#I'm fine it's just the npd

[cold--carnage]

brief pause to have a mental breakdown

[milfronin]

.

[necrobab3]

ugh I'm on my period. someone please shoot me in the head

[daffythefox]

those small jokes and jabs some people will make at you when you’re friends with them like. they just wear me down so much. like I could have a face up for multiple hours and be relatively fine and then they could start doing that (like. I mess up slightly and they make a joke at my expense, or someone points out something I’m sensitive about for a joke, or someone makes a joke where the punchline is “hey you seem like you’re barely holding in your emotions) all of a sudden it’s nine times the work to be out and social without acting like a total dick (shooting back with something that plays on their insecurities as well so they sill stop pressing me) or having to leave because I’m about to break down, which is incredibly embarrassing and makes me feel like I’m just making a show so other people will feel guilty (not that I’m worried they will feel guilty, I’m worried they will think I will want them to feel guilty and that they will see me as lesser for that instead). “get something you’re fine with people joking about so they will make jokes about that and it won’t hit you as hard” why are you entitled to being able to make jokes at my expense? maybe I don’t want you to make fun of me at all!

[ablednt]

NPD BPD combo will make you feel like a starving wild circus animal every time you remember other people exist

[agave]

remembering why I stopped interacting with teenagers for a while tbh

[bloodheartz]

gimmw your gfalls hcs NOEWWW

oh god! I have soooo many but i'll put some basic ones down for the pines family rn and probably add on to this later ^_^

Dipper

◇ First of all this boy is absolutely autistic. My little autistic ass acted so much like him as a kid, I mean, what autistic 12 year old wouldn't base their entire summer around a weird book full of monsters they found?

◇ I think he's a trans dude and aro/ace, and that his crush on Wendy was more comphet than anything. I'm not really a fan of any ship involving him but I think platonic dipcifica could be cute.

◇ Cryptozoology/The Paranormal is absolutely his main special interest, but he also has an sp/in in computers/comp sci (but he's honestly not great at computer stuff).

Mabel

◇ AuDHD Queen! I think her main special interest is absolutely arts / crafts, I mean look at all the silly things she makes throughout the series as well as her dedication to handmaking dozens of puppets/props/etc as well as writing and entire play to impress her crush of the week in Sock Opera. ◇ I think sexuality wise she's not straight but prefers to be unlabelled. I also like to think she's the type to collect xenogenders / neopronouns like pokemon cards. ( she totally uses a bunch of cat-based pronouns) ◇ Shortly after the series I think she'd get a little less Boys-Crazy and focus more exploring who she is as a person / her self expression. Absolutely is gonna have a mall goth/emo/scene phase (she's smushing all three of those together into one thing for herself).

(I also think Mabel and Dipper were born identical twins)

Grunkle Stan

◇ Also AuDHD, not quite sure what his big main special interest would be but he's absolutely hyperfixated on Ducktective. Also going off the story in Lost Legends I think he'd absolutely be getting into making comics / drawing in general (even if hes not great at it). Post series I think he'd spend a lot of his free time out at sea drawing in the boat's cabin. Mostly making comics of silly re-tellings of he and Ford's adventures out at Sea (he absolutely shows Dipper and Mabel these if he and Ford video calls them when they're on land) ◇ I'm a transfem Stanley truther. He doesn't really realize/come to terms with it until post-series. I think she'd just grow out her hair and throw it in a pony-tail + use she/he pronouns to transition. She'd still use the name Stanley and be fine with both masc/fem terms (ie fine be called a man or a woman). Also he's bisexual (but has known this since he was like a teen, even if he didn't have the words to label it.) ◇ I think his Popsicle addiction from the unaired pilot is real and canon. Old autistic men love popsicles just look at my dad and grandfather.

Ford

◇ oh boy its projection time (i am a stanford pines fictive) 😈😈😈

◇ Transmasc, somewhere under the nonbinary umbrella but very guy adjacent. Mainly uses he/him pronouns but I think he'd use "it" and "they" aswell. Gay and Arospec as well. ◇ Autism + NPD + Schizophrenia wombo combo. He's sooooo NPD coded its INSANE, I am going to write an essay about it in the future. Goes without saying that his special interests are the paranormal and various sciences, but I think he has a hardcore love for the arts as well. ◇ Going off both the autism and arospec HC- I think he's the type to convince himself he has a crush very easily, when in reality he just has a strong admiration / platonic love for those in question, and had strong platonic feelings for McGucket back in college that he confused for romantic ones (projecting 100000000%) (i think the Stan twins were fraternal twins)

[gabrielsbubblegumbitch]

Hey! Hope you’re having a good day! Just wanted to say I’ve become obsessed with your psychology analysis on the Vees and VoxVal. I’m curious, since the relationship is definitely toxic, how do you think the cycle of relationship abuse would work with them? (Honeymoon phase, tension, incident, ex)

Awww I'm so glad you like my silly headcanons, I fucking love writing them <3

(headcanons in question because they are relevant to this post: Vox and NPD | Valentino and BPD | random Vees headcanons)

You know, I believe their relationship is toxic because neither of them is particularly well-adjusted. However, I wouldn't apply the cycle of abuse theory to them. As far as I know, that theory is used to describe relationships that are highly unequal with clearly defined roles of abuser and victim. For instance, during the tension phase, tension grows in the abuser while the victim "walks on eggshells," trying their best to calm the abuser and constantly living in fear of an incident. I can't really imagine Vox or Valentino being that frightened of each other. Actually, that's why I think they are meant to be together - they can handle each other.

