#one of the bats walks up to him like

[rainpunk07]

hear me out, danny speaking russian (dc x dp hc)

so i was just watching a video about space, right? allegedly, turns out if you (an american) wanna board the international space station you must speak russian fluently since the only way to get there is by a russian shuttle and pilot (nasa apparently ended their own shuttle program way back when??) (don’t quote me on this)

so picture danny learning russian at a relatively young age for the sole hope of going to space and such, and it coming out every once in a while when he’s mumbling or something like that (it’s basically second nature to him)

so danny ends up at gotham for whatever reason (demon twins, reveal gone wrong, idc, they’re all cool) and he wants to start anew, so he pretends to only speak russian?? ig?? it’d make for some funny/interesting BatFam interactions i suppose

i don’t know where i was going with this but i want to read prompts of danny speaking russian

[kizzer55555]

Ultimate Escape Room

Sam, Danny, and Tucker are bored. Nothing seems to be a challenge anymore. Summer vacation is coming up but they can’t agree on anything . Themepark? What’s a better roller coaster than Jack driving? Scary movie? I’m sorry, nothing beats Fright Knight’s nightmare realm. Bungie jumping? Danny can fly. Then Tucker, who’s been typing on his computer, asks “what about an escape room?”. The others are about to shut the idea down because seriously? Easy. But Tucker just grins and shows them his computer screen.

“Ever heard of Arkham?”

Danny and Sam lean over to read the description and all three turn to each other and grin. 

Now, what’s the fastest way to get into Arkham?

…

So the chaos trio do ✨something✨ that gets them locked up in Arkham and then try to escape and they keep. You know, normal stuff for Arkham inmates. Except this trio? Keep. Getting. Out. Of. Their. Cells. So they are just passing by locked up rogues and waving at them as an army of prison guards chase after them. Sure they could get out the easy way (Aka powers) but no, this is a challenge so they have the normal rules of an escape room. Aka, you can’t break anything and an extra rule where if a guard catches you, then you can’t fight back (also, no one can get hurt). (They make fake identities and everything). So they need to go through the whole process. Figure out how to unlock cuffs. Could be learning to pick a lock with a spoon/stick/long nails. Then find the keys. Possibly having to crawl through vents to get in the warden’s office. Or making deals with prison inmates. Like, I’ll get this for you if you give me that (however they extract a promise that the rogue can’t kill anyone with whatever they help them with.) So they are in prison literally doing errands like find freeze’s weapons in exchange for him telling them the passcode to the gate or something. Or getting Waylon some meat from the cafeteria and he’ll break the lock on this movable vault that has materials to make smoke bombs they can use to distract the front guards. 

These kids are just going wild and it gets to the point where Arkham has to call the bats (like no Waylon, we won’t escape with you, we have to do it without breaking any walls!) So literally the only reason they are not escaping is because they want to do it ‘right’. But they are also aiding other rogues in their escape (at least certain ones. They aren’t helping joker no matter what he offers)

It’s driving the bats mad. They have vigilantes stationed in each hall, in multiple monitor rooms.

They aren’t even using anything clever to block the cameras. They’re using mirrors. Mirrors! Where did they even get so many handheld mirrors! 

They are running circles around the bats. The escaped rogues literally aren’t doing anything yet because they want to see how the three hellions will escape the entire bat clan. They have bets going. So there is a temporary truce.

Just imagine the conversations/interrogations the bats will have with trio, trying to figure out their master plan - because surely there's something more going on than three chaos young adults playing a game, right?

They trio each have a different story. And they are so passionate/convincing actors that no one knows which story is real. At least one of them told a sob story with legitimate tears.

Danny: (all mysterious) You shall never know our master plan….until it is too late. And just casually dropping hints that there is something greater or that the bats are playing right into their hands. Even using ridiculous scenarios like yesss the ketchup explosion in the cafeteria….We are one step further….Mwa ha ha! (Rubs his hands together)

Sam: (absolutely distraught with literal tears running down her face and ruining her mascara.) There is a terrible organization holding their parents hostage. They had been framed and forced to be in Arkham. If they don’t do exactly as they are told, their loved ones are in danger! Should we stay? Should we escape and help them!? No one will believe us and what if we make things worse? We don’t know what to do!

Tucker: (takes a long slurp of a smoothie. Where he got one? No one knows). Yeah we were bored and had nothing better to do than mess with you guys. (Sluuuuurp).

The bats are trying to figure it out. Is the black haired guy telling the truth and the other two are just manipulating them? Is it the girl and the others are only following the plot of the organization? IS THE BARET KID RIGHT AND THEY’RE JUST MESSING WITH US!? WHICH STORY IS IT!?

Under normal circumstances, Sam wouldn’t give a sob story because It’s not really her vibe. But Sam has the opportunity to pull one over on a bat. Do you honestly think she won’t take a chance to mess with them? Also, Dick is the one who is interrogating Sam.

