#affirmative therapy

[religion-is-a-mental-illness]

By: Jo Bartosch

Published: May 3, 2023

Twenty years ago, after one too many beers, I met some pagans in a pub in Gloucestershire. They invited me to travel with them to Ireland the next morning on a spiritual pilgrimage. I expected a mystical experience, but I remained unmoved. On returning to Ireland last week to attend two rival conferences on how best to help people distressed about their gender, I realised that my scepticism is still intact – and that mad beliefs about magic have spread far beyond damp hippies.

The two conferences were very different. The larger, more established conference was organised by the European Professional Association for Transgender Health (EPATH), which claims to promote the ‘mental, physical and social health of transgender people in Europe’. The other conference was organised by a relative upstart called Genspect. Founded in 2021, Genspect is an international organisation that aims to ‘promote high-quality, evidence-based care for gender-nonconforming individuals all around the world’.

In a press release from March, Genspect’s director, psychotherapist Stella O’Malley, summed up the difference between the two organisations’ approaches when dealing with those experiencing gender distress: ‘The EPATH programme promotes heavy medical interventions while Genspect favours the least-invasive approach first.’ Genspect, explained O’Malley, aims to ‘crack open EPATH’s mono-focus on medicalised modes of treatment’.

The Genspect conference set out to challenge both the magical thinking of trans ideology and the medicalisation of childhood distress that this has led to. This was reflected by the presence of around a dozen ‘detransitioners’ among the delegates – that is, people who regret transitioning and want to revert to their original gender. These detransitioners, who were predominantly under 30, are now living with the consequences of taking hormones and having their healthy body parts amputated. In time, they might recover their mental health. But in many cases the harm done to their bodies will be permanent.

Michael Biggs, an associate professor in sociology at the University of Oxford, has long been investigating the effect of puberty-blocking drugs on sexual maturation. Presenting his findings at the Genspect conference, Biggs revealed that patients who have suppressed their puberty as children before surgical transition may never be able to orgasm as adults.

Speaking after the conference, Biggs told me that there is a wilful lack of published research on the long-term effects of taking puberty blockers. He said that ‘puberty blockers have been used in the Netherlands for over three decades, and yet the long-term effects are known for only one person’. By the age of 35, that ‘one person was depressed and ashamed of their genitals’.

Biggs also revealed that where research has been carried out into puberty blockers there have been attempts to suppress it. The NHS’s Gender Identity Development Service (GIDS) at London’s Tavistock clinic, which is due to be closed down later this year, began a study of 44 children aged between 12 and 15 in 2011. But GIDS director Dr Polly Carmichael effectively kept the results of this trial to herself. The findings remained unpublished until they were discovered and first analysed by Biggs in 2018. ‘It required a complaint to the Health Research Authority, questions in parliament, and a judicial review’, Biggs tells me, ‘before Dr Carmichael finally published the full results’.

Most disturbingly, Biggs told me of the awful fate of one healthy Dutch teenager. After having his puberty blocked as a child, the teenager underwent a vaginoplasty aged 18. The complicated procedure involved taking tissue from his bowel to create a replica vagina and vulva. Within 24 hours of having surgery, he had died in hospital of necrotising fasciitis.

Predictably, EPATH’s conference featured no such criticism of these surgical or medical interventions. Far from it. The conference was even spon.sored by a company offering facial-feminisation surgery, and from the off EPATH went on the offensive. In the opening address, the organisation’s outgoing president, Joz Motmans, attacked ‘anti-gender and anti-trans voices, legislation, policies and movements’. Motmans even claimed that the growing public scepticism towards trans ideology was driven by ‘far-right parties’. ‘We respect everyone’s freedom of speech’, he said, ‘but we choose not to listen to it’.

In the interests of actual free speech and debate, EPATH attendees were told that they would be permitted access to Genspect with their EPATH ticket. This gesture was not reciprocated. Indeed, EPATH has even blocked Genspect from its Twitter account.

Whether or not EPATH chooses to listen, the debate over how best to treat patients with gender distress is gaining momentum across Europe. Last year’s announcement that the Tavistock clinic would be shut down, on the grounds its model of care is ‘not safe’ for children, has sent shockwaves across the continent. Medical bodies are now sounding the alarm in Sweden, France and most recently Norway. More and more clinical professionals are coming out to ask for the evidence that mental distress can be successfully treated by ‘gender-affirming’ medical interventions.

