#cassandra cain text

[myrefugeblog]

Hoje é meu aniversário, então...

Batkids e aniversários.

• O primeiro aniversário que Dick se lembra foi comemorado enquanto eles estavam em turnê. O circo estava em São Petersburgo, seus pais o levou para ver a Praça de Santo Isaac, onde as primeiras rosas estavam surgindo. Depois que ele foi adotado por Bruce, Dick sempre visita as rosas que foram plantadas por Martha. Ele sempre presenteia os membros de sua família com uma rosa em

• O último aniversário que Jason teve com sua mãe, eles estavam passando muita necessidade. O dinheiro estava apertado, mas ela conseguiu um pedaço de bolo e uma vela e encorajou Jason a fazer um pedido. Hoje em dia, não importa o quão irritado com a batfamília Jason esteja, ele faz questão de preparar o bolo de aniversário deles.

• Tim não se lembra de ter tido uma festa de aniversário. Seus pais sempre trouxeram "presentes" (objetos que provavelmente deveriam pertencer a museus) que eles afirmam ter sido escolhidos para comemorar a data, mas nunca estavam presentes. Desde que Tim se tornou integrante da família no dia de seu aniversário tanto os Waynes, quanto seus amigos, se reúnem na mansão (que inevitavelmente precisa de reformas depois de cada festa).

• Steph manteve uma tradição com sua mãe de ter ao menos uma refeição juntas no dia do seu aniversário. Como sua mãe trabalhave em regime de plantão em hospitais em alguns anos elas se reuniam no café da manhã, em outros no almoço, ou mesmo no jantar. Depois que ela se integrou aos Waynes, apesar de seus protestos "Eu não sou sua filha Bruce" reuniões com toda batfamília antes da patrulha no dia do seu aniversário se tornaram comuns.

• Damian não teve a infância mais ajustada de todas, mas no seu aniverário ele e Talia sempre estavam em uma misssão. Uma maneira conveniente deles terem o dia inteiro sozinhos, nesses dias Talia incentivava Damian a agir mais livrimente. Depois de ir para Gotham ela ainda faz visitas na semana do aniversário de Damian, normalmente no fim de semana.

• Cass nunca comemorou aniversário antes de ser adotada. Ela escolheu comemorar dia 20 de março, Cass prefere pegar uma pessoa da família e viajar para um local que nenhum dos dois tenha visitado ainda.

• Duke passa os dias (manhã e tarde) do seu aniversário fora de patrulha, ele passa com sua família e visitando seus parentes. Durante a noite ele passa em patrulha com toda a batfamília. No fim de semana, após seu aniversário, Duke faz uma festa na mansão.

[fanaticalthings]

Bruce Wayne except he texts like an ominous boomer

wdym you can't tell if he's threatening them?

Based on this post by @mysterycitrus :)

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Bonus:

Happy birthday, Tim 🥰

[bruciemilf]

“Cass should be Batman” “Dick should be Batman” “Jason should be Batman” the real question is: Who tf would wanna be Batman lmaoo

[thedevilundercover]

I was thinking (shocking, I know) and I think the bat kids should have a little auction/market amongst themselves but for like stolen clothing

Like every three months they congregate in a fucking walmart parking lot (bc there’s way too much of them) at 3 am and they trade favours and stolen clothing for funsies.

There are some rules though like; It’s a strictly bat kid thing, no one else is allowed and the clothes must be of family members and family adjacents

Jason and Bruce’s clothes are always in demand bc theyre so fucking big.

*ehem* now here is my rendition of what would happen in one of these auction.

Tim: I’ll take the B/P route for a week if you give me your purple sweatshirt

Steph: Nuh uh 2 weeks or nothing

Dick: ✨guess what I got✨

every Bat kid looking at him, knowing what he was going to take out

Batkids, in synch: show us

Dick, pulling out one of Bruce’s oversized sweaters:

The whole group excluding Dick: Ỉ̸̝̱̪̞̃̅̔̂͜͝ ̸̞͑̊w̸̡̱̙̫̱̯̲̅̈́ȃ̴͖͎̠͔͇͊̂̚n̶̡̧̜͉͙̝̜͑̍t̵̺̭͍̪͛̐̈́ͅ ̸̹͓̳̂̓̇i̵̢̪̰̻̤̎̈̓ͅt̵̜̳̝͘

[ultravhasart]

Presenting Cassandra Cain!

