#as well as physical health

[monochromatictoad]

Uuhhggg

My motivation for Selfshiptober is very quickly draining. Maybe it wasn't a good idea to try and force myself to write to get out of my funk. I can't keep up with the prompts anymore, and I'm eleven (11) days behind, so what's the point in trying to finish it?

It's not just Selfshiptober, but self shipping in general. My motivation for it is dwindling, and I'm struggling to connect with the community recently.

It doesn't help that I'm pretty sure Tumblr has been eating the asks I've been sending others to try and engage with them...

[bismutharts]

this zine may not be about you. for a long time these thoughts were in my brain but only to lovingly yell at my friends. this zine may be about you but not helpful to you at this time. i hope it's helpful to some though.

if you like this zine you may also like the body neutrality movement. and the song "can't go back" by the crane wives, which i kinda quoted as well. leave the rest behind.

this is part of my project to make a zine a day in april

some things that didn't fit in this zine were:

you gotta learn. you gotta learn that learning doesn't mean feeling bad.

it doesn't help you act right to feel bad about previous things. guilt is useful to a point. that point is reached when you know what you did wrong

[twosdays-trash]

I have beef with the FIA and the lack of safety they promote within F1.

While Formula 1 is considered the safest its been ever with its current safety measures put in place for drivers, i feel its also one of the most toxic environments for drivers at the same time

Motorsports are a feeding ground for people who are willing to do whatever they can to race and win, f1 isnt the exclusive with this "i will race regardless" mentality (looking at you motoGP), and they certainly wont be the last. But i feel that due to the large amount of fans and media that comes with f1 it is very important to be more open and push for driver safety in both physical and mental aspects.

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I mostly wanna focus on three different things in this: the medical/safety procedures in the case of an accident, the physical health of the drivers, and mental health of the drivers.

This is not an attack on the medical/safety staff that are taking care of the drivers, they are doing wonders and are amazing. I'm criticizing the FIA for the procedures that should be updated or changed in order to ensure greater safety on and off the track.

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1 - the medical/safety procedures in the case of an accident

In the case of an accident in f1 i have noticed that it takes medical and safety Marshalls a long time to get to the scene of the accident due to the location of the safety cars. With the medical cars being exclusively located in the pitlane it takes the cars around 5 minutes, give or take, depending on length of track, location of the crash, and if its the 1st lap, to get to the accident.

In these high speed situations, especially in f1 where they dont have spotters, its incredibly dangerous to let drivers continue to drive full speed for long after a crash. Due to these long periods of time between when a flag is waved and when medical personnel can get to the scene of an accident it is also incredibly dangerous. In many situations that amount of time can greatly increase the chance of injury and heighten the probability of injuries becoming worse like physical wounds, bad concussions, and other cars hitting the already crashed out driver(s).

At one of the practice sessions durring the Indy500 in 2015 James Hinchcliffe crashed into the barrier and was pierced by the car through his leg to his abdomen and was losing a lot of blood. Due to the ability of the safety team to get there in 30 seconds, cut him out, and get him to the hospital so quickly absolutely saved his life.

Compared to an accident that occurs on the opening lap, with the safety car on track, and Marshalls around the track, it still took 2 (two) minutes for anyone to get to max after his massive crash at Silverstone 2021. That is far too long, especially with the caliber and how much speed and G force he encountered during the crash it should have been far more urgent.

Now you might say, "oh but thats only one example in indycar!" Well, Typically the time between the safety car coming to a halt in the crash and the marshals getting to the car it takes between 15-30 seconds regardless on whether its a race or practice/qualifying. 15 TO 30 SECONDS. This speed of arrival also happens regardless of the severity of a crash, seeing as a crash is a crash and is handled as such. This video details how many marshalls are in each car, what they do, and also shows how quickly they arrive at the scene of a crash.

When comparing crashes in terms similarity of the accident in f1 and indy i typically turn to the Fernando Alonso's and Simon Pagenaud's crashes where they flipped over. I find that for as similar as they are the difference in immediate medical attention is wildly different.

Both crashes are incredibly similar seeing as they both hit gravel and did multiple barrel roles the aid afterwards was very different. While Pagenaud needed assistance to be released from his car and Alonso, they both landed against the wall along with landing in similar spots on the track despite the two different locations (and years [Australia 2016 VS Mid Ohio 2023]). Yet it took medical staff half the time to reach Pagenaud compared to Alonso.

