#alter vent

[spidereye-village]

Fuckin sucks being a pro endo Traumagenic.

Cuz yeah, we fucking respect others but because of that we don't get respected.

It's not like I'm not used to being hated, but it's still so stupid that we have to block a ton of stuff just to scroll peacefully 🙄😒

-Goth (He/him)

Bethy: If anyone wantz a intro we can get ztarted on makingz it! 😋👍

Edit: Goth finally learned how to block tagz, Lolz!

[poognthebrainbois]

FUCK hormones we didn't fucking ask for. None of us (speaking as like the only fucking she/her in the system) like having this much fucking estrogen in our body. I HATE FUCKING CRYING. No one is ever gonna take us seriously if we can't handle having "Big Feelings" without bursting into fucking tears. Our entire life has taught us that. I'm the only "girl" we have and I am not handling this shit any better than the rest of them.

What the FUCK are we crying about NOW?!

CUT IT THE FUCK OUT

Why do I have to feel SO MUCH over NOTHING?!

Why do we have to spend so much of our fucking time censoring our feelings and words to make sure we don't sound "evil" or even a little bit mad just in case it comes off wrong? Why do I have to be so afraid of "subjecting other people" to being around me?

Why do I have to be like this?

[iwillbreakyourfuckingskull]

i hate having to pretend to be happy because my intense emotional pain is a result of something 99.9% of people would find pathetic and laughable. yeah i felt like i was stabbed in my heart and i cried myself to sleep for a week because i am in love with a fictional character and also i am another fictional character from the same manga. no i can't just "grow up" or "touch grass" and become a normal person who goes on dates with real life people. i am mentally ill and it shouldn't be an insult or shameful to be

[bloody-sickness]

FUCK

FUCK FUCK FUCK I DONT WANNA BE SAD WHY AM I FEELING SAD ???? GRRRRR UHHHH—

*Me and Tommy (mainly Tommy) dumping our toxic friend, then said friend telling their friend and it ending with that asshole “having” to out us as a system*

Oh…. FUCKKKK

(Gonna kms 😋 I swear to XD life is getting worse and worse. I feel like everyone fucking hates me and that I don’t deserve to live, but I know that my lovely partner would probably kill himself too if I did and I don’t want him to do that… I fucking hate my life hehe, probably gonna talk to my internal abuser because why not??? He came outta dormancy a while ago and I lowkey miss him (fuck, why am I like this???) and shittt…. fuckkkkk…. I’m actually fucking stupid and worthless and stupid and stupid and dumb and undeserving of my respect and happiness and life <3)

[legendsoffandoms]

I’m just going to vent for a bit. I suppose it’s called venting. I’m not sure.

I’ve been fronting since sometime Friday. I’m not sure why. There are plenty of other alters that could have done it. I am not sure why I have been chosen. I am not upset. I am not really anything. I do not emotions. They are not my thing. Which I suppose allows me to be a good fronter for this situation.

The situation is the upcoming election in the US. We are a deeply in danger of losing rights and being attacked. We are not safe. Which has obviously brought a lot of stress to our system.

The main fronters: KB, Rosemary, Ody, Cyan, and Gen Z are all anxious. I am not. As I said emotions not my thing, so I guess I’m a good choice to front for now.

I should feel scared and anxious. I should feel bad. I should feel something. I don’t. I really don’t. I know the situation is bad and life threatening, but I just don’t. I’m not scared. I’m not tired. I’m not anything really.

I just exist. I just do. I suppose I do serve as a good helper for us to not end up killing ourselves. As that’s an option if we can’t leave.

I packed a bag full of clothes. I have plans for in case we leave. I am trying my hardest to take care of this body. I don’t know why. I don’t really care. I really don’t. I am simply doing it anyway. I am just existing.

I have gotten two people to co-front with me. I don’t really want to be fully alone. Which are Ikari and Star/Jet. Ikari fronted last night/this morning, and Jet is currently fronting. He says hi.

I don’t want people to feel bad for me. I don’t care. I’m not upset. I’m not anything. Again. I don’t really have any emotions. I just don’t.

I simply want people to know I exist. I want people to know that there is an alter out there who simply is just existing. I just want. I don’t know what. I just am.

I also really don’t like any of the people we live with. They are all. Weird. Yes. Weird… I don’t get along with them. I don’t plan to. Our body’s brother came home today. I do not like him. Not at all.

There’s just a lot going on and I suppose I want someone to hear it.

I suppose being a fictive doesn’t help either.

My name is Nemesis Prime. I am not joking. I am a Nemesis Prime fictive. I quite like who I am. I just know it might be weird.

I’m aware I am not on the “good side” in my source. I am aware I’m not a “good person” in my source as well. I do not care what you consider me to be in source. I am fine being me. My partner is fine with who I am. I am fine with who they are.

I just hope that we get to keep our rights and don’t have to evacuate. I do not know how that works.

I just want this to be over so I can go back to our inner world and be with my partner. Who has told me I may disclose who they are.

My partner, my wonderful partner is Star/Jet or in our source StarScream. Jet is wonderful to us, and we quite like them.

I suppose that is all for now.

I’m not so good at this socializing thing. I am a rather quiet bot, so figure me if this does not make sense. I tried. I am just not used to socializing.

- Nemesis | He/They/It

[rrsystem]

NSFW mention under the cut I guess

This is not a NSFW blog nor am I going to treat it like so but god damn I hate...being a hypersexual alter. I feel like I can't chill and I just wanna chill.

