#incorrect wednesday quotes

[achromatophoric]

Yoko: *peers at one of those creepy sculptures with the eyes that follow you around*

Yoko: Ugh. That whole unblinking dead-eyed stare thing is squicking me the fuck out. Don’t you just hate how it feels?

Yoko:

Yoko: *glances over* Enid?

Enid: *has been staring longingly at the unsettling statue*

Enid: *bites lip* I should call her.

Yoko: 🤦‍♀️

[softhanalake]

Wednesday: Honey?

Enid: Yes?

Wednesday: Honey.

Enid: Yes?

Wednesday: HONEY!

Enid: I’M RIGHT HERE!

Wednesday: PASS THE DAMN BOTTLE OF HONEY PLEASE!

Enid grabs it and goes to hand it the raven before pulling it back

Enid: And?

Wednesday: Thank you.

Enid: AND?

Wednesday: *sighs* Thank you…mommy.

[wol-fica]

-Bliss PT 11-

summary - reader would do anything, anything, to protect wednesday…

warnings - punching, blood, nose broken, SAPPY

an - missed wednesday and r, (mostly wednesday), so i thought id get back into bliss before season 2 comes !!

—————————

It was a beautiful Monday afternoon in New Jersey, golden rays of sunlight bathing the mansion floor in a beautiful blanket of bronze. The windows were open to the outside world, a warm breeze flowing through the house and invading the walls with the scent of pine and apple pie.

You were in the kitchen, humming along to one of your favorite songs while you stirred ingredients together to make a sugar glaze. Your pie was in the oven, almost ready to be taken out and admired for how damn talented you were at baking, but it needed a few more minutes to reach perfection. It’s crust was a delicious looking light brown, dusted with a bit of salt for flavor, that covered the mouth watering apple filling that was crafted from your great grandmothers secret recipe.

Your cooking and baking skills were a great blessing, especially since your wife has a bit of a sour tooth when it comes to entrees. You always made sure to craft each dish to the exact perfect condition of what she was craving in that moment, and every time, without fail, she would praise you in her gothic ways about how delicious each meal was.

Speaking of your wife, she was currently typing away on her typewriter in the office, working on a new book series since finishing her last collection. Becoming such a well respected writer had boosted her confidence a lot, which in turn helped open more doors to new plot lines and perspectives of storytelling and imagery for her to explore. You had been her biggest supporter throughout her journey and definitely earned the title of “#1 Wednesday Addams Fan” after showing up to every conference and book signing wearing her face on your shirt.

She scolded you for it every single time.

“Doing okay, babe?” You called out, whisking the icing gently.

The ‘tap tap tap’ of the typewriter abruptly stopped, and the sound of footsteps ranges out softly in the house as your partner approached the kitchen. You turned your head just in time to see her round the corner, your breath catching in the back of your throat from the sight of her.

Wednesday Addams was a glorious view, and just so easy to look at for you even after all these years. Her skin was supple and pale, almost ghostly white from lack of melanin in her cells. Her eyes, black as ever, were filled with a sense of warmth that to others, would be discomforting; to you, it was home. She was dressed in a knee-length black skirt that held her checkered sweater tucked in at her waist, with a thin silver chain hanging loosely from the front of her hip to the back. She had white, shin-length socks on that hugged her calves in such a way that it was almost hypnotic to stare at her. Her hair was in her usual duel braids paired with her beautiful bangs that you loved oh so much, and she wore an expression of admiration on her face when she spotted you.

“Hey you.” You said, setting your whisk down to fully turn to her, “Finished the third chapter yet?”

“Not yet.” Wednesday replied, stepping into your personal space and tilting her face up to you, “I am stuck in the torturous prison of what the people call ‘writers block���.”

You chuckled, taking her chin in your hand and leaning down to kiss her. She stood up on her toes to meet you, her hands resting on your hips while you cupped her jaw. She tasted divine, her lipgloss flavor consisting of black cherries and dark chocolate with a hint of eucalyptus to complement the sweetness.