When watching these clips I've also noticed the amount of time/what flags are waved in the occurrence of these accidents. With Pagenaud it was an immediate red flag within seconds, where as Alonso was a had a yellow flag that was announced ~40 seconds after and at the same time the marshalls got to him.

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2 - physical health of the Drivers

both sports have incredible care of their drivers and make sure to care for their drivers in the case of an accident, i feel that the mentality and enforcement of post-crash or post-injury care is far too lax in F1.

In f1 i find that the mentality is that of a toxic marriage. Sort of.

They take the "in sickness and in health" very seriously and will drive regardless of the state of their own body. And while its a good mentality to be willing to do as much as you possibly can, there is a limit to what they can and should be doing.

Starting with the OGs, Niki Lauda racing with literal fresh burn wounds and (a separate time) with broken ribs. Mark Webber racing with pins in his broken shin. Lance driving with his broken wrists and toes. Max driving with his concussion (2021). Alex driving 2 days after coming out of a coma from appendicitis. Carlos driving days after the surgery of his appendicitis. QATAR 2023 AS A WHOLE. I can go on and on about different times and instances where drivers are not healed or well enough to drive, yet no one thinks to stop them???

Yes they are adults and they can do what they want as long as their doctors clear them, but there should be a limit, right?

f1 is all about pushing the limit, but should that limit be the physical health and well being of the people driving the cars?

how many possible concussions and injuries get ignored simply because a crash was "small" and didn't set of the G-Force monitor?

And i dont know if its the difference in American VS European culture that allows the drivers in Indycar to seek out help and understand their limits, but its truly amazing seeing how well drivers take care of themselves in Indycar compared to f1.

Not to say f1 drivers dont take care of themselves, they just dont allow themselves to be injured/ill even if they are.

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3 - driver mental health

The stress of the drivers in both series are intense, but wildly different.

Ive found that diet culture is very different in f1 and indycar. Again maybe its the difference of USA vs Europe but i think the main thing is how important weight is in f1 compared to indycar.

Every gram, ounce, and pound is critical in an f1 car and by extension: the driver. Thats why the drivers are always so thin, have lean muscles and are on super strict diets.

Ive brought this up with my family, but when looking at drivers in f1, especially the taller ones like Ocon, its incredibly disconcerting and scary to see men who should be at least 200 pounds being 140. It's even more scary when you hear George Russell talking about how he needs to lose weight in order to get faster.

Its horrifying listening to interviews where drivers talk about weight or food in terms with getting faster. The interview that makes me just absolutely distraught is the one of Nico Rosberg talking about how he "won the championship" becusse he lost weight to gain seconds. He stopped doing things he loved (biking) because he needed to lose muscle weight. He took as much weight as he could off his helmet to get lighter.

Then there is Alex Albon talking about the goal is to lose the most amount of weight possible while still being functional enough to do the race. While he isnt saying it as something bad, comparing it to a boxer losing weight before match, its still insane that they cannot eat/drink as much as they want without "costing" the team time and money.

Its almost on par with models and their diets.

Where as in Indycar many of the drivers talk about going to get burgers, getting beer, eating hearty foods and just gaining muscle without fear or worry is amazing. Not to mention it also seems more normalized for the drivers to talk out and be more open on if they are struggling or generally not having a good time.

Maybe indycar just have more available drivers at hand that they can sub in if needed, but they are also racers and want to drive as soon and as much as possible. Yet in indy they lack that mindset of complete disregard of ones self, for some reason.

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This probably isnt gonna be the last you hear of me on this topic, but i just wanted to put this out there. If theres anything ive missed or didnt cover well enough/incorrectly lmk and ill edit it or make a new post ^^

[canisalbus]

I really appriciate how often Machete is depicted struggling and feeling like a burden, while still being loved and supported by Vasco. It gives the top tier angst of "i'm not good enough, I'm not worth it" but you frame it in such a way where it's clear that's just how he *feels* and is not how things really are, but also it's so nice to see someone who struggles quite often in a loving and unique relationship that suits them. The narrative of not being able to love or be loved unless you're consistently healthy is really tiring lol.

.

[iwritenarrativesandstuff]

On Kurapika's Self-Imposed Isolation

While I recognize that probably everything I'm about to say is going to be super obvious, I just wanted to briefly touch on Kurapika's self-isolation, and the reason behind his not picking up his phone or exchanging anything more than clipped words and business after Yorknew.

