belt off “no please… don’t do this. Don’t.” You said, begging him but he didn’t respond his hand soon wrapping around your ankles as he yanked you closer to him your eyes over spilling with tears “please I’ll do anything.” You cried out but he was too strong for you and then and there was the moment you realised he was going to hurt you… he was taking every part of dignity you had left away and you couldn’t stop him and so you laid there as he gripped your wrists holding them tightly, sobs leaving your lips as you simply had to accept the fact that you couldn’t defend yourself. Not anymore.

~

They left you. He left you. Cold and hurt, jeans torn into pieces beside you as you remained curled in a ball vision blurred with tears, tiredness, pain and loss of blood. At this point you were just accepting death. You would happily oblige to go with the grim reaper then and there if he appeared in front of you. Your body trembled your lips red with blood, both eyes bruised and face cut up. You put up a fight, you tried to- and so he cut everywhere he could. Saying you deserved it. Afterwards Alpha and her handymen attacked you, if you hadn’t been put through enough already they beat you to a pulp until you were left practically convulsing in agony. You shivered as your cries had died down to little sniffles and occasional sobs. You were scared. You just wanted death to grant you with your final wish of dying peacefully but death too was mercilessly and unkind.

As you began to sway in and out of consciousness groans and voices were heard, the voices were far away the groans close… incredibly close… and you peeled your eyes open tiredly your blurred vision picking up on a stumbling figure coming straight towards you and so in a meek last attempt you cried out, the voices you heard growing closer the voices blending together to create a muffled sound your head pounding and aching as you closed your eyes tight, a sound of an arrow whistling through the air being your last thing to grip onto… maybe it was Daryl. Had he come to save you?

Daryl stood rigid as he looked around, he was greatly concerned for your well-being. He knew the whisperers were unhinged monsters. His eyes caught onto a walker that was stumbling closer and closer to a body resting in the ground, the persons bare legs on display… no dead person would even think of taking their jeans off if they were dying and so in a split second Daryl was firing a arrow straight at the Walker watching as it fell dead onto the floor “keep searching… we need clues.” He ordered his friends as they all moved in different directions in search of you, dog was by his side sniffing the ground as daryl continued moving forward slowly but surely. He didn’t want the person on the ground to be a dead one waiting for it’s final meal. And as he continued taking slow steps forward dog suddenly began barking, loudly, “what is it? What is it?” He asked as he got closer and closer dog soon running up to the person on the ground “dog don’t-“ but that’s when he fell deathly silent his heart dropping into his stomach as he dropped his crossbow down onto the floor his knees weakening as he dropped down just beside your tired body “y/n? Y/n?” He watched as your eyes peeled open “keep your eyes open… hey… hey… eyes on me. Look at me.” He spoke softly comfortingly but also in a stern demanding tone- the tone he used when he was worried and concerned. He couldn’t have you passing out and dying now could he? “Guys!! Everyone! Get over here right now!” He yelled out to his friends hearing their footsteps grow closer and closer the sound of individual shocked gasps leaving their mouths “you all watch my back, keep walkers off my back… I’m going to carry her… and make sure the freaks aren’t around here. If they are don’t fucking hesitate to kill every one of them.” He said to them.

He shrugged his jacket off quickly wrapping it around you “Jerry… I need something to wrap around her waist.” He said, the larger man quickly removing his own jacket. It wasn’t much but it was something. Daryl then took the jacket quickly wrapping it around your bottom half to make you feel more safe even though you had clearly been put through something no one should have to go through. He then lifted you up into his arms a whimper leaving your lips “I know… I know… I’m sorry.” He grunted out quietly to you, he knew your knee was still bleeding but right now you needed to be somewhere warm before you not only bled out but also died of hypothermia and so you all set off, you falling in and out of consciousness Daryl’s voice keeping you wide awake every time he said something loudly to you. It scared you enough to wake you up but that was a good thing. If you didn’t stay awake you would die. No doubt about it.

“Right in front of me.” Daryl said nodding forward at a group of walkers stumbling, and usually they would test to see whether any of them were living but because Daryl had already said he didn’t want any of them to live every single one of the walkers were killed. Whether they were breathing or not. The walk back home was quick but he tried to be slow for you, to make it as painless as possible and so once he arrived home at the safety of hilltop he was quick to rush you into the infirmary, shock and horror on everyone’s faces as they saw you in such a way. He quickly laid you down onto the bed wrapping a blanket over your top half, lots of blankets in fact- you needed warmth and your top half seemed to be unharmed but your bottom half needed a looking to. Especially your knee and so he remained silent allowing the doctors to examine you his breath held in anticipation. He was terrified for you. He didn’t want to lose you. You had both gone through so much already. “She’s gonna need stitches… and a cast… her knee is…” Harlan spoke visibly horrified and Daryl stared at him “what do you mean?” He asked worriedly making the doctor gulp, he had never seen the doctor so uncomfortable and worried and so he knew the condition you were in was severe “her knee as experienced severe trauma… I won’t be able to solve the issues without an x-ray… it could be a fracture… bones could be out of place… if anything id have to operate.” He said anxiously and Daryl stared silently… he knew what this meant. They were low on all medical pain meds to even knock you out unconscious. “I would say amputate but that would take a lot longer to heal.” He said your ears picking up on that as your eyes widen “no no please no” you struggle out weakly Daryl’s hand quickly grasping onto yours his other hand stroking over your head “we won’t amputate… it’s okay… you’re okay I promise.” He spoke worriedly. “There’s no other way?” He soon whispered out to Harlan and as he shook his head Daryl closed his eyes. “Okay.” He knew this would be painful for both you and him but they needed to stop the blood as quick as possible otherwise you’d be on your death bed. Literally.