“Hi.” You murmured to her after pulling away, staring into her dark eyes.

“Hello.” She whispered back, her hands slithering around your waist, “I missed you.”

“We live together.” You teased, smiling when she undid the tie of your apron.

“You have been baking all morning.”

“Could’ve joined me.”

“And suffer with the nauseating effect of home life and domestication? I’d rather be nailed to a post.”

You giggled, moving around her to hang your apron on the pantry door hook before coming back over to the oven to peak at your pie. It seemed to be done, so you grabbed your black mittens and carefully took the hot dish out and placed it on the stove. The aroma of apple hit you like a warm pillow to the face, and you felt your whole body physically relax from the touching smell.

“I hope to get a slice later.” Wednesday said, sliding her hand into yours once you took the mittens off, “It looks divine.”

“I thought Wednesday Addams didn’t like sweet things?” You asked, scrunching your nose at her.

“I like you, isn’t that enough proof?”

You hummed, pressing your lips to her forehead as a loving gesture. The radio sounded light static before Foolish Girl by Marjorie filled the room. Your unoccupied hand slide to rest on your wife’s waist, gently beginning to sway to the music with her. She let her head rest against your chest, her eyes falling shut at the sound of your heartbeat.

“Twenty-five years old and you still dance like you’re fifteen.” You mumbled, smoothing the wrinkles out of her sweater.

“I need to perfect my skills, I just haven’t had the time.” She replied softly, burying her nose into your hoodie, “Fifteen year old me would be devastated.”

“No.” You said, lifting her head and reaching to cup her face, “She would be so proud to see what you have achieved; you’re incredible, baby”

Wednesday blushed, shamelessly letting her eyes run over your features with pure admiration. You both stayed like that for a while, content in swaying in each other’s embrace whilst occasionally sharing little kisses here and there. The moment was perfect, until a sharp knock at the front door startled you.

“Who could that be?” You wondered aloud, knowing you weren’t expecting anyone today.

“A spokesperson maybe.” Wednesday grumbled, turning and heading towards the front door, “I’ll tell them to leave.”

“It’s not like we get solicitors.” You said, knowing it’s a pretty long walk from the road to your front door, “Be nice, please!”

She waved you off, rounding the corner out of sight but not of earshot. You heard the front door open, and a male voice respond to your wife’s question of his presence.

“I’m here for you, actually.” The person said, his words slightly slurred.

“Sorry, not available, please leave.”

“Seem pretty available to me; pretty cute too.”

“Use the word ‘cute’ to describe me again and i’ll remove your finger nails with my pliers.”

“No need to get attitude with me, gorgeous. How about I come inside and we chat a little?”

You tensed up, dropping the plate you were drying onto the counter and briskly walking to the front door. There was a tall man in the entrance, holding the door open with his hand so Wednesday couldn’t shut it on him. He was scruffier looking, his greasy hair long and his wiry beard unkept on his bumpy skin. He had a smirk on his face that was unsettling and gross looking, like something that came out of a shitty thriller from the 60’s or something of the sort.

“Who the fuck are you?” The man drawled out, seeming to size you up when you approached.

“Her wife.” You deadpanned, standing to slightly in front of Wednesday to block him from entering your home, “And I’m pretty sure she asked you to leave.”

He laughed, his breath reeking of scotch and beer when it hit your nose. You recoiled slightly, mistakingly taking a step back in disgust. The man saw that as an opportunity to strike, and shot his hand out to grab Wednesdays arm.

It felt like everything happened in a millisecond; one minute you were pinching your nose to block the smell, the next you were swinging your fist into his face, his nose breaking with a satisfying ‘crack’. He fell backwards onto your concrete front porch, his hand immediately covering his injury. You breathed heavily, your chest heaving up and down from the adrenaline pumping through your veins. Not many things angered you, but if someone ever put their hands on Wednesday, you would see red.