That being said, I do believe they have some relationship issues. In episode 2, we witnessed Vox calming Valentino (by yelling at him so very toxic) when he was angry. Vox hates Valentino's unpredictability because he is a total control freak. While he finds Valentino's fiery temper extremely alluring, he also wishes Val would tone it down. He'd like to have a more reliable partner, especially because for him, falling in love was a significant and risky investment.

On the flip side, immediately after Vox managed to calm Valentino down, Valentino essentially provoked him into a temper tantrum. Look at this shit-eating smile; he knew damn well what he was doing.

Vox usually keeps his emotions hidden behind a polished facade, staying detached. Valentino, on the other hand, is all about intense emotions—loves passion, violence, and desperation. He digs Vox's cool business daddy vibe, but it drives him nuts when Vox gets all emotionally distant from him. Vox tries to guard himself because he knows Valentino can easily weaponize people's emotions against them, and he's lowkey scared of being vulnerable. So when he's going through some tough shit, Vox puts up this wall, becomes all distant, and then Valentino feels rejected and starts being a total jerk, pushing Vox away because he's hurting (if you've read my BPD Valentino headcanons, you get what I mean).

So those are the main sources of tension in their relationship. Sometimes one of them snaps. In Vox's case, it means complete withdrawal from the relationship and sinking into work (since he wants a perfect relationship, he rarely even admits he's angry, he's just like "It's fine I just don't have time to see you") which obviously drives Val crazy. Because he's obsessively in love. So to fix the situation he doesn't apologize (since Vox "wasn't even angry") - he just invites himself to Vox's apartment/office and seduces him by acting nice and submissive so Vox can feel in control again.

In Valentino's case, snapping means a violent outburst (though, I don't think he's physically abusive because he knows Vox is not afraid of him and could easily bite back or, even worse, leave him for good). These outbursts make Vox furious because he can't stop them. Then, they end up yelling a lot, throwing stuff around, and sometimes even breaking up. After that, Valentino goes on a week-long bender, just partying and hooking up with dozens of people. Vox, being obsessed, watches everything, and his jealousy always gets the best of him. He finally breaks and sends someone to bring Val back home. Or he personally intervenes, kills whoever Val is fucking, gives him a giant bouquet of roses, and goes all out to prove that he's the best guy Val could ever have. Vox is a showman, so he acts almost like a charming and obnoxiously rich mafia boss from a smutty novel, who wants nothing more than to please his princess with grand gestures.

Oh also I think Val is very sensitive about Vox treating him "like a woman." He's actually very secure in his masculinity; he feels comfortable enough to present himself in feminine ways while still acting masculine. Like I mentioned, he's queer and he totally owns it. On the other hand, Vox still grapples with some deeply internalized heteronormative ideas, occasionally treating Valentino like his bitch. Valentino hates it because he's aware of Vox's sexist tendencies, and he refuses to allow Vox to treat him as though he's beneath him. He genuinely believes in the concept of an equal partnership in their relationship and can't stand Vox's attempts to alter the power dynamics in his favor.

If you like this post you may also like my VoxVal fanfiction

[clusterlgbt]

Honestly, I don't think there's anything wrong whatsoever with not feeling "negative" emotions such as grief, guilt, etc. What matters is how you DEAL with the situation, not how you FEEL about it.

For people with ASPD, SZPD, autism, certain psychotic disorders, NPD -- pretty much any disorder that may cause low empathy or flat affect -- it's just a fact of life we don't always (or ever) feel those emotions. (And of course there's way more disorders and symptoms than the ones I just listed, and of course some people who DO have those disorders CAN feel said emotions!)

If you hurt someone and don't regret it, that by itself does not make you a bad person. In fact, if you hurt someone, and want to amend the situation and not hurt that person again IN SPITE OF not feeling guilt? That's amazing. That's amazing and, in my opinion, very selfless.

If you don't feel grief after a loved one dies it doesn't mean you're an awful person who never valued them. As long as you stand by the people who DO feel grief, and offer them comfort or space or whatever, then it's fine that you don't feel it, because you're still being compassionate to those who do.

Honestly even if you feel annoyed or irritated or what have you at the people who are hurting, even that isn't anything shameful, because again it's about what you do, not about how you feel.

Maybe I'm just making defenses for my own ASPD self, but it really doesn't seem like a problem to me. Feelings are private, after all, actions and reactions are what's public, so it matters how you treat others, not how you feel about said others.

Statements like this might make empaths uncomfortable but I stand by it. No one is a bad person just for the way that they "feel", not to mention that a lack of remorse/guilt/sadness/etc is itself a symptom of many disorders and a common trauma response.

[zeros-sys]

I'm being so serious when I say that it's okay to say doubles dni or be uncomfortable interacting with people with the same source as you

there's a lot of reasons people might feel this way from having delusions, extreme dissociation, having npd, being schizospec, etc.

it's fine to be critical of the word double or be personally uncomfortable with being seen as someone's double, but I feel like a lot of systems are demonising a boundary I've seen very often used by schizophrenic/delusional systems

not to mention that no one is really being hurt by being told to not interact to make another system comfortable. it's genuinely not worth triggering a fellow disabled system just because you don't like their boundary.

by saying that having this boundary is bad or that systems should just "get over it" is essentially telling introjects to source seperate which is both weird and not possible for some systems, especially when they're delusional*

just move on.

