#arrow quotes

[daemonmage]

Bruce about to reveal his identity to the JL

Bruce: “I’m going to do something that may traumatize two of you. I am not sorry.”

Oliver: “oh come on Batman your identity isn’t that special.”

Bruce going full whiny play boy: “Dinah! Ollie is being mean to me!!!”

Oliver: blue screens

Dinah: “YOU BITCH!?”

[theendlessnessofbeingme]

At a justice league meeting discussing a major threat and if they should tell the public

Bruce: We don’t want to be causing an international crisis. I suggest we keep this information to only a select few individuals outside this room

At the Batcave

Bruce: News flash, we’re screwed

Jason: I knew it! I told you all that those lights weren’t just a league training gone wrong!

[frownyalfred]

Roy: having the Bats as friends is so weird. I was crying and they just told me to “lock in”

Oliver:

Roy: and then I did

[incorrectbatfam]

Jason: *reading Lolita and tearing out each page as he goes so everyone on the bus knows he's critical of his interests*

Roy: *sitting next to Jason and eating each page like a goat in a petting zoo*

[roguethealright]

Psych quotes my favorite! I love all these characters

But let’s be totally honest, Jason would know all his friends bank accounts and net worths just for fun.

[batfamgalore]

*Dick, Jason, Tim, and Roy are trying to get information out of a criminal but none of them are in their uniforms*

Jason: Okay, man, now what we’re gonna play is a little game called “damn good chance you’re getting shot”.

*Jason pulls out a revolver and spins it*

Roy: Tuck the shooter, Jason.

Jason: Tuck it? This is how I do it, man.

Roy: I know this is how you do it, but this is not the time to do it how you do it.

Jason: I ain’t tucking her (the gun) once she’s out.

Roy: Tuck it, Jason!

*Dick and Tim watching from afar*

Tim: Should we step in?

Dick: Just a little tiff, Tim. Besides there’s no bullets in that gun.

Tim: How sure are you?

Dick: One in six chance.

Tim: Those are the exact odds.

[yourmomxx]

Jason (to his family): What took you guys so long? I thought you were gonna be here an hour ago!

Bruce: Well, we were making good time in traffic until I got cut off by some crazed motorcycle hoodlum in black leather.

(Roy enters)

Roy: Sorry I'm late. I got stuck behind some walnut driving six miles an hour.

Bruce (points at Roy): That's the hoodlum!

Roy (points at Bruce) : That's the walnut!

[foolilazuli]

Roy: Be sure to eat everything on your plate, Lian. Breakfast is the most important meal of the day

Jason: The pancakes are overcooked

Roy, covering Lian’s ears: Hey Jay, how bout you shut your whore mouth?

[hello-waffles-are-good]

Dick: you guys can't kiss, that's incest!

Roy: no it isn't!

Dick: yes it is, Littlewing

Roy: [gesturing between him and Jason] *we're* not related

Dick: oh and that makes it okay, I suppose?

Roy: well, it makes it not incest!

[dc-comics-enjoyer]

Okay I think there's no way Bruce manages his own social media. He's Bruce Wayne™ so I think he most probably has a whole team of community managers. Now, the thing is Bruce lets them do their work freely. So, he finds himself in situations where he's genuinely clueless for once in his life.

---

Damian, reading his father's tweet out loud : "Happy birthday to my son, my sunshine, the best of them all : Tim Drake.", What. Do. You. Mean. "best of them all", Father ?!

Bruce : huh ?

---

Clark : You know, the fact that you identify as a... *reads his screen* Uhm, dilf - whatever that means - doesn't change anything for me.

Bruce : huh ?

Clark shows him the tweet that goes "Be kind, fam, I'm coming out : I'm officially a DILF"

(editor's note : i know Clark probably knows what a dilf is but I think it's hilarious to portray those two as clueless old men.)

---

Journalist : Mister Wayne ! After the recent fire at the Anti-abortion rally, you've tweeted, and I quote : "Lit 🔥". What does it mean ?

Bruce, a gen X : Well... I think I just wanted to describe the... Uh, fire. It did lit up the place, didn't it ?

---

Jason, on his phone : What ?!

Bruce : What is it ?

Jason : You're DMing fucking Kim Kardashian ??

Bruce : huh ?

Jason : She tweeted "just signed the divorce papers and Bruce Wayne already slid in my DMs. I don't make the rules 🤷‍♀️"

---

At a talk show.

Host : So, Bruce, you've recently created controversy by posting this.

Appears a tweet on the screen that reads : "Eat the rich ? More like eat out the rich, plz 😔👉👈"

Host : What do you think ?

Bruce, clears his throat : You see... What even is the internet ? Hah.

---

Oliver, on the phone : Bruce ! Why the hell did you come at me like that ?

Bruce : huh ?

Oliver, lounging on his bed : "Just saw Ollie try to flirt at this party I'm in rn. Big yikes." Tweeted 10 minutes ago. What party, you asshole ?!

Bruce : ...

---

Clark : What does... yiyik (?) mean ?

Bruce : huh ?

Clark : You tweeted "Superman's clavicles. Iykyk"

Bruce : *shrugs* I have no idea.

---

Tim : Uh, hey, Bruce...

Bruce : Yes ?

Tim : Say, why would you agree to a boxing match against Logan Paul ?

Bruce : huh, who ?

---

Steph : Why would you want to have beef with Rihanna ?

Bruce: huh ?

Steph, shows him his tweet that reads "Tested Fenty's new line... Let me tell you, I'd rather put garbage on my face. And I fuckin' love my face."

[if-you-like-pina-colada-s]

Bruce, walking into the manor: Hello people who do not live here.

Clark: Hi :D

Diana: Hey!

Oliver: 'sup man

Dinah: yo

Hal: Hiii

Barry: Heyo

Arthur: wassup

Billy: Hey

Bruce: Why are you here??

Barry, mouth full of doritos: We ran out of doritos

----

Bonus:

Bruce: Alfred, why the hell did you let them in??

Alfred, casually having tea w J'onn, whose just happy his son has friends: They ran out of doritos master Bruce, what was I to do? Let them starve??

Bruce: >:(

[theaceofarrows]

Roy: [pointing at Jason's guns] Doesn't that kind of go against Batman's rule?

Jason: The rule is "no killing." Rule gets a bit fuzzy when it comes to kneecaps, though

[funkylittlebidiot]

Peter, running into Tony's office at Stark Tower: Hey, I need the keys to your helicopter Tony, blinking: how would you even fly it? Peter: I've got that covered! Please? I promise - PROMISE - I won't crash it! Tony: well, I'd feel more confident in your aeronautic capabilities if you knew helicopters... don't have keys... Peter: helicopters don't have keys? huh. Anyway, thank you! *runs off*

[incorrectbatfam]

Oliver: Splitting up is a bad idea. It is much safer if we stay together.

Bruce and Oliver: *notice Jason and Roy are very close*

Bruce: Except for you two. You need to be separate.

[ryemiffie]

More quotes from my day as batfam incorrect quotes:

Roy, after Jason came back recently: Oh my god! Stop edging the grim reaper and just stay dead already!

Jason: why would you phrase it like that?!

Roy: Why not?!

[aprill-99]

Character A: “The real tragedy was the friends we made along the way.”

Character B: “Don’t you mean ‘treasure’?”

Character A: “No. Having to care about other people has been a real bummer for me and my personal goals.”