gardentool

[gardentool]

Yuji: I'm using my veto.

Megumi: Veto? You don't get a veto.

Yuji: You veto my ideas all the time.

Megumi: That's because your ideas are dumb!

Yuji: Name one!

[One hour later]

Yuji: That went on for a while.

Megumi: And let's not forget shower snacks!

Yuji: I can't be the only one who gets hungry in there!

[gardentool]

Nobara: Hello, Fushiguro.

Yuji: Just to warn you, if you go in for a hug, Fushiguro will try to kiss you.

Nobara: My god, I leave you alone for five minutes.

Yuji: It’s like being attacked by an ironing board.

Megumi: If I had intended to kiss you, I’d have put on some chapstick first.

[gardentool]

Megumi: Why are you making pancakes? We just ordered take out.

Yuji: I'm making them for the dogs.

Megumi: Why are you making pancakes for the dogs?

Yuji: Because they don't know how!

[gardentool]

Megumi: Can I say a bad word? CAN I SAY A BAD WORD?!

Gojo: Yeah.

Megumi, to Geto: YOU MOTHERFUCKING BITCH!.

[gardentool]

[Eating fortune cookies]

Nanami: What does your fortune say? “You will become a fortune”.

6yo Yuji: …

Yuji: :O

Yuji: :(

Yuji: I don’t wanna become a cookie!

[gardentool]

Gojo: My son was excited to read that book to me at bedtime.

Nanami: And why are you going to sleep before your son?

Gojo: I am sleepy.

[gardentool]

Gojo: When your kids were small, did you ever... I dunno, smack their heads into a wall?

Geto: Usually I just gave time-outs.

[gardentool]

Geto: *Whispers something into Gojo’s ear and walks away*

Yuta: Oh my god... What did he just say to you? That, if we don't give him what he wants, he’ll kill you?

Gojo: Worse.

Gojo: He mumbled and I didn’t hear it.

[gardentool]

[Gojo & Y/N’s daughter standing in a corner]

Y/N: Don’t move from there. You’re in time out.

[A wild Gojo appears]

Gojo: Mommy put you in time out?

Daughter: Yes.

Gojo: Nobody puts my girl in time out. I’m gonna talk to her.

[Gojo and his daughter standing in the corner]

Gojo: How much time she give you?

Daughter: 20 minutes.

Gojo: 20 minutes? She gave me an hour!

[gardentool]

Nanami: I don’t want you getting involved with Sorcerer business anymore. If something happens, report it and leave it to us.

Y/N: Fine. When should I hand in my badge and gun?

Nanami: When did you get a badge and gun?!

[gardentool]

cvnty goge birds

[gardentool]

winter days

besties

[gardentool]

megumi babysitting ( ˶ˆᗜˆ˵ )

[gardentool]

Geto: Um... sory for hooking up with Y/N last night. 

Gojo: …

Geto: Actually I take that back. You droppped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. We're even. 

[gardentool]

Y/N: At what point should I just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?

Geto: ..

Shoko: …

Utahime: …

Nanami: Never.

Gojo: >:(

[gardentool]

Gojo: It was a mass text, I'm sorry.

Nanami: …

Geto: …

Shoko: …

Utahime: …

Ijichi (for some reason): …

Nanami: Do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text? 

[gardentool]

Megumi: Hey, bro, what do you wanna eat?

Sukuna, appearing on Itadori’s face: The souls of the innocent.

Itadori: A bagel.

Sukuna: Noooo!

Itadori: Two bagel