*I know people may consider it "anti recovery" as well but another system's recovery is honestly not your business to judge or dictate when it doesn't hurt anyone and you don't know how that system works

(also this whole post only applies to personal accounts. saying doubles dni in syscord servers/community spaces is not okay because you're excluding systems when you're supposed to include them)

I've seen many delusional, schizophrenic, and/or paranoid systems talk about this but no one really seems to listen to you guys

[narcissisticpdcultureis]

blog info

- always remember to start off your ask with some variation of "npd culture is..." ("npd system culture is..." "npd + bpd culture is..." ect ect).

- people who don't have npd but do have npd traits are welcome to send in submissions.

- this blog is run by one mod and isn't looking for others.

- i open this blog to be a place where egotypicals can learn about the experiences of pwnpd, but urge them to remember this blog will be mostly unfiltered and show the more unpleasant side of mental illness and trauma. if you cannot respect or handle that, leave.

- if you'd like to claim a sign off, refer to this sheet.

- the queue can be long, it may take some time to get to your submission. please be patient with me. i also reserve the right to not post certain things for whatever reason.

- there's also a polish version of this blog: @bycie-narcyzem-to. i don't run that blog. it's been inactive for some time as well.

byf

-this blog doesn't have a set dni anymore other than basic criteria, [pd] abuse believers, and transnpd/supporters, but i will block freely.

- i do not want to hear about your abusive relatives with npd, even if you put "but i don't think all pwnpd are abusive!" after it.

- please don't ask me for advice. i'm fine with people asking questions about npd itself, but i may not always answer. keep in mind i'm not a professional, i'm not the end all of information on npd, and it is entirely possible for me to accidentally spread misinformation. if you sent a question that never got answered it's likely i just didn't feel equipped to answer it myself.

-i don't relate to, agree with, or condone the actions of every single submission i post.

notable tags

- info

- resources

- admin lore

- media ; for character who have npd or npd headcanons

- song reccs ; for songs about npd or have npd vibes

- point and laugh at the ableist ; for any hate i decide to respond to, block if you'd like to avoid that

- ableist creators ; for creators who are anti-npd or use stigmatizing language (this is not inherently to "cancel" anyone, i simply believe pwnpd deserve to be warned ahead of time if a creator uses ableist language.)

- supportive creators ; for creators who have explicitly spoken out against anti-npd ableism and shown genuine support for people with npd (people who simply have never spoken on the topic typically do not fall under this tag as there's no way to tell their actual stance)

about the admin ( @doomsdayradio )

- poker, chorus, fate

- genderqueer, they/he + lyr/lyric

- myrrose mspec gaybian

- audhd polyfrag did systsm

- cluster abc

[npdmonoma]

No amount of rational arguments are going to sway narcissistic abuse believers, because their beliefs aren't logical to begin with. They're emotional. Their abuse wasn't taken seriously, they weren't protected, they weren't treated with kindness, and that's devastating. I won't downplay that, because I know exactly what it feels like and it's torture.

But they're still wrong, and that matters.

To them, belief in narcissistic abuse serves two functions. The first is that it legitimizes their pain. If they can position their abuser as somehow worse than "normal" abusers, they can garner more sympathy. It's an understandable impulse, and one that I ironically heavily relate to as a narcissist. But I also know that just because something feels good to me emotionally, that doesn't necessarily mean it's okay for me to do. If I have to hurt others, then I need to find another way to get that validation. This is literally a skill I'm learning to cope with my NPD.

The second function it serves is to give them a sense of safety. If all the Bad People are easily identified by a checklist of narcissistic traits, then they can easily spot any potential abuser and escape further abuse. But it doesn't really work like that. Not only do they end up targeting a ton of people who aren't abusers, they also leave themselves open to abuse from people who don't fit their idea of narcissism. It's a lose/lose situation.

Ultimately, the emotional needs underlying the belief in narcissistic abuse need to be addressed so these people can get rid of these toxic beliefs and become better people. They need to do a lot of work on themselves, but they also need support systems that can give them the validation and comfort and safety they crave without having to hurt others to get it. If that sounds familiar, it should. It's the kinder version of what everyone keeps demanding from us narcissists.

If you're a narcissistic abuse believer and you've read this far, this post probably didn't make you feel very good. Maybe it made you angry, or made you doubt yourself, or even triggered you. If that's the case, you probably aren't ready to listen to me right now. That's fine, I get it. But once you've calmed down, you won't have any more excuses. Come back and read it again. Think about it. Internalize it. And then you need to fix your shit, because I can't do it for you

[saey707]

*heavy breathing* pls, feed my thirst with a little heartsteel kayn pls I need him -I-I need to read some yandere heartsteel kayn *coughs* I can't breath I need him to be angry at me for his own feelings omg omg I need it I need the water

✿ Prompt: Kayn is a toxic boyfriend ✿

♡ champion focus: kayn ♡ tw: npd, yandere ♡ Gender-neutral reader

Author's Note: Your request made me laugh so hard that I had to respond as soon as possible LOLOL ૮꒰⸝⸝> ̫ <⸝⸝꒱ა I'm always down for writing toxic yandere boys! So let's get into Kayn ٩(ˊᗜˋ*)و ♡ Enjoy!

Most days, you couldn't help but feel like you were trapped in a relationship with Kayn. Yes, you loved him, hell you even accepted him the way he was... But really, that was only because you feared what he could if you did try to speak up.

