#and bruce is just like
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DP x DC Prompt #50
When Danny came to Gotham, he hadn't been planning on being a vigilante, he swears! And, technically, he wasn't a vigilante. He was a villain. Sort of. He was Catwoman's sidekick. Her partner in crime, quite literally.
But hey, it hadn't taken a lot of convincing from Catwoman to start stealing things from a bunch of rich dudes. Danny hates rich fruit loops.
#finemeal prompt#dp x dc#danny fenton#selina kyle#danny fenton is selina's “robin”#catwoman#i just think it'd be fun#i think i've seen a fic with a similar premise out there?#where dick is flirting with danny#and danny is selina's sidekick#and bruce is just like#damn we all fall for villains huh?#i don't remember it very clearly#but it was a good fic#this is probably subconsciously inspired by that#if y'all ask me about it i'll track it down and put it in the replies#also!!!#wild that i've made 50 dp x dc prompts#and i got more coming#and all of y'all are here#ain't that neat?
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characters have to be a little bit awful in ways that you cant defend. its good for the ecosystem. your honor he did do that. He did in fact do that
#tim drake#bruce wayne#can i just tag the entire batfam.... this applies to all of them i think#all of them deal with their issues by putting on spandex and beating up criminals. none of them are exempt from this post#let them make bad stupid inconsiderate decisions... its funny entertaining and free#batfamily#batfam#jason todd#dick grayson#batman#dc batman#dc comics#additionally:#arthur lester#john doe#malevolent john doe#martin blackwood#jonathan sims#tim stoker#sasha james#elias bouchard#peter lukas#tma#every tma character ever actually. they all suck soso bad ❤️️❤️️#melanie king#daisy tonner#basira hussain#georgie barker#can i tag bruce again. because like
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Lex Luthor hates Superman, Lex Luthor hates the Justice League, bla bla bla… You know who Lex must really hate? Bruce Wayne.
Because he knows that bitch is Batman. He’d worked it through that big brain of his and he’s without a doubt certain that the same idiot who spilled champagne on him last New Year’s Eve moonlights as the Batman.
But he can’t fucking prove it. So he’s resigned to a lifetime of having to make stilted conversation filled with double meaning while Brucie just flutters his eyelashes and pretends to be a ditz. And Lex just has to sit there and take it, because Bruce knows that Lex knows and absolutely uses that knowledge to fuck with Alex at every opportunity—he says the absolute shittest, godawful pickup lines and flirts to his heart’s content, knowing full well that he helped Superman kick Lex’s ass last week and that Lex knows it was him.
#Lex: ah Bruce it seems you’re recovering from last week’s… injury#Brucie: oh Lexi you know I like to be roughed up 😜#Lex: I fucking hate you#dc#dc comics#batman#bruce wayne#batfamily#bruce wayne headcanon#Bruce Wayne and Lex Luthor#justice league crack#Lex: Just admit you’re Bruce Wayne!#Batman: Lexi I would never 😚#Lex: literally die
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Bruce Wayne except he texts like an ominous boomer
wdym you can't tell if he's threatening them?
Based on this post by @mysterycitrus :)
<- Prev Masterlist Next ->
Bonus:
Happy birthday, Tim 🥰
#duke thought for a minute he was gonna become the protagonist of get out#u can interpret this as bruce suddenly deciding to text like this#or his children just never getting used to it even after 10+ years of knowing him#bruce: i dont understand why my children are so paranoid#clark: last night you texted me ''see you soon...'' and i wasnt sure if you were threatening me or not#social media au#batfam#batfamily#dc comics#bruce wayne#dick grayson#cassandra cain#jason todd#stephanie brown#tim drake#duke thomas#damian wayne#incorrect quotes#tweets#texts#twitter#batdad#batkids#batman#fanatical posting#crack
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Bruce, High on pain killers: I hate to tell you this, but one of you is adopted
The Batfam: …
Dick: .. only one?
