#I do overcome my anxiety
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popcorn-plots · 5 months ago
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just a tiny bit salty about the fact that my mom is dead set on me overcoming my anxiety.
I mean it's good to overcome, but I have good days and bad days. And when there's a time when I am literally paralyzed by anxiety.. when I physically can't move because I am so terrified, it's so incredibly hard to move forward and to think about it ever getting better. when I'm having a panic attack and I'm told to "overcome it". when every 'that was really scary' or 'i had a hard time doing this' or 'I have anxiety and that's making this task really difficult for me, can you help me' or literally anything along the lines of 'my anxiety was acting up and that made it really difficult for me to do this task'
I'm met with some variation of 'you'll overcome it though, right?'
yes. yes, I will, mother. I'm even in therapy for it. I also need some validation. maybe an 'I know that was scary, but I'm proud of you for doing it anyways' once in a while.
I'm trying my hardest to not be so fucking scared all the time, but that's really really difficult. Part of me wants to see if meds will help, but I'm afraid that if I bring it up to my mom, she'll say that I'm letting anxiety rule my life.
yeah, it's going to rule my life when my mom dismisses me the moment I try and get help... to keep my anxiety from running my life.
I tell her that Inside Out 2 was such an accurate portrayal of anxiety and panic attacks that I literally started crying in the theatre because I felt so heard and validated by this movie telling me that it's rough, and it sucks, but it's going to be okay. And I told my mom this and explained that what we saw was exactly what it was like to have a panic attack and to live with anxiety.
"You can overcome it though! You don't have to live with it!"
I know. I'm trying. But I'm tired.
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nocternal · 10 months ago
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a moment of silence for all us disabled ones who had to watch each of their friends move on with their lives without you and get jobs, go to school, have partners come and go, get engaged and move house etc.
shout out to my fellow struggling people who are still sitting in the same bedroom they grew up in. the ones who can't get a job, can't make new friends, can't find a partner or partners, can't move house and can't go to school.
I hope one day we can all find someone to at least sit with us in our rooms. I see you and I understand... and I'm sorry we can't be that person for each other
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realbeefman · 1 year ago
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stacy is sooo interesting because she's in love with house but knows that they will never ever be able to have a healthy, stable, sane relationship because they're too similar so. she finds house-lite instead and marries him and. essentially moves on with her life! and is successful in this because she's a moderately well-adjusted person!
wilson, in contrast, never manages to escape the inevitable, in spite of his best efforts to find a house-lite of his very own, because he's an absolute fucking freak and ends up glued to house to the bitter. bitter end
#yeah im too sleepy to revise this. UNFILTERED posting wooahh#some may b shocked but i do actually read thru most of my posts several times to make sure i didnt accidentally write mein kampfe 2#recently ive come to the realization that i am in fact not an incredibly chill person#and that the constant paranoia and fear in which i live my life is actually PROBABLY a symptom of severe anxiety#like damn. ive always known that im pretty prone to depression but ive preetty much always been aware of that#my mom is a chronic depressive so i know the symptoms i know the signs i have a pretty good arsenal of healthy coping mechanisms#UNFORTUNATELY mommy's mental health problems did not help her not abuse me as a child#so i ended up being a terribly anxious kid who was constantly being screamed at and told i was overreacting (because i was. because i had#a severe anxiety problem that was making me react irrationally.) to everything all the time#which is you know. it is VERY difficult to deal with a mental health problem when you arent aware you have a problem!#its incredible how much. better. my life has gotten since i figured this out and started actively trying to work out what triggers it#and being able to like. realize 'oookay. there is an Issue here and it needs to be overcome'#instead of just beating on myself constantly for not being able to do things without feeling sick or getting breathing problems!#anyways. trauma dumping in tags is over now!#house md#hilson#greg house#james wilson#stacy warner
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snowflake-sage · 2 months ago
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Pretty proud of how far I’ve come this year
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origamiyoda · 26 days ago
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I tthink I could stand to be weirder and gayer about barney.