Last week in Ireland, the authority of EPATH’s gender priests took a battering. They showed themselves to be unwilling and perhaps even incapable of engaging with those who hold opposing views. More damning still, they refused to engage with the evidence.

Trans ideology is now being exposed for the magical thinking it always was. Its adherents are doing real harm.

==

Telling people to get a facelift or a boob-job when they're depressed or anxious used to be regarded as unethical.

Now it's a moral imperative.

[shamebats]

[anotherlightcounselling]

The Need for Queer Affirmative Therapy in India

In a world that is gradually becoming more accepting of diversity, the LGBTQ+ community continues to face unique challenges. In India, where traditional norms often clash with evolving attitudes, there is a growing need for specialized mental health support. Queer affirmative counselling and the compassionate professionals who provide it, known as queer affirmative therapists, are playing a crucial role in addressing these challenges. In this article, we will delve into the importance of queer affirmative therapy in India and how these therapists are making a significant difference in the lives of LGBTQ+ individuals.

Queer affirmative therapy, also known as LGBTQ+ affirmative therapy, is a specialized form of psychotherapy designed to cater to the unique mental health needs of LGBTQ+ individuals. It is a safe and accepting space where individuals can explore their thoughts and feelings without fear of judgement or discrimination.

Queer affirmative therapists are mental health professionals who have received specialized training in working with LGBTQ+ clients. They possess a deep understanding of the issues faced by this community, including identity exploration, coming out, discrimination, and family dynamics. Their primary goal is to provide empathetic, non-judgmental, and culturally competent support to LGBTQ+ individuals.

LGBTQ+ individuals in India often experience higher rates of mental health issues compared to the general population. Discrimination, stigma, and societal pressures can lead to anxiety, depression, and other mental health challenges. Therapy offers a lifeline to address these disparities by providing mental health support that is sensitive to the unique struggles faced by the LGBTQ+ community.

Coming out is a significant milestone in the life of an LGBTQ+ individual. It can be an emotionally complex journey, often fraught with fear and uncertainty. Queer affirmative counsellors provide invaluable guidance, support, and coping strategies to help individuals navigate this critical phase of their lives.

Many LGBTQ+ individuals in India grapple with self-acceptance due to societal norms and biases. Queer affirmative treatment plays a pivotal role in helping clients develop a positive self-image, nurturing self-acceptance and self-esteem. This, in turn, contributes to improved overall mental well-being.

Discrimination and microaggressions against LGBTQ+ individuals are still prevalent in India. Queer affirmative practitioners equip their clients with effective strategies to cope with these experiences and build resilience. Additionally, they provide a safe space for clients to process the emotional toll of discrimination.

Family acceptance is a critical factor in the mental health and well-being of LGBTQ+ individuals. Therapists can work with families to foster understanding and acceptance, bridging the gap between parents and their LGBTQ+ children.

The Role of Queer Affirmative Therapists :

Queer affirmations are pivotal in providing the support and guidance needed by LGBTQ+ individuals in India. Here are some key ways in which they contribute to their clients' well-being:

Creating a Safe and Accepting Environment: Therapists establish a judgement-free and affirming space where clients can openly share their thoughts and emotions, knowing they will be met with understanding and empathy.

Culturally Competent Care: These therapists possess deep insights into the cultural and societal nuances affecting LGBTQ+ individuals in India, ensuring that their care is culturally sensitive and relevant.

Education and Awareness: Therapists educate their clients about LGBTQ+ issues, helping them understand their identities and the broader societal context they live in.

Building Resilience: They equip their clients with coping strategies to navigate the challenges they may encounter, including discrimination and stigma.

Supportive Allies: Therapists serve as allies who provide validation and empathy as their clients explore their identities and mental health.

As the need for queer affirmative therapy in India continues to grow, it's essential for LGBTQ+ individuals to know how to access these services:

Online Resources: Online directories and resources can help individuals locate queer affirmative therapists in their area, offering information about specialization and expertise.

LGBTQ+ Support Organizations: Many LGBTQ+ support organizations in India maintain lists of therapists offering affirmative care. Contacting these organizations is a valuable starting point.

Referrals: Seeking referrals from friends, acquaintances, or LGBTQ+ community members who have had positive therapy experiences can help individuals find a suitable therapist.

Research and Interviews: It's crucial to research potential therapists and, if possible, schedule introductory sessions or interviews to ensure a good fit between the therapist and client.