#Bruce: I meant biological only one is biological#dc comics#dc#dc universe#dcu#Jason would milk this#so would Steph#‘you didn’t fucking adopt me and I’m not your wtf am o’#dick was adopted but didn’t change his name I will fight you#I like all headcannons about that but not the angsty ones#look my family is bad enough I just want the fictional family I like to be happy always#incorrect batfamily quotes#incorrect quotes#incorrect quote gen#dick grayson#jason todd#tim drake#damian wayne#Bruce Wayne#Batfam#Batfam ily#Batfamily#Batman
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parents & pedigree [x] [x]
#bruce wayne#talia al ghul#damian wayne#batman and robin#batman#dc comics#reposting here on main from my side acc bc before they were just mindless practise during my recovery#but people seem to like it and it's grown on me so here they are together now
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Kon: Why are you staring at me so intently?
Tim, completely casually: I think I want to stab you with Kryptonite a few times. In different areas. For science.
Kon: ...why is my best friend considering torturing me?
Tim: I'm wondering if it takes you down so badly because it is truly that dangerous to you or if the invulnerablility of Kryptonians gives you a weak pain tolerance.
Kon: And you're asking me, a half human, instead of Clark or Kara?
Tim: They'd start telling Bruce about my "concerning villainous behavior" again.
Kon: And I won't?
Tim: I've kept fighting through pneumonia, a gunshot wound, and broken bones. And you go down when I poke you with a rock. Come on, you've got to be curious.
Kon: ...okay, I am a little curious.
Tim: YES! You won't regret this!
Kon: I will absolutely regret this.
#Bruce is absolutely just as curious as Tim is over this topic#Clark would just never allow that#From the Gotham Knights game#Dick: “Please don't try and make a Talon in the Belfry Tim”#Tim: “I wouldn't do that... I mean maybe only on a small scale. Like a bit of a Talon. For research.”#Dick: “TIMOTHY JACKSON DRAKE! DO NOT!”#This isn't slashy but I feel the need to mention that I am a huge supporter of Timkon#tim drake#conner kent#timothy drake#batman#robin#kon el#superboy#superman#tim drake wayne#dcu#dc comics#young justice#timkon#teen titans
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Dick (Nightwing) and Jason (Robin) stare at Bruce. One sports pleading eyes, the other a shit eating grin. There’s a child between them with black hair and blue eyes.
Bruce, he doesn’t know what’s happening but he doesn’t like it: No.
Dick, grinning: He’s our younger brother now.
Jason, nodding seriously: You’re not gonna take him from us.
Tim, got kidnapped while taking photos of patrol, just happy to be there: Where’s the Batcave?
Bruce: what.
Dick, grinning wider: He’s ours now.
#batman#dc comics#kid!tim#I love those fics#they need to make Nightwing a little more unhinged tho#like I would expect both Jason and Dick to hate each other until they find a common enemy (Bruce)#and annoy the shit out of him#or until they find stalker Timothy Drake following them are met with a bought of brotherly concern so strong they don’t even blink an ey#they don’t even care when tim accidentally calls them by their civilian name#they just look at each other and kidnap him#Tim’s just along for the ride#he gets to swing with them through Gotham (so cool!!) and ride nightwings motorbike!!! and see the batcave!!!#little eight year old Tim’s dream come true#tim Drake#Jason Todd#dick Grayson#Robin#Nightwing#bruce wayne#batfamily#batfam#mine
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When the League meets Baby Robin(Dick), they are genuinely surprised, as it seems impossible that Batman is raising this little ray of sunshine who appeared from between his cape and then proceeded to greet them with the brightest smile they've all ever seen, completely adoring Superman, saying how great Wonder Woman is, and actually laughing at Barry's jokes.
Bruce takes care of his work, but occasionally stops to, in fact, help Robin who is trying to do his English homework. The other members also help out, of course.
So, Hal arrives at the Watchtower, and Robin, seeing the man his dad mentor has been so grumpy about because of the last meeting they had (Hal doesn't understand that Batman is the best at his job and is the one giving directions for a reason, duh!), decides he will exact revenge.
He carries on a normal conversation with the man just as he did with everyone else, subtly leading the topic until Hal falls into the trap:
Hal: What about your mom? I can't imagine anyone putting up with the old bat.
He speaks with all mockery, but then his smile freezes when he sees the tremor in the little boy's shoulders.
Dick: *shuddering and holding back a little sob* my mummy died in front of me a few months ago.... I...
Hal is pale now, because the child actually sobs, and runs off to hide in the cape of Batman, who was now standing, ready to stitch up his child.