Call it your wifey instinct.

“OW! What the fuck?!” He screamed, cradling his face, “Son of a bitch!”

“Never, ever, touch her again.” You growled, squaring your shoulders to make yourself appear bigger, “Now get the hell off of my property before I call the cops.”

With that you slammed the door once he retreated down your steps and to the street, locking the deadbolt with a grunt of annoyance. Blood coated your knuckles from the impact of the man’s nose breaking, but you could honestly care less as your focus was on the women standing in front of you.

“Are you okay?” You asked, reaching for her arm to make sure she wasn’t scratched or bruised.

“I am fine.” Wednesday reassured, a glint of love in her eyes as she stared at you, “That was the most attractive thing I have ever seen.”

“Wednesday, I just punched a man in the face.”

“And it was divine.” She replied, biting her lip in a teasing way, “The way you spoke to him; impressive.”

You sighed with a smile, wrapping your arms around her and kissing her softly. She responded with leaning into you, titling her head to the side to welcome you in as much as she could.

“I’m glad to have you.” You whispered against her lips, “Truly.”

“I couldn’t agree more.” She whispered back, tugging you forwards with her as she walked backwards.

“The pie is still on the stove.” You reminded her as she began to run her hands down your chest, “Didn’t you want a slice?”

She pulled back from your embrace, nodding in the direction of your shared bedroom. There was a mischievous glint in her eyes, a small smirk coming to her face.

“I can think of something sweeter to eat.”

—————————

🫦

taglist: @cartierdreamx @tundra1029 @red1culous @vorsdany @andsoigotabutterfly @theafterofnevermore @yomomisgay @house-of-lovin @dunohilly @somekindofpoet @alexkolax @cinffy23 @pedrosprincess0 @amberfreemansburntface @myfturn

[novixt]

Wednesday: ¿De dónde sacaste ese artilugio del infierno?

Enid: ¿Te gusta? ¡Estaba en oferta!

Wednesday, acercándose de manera peligrosa con un encendedor en la mano: ¿Vas a hacerme vudú?

Enid: No sé, ¿tu sientes algo cuando hago esto?

Enid abraza el peluche y le da un besito en la frente, pero esquiva a tiempo una daga lanzada por Wednesday que atraviesa la cabeza de la muñeca y la clava en la pared.

Enid: ¡Oye!

Wednesday: Creo que funcionó, porque sentí mucha envidia justo ahora.

Enid, amenazándola con sus garras: ¡Arréglalo! Y pobre de ti que ya no baile ¡tu la reemplazarás si no funciona

[brenshor]

[spungeez]

Enid: What in the actual hell is wrong with you!?

Wednesday: ...