The warning signs were always there- People constantly reminding you... no, warning you that Kayn was toxic. But, you chose to ignore them. You wanted to believe there was some degree of good inside of Kayn. You wanted to love him like no one did before. You tried to convince yourself that you could even change him!

However, seeing Kayn in all his selfish, narcissistic colors made you realize far too late that you were stuck with him... and Kayn loved the power he had over you.

He loved having control over your shared relationship and felt like he could do as he pleased whenever he pleased. Time and time again Kayn would exercise unscrupulous control and influence over you. And you let him.

The control issues Kayn harbored at the beginning of your relationship were small. So much so, that you believed he was just obsessive-compulsive. He spoke devilish whispers that persuaded you to do things you would never do. He had you wrapped around his finger. He had you in his possession. His trap.

And as the devil's web unwound, it was only a matter of time before he was only just beginning to control every aspect of your life, from deciding what you wore out to events together to who you spoke to.

"I saw Aphelios looking at you the other day. You shouldn't trust him. You never know what the intentions of the quiet ones are..."

"I heard what Yone said to you the other day. You shouldn't listen to him... He has no idea how happy we are together!"

"I don't want you talking to Ezreal anymore!"

While the rest of the band felt it was wrong to enable Kayn, they kept quiet. They kept their distance when you all were alone. Because Kayn knew as much about them as he knew about you. And Kayn wasn't afraid to abuse the information he knew he sabotage all of them if they crossed him and his relationship.

The only sigh of relief you ever had was when the group performed interviews out of the country. Even though you could tag along, you chose not to. You made the excuse that you had work, and that saved you every time. Work was the only thing you had in your life that gave you some sense of control. Kayn couldn't take that away from you... yet, at least.

"Why aren't you texting me back? Are you listening to me?!" "Answer right now!!" "You're seriously going to put your phone on mute this long?! Who the hell do you think you are?!!" "Fine then. You did this to yourself. Keep that in mind." "LMAO" "When I get back you better hope that I'm fucking happy!!"

And he made sure to let the world know how frustrated he was.

"So Kayn, how is your relationship with your partner? You both are still together right?!" The interviewer happily questioned, your boyfriend playing the part, showing off that devilishly smug smile in front of his awestruck audience.

It made you feel sick to your stomach. It made you dread what he was about to say and what he could say.

"Oh, we are! Things between us are better than ever. We're both so happy..." His smile fell. "But..." He began to brood, looking off to the side for a moment. The audience ate up his vulnerability.

"They get so busy with work sometimes. I just wish they could respond to me sooner! Babe, if you're watching this, answer me!! Ahahaha!!" His smile returned, the others trying to hide their discomfort with joyful laughter.

"Well, I'm sure they'll be happy to see you when you get back Kayn. Don't be so discouraged!" The interviewer reassured him, Kayn rubbing the back of his neck, staring forward at the camera. Staring forward at you.

That was the telltale sign: That you were absolutely, most positively, fucked.

[artemx746]

(Just copying this from my frustrated-with-the-pjo-fandom induced ramblings on the ta server + al lot more more shit than I expected to write)

I think the main pjo fandom has such a misunderstanding of why Alison might be bad for the show

It's not because she's a new character, I honestly think a new character could be good for the show, but it's because the pjo show team has already shown a fundamental misunderstanding of what pjato should be at its core (that being disability). Alison will most likely only prove what we already knew: that being the show not actually knowing what to do with pjo

Gonna be straight up here, I don't think any of these arguments against Alison are really about the fact she's a new character, season one had plenty of changes that a lot of people were fine with despite them not really making sense (why was Annabeth there for Luke's betrayal). They're because she's a new ta character and that'll either lead to the fandom confronting the fact that they've had a bias against the ta characters for literally no reason (Percy destroyed a bridge and blew up a boat, chb also had child soldiers) or their deep rooted sexism against barely morally gray women without stripping them of their agency.* The only fear I kinda get is that Alison will end up replacing one of the ta characters but unless you're a diehard Kelli fan I don't think there's really much to worry about, I'm not saying she'll replace Kelli as a Luke love interest but rather an 'evil bossy woman' type so they don't need to animate Kelli's hair.

The only thing I'm worried about is the lack of disability. I've rambled about this before on the ta server** but Alison is most likely going to be a child of a minor god, and while I do want more minor god kids, the minor god's kids represent a very important part of the disability metaphor, that being disability hierarchies specifically being detrimental against people with physical disabilities and people with stigmatised mental illnesses (npd bpd schizophrenia etc) . Alison has an open casting, and while that would usually be fine for any other character I doubt they'll cast someone with a physical disability and I highly doubt they'll cast someone with a stigmatised mental illness. So you either have: an abled bodied person acting like they have a disability OR a ruined metaphor and Ethan's eye was lost for nothing.

Ta server ramblings under the cut

*Me: considering how this fandom treats women I do not wanna see them if Alison is in the book. They can't handle Silena without stripping her down to "UwU poor manipulated girl" I do not wanna see them with Alison

making it out that Silena was just in love with Luke and he manipulated her is a) reaffirming the sexist stuff about aphrodite kids and b) robs Silena of her agency to make decisions that she ends up regretting

**Me: Honestly hate when people act like it was just Percy who got the minor gods cabins, buddy did the metaphor go over your That Much. The reason it had to be Percy was because he represents people who already have resources speaking out for those who don’t because they’re more respected. That applies to both Percy and Luke. Percy was not the reason for it it was Ethan,

There is a Reason why Ethan was the first named demigod child of a minor god and he had a physical disability, it has a mythic reason like all of the others but it is still a disability. Ethan represents the metaphor in the minor god demis, that being hierarchies in disabled communities

(this is another reason why I'm scared for Alison in s2 because she's probably going to be a child of a minor god)

what I'm really worried about is they either: make Alison physically disabled and kill her off (killing off all* your physically disabled characters rick how fun)

OR

make her able bodied and the metaphor is lost unless they explicitly say she has another stigmatised mental disability which they will not

*I don't count the kid from toa since he's a background character mentoned once and hephaestus was pretty much disabled in the myths so not rick's

okay end of ramblings jesus christ

[blindbeta]

Hello, I hope you are well. The main character of a book I'm writing is blind and I want to make sure I'm not being disrespectful.