He's not the only one, Superman and the others are already there too, looking at him angrily because he made the little bean cry.
Hal is in a panic.
And if he sees how the boy smiles at him when no one is looking, sticking his tongue out at him while moving his lips to send him the message "Don't bother my dad", no one would ever believe him, not while the little boy is now clinging to Batman tightly as he slowly blinks away tears that not even the best actors could ever pull off.
Only Hal knows the devil behind that angel face.
Batman knows it too, but he adores his precious little demon.
#dick grayson#robin#dc robin#dc comics#batman#bruce wayne#batfam#batfamily#justice league#batfam headcanons#dick is a ray of sunshine#he's also a little devil#plot twist#Robin likes Hal#he is just mad at him because Batman is grumpier than usual because of him
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-after Damian turned 16, at the family dinner-
Bruce: so... Damian, do you remember the Oreov girl you met at the gala last week?
Damian: *looks up* yes
Bruce: what do you think of her...?
Dick: *tries not to laugh*
Tim: *fails not to laugh*
Steph: *doesn't even try not to laugh*
Damian: she was... acceptable, if a bit annoying, why do you ask?
Tim: He's trying to set you up!
Batkids -Damian: *laughs*
Damian: *stares blankly*
Bruce: of course, you don't hav-
Damian: father, are you unaware that I'm in a committed relationship?
Duke, Tim and Dick: *choke on their food*
Steph: *chokes on her drink*
Cass: *smiles*
Batkids: WHAT?!
Bruce: ... I-....
Jason: *laughs so hard he almost falls from his chair* oh Jesus Christ! The world's best detectives at their finest!
Dick: you knew? And you didn't tell me?!
Jason: where the fuck do you think he went almost every fucking friday?
Bruce: *turns to Damian* I- I though you were having sleepover with Jon
Damian: I was.
Dick: but you just-
Batfam: *stops all their movememnt as they realize*
Jason: *actually falls from his chair laughing*
Bruce: JONATHAN SAMUEL KENT!
-over at the Kent farm, also having family dinner-
Jon, who heard Bruce shout his name: I feel like I'm going to get murdered by a bat in my sleep
Clark, who was also listening in: right after you explain why I had to find out you're dating Damian throught their family dinner
Jon: hehe... fuck
#btw they never really kept it secret#they just forgot to tell them#except Jason#Damina did tell Jason#well#Jason is the one who finally got Damian to ask Jon out#so of course he knew#and Damian kinda assumed everyone else knew as well#it's not like they were subtle#damijon#jondami#supersons#jon kent#damian wayne#jonathan samuel kent#batfam incorrect quotes#batfamily#batfam#dc comics#dc incorrect quotes#batfamily incorrect quotes#bruce wayne#jason todd#dick grayson#incorrect quotes
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I actually need some fanfic, where Bruce and Jason are in the middle of some argument, and a casual (and a well-practiced with Dick before) sentence leaves his mouth, something along the lines "How old do you think you are?!", meaning that he is acting childishly. And because Jason is irritated, and his tongue runs loose in his anger, he screams back that he is nineteen, and Bruce just freezes, because... Oh. Jason is nineteen. He is a fucking kid - his kid - that lost years of his teenhood, and was forced back without anyone giving him a space to catch up, with everyone else already treating him like an adult... When he isn't.