:( ya know

-dewdrop

[glitchsystem359]

💿- Always an angel, never a god. This was always my curse. To be preyed upon by the predators of wing and tooth. Scurrying into the underbrush and over fallen trunks, snarling and growling at each paw, hand, or wing that has beckoned me. My lives have all been faded stories of survival and death. A never ending circle of pathetic scavenging life, clawing ever upward in the desperate hopes of something better, something more. But my Olympus was never with the gods and their greedy desires, it was with the ferns and the moss of the wood. Always an angel, never a god. -💿

[kennyeltieso]

Sorry my ass.

Actually, fuck you all.

[diver-boy]

I wish I could just be myself. My true self. My whole existence I've been pretending to be someone else, for the sake of others. So much so I don't think there's a "me" anymore.

[mercurial-minded]

Trying to convince ourselves we haven’t ruined a creative experience and made it 10x more complicated, and that things will work out okay and still be fun for everyone 🫠

Think we’ll just… not… talk about hcs in private 1-in-1s and just do it in the group setting until more time as passed

It’s causing a bunch of stress

Really really wondering if maybe we should bow out of it and say we’re uncomfortable with the direction it’s gone and it feels out of character, and let others just do the idea without us. But then like, what if that causes problems :’)

- 👽

[spidereye-village]

Wolf's head hurts. And wolf is so dizzy and limbs are heavy and so uncomfy. Wolf doesn't like this at all. Wants to cry over the hurting. :(

[poognthebrainbois]

👑Vent post below break. "Proceed with caution" or "Viewer discretion" or whatever.

I fucking hate "self-discovery" in a system context. I hate being a fucking "alter." I hate having to *"learn about myself."* Why do I have to be the one that feels like a Teenage Girl until I'm drinking or fucking? Was I ever really an "adult part," or have I always felt this young and just not wanted to admit to it? Zinnia's back, she already said half of my feelings right now have been her's so why is this one different? We weren't like this as a teenager so who the fuck am I living for? Who the fuck am I supposed to "represent"?? Why do I have to deal with this shit? If Parker wasn't done being a teenage girl, why is he giving it up now?? Why do I have to be the FUCKING BOX YOU THROW ALL THE SHIT YOU DON'T WANT ANYMORE INTO?! You "outgrew" these feelings? Then why the FUCK AM I STILL FEELING THEM?! FUCK YOU

[rundowncomputersystemm]

I suppose some thing will never be mine. Some things will never be ours. And I won't say "and that's ok" Because it isn't. Not everyone gets what they deserve. Not everyone gets a happy ending. And that isn't ok. But that is a truth I learnt. Whether I like it or not. Whether I run from it or not. Even if I do sprint mile after mile, it will always grab the back of my neck, suffocate me, and scrape my face against the concreate again. And again. The face is now not a face. It is a battlefield of scabs and blood. But then again, even that cannot equal to the internal state. Such is life. We don't all get what we deserve. We don't all die with sorrow and reminisce of our lifetime. Some of us smile, some of us cry tears of joy. And some of us cry, even now, waiting for that day. Maybe I deserve death; because that is my only happiness.

[circus-of-venting]

I hate being connected to source so much

Not because blah blah beig connected to source isnt healthy

No i dont care, we can get there one day but rn most of us literally cant seperate from source and to us thats ok. Were just focused on being ok right now

I hate it because it makes romance so difficult.

This is a thing for almost all of us too! I just. I cant feel anything for anyone but my source boyfriend and it sucks! I want to be able to normally like someone

I want a relationship normally but i cant feel jack for anyone! And if i do its always overshadowed by missing him and loving him and wanting him again

It leads to a lot of us VERY easily falling for people of the same source too which sucks because i dont want to make you feel uncomfortable and we ARENT our source but youre so much like him and i want to cry

And if we wait and get to know them and date them because we equally share simular feelings of "ily in source and ily here too <3" im so scared people will get angry or what if it isnt real?

For us its real, we get the spark from source yea but then its for them not just source! Then its because theyre amazing and make us smile but what of its not for them? What if they just want source again and i cant give them that?

I dont know, none of this is healthy probably but i need to scream it somewhere

- Sprout 🍓🧁 (He/they/xe)

[the-skaia-collecve]

I can not live laugh love in these conditions

[glitchsystem359]

🍁- “I am my mothers savage daughter, the one who runs barefoot cursing sharp stones”

I was woven from the threads of wed-locked love, and sacred heavenly sacrifices.

I was woven from the fabric of the lies of freedom and salvation, holy brotherhood, and the love of Christ.

I was woven by blood oaths and practiced prayers, perfect harmony and hatred of imbalance.

“I am my mother’s savage daughter, I will not cut my hair, I will not lower my voice.”

Bred by selfish power and heartless gain, I fled the hands of the pure and the holy. I fled into the sharp embrace of the earth.

I clung to her mossy skin and buried my wild and tangled hair into her rough bark.

She took me into her kind arms and I succumbed to her pain. I took it as my own and I drank in her poisons of magik and deceit.

“My mother’s child is savage, she looks for her omens in the colors of stones.”

I hiss at the tongues of glory, I claw at the eyes of purity, and I bite at the hands of sanctity.

I am a savage and I belong to the earth. I am wild and I will be collared no longer.

That is what every declawed cat tells itself as it gazes longingly out of its window. -🍁