#batman is sleep deprived

[gothamite-rambler]

The Wayne boys most days without sleep before they finally crashed (two manage to beat out Batman)

Tim Drake - 12 days

Tim fidgeted with his hands, his gaze fixed on the wall.

Tim: All around the mulberry bush, the monkey chased the weasel, da da da da—

Suddenly, an alarm blared on his phone startling everyone at the cafe table he was sitting at.

Tim: POP GOES THE WEASEL!

He erupted into cackling laughter, but as he slowly laid his head on the table, the laughter quickly faded away. Cassie, Kon, and Bernard exchanged worried glances.

Cassie: Hey, Tim, how long have you been awake?

Tim (rocking back and forth): 288 hours.

Cassie (stunned): 200 and what?

Kon (shocked): You've been awake for 12 days?!

Bernard (sighing): Again, Tim?

Cassie & Kon: Again?!

Bernard: I've seen this happen with him so many times. At this point, his brain starts to cry.

Cassie: Don’t you mean die?

Tim sobbed for a few moments, his eyes fixed on his phone, before falling completely silent.

Bernard: Nah, I mean crying.

Tim: You've seen me do it before, and I can do it longer. The first record holder lasted 12 days! I can go even longer—like a full month! I can! Batman couldn't even do that!

Tim cackled rocking back and forth.

Tim: Coffee helps especially when you replace it with all other liquids.

Tim grabbed a large cup of coffee, his hands trembling uncontrollably. He took a few big gulps as Cassie looked on in shock, while Konnor blinked and then shrugged, taking a few sips from his tea. Bernard gently rubbed his boyfriend’s back.

Cassie: Dude, why are you even avoiding sleep?

Bernard (explaining for his boyfriend): The double life, regular paperwork and then hero work. Timmy, let's take you home okay?

Tim: Home, no home. I fall sleep. Sleep for the weak... Did you know if you look at the walls long enough, new people appear?

Tim waved, laughing nervously then tensed horrified.

Tim: Their faces are contorting again!

Bernard: Let's take you away from the scary... invisible person and get you home to not rest.

Bernard took Tim's hand and led him outside of the Dunkin' Donuts.

Cassie: I could not handle dating a batkid.

Konnor nodded.

Kon: I dated him for a while. Would not recommend.

----------------------------------------------------

Dick Grayson - 18 days and 15 minutes

Kori and Beast Boy walked into the Titans' living room. Raven was the only one there, deep in her daily meditation.

Kori: Where's Dick at?

Raven: Outside counting blades of grass.

Kori (confused): Counting blades of grass?

Beast Boy (frustrated): Oh Jesus, has he been awake for days again?

Raven nodded, her eyes still closed.

Raven (monotone): He'll crash any second, but he thought being outside in the sun would 'revitalize' him.

Beast Boy: That's not- I'll be back.

Beast Boy went outside where Dick was, indeed, counting blades of grass. BB approached him, tapping his foot. Dick looked up, his eyes wide and one twitching.

Dick: Hey- Hey- Hey buddy. Did you know we have one hundred thousand blades of grass? I- Did you change colors?

BB: What color do you think I am?

Dick squinted his eyes.

Dick: Blue.

BB: All right, we're on that color. How long have you been awake, buddy?

Dick: I stopped sleeping last Wednesday... Then a week passed... Then another, that was 14, now it's Saturday of the second week. And- I hear the world singing.

Dick lay on the ground, counting the same patch of grass as he whispered incoherent nonsense. Beast Boy crossed his arms, sighed, and walked back inside the tower.

BB: 18 days this time.

Beast Boy walked away as Kori covered her mouth in shock.

Raven: He's surpassing the world record holder. Also, his brain might be dying.

Kori (alarmed): Might be?!

Raven: He's a batkid, their brains are made of steel or something.

Kori: I have one trick that usually knocks him out—

Raven: I know it's sex.