Queer affirmative therapy and the dedicated queer affirmative therapists who provide it are essential pillars of support for the mental health and well-being of LGBTQ+ individuals in India. As society continues to evolve, it is crucial that mental health services evolve too, addressing the unique needs of this community. Queer affirmative therapy offers a sanctuary of understanding, acceptance, and empowerment, helping LGBTQ+ individuals live fulfilling lives.

[herb3lla]

PLEASE tell yourself nice things!!

Go to bed telling yourself nice things, "I had an AMAZING day today." "I am thriving" even if in the physical reality you had the worst possible day, YOURE GONNA FLIP THE SCRIPT and tell yourself that you had the most AMAZING day,

Wake up in the morning telling yourself nice things "I am beautiful" "I am happy and healthy" "I am abundant". When you're at work/school tell yourself nice things "I am prosperous" "everything is ALWAYS working out in my favour" "whatever I want I get 10x better" "God has my back" ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS!!!

check in with your mental diet every single moment of the day. Because I can't stress this enough, THE MOMENT I stopped talking Ill about me and saying nice things to myself whenever I caught myself saying things that disapproved of my self worth, I flipped the dialogue exactly the positive of that. And I promise you, each and every single time you do this, even the littlest of "flipping your internal dialogue" will build up to your confidence.

The moment I started doing this, my hair grew thicker, my skin got clearer, my confidence got higher, people started to complement my aura, even teachers were complimenting my beauty. I caught MULTIPLE men wanting to have a chance with me ( but I'm sooo picky of who I allow into my life and I'm gonna get to that on my next post) EVERYTHING started to align FOR ME as if life was happening THROUGH ME. animals started to love me more, my cats got closer to me, birds started to live with me, I GOT SPECIAL PRIVILEGES from around me. When I say FLIP YOUR INTERNAL DIALOGUE? I'm not even kidding guys. Even my grades got up!? TRY IT!!

[theambitiouswoman]

Cognitive Techniques To Change Your Thoughts ✨✨

Cognitive techniques are strategies used in cognitive therapy to help you identify and change negative thoughts and beliefs. These techniques should be practiced regularly so that they become habits.

Cognitive Restructuring: This involves identifying and challenging negative or irrational thoughts and replacing them with more positive or rational beliefs.

Thought Stopping: When you notice a negative thought entering your mind, you can mentally shout "Stop!" This interrupts the thought process and gives you a chance to replace the negative thought with a positive one.

Mindfulness and Meditation: These practices help you become more aware of your thoughts and feelings in the present moment. When you observe your thoughts without judgment, you gain insight into negative patterns and choose to let them go.

Journaling: Writing down your thoughts can help you process and analyze them. With time you can identify patterns and work on changing negative thought cycles.

Positive Affirmations: Repeating positive statements can help counteract negative self talk and reinforce positive beliefs about yourself.

Evidence Collection: When faced with a negative belief, ask yourself, "What evidence do I have that supports or refutes this thought?" This can help you see things in a more balanced way.

Decatastrophizing: If you tend to imagine the worst scenario, ask yourself how likely it is to happen and what other possible outcomes there might be. This can help you view situations more realistically.

Labeling: Instead of saying "I am a failure," label the thought as "a negative thought about my abilities."

Distraction: Engaging in an activity or hobby can divert your attention from negative thoughts and give your mind a break.

Scheduling Worry Time: Instead of ruminating on worries throughout the day, set aside a specific time to process them. This can prevent constant worry and allow you to focus on other tasks.

Challenging Cognitive Distortions: Recognize and challenge cognitive distortions like black-and-white thinking, overgeneralization, and personalization.

Visual Imagery: Visualize a place or situation where you feel calm and happy. This can help shift your focus from negative thoughts.

These are very simple descriptions and examples of cognitive techniques. I listed the ones we can put into practice on our own. There are more in depth methods and practices used by doctors on different fields of study and practice. I can list, as well as add upon the information listed here.

[goodgrlguides]

perfect hair, exceptional grades, beautiful body, is always right, attractive, beauty with brains, clean and fresh, sexy no matter how she feels, well spoken, well mannered, intelligent, unmatchable aura, trendsetter, scandalous with limit, unbreakable confidence, belief in herself and in others, gives love and deserves even more back, ultimately the perfect woman and goal.

[genderqueerpositivity]

CW: testosterone therapy, periods, physical changes from HRT

Earlier this year, I'd reached a point where I was wondering if I'd already seen all of the benefits and changes from testosterone therapy that I could possibly receive. It really seemed like everything had come to a halt as far as changes from HRT go.

