#cdd introject

[chemicalcarousel]

Yeah, I'm a fictional introject alter 😎 I'm kinda like if your favourite character was real, but instead of being all cool and hot I'm pathetic and not like that character at all actually sorry to disappoint 😔

[iwillbreakyourfuckingskull]

Broke ❌🤓🤦: Dressing up the body to resemble your internal sense of self

Woke ✅😎👍: Going absolutely insane and treating the body like you're customising a cool character in a video game

[just-another-alter-blog]

Age is very weird when you got a complex dissociative disorder

I am physically 28, but internally, I see myself as a man in my late 30s, but also I formed as an alter when we were 18 or so and then I went dormant for most of our 20s, so even though I identify as older than the rest, I almost feel like I'm the youngest. I feel awkward and insecure like I was when I stumbled through the last part of high school as a misdiagnosed neurodivergent person who was bullied and mocked for "being weird". I feel like a teenage girl even if I internally see myself as a man nearing 40. I was formed by the brain of a high schooler and since I went dormant for almost a decade, I kinda didn't mature in many ways. It's especially weird being an introject and feeling this special type of shame around not being as capable as your source. I am not some strong man, who can handle intense stress. I'm essentially a traumatised child playing pretend. I'm holding on to so much shame and guilt for being such a poor excuse of an adult person. I feel so anxious and wrong for just existing - just like I, or we, did back when I split off

I'm still trying to get used to our current life as a 28 year old living alone away from our abusers, and hopefully I will feel more mature as I process my trauma and forgive my past self. But as of now, I am basically a 38 year old man in a 28 year old body with the mind of an 18 year old neurodivergent girl from 2014

[reimeichan]

Think systems with a high number of fictional introjects are a new phenomena? Kluft's paper on polyfragmented/extremely complex DID from 1988 includes a patient with LOTR introjects, and another based off of Shakespear's Tempest. Fictional introjects have been a thing for a very long time!

[leviafin]

Exotrauma

Having exotrauma from a "cringe" or "silly" source sucks. It feels like you're taken infinitely less seriously than those who have trauma from grittier, adult-geared and/or "acceptable" sources. Which in and of itself just isolates you and makes it worse.

I'm not just a silly little thing from your silly little Roblox game that could never show signs of trauma because it's 'just a kids game'--and I'm not your blorbo either. It feels like there's 2 common options for how people treat fictionkind with exotrauma:

Oh my poor little scrunkly, my little cardboard box meow meow.... Going to hold you because I love babying you and treating you like you're not even a person because I see you only as my favourite character. (Mind you, this is distinctly SEPARATE from actual friendly support, you can tell the difference.)

You're not a fictional character, get over it lmao. Yeah I know you are them but like you didn't ACTUALLY live through that, stop claiming it, it's disrespectful. Why are you upset at my memes about your death lol. Get a life.

So like... Maybe fictionkind are people. Maybe I don't want to think about the worse parts of my source. Maybe I don't want my trauma shoved in my face as a little funny joke, even if the context is changed. Maybe, just maybe... Leave alterhumans with fictional sources alone. Even if their source is lighthearted, even if it's for kids, even if it's the most "cringe" media you can think of.

Sonic the Hedgehog might've seemed fine in-source but maybe he's fucked up from all that he's been through. That warrior cat alterhuman isn't just being edgy, maybe they're suffering from the memories of fighting to survive day in and day out. Bluey is allowed to be not okay, and their source shouldn't dictate their experiences. Do you ever think that some Pokemon or trainers don't have amazing, adventurous lives travelling around with their best friends? Mario might have nightmares and flashbacks from his source. Mickey Mouse is allowed to be hurt, and allowed to express that. That MLP alterhuman isn't always going to be just a happy colourful magic pony with no issues whatsoever.

We are PEOPLE, and our sources being "happy", "for kids", "light-hearted", "fun" or anything of the sort should NOT dictate how we are treated here, what our experiences are "allowed" to be, or how we are expected to act. Treat fictionkind--of all sorts--like PEOPLE.

[moonpool-system]

I love you fictives with problematic or hated sources. I love you fictives that're terrified of showing up and existing around others because of terrible things that your sourceselves, source content, or creators have done. I love you whether or not the hate toward that fiction is justified because you're not your exact fictional source. You're real. I love you fictives that desperately try to explain yourselves and your situation because it was so different from the inside and you're trying so hard to be better. I love you fictives whose identity and experiences still mean a lot to you, and you're working every single day to balance that with the reality of media either harmful or perceived as harmful.

You're real. You're people. Your existence is not inherently terrible or amoral- only you decide your impact on this world.