I think the obvious answer is that Kurapika doesn't want his friends in harms way, or to be used as a bargaining tool against him. This is an understandable and probably accurate conclusion. After all, Gon and Killua did get taken hostage, and Kurapika was forced to negotiate an exchange. Chrollo picked up on Kurapika's "weakness" right away - that he values his friends' safety before his revenge. Fortunately for Kurapika in this situation, Pakunoda was a whole lot more similar to him than he would've cared to admit, as she placed a value on Chrollo's life even though everyone in the Spider was intended to be replaceable. So, now that he's been through Gon and Killua having potentially gotten killed or seriously hurt, and Chrollo knows that he has a soft spot for them, it does make sense that he would try to push them away for their safety and for the sake of not having an exploitable "weakness" in future. He may also not want to burden them more when they have their own lives to live - he does slip off without telling Gon and Killua for the sake of not distracting them from Nen training, after all.

Except that he already tried all this earlier in Yorknew arc. He tried to tell them they shouldn't get involved, and they all agreed that the risks were massive - but his friends agreed to undergo the risks anyways to help him. Kurapika was even grateful for it - "I have been blessed with good friends."

So, for him to push them away solely for this reason after the fact, knowing that this was very much a likely situation to happen, is a little odd to me. Kurapika knows full well that Leorio would be frustrated, Killua would be offended and Gon would worry. So, I think there's a little more to it than that, and I actually would venture to say that "keeping his friends out of danger" is more a secondary reason for his actions - one that would come across as more of a reasonable excuse to others.

The primary reason is likely a lot more selfish than that. Kurapika has to ensure his mission comes first. And unfortunately, he is fully aware that his path and choice in abilities is deeply self-destructive.

Kurapika needs to make sure that he doesn't have exploitable weaknesses, sure, but he also just as much needs to purposefully worsen his headspace - and he can't do that with those three around.

Think back, what are the happiest moments we see from Kurapika in the series? The one that comes to mind first, and the one I'm sure most of us will think of immediately, is this:

[ID: A screenshot from the 2011 anime adaptation. Kurapika smiles - he looks at ease. End ID.]

It's one of the sweetest scenes of the series imo, right before the whole group is reunited for the first time since the Zoldyck Family arc, and it's even more notable because it comes immediately on the tail end of this...

[ID: Three panels from HxH Chapter 101. Kurapika removes his contacts over the sink. His expression is distant. End ID.]

...and this...

[ID: A panel from HxH Chapter 101. A close up of Kurapika's vacant and furious expression, his eyes wide and dangerous as he says "It might as well be you." Though the art is in black and white, it's apparent his eyes have gone scarlet. End ID.]

...and this.

[ID: A panel from HxH Chapter 101. A distant Kurapika speaks on the phone on a rooftop at night, the cityscape of Yorknew around him dark, but speckled with lights and stars. He says "The Spiders are dead." His face is not visible to the reader. End ID.]

This is, up to this point in the series, Kurapika at his lowest. In contrast to Gon, who is happy to hear that the Spiders are dead already because now Kurapika can focus solely on finding his peoples' eyes, Kurapika... is clearly not happy - and that's because killing the Spiders himself isn't just revenge. It's penance. It's survivor's guilt. Kurapika's powers, which Izunavi even comments sound much like he is chaining himself in the process of chaining his enemies, are oh-so-beautifully prophecied to destroy him - and Kurapika was aware of this from the moment he set off down this path of revenge.

(As a side note, this is why I'm really hoping we see Gon and Kurapika interact again after the Chimera Ant arc - while Gon has always been pretty attentive to Kurapika's emotional state, in Yorknew, he lacks a true understanding of why Kurapika would go so far... but as of now, he understands rage fueled by guilt and grief all too well. I know we're all rooting for Leorio to reach Kurapika, but barring that, I really think Gon could get through to him - after all, they are similar in several ways, and I find it fairly apparent that Gon reminds Kurapika of Pairo.)

But back to the main point here - I do suspect Kurapika expects (if not wants) his revenge mission to destroy him. I think a lot of times, we forget just how young Kurapika is, and how much his character is dictated by honour, and the abandonment of it.

Certainly, he can and will go against his principles for the sake of his mission... yet, almost paradoxically, he's bound to his promise to his fallen clan; a promise to avenge them made in anger.

But Kurapika... doesn't come across as a naturally angry person to me at all.

