#actually nd

[ghostonly]

Something I wish a lot of people understood is that just because I mention wanting to do something completely doable doesn't mean it's going to happen. Not to speak for us all, but I've got ADHD. I'm almost entirely made up of "I'm gonna"s and "we should"s and "it would be so fun to"s and "one day"s and almost all of it means absolutely nothing.

Wanna know why?

Because when your to-do queue is 700 items deep and you add five new things to it each day, according to priority, almost all of it is never going to happen, even if you would really like it to. There's just not enough time in the world.

So!! If you're friends or lovers with someone like me and you keep wondering if that thing they said is ever going to happen, please ask them.

Because, personally, there is a good chance that if I suggested something would be fun to do with a friend and then didn't follow up on it within the week, I didn't know you were actually that interested, and/or completely forgot about it, and/or it got swallowed by the higher priority to-do items in the queue. If you ask me about it and say you really wanted to do that, your personal investment is going to make that item jump the queue by like 95%

Sincerely, a guy with so much ADHD

[tortiefrancis]

Nobody talks about the hard parts about autism.

Nobody talks about not knowing when you need to eat, drink or pee. Not knowing when you're in pain, or why you're in pain. Not being able to communicate what you need.

Or when change is so hard to deal with you have meltdowns and outbursts. When you can't control your anger and hurt yourself or others. When you can't emote unless you're breaking down.

Or when you can't understand what someone is saying, what you're reading, anything. When you can't even try because trying makes it worse. When you ask for help but not getting what they say just makes you more frustrated.

And so many more difficult experiences we have to deal with that no one likes.

[ndcultureis]

Part of being neurodivergent is constantly getting mocked and teased for wearing out easier than neurotypicals. Where they can fit several different activities into a day, I'm exhausted before I've even finished the first one.

It's because so much work goes into masking. Talking to people in general, let alone when I don't actually want to, is exhausting in itself. Even the brightness of the sky can be overstimulating at times, and that's before I've done my shopping or done what I need to do, where there's too much talking and excessively loud music and workers who are often pressured into getting into your space before you've even walked several metres through the door.

What is considered background noise to some people is all I hear. I can't openly stim or do the things that make these jobs bearable because I'll get those looks from people that remind me that I'm not actually welcome unless I can be "normal".

I have to remember the script that I've created in my head for when I talk to the person I'm seeing. If they stray from what I had planned, I then have to create a new script on the spot without them realising that I'm on the verge of an anxiety attack because it's not going as I had hoped.

I have to make sure my facial expressions don't slip into what's natural, because it looks like i'm bored/disinterested. I have to make sure I'm making eye contact on occasions even when I don't want to because it's seen as disrespectful/impolite. Nobody wants to accommodate my needs more than they absolutely have to, but I spend every hour of every day - sometimes even in my own home - accommodating the people around me.

So yeah, small things can be exhausting.

[five-thousand-loaves-of-bread]

on tumblr lot more people know about it which great! that improve life of all AAC users. but pretty much with anything disability/developmental disability space on social media (which need certain amount of cognitive/intellectual & language abilities be on even if have support), good majority you see be teen & adult people who already literate learn language via speech n write *first* n then *independently* learn AAC base on it *later*.

especially symbol based AAC, but all AAC, is new system n hard n take long time learn even when you literate & not moderately severely cognitively disabled. but also, “literate teen/adult independent learn AAC” not at all full face of AAC user community.

as in like. experience of theirs. not universal. independently motivated & able to look up different AAC options different AAC apps, compare n contrast. download app n immediately know how to use, or able figure out by self. first time use app n may be clunky n slow, but make sentence on first try. need learn AAC, but most of that learning is for where words are (if button based), how exist as AAC user in public with confidence, etc. those all valid but not true for everyone who need AAC, especially not developmentally disabled children (& some adults) with complex communication needs.

most developmentally disabled children (n some adults) w complex communication needs who need AAC, can’t just hand them tablet with symbol based AAC app or text to speech AAC app n then wait for magic. many of them developmentally delayed in way, not taught in way that fit them (e.g. gestalt language processors), n their language abilities behind peers, so they can’t read, can’t spell, can’t grammar, etc.

some of them need learn where word is not by read word, sometimes not even by understand symbol, instead is by other people press button n hear sound n associate that with meaning n location on AAC n symbol associate with it. in other words, they learning language alongside AAC.

for some their learn process look like, learn how use AAC say one word. n then much later, try make two word message, “want food” “go school.” “two word message” incredibly common goal for many these developmentally disabled children, teens, n even adults, that is something rare n truly extraordinary for that person that need be celebrated.

