#i overcome my social anxiety
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Little story from today:
So I went to the library for the first time since like 2019 and i needed to get a new library card since mine was very much out of date, so i (after a LOT of convincing myself) walked up to the receptionist and VERY nervously asked about a new library card, gave him my old one and i’m so sure he could see exactly how much i was shitting myself because my hands were shaking so much 😭 anyway, he asks me how old i am, to confirm my address all that stuff, i’ve calmed down a little since i’m like ‘oh okay maybe i won’t get outcasted for trying to get a new card’, he asks if my first and last name was still good.
Instead of backing up like i usually do and saying it was fine, i asked if it would be possible to change my first name!!!!!! Anyway the point of this was: Peter (i think that was his name i was genuinely terrified the whole conversation though) thank you idk what you did but i didn’t start crying so you did something right
And now I have a library card with my chosen name on it :D
#rambles#the rare occasions#i overcome my social anxiety#i think it helped that it was kind of loud (for a library anyway) because there were people doing some knitting thing in there as well#but genuinely#peter was very patient with me#also#another win for libraries?#fucking love libraries#peter if you see this know you made my day#story time#public libraries
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giving up drinking is hard bc at uni almost all of my social life is going to the pub or going out. i caved last night and had some drinks at the pub but im going to try and not have any for the rest of the month. idk i wish it was like school when hanging out meant loitering in a park for 5 hours and then going to someones house and having their mother make dinner for u all and playing viddy games until u get kicked out
#ik theres lots of activities u can do that dont involve drinking but tbh most of the people i know i dont feel close or comfortable enough#around to do stuff likethat while completely sober alcohol feels so necessary to overcome my social anxiety. which ik is its own issue but#idk how to solve that#wish we cld all go out for coffee and cake at like 2pm instead of staying at the pub until 1am
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Guys. I did not know before now that writing could be painfully millennial in a full prose book but the pho*nix ke*per has proven me wrong and I have to complain about it in the tags
#k talks#weird astrix is because I don't want this showing up in the tag just in case#but I NEED To complain about this book real quick. I love a magical zoo that part was fun but good lord the main character....#I get what the author was trying to do with her arc and I will say the second half of the book is better than the first but Jesus christ#I hated the main character at the start she is SO annoying. not to be mean I know the whole point is her overcoming her anxiety#but like. I swear to God every two pages was just oooh I'm so awkward I'm such an introvert I'm such an awkward scrawny turtle!!!!#like CONSTANT. even worse though she's mean about it. for like half the book she's just so incredibly judgy at her public outreach job#she literally works at a zoo and has to learn hmmm... zoos need money??? zoos are also about... educating the public??? WHATT????#also it just felt so weird because she is constantly talking about how pale and skinny and pasty and scrawny and white she is#like constantly. and her best friend is a black trans woman who CONSTANTLY coddles and supports the mc in a very maternal way#and her love interest is latina-coded I'm pretty sure and is much more confident and opinionated and is literally described as fiery once#so like. hm! Okay! interesting! Interesting stereotypes going on tbh!!!#the mc learns some lessons and gets slightly less insufferable but like. also it was SO predictable I always knew what was gonna happen nex#and the writing style... like I said above it is MILLENNIAL and not in a fun way. the word boop is used several times. the humor is awful#the main character has multiple conversations about being so uwu bottom even though there's no sex in this book??? why??#and every single character description is repeated OVER and OVER with the same two details. SO much telling basically no showing#the writing was just so... quirky. ooooh look at me I'm awkward I trip over things I can't do make-up I love sitting on the couch!!!!#like. idk. obviously a lot of people really liked this book and I SHOULD have been one of them. Sapphic romance at a magic zoo....#but the execution was just so incredibly not my thing it actively pissed me off even if I can see what the author was trying to achieve#maybe I just don't like cozy fantasy. man. there was a bit where a guy should've gotten eaten by a kelpie but didn't. so maybe too cozy#for my tastes actually. which is weird I feel like I should enjoy cozy fantasy! especially about animals!!! but maybe this was just a fluke#anyways. to be clear I am not trying to make fun of the MC for having anxiety. just the overall way her social awkwardness was WRITTEN abou#really bothered me. idk man I'm a neurotic freak as well but I try to be NICE about it. and I have the correct zoo opinions. so.
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I feel so offputting to the general public and have no idea how to fix it KDKDKDK
#I don’t know how to be normal sorry djdkdkd#sometimes it will literally be it IS IT SOMETHING I SAID??😭😭😭#me<- facing my fears overcoming social anxiety in big spaces and realizing it scares people away skdkdk#it is dumb.. but also brain why are you being mean…#the average AUDHD experience
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gosh, this musician i like just wore a pirate costume with fucking Black Tights and his legs are gonna be the death of me
#the rest of the band encouraged him to do a solo performance to help him overcome his social anxiety#and I'm just 🥺🥹#he's a grown ass man but he's MY babygirl#i need him chat#david wood#good kid#also his voice is just so beautiful
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i got so excited about getting an email that my stamps have shipped
is this what being an adult is like?