He seems like the stoic, vengeful type on his initial introduction... and then we get his panic at Gon's recklessness

[ID: A panel from HxH Chapter 2. Kurapika and Leorio wear matching expressions of panic in front of Gon, calling him out for his recklessness. End ID.]

...and his near-immediate forgiveness of Leorio after getting the first inkling of his character - of someone who cares just as fiercely as he does.

And after that point? Almost all through the Hunter Exam? Kurapika smiles so readily at them. He's sharp and funny. He mediates at times, but is stubbornly prideful in others. He's very amused by his friends' antics, and it really does seem like he starts to enjoy himself, with them. And, more than that, he counters Leorio's initial impression of him as an independent loner - on several occasions. He decides to follow Gon because Gon intrigues him. Asides from Gon, it is Kurapika who is the most unwilling to fight each other at the bottom of Trick Tower. Kurapika who makes the first move to team up with Leorio, even though that arrangement benefits Leorio much more than it does him. Kurapika who refuses to abandon Leorio to his fate in the cave, and who checks on Gon after noticing his bad mood. Who was furious enough watching him get beat down by Hanzo that his eyes went scarlet for the first and only instance outside of Spider mentions and Emperor Time. Who quite readily detoured to help rescue Killua.

[ID: Three screenshots from the 2011 adaptation Hunter Exam arc. In the first, Kurapika smiles at a sleeping Leorio. In the second, Kurapika stifles laughter as he pretends he's asleep. In the third, Kurapika has an open-mouthed smile as he acquires the airship tickets for them, Leorio and Gon standing behind him. End ID.]

Look at him! He's so bright! So happy!

...too happy. Too happy to do what he promised himself he would do. And that's his biggest fear, isn't it. Without his rage... what is he left with?

[ID: A panel from HxH chapter 2. A close up of Kurapika's eye as he says "I do not fear death. What I fear is that my rage will one day fade away." End ID.]

Kurapika is far, far less mired in anger when he's with his friends. I actually dare to say that at certain points, he was able to go for lengths of time without thinking much about it - alternating between almost forgetting in one instance and being hit like a sledgehammer on exposure to a reminder in the next. This violent swing is... actually the beginnings of the natural process of healing from loss and trauma. But to Kurapika, who's made a promise to his people's memories, this is not a relief. This is betrayal.

I think that actually scares him, that he can almost picture it. A life beyond his guilt. That he, too, could learn to be happy, even after unimaginable loss.

And so, as Kurapika continues his mission offscreen, finding more and more gruesome reminders of the cruelty inflicted on his people and losing more and more pieces of himself in the process (in his own words, no less), he prioritizes his responsibility to them, and pushes away his distractions. He cannot be a soul at peace until his work is done; he must be in turmoil. He pushes people away who he cares for, and binds himself, and keeps his people's eyes on him, quite literally, because respite, for him, is unacceptable. Perhaps that guilty part of him even hopes, by the end of this, that his soul will be so unrecognizable as to be fundamentally unsalvageable. But the truth of the matter is, or at least what comes across to me, is that Kurapika cares much more fiercely than he hates. He knows what matters most. And for as long as he does, he still hasn't truly lost himself.

[ID: A panel from HxH chapter 350. Kurapika looks down at baby Woble with a gentle, yet complicated expression. The inking is somewhat softer. End ID.]

Kurapika's soul is kind, really. And it wants to heal - but for the sake of his mission, he needs it damaged and bleeding. And so, he forces himself to exist in that pain. All alone.

[ID: A panel from HxH Chapter 344. Kurapika, dressed in a black suit, sits with his back to the reader, looking down at a photo in his hand. He is slumped a little before the church vigil he has prepared, all his clan's eyes lined up in their jars and honoured with flowers and candles. He thinks to himself "There is no home for me to return to... and nobody to welcome me back. I have nothing left." End ID.]

[prettieinpink]

LOWERING YOUR CORTISOL LEVELS: THE MAIN STRESS HORMONE

Hi lovelies! If you didn’t know, cortisol is the main stress hormone of your body. Cortisol is a good thing for our bodies, it manages how our body uses carbs, fats or proteins, keeps inflammation down, regulates your blood pressure, increases glucose, controls your sleep cycle and boosts energy for when you have high levels of stress.

