#aspd tendencies
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So sick of people with violent tendencies being censored because it’s hard to infantilize someone who wants to rip someone else to shreds or kill/torture them in any horrific way 😪 or something because that’s easier than treating people who are neurodivergent as humans.
#die empaths#npd safe#aspd safe#actually aspd#violent thoughts#violent tendencies#homicidal ideation#schizospec#neurodivergent#aspd#actually npd#sociopath#psychopath#npd#borderline personality disorder#bipolar disorder#cluster b#bpd#actually borderline
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@uszkovo (This is probably toxic and maladaptive thinking but I'm using this to make a point and whatever)
Cause while I agree with that, I'm talking about long term. Firstly, in a SoCiETy with laws, solving the problem is the only long term way to get people to shut up. People will always be mad and whinge if their needs aren't met and other that killing people, the only way to make them shut up is to meet those needs. Yeah its more efficient in the short run to hurt or scare someone silent or to leave, but then they will either come back and be loud about it again, make the environment and vibes shit, or cause issues elsewhere thatd bother me again OR Ill have to forfeit an area I want to be in if I just regularly leave.
If you can't remove them from the area, then the only long term solution is to, well solve it and often solving that is just making needs get met.
Secondly, I have resources I am not using that others are whining about not having. I don't know about you but if we are talking abput easy and efficient, moving my garbage to someone else who wants it rather than the actual trash that will pollute the earth is a lot easier and more efficient then mind games, manipulation and the energy it would take to maintain any form of negative reinforcement to get them to shut up or do what I want.
People respond better and more reliably to positive reinforcement and treatment
Plus if we are looking in the long run, if you establish a positive rapport with people by providing them shit they are much more likely to listen to you in the future and respect your wishes and requests than if you have established a negative rapport to get them to respond
In short, its a long term solution cause I don't have the energy or will to keep biting heads off of people that only mildly annoy me with whinging
This however does not apply to people that greatly piss me off. I don't have the self restraint and impulse control or level of emotional regulation to put aside my personal annoyance and hate to rationally handle people who excessively piss me off and thats just real honest talk.
Writing this on short time so it might not be the best response but its what I have to give atm
EDIT: Reading back on my original post, my simple response now that I know what this was responding to in the first place is simply
Why wouldn't I? My garbage is just sitting there rotting, whats so difficult about moving my garbage 10 ft to where it won't rot and ALSO make someone shut up.
My main issue aint whingey whining people. My main issue is the inefficiency of people. Solving whining people is a silverlining and secondary bonus to just doing what makes fucking sense. Im not motivated inherently to make whining people shut up. Im motivated to not let my trash rot pointlessly when it can be doing something with 0.2% more effort.
-XIV
Riku's clowning over the fact that despite me being the largest NPD/ASPD trait havers in the system, that I am also the most """charity""" motivated - and I put that in big """ """" cause I really hate calling it that and framing it as that - cause everyones like "People with NPD / ASPD are inherently EVIL and inherently abusers yee haw oui oui I'm so special I have empathy"
And I'm gonna try to exercise some cognitive empathy and assume the reason empathy-havers are like that is because (in my experience and opinion who has felt guilt and remorse like, once or twice and never want to again) empathy is a fucking curse and horrible thing to feel and experience. Its such a negative motivator to do things and its very good at making people feel so bad that they feel the need to "do something good" to relieve the tension and misery that having empathy is. So I don't think its to much of a stretch that people with empathy and "eMpAThS" are so used to having their empathy holding them at fucking gun point 24/7 that they don't understand that you don't NEED to feel like shit to see that shits flawed and stupidly broken for literally no reason.