Wednesday: *pulls out ridiculously long and color coded list*

Wednesday: I've been waiting my entire life for somebody to ask me that question, mi amor.

~~~~

Yoko: really?! That's how you two started dating?!

Enid: You didn't see the way she smiled when she got to the pyromania section! What else was I meant to do?!

Yoko: Call the police?!

[rainbowwonderlandsblog]

Wednesday: What gluttonous cretin decided to help themselves to my food?

Ajax: *points at enid*

Enid: Sorry, I didn't mean to! But I was hungry :(

Wednesday:

Wednesday: Actually, you should eat all of it. You need the energy now that you've wolfed out

Bianca: Whipped!

[mothsaresc4ry]

Wednesday: it's dark in here

Enid: don't worry babe, I got this

Enid: *stomps her feet*

Wednesday:

Enid: *her skechers light up*

Wednesday:

[sharklovingcriminals]

Yoko: hey Enid, I know how hard thid is but we're going to have to move away from the coffin at some point

Enid: No I'll just wait here

Divina: Enid, it uh, it really seems like you haven't accepted what's happened and... listen, I don't want to be the bearer of bad news but, Wednesday's gone.

Enid: She'll come back. She told me she'd come back, she said "Enid, I shall come back", so like, just wait til she comes back.

Yoko (sighing): right sure

Yoko: I think that we shou- OH MY GOD WEDNESDAY WHAT THE FUCK

Wednesday (brushing splinters of coffin from her shoulders): I have come back

Yoko: WELL FUCK ME THEN, I GUESS

[graveyardshiftcryptid]

Wednesday: "Enid, where is my sword?"

Enid, distantly: "I uh, I put it away!"

Wednesday: "Where?"

Enid: "Why do you need to know?"

Wednesday: "I need it!"

Enid, entering the room: "Oh no you don't, babycakes. We are GOING to this charity auction."

Wednesday: "Nevermore is in DANGER, Enid!"

Enid: "My EVENING is in danger, Wednesday! You are not fighting any evil reanimated puritans, crazed stalkers, or rabid werewolves today!"

Wednesday: "You tell me where my sword is wolf! We are talking about a genuine danger to outcasts!

Enid: "The only danger you need concern yourself with tonight is ME. Your mother is hosting this auction. We. Are. Going. You'll hug your mother for no less than 10 seconds, and you will buy me something pretty. Now, get your coat."

Wednesday, swordless and fuming: "...yes, dear."

[harleyquinn-2509]

Yoko: You're going to be such a great dad.

Wednesday, looking at her confused: No, I will be a mother.

Yoko: No, you have dad vibes.

Wednesday: How so?

Yoko: Well you do everything your wife says, when in company you stay quiet, you'll be dropping dad lore like crazy.

Wednesday: Dad lore?

Yoko: Yeah, you're just going to have dinner one day and you'll tell your teenage kids how you killed an undead pilgrim with a sword at 16.

Wednesday: ...

Enid: Oh em gee Willa! You're going to be such a great dad! 🤭

[achromatophoric]

Enid: CRAP! SHIT! DANGIT!

Enid: If we don’t get ahead of the competition, we’re gonna lose the Poe Cup!

Wednesday: Leave this to me. *storms off*

Yoko: *watches Wednesday do her thing*

Yoko: 🤨

Yoko: 😨

Yoko: Is that goddamn portable guillotine?

Enid: Eh. Prolly.

Yoko:

Yoko: Bitch, aren’t you gonna STOP her?

Enid: 😒

Yoko: 😠

Enid: *throws up her hands* Okay, FINE–uh!

Enid: *shouts* Babe! I meant AHEAD, not A HEAD! That means YES MAIM, NO MURDER!

Distant Wednesday: 🥺

[softhanalake]

Wednesday: Grilled cheese? At 2am?

Enid: I’m hungry!

Wednesday: How hungry can you be-

Wednesday and Enid eat grilled cheese together at 2:30am

Wednesday: How many different types cheese are in this?

Enid: Four.

Wednesday: Make it five next time.

[sxphr]

Enid: You see how my girlfriend makes sure she washes all the blood off of her before she kisses me?

Enid: Very cutesy, very considerate, very demure.

[sorcererofsolitude]

Enid: Howdy, girlies! Guess what? I got this new stuffed animal! What should I name it?

Wednesday: s o u p s p o o n

Enid: Um, absolutely not! Pick something nicer.

Wednesday: s p a t u l a

Enid: I don't thi-

Wednesday: w h e a t g e r m

Enid, pursing her lips: Looks like you're on naming duty, Fangs!

Yoko, t-posing and staring up at the ceiling:

M O I S T C O T T O N B A L L

Enid: ...You know, I used to think you two were opposites, but now I know you're on opposite sides of THE SAME CRAZY COIN!

Silence.

Divina, timidly: I think Pistachio is a nice name...

Enid, lighting up: See?? That's why Divina always gets to name my stuffed animals.

Yoko, shaking her head: The system is rigged.

AO3: SorcererOfSolitude

[brenshor]