Kori (giggling): Yes, but he falls asleep on top of me every time.

Raven sighed, shaking her head while Beast Boy left the house with a water bottle.

Beast Boy: Right, I'm going to give him this sleep juice Alfred sent us. He says it knocks them out in a few seconds.

Raven: Smart choice.

Beast Boy: Thanks.

----------------------------------------------------

Jason Todd - 5 days

Jason: I can't sleep.

Roy: How long have you been awake?

Jason (groggy): About five days. Man, I tried to go to sleep, but my body physically won't let me.

Roy: Well, you have been drinking Red Bulls every other hour. You're too focused on the mission. Just go to sleep.

Jason shook his head, rocking back and forth.

Jason: Can't sleep… Won't sleep… No sleep.

Roy tapped his foot, thinking of a way to get him to sleep, then smiled.

Roy: You know you're becoming just like your dad. That's good; he can go six days without sleep. Maybe you'll—

Jason stood up, went to another room, closed his door, and fell into his bed to sleep.

Roy: Works every time.

----------------------------------------------------

Damian - 1 day

Damian: I don't want to go to sleep! No!

Damian kicked his feet as Bruce dragged him to bed.

Bruce: Nope, you’ve stayed awake for 24 hours. That's it. Go to bed!

Damian: You're so unfair!

Bruce: You're not depriving yourself of valuable sleep—Alfred, shut up!

Alfred, who was reading a book about sleep disorders, smirked and then walked away.

[is-not-a-bell]

Sleepy King

The Justice League Dark caught wind of a cult trying to summon the Ghost King. A being with power so terrible and great, that all of the chaotic Infinite Realms feared him. A true tyrant. Long ago it took the effort of ghosts equal to gods to seal him away into a permeant slumber.

And now this cult wishes to wake him and bring him to the living realm. It was a race against the clock to find the ritual site and all members were called on board, magic or not. Even Constantine looked stressed.

They did find the site.

But it was too late, the ritual was completed. The entire inner circle of runes glowed before being swallowed in a column of green light. The air filled with static and a ringing that made Supergirl crumble to the ground.

The light dissipated, but there was no great figure or being of pure evil. Instead there was a boy, a teenager. He laid on the ground curled up in his sleep. He was a ghost no doubt, dressed in regal clothing.

Despite this when he stirred, everyone froze. It seemed the cold hard ground woke him up. He got up slowly and yawned, revealing his sharp fangs. Once sat up he opened his bleary eyes to look around. He looked confused and tired, really tired.

"Where am I?" He mumbled. "I was trying to get some sleep." Constantine internally screaming, latches onto that last sentence. He glances over to Batman. He caught that last part too. Batman approaches calmly and crouches down in front of the boy king. Hardening his resolve, Batman takes on a gentle tone.

"Hey kiddo, sorry we woke you. Lets get you back to bed yeah?" The boy nodded in agreement. He pulled himself to his feet before looking around in a circle. "Where did my blanket go?" He asked rather sadly. Batman is quick to shed his own cape and drape it over him. "You can borrow my cape until we get you a new one." He nodded again, pulling the black fabric around himself.

John quickly summoned a portal door, while Batman led the King through it. John threw looks around at everyone. Everyone could tell he was mouthing the words. 'Find me a fucking blanket now'

Running on the logic of getting the king away from Earth, away from graves and the undead, that could give him power. The portal led to the Watch Tower.

Batman took advantage of the King's bleary state to send a base wide alert for all noncritical members to evacuate immediately. With a priority that death adjacent members leave first. "The stars are pretty." Bruce looked at the boy staring out the window in wonder. He almost looked like a normal kid, almost.

"Yeah they are, it's pretty late so we should get you back to bed." He nodded, going along with Batman's gentle coaxing.

He takes the boy to an unused bedroom. Making sure the room isn't dusty and that lights are dimmed. He glances back to see about a dozen different leaguers all holding blankets, one thought to bring extra pillows. The bed was pretty barren with only a single pillow and a thin bedsheet. So Bruce took a thick duvet, one of the fluffier blankets and a second pillow from his team before shooing them away.