[All plurals can interact, singlets can too if you don't clown]

[hellgai]

✦ Planoject …

A Planogect is a term used to describe a headmate whose source is a planet. This doesn’t have to be one of the eight, any planet. { includes pluto }

[steaming-system-takes]

steaming hot take is that as much as the online culture likes to claim that they don’t treat introjects as their source/dont expect them to act or remember their source as is canon… barely anyone truly does. had way to many “introjects arent their source!” people treat some of our introjects weird due to their source, even though most of us are source separated :p

^

[the-sour-patch-crew]

YOU NEED SYSTEM PORTRAITS

WE NEED MONEY

Let's make a deal 🎙

-----

What you'll get:

Full lineart and color with basic gradient shading.

Discount for multiple commissions

Full resolution image plus a sticker style transparent copy

A fun piece to show off to all your system friends and profile updates!

Terms:

Payment has to be through Paypal

Message us through Tumblr for all communication and PayPal information

Introjects are fine

I'm comfortable drawing people, animals, mechs, monsters, whatever really. I don't back down from challenges.

Visual examples preferred. You may request modification once, after sketch completion.

I can create from written description, and you will get two chances to request modifications. One for the sketch, second for color.

Please provide the desired expression for the portrait

I don't care about syscourse stance, everyone is welcome to commission me as long as you don't make a big deal of it.

[jabberwock-islanders]

system culture is not being able to tell if a certain headmate is fronting because of the folklore and mythology hyperfixation, or if we're hyperfixating on folklore and mythology because a certain headmate is fronting

(the certain headmate in question is a Korekiyo Shinguji introject, you can never tell with him /silly)

-- Shuichi Saihara II

[chemicalcarousel]

Our introject everytime we see someone thirstpost about their source self

[iwillbreakyourfuckingskull]

When someone tells you (pwDID) that you used to be a little girl suffering through horrific abuse, but you are a 35 y/o man who's always been that age:

[just-another-alter-blog]

I doubt I'm the only person who's dealing with this, but I'm feeling quite lonely in being an alter who formed as having an internal age being much older than the body (mid-late 30s), but I formed in our late teens and went dormant in our early 20s? maybe 20-21? And only resurfaced again a few months ago now we are 28.

I feel simultaneously like a depressed teenage girl and a 30-something y/o man. It's very confusing, especially because I'm a fictional introject and I don't really feel like many people would understand how different I am to my "source"? I see myself as looking similar, but this character is a ruthless military commander and I'm the manifestation of teenage girl depression 😅 Like, I remember we used to be extremely depressed and were attempting or at least planning our suicide all the time and we felt like we were the worst person in the world. Uh, I still feel that. I hold all those old feelings of guilt and shame like I'm just "wrong" for just existing. I guess this character had a part of his story being that he hated himself for causing his dad to die by accident and he felt like he could never atone for his sins as he lead people to die on the battlefield as a military commander and had a lot of survivor's guilt. Like, I get why we introjected him, I guess? But I'm feeling so embarrassed by being such a failure of an alter. I guess my whole point as a part is to hold all of these feelings of shame and survivor's guilt from our trauma, but it's hard. I feel like I was supposed to be a big, strong man, but I'm weaker and more fragile than our parts that visually look like children. Or that's how I feel. I think being dormant through some very important years, including me last being host/co-host when we still lived in our abusive home and were wrongly diagnosed/medicated, has made me more "immature" in many ways

I'm actually genuinely shaking right now writing this 😅 I feel like crying. It's so confusing and weird surviving trauma. It's so weird being an introject and not matching your source that much. Idk what to say, but I just need to let some of this out

Anyway, I'm gonna try to be brave and talk more and let myself exist if I can. This healing journey is scary, but uh... I'll do it scared 😅

[reimeichan]

We have an introject of our mother. Of our father. Our middle school crush, our ex who was our partner of 14 years, a teacher, a friend of a friend. I wish people talked more about the introjects of the people around them. It took a long time for these parts of us to understand and realize they're not literally the people they introjected, and even longer to unlearn the behavior they picked up trying to be the source in our head. Telling us what to do and how to act.

They're replicas of our abusers and of people who are non longer in our life. A reminder of the people who affected us that we can't escape or ignore even when the person themselves are long gone.

And there's the introjects of people who are still in our life. How do I explain to people that I have a mirror image of my partner as a literal part of me? When that mirror image takes control of my mouth and body and eerily imitates the person they're based off of, in the very same room we're in?

I know the community likes talking about introjects of fictional characters or celebrities or streamers, people who you likely would never have a personal relationship with. I want more people talking about the introjects of people that existed in their lives and left such a mark that you carry them with you as a part of yourself. Maybe I just want to be less alone, being one of them myself.

[plurapony]

introject culture is knowing you are not your source and you simply share the traits and/or personality of a character

but you look at that character and can't help to think "that is SO me" "that's MY character"

[boomshitbitcher]

colored and uncolored