Worse, what started as random spotting and painful cramping (which I originally blamed on really high stress) eventually became full blown periods, and this went on for months. At one point, it really felt like I wasn't even on T anymore. I blamed myself, because I would occasionally be late or forget to apply my testosterone cream. I thought that the bleeding, the inconsistent T levels, and the lack of progress was my own fault.

And then, I had to switch compounding pharmacies. And every single one of my problems disappeared within two weeks of starting the first tube of cream from the new pharmacy.

Nothing else has changed. Not my dose, nor where I apply it. I still forget and apply a few hours late sometimes, other times I miss a day entirely.

But the periods and cramping haven't returned. And I'm beginning to see small changes here and there again. I have to trim my ear and nose hairs now; I have more chest hair than ever before. It's time to face the fact that testosterone has made me a bear lmao.

Point being, looking back I really think that the quality of the testosterone cream I was getting from that first compounding pharmacy was kind of suspect. Looking at reviews online from other people really confirmed my suspicion; many people claimed that the quality of the prescriptions they received was wildly inconsistent from month to month. Not to mention, more recent reviews seem to suggest that their business is going under entirely, and from my own experiences attempting (and failing) to get my prescriptions filled with them in a timely manner, I'm not surprised.

I don't often see a lot of posts from trans folks on testosterone who use compounded cream, so I want to put this out there for others to see. If you're struggling to maintain consistent T levels, don't rule out the quality of your prescription as a possible cause. Make sure that the compounding pharmacy you're getting your T from is reputable and has good reviews.

[postitforward]

Hey, y’all 👋

It is week five, our final week, of Holiday Blues. How y’all keeping? 

The holiday season can feel a lot. For those who celebrate, Christmas has come and gone, we are on the verge of a new year, and we’ve got the long winter months before us 😩 but that is why we’ve got Self-Care Sunday, and that is where we want to give you some essential time to rest and recuperate well into the new year.

For Holiday Blues this year, we have partnered with Therapy for Black Girls, who have put together some essential resources to help YOU through the winter and ensure you get the essential downtime y’all need to truly look after yourself. For this last week, the theme is Affirmations and Self-Care!

Did you take good care this year? Let’s talk about centering self-care and making more space for your mental wellness and personal growth in the new year. Join @therapyforblackgirls for tips and resources that will help you look after yourself when you need it most. 

🧘WATCH: Self-Care Sunday. Tumblr X Therapy for Black Girls: Affirmations and Self-Care. 12/31 at 1pm EST. 🧘

[kakao-lovey]

Reminder

Your value is not determined by your grades, because you can't rank something as complex and psychologically intricate as a human being's knowledge on a scale of one to one-hundred

Your value is not determined by your weight, because you would be the exact same person you are right now if you never had a body to begin with

Your value is not determined by other people, because life is a woven carpet of stories and people need to seek out villains in their stories to live their human nature

Your value is not determined by your moral purity, because there is no such thing

Your value is not determined by your discipline, because real discipline lies in acceptance of who you are

Your value is not determined by your income, because capitalism is a mess of a system and favours material qualities and appearance over whether you're a felon

Value on a human does not exist.

[religion-is-a-mental-illness]

By: SEGM

Published: Apr 18, 2023

The field of gender medicine must stop relying on social justice arguments and return to the time-honored principles of evidence-based medicine.

-

A new article in Springer’s Current Sexual Health Reports, “Current Concerns About Gender-Affirming Therapy in Adolescents,” provides an up-to-date overview of the current state of evidence about the practice of gender transition in youth in the Western world and discusses the international debates surrounding this controversial practice.

The authors identify the key area of concern: It is unknown how gender-transitioned young patients fare in the long term. Systematic reviews of evidence of youth gender transition are naturally limited by short follow-up times, as the practice only began at scale after 2015. For this reason, it is informative to look at long-term adult outcome data. Unfortunately, the long-term studies of adult transitioners have repeatedly failed to show lasting psychological improvements, and studies with the longest follow-up suggest "the possibility of treatment-associated harms." 

In fact, the disappointing long-term outcomes of adult transitioners were used to justify transitioning minors, in the hope that earlier intervention would lead to improved outcomes. However, every quality systematic review of youth gender transition to date has failed to find credible benefits even in the short-term, issuing conclusions about the risk-benefit ratio that range from highly uncertain to unfavorable.