The boy ended up keeping his cape, mumbling how it was warm. He tucked the boy in, before quietly exiting the room and turning off the light. He was pretty sure the King fell back to sleep before he even reached the light switch.

After the door shut, he made direct eye contact with John. "Constantine." They needed to figure out what the hell was going on.

[maybe-in-another-universe]

i hear your constantly sleep deprived tim drake. allow me to raise you one sleep deprived BUT prone to napping/passing out tim drake.

after a 72 hour mission, with no sleep, tim finishes up his report at the bat computer, stands up, takes three steps to the left, and curls into a ball on the floor and sleeps right there. Bruce finds him and moves him to somewhere more comfy.

alternatively, when he’s stressed and doesn’t want anyone to bother him, Tim finds the most inconvenient, out of sight place to nap so he can get back to work once he’s done. unfortunately sometimes he gets caught.

Jason: Why is Tim in the tea cabinet?

Dick: He’s tired, leave him be. I think this is the first time he’s slept in like two days.

———

Damian: Father, why is Drake currently unconscious in the cave under the medical gurneys?

Bruce: He likes it there.

———

i just like the idea that the family just rolls with it and accepts it as one of his many quirks. maybe even young justice gang gets in on it and is like oh yeah that’s tim for ya.

[rainpunk07]

hear me out, danny speaking russian (dc x dp hc)

so i was just watching a video about space, right? allegedly, turns out if you (an american) wanna board the international space station you must speak russian fluently since the only way to get there is by a russian shuttle and pilot (nasa apparently ended their own shuttle program way back when??) (don’t quote me on this)

so picture danny learning russian at a relatively young age for the sole hope of going to space and such, and it coming out every once in a while when he’s mumbling or something like that (it’s basically second nature to him)

so danny ends up at gotham for whatever reason (demon twins, reveal gone wrong, idc, they’re all cool) and he wants to start anew, so he pretends to only speak russian?? ig?? it’d make for some funny/interesting BatFam interactions i suppose

i don’t know where i was going with this but i want to read prompts of danny speaking russian

[theaceofarrows]

The Justice League meeting Jason for the first time

Robin Jason: Come on, you egg sucking piece of gutter trash! You like pushing people around who are smaller than you? Well, I'm smaller. Try pushing me!

Lex Luthor: What did you just call me?! Egg sucking-

Robin Jason: [launches all 4ft of his feral self at Lex]

Superman: Uhh, should we help him?

Batman: [shakes his head]

[Jason running circles around Lex while mocking him]

Wonder Woman: Are you certain we shouldn't assist him?

Nightwing: Nah, don't worry he's fine. He just has a case of crime fighting zoomies to work out

[Jason, knocks Lex down after throwing as many smokebombs and batarangs as he can]

Jason: Learn your place you Mr. Clean looking B-lister lump of trash!

Everyone other than Batman and Nightwing: ...

Green Lantern: I really like this little dude! Let's keep him!

[robinsleeping]

Tim “the cowl ages me 20 years” Drake

[frownyalfred]

one of the Batfamily's protocols for someone going suddenly evil actually is what they jokingly call a percussive reset (slamming the evil person's head into the wall just hard enough to scramble any potential mind control but not enough to cause serious brain damage) and Bruce absolutely hates that they call it that. does that stop him from doing it? absolutely not, but he tends to default to throwing an explosive device close to the evil person's head instead (make that brain jiggle like Jell-o) and plays it off as a "distraction." this is step 6 on his potential mind control protocol/checklist, immediately preceding step 7 (calling Diana) and step 8 ("this isn't you, don't do this").