He's had both retinopathy of prematurity (stage one) and recurring glaucoma that have left him with 20/200 vision, photosensitivity, and trouble processing visual information. He can see pretty well for a range of around six feet, eight if he really focuses (which he rarely does because doing it too much will give him a massive headache and exhaust him.) He doesn't have a cane, as he's spent his entire life in the house (long story short, he's adopted and his birth parents kind of want him dead) and he doesn't need it when he already knows where all of the obstacles are, but he does have a guide dog (she's mostly for his mobility issues and physical disability, but she can also do guide dog stuff.) When the story begins and he has to leave home and go into an unfamiliar situation (boarding school when he used to be homeschooled,) he couldn't bring his dog with him and didn't know a cane was an option, so one of his friends, the only one who already knew he was blind, has been subtly guiding him. He hides his blindness at first, not sure if revealing the information could put him in danger, but eventually the other characters find out. They do initially get kind of protective, but they quickly find out to not do that because if they tell him he can't do something, he'll do it anyway just to prove them wrong. He really wants to be independent and hates it when people assume they know his limits better than he does and they try to tell him what he can and can't do despite his objections.

(The character also has Williams Syndrome, epilepsy, intellectual disability, PTSD, IED, and a major injury that renders one of his legs near useless. He uses a modified cane in place of his leg as a weight-bearing limb because working with crutches wasn't possible with old breaks in his arms.)

He's transgender and in a relationship with three other characters (all aware of each other and all fine with polyamory,) two guys and a girl. One of the guys has some trauma-sourced physical disability, CPTSD, and kleptomania, and the girl has NPD and CPTSD. They all love each other very much and all put in the effort to make their relationship work. He also has two sisters who are also blind (all three of them were premature and the glaucoma is genetic,) one who's completely blind and one who has a little bit of light vision, and there are a few other blind and low-vision characters.

Here's the problem, it's his magic. I kind of added in the blind detail after deciding his magic, and I'm worried it could accidentally count as erasing. He can shapeshift like his older sister, but neither of them use it to fix their eyes because it's a massively complicated change and because they've been blind their entire lives and their brains wouldn't really know what to do with enhanced vision. And then he has an energy ability. He's always been scared of the energy ability because he nearly killed his adopted dad with it, but one of the other characters, not knowing he's blind, recommended trapeze to help him get used to using it, because he can sense things through sensing the kinetic energy. This is only used to help him get used to his power and he only uses it for trapeze (he saw it and fell in love with it before anyone could tell him not to. With a bit of adaptive technology for his leg and small, humming sound devices, each at a different pitch, on every trapeze platform, he actually does really well at it,) but does it count as negating his blindness? He can't really see with it, it's closer to hearing a projectile coming close but not being able to hear exactly how far away it is.

(These are more minor details, but there are also other details in the story about his blindness- his adopted parents got him a Braille printer and translated a few books for him, and then his younger sibling decided he liked typing on the Braille printer and started translating a bunch, so he knows how to read Braille and has a massive collection of Braille books because they're easier for him to read. He also uses voice-to-text and text-to-voice on his phone and laptop. One of his friends gets him a bunch of talking technology, like a clock that tells him the time when he presses a button, and some things like oven rack covers and colour-coded kitchen utensils, and another friend takes notes for him using those 3D ink pens so that he can easily translate them to Braille and have his own notes to study.)

Thank you for running your blog, your posts have been a great help

Photophobia, Service Dog for Someone Who Can’t Leave Home, Multiple Disabilities, Choosing Accommodations and Assistive Technology, Giving Gifts to a Blind Person, and General Blindness Stuff

This post is a big one. If you are not the asker, feel free to use the big text titles to explored the subjects that interest you. Additionally, please forgive any lingering typos in this post. I did my best to address them all, however they may still occur due to the length of this post.

-

I tried to address as much as I could in your ask. Please let me know if you have more questions.

Photophobia, Health Care, and General Advice for Writing About Blindness

I can see how staying in the house all the time might lead to an even bigger increase in photophobia when venturing outside. Even if he has a backyard he can use safely, I imagine being in the outside world regularly would exacerbate his photophobia. If you plan to give him sunglasses, be sure to connect them to the photophobia and have him remove them on occasion, such as when indoors. This post might be relevant.

I’m assuming he has access to reliable medical care, considering all his conditions. Blindness generally requires regular optometrist visits, particularly for glaucoma. Same for epilepsy. He may also want psychotherapy treatment for PTSD, adoption and childhood trauma, and managing other symptoms that come with his disabilities. Since he has access to a computer, virtual therapy and virtual check-ups are possible. That said, certain testing or treatment cannot be conducted virtually. I am not familiar with weight-bearing prosthetics, but he will need to be fitted for that as well and have access to help with up-keeping it. You probably don’t need to spend a lot of time on this subject, although considering it may add realism or relatability to your story. If he takes medication for epilepsy, pain management, or if he’s on testosterone, access to medication should be considered as well, both at home and the boarding school.

