#bipolar manic episode
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A small thought for disability pride month... There's a stereotype/myth/common perception that mental health meds make people's art worse. Sometimes, it's portrayed as people being incapable of making art at all. Other times, they simply don't have anything interesting to say now that they're "happy." Some people even avoid going on meds because they worry about not being able to make art.
I want to share some pages of a comic I made during a manic episode, before I was on any proper medication.
I think this comic is very interesting, very raw and unique, but this was my attempt to be understood by other people. I made this art thinking that other people would know exactly what I meant by it. I thought this was incredibly clear, that it would communicate everything I was going through and had experienced without any ambiguity. When people didn't react how I wanted, when they couldn't parse it in the way I intended, it hurt me. Here was my best attempt to be understood, and I remained alone.
Now I'll show some comics I made after being on a mood stabilizer/antipsychotic.
You can say what you like about the artistic merit of it compared to that raw, abstract work I made before, but what matters to me is that I was actually able to connect to other people through this art. When I showed this work to people, their reaction was in line with what I intended. They saw part of me. I made it to show a side of myself I was incapable of expressing without art, and when people read it, they actually saw that side of me.
Without medication, I was trapped in my own world. I couldn't even begin to fathom how to connect to another person because we weren't using the same vocabulary. You might be "interested" or "compelled" by my suffering, but part of that interest comes from the mystery of my delirium. No matter how unique the result, it still represented a failure of intent. Learning to make art again after exiting that delirium was difficult, but I promise you it was and is worth it.
#actually psychotic#psychosis#bipolar 1#mania#manic episodes#disability pride month#mad pride#schizospectrum#blobeharts#comics
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Haha yasss
#actually bipolar#bipolar disorder#bipolar mania#bipolar1#mental heath support#bipolar depression#disabled#mental health#mental health matters#infp#self love#depressive episode#manic depression#manic episodes#mental health awareness#self care#bipolar memes#general anxiety disorder#mania#mental health wellness#struggle bus
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IAN GALLAGHER + his journey with bipolar disorder
╰┈➤ “At times, being bipolar can be an all-consuming challenge, requiring a lot of stamina and even more courage, so if you’re living with this illness and functioning at all, it’s something to be proud of, not ashamed of." - Carrie Fisher
#happy world bipolar day to all my bp babies#(more thoughts at the end of the tags)#shameless#shamelessnet#shamelessedit#ian gallagher#cameron monaghan#*macygifs#bipolar disorder#hello pals how are we doin#i made this gif set in july of 2023 and never posted it because 1) i was terrified to share it and potentially see Bad Takes in the tags#and 2) because my hyperfixation was waning. and while both of those things are still mostly true (the fixation comes and goes)#i feel like it's really important to share as ian's bipolar storyline was not only so vital to his character it was a bit of representation#that isn't often given to the disorder and those (like myself) who live with it every single day#world bipolar day is a day where we can both celebrate ourselves and our resilience and also raise awareness of the reality of the disorder#which is both terrifying and beautiful at its core. this disease is not a death sentence or a sentence to an unfulfilled and miserable life#while there are challenges galore when it comes to balancing life with this disorder it IS possible to live a full and productive life#and i think it's really important to have representation of that in media - and while shameless dropped the ball on a LOT of storylines#over the years THIS is the one they really fucking nailed and i am incredibly grateful#i first started watching shameless while in the midst of a major depressive episode and i was later (finally) diagnosed during an extended#hypo/manic episode - this show and ian's storyline got me through so much and made me feel so seen and validated in my struggles#world bipolar day is also vincent van gogh's birthday (happy birthday buddy) who was posthumously diagnosed with bipolar disorder#and who experienced both depressive and hypo/manic episodes during his lifetime (and was regularly institutionalized)#it takes a lot of help and support to keep us going. it takes the support of our family and friends and *most* of all#it takes patience and kindness and understanding - which is so so so easy to give if you are willing to love and listen#so please. be willing. listen to our stories. be patient with us. show us love without conditions. support us in any way you can.#we are worth it#i promise#anyway. that's really all i wanted to say. happy world bipolar day to those who celebrate (me) and may all of us living with this disorder#go on to live happy fulfilling beautiful magical lives
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An episode of mania almost always always always starts out so euphorically, makes you feel like you’re on the perfect drug, makes your confidence and motivation sky rocket and has you romanticizing all the fun it baits you with. It feels so amazing, you feel like nothing can hurt you or get to you.