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mumintroll · 8 months ago
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giving up drinking is hard bc at uni almost all of my social life is going to the pub or going out. i caved last night and had some drinks at the pub but im going to try and not have any for the rest of the month. idk i wish it was like school when hanging out meant loitering in a park for 5 hours and then going to someones house and having their mother make dinner for u all and playing viddy games until u get kicked out
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cosmictap · 5 months ago
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Little story from today:
So I went to the library for the first time since like 2019 and i needed to get a new library card since mine was very much out of date, so i (after a LOT of convincing myself) walked up to the receptionist and VERY nervously asked about a new library card, gave him my old one and i’m so sure he could see exactly how much i was shitting myself because my hands were shaking so much 😭 anyway, he asks me how old i am, to confirm my address all that stuff, i’ve calmed down a little since i’m like ‘oh okay maybe i won’t get outcasted for trying to get a new card’, he asks if my first and last name was still good.
Instead of backing up like i usually do and saying it was fine, i asked if it would be possible to change my first name!!!!!! Anyway the point of this was: Peter (i think that was his name i was genuinely terrified the whole conversation though) thank you idk what you did but i didn’t start crying so you did something right
And now I have a library card with my chosen name on it :D
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bittersweetblasphemy · 3 months ago
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gigantomachylesbian · 1 month ago
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Guys. I did not know before now that writing could be painfully millennial in a full prose book but the pho*nix ke*per has proven me wrong and I have to complain about it in the tags
#k talks#weird astrix is because I don't want this showing up in the tag just in case#but I NEED To complain about this book real quick. I love a magical zoo that part was fun but good lord the main character....#I get what the author was trying to do with her arc and I will say the second half of the book is better than the first but Jesus christ#I hated the main character at the start she is SO annoying. not to be mean I know the whole point is her overcoming her anxiety#but like. I swear to God every two pages was just oooh I'm so awkward I'm such an introvert I'm such an awkward scrawny turtle!!!!#like CONSTANT. even worse though she's mean about it. for like half the book she's just so incredibly judgy at her public outreach job#she literally works at a zoo and has to learn hmmm... zoos need money??? zoos are also about... educating the public??? WHATT????#also it just felt so weird because she is constantly talking about how pale and skinny and pasty and scrawny and white she is#like constantly. and her best friend is a black trans woman who CONSTANTLY coddles and supports the mc in a very maternal way#and her love interest is latina-coded I'm pretty sure and is much more confident and opinionated and is literally described as fiery once#so like. hm! Okay! interesting! Interesting stereotypes going on tbh!!!#the mc learns some lessons and gets slightly less insufferable but like. also it was SO predictable I always knew what was gonna happen nex#and the writing style... like I said above it is MILLENNIAL and not in a fun way. the word boop is used several times. the humor is awful#the main character has multiple conversations about being so uwu bottom even though there's no sex in this book??? why??#and every single character description is repeated OVER and OVER with the same two details. SO much telling basically no showing#the writing was just so... quirky. ooooh look at me I'm awkward I trip over things I can't do make-up I love sitting on the couch!!!!#like. idk. obviously a lot of people really liked this book and I SHOULD have been one of them. Sapphic romance at a magic zoo....#but the execution was just so incredibly not my thing it actively pissed me off even if I can see what the author was trying to achieve#maybe I just don't like cozy fantasy. man. there was a bit where a guy should've gotten eaten by a kelpie but didn't. so maybe too cozy#for my tastes actually. which is weird I feel like I should enjoy cozy fantasy! especially about animals!!! but maybe this was just a fluke#anyways. to be clear I am not trying to make fun of the MC for having anxiety. just the overall way her social awkwardness was WRITTEN abou#really bothered me. idk man I'm a neurotic freak as well but I try to be NICE about it. and I have the correct zoo opinions. so.
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adelle-ein · 5 months ago
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honestly even after all these years i don't think i've fully accepted that i'm severely mentally ill and that heavily affects every aspect of my life
like why do i spend so much time worrying about if i'm "disabled enough" when i objectively, literally, cannot function and need massive amounts of medical and therapeutic intervention just to like, stay alive. put aside all the physical health stuff and i'm still REALLY sick
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bookwyrminspiration · 9 months ago
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Do you like babel. I have the book but I haven’t started yet
oh I adore babel. I talk about it so much and am constantly reccing it to people--in fact, I did so just yesterday after quoting it in class discussion!
