#incorrect wednesday quotes

[mothsaresc4ry]

Wednesday was strutting over the campus, with clenched fists trying to find her girlfriend

Wednesday: *to herself* where is she?

Yoko: yo Addams, are you okay? Who are you looking for?

Wednesday turned around, revealing herself. She was covered in at least 1kg of glitter.

Yoko: *bursts out laughing* what happened?!?!

Wednesday: *her eyes looked like she could murder yoko right then and there* enid's glitter exploded. Have you seen her?

Yoko: I think she's in the library.

Wednesday: *mumbling something to herself* thank you. *walks off, leaving a trail of glitter behind her*

Yoko: *waits until Wednesday is out of sight to return to Enid* she's gone. You can come out now

Enid:

Enid: I'll just stay here. Thank you

Sorry y'all. This one isn't great or smth, I'm not in the creative mindset rn

[achromatophoric]

Wenclair Week - Day 5: Fake Dating

During lunch in the Quad, an accusation is made.

Enid: How did— I mean say whaaaaaat? *nervous giggle* Don’t be silly! Willa and I are totes dating!

Wednesday: Truly. Disbelieve at your own peril.

Bianca: Oh come off it. We know. We all know.

Wednesday: *eyes narrow* Who constitutes all?

Bianca: Show of hands—who knew that these two dorks weren’t really dating?

Hands are raised one by one, until every student and faculty member in the Quad, except for Enid and Wednesday, has a hand up.

Enid: *pales* But how? We were so like—careful!

Bianca: The signs were obvious.

Yoko: Yeah, like whenever you two would kiss. Girlfriends do not kiss like that.

Divina: And your— *air quotes* —promise rings. Like for reals! Those are not promise rings.

Bianca: Not to mention the thing with your names.

Wednesday: What thing with our—

Intercom: Mrs. Addams, please come to the headmistress’s office. She would like a word.

Wednesday/Enid: *stand simultaneously*

Bianca: 🤨

Wednesday/Enid: 😒 🫢

Enid: Oops. Um. Surprise! We kinda sorta got hitched…

Wednesday/Enid: 🤦‍♀️ 😅

Eugene: *whispers to Yoko* It was an awesome ceremony.

Yoko: *outraged* BEE BOY GOT TO GO?!?

[brenshor]

[achromatophoric]

Wednesday: I suppose now there is nothing more you can do to surprise me.

Enid: (Reaches for Wednesday’s elbow and precisely tweaks her funny bone.)

Wednesday: (Reflexively jerks, Stares straight at Enid in mortified accusation.)

Wednesday: What did you do? What did— You can’t do that. You— No. No. You can’t. You. Can’t.

Enid: 😘

[Based on an actual incident. They really did short circuit.]

Wednesday: There's nothing you can do that can still surprise me.

Enid: (Leans over and sticks her tongue in Wednesday's ear.)

Wednesday: (Visibly stiffens, Stares straight ahead with a thousand yard stare)

Wednesday: I stand both corrected and disgusted.

Enid: 😉

[rainbowwonderlandsblog]

Wednesday: What gluttonous cretin decided to help themselves to my food?

Ajax: *points at enid*

Enid: Sorry, I didn't mean to! But I was hungry :(

Wednesday:

Wednesday: Actually, you should eat all of it. You need the energy now that you've wolfed out

Bianca: Whipped!

[prefer-to-be-vilified]

Wednesday: *is being arrested*

Enid: Wow. God forbid women do anything these days.

Sheriff Galpin: Kid your friend-

Wednesday: She’s my girlfriend you intolerant shit.

Thing: H-O-M-O-P-H-O-B-E

Sheriff Galpin: I’m not- whatever, your girlfriend just landed four grown men in the hospital.

Enid: And… She looked good doing it.

Wednesday: They deserved it. One of them told me to smile.

Enid: You tell him baby.

Sheriff Galpin: You know what? I can’t with… whatever this is. She’s free to go and officially your problem.

Enid: Yay!

Wednesday: *pausing mid-escape and casually handing the sheriff broken handcuffs* Miserable-night Sheriff.

Sheriff Galpin: *whispering* I hate you.

Wednesday: *also whispering* I’m glad.

Enid: Hurry up babycakes, I need my cuddle buddy.

Wednesday: *smirking* Coming Amore.

[sxphr]

Enid: You see how my girlfriend makes sure she washes all the blood off of her before she kisses me?

Enid: Very cutesy, very considerate, very demure.

[breawycker]

This is the funniest thing I've ever read

Wednesday: "Enid, where is my sword?"

Enid, distantly: "I uh, I put it away!"

Wednesday: "Where?"

Enid: "Why do you need to know?"

Wednesday: "I need it!"

Enid, entering the room: "Oh no you don't, babycakes. We are GOING to this charity auction."

Wednesday: "Nevermore is in DANGER, Enid!"

Enid: "My EVENING is in danger, Wednesday! You are not fighting any evil reanimated puritans, crazed stalkers, or rabid werewolves today!"

Wednesday: "You tell me where my sword is wolf! We are talking about a genuine danger to outcasts!

Enid: "The only danger you need concern yourself with tonight is ME. Your mother is hosting this auction. We. Are. Going. You'll hug your mother for no less than 10 seconds, and you will buy me something pretty. Now, get your coat."