For his difficulty processing visual information, he might benefit from using a screen-reader, audio descriptions, and audiobooks. He might like the tactile sensation of Braille since you mentioned Braille books. So a Braille display might be more beneficial than a Braille printer and more effective considering cost and physical space. He can get Braille books from plenty of programs, so he won’t go without, supplemented with audiobooks and the Braille display as he gets older. I have seen Braille printers at schools. Not so much in homes. Although I suppose people with access to Braille printing at school would not have much need for them at home. This might be different if he and his siblings are homeschooled.

I suggest considering what options he and his siblings prefer and why. What makes sense for their home, finances, school needs, reading needs, writing needs, and personal preferences?

For school work, slate and stylus or computers are also options.

Braille literacy is declining. I’m honestly happy to see Braille mentioned at all. These are just extra topics to consider.

You also mentioned he can see about 6 to 8 feet in front of him. I think you’re on the right track with mentioning that he doesn’t try to strain himself. A lot of blind people with residual vision are expected to use and even rely on it. Because seeing is effort for us, this can be exhausting or even painful. Eye strain is real thing. Feeling tired from using your eyes a lot, such as for reading or navigating dim, unfamiliar spaces, can cause eye strain.

Other than that, I suggest focusing less on his exact level of vision and more on using techniques to make his life easier. More on how blindness influences and enriches his life. Maybe he uses lamps instead of harsh over-head lights. Maybe he has his screen-reader read an article to him instead of having to stare at his phone. Maybe he cuddles his guide dog when it rains and his old breaks are aching. Or maybe he has brightly colored kitchen stuff to increase contrast while he cuts veggies or bakes muffins for his family.

Needs for a Service Dogs: O&M Skills and Getting Out of the House

I can also see how the lifestyle and limited mobility, exercise, and access to healthcare would influence his other disabilities, including his mobility concerns. Having a service dog who can act as a guide as well as provide stability sounds helpful. Although I wonder how training with his service dog would go, given that 1) he would need to have proficient O&M skills, including cane skills, before getting a guide dog and 2) guide dog applications require not only training with new guides, but also routes that are traversed regularly.

The Samsung Guide Dog School in Japan lists this requirement here which reads:

“There should be a daily destination to maintain activity.

School → Student, Working place → Worker or Self employment

Other social activity → Homemaker, Freelancer”

Guide Dogs of America also lists a similar requirement in this list of qualifications here which reads as follows:

Are you legally blind?

At least 18 years of age or older?

Have you completed orientation and mobility training?

Are you physically able to walk one or two miles a day?

Do you have three or more routes you walk on a regular basis?

Financially able to appropriately care for a guide dog?

Additionally, this section refers to the necessary O&M skills, particularly navigating and cane skills I mentioned earlier: “Orientation and mobility is training that visually impaired individuals receive that helps them confidently navigate the world. O&M focuses on things like sensory awareness, spatial concepts, relationships which exist between objects in the environment, searching skills, independent movement, sighted guide, protective techniques and cane skills. Every potential GDA student must submit an O&M evaluation before being accepted into our program.”

With these qualifications in mind, consider these questions and how your story can explain them. He may not need to walk exactly one or two miles a day, nor does he need to go far with his guide dog. Even walking to a general store, the vet clinic, and a neighbor’s house would work. As I explained in my post about canes and guide dogs, financial concerns also vary as well, with some schools covering all veterinary care and others only covering some food for when the dog and handler leave training. You can get flexible with whatever fits his situation best as long as the general outline is there regarding training, routes, exercise, and care for the dog.

Some things about training to consider are:

How did he get the service dog and train with her if he can’t leave the house? If he needs to stay inside for safety reasons, a program that allows him to go away and train with his service dog might actually be to his benefit. Or he could choose a program that includes training in his own home and community, depending on if it is safe enough from the people who want him dead. While a lot of programs that I can find include training at a specific location which the guide dog handler travels to, there are some programs in which trainers go to the handler instead. For example, Sadi the Blind Lady discusses this type of training with her guide dog in this video here.

As for development of cane skills, he would need to spend at least some time outside, such as when learning to cross the street safely. This would also require at least some exploration outside even with an instructor meeting him at his house. Traveling to other indoor areas to practice navigating is important as well. For example, my indoor cane skills involve finding and using escalators, elevators, stairs, and ramps safely. Finding landmarks is also a useful skill. He can use some of his residual vision for all of these tasks, along with his cane.

Exercise and routes for guide dogs are also important. These are big dogs that need at least some time outside. Most programs want a handler walking a few routes daily or a few times a week.

I can’t speak for other types of services the dog in question is trained to do, but I know that some guide dogs are also able to provide stabilization for DeafBlind handlers.

My suggestion for all these concerns would be to either come up with a reason he is safe in his general community or an area around his home rather than only inside. This might allow him to learn O&M skills, train with his guide dog, and go on short walks.

I am imagining a quiet village or perhaps a community that is secluded. Perhaps he lives in the mountains or the forest. Even a rural area could give him a little more freedom to leave his house without risk.

One last point I wanted to mention is that the requirements I listed above suggest handlers should be 18 or older. However, some schools accept 16 and older. Some accept handlers as young as 13. I’m less concerned about the more common age requirement so long as service dogs are portrayed accurately.

