#Son of a hula hoop!

[bobauthorman]

Words to Live By

[sbnkalny]

*screams in confusion and anguish* I wont stop until you give me your p r e t W h e w p E e B Ooh, black and white

[gardentool]

Nanami: Do you wanna know how I actually hurt my wrist?

Gojo: Yes.

Nanami: I was hula-hooping. Y/N and I attend a class for fitness and for fun.

Gojo: Oh my god.

Nanami: I've mastered all the moves. The pizza toss, the tornado, the scorpion, the oopsie doodle.

Gojo: Why are you telling me all this?

Nanami: Because no one will ever believe you.

Gojo: You sick son of a bitch.

[moonyswarmsweaters]

Regulus: Do you wanna know how I actually hurt my wrist?

Barty: Yes

Regulus: I was hula-hooping. James and I attend a class for fitness and for fun

Barty: Oh my god

Regulus: I've mastered all the moves. The pizza toss, the tornado, the scorpion, the oopsie doodle

Barty: Why are you telling me all this?

Regulus: Because no one will ever believe you

Barty: You sick son of a bitch.

[zephyrchama]

(Based on that one scene from B99)

“Lucifer, your wrist looks kind of funny.”

All eyes turned to the Avatar of Pride when Leviathan pointed this out. They were supposed to be organizing the house library, but it was a long and boring task. One that everyone wanted to finish quickly, yet nobody could find the motivation to make any real progress.

“Oh no! What happened?” Asmodeus leaned over a table to try and steal a peek. Lucifer’s wrist was, indeed, bent in an odd manner. He used his non-dominant hand to shuffle some papers in order.

“Don’t worry about it. I’m fine.”

“Yeah, Asmo!” Mammon jeered. “Back off, leave the guy alone.”

Lucifer ignored his brothers, icy gaze focused on the documents in hand. They were papers that had been misfiled and did not belong in the library. He reminded everyone in the room to “behave yourselves” before disappearing into his office.

Curious eyes followed him until he was truly out of sight. Then, the brothers exchanged fascinated looks. It’s not every day that Lucifer get injured.

“Alright, everybody bring it in. Huddle up.” Mammon ushered everyone to come close with a sweep of his hand. The boys reluctantly formed a loose circle.

“What are you up to now?” Belphegor asked with a sigh. “I want to finish this already.”

Mammon pretended not to hear as he whisper-shouted, “so, he wouldn’t say what happened, which can only mean one thing.”

”He’s in a fight club,” Beelzebub suggested.

“No. He did it doing something he’s embarrassed by.” Satan was quick to catch on to the truth.

Beelzebub followed up with, “oh. Could be a sports injury. I sprained my wrist playing fangol last year.”

“Really? I don’t remember that,” Belphegor said.

Leviathan asked, “you think Lucifer was playing fangol?”

A deep growl suddenly came from the doorway. There was no warning or indication that Lucifer would be back so quickly. Yet, the man in question had returned. His menacing quickly caused the group to shut up.

“I can hear you speculating about the nature and origin of my injury from my office, but I don’t think it’s relevant to your jobs. The jobs you should all be doing right now. Get to work.”

The brothers scattered like roaches back to their respective corners of the library. All except for Satan, who Lucifer beckoned over with his finger. Satan hesitated at first, but it was better to go along with Lucifer when his mood was sour. The two stepped out for a minute, far enough away that no one else would overhear.

“What?” Satan was fed up with this conversation and it hadn’t even started.

“Do you want to know how I actually hurt my wrist?

Satan’s eyebrows flew up and he took several seconds to think about the question. What an odd offer. There was nothing for Lucifer to gain by telling him this, was there? Though, if he spent too long thinking Lucifer might change his mind and leave his little brother wondering what happened forever. With an oddly docile tone of voice, Satan responded, “...Yes.”

While Satan was busy wondering how to respond, Lucifer had taken out his DDD. He was scrolling through a menu in search of something. “I was hula hooping. Diavolo and I attend a class for fitness and for fun.”

“No way.” Satan's true thoughts leaked out. It was so dumb, it couldn’t be true.

Lucifer raised his phone to Satan’s eye level. The proof was there. ”I’ve mastered all the moves. The pizza toss. The tornado. The scorpion, the oopsie doodle.”

With each and every silly name, Lucifer swiped to a new photo on his phone. There he was, doing the pizza toss. Showing Diavolo how to do the scorpion. Performing a flawless oopsie doodle. Satan was stupefied, his mouth ajar.

“Why are you telling me this?”

“Because no one…” Lucifer selected all of the images. He tapped on a trash can in the corner of the screen. The images, every last one, disappeared. “…will ever believe you.”

“No!” Satan lunged for the phone in vain. “You sick, twisted, son of a-”

“You got your answer," Lucifer told him. "Get back to work."

[falling-star-cygnus]

y'all ik i haven't been here long, but this came to me and i have to share it -> i have no idea if someone else has already done this :{

Derek: Do you wanna know how I actually hurt my wrist? Stiles: ....yes Derek: I was hula-hooping. Derek: Peter and I attend a class for fitness and for fun. Stiles: oh my god- Derek, pulling out his phone: And I mastered all the moves. The pizza toss, the tornado, the scorpion, the... oopsie-doodle. Stiles: Why are you telling me this? Derek: 🙂 Derek: Because no one... will ever believe you. [He deletes the album] Stiles: No- no nono no-! Stiles: .....youu sick son of a bitch..