[steamingketchup]

redraw of some of my first schlatt art from almost FIVE YEARS AGO 😭😭😭

big versions v v

redraw

original

[kettlefire]

Maybe a Bit High (DpxDC)

Really, Danny shouldn't have been there. He had so many other things he should be doing. He wasn't even supposed to in Gotham!

Danny wished he could be safely tucked in bed right now. Or having another fight with his mom. Or dealing with another one of Sam and Tucker's squabbles.

Truly, anything was better than this. Then, being on the run, in a completely different state. Not recognizing anything anywhere and having to somehow find his dad somewhere in this city.

So yes, with Danny's luck, he had assumed the commotion by the docks had something to do with his search.

And of course, with Danny's luck, it had absolutely nothing to do with him.

Maybe things got a little out of hand. Really, Danny wasn't equipped to deal with a drug bust. His experience with crime tends to be of the ghostly nature.

Really, how do people even do these without getting a little bit high?

Was he even high? Could halfas get high? Was the powder he accidentally ingested the drugs? The one he got a giant mouthful of? Or was it the strange purplish liquid that coated like half his body?

Really, Danny wasn't in the frame of mind to try and figure all that out. It sounded more like a Jazz and Sam question.

God, Sam was going to be so bummed out for missing out on Danny's first trip. Not that Danny could even tell her what drugs these were...

Maybe he should go to a hospital?

Or maybe he should mess with this crane. Like, it looks fun! Wait, but people aren't supposed to use heavy machinery when high...

It's fine... probably. It's not like Danny was that high. Right?

Yea, he's fine. Besides, he's a halfa! He's like ninety percent sure he couldn't even get high. And Tucker would be so on board with his idea.

Hold on, the storage units look more fun. Danny couldn't help wanting to find out what was hiding behind all those walls.

Oh, but the sky looks so pretty from here! Even with the city lights and the light smog, Danny could make out the twinkling stars.

Maybe he should go for a fly. Even if he was high, technically, that would be fine, right? Flying is like walking for him. And it's not illegal to walk high! Just to be high...

Okay, okay, a flight it is. It'll atleast keep him away from civilians, and then he'll find his dad. Yes, Danny still needed to do that.

He couldn't lose his objective. He just needed to take a breather, and then track down his dad. Track him down somewhere in this large, bustling city.

It'll be fine, totally fine. Danny was totally not panicking. His current trip was truly not going downhill.

Was he forgetting to breathe? Wait, no, Danny was still Phantom. He didn't need to breathe, he's fine. It's fine...

Unless it wasn't. What if it was all in Danny's head? What if all this halfa stuff was all just a part of his really weird trip? What if he tries to fly and just ends up drowning in the river?

Okay, okay. Focus Danny, focus. He just needed to find his dad. That's it. His dad would know what to do. His dad could fix this.

Oh, and there he is! It was a little hard for Danny to focus his vision, but he knew the silhouette anywhere! It had to be his dad! Jack has such a distinct shadow!

Danny wasn't sure if he called out Dad or not. He also wasn't sure when he had decided to move. Did he fly or did he run?

It didn't matter. His dad knew, anyways. All Danny was focused on was the feeling of hugging his dad again...

And the strange armor his dad was wearing? It must have been something Jack rigged up to protect himself during these dire times...

But god, Danny couldn't tear his focus away from the texture of it under his fingers. Zeroing in on that alone.

It's fine. Even if he was high, Danny could just explain it to Jack. His dad would understand! Danny was just trying to be a good hero. It's not like he was doing drugs for fun!

Besides, being curled up on his dad's shoulders feels too good right now. Whatever that pointy thing on Jack's head was wasn't a big deal. It was something a little intangiblity could fix!

[puppetmaster13u]

Prompt 41

Hear me out, DP and DC crossover where Scarecrow is cousins with the Fentons. 

 His mother was siblings with Jack’s father, and both Jazz and Danny met ‘Uncle Jonathan’ during one of the many Fenton-Nightingale family reunions that happens every few years. Honestly, perhaps it’s what gets Jazz interested in psychology, hearing from her ‘uncle’ about fear and its effects.