With a complex, diverse main cast and a heavy focus on language--as an art, as a field of study, as a tool of oppression by colonial empires--it creates such a captivating world and worldview. Following the 4 main characters throughout their college schooling and seeing them try to reconcile and come to terms with their circumstances and their losses and their supposed helplessness is such an emotional journey, and its one many can see themselves in.
You'll find a lot of people who've lost/struggle with their heritage language(s) echoing the characters' sentiments and experiences, though the relations can and do go beyond that.
I'm trying not to spoil anything, but if you'd like a more official summary/sales pitch or would like to talk about it more I am always delighted to discuss babel :)
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sherlock-is-ace · 8 months ago
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#oh wow...#i just had an oh shit fuck moment#wow#i usually complain about the one therapist i had in my entire life and how she wouldn't just listen to what i was saying#if it didn't fit her textbook definition of whatever she was thinking at the time#and how i talked to her about my anxiety and how that made me feel and she would only focus on how i acted#so the example i gave her was the one time i went into a shop to buy something by myself#because my mom didn't want to go in for me and arguing with my mom in front of the shop in public and then inevitably have to#go in myself either way was way worse to me#because of the embarrassement of arguing in public. the fact that my mom was gonna spend the entire walk home telling me how i have to#''just suck it up and learn and just overcome my anxiety because i don't have a problem'' or whatever#and then having to go into the shop where the lady had been watching me from inside the entire time how i clearly didn't want to go in#and possibly be even more awkward with teary eyes because of the anxiety and awkwardness i already bring to the table any day...#all of those things that were going inside my head were trumped by the fact that i did go in and did buy what i needed#although my heart was coming out of my chest the entire time... all that didn't matter to my therapist because in her words:#''if you had anxiety. you simply wouldn't have gone in''#which is ridiculous#but anyways... i just had an epiphany... that was masking wasn't it?#forcing myself to do something that brings me major discomfort to make my mother and the shop lady not judge me?#pretend i'm a normal human being just doing normal things instead of someone who's about to have a heart attack buying embroidery thread?#panicking the entire time because i wasn't prepeared and hadn't scripted the entire transaction in my head?#yet still going in and putting on my ''normal person'' mask to try to seem like i wasn't just dying seconds ago (and still was)?#isn't that literally what masking is?!#and the ''autism specialist'' ass therapist was like ''if you did it then you don't have a problem''#when i'm literally telling her how much of a problem it actually WAS?!#you know what's the best part about all this#that when i told my mom after i left that therapist that she didn't listen to me because [insert everything above]#my mom's response was ''well sometimes therapist will say things that you don't want to hear but you have to accept them''....#same woman who's always saying how much she hates therapists because they ''will say whatever and pretend they know shit''#ok so it's only The Truth when I tell you it isn't...
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ozdicaff · 1 year ago
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I WROTE A LIL 800 WORD DRABBLE ABOUT GITM NOVA BUT IM. SO NERVOUS ABOUT PUBLISHING IT
Im not at all used to publishing my writing even though i write a bunch, usually i jus share it in dms or write it out as bullet point headcanons
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elkkiel · 8 months ago
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got brave and shared sleep token with my dad, ya know, because it's important to me and he likes looking for new music. immediately comes home after listening to tmbte on his commute + goes off on how it's neat on a surface level listen, but it's actually super cheesy and inauthentic when you look into it/fundamentally fails at what they claim they want to do with the music and artistic approach to the story they want to tell. Just overall very very critical, esp after I shared why I like them a lot (emotional connection from my own mental health + abuse, etc.) so that kind of sucked
smh my head dude can't have shit in Detroit
(I am never sharing a hyperfixation again lmao I can't do this shit, the rsd is coming in with a steel chair and I'm just trying not to cry because it feels really fuckin dumb to be so upset, but that's the funky thing about rsd lol)
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spec-squared · 3 months ago
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gosh, this musician i like just wore a pirate costume with fucking Black Tights and his legs are gonna be the death of me
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candyheartedchy · 2 years ago
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“Chy Baby”
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