Like I have very very very low empathy - may that be due to autism, trauma, or whatever, I literally could count the times Ive experienced what I think is empathy on one hand (albeit I do have memory issues so do with that what you will) and the reason I try to help people and donate shit is the same reason I literally do all my shit - positive or not - and its simply cause I don't see a good answer to "why not", "why shouldn't I"
Like back when I was younger and a lot more immature and in the depths of trauma, yeah I never would have because my question was "why SHOULD I do anything nice for anyone" and I'd look at people struggling and go "lol you just suck get good at life why are you struggling lol you and your stupid decisions and shut the fuck up your whining is annoying"
But like, you grow the fuck up and you actually see how shit in the world works and that question of "why are you struggling get good mate and shut the fuck up your whining is annoying" gets answered with a "yeah life sucks people are corrupt the system is broken and they've been trapped in a quicksand pit of poverty so the rich can get richer and the poor can get poorer"
Which then, with my chronic "why are you whining do something about it or shut the fuck up" ass to better or worse I go "okay then why are they having to whine, feed them so they can shut the fuck up" cause like, so much fucking food is thrown away from every household of people who buy too much and don't eat it or buy food that they find out they dont like
So like why the fuck aren't we putting 5 minutes out of our day when we clean out our fridges to bring it to the local homeless person / family / impoverished individual who has to beg for survival shit to get them through the day?
Like literally Why Not?
And like I think a lot of other NPD/ASPD havers are sometimes caught up in the fact that being angry, mad, dominant, and "uncaring" is this huge defense mechanism and crap to make them feel secure - at least to some level - and so the thought that being """charitable""" sounds anti-intuitive to their sense of self, but like, whats edgier and more anti-systemic anti-societal normas anti-capitalist and ""punk"" than looking at the stupid shit we're conditioned to and being secure enough in your life, identity, and ability to care for yourself that you can casually help someone struggling
Like empathy havers are like "UWU IF YOU DONT FEEL BAD FOR THEM YOUD NEVER DO ANYTHING NICE" like
No like, its just fucking STUPID to not. It's inefficient. Like I'm not gonna act like I don't care about helping out cause like I'm not a fraud and yeah, giving someone something nice is a small pat on the back - but largely for me its literally just a matter of WHY NOT.
Like WHY. What reason is there to NOT do it? Like completely valid if you don't have the money, spoons, physical ability and all to do it - this is not a matter of "give out more than you can" but a comment on "if you HAVE excess and more than you need and more than you can use why NOT give it out to some who will use it"
It literally just does not make sense on a completely and purely logic / rational basis. If you are going to let your shit sit, rot, and join a trash pile in the middle of the Atlantic, why not give it to someone who could use it - let their day and maybe multiple days be good for a bit, give them less of a need to work hard and sit baking out in the sun and lessen the amount of waste and garbage polluting the earth.
Like I don't fucking need empathy for this to be so frustratingly stupid to see being a "norm" in the world where people just DONT. I don't need someone putting a fucking emotional gun to my head to be motivated to do something that just makes basic fucking common sense and I don't need to be baited with intense feel good dopamine to do it.
Like Imma be fucking Ben Shapiro here and come on guys its fucking FACTS and LOGIC, it doesn't have to be this whole uwu empathy uwu think of the children uwu shit. It can literally be "this is a broken system and it just fucking pisses me off so to be a little less pissed off at how stupid and irrational the system is I do what people SHOULD be doing because I CAN and why the FUCK would I perpetuate the stupid normalized ideas that are FUCKING STUPID."
Ugh. Jesus fucking christ I hate America and Capitalism and just this stupid fucking country honest to god. I don't know if its as bad elsewhere (probably) but jesus christ.
-XIV
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the question is do i fill my chronic boredom with destructive decisions or with sex
#actually aspd#actually mentally ill#actually npd#clusterb#aspd#cluster b#actually bpd#npd#actuallyaspd#actuallynpd#anhedonia#actuallybpd#bpd#chronic boredom#actually antisocial#actually narcissistic#antisocial personality disorder#narcissistic personality disorder#narc abuse isnt real#narc abuse isn't real#nymphomaniac#hypersexual#self sabotage#self destructive tendencies#self destructive behavior#impulsive
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My god complex makes life so much easier for me
It also makes me want to violently murder anyone who acts like they're better than me in any way.