 And honestly once they start having to deal with ghosts and having had to deal with their parents for years it’s not really hard to talk with their uncle. Crane still doesn’t know how he became these kids’ favorite uncle, or even all of the family kids’ favorite uncle-cousin, but that’s just how the family is. 

 Really he’s not even the only villain of the family, with both Jack and Maddie being close but not quite, even if they’re definitely mad scientists. Their son becoming a local hero, even if they’re not aware of that fact, is just ironic. 

 John knows. The two kids told him when they found out that Danny may or may not need to feed on fear now that he’s half ghost, and well he’s the specialist about the emotion so…

 At least they have someone to stay with when Jazz goes to Gotham university and brings Danny with her, even if the local vigilantes are concerned as to why Scarecrow attacks have suddenly took a nosedive…

[finzphoenix]

Have some more Crane doodles while I work on commissions ^-^☕️✍️

[gothamite-rambler]

Six days without sleep?!

Headcanon time! In the comics, Bruce Wayne compensates for lost sleep by "micro sleeping," which isn't advisable for most people. While Superman needs proper rest, Bruce goes days without sleep, impacting his mind by day six. Although others have lasted longer without sleep, it rarely ends well. Bruce often crashes unexpectedly, usually because Alfred spikes his drink with sleep meds, causing him to sleep for about eighteen hours and then pretend he didn't fall asleep at a stop sign.

Superman, Wonder Woman, and Green Lantern waited at the Justice League headquarters for Batman to arrive. They had planned an intervention for him since he had gone close to a week without any sleep and it was becoming detrimental to his health like it usually did.

Wonder Woman (checking her phone for a text): He’ll be here soon.

Superman: All right, when he gets here, we need to be understanding and not confrontational.

Green Lantern: We’re usually like that with him anyway. He’ll threaten us with a contingency plan over the slightest critique. He just weaves it into conversation out of nowhere.

Wonder Woman (nodding in agreement): He’s not wrong. He told Aquaman he’d use Plan 50 on him just because Aquaman told him to sit down to rest his injured leg. Such a cruel and strange contingency plan.

Superman: That was weeks ago. In the past, Aquaman has forgiven him. We just have to talk to him calmly and kindly because he’s our friend.

Green Lantern (correcting): Co-worker.

Superman: Friend! He needs a friend intervention. He’ll listen to us.

Green Lantern shook his head in doubt just as the elevator door opened and Batman stepped out, looking exhausted even with his cowl on.

Superman: Hey, buddy! How’s it going?

Batman slowly turned to Superman, who wore a forced smile.

Batman: I'm not going to sleep!

Superman (shocked): How did you guess we were going to ask that?

Batman: Because you’ve asked it… two hundred times in the past. I’m fine. My body is stronger than your Fortress of Solitude!

Wonder Woman (concerned): You’re really not fine. You poured coffee on your hand yesterday.

Batman (groggy): That was a simple accident… that woke me up.

Green Lantern (frustrated): Dude, you’ve been awake for SIX days! Your mind hasn’t had a moment to rest. You have a stream of consciousness that hasn’t turned off, and—Batman!

Batman stared off to the side, silently zoning out. Wonder Woman clapped her hands in front of his face, snapping him back to reality.

Green Lantern: You should not be alive! How the actual hell are you still standing?

Batman (dazed): Simple answer… I’m built different from all of you! I can go months without sleep if I want to! I’m the strongest one here and—

Batman stepped back, blinking, and then collapsed to the ground, his eyes remaining wide open.

Superman (alarmed): Oh my God!

Green Lantern (expecting this): Give him five seconds.

Five seconds passed before Batman sprang to his feet.

Batman: Blacked out for a second… where was I? Right, I can withstand months without sleep because I am the one!

Superman (shocked): What the fuck was that?!

Batman: What was what?