Wednesday, swordless and fuming: "...yes, dear."

[sharklovingcriminals]

Bianca: ah shit what's that song called?

Wednesday: I shall Shazam it

Yoko:...

Bianca:...

Divina:...

Yoko:... Does she know how to do that???

Enid (head in her hands, smiling and staring adoringly at Wednesday): No, not at all. She's going to write the song out as sheet music, transpose it to a minor key and slow it down, phone her parents and play it on the cello so they can identify it for her.

Yoko: I'll never understand how you two ended up together.

Enid (sighing): I know, me neither, she's just so perfect 💕

Yoko: That could not be further from what I meant.

Bianca: How the fuck did you just say the heart emoji out loud what the fuck

[spungeez]

Yoko, angrily: Bianca called me "Dracula" today at lunch.

Enid: OMG, that's so offensive and problemat-

Yoko: Yeah! Like, Carmilla was written way before Dracula was. She totally missed her chance to make fun of my species and my gayness all at once by being so uncultured!

Wednesday: ...Seriously?

Enid: Yeah, Yoko, I really don't think-

Wednesday: What kind of fool hasn't read Carmilla?

Yoko: I KNOW, RIGHT!?

Enid, quietly: what the fu-

[mothsaresc4ry]

Wednesday: it's dark in here

Enid: don't worry babe, I got this

Enid: *stomps her feet*

Wednesday:

Enid: *her skechers light up*

Wednesday:

[ice-and-fires-blog]

So I did this post back in October 31, thinking I would be able to do a drawing and a story!

Because of my crazy work schedule, as well as other factors that came up during those times, I wouldn't be able to finish this!

I put the finish day for me (to help me to focus on something) as well as because I love giving people stuff, especially on holidays, but like I say before, it's more difficult than I thought!

So now that i say this i would try to finish this before this year ends i know is going to be weird reading and seeing something that was meant to be for christmas but is been super weird months and physically and mentally i havent been my self!

Love- ice&fires

Also a small thanks to @blueisredandredisblue for all the help she has done for me this pass few weeks!

Happy halloween bitches!

This drawing was a commission for @wenclexa4ever . Thank you for letting me do it, as well as for the ideas.

Also, thanks to @blueisredandredisblue for the help you gave me over the past few days.

[achromatophoric]

Hey you. It’s me. It’s also ma birthdee todee 🎉🎂

Can you write me a smexy birthday incorrect wenclair?

Pwetty pwease? Thank yew.

-blueisred

Enid shares one of her favorite smut scenes from a battered romance novel. Wednesday reacts to the writing much as one would expect.

Enid: Hey, I happen to like that line!

Wednesday: *scoffs* That line—no, the entire scene—reeks of fanciful idealization. It is trite and, quite frankly, ridiculous.

Enid: Well, I happen to think it’s hot AF! Someone being driven to the very edge of sanity by unrelenting pleasure? Then being pushed past that?

Enid: *bites lip* Goddess above, just thinking about you losing your mind, not being able to tell red from blue, not even being able to form words?RrrRrowl!

Wednesday: *arches eyebrow* Me, losing my mind?

Enid: *blushes bright* Oh! Gosh, I don’t—I mean I didn’t—

Wednesday: Hush, mi lobita. Consider me intrigued.

Enid: Wh-What?

Wednesday: Why don’t we play out the scene? You may take the opportunity to prove to me that this— *holds up book* —is more than mere droll analogies and farcical dialogue.

Enid: Um…

Wednesday: Or… you can acknowledge that this entire book contains more pulp than the paper it is printed on. *disdainful sniff*

Enid stares at her beloved book as it dangles from pinched fingers, held with the same disdain as one would a rotten banana peel. Then, with eyes hinting gold, she meets her girlfriend’s cool gaze.

Enid: You’re on.

– Some salacious hours later. –

Wednesday: *rasping shriek* R-Red is blue and b-blue is—blue is red! RED IS BLUE AND BLUE IS RED!

Enid: *cheerfully relents* Aw, that’s perf!

Wednesday: *sags in boneless relief*

Enid: Or it would be, if you weren’t still so articulate, babe.

Wednesday: Wh-What?

Enid: Aw. Did you forget? We’re not stopping till your ‘pretty little brain drips out from between your thighs’.

Wednesday:

Wednesday: *whines* B-But that line, it’s—it’s so ludicra— ludocri— ludacru—

Wednesday: *shakes head* I-I mean very stupid.

Enid: 😈

Happy birthday, Blueisredandredisblue!

[writerswho]

Wednesday: Enid texted me “your adorable” so I texted her back and said “no, YOU’RE adorable.”

Eugene: And?

Wednesday: And now we’re dating. We’ve been on six dates. All I did was point out a typo, but I like her, so I’m not gonna say anything.

[harleyquinn-2509]

Watching true crime videos on Enid's bed

Enid: Why do they say footage when it's a video?

Wednesday: Because in the old days, the film was in rolls and measured in feet.

Enid:

Enid:

Enid, giving Wednesday a kiss on the cheek: And that's why I fell in love with you. You're an encyclopedia for my ADHD brain.

Wednesday: You do have many queries.

Wednesday: Daily.

[wednesdayorwhatever]

Enid: I have an excellent gaydar. If someone’s gay, I can always tell within-

Thing: Wednesday’s in love with you

Enid: w h a t