-Maia
#Maia's posts#aspd holder#npd holder#rage holder#no empathy#no sympathy#no guilt#no remorse#cluster b#violent thoughts#homicidal ideation#homicidal tendencies#homicidal thoughts#violent tendencies#anger issues#rage issues#actually antisocial#actually aspd#actually cluster b#actually narcissistic#actually npd#actually mentally ill#npd#aspd#antisocial personality disorder#antisocial pd#narcissistic#narcissistic personality disorder#narcissism#npd safe
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i see so many posts on this site being like "i want someone who is obsessed with me" "get me a partner who will smother me" "i need you to want to crawl inside my skin" etc etc etc but what about those of us who want to lovingly sit near each other without speaking and just exist with each other? what about those of us who aren't very traditionally romantic but still crave intimacy? those of us who wont remember to text you 24/7 or always be okay with touching or talking but still have so much love in our hearts and want to be able to express that in our own way? those of us who hate most romcoms because theyre too cheesey and sappy but would be delighted to watch some dumb comedy or a movie thats so-bad-its-good so we can make fun of it the whole time?
i consider myself a romantic, but my version of romance is so far off from what ive seen anyone else talk about, but i Know i cant be alone in this. so if youre a non-romantic romantic, just know you are worthy of love and if i can manage to find not one but Two partners who love me for who i am and my lack of traditional romance, then so can you
#romance#obsessive love#nonromantic#autistic#autism#actually autistic#arospec#<- im not aro but maybe some of yall on this spectrum can relate#casual intimacy#actually audhd#audhd#adhd#cluster b#ptsd#aspd#antisocial tendencies#neurodivergent#npd
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I really wish I could understand what the hell is wrong with Andrew
like with Ashley it's so easy for me to see a traumatized girl whose parents didn't love her enough who lands pretty high end on a sociopathy scale and therefore has got an awful time trying to fit in into the groups around her
those around her can tell there's something off about her and wind up leaving her alone making her see herself as forced to manipulate and abuse her brother into staying with her to the point of creating a codependent emotionally incestuous relationship
but like its not just her
theres something wrong with andrew too and i cant figure out what it is like he isn't just stuck into the caretaker role with Ashley beyond purposefully choosing her to keep taking care of her
like he kills people too hes alright with screwing anybody else over if it means staying with her
like what's wrong with him he definitely doesnt seem to be the same as Ashley because he did have a girlfriend and apparently some friends before they got locked away into their apartment
and before Ashley harassed them into abandoning him
so does he just see himself as intrinsically linked to her like his whole identity has become just being able to take care of her
is it self loathing as well that he's different from the rest and he needs her to be there to be able to keep blaming her for his own misdeeds
Does he just love her so he doesnt want to let go of her and is willing to stand through everything for his love
and i guess they are trauma bonded together as well as only having each other maybe he is also afraid he wotn make it on his own without ashley by his side without some motive to live
is he that haunted by his own actions that he literally cannot bare to live if he doesnt have somebody else to take the burden for him so he cannot let go of the only person who helps him with that
Ashley also said its because shes the only person he can be real with that he cant bare to lose her but beyond the 'you cant sleep withouth me' claim andrew didnt dispute her
god i dont get that guy at all i love him so much
#Luna's meta#the coffin of andy and leyley#ashley#andrew#i definetly need to look deeper into the caretaker side of codepency i also saw some people saying that andrew could be aspd as well but i#dont think so and saying well hes got tendencies doesnt really mean much to me because so does everybody else so yeah#i dont get him im in love with him choke me please
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My daily cycle of mood swings:
Anyways here’s more of how I feel on the daily:
Oh and this is how I also feel daily too:
I am accustomed to the pain, pain and pleasure are the same to me:
#pinned post#personality disorder#no empathy#npd traits#aspd#hpd#actually cluster b#histrionic pd#cluster b safe#actually hpd#actually narcissistic#actually aspd#actually npd#actually histrionic#actually autistic#actually mentally ill#actually bpd#actually obsessive#actually did#actually plural#memory loss#narcissistic personality disorder#emotionally detached#emotionally numb#actually borderline#actually dissociative#bpd#bpd safe#traumagenic system#self destructive tendencies
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My little sister is a bit h a stupid one at that
She's so fucking annoying she ain't sh t she tries to act like me be like me and it infuriates me she can fuk off
Trying to act like a fighter or violent person pssh fucking hilarious she's a pussy if she actually got into a fight she'd piss herself scared
I've fought since I was a child my mom literally had to put a lock on her bedroom door (not proud /just for reference)
I've fought a grown ass man when I was just a teen and won the fight granted I spent
a whole whopping month in juvenile jail but whatever (my fault)
I'd at this point i'd love to fight her and put her in her rightful place (bloody n on the ground)
I've done it with one sister I'll do it again
If she doesn't stop disrespecting our mother and being a cvnt I will definitely do so gladly
#personal vent#aspd vent#violent tendencies#no remorse#tw talk of violence#no guilt#no sympathy#no empathy#i still sometimes feel like people take me saying this shit as a joke im not joking im being deadly serious#dont fucking think im joking 😃#aspd rage#aspd thoughts#aspd things#aspd safe#actually aspd#npd safe#cluster b#actuallymentallyill
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// oh yeah. all loaders have aspd btw. (real and true no fake)
#[ source: dude trust me ]#[ actually source is “FIRST LAW DISABLED” <- no empathy + utter disregard for human life + violent tendencies yippee 😊😊🥰🥰🥰 ]#D43M0N.ECHO#[ loader bot (tftb) is so autistic and aspd coded. to me. and i'm very smart and correct on this. ]
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I’m still in the process of stopping myself from regurgitating ideas just because I was told it was a moral obligation.
“You shouldn’t NOT want to be with people. you need to not be lonely” and “killing is wrong” is somehow carried with the same emphasis, so my brain automatically goes, “yeah, they carry the same moral weight!” since I cope with antisocial tendencies + very very bad homicidal ideation.
Turns out, one is a preference of a way of living and the other is just “no you shouldn’t do that. It’s illegal.”
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Seeing as I just got my diagnosis of level 1 autism (what used to be called “Asperger’s”) coincidentally at the same time that my partner and I started watching NBC’s Hannibal series, I’ve been having a couple thoughts about neurotypical vs. neurodivergent experiences regarding “toggling” different emotional responses. Motivation, empathy, fear, etc. are malleable to some, fixed to others; and sometimes, to those who aren’t born with an automatic reflex in one area or another, it’s a little like breathing or blinking on purpose.
Sometimes (and I think this is the autism at play, now that I have a chance to reframe most of my behavioral tendencies in a new light), someone will tell me a joke, or mention something funny—you know how it is, something genuinely funny—enough to “tickle” my internal sense of humor. But sometimes, even though it does, I feel no physiological urge to laugh.
So, when that happens, I kind of just … pull one out manually.
Sure, some people might think it’s disingenuous. One might make the claim that I don’t actually feel any appreciation for the joke, and instead it is societal pressure to placate the other that motivates me to do it. But the thing is … it’s not. It just isn’t. Even if it doesn’t sound like amusement without dialing up my affect, I do find it funny. It’s just that sometimes a wire in my brain doesn’t quite connect, and I have to push to make the appropriate Human Sounds in order to indicate that I just experienced humor.
The sensation is there, but the action is mindful. Even if I slip up or forget or aren’t diligent enough with how it sounds, I know for a fact that I did find the joke funny, even if the teller thinks I’m only politely going along with it. From what I understand about identifying emotions, it would seem that there is no difference between a choice and a reflex.