Then the irritability comes, genuine rage, such an uncomfortable and overwhelming increase in libido, dangerous impulses, social behavior to be humiliated from by the time you crash, severe sleep deprivation that disorients the fuck out of you the longer you go without it, without even feeling tired at all. But feeling completely out of control. And if it escalates, Lord help you. Hallucinations, bad paranoia, black outs, substance abuse (or relapse if you happen to be recovering), delusions, everything that could get you into a psych ward. It isn’t fun at the end and any pleasure you feel is completely illusionary.
The worst part is I still normally never want it to stop. Because the depression after, which gets so ugly and terrible the longer, more intense the mania is, is something I’m not looking forward to at all. That, and mania can really sometimes convince you that you love it. I’m not wanting to go there though, because I have a lot to lose. Even if I don’t lose anything, I’m tired of this cycle and just can’t afford to desire it anymore. So I’m managing where I can, but wow it’s just scary to watch it take you higher and higher into it, and further and further away from yourself.
This is precisely why I despise any sort of stigma toward bipolar disorder. It’s so misunderstood, misquoted, and mistreated. I just really want and need some help. My hands are so sweaty and shaky, my heart and my mind are racing, I can’t stop talking, I can’t eat. I can’t focus, I can only fixate. And it’s just so overwhelming already.
#actuallymentallyill#actuallybipolar#actuallyhypomanic#actuallymanic#manic episodes#mania#manic#manic episode#manic depression#manic depressive#mental heath#actually mentally ill#actually bipolar#bipolar mania#bipolar disorder#bipolar 1#bipolar 2
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idk who needs to hear this but your manic episodes are valid even if you don’t think your actions were “crazy” enough
#mental illness#actually bipolar#bipolor#bipolar 2#bipolar disorder#bipolar 1#manic episodes#manic episodes are so funny#manic pixie dream girl#hypomanic#hypomania
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#girl interrupted#anxi4ty#girlhood#tw#bipolar mania#mania#depressiv#sorry for being depressing#tw depressing stuff#tw depressing thoughts#dissociative identity disorder#borderline personality disorder#actually dissociative#depersonalization#depersonalisation and derealisation#derealization#derealisation tw#depressing shit#bpd vent#vent#vent post#tw vent#actually bpd#bipolar#bipolar problems#bipolar posting#actually borderline#depression episode#manic episodes#tw derealization
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What the fuck is wrong with my brain
#bpd vent#bpd life#borderline personality problems#favourite person#quiet bpd#pls help#bpd fp#mental disorder#tw self destructive behavior#fp tag#fp#manic episode#maniac#actually mentally ill#this is a cry for help#actually borderline#text#bipolar disorder#im tired#just why#mentally fucked
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the anger i feel towards ppl i love when i’m splitting is indescribable like i want to block them on everything and never speak to them again but then 5 mins later im sobbing over how much i love them it’s exhausting
#episode#bipolar disorder#manic episodes#mentally exhausted#tw depressing thoughts#quiet bpd#bpd#favourite person#bpd anger#split#bpd splitting
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people will be all like "don't make jokes about mental illnesses!", "stop being weird about psychotic or manic people" and then turn around and make a post about a person they saw who was psychotic, manic, etc. and laugh at them and tell their friends about how craaazy of an experience it was.
#disability#nuero punk#mental disabilities#nueropunk#antipsych#antipsychiatry#anti psych#anti psychiatry#madpunk#mad pride#mad punk#mad liberation#actually bpd#actually bipolar#actually borderline#actually psychotic#actually paranoid#schizophrenia#schizoposting#schizospec#manic episodes#manic pixie nightmare#mania#actually manic
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there's a huge part of me that wants to get on grindr and find a chaser to breed me. i'm starting my fertile window at midnight and it would be so risky but so fucking hot. it'd be even better if i ended up sleeping with multiple people. so much cum in me. if i got knocked up i wouldn't have any idea who the dad would be.
[sigh] if only.
