dragonpyre

[dragonpyre]

Twinsies

reference:

Liam and Laura laughing at Matt's brain fart in C3 E106

[dragonpyre]

One of the Things I Can't Stop Saying is butchering some word and then going "That's how the kids are saying it these days" and today I was like "I'm starting to get hungo, which is how the kids are saying "hungry" these days" and I got a text from my brother from upstairs going "No they're not"

I respect that he didn't want to leave his room or nothing but he still had to make his voice heard

[dragonpyre]

every time I talk about my mineral collection my boyfriend reminds me of the time he was helping me move and he made the suitcase full of rocks joke when he was unknowingly lugging around my literal actual suitcase full of rocks

[dragonpyre]

I find the fact that the closest mountain point on earth to the moon, the highest mountain and the tallest mountain are 3 different mountains to be a tiny bit disturbing

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[dragonpyre]

I wish my landlord a very merry three ghosts haunting his ass tonight.

[dragonpyre]

its christmas eve and look whos on tumblr

all of us

[dragonpyre]

[dragonpyre]

Red One is so artistic in a positive way that is; ridiculously good and it's not that bad as I thought it was going to be. Some scenes are gif worthy.

I do like the main message that the movie presents 'everyone is still a kid even when they have grown up' and it's such a sweet perspective.

10/10.

[dragonpyre]

[dragonpyre]

(merry christmas eve for those who celebrate)

[dragonpyre]

you could never make blazing saddles today. movies take a really long time to film and it's already 11am on the west coast. also most actors and film staff would probably like to spend christmas eve with their families.

[dragonpyre]

Today's Adventure is that I, after an unintentional 13-hour power nap,

Got woken up at 6AM by a phone call from a friend stranded in Montana because of the heat wave and almost no cell service because of their crap provider.

OhSoThat'sHowIt'sGonnaBe.jpg

Ok.

I somehow summon a week's worth of spoons and in less than 30 minutes and 5 phone calls, get them

A hotel

An appointment with a mechanic from 2 states away

A perscription refilled from 2 states away

and A Pizza

Go me.

But then it's 8AM and there are unscheduled live humans at the door and while EVERGENCY MODE is still on, I have already blown through a ton of spoons, and also probably shouldn't meet whoever it is wearing just a pair of bootyshorts that say "CRYPTID" in Gothic Font on my ass.

So I greet them in those shorts and a T-shirt that I manage to put on both inside out and backwards

#nailedit

It is, Fortunately, not the mormons.

it is, Unfortunately, two UPS guys trying to deliver my other in-house friend's new phone except the new guy doesn't know how to operate the "sign for package" device, and the old guy that's supposed to be mentoring him is like, 92, deaf as a post, and doesn't actually know how to operate the device either.

by the way

it is already

over 100 out

it takes almost 30 minutes to sign for the phone

when i get back inside, i discover that apparently the Corgi has learned how to open his kennel from the inside because he is now out of the kennel and waiting for me to come in.

he also has cat litter all over his face because while he was waiting for me he also learned how to open the baby gate to the cat's room and help himself to a cat shit breakfast.

He'll be fine

He's a cattle dog, they're legally required to have at least 1 really disgusting snack they love.

but

more to the point

i have no idea at what point he learned to open his kennel from the inside

has he been staying there out of politeness this whole time??

And

I got other shit to do today.

namely.

I'm seeing a realator

The Devils most pathetic yet effective demons

I get a reminder text that I have an appointment with her

at least

I think that's what it is because what she sends me is: "🏡⏰12:00 ❔"

With the time typed in the middle like that.

She is, according to her profile, at least 80.

so I reply "😎👍"

and then she sends me a string of GODDAMN POST-MODERN EMOJI HEIROGLYPHICS THAT TAKE UP MY ENTIRE SCREEN.

She's on an iPhone so half of them don't even translate across platforms

It takes me half an hour and three different software programs and goddamn wingdings to translate, but she has sent me the address and rules about masking and not wearing shoes inside.

in emoji

instead of like

literally any other format

I am

FASCINATED

and simply must meet the woman so if I don't come back to update I got stolen by the fairies but I'm taking the Corgi with me as protection so I'll see y'all later.

[dragonpyre]

Maybe being good at social media should not be the main qualifier for all creative work

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I can’t find it on tumblr and IT CHRISMAS GOD DAMMIT.

MERR CHRISMAS.

[dragonpyre]

becoming president just to put lumen, decibel, and size restrictions on vehicles.

[dragonpyre]

I HAVE WAITED ALL YEAR TO POST THIS