This is one example. There are many others, and they all relate to different experiences and emotional deficits. Fake laugh? Ehhh. Intentional laugh? Oh, definitely.
And I think sometimes, for certain individuals, loving is a bit like that, too.
#so yeah basically i really want to believe in mister people eater’s ability to care#even if his demonstrations are#to put it mildly#avant-garde#hannibal#neurodivergence#autism#adhd#personality disorder#aspd#masking#empathy#in the real world too im a big proponent of divorcing ideas of goodness from empathy levels#the way iq is your comprehension and not your intelligence#and in fact#i try not to use the term ‘empathy’ at all#unless it’s literally in reference to how much a person can reflexively feel someone else’s emotions#because ‘compassion’#the tendency to#by choice or impulse#put in the work required to understand and accommodate someone#is a much better word#if you’re severely antisocial and you have a friend#and the ‘only reason’ you keep them around is because they ‘benefit’ you#but you also understand that treating them like shit will make them not want to be your friend#and therefore make an effort to consciously act as though you care how they feel#guess what#that’s love#you’re willing to accommodate because you like the world better when they’re next to you#that’s love.
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need advice for aspd homocidal tendencies
(vent below, cw gruesome animal death)
i only disassemble dead animals. i never kill animals. dead bugs and roadkill and natural deaths i will cut apart but holy shit. this morning has been so fucking awful for no good reason
i feed the birds and squirrels, so there’s always a busy backyard. it’s perfectly legal for me to set a trap on my property. it’s legal to kill it humanely, but as i thought about feeding them peanut butter rat poison, i saw that “two blows to the head” is acceptable.
i can hear it screaming and it curdles my blood in such a good way. i want to hear it shriek and try to run away from me, i want it to scramble in the trap, defenseless, and i want to see its brain head under a rock.
i’m too keyed up to dissect it, and i would have to get rid of it relatively quickly. i can spend some time getting all of my anger out, stabbing or blunt force. if i killed something, i may as well go all out. what if im not fully satisfied at the end? what do i do, kill another? no. i have to keep it contained.
i’ve spent more time than i’d like to admit researching squirrel traps. i don’t want to kill an animal. animals haven’t done anything wrong. i can’t kill a person.
#actually aspd#homocidal tendencies#aspd homocidal tendencies#aspd advice#aspd thoughts#aspd safe#violent mental illness#animal death
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the borderline symptoms in early to mid-teens to npd sublimation cope pipeline
#this post is about me specifically hi#I spent a decent chunk of my teenage years flipping back and forth on whether or not I had bpd#then a bunch of shit happened (including me getting my hormones in order) and I realized that no#it’s actually grandiose npd and aspd/antisocial tendencies#+ bipolar 2#in combination the symptoms can look really similar to bpd#or at least in my case. this isn’t advice I don’t know you#faustian.txt
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no idea how you are irl but at least on here you come across as needy yes but like in a cute ashley kind of way? like idk maybe im just into that but like your whole vibe is well... needy little sister and also based and gay anti-corpo. i dig the whole vibe
Aww, are you saying you are into me~?
Jeje sorry I jest, this message is just really nice though. I vibe with your vibes too ^-^
I am really needy tbh, irl I do my best to not be so needy and be as normalpilled as possible, with mixed success, but you know, the attempt is made.
I do my best to stay based, but also, genuinely, I really do hate corporations and capitalism as a whole with a burning passion. I'm actually an unironic anarchist as well, so yeah, I'm just queer and disabled and with a bone to pick with the State.