The Boarding School and Mobility Aids

The boarding school should allow the service dog, as service dogs can go anywhere. I also feel that him not knowing a cane is an option is confusing, especially given that cane skills are a prerequisite for guide dogs. Forgoing a cane and his dog also reduces his independence both as a blind person and someone with mobility issues. This, coupled with a drastic change in living situation, lifestyle, and amount of socialization, could be challenging. If used for plot reasons, this could be effective for creating emotional and physical struggles. However, it may be quite a lot for what sounds like a story already filled with different problems to face.

In my opinion, going into an unfamiliar situation without his usual mobility aids would probably cause additional strain. Instead of having a familiar dog by his side, he would go into this situation with no source of familiarity. Therefore, a guide dog there might help him in several areas, while also leaving his blindness less obvious than it might be if he used a cane. This is because canes are meant to be indicative of visual impairment in addition to mobility tools. Service dogs, on the other hand, can be utilized for multiple purposes, as is true with your character’s dog. This means that if your character does not want to disclose his blindness, which he is not required to do, he can explain that the dog is a service dog trained to provide assistance for various disabilities. As far as other characters know, these tasks could be anything from stabilization, medical alert, retrieval, or psychiatric support.

This post on service animals might be of some use.

This post I made about mobility aids might also be helpful.

The Spectrum of Blindness

I like that you have a few other blind characters, displaying the spectrum of blindness and different experiences. I wonder what mobility aids the other characters use.

Boarding School Accommodations and Assistive Technology

If he isn’t sharing about his blindness, how does he do schoolwork? I mention this because of little things that come up in classrooms, such as print being too small on exams, teachers writing on the boards without verbalizing, or students needing extra time. Eye strain can also be a concern in classroom settings. If he can talk with his teachers about accommodations he may need in order to do his schoolwork, this might help. He doesn’t necessarily need to let anyone else know unless he chooses to.

Conversely, you could also show the difficulties of not having accommodations or not having them fulfilled properly. The frustration, confusion, and helplessness often felt in these situations could be relatable to readers. Eventually, he could receive accommodations and advocate for himself, displaying the difference accommodations make. These can take the form of teachers and friends helping him in ways he would like to be assisted.

Accommodations put blind students on an even playing field. As long as you don’t normalize not having them, you’re probably good going either route. I wanted to include my thoughts here just in case, as you only mentioned a friend taking notes for him.

About note taking with a 3D pen—I’m not sure if that would work for notes. 3D pens are fun to use for drawings and art, but the ones I used weren’t very reliable, plus there is the size of the letters to consider. 3D letters are meant to be tactile, which means they would need to be larger than usual. This means reading an entire page of notes might be challenging.

He might be better off using other options, such as large print, for notes, particularly notes for maths or other materials written on the board that are not said out loud by the teacher. In this case, the notes his friend takes might be supplemental, with him taking his own notes by listening. He has a few options for this, including Braille, a laptop, or recording lectures. Since you mentioned he has a laptop with a screen-reader, he can probably use that with headphones. Refreshable Braille displays and note takers are also options, although they cost money. Typically they are provided by schools, governments, or scholarships.

When choosing assistive technology, consider his personality, his level of vision, how comfortable and knowledgeable he is with Braille, and how comfortable or uncomfortable he is with potentially standing out in some way. I’m not sure if at this point he’s still hiding his blindness or being open about it, but if he wants to hide it or avoid standing out among his peers, he might choose something like large print, a laptop, having a friend help take notes, or a combination thereof. Of course, if he has trouble processing visual information, large print might not be an option. In this case, a laptop with a screen-reader would allow him to take his own notes as well as read any that are emailed to him. If you go with him hiding his blindness, a laptop is probably the best option.

If he is comfortable with others knowing about his blindness, he might be more likely to use a Braille note-taker with headphones. He can also use a combination approach depending on his needs as well. For example, maybe he also records lectures because he is a slow note-taker or he gets distracted easily.

So far, you have a good use of assistive technology and Braille so far. I do wonder how he and his siblings learned Braille. Did an instructor come to their home to teach them as part of their homeschooling?

Some Thoughts About His Friends Helping Him

Other characters assuming his limits is pretty true to my own experience, as well as the reverse, such as people assuming he can do things that are actually hard for him because they can’t relate to his amount of vision. Vision can also change depending on environmental factors, lighting, fatigue, stress, eye strain, or anxiety.

While I don’t have a problem with friends making the mistake of being overly protective of blind friends, I think it is important that the behavior is also addressed and changed. His friends are not more knowledgeable about what is safe for him than he is. They are not more knowledgeable about what he can do than he is. [Bolded for emphasis.]

I also wonder, why hide his blindness and not other disabilities? Is it because blindness is a bit easier to hide than the others?

Consider how his various disabilities interact with each other. For example, blind people and people with cognitive disabilities are often infantilized, which can make advocacy difficult.

Lastly, you mentioned his friend subtly guiding him, of which I feel wary. If he asks his friend to do so, that would give him more agency, if you weren’t already alluding to that.

Oh, and another point I wanted to mention is that you have a lot of disabilities represented, some of which are highly stigmatized. Consider finding a few sensitivity readers for those as well, such as CPTSD, cognitive disability, and NPD, or at least the things you don’t already have personal experience with. @sensitivityreaders is a good place to start, as well as conducting general searches on tumblr and twitter.

@cripplecharacters is also a great resource for writing disabilities. Check out their master-posts for sure.