However, your body can produce too much unnecessary cortisol which is when it can start taking a toll on us, leading to

Anxiety or depression

Headaches

Heart diseases

Memory problems

Trouble staying focused

Digestive complications

Sleeping complications

Weight gain/loss

and more!

below the read more, there’s ways to lower and regulate our cortisol levels <3

getting adequate sleep

Prioritising and optimising our sleep is already beneficial for us, but it can help with lowering our cortisol levels. To make the most of your sleep, have an winding down routine, sleep and wake at similar times everyday, limit your caffeine intake(including soft drinks!) and reduce your screen time before you go to bed.

Moderate intensity exercise

Too intense exercise or no exercise, can increase the levels of cortisol but intense exercise usually has a temporary effect. It helps with managing our stress better and promotes better sleep which also helps with lowering your cortisol levels.

Practise deep breathing and meditation

This time to clear our minds, helps stimulates our resting & digest system in us. (Parasympathetic nervous system). You can do this wherever, whenever.

Eating a nutritious diet

Only you know what’s the best diet that suits your lifestyle, so I won’t say much about this, but make sure that you’re getting quality nutrition in your body.

Take your supplements

Make sure you talk to your doctor before taking any supplements! Before you consider taking any supplements, do some individual research first.

[simplyarabesque]

 𝒀𝒂𝒔𝒎𝒚𝒏𝒆’s guide— skincare tips.  

Drink water, and lots of it.

Sunscreen, daily— this is to prevent sun damage and potential hyperpigmentation.

Sleep— at least eight hours is crucial. It’s called “beauty sleep” for a reason.

Frequently change your pillowcases— wash and change them every few days, and silk cases are very beneficial for skin and hair health.

Healthy habits— need I say more? What goes into your body reflects on the outside, so stick to natural foods, maybe try 80/20ing your diet.

Daily movement— this can be any form of physical exercise (walking, cardio, pilates, yoga, etc).

Revise your current skincare routine— how are the products you’re using affecting your skin positively or negatively, and have you been using them correctly?

Seek out professional opinions— make an appointment with a dermatologist, and make any necessary changes to your current routine to improve your overall skin health.

…and finally, be patient with yourself. Healthy skin isn’t an overnight thing. Be patient and consistent, don’t stress, and you’ll see results.

[positivepostoffice]

[skunkes]

[ros3ybabe]

60 Day Challenge: Day 4

I gotta get better about studying Japanese ahhhhhh

with my school work getting heavier the next final weeks of the semester, I just gotta time manage a little better. But I'm still proud of everything I accomplished! random, but p.s. I'm getting a cat soon, and I feel like it'll make my life so much better, and I can't wait

Habit 1: Physical Fitness 💪

- What I Did: 10 minutes of Restorative yoga on Down dog app

Habit 2: Study Japanese 🌸

- What I Did: N/A

Habit 3: Reading 📚

- What I Did: Read Chapter 1 of "What Alice Forgot" by Liane Moriarty

Habit 4: Meditation 🌊

- What I Did: 5 minute mediation on Down Dog app, theme was Easing anxiety

Habit 5: Self Care 💕

- What I Did: morning journal, made bed, talked with one of my roommates for ~2 hours after work

I'm still so proud of what I'm accomplishing with this challenge, it's making me feel very proud and very accomplished.

🎧 Song of The Day: Igloo by Kiss of Life

💞 Affirmation of The Day: I am the writer of my own story

📚 Current Read: "What Alice Forgot" by Liane Moriarty

🏆 Rating of the Day: 7/10, pretty solid day

🎀 Recommendation of The Day: Adelala and Sandy Diana Bang are two of my favorite youtubers right now (and Mikayla Mags and LenaLifts) like they're seriously my comfort youtubers <3 can't recommend them enough

til next time lovelies 🩷

[fella-lovin-fella]

the thing about mental disorders is after you're diagnosed with more than 2 people stop taking you seriously

[theereina]

[uhbasicallyjustmilex]

me stubbornly forcing myself to drink green tea and rest from my THIRD COLD THIS MONTH

[corpsentry]

breaking the law and outing myself on the internet because i'm showcasing my senior dance thesis on april 28 at 6:30 and 8:30 pm Eastern Standard Time and i want You to see it

we don't have a livestream link yet but we will. in the meantime look at these cool posters and this cool blurb. ok now save the date SEE YOU SOON

[silverskye13]

Rare beast at rest

[cent-scratchnsniff]

it was just going to be a few warmup doodles but then she infected the rest of the page like the ever eternal and spreading spores. hod!!! hod. hod :)