#i am definitely a pretty needy little sister which probably fuels the brocon tendencies i got going on tbh#i do actually identify a lot with Ashley that's why i push the ASPD Ashley agenda all the time#she just like me fr#and about capitalism i just deeply hate the fact that its basically forced us to sell our humanity our soul our art our time our health our#bodies our everything really and what for for a flawed system built in oppressing and selling my people#so the rich white people can get richer and the rest of us can die like disposable meat#yeah no i much rather everybody has a roof over their head education water hygiene and food by virtue of being a living breathing human#being thank you very much#being disabled is just the world constantly showing you it isn't built for you and my life is making it through every single day no matter#what#soleil asks#Sasha
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What is jirai?
Jirai/landmine/地雷 (romaji/english/kanji)
Jirai is a subculture based in Japan. It popped up around 2020 as kids-young adults where running away to live in Toyoko (therefor the name Toyoko kids). There they would make money via usually unsafe ways. They usually ran away because of the pressures of society and they knew they would find people like them in Toyoko. Most of the jirais who all hung out/'lived' in the street would engage in self destructive tendencies like s3lf h@rm, substance abuse, clubs/host clubs, pr0stituti0n and more.
Jirais are people who dont want to get better/dont care about getting better/want to get worse. there are jirais who flip flop between wanting to get better and wanting to get worse but the majority dont want to get better. We often find comfort in being messed up
credit 2 The Japan Times for this picture
Jirai started off as an insult towards mentally ill ppl/the toyoko kids in Japan. Jirai was/is now reclaimed by actual jirais. Even where i live in Canada ive been called a landmine as an insult.
Often jirais have mental illnesses/disorders that make them have mood swings or make them "act crazy" (ex. bpd, bipolar, npd, aspd, ect).
Jirai fashion. What is it reallly?
The fashion associated with jirai is called dark girly kei and it falls under the girly kei umbrella. Now its less in fashion in Japan with jirais (there are still jirais who wear it!)
credit 2 lolitainside for the first pic
The classic makeup associated with jirai is called pien makeup. Its supposed to give off a sad look or like this emoji: 🥺
Saying all it is is a fashion/ignoring the roots of jirai can and is watering it down. Going into jirai spaces and trying to "reclaim" it as just a fashion is dumb as it was/still is an insult towards actual jirais.
Often asked questions.
Q: Is jirai only for female people?
A: Nope any gender can be jirai!
Q: Do you have to wear the stereotypical jirai fashion to be jirai?
A: Nope! Jirai is a lifestyle. Youre just more likely for people to recognize that youre a jirai if you wear dark girly kei.
Q: What if i want to wear dark girly but im not a jirai?
A: Wear whatever you want! You only live once. I would suggest to stay away from calling yourself jirai tho. Not only cuz it can water our safe space down but also so people dont assume things about you that are not true.
This hopefully made sense if not i can try to explain farther! And id love to hear other peoples sides!
#jiraiblogging#jirai lifestyle#landmine type#jirai info#jirai fashion#landmine fashion#irl jirai#landmineblogging#jiraiblr#landmine lifestyle#lifestyle landmine#toyoko kids#landmineblr#lifestyle jirai#jirai joshi#jirai#jirai blogging#jirai kei#jirai onna#jirai community#jirai girl#jirai life#jirai posting#jirai type#jiraikei#landmine jirai#landmine girl#irl landmine#landmine#landmine kei
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Cluster b culture is trying to research cluster b disorders, and every article by official mental health organisations talking about how we all exhibit abusive tendencies or whatever.
We are not all abusers
We are not all abusers
WE ARE NOT ALL ABUSERS
WE ARE NOT ALL FUCKING ABUSERS!!
I'm genuinely so sick of it. I found one fucking article that talks about people with aspd like, yk, ACTUAL FUCKING HUMAN BEINGS. And guess what? It wasn't that fucking hard after all. It's really easy to talk about people like they're more than just potential abusers. Cause ANYONE CAN BE AN ABUSER, REGARDLESS OF WHAT IS OR ISN'T WRONG WITH THEM. WE ARE HUMAN, PLEASE FUCKING TREAT US LIKE IT FINALLY
.
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