for others it look like learn by phrase (gestalt), then slowly break it down into smaller phrase n chunks n finally single words.

many of them babble (click random/seemingly random buttons on high tech device, stim with it, etc). but ultimately, won’t be able learn all by self. need be taught, see you accidentally spill water n crying, maybe you “feel” “sad”, n when that happen you “need” “help” from adult. need learn AAC by adults around them constantly model with it, constantly use it in conversation, show them how use. because they learning language along side it.

but also some of them don’t know what this thing in front of them (AAC… device, low tech boards or picture cards, etc) is. don’t know what communication is or you should do that. don’t know people exist who you should communicate to & with. heard many parents n SLP say they try model all time, try all kind of stuff, but child just not seem interested in it, don’t look at it, don’t touch it, don’t use it.

people who use AAC, not all them struggle with only speech. some them struggle with language, with intellectual/cognitive. some of them very developmentally delayed.

n some people, too disabled learn or use AAC. yeah, they exist.

for people who cannot use / cannot only use speech to be understood, AAC can be life changing. but is so much more complex thing. AAC still not as widely used n accepted n properly taught n supported as should, some parents n professionals n schools still many pushback n refuse. but sometimes answer to “have you tried AAC for them” is “yes, but they need long time n lots help to learn n we not very far yet even though spent long time on it” or “yes, but they simply not show interest even after constant model” or “god, wish can, but insurance only cover if show some amount of communication competence n ability use AAC, while only give 1 month trial, which simply not enough time” (wide spread thing that happen) or “yes. many types. it not work.”

for many AAC users & AAC user-to-be, it not as simple as “be handed AAC n check back in while they figure out by self”

[snowflakesincalifornia]

Op turned off reblogs so here’s the post as a pic. And here’s the link to the thread: https://href.li/?https://twitter.com/the_tweedy/status/1600287106072735744

[unstablemotions]

when the mental disorder mental disorders

[colombinna]

Being neurodivergent is truly so inconvenient. We need to talk about that more. I had the whooole last half of last week and this whooole weekend to do nothing but study for my big exam on Thursday. I have not even yet managed to finish the remaining 15 pages of one of the texts. And the worst thing is, I don't feel like doing anything else either!! It's not like I desperately need to draw, it's not like I desperately want to play a game, or watch a specific tv show or read a specific comic. No, nope. I'm just absolutely unable to do the ONE thing I had planned my whole time to do - to study about a topic I'm EXTREMELY passionate about and know WHY it's important that I do so - and when I try to push through it I fall fucking asleep! AAAAAAAAAA!!!!! So I end up losing hours and hours on social media, and now executive dysfunction is screwing me all over, I'm taking my meds super late and waking up super late, and the whole day ends up being a mess!!

"We all have the same 24 hours on the day" you speak for your abled self, I barely get 10 these days!

[psychotic-tbh]

Do any other social folks on the schizophrenia spectrum also feel like they don’t know how to “people” after an episode?

It’s so strange to look back on how social I was when my symptoms were less severe and how (almost) outgoing I was

Now I’m not even sure how to talk to close friends and am just awkward. I lost my conversation skills :(

[morsobaby]

Sunlight in art and media: Spectacular, my favorite color, powerful and beautiful, an ageless timeless classic, an eternal truth, warmth and beauty and aesthetic

Sunlight in real life: Get the fuck out of my face. Why do you hate ME specifically. My head hurts. My eyes hurt. Save me. But also please don't go away I'll get depressed. Why is life

[iamshmolphrog]

cough cough, ahem.

AUTISM is not like THIS:

with the "bad" autism on one side and the "okay" autism on the other

AUTISM is like THIS:

A SPECTRUM! IT'S AUTISM SPECTRUM DISORDER!

[he13na]

i think autistic people should get money from the government as compensation for having to endure a hellscape of a world not made for us on a daily basis because life in general is so much harder

[solidwater05]

It's ADHD awareness month so l thought it'd be nice to explain why someone with ADHD might consciously make horrible decisions despite being aware of the consequences

So, let's image a situation. A person with ADHD is doing a mildly entertaining activity, let's say doomscrolling. This person also has a task to do. I made a graph where the brighter the color, the higher the satisfaction that the person gets from an activity

[ID: A graph showing a line that divides into two separate lines. The main line, and the bottom line, are a dull yellow. The top line starts off black, and turns bright green as it gets further away from the bifurcation. /End ID]

So here, doomscrolling isn't super gratifying but hey, it's better than nothing. The person has the choice to keep doomscrolling, even though it's honestly pretty boring, or they could do the task they need to do. When they're done with that task, they'll feel a lot better, so they should do that, right? Just do the task because there's literally no cons? Well. Look at this other graph:

[ID: The same graph as before, but cropped to only show the bifurcation itself. This way, the top line seems to be completely black. /End ID]

This is how a person with ADHD perceives the choice. They can logically know that they'll feel better if they do the task, but executive dysfunction makes it literally impossible to get any sort of motivation or satisfaction for gratification that doesn't currently exist. So the choice goes from 'feel meh or feel good later' to 'feel great in comparison or never feel good again'. And what's the obvious choice here?