“No no please… don’t please… don’t.” You sobbed out begging Daryl your frightened eyes remaining on his eyes wide as you began hyperventilating “she’s gonna pass out Daryl. It’s okay. Just trust me on this. Hold her down.” Harlan spoke pleading with him and Daryl took a deep breath looking at you before he nodded his large hand quickly grabbing a hold of your wrists holding them down, his other arm wrapping around you as if to hold you still but also comfort you at the same time. “Got her.” Daryl confirmed watching as Harlan began the procedure to stop the blood and try to fix your knee and within seconds your screams began piercing around the room Daryl’s eyes prickling with tears as he held you tightly “Im sorry… I’m so sorry…” he looked down into your eyes the fear in yours making his heart break as he kept a hold of you “it’s okay. You’re safe. You’re gonna be okay.” And what seemed like years later, when in reality it was only 5 agonisingly long minutes your screams came to a stop your eyes fluttering shut as your body fell limp daryl keeping a hold of you as he simply watched you. He felt helpless. He wanted to do so much more to help you but he couldn’t… gods was this awful.

-

The surgery was long and painful. But you got through it somehow. You heard conversations here and there but soon enough you were in silence your body on something comfortable as you slept peacefully, a hand holding onto yours tightly and soon enough your eyes fluttered open. Your eyes were sore and tired but you tried to push through it as you looked to the side. Daryl was sat beside you a make shift IV in his arm seemingly transferring his own blood into your blood stream and once he saw you were awake a small concerned smile tugged at his lips “hey… how are you feeling?” But you instead of responding simply glanced at the blood coming from his arm and going into yours “oh… you needed a blood transfusion… I offered straight away.” He murmured with a light smile and you gave his hand a slight squeeze as in a way to thank him. You soon noticed the way you had a stuffed teddy right beside you a few homemade cards near the wall and you couldn’t help but smile “Judith wanted to make some… everyone else was just as worried… they still are.” He murmured softly before he raised your hand up to his lips as he pressed a kiss to the back of your hand a soft sigh leaving his lips “I’m okay.” You soon said and he nodded his head “I know you are. You always are… you’re strong as hell.” He murmured with a soft chuckle but he meant it, your smile growing wider. You were weak and tired so didn’t really know what to say besides you were traumatised from everything. “Hurt hurt me… really hurt me.” You soon spoke and Daryl’s eyes softened yet anger still consumed them. He was going to kill whoever hurt you. “Alpha let it happen…” you said again and Daryl was quick to shush you “don’t… don’t tell me… not now… tell me when you’re in a better headspace.. you need your rest. But I promise you right now they won’t hurt you ever again.” He assured softly. He wanted you to talk about it but not right now… you were already in a vulnerable state. “How do you know that?” You asked quietly and he looked at you seriously, “because I’m going to kill every single one of them.” He said and you frowned shaking your head but he nodded “yes y/n. They deserve it. They hurt you so I hurt them… goin’ to make sure I put them through the worst pain ever. Make them suffer.” He said honestly. He would’ve said so much more, how he wanted to cut their tongues out and their eyes too, cut their fingernails off to make them all scream but he didn’t want to make you feel worse… he’d leave you thinking he was just going to kill them but really he was going to torture them like they had tortured you. Simple. It had always been that way from the very beginning… if anyone hurt you.. Daryl would hurt them back. Daryl didn’t care who it was… if they hurt you then he would hurt them… but that man who hurt you… well… he sure as hell was gonna pay…

He had it comin’

[juliaseddiary]

Weight update:

Sw: 86,6kg

Cw.84,6kg

Gw: 55 kg

Ugw:50kg

Only had two meals this weekend so I’m kinda happy about my weightloss but it’s still a long way to go

My last weight on Thursday was 85,2 kg btw so I lost 0,6 kg

[imakeartwheniwanttodie]

Even when I’m happy

[personfrommars2008]

[that-therian-cat04]

[lanzapony]

Why is Adam Lanza low-key thinspo and a coach at the same time istg 😭😭😭

[der3ality]