[incorrectbatfam]

Bruce Wayne is the kind of guy who would rent out a theater to see his daughter perform but won't pay for Spotify Premium

[bluejayscrying]

all the bats decide to build a 'rage room' for Jason where it's just a ton of Random shit that he can smash. they don't even lock him in there or anything, but Alfred likes to make cakes he can smash Cass leaves her punching bags in there, and dick leaves his most prized possession, the discowing suit, the LIGHT OF HIS LIFE for Jason to destroy. they don't talk about it. but it helps.

His eyes get the tiniest bit green at dinner and suddenly theres a new room in the manor with a sign saying 'Jasons smash!!' filled with probably priceless breakables

jason gets to smash shit, and bruce gets a way to conveniently dispose of those awful gifts he gets from other rich people.

[violent138]

Tim, looking around the darkened corridor: "You think it's a good idea to be breaking into random places right now?"

Jason said nothing, fumbling in his pockets.

Dick: "You live here, don't you?" Which gets everyone's attention laser-focused.

Jason just cast him a look, getting the door open.

Steph entered first, smacking into something that falls over. "Jeez." She complained, stumbling backward until Cass steadied her by the shoulders. "Sorry, that's my bad."

Duke turned on the lights in one motion, making everyone blink and wince.

"Get off me." Damian snapped, and Dick carefully let him go, letting him limp angrily into a chair. He frowned, scrutinizing the place. "You live here? Why would anyone--"

"Guys." Dick rubbed his eyes over the mask, cutting off Damian and Jason’s sharp answer. "First aid kit?" Dick asked Jason tiredly.

Jason nodded, moving to get it and heard Damian ask "What?" in response to a patented glare he must be getting.

Tim had made a beeline for the kitchen. "Dude, why do you have a singular set of dishes? And why are there just guns in this cabinet?"

Jason scoffed, handing Dick the kit. "Didn't realize I was running a fucking bed and breakfast."

"There's guns in this cabinet too!" Tim shook his head, opening and closing two more. "Oh good, just large knives in this one."

At Tim's raised eyebrows, Jason went into the kitchen and shooed Cass down the counter she was perched on, grabbing the paper plates he kept in a drawer and shoving them into Tim's chest.

Glancing at the way Steph was rubbing her neck, slouched at the table, Jason grabbed two ice packs, sliding one her way and throwing the other to Damian.

Duke, taking a book off Jason's meticulously organized shelf: "Why do you have seven copies of Pride and Prejudice? Did you keep forgetting you bought it, or--?"

Jason, storming over to put the book back. "Stop."

Dick looked up from the wound he was stitching. "Are they different at at all?"

"Are they in different languages?" Steph asked.

"Did you barter them for food? Because your fridge is fucking empty." Tim reported.

Jason groaned, realizing that they weren't going to drop it. "One has a different introduction and one is the zombies version. And yes, the rest are the same, now could you all stop touching stuff?"

"Why do you have five copies of the same book?"

[superbat-love]

Clark: Should we really be here?

Bruce: What is it, Clark? Do you not want to be on a date with me?

Clark: I do! But it feels weird to be following Cass and her date like this.

Bruce: We’re not following them, we just happen to be in the same vicinity. Bowling is my hobby.

Clark: …Sure. Anyway, he seems like a nice guy.

Bruce: Hmph. He may be big and tall, but I bet those muscles are just for show. Even Damian could take him on.

Clark: Damian is a trained assassin.

Bruce: Eat your strawberry crêpe, Clark.

Clark: Bruce, why are there police officers talking to Cass?

Bruce: Ha! I knew there was something suspicious about that guy.

Clark: They’re heading this way.

Officer: Sirs, we’ve received a police report about two suspicious-looking men in Hawaiian shirts and sunglasses stalking a pair of teenagers. Please come with us to the police station for further questioning.

Bruce: Stalking a pair of- That’s my daughter!

Clark: Can I finish my crêpe? I don’t want to waste good food.

[dragonpyre]

Dick: so wait, most of us have died at some point. How come we don’t have white streaks in our hair like Jason?

Tim: maybe it has to do with the Lazarus Pit

Damian: false. Neither Mother nor Grandfather have streaks born of unnatural causes

Steph: maybe it’s cuz he was dead longer

Cass: that doesn’t make sense

Steph: do you have a better idea!?

