#Batfamily moments

[misakiisstupid]

Alright, listen. I know the official story of how Tim Drake became Robin is all well and good—smart kid, figures out Batman’s identity, convinces Bruce he needs a Robin, blah blah blah. But let’s be real. That’s not how it should have happened.

Tim Drake is terrifyingly smart. He’s a strategist, a detective, and, above all, a little menace when he wants to be. You’re telling me this kid, who pieced together Bruce Wayne’s identity from sheer observation at nine years old, just politely asked to be Robin? No, no, no.

Tim absolutely should have blackmailed Bruce into adopting him. Hardcore blackmail. The kind that would make even Lex Luthor step back and say, “Whoa, kid, chill.”

This is my vision of what should have been: a Tim Drake who saw an opening, took it, and left Bruce absolutely shookethin the process. Because let’s be honest—Tim isn’t just some sidekick. He’s a future evil mastermind who just so happens to be on the side of good. (For now.)

So here it is: the real first meeting of Bruce and Tim. Or, as I like to call it, The Time Tim Drake Made Bruce Wayne Regret Ever Underestimating a Nerdy 13-Year-Old.

Headcanon: Tim Blackmails Bruce into Adopting Him

The Official First Meeting Between Tim and Bruce

It was supposed to be a simple meeting. Just a brief introduction. Bruce had been informed by Alfred that a "young man" had managed to infiltrate the Batcave, and though it wasn’t entirely unheard of for new vigilantes to show up looking for guidance, there was something off about this one.

When Bruce descended into the Batcave, he expected to see a nervous kid, maybe someone who would try to look tough in front of him but would still have that wide-eyed naivety. What he didn’t expect was a boy who was sitting cross-legged on the floor, a laptop open in front of him, and a smile that could only be described as unsettlingly smug.

Tim Drake—who had hacked into Wayne Enterprises' database and had pieced together a detailed, uncanny amount of information on Bruce Wayne, Batman, and the Batfamily in a matter of days—was casually drinking what looked like a cup of tea, like he had every right to be there.

Bruce stood still for a moment, his gaze flicking from the laptop to the kid’s face. He immediately knew two things: One, this kid was dangerously intelligent. Two, Bruce Wayne was absolutely screwed.

Bruce: [Slightly unnerved but trying to keep his cool] "How did you get in here?"

Tim: [Not even looking up from his laptop] "Through the security system you definitely didn’t upgrade for the last two years, Mr. Wayne." [A pause as Tim sips his tea.] "And I gotta say, your firewall is incredibly… quaint."

Bruce's mind raced. His mind immediately cataloged the security flaws. How had he missed them? He had top-tier cybersecurity on every level of Wayne Enterprises and the Batcave, but this kid, this Tim Drake, had bypassed all of it in mere hours.

Bruce: [Trying to sound calm but with a slight edge to his voice] "You're saying you just… hacked your way in here?"

Tim: [Finally looking up at Bruce, eyes glinting with an almost mischievous joy] "Yeah. It was a fun challenge, honestly. But the real fun part was piecing together the puzzle." [He taps the laptop, showing a file of meticulously gathered data.] "You’re Batman, Bruce Wayne. And it wasn’t all that hard to figure out, really. Once you see the pattern, everything falls into place."

Bruce’s stomach drops. No one had ever pieced it together so fast, at least not without getting caught before they had the chance. Tim wasn’t just smart—he was terrifyingly good at this. Bruce had underestimated him. And now… now, he had a serious problem.

Bruce: "I assume you’re not here to join the team."

Tim: [Flashing a smile that made Bruce’s skin crawl, like he had all the power in the world] "Well, that depends. I’m here for a couple of things, actually." [He leans forward, his voice lowering with almost unnatural seriousness.] "First, I need a favor. Second, I’m giving you no choice."

Bruce's mind worked quickly, trying to assess how to handle this. Tim was not the kind of kid to be easily intimidated. His confidence was almost unnerving, and Bruce found himself instinctively on guard.

Bruce: [Skeptical] "And what favor would that be?"