The authors observe:

There has never been a dispute about whether medical and surgical interventions can feminize or masculinize secondary and some primary sex characteristics. For children and adolescents, the debate is not whether such transformations are possible, but “at what age can youth meaningfully consent,” “upon fulfilling which criteria,” and perhaps most importantly, “just because we can – should we?”. Such questions have provoked an intensity of divisiveness within and outside of medicine rarely seen with other clinical uncertainties. This passion reflects decidedly different prioritization of scientific evidence, medical ethics, and social values.

Ten key unproven—or disproven—assumptions underlying the practice of youth transitions

The authors note that while a “growing number of European countries recognized deficiencies in the evidence supporting the highly medicalized “gender-affirming” approach to treating gender-dysphoric youth, in North America, the narrative that “gender-affirmative care has been scientifically proven” has been remarkably resilient.”

The authors observe that the practice of “gender affirmation” of minors using hormones and surgery is based on 10 key fallacious assumptions that are misrepresented as proven facts:

The emergence of a trans identity is the result of reaching a higher level of self-awareness.

Whether the trans-identity emerges in very young children, older children, teens, or mature adults, it is authentic and will be lifelong.

All gender identity variations are biologically determined and inherently healthy.

The frequently co-occurring psychiatric symptoms are a direct result of gender incongruence (the so-called “minority stress” model).

The only way to relieve, or prevent, psychiatric problems is to alter the body at the earliest signs of puberty.

Psychological evaluations and attempts to address psychiatric comorbidities should only be used to support transition.

Attempts to resolve gender dysphoria with psychotherapy range from ineffective to harmful.

Gender-dysphoric youth must have unquestioning social, hormonal, and surgical support for their current gender identities and desired physical appearance.

All individual embodiment goals, even those that do not occur in nature, must be fulfilled to the full extent technically possible.

Science has proven the benefits of early gender transition, and low rates of regret and detransition further validate the practice.

The authors refute these assumptions, focusing on the three most critical fallacies. They recount the evidence that identity formation in adolescence is far from complete, and a trans identity for many will prove to be temporary. They note that the rationale for “gender-affirming” interventions has shifted from reducing extreme suffering, to merely fulfilling individual embodiment goals, which undermines the original premise of administering drastic, irreversible interventions off-label to young people whose identities are far from fully formed.  

Finally, the authors note that the claim that gender-transition is a proven net-beneficial practice is demonstrably false. The claims by gender medicine clinicians that these interventions are “proven” collapse when scrutinized through the lens of systematic reviews, which are a fundamental requirement of evidence-based medicine. Unlike “narrative reviews” which the field has come to rely on, and which cherry-pick “favorite” studies and merely restate those studies' biased conclusions, systematic reviews require the analysis of all the available evidence, subjecting each study to a critical appraisal for risk of bias and other methodological problems, issuing an overarching conclusion which states the effects of a given treatment, and grades evidence for quality/certainty.

To date, every systematic review of evidence has concluded that the evidence of benefits is highly uncertain. The only disagreement is about the harms: some consider the harms also uncertain, while others note that the evidence of potential harms to bone and cardiovascular health, and the expected infertility and sterility, render the practice net-harmful for most youth today.

Clash of Ethical Principles and Value Systems

The authors note that most clinicians involved in the heated debate over gender-transitions of youth believe that they are practicing according to the principles of medical ethics. The disagreement comes from a clash in value systems:

Those who insist that a young person has the right to receive any medical intervention they desire now, and the right to regret that intervention later, privilege autonomy above all else. Those who advocate for sharply curbing the practice of medical interventions in gender-diverse minors because they view the practice as a major source of iatrogenic harm, privilege the principle of non-maleficence.

They also acknowledge that there is disagreement about what constitutes beneficence:

Each side claims they are pursuing beneficence, but sharply disagree on the solution: one side insists that the most benefit is derived by undergoing a transition as early in puberty as possible to achieve the best possible cosmetic outcomes, while the other asserts that achieving cognitive maturity, emotional stability, and obtaining life experiences (including sexual experiences) prior to making the decision to undergo irreversible transition will provide the most long-term benefit for affected individuals.

Detransition and Regret

The authors point out the growing evidence of significant rates of medical detransition, which has reached 30% in at least one comprehensive analysis of US data. They note that while not all detransition signifies regret, the claims of less than 1% regret rates are not credible.