Jason:

Jason: I have vitiligo, you fucks

[canigohomenoow]

Batfam on Twitter (3)

[alcorian-cycle]

my take on batfam sleep schedules (and everything else they do)

bruce

10pm - 5am : patrol [7hr] 6am - 2pm : sleep [8hr] 3pm - 9pm : work from home, sometimes dinner with the kids [6hr]

bruce has the benefit of being able to choose his own work hours and work from home. still, he pushes himself round the clock to keep on top of his life as both batman and bruce wayne. his sleep is perfectly optimized and scheduled; not a minute more than he thinks he needs to operate at peak functionality.

dick

11pm - 4am : patrol [5hr] 5am - 1pm : sleep [8hr] 2pm - 10pm : work [8hr]

dick works full time, and his body naturally needs a lot of sleep, so regretfully, rather than cutting into his sleep time he cut into patrol time to make his schedule work. ideally, he'd be sleeping closer to 10 hours, but he can't afford it.

jason

6pm - 1am : work [7hr] 2am - 11am : sleep [9hr] 12pm - 5pm : whatever he wants basically [5hr]

jason has the least time crunch, because he's the only one whose "night job" actually pays. he has a pretty passive income as a crime lord. he just needs to go out every so often and remind the streets why they pay up to him.

tim

2am - 6am : patrol [4hr] 7am - 3pm : school [8hr] 3pm - 6pm : homework & hygiene/food [3hr] 6pm - 1am : sleep [7hr]

tim is not doing so well. i hc that tim is anemic and suffers from chronic fatigue, so he needs way more sleep than he is getting. he cant negotiate his class times, and he needs to do his homework in order to pass. he's not willing to cut patrol time down past 4 hours, so that leaves him with really not quite enough time to sleep. he's married to caffeine.

duke

11pm - 6am : sleep [7hr] 7am - 3pm : school [8hr] 4pm - 8pm : patrol [4hr] 8pm - 11pm : food, homework etc [3hr]

duke is only managing because he's okay with a shorter daily patrol and doesnt need as much sleep as tim. he's also the only batfam member who actually sleeps at night.

damian

10pm - 5 am : patrol with bruce [7hr] 5am - 6am : nap [1hr] 7am - 3pm : school [8hr] 4pm - 9pm : sleep [5hr]

damian does all his homework at hyperspeed during study hall and in the car driving to and from school. because he is insane. damian also has the ability to powernap like the dead. that 1hr actually does something for him.

cass

9pm - 6am : patrol [9hr] 7am - 4pm : sleep [9hr] 5pm - 8pm : whatever she wants basically [3hr]

cass, like jason, doesnt have a big time crunch due to being unemployed and not in school. yay! she used to spend time trying to learn to read and write, but it was just frustrating for her so eventually they decided she should quit.

you may notice that there is not a single time when they are all awake and available to have a family meal. they have to plan those well in advance. its a whole event.

[fanaticalthings]

next thing you're gonna tell me is that the butts match 🙄

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[bruciemilf]

I’m on vacation so have some hcs about the Batman beach episode:

Bruce cannot swim. For shit. Stays on shore and plucks pretty shells with Damian the whole time.

Damian, who’s secretly terrified of water says Yes, Grayson, the frog floaties are safety measures.

Jason trying to find the grossest things imaginable (dead fish, trash, seaweed) and chasing Tim with them

Steph challenges every kid at a sandcastle building contest and loses every single time

Cass can hold her breath for a full 10 minutes and trolls people into thinking she drowned.

In her defense, if you think someone can drown 5 times in a row, you’re your own problem

Dick must and will do the Pamela Anderson slow mo run at every beach he visits

Talia forces Bruce to BATHE in sunscreen because the weakest ray of sunlight will get him fried like KFC.

Consequently, Bruce hates beaches, but she loves them, so.

Tim is insanely scared of seagulls and Jason does everything he can to catch one as a pet.

Duke loves surfing, but he pretends to be bad at it to make a bet with his siblings and win. “I bet I can learn how to surf in one day.” “Yeah, alright, and I bet a weeks worth of Alfred’s cookies.” “I’m in :)”

[graham-cracker-guillotine]

listen i mathed my way thru this:

tim b/c he's a wacko, duke to "recharge his powers" (ie also a wacko)

babs and alfred are the only normal ones in the family

bruce has too many children he can sleep thru storms. steph is probably passed out somewhere in the manor (cass' room)

jay, my favorite, has to be a lil traumatized from *gestures at entire life* but especially when he dUG HIMSELF UP FROM HIS GRAVE IN A STORM so yeah

dick is comforting a begrudging jason b/c of said storm

tim is stuck outside after trying to get himself struck by lightning. cass is not stuck!! she is simply enjoying the storm outside with a raincoat and an umbrella

when tim finally gets back inside he learns the wifi is gone and promptly goes back outside to try and get struck by lightning. damian is mad bc his video call with jon got cut off

thank u im here all day

[ultravhasart]

hyped for her new solo!