He’s crying too by the end of the story.

Poor guy, Sam will play his heart like a fiddle. 

Also, their fake identities are Jordan for Danny. Mortica for Sam (or Macey for short) and Phineas for Tucker. The fact that they are using fake identities is the only thing they all agree on in the interview. But the bats find nothing on them and the identities are so realistic they wonder if they are even fake at all. If the three are faking fake IDs to throw them off their tail from looking deeper. Apparently their ‘parents’ having a missing persons report.

Damian is interrogating Danny. It’s just so easy to rile him up and get under his skin. It’s absolute drama in that interrogation room. 

Danny: ah yessss. Master plan.

Damian: you shall never succeed! Justice shall prevail evil scum!

And Duke is interrogating Tucker. He just…has no idea how to respond to this. He wasn’t trained for this response. Hostile, yes. Mysterious, yes. Scared, yes. Civilian, yes. Even Flirtatious! YES! But not…this. What does he do? should he take out his note cards?

Also, I’m adding a mix of home alone elements to this. They have to get past the bats somehow and it can’t be lethal. Poor Jason and Steph who are patrolling the halls fall victim to most of this.

At one point, both of them are tied up together and hanging from the ceiling. While the trio just casually walk by under them. 

It’s dental floss. Really strong dental floss.

Then the bats start taking sides. 

Jason? once he hears Sam's story, he's immediately willing to help her. He and Dick are searching for that missing person's report almost religiously.

Tim believes Danny's story. part of it is because it makes the most sense, and the other part is that he's slightly biased from becoming an evil megalomaniac in every timeline he's seen so he's subconsciously trying to stop that from happening here.

Cass believes Tucker because come on, it's Cass.

Steph is siding with Tim because her father was cluemaster so same reasons.

Bruce is trying to fact check all of them and is failing desperately.

Sam added some ‘clues’ in her interrogation and basically threw the GIW under the bus as the organization. So the bats do find a shady organization but so far no missing persons so the other bats still don’t know if what Sam is saying is true or not while Dick takes this as absolute proof and Jason feels like it doesn’t matter if she’s telling the truth at this point. It’s a corrupt organization. So he’ll still blow it up.

I think in this AU, the GIW isn’t a threat and more of an annoyance so Sam just plays them up as even worse. Like, she doesn’t say anything untrue just makes it sound worse out of context. Oh yeah, they opened fire on this random kid. (Gregory when they thought he was phantom) Oh yes, they have destroyed Danny’s house at one point. (The prank war with Vlad) Yes, the have an unhealthy obsession with dissecting people. (Even though they are too incompetent to actually catch anyone).

So again, they don’t know if Sam is telling the truth of the organization or they just used this random organization to draw their attention away from the three’s plans (as Danny implied). Possibly an enemy organization or a competitor.

I know everyone makes the GIW a big threat but I decided to change it up. They aren’t a threat but still get obliterated by a pissed off Red Hood and Nightwing.

And that’s  another reason why Sam gives the sob story. Danny and Tucker are great but they wouldn’t actually sick a crime lord on the GIW. Sam? Absolutely would. She does not care what happens to them. They tore up her garden one time with a stray shot. She wants revenge. And sure, she didn’t actually know what would happen to them after the bats find out but she still doesn’t care.

And through all of this, the rogues are sitting back and eating popcorn while Joker screams bloody murder from his cell. 

[generic-sonic-fan]

Omega assigns "FAVORITE MEATBAG STATUS" to whoever does something that he likes and you better believe that Rouge and Shadow compete tooth and fucking nail for it.

[humanityinahandbag]

Steve: I identify as bisexual!

Robin: I'm so proud of you, dingus! It's just so amazing to watch you learn more about yourself and-

Steve: I also identify as a doofusexual.

Robin: ... sorry?

Eddie: [in the distance] Hey Steve, what do you and the rebel base have in common?

Eddie: You're both so Hoth.

Steve: ...

Steve: [taking off his shirt] goddammit Eddie I had things to do today.

[checkadii]

ouhhhghg I miss the kitties ….

[vagueiish]

i don't vibe with astarion as a father for a host of reasons

i do vibe with him being a 'grunkle stan, if grunkle stan were played by bayonetta' type of relative, tho

[diluc33rpm]

the romance/relationship system in bg3 is genuinely some of the worst designed shit i've ever seen in any game with that feature but at least the memes we get out of it are funny. once saw someone comment something along the lines of 'patch note: waving at gale will no longer cause him to buy a house for the two of you to retire in' and i've never recovered since

[roobylavender]

do you believe Bruce is emotionally abusive? ik fans prioritise physical abuse and ultimately ignore emotional abuse tactics like parentification etc because it’s not “that bad”. I don’t believe Dick ever resents Bruce for letting him be robin (he’s grateful for it) , but in ntt he mostly resents him for being emotionally closed off, and rejecting him as a partner. Bruce worries for his kids safety so he pushes the whole “if you’re not perfect you’re dead” mentality onto Dick which ultimately is harmful to him. He’ll never regret being a hero but the rift between the two isn’t just a “we want different things” scenario but more that they’re incapable of giving the other what they want.