#anyways gonna have stamps hopefully by thursday so i can send the rest of my things out#im getting two in the mail tomorrow as they are priority and rest when the stamps get here#..and that big one when i overcome social anxiety and take it to the post office to confirm how much it weights so i can ship it properly#which will hopefully be next weeks tuesday since im in town#but yeah! bracelets should be going out soon finally! i didnt get the last ones back after sending them so its a good sign!#tho its been almost a week and now im concerned where are they since i havent been told theyve arrived so...#need to remember international postage is slow ough#but yeah. all should be good at least. so excited to finally get things to people 💜💜💜#which means im motivated and inspired to make more soooo hopefully another shop update by friday. maybe sneak peeks early? 👀#and comms are open ofc if you want something specific 💜#okay no more ramble time i gotta eat and take care of few important things before i can sit down to make bracelets ough#night is an absolute mess on main
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🤗
#y'all i'm so excited!!#I have my first therapy appointment in a week!!#i finally found one that was covered for me#i can't wait to trauma dump and I hope they can show me how to overcome my social anxiety#i need cbt to work so bad because idk what else will lmao#but I'm so happy to break the generational cycle of people that have negative perceptions of ppl who go to therapy#like i'm genuinely so happy and excited and proud of myself for taking the first step#personal
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i would love to have a conversation with Vessel, he seems like a super interesting person and honestly i just really wanna know how his mind works!!!
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I’ve been having a bit of a nervous breakdown due to an incident at work a few weeks back (a parent got through security and tried to break into my room TWICE). Plus, you know, still grieving my mom from her passing in May.
Started seeing a therapist and hoping I can get some more time off work. I’ll find out tomorrow 🤞🏽
This is a long winded way of saying there will be no writing for a while. No matter how much I love writing I really (finally) need to put myself and my needs first.
#I will be resigning in June#I’d do it now but I have to finish clearing my teacher credential#which ends in June#if anyone has any advice for ptsd or new developed social anxiety please please share them#I’ve gone through every coping mechanism I know and nothing helps with overcoming the nausea#I literally just need to survive until June
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I LOVE MUSICALSSSS
#went to see a local percy jackson musical earlier today cuz my friends were in it and it was very cool#i don’t know anything abt percy jackson but that was awesomeee sauce#i NEED to go to more musicals#i’d try and audition for some but guys i can’t fucking wear makeup ever :(#like i can overcome social anxiety and learn how to dance and shit but the tism says NO to makeup.#maybe one day……#bluejay says stuff
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working on a sticker design
#the reference looks so different bc im using it for just the colors#sending this to everyone bc im proud of how it's going but also#if i wanna give up it'll be more difficult to overcome the social pressure than to overcome my frustration with the thing#weaponizing my social anxiety disorder against my fear of creating something mid/bad#loz posting#my art
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Some parents are so fucking mean and rotten to you because "the real world is a terrible place, get used to it" and then you go into the real world and it's actually better than dealing with them.
#my dad used to force me to talk to people to overcome my social anxiety#and he would cause me to have breakdowns to teach me a lesson or whatever#and then he threatened me with hospitalization if i did it again#i moved out after that and GUESS WHAT THE WORLD ISNT THAT BAD#dragon speaks#vent post
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me before i lock myself into a night of socialising: just breathe okay, you’ve done this before and you can do this again. you can survive this. it is nothing really, you are stronger than whatever hardships you will face. trust yourself and your instincts. you can do this. you will improvise, adapt, overcome. you are strong and normal and fine and you will survive this night.
me before i do something actually dangerous: woohoo let’s goooooooo!!!!!!
#inspiration: me at this very moment getting ready for my first house party at uni#why am i doing this to myself? when it was lowkey obligatory in secondary school I survived but hated it. so why now do I chose it when I#can chose to not do it#idk#hee hee#this is the opposite of that post about showers healing mental health#this time you think you’ve overcome ur social anxiety and then a party comes to be like hahahahha sike#my coping method is making fun of myself on tumblr apparently#original post
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I feel so abandoned lately.. it's like I'm a little girl and today is my first day of school and I know no one once again. sigh
#vent in tags?#so aheem. yeah it happens that my friends and i always play together#but when one of us can't make it none of us play because we want to be together yknow#but it happens that today I wasn't going to be able to join. and one of my friends just went-#”oh nevermind. the two of us can join to advance and you can come another day when you're able”#and i just ? idk it kinda freaked me a bit because it's the first time they say that?#but well i agreed because idk. my first thought was that they were very excited to play or something. but it did make me feel a bit. uneasy?#and yeah i tell them that i may be able to join around 11 but they just. ignored my messages#and i waited for them to reply but the reply never came#and i still opened our disc server to see if they're there and yeah. they're talking. they were projecting something a while ago too#and idk it's not that deep but i do feel a bit bad. if it had been any of the other two we would've agreed not to play till another day#but the very first time this happens it had to be with me as the subject#I've always had a rooted social anxiety that i thought i had overcome in the past but i don't think i have#my thoughts are spinning and i feel bad and the recent friendship paranoia i got is not helping#if i was normal i would probably join the vc and ask them directly why they aren't answering my messages but I'm not brave enough#so i guess I'll play alone tonight and tomorrow we'll see#but i feel very sad and lonely right now#:(#vent#rant
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honestly i should interact w my moots more w/o fear. just come into your askboxes asking you to please see ffxiv zero and dod zero and etc
#⋯ ꒰ა starry thoughts ໒꒱ *·˚#i love women ..... and drakenier and ffxiv and etc#i am too shy and socially anxious and awkward sorry i can't do things randomly. got to have some sort of incentive#WHICH IS WEIRD bcs i'm perfectly fine w someone coming to me and showing me idk a snail they saw on their roof. do snails go on roofs#yeah idk ..... anyway ty tumblr i've overcome my anxiety a bit more but also tumblr Is the anxiety. ???
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SO excited about Wardruna's concert next week, they'll perform songs they never did live! It's the first time I'll see them live, what a treat.
#overcoming my social anxiety to go to this concert in a beautiful open air venue#it just sucks i have no one to share this moment with#kinda tired of 'doing things for myself' at this point#i never get to share anything with anyone#but at least i'll see them at least once in my life
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