#you all don't understand how devastating it is to die like a kid and be back to everyone moving on and expecting you to run with them#when you are just learning to pace#no one give him time to come to his senses#and no one spoke with him about it#just how much derealisation it could bring#do you think jason sometimes still feels like he is a kid despite being so tall and strong#like he realises that he doesn't look like kid but in his mind everyone sees him like one#even though they never treat him like one#DO YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT I MEAN#— lie's rambling#jason todd#red hood#dcu comics#dc universe#dcu#batman#bruce wayne
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In a happy world where Jason is legally resurrected and gets to go to college like he's always dreamed of
#this was going to be a quick little thing and ended up consuming the better part of a day#why am I like this#while we discuss batfam doing sports just for the fun of absolutely crushing the competition#I raise you quarter back Jason#He's got killer aim I'm told#jason todd#jason todd fanart#batfamily#batfamily fanart#gotham knights#gotham university#gotham sports#gotham knights football#bruce wayne#barbara gordon#dick grayson#cassandra cain#stephanie brown#tim drake#duke thomas#damian wayne#gothamites are scary#singswan-springswan art
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ref
a satisfactory answer for Selina
#bruce wayne#batman#selina kyle#catwoman#batcat#bruce#selina#mine#my art#i wanted to make the bat ears fold back SO badly but it looked too odd . unfortunately#wanted to put the collar ON HIM too but also it looked too out of place. SAD .#oh my GOD i forgot i could add IDs to these pictures now !!!#just finished adding that#i will see if i can do that for the other images i posted on this blog#anyway#thats her pookie bear.... her discord kitten...#who said that#this is what batcat is . to me . not that deep#just playful. selina gets to cause a little mischief whenever she wants and bruce gets be ouppy when he wants#thats just what the file names are LOL ouppy 1 2 and 3#in another post i may feel inclined to expand on it instead of in these tags#just know that there are very few people he would let restrain him and she is one of them. they just vibe like that.#younger bruce DOES follow her like a little duckling for these kinds of things. older bruce is too miserable to do fwb w anyone anymore#so they just enjoy each others company and reminiscence#mm. alot of tags for a shitpost.
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The daily planet runs a front page article calling superman the light of mankind
Cue the batfam launching a counter campaign in support of Signal, the real Light of Mankind.
It starts as a joke but quickly derails into an all out war.
#bruce offended parent and signals biggest fan wayne#hes so petty about it during JL meetings. he shuts down all the lights on the watchtower#Batman we cant see#well thats not a problem cause the light of mankind should be able to light up the room while stating directly at superman who just#looks so resigned#Tim floods the internet with pictures of Duke using his powers and fighting villians all with the hashtag theRealLightOfMankind#Duke is having the time of his light#he poses for Tim and makes rainbows on days it rains and poses like sailor moon#its a fun joke for Duke#its a matter of life or death for the rest of them#Dick has to stop Damian from breaking out the kryptonite not knowing that Jason has already stolen it and is heading for metropolis#batfamily#batfam#bruce wayne#batman#signal#duke thomas#tim drake#red robin#dick grayson#nightwing#superman
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I have this idea/theory that like when Bruce was just starting out, early twenties, “im going to make a difference!” batman, he was like known, somewhat, by at least most of the crinimals, oh some dude dressed as a bat beat up larry the other day? Hm. skill issue. Type of thing..
And then one night, theres a goon on patrol for some little operation. A more… violent goon lets say. And Bruce lands in front of him, cape billowing, white eyes narrowed, and the goon is like “shiii he does look pretty cool. Fuck ‘im tho.” and he does what any other goon would do, he pulls out his gun and fires. Once. Twice. Three times.
He sees the bullets make contact. Watches as they hit the suit. Go through it. Because this is still prototype four or five, its not fully kevlar, atp its still basically just cloth with some armor in certain places.
The goon can see blood circles forming where the bullets hit. Blood drips to the floor. But Bruce? Bruce keeps on walking towards him, not a limp or waver in his step. Because its Gotham. Because if he wasn't willing and prepared to get shot at he should've picked a different city.
And thats when The Bat becomes infamous. Because what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck he just keeps coming- i shot him three times-!
And years later, when Dick is on clean up duty as punishment for some elaborate stunt he pulled, organizing old files and plugging them into the batcomputer, he finds the file. And holy shit. Thats- actually kinda cool…
#batman#batfam#bruce wayne#let him be a badass sometimes please#also i just love the idea#of him walking towards someone#gets shot#and just keeps going#hes just like that
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wahoo finished this in time for superbat week day 5: tired dads!!
#superbat#superman#batman#batfam#superfam#bruce wayne#clark kent#dcu#dc comics#kara zor el#conner kent#jon kent#damian wayne#dick grayson#jason todd#tim drake#barbara gordon#cassandra cain#stephanie brown#duke thomas#my art#mine#oh my god i am tired just like they are these two have too many children!!!!!!!!!!!!!#yes i am stretching the definition of children but consider this:#i wanted to draw kara and barbara and steph and whoever else is technically-not-actually-their-child
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