Wonder Woman (checking to see if Batman was really okay): You just fell unconscious for like five seconds!

Batman: Was it five this time? Nice.

Green Lantern (crossing his arms with a smirk): Hold on, guys. He’s right; we should just leave it alone.

Superman: What are you talking about?

Green Lantern (sarcastically): I'm speaking for Batman because clearly the dude is showing us he has the willpower, the machismo, if you will, to take micro naps, which have definitely been approved by scientists and doctors, and wake up with ease. Ain't that right, Batman?

Batman's head dipped down as he stared at the floor. Wonder Woman walked over and clapped her hands in front of his face again. His head shot back up, as if remembering where he was.

Batman (exhaling): Yep, yep, yep! I’m going to go outside and get some sunlight. I’ll be back!

Batman dashed out of the room, taking the stairs two at a time. Wonder Woman and Superman glared at Green Lantern, who chuckled with a shrug.

Green Lantern: I told you he wasn’t going to listen. At least he didn’t bring up a contingency plan, though the zoning-out thing is definitely affecting his critical thinking.

Wonder Woman: Astute assessment.

Green Lantern (smiling): Thanks, dude.

Superman groaned.

Superman: How are we going to fix this? I can’t let my best buddy go insane or worse.

Wonder Woman (bluntly): You do realize your friendship with him is one-sided and he sees you as a colleague, right?

Superman: Not true! Not true. Our sons are friends, so that means we are friends.

Wonder Woman rolled her eyes.

Wonder Woman: Back to the main point—what are we going to do next?

Green Lantern: Not worry about it? I’m willing to bet he’s in the middle of a serious case, and when he gets like this, he pushes sleep aside. Which is freaking stupid. He’ll crash soon. Trust me, the moment he starts staring off into space is when he’s about to drop.

Just then, Arrow calmly entered the room, carrying his quiver of arrows.

Arrow: Batman just fell down the stairs and is knocked out.

Green Lantern: And there’s the crash. I'll drag him back up.

Wonder Woman (raising an eyebrow): You’ve dealt with this before, haven’t you?

Green Lantern: Duh. I’ll be back.

Wonder Woman turned to Superman.

Wonder Woman: Unaware your buddy eventually has a shut down?

Superman (sheepishly): It may have escaped my mind.

[fckbatmanhiskidsareminenow]

ya know what i think a better (let’s be honest i mean funnier) version of jason’s attack on the titans tower would be? if tim had already somehow figured out who the red hood was and instead of jason wearing that god awful robin costume he just came as red hood.

tim (playing along with the drama of it all): who are you??

jason: i’m the red hood

tim: close enough welcome back, jason todd

jason:..what?!

[firerose18991]

College is kicking my ass, have a batfam:

Jason:  (on the stairs) And if I'm lying then may the devil himself strike me down.

*immediately trips and falls down screaming*

Bruce: *un bothered, reading a book* Stop summoning things the mansion is haunted enough.

Duke:  Haunted? *eye roll*

Bruce:  Half my family is buried in the backyard. Of course this place is haunted.

[bruciemilf]

I wonder how many times Clark and the batkids + Alfred revived Bruce with the Lazarus Pit and just never told him abt it

[theaceofarrows]

Red Hood: [punches Riddler goon]

Red Hood: Call me boughs of holly, the way I be decking peoples halls

Batman: Hood-

Nightwing: Call me Christmas cookie, the way I be looking like a snack

Batman: Nightwing-

Nightwing: [kicks another goon before striking a pose]

Batman: I thought asked you both not to say that on patrol

Red Hood: You did

Nightwing: But Spoiler had a very strong argument on why we should say it

Batman: Which was?

Red Hood: She said "but it would really annoy Batman If you DID say it"

Nightwing: So obviously, we had too

Spoiler: [whose recording everything] Smile for the camera boys! This is about to become the most viewed piece of footage at the Watchtower!

Batman: [under his breath] this is why I tell everyone I work alone