bruce being emotionally closed off from dick is what’s revisionist about that version of canon though. i think bruce can be bad at communicating sometimes esp when he’s deeply pained (like in knightfall, for example) but for the most part he and dick are shown to have great communication for decades before new teen titans and the adjacent post crisis starlin canon starts to rewrite that dynamic into something else entirely. per that version of canon i do believe he’s emotionally abusive but it’s not a version of canon i particularly appreciate bc it requires overriding the dynamic they had previously where they could certainly be prone to disagree at times but bruce was nonetheless willing to have an open and understanding conversation with dick about whatever the disagreement was. even the whole idea that bruce is responsible for dick believing that he has to be perfect or he has to be dead is one that new teen titans cements (or that issue of batman where bruce makes dick quit and jason is introduced thereafter)

i get that it’s easy to take new teen titans as gospel bc it is in essence the textbook source for dick but i think there should be some awareness too of how it twists that relationship between them and not necessarily for the better. i’m not opposed to bruce having faults he has to answer for. i absolutely agree he’s not cognizant enough of the complexes dick develops as a result of wanting to be seen as an equal, and thereby can’t realize the effect it has on dick for him to still be protective and fearful even if it’s ultimately out of goodwill and love. and there’s also the fact that even if he gives dick the space he desires to lead his own life it doesn’t mean he should be hesitant to reach out bc he’s afraid he’ll overstep by doing so, as a parent he should reaffirm his love for dick regularly regardless of knowing he might get some pushback bc dick is growing into his own (again, knightfall is a really superb example of this). but i also think those are tensions you can wholeheartedly explore without rendering bruce into a controlling and abusive figure, and i’m not sure who it benefits to write bruce as such in the long run

some of dick’s problems have to be his own, and he’ll never escape bruce���s shadow if the only source point of issues in his life is his relationship with bruce. that’s something i would actually apply to the robins at large. hardly any of them are allowed to explore problems entirely unique to themselves and i think that’s in large part bc writers simultaneously portray a mildly to explicitly abusive bruce at their leisure while refusing to ever actually address the elephant in the room that is literally of their own creation. a lot of people believe the bruce shouldn’t be an abuser argument is framed entirely as a resistance to bruce’s character assassination and for me i can admit that’s part of it, but a more pertinent part of it should also be the fact that bruce being written as an abuser is what truly chains his children to him forever to the point that they can never grow beyond that abuse bc writers refuse to allow them to. imagine the problems the robins could be addressing individually in their lives if not everything came down to them being fucked up bc that’s the way bruce raised them or failed to thereby. there’s a lot about the robins as individuals that’s deeply interesting and i think it’s not just a disservice to bruce but to them as well to write the relationships this way bc it obscures their own agency and ability to be explored for more than a haunted legacy narrative

[mo-ok]

Letting Go /// Holding On

[akkivee]

i feel very seen as someone who draws buff kuukou lmao

[fingertipsmp3]

Living in a small town for pretty much all your life is like being in a sitcom that’s been going on for way too long

[spider-man-2o99]

miguel voice Hahaa quit playing mind games you ass ill shocking kill you. if you ever shocking pull a stunt like this again i am turning your insides into your outsides tyler . 

[chuchuscoolhat]

Is Chuuya a cat guy asking for maybe a cat girl or no

❝ Nah, I'm more of a dog kinda person. If I had the time, I'd take nine of them but as how things are going, I'd rather give that chance to someone else. ❞ Money wasn't an issue after all, yet even he was aware that things like that couldn't just be solved with money or cheap love. With arms sprawled around the back of the sofa, he throws his head back as his gaze wanders lost in the ceiling, pondering for a bit about the poster of puppies he saw hanged on the town's headboard not too long ago. Call it a longing for some sense of normalcy in his life or perhaps something tied to that unconscious aptitude he had for protecting . Caring . It didn't end up mattering much as it all ended up feeling strangely finite and distant.

Tilting his head slightly to the side, he looks up from under his hat at Ashmi's eyes ❝ However by the look in your eyes, somethin' tells me you are searching for another answer, doll. ❞

[socksboxsketches]

Text:

1. “ pickles… disgusting.”

2. “ just ask for none next time”

3. “ nah, they’d just do it again”

4. “THIS IS USELESS, EVISCERATE EVERYTHING”

[ultraviolencced]

*finds out who trapped and injured my cat*

my mom: shows up at his door with a bat

[lilgynt]

shit my partner has done in the last 48 hours: one. make fun of my dad who just got out of the hospital bc he beat me as kid allegedly two. slapped my ass in front my old coworkers bc she genuinely hates their guts