Most studies reporting low regret rates define regret narrowly, such as requesting a legal change of sex markers or beginning the administration of natal-sex hormones. However, many detransitioners do not have their gonads (ovaries and testes) removed, so they have no need to supplement with natal sex hormones upon detransition. One of the most-frequently quoted studies of “very low regret” would not have considered Keira Bell, one of the best known regretters whose case contributed to the UK’s current restructuring of its approach to managing gender dysphoria in youth, to be a regretter.

The authors acknowledge that regret is a complex phenomenon, and regret and acceptance can co-exist. For many people who have undergone the most extensive physical changes, detransition is not possible, and many choose an adaptive approach of making the best of their lives without undergoing more invasive procedures. However, as the numbers of detransitioners grow, regret and lawsuits by harmed patients will likely increase in number and visibility.

The Reversal of “Gender-Affirming Care”

The authors note that public health authorities are increasingly aware that hormones and surgery are being administered to a growing number of children and adolescents with gender dysphoria who are unlike previous cohorts of transgender-identifying individuals. In years past, the majority of youth seeking to transition were male and had longstanding gender dysphoria. Today, the preponderance of young people with gender dysphoria are females whose transgender identities emerged only in adolescence and who suffer from pre-existing mental illness and neurocognitive disorders.

After public health authorities in England, Finland, and Sweden conducted systematic reviews of the available evidence to determine whether the benefits of youth gender transition outweigh the risks, they concluded that the benefits do not outweigh the risks and have revised their practices and policies, sharply restricting medical and surgical transition of children and adolescents. Reassessment of policies governing gender transition of youth also is underway in France, Norway, and several US states.

In the United States, a number of states have begun to pass laws that sharply restrict the availability of "gender-affirming" interventions in general medical settings. The authors suggest that politicization of this complex issue may have been a direct result of the US medical societies' decision to privilege civil rights arguments over the principles of evidence-based medicine:

Many US state laws have been introduced to limit or ban gender transitions of youth. The reluctance of the US medical societies to recognize the apparent problems with medical “gender affirmation” of youth may have contributed to the unfortunate and preventable politicization of this complex issue.

The authors remind clinicians that while social justice, civil rights, and freedom of expression are compelling arguments, they complicate “clinicians’ consideration of how to respond to gender dysphoric adolescents and their families." The authors note that concerned family members want to know: " 'Where is this identity coming from?' 'What about my child’s previous difficulties?' and critically, 'Will transition give my child the best chance for a happy and fulfilling life?' "

When faced with such questions, "clinicians are ethically bound to honestly represent the uncertainty of the current state of knowledge, rather than asserting that body modification is the best, safest, and most effective treatment. When a concerned family seeks our counsel, they are seeking our knowledge, not our political ideation and beliefs.”

[shamebats]

PSA estrogen blockers are a thing & you can ask your dr to prescribe them if you keep getting your cycle despite being on T. It's not standard bc most ppl don't need it but for some of us, T itself just doesn't do the job & our E levels remain too high. If that's the case for you, you might need to ask for an E blocker.

[maxiglow]

Realest Intentions

[ed-recoverry]

Hey!

Beating yourself to a pulp when someone asks you to own up to a wrongdoing is just as toxic as refusing to take any accountability.

Admitting you’re wrong sucks. Having someone tell you you’re wrong really really sucks. No doubt about it.

But we are all human. Even the healthiest among us are bound to fuck up many, many times.

And part of being healthy and maintaining healthy relationships is being able to own your mistake and move on.

Yes, it’s toxic and counter productive if you refuse to take any responsibility.

But it’s equally as toxic to go on and on about how awful you are and how the person asking for an apology should just leave because of how much you suck. And how this means you’re the worst friend/partner in the world and you deserve nothing.

This is just as toxic as refusing to take any responsibility because this is another form of refusing to take responsibility.

All this does is make the person who asked for an apology feel like they owe you an apology. It also sends the message that they are bad for wanting an apology.

That is not accepting responsibility.

It’s sucks realizing you fucked up. Admitting it sucks even more. But it’s a whole lot easier (and healthier) to apologize for your actions and move on than to dwell over how awful you are for making a mistake.

Because you aren’t. Everyone makes mistakes.

Apologize, move on, and take steps to avoid making the same mistake. That is how you give an apology and ensure your partner/friend feels safe with you.

We all mess up. We all need to give apologies. I promise it isn’t the end of the world.

[selfcherish]

"Keep going out of spite"

RIP Tater Tot 💔

Credits to Catnap Dreaming on Instagram



[shamelesslyimpurrfect]

[colorfulartherapy]

I wish you the best things in life 💛