[bitchwholoveslife]

"The Good Doctor set back autism acceptance by 50 years" No, it's just showing how ablist people actually are once you get past respectability politics. People are making fun of Shaun explicitly and solely because of his less pleasant autistic traits. They say, "I support autistic people" while mocking Shaun for his monotone voice, awkwardness, lack of eye contact, meltdowns, and inappropriate reactions at inopportune times. The Good Doctor did not set back autistic acceptance, it just shows how most folks' ""acceptance"" of autism is purely for looks, and stops once an autistic person starts showing their traits instead of masking until they die.

[wormworker]

average loser: (sees neurodivergent behavior and calls it "serial killer behavior")

[five-thousand-loaves-of-bread]

frankly super uncomfortable have “neurodiversity affirming” (now use as meaningless buzzword but demand be treat as this radical thing) be associate with “nonspeaking not nonverbal put/ nonspeaking right nonverbal ableist wrong” so hard two become synonymous. be treat as, only way be neurodiversity affirming is say nonspeaking & never say nonverbal. that MUST only ever say nonspeaking to be neurodiversity affirming. that say nonverbal put you exact same equally as bad as ableist oppressor power holders who actively not give & deny & exclude people who not able mouth speak education & rights & autonomy & humanity.

really have nothing unreasonable or bias against apraxic nonspeakers, or term nonspeaking. really don’t. really do believe they have valuable thing to say n important listen.

but it get really really tiring, n traumatic (not use this word lightly), be constantly screamed at, cursed at, insulted, mocked, called names, doubted, disbelieved, fake claimed, abused because dare casually call self nonverbal without go on 1000 word essay on why (& often times even with that 1000 word essay), phd dissertation on history of these two terms n definitions n histories n uses. to point of every time be outside circle of people who willing understand me (person with cognitive & language disability), severe anxiety & fear & post-traumatic stress spiral of, “can say am nonverbal? should? that get me strangers abuse? should preemptively explain? carefully word it? more detail. more detail.” over one of my most important identity & label. even simple “am nonverbal not nonspeaking” invite people (group that famously describe self as literal & not read into subtext) accusatory question me “why you ableist piece of shit distance self from nonspeaking people, you clearly think people who not able mouth speak incompetent” not expecting answer, because they already made up one for me, already spoke for me, a person who not mouth speak (& struggle w overall communication) they claim advocate for.

n same time cannot pretend that term nonspeaking, nonspeaking advocacy from many nonspeakers, & nonspeaking advocacy from not-nonspeakers, so closely tied with ableism by action of people who use it that it become part of definition, defining pillar of activism. cannot pretend “am just can’t speak but my mind intact (am very intelligent can write just fine)” is value neutral not-ableist sentence. cannot pretend all that ableism against people with intellectual disability (yes, people w correctly diagnosed ID exist) & people with language disorder not exist.

if you can’t separate term nonverbal from it’s ableist misuse history, you not get to have problem with me refuse call self nonspeaking because how so many people use ableism to fundamentally define it. n unlike you, at least am able recognize term nonspeaking, neutral.

am super uncomfortable with “neurodiversity affirming” when one pillar of it is define me out of existence n label me n people who support me as ableist & same amount of evil as my oppressors. is to use me as scapegoat. scapegoat for other people trauma while create trauma for me. whose neurodiversity we affirming?

“nothing about us without us” who the second us? is it actually us, or do you just mean you?

“language important” so “say nonspeaking not nonverbal FOR ALL” but when am push back against it ask be personally called nonverbal ask not use term nonverbal as scapegoat ask please not demonize term nonverbal, suddenly am “too hang up on semantics” and “there real oppression other than argue over online terms” (as if be denied literal actively barred kicked out from community isn’t one) and “can’t speak for everyone”

when these people the one with platform and ability, shaping public views, shaping assistive tech and therapies that am need, even advocating to shape & shaping policies n legislatures.

sure do hope am included in those.

[nonverbal = not able mouth speak. all the time only. not by choice. not sometimes. not temporary. not episode. not “go nonverbal.”]

[paloma-ascends-into-hellfire]

very aware of the work i need to do, very unable to do it 😍