[charleemoon]

i can't believe apollo is canonically 5'5. has a flip phone with charms, ringtone is a song he likes by a band he hates. can't swim and doesn't like driving. good at random things, like astrology and hula hooping. keeps mangas in his work desk. used to watch doctor who. only reads the newspaper funnies. doesn't open up, no matter how much he's asked. dedicated to his favorite color. too serious, afraid of being seen as a joke. picked up a stray calico cat and named it calico. calls everyone san/mr/ms except his sister and his best friend. refers to himself as ore, masculine and a little rough. instinctually cleans when he sees a mess. can't control how loud he is. scared of heights. spent two months unemployed because he wouldn't work for someone who broke his trust. cries easily for people he loves. prickly, short-tempered. empathetic and loving. the son of musicians. simple, brown haired and brown eyed. plain. just a guy with passion and intensity and kindness. unwavering, unyielding

[livsoulsecrets]

*Jason shows up to patrol with a broken wrist*

Jason: Do you want to know how I actually broke my wrist?

Tim: yes?

Jason: I was hula hooping. Dick and I attend a class both for fitness and for fun.

Tim: Oh my God.

Jason: I’ve mastered all the moves. *shows pics*

Tim: Why are you telling me this?

Jason: Because no one will ever believe you.

Tim: You sick son of a bitch!

[headcanonthings]

Bruce: Do you want to know how I actually hurt my wrist? Hal: Yes. Bruce: I was hula hooping. Robin is teaching me as a bonding activity. And fun. Hal: Oh my God. Bruce: I’ve mastered all the moves. The pizza toss, the tornado, the scorpion, the oopsie-doodle. Hal: Why are you telling me this? Bruce: Because no one will ever believe you. Hal: You sick son of a bitch.

[shyjusticewarrior]

Jason: Do you wanna know how I actually hurt my wrist?

Tim: ... Yes.

Jason: I was hula hooping. *shows pictures* Rose and I take a class for fitness and fun.

Tim: Why are you telling me this?

Jason: Because... no one will ever believe you. *deletes pictures*

Tim: You sick son of a bitch.

[crazylittlejester]

as much as i love Wars and Time knowing each other from the War of eras and being able to meet each other again, I think their canon relationship has gotta be like Holt and Jake Peralta. Like that one scene where Holt is like “dyou wanna know how I REALLY hurt my wrist?” and then precedes to tell Jake he’s a master at hula hooping and shows Jake pictures of it and Jake is like “haha why are you showing me this” and Holt looks him dead in the eyes and goes “because no one will ever believe you” and then DELETES THE PICTURES and Jake is like “NO!!! NO!!!!! you sick son of a bitch…” is so Time fucking with Wars coded

[sxphr]

Wednesday: Do you want to know how I actually hurt my wrist?

Yoko: Yes.

Wednesday: I was hula hooping. Enid and I attend a fitness class for fun.

Yoko: Oh my god.

Wednesday, showing the photos on her phone: I've mastered all the moves.

Yoko: Why are you telling me this?

Wednesday, deleting the photos: Because no one will ever believe you.

Yoko: You sick son of a bitch.

[incorrectquotesfromthelighthouse]

Taash: Do you want to know how I actually hurt my wrist? Emmrich: Yes. Taash: I was hula-hooping. Harding and I attend a class for fitness and for fun. Emmrich: Oh my Maker. Taash: I've mastered all the moves: the pizza toss, the tornado, the scorpion, the oopsie doodle. Emmrich: Why are you telling me this? Taash: Because no one will ever believe you. Emmrich: You sick son of a bitch-

[incorrectdccomicquotes]

*Batman walks into the Batcave with a cast on his wrist*

Nightwing: Woah, what's with the cast?

Batman: I sprained my wrist.

Oracle: Oh no, what happened?

Batman: Don't worry about it, I'm fine.

Nightwing: Yeah, jeez Oracle, back off. Leave the guy alone.

Nightwing to the rest of the batfamily: So he wouldn't say what happened which can only mean one thing.

Oracle: He's in a fight club.

Nightwing: No. He did it doing something he's embarrassed by, like smiling. Only question is how do you hurt your arm smiling?

Batman: I tripped over an uneven sidewalk. I did not think it was relevant to your jobs, the jobs which you should be all doing right now.

*Later on, Batman goes up to Nightwing when he’s alone*

Batman: Do you wanna know how I actually hurt my wrist?

Nightwing: ...Yes.

Batman: I was hula hooping. Clark and I attend a class for fitness and for fun.

Nightwing: Oh my god.

Batman: I've mastered all the moves. *pulling out his phone and showing Nightwing pictures of himself hula hooping* The pizza toss, the tornado, the scorpion, the oopsie doodle.

Nightwing: ...Why are you telling me this?

Batman: Because no one... will ever believe you. *deletes the pictures from his phone*

Nightwing: No, no!

Batman: >:)

Nightwing: You sick son of a bitch.

[distractaed]

(before they got close)

Andrew: Do you wanna know how I actually hurt my wrist? Neil: Yes. Andrew: I was hula-hooping. Kevin and I attend a class for fitness and for fun. Neil: Oh my god. Andrew: I've mastered all the moves. The pizza toss, the tornado, the scorpion, the oopsie doodle. Neil: Why are you telling me all this? Andrew: Because no one will ever believe you. Neil: You sick son of a bitch.

[winter-wise]

Emmrich: Do you want to know how Rook actually hurt their wrist? Davrin: Yes. Emmrich: They were hula-hooping. Rook, Manfred and I attend a class for fitness and for fun. We've mastered all the moves. The Pizza Toss, the Tornado, the Scorpion, the Oopsie-Doodle. Davrin: Why are you telling me this? Emmrich: Because no-one will ever believe you. Davrin: You sick son of a bitch.