Tim: [Pauses dramatically, looking at Bruce like a cat about to catch a mouse] "Well, Bruce, you see, I did a little digging. You did try to keep a certain little fact from the public, didn’t you? Something about your family history and some… interesting personal choices. Now, I’m no fan of blackmail, but I think we can come to an agreement here." [He leans back, crossing his arms and smiling widely.] "If you don't want this little gem to reach the press, you’ll have to do something for me."

Bruce’s heart races. He had no idea what Tim was talking about, but something told him that whatever this kid had uncovered, it was bad. Tim was way too casual about it, like it was a well-played card in his hand.

Bruce: "What do you want?" [His voice low and flat, trying to mask the slight tremor of unease.]

Tim: [In a tone that was disturbingly calm] "It’s simple. You’re going to adopt me. You’re going to make me an official part of your family. And in return, I won’t go public with your little secrets. I know what you’re thinking. You’re a very private man, Bruce. You won’t want your secrets getting out." [He smirks, clearly enjoying this.] "But I figure you’re willing to do a little more than just turn the other cheek when it comes to your reputation."

Bruce is stunned. This wasn’t a simple negotiation. This was full-blown blackmail. Tim was demanding adoption—a child’s ultimate leverage—as a means of keeping Bruce from being exposed. And yet, Bruce could see something in his eyes—this wasn’t just manipulation. This was calculated. This was Tim playing a long game, and Bruce had somehow walked right into it.

Bruce: "You can't be serious. I don't… I can't—"

Tim: [Cutting him off, voice soft but firm] "I am serious, Bruce. And you don’t really have a choice. So, what's it gonna be?" [Tim leans forward again, a glint of something sinister and clever in his eyes.]

Bruce takes a long, deep breath. There’s no denying the kid’s intelligence. Tim had backed him into a corner with no way out. He’d probably outsmarted Bruce in the process, and Bruce had never felt more vulnerable. He realizes, with a sickening certainty, that if he didn’t go along with this, the consequences could be far worse than a simple adoption.

Bruce: [Reluctantly] "Alright. I’ll adopt you."

Tim beams, like he’s just won the lottery.

Tim: [Happily] "Great! Now that wasn’t so hard, was it?" [He practically bounces in his seat, completely unfazed.] "We’ll need to update the paperwork, of course. I’m going to need a new ID, you know. Oh, and don't worry, Bruce. You’re going to be a great father. I’ll even let you choose my new name. How generous of me, right?"

Bruce stares at Tim, who’s practically glowing with excitement. For a moment, Bruce wonders if he’s dealing with a child prodigy or a villain in the making. Maybe both.

Bruce Wayne, for the first time in years, feels completely out of control.

Bruce: [Sighing, rubbing his temples] "I can’t believe this is happening."

Tim: [Smirking, completely satisfied with himself] "Oh, Bruce, you’ll thank me one day. Trust me."

And just like that, Tim Drake—who had blackmailed Bruce into adopting him—becomes the newest (and possibly the most unpredictable) member of the Wayne family.

End of Headcanon

[spacebubblehomebase]

Bat brother doodles I made for another art booth week! Not all of them made it, but it's great practice to always be involved when you can! ^v^ Bonus random prompts too! -Bubbly💙❤️💛💚

[julesarago]

Happy Batman Day to all who celebrate this little bitch of a man. 🙏

Sketched this on a friend’s iPad like a year ago when I was reading Batman: The Cult and…never posted it.

[sidewalk-cracks]

The batkids encountering distressed children and calling them "sweetheart", subconsciously mimicking how Bruce would and will call them sweetheart when they're distressed, and not even realizing it?? Don't speak to me. I can't.

[ghost-bxrd]

Prompt:

Jason insists on being the bait for a joint mission with the Bats. But the moment he starts “screaming” during the interrogation process, Batman calls the whole thing off and smashes right through the window and into the first thug.

Absolutely nobody is surprised by this development. Except Jason.

[batbunker]

Dick and Damian graffiting on each other's stuff!