Avoiding Erasing Blindness Wth Shapeshifting and Energy Abilities, Plus Blind Person Learning Trapeze

The shapeshifting and energy stuff don’t seem like erasing blindness as far as you have described them here. Since one of your characters also has difficulty processing visual information with his residual vision, that means that the overwhelm would double for him. This isn’t even considering his photosensitivity. Additionally, eyes are complex structures, so messing about with them is probably not advisable if you don’t know what you’re doing.

Also, disclaimer, I know nothing about trapeze. The set-up your have sounds plausible to me, especially if you throw in magic. My main concerns are about possible light sensitivity from spotlights or light changes, as well as his stability problems making trapeze more arduous for him.

A quick search online brought up two blind trapeze artists: Sarah Houbolt and Rachael Storey.

As long as you can make trapeze accessible for him, you’re probably fine. Relying on audio and energy cues sounds like a good way to do that, as well as following regular procedures for training and safety. If anymore more familiar with trapeze can help, feel free to do in the notes and OP can contact you.

His Friends Getting Him Blindness Stuff Feels Off to Me

You mentioned that his friends get him stuff for cooking. Is he also cooking for himself at the boarding school?

A talking alarm clock and a Braille watch might be useful for school.

My only concern about his friends getting him such tools is that sighted people usually don’t know what is available, let alone where to order these items. Doing so could show that they paid attention and were proactive about doing their own research. However, what tools help can depend on the person and it might be important to establish that he expressed wanting certain items already.

Some blind people enjoy receiving blindness stuff as gifts. It shows the giver put extra consideration into choosing it. However, some blind people are sensitive about receiving items that specifically relate to blindness, unless they communicated wanting it beforehand as a gift option. Personally, unless I specifically asked for something Blindness Stuff TM, I would feel strange if a friend showed up with a talking alarm clock and gave it to me. This might be because I would rather something more personal, less utilitarian. Also, when sighted people talk about accessibility tools with me, I have usually already heard about it, didn’t want it, or already have it. The exceptions to this are if I, for example, want money to go toward something like an expensive Braille display. Or one of my blind friends gives me something I’ve been talking about for a while. With the exception of Braille cards or considering general accessibility where possible, none of my blind friends have gifted me Blindness Stuff.

@askablindperson made a video about giving blind people gifts that might also be useful. It captured some of my awkward feelings related to receiving blindness stuff. Link here.

My last suggestion for increasing general accessibility is to watch blind content creators, such as on this list linked here.

Closing

There is quite a lot to chew on in your ask. I tried to address everything. Please read any notes that might be added with anything I missed. I would also highly suggest a few sensitivity readers for the blindness and guide dog aspects.

I hope this helps.

[npd-hottakes]

The entire methodology of diagnosing and treating NPD, down to the language they use to talk about us, is inherently backwards. Obviously it's ableist - that's not a very hot take - but it's downright counterproductive to treatment.

One of the most basic symptoms of all personality disorders is usually referred to as "distorted thinking", and they're applying this directly to a disorder which is inherently about being vulnerable to criticisms. They're calling the symptoms of a disorder about ego dysregulation shit like "interpersonal exploitation", "thinking they're unique", "pathological need for admiration."

Don't get me wrong, it's a problem with all psychology no matter the disorder to view symptoms as in comparison to the neurotypical. But this language just isn't fucking helpful

No narcissist is going to just agree that their thinking is distorted, because their OWN DIFFERENCES IN THNKING is going to deny and justify themselves.

I think a good alternative might be "maladaptive cognitions", because they're not DISTORTED and DISORDERED and WRONG and they NEED TO BE ELIMINATED, but rather, they're just unhealthy. You can't fucking tell me the cognitive schemas that I developed to survive years of abuse is "distorted." It's an adaptation to abuse and now it's harming me

Interpersonal exploitation should be called maladaptive and/or distressing social beliefs becaue NPD exploitation/manipulation is not a conscious thought process of "oh im goign to manipulate this guy" it's an accumulation of differences in cognition and needs that leads to us behaving in the ways we do. When i shit talk someone i'm not actively thinking hm i am going to EXPLOIT THIS PERSON i am going to INTERPERSONALLY EXPLOIT THEM i am thinking an accumulation of the ways i have learned to socially behave

Thinking they're unique shouldn't even be a seperate diagnostic criterion, it's just a different manifestation of the next point so it has no need to be treated like a seperate psychological phenomena

Pathological need for admiration should be called a maladaptive view of what reassurance looks like. First of all just fuck off calling a trauma response 'pathological', dear god. Secondly, i don't "need admiration", i need REASSURANCE for my fragile ego. I would need admiration if I had a giant ego, and I fucking don't! My view of what reassurance is is just so skewed by years of trauma and social outcasting that I need an extreme amount and/or expression of it for it to mean anything to me

"I love you" oh okay asshole fuck off, "I would die for you" now you're talking -- but notice that they're expressing the same thing deep down, that i am liked and worthy of existing in the world. If i had a neurotypical, non-traumatized view of what reassurance was I would be fine being able to hear 'i love you' and get the same thing out of it, but i don't. And that's not because i ""need to be admired"" dickface it's because i love you means nothing to me after hearing meaningless two-faced sweet nothings for my entire childhood while the same people turned around and abused me

FUCK! I HATE THE AMERICAN PSYCHIATRIC ASSOCIATION! Thank you for coming to the ted talk

Don't know what to add to this, but yeah, I agree.