#mattias.txt#ftm nsft#trans nsft#queer nsft#ftm breeding#impreg#bd/sm breeding#br33d1ng#impreg nsft#ftm impregnation#only thing stopping me is that i don't want kids and that i'm afraid of getting hate crimed for being trans#otherwise my legs would be Spread#fun fact: i'm bipolar so i've come really close to doing this shit in manic episodes
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We need more positivity posts and awareness on Bipolar Disorder. Really sucks to go onto the tags and see stuff about Borderline PD instead cuz people tend to mix the disorders up
I want to see more people talking about manic episodes and how terrible they are. Talk about how you have a complete lack of judgement, absolutely no social filter, because your thoughts are racing at 1000mph and pouring out of your mouth faster than you can process. Talk about the snappy irritability and the rage because everything is overwhelming, and you can't catch yourself. Talk about how you say really uncomfortable and unpleasant things, or get into arguments, or rant/ramble/overshare for hours. Talk about all the relationships it ruins. Talk about how you start projects, spend all your money on them, stay up all night planning for them, just to drop them the next day. Talk about how you never really know when you're manic until you crash, and how awful the clean up is. Talk about the dangers, the recklessness, the risks. Talk about the poosible psychosis. Talk about how nobody understands what your condition is like. Nobody understands how intense it is, how everyone waters it down, how you can't control it even if you wanted to. Talk about how theres not much of a cure for it at all.
And talk about the depression. How it's more severe than typical depressive episodes (not in a trauma Olympics way, but for perspective). Talk about the suicide rates, and the substance abuse. Talk about how isolating and suffocating it feels. Talk about how intense it is, like there's 500lb weights on your feet dragging you down. Talk about the strength it takes to get out of bed regardless. Talk about the rejection sensitivity, the hopelessness, the disappointment. How everything feels like confirmation that nothing is worth it. Talk about how your mind is always against you. Talk about how this feeling can last months with seemingly no end in sight.
Most importantly, talk about treatment, and how recovery and managing bipolar are completely possible. Talk about having hope, and being compassionate and understanding to the ugly sides of this disorder. Talk about ways to healthily cope. Talk about how we see each others efforts, and how amazing those efforts are. Talk about the ways you can live a full, happy life regardless, and that you deserve it regardless of any issues you might have faced/caused in the midst of your episodes. Talk about forgiving yourself.
Talk more about bipolar disorder
#bipolar#bipolar disorder#bipolar type 2#bipolar type 1#mood disorder#manic episodes#depressive episode#bipolar awareness#bipolar positivity#actually bipolar#psychology
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Exactly what’s happening rn…
#actually bipolar#bipolar disorder#bipolar mania#bipolar1#mental heath support#bipolar depression#disabled#mental health#mental health matters#infp#self love#depressive episode#manic depression#manic episodes#mental health awareness#self care#bipolar memes#general anxiety disorder#mania#mental health wellness
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random question, do you think it's possible for someone who has lost their creativity to regain it? ..asking for a friend..
im not sure what your situation is, but i believe everyone has creative potential just from being a human being and you cant just permanently lose your creativity. i struggle with losing creativity at times, usually its when I go into a depressive period. I usually just keep making art through it, ill look through old ideas I wrote down or work on commissions just stuff that doesnt require a ton of creativity but keeps me working on art. even if I dont feel good doing it just doing the work of making art helps me to eventually want to make art again
#i dont rly have any advice for this sorry#but this kind of sounds like burnout#idk if what I do will work for you or not all i can really do is share how i deal w it#i go in and out of depressive episodes kind of like bipolar but without manic episodes#i just feel like total shit for some weeks or months and then feel normal again and its independent of enviornmental stuff or triggers#i cant rly do anything about it except try to lessen the depression w meds and such
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i think what cracked me up the most about edwards speech to frenchie about the bird that never lands is that is the exact kind of shit i start saying when I'm having a manic episode and frenchie's response to it would have killed me on impact
#ofmd#our flag means death#edward teach#Frenchie#mental health#babygirl just wants to express himself but doesnt know how#dramatic ass#manic episode#edward#blackbeard#ofmd2spoilers#ofmd season 2#creature barks#bipolar king
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End of the Carnival Ride in my Past, Present, and Future Life
#poems#poetry#poetry community#poems and poetry#poems on tumblr#bipolar disorder#mental illness#bipolar two disorder#poem#manic#mood disorder#bipolar problems#bipolar mania#manic bipolar#manic episodes#bipolar depression#bipolar#mania#manic depression#depressive episode#depression#mental#mental disorder#mental health#mentally ill#bipolar 2#mentally stable#high and low#depressive#depressed
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