Batman & Robin #10 & Nightwing #108

[tiger-grace]

The Dark Knight, Batman, Mr. “I am the night” maintaining his mystery even while revealing his identity in a justice league meeting:

The JL: Bruce Wayne?!

His wayward children, who have scheduled a “Brucie Wayne” funniest moments and scandals compilation to kick on in about 30 seconds on the monitor:

The JL: … bruce wayne

[everwalldigan]

Dick:(looking away slightly guilty) did you know I didn’t come to your funeral? Bruce didn’t tell me

Jason:

Jason: (shrugs) well there’s always the next one

Dick: I-

[prlssprfctn]

Jason Todd, who tries to do his Red Hood reveal in front of the whole family, all at once, but they are so sleep-deprived that instead of accepting an obvious answer, they come up with the most insane theories.

Jason, spreading his arms wide: The answer is already here, and you know it. Come on, the world's great detective — look at me, and tell, why would the random criminal lord avenge for your son? Hm?

Dick, snapping his fingers: You are his childhood friend! Right?!

Jason: What—

Dick: You knew everything about us. You knew Jason better than we did. It is obvious. You are a kid that he must befriended during his days on the streets. You are avenging for him because we failed him!

Tim, shaking his head: Dick, come on—

Jason: Yeah, exactly, just—

Tim, with the insane glint in his eyes: They were clearly lovers, not friends.

Jason: ...What.

Tim: It is obvious. Just look at him at his desperation. That's more than friendship.

Jason: Come on, Bruce, you can't possibly allow them to be this stupid.

Bruce, sipping on his coffee: No, I won't.

Bruce, turning to Dick and Tim: It is Willis Todd.

Dick, Tim, and Jason in the unison: What—

(Hours later, Jason's safe house)

Jason: ...And then he goes! (clears up his throat to imitate Bruce's voice) "Willis Todd's grave was always empty, but I hadn't paid attention to this fact!" What an insane thing to fucking admit, by the way!

Talia, on the Facetime, doing her nails: Perhaps it is a family trait - to leave the coffins empty... Anyway, what happened after?

Jason: They come up with another theory. Now, they think that Red Hood is "Jason's" reincarnation. Souls switched and stuff. Dunno. They planned to call Constantine, but I left.

Talia: I feel like a nap would resolve this issue.

Jason: Yeah, definitely. But that's not my problem.

Talia: Naturally. But you look happy.

Jason, smirking: I got to annoy the hell of this family without even getting revealed and dealing with the aftermath. Of course, I am happy. Also, Alfred clocked me, but just packed me a lemon pie and invited for a tea ceremony later this week.

[frownyalfred]

ok I know Jason + guns is usually an angsty combo but imagine a cracky fic where Jason really needs a fast, moving target for practice and Clark is like *shrug* I'm bulletproof, let's try it! and this results in Clark doing weird swoops around Jason who's firing his guns with both hands. and also Clark is wearing one of Bruce's bullet proof vest prototypes 1) to see where the bullets hit AND 2) to get some live data on efficacy for Bruce later (he doesn't know this yet and it's not going to go over well, but it was definitely well-intentioned)

[fanaticalthings]

I really like the idea of the bat kids designating Dick and Jason's apartments as sibling gathering spots but for opposite reasons.

Sibling needs some comfort? Some eldest daughter advice? A shoulder to cry on or just a lil getaway spot from the chaos of Gotham? Dick's apartment is perfect.

But if a batkid wants to complain, maybe wants to talk shit about Bruce, or maybe even wants to discuss a lil felony in a judgement free zone? Jason's place it is.

And I like to imagine that while Dick readily keeps his doors open and reminds anyone that they can drop by anytime, it's the opposite for Jason.

Dude's got his place riddled with traps and locked up to the high heavens. He makes it obvious he doesn't want visitors, and vaguely insinuates that there are bombs rigged somewhere in his apartment so there's a always a 50/50 chance you might get blown up if he's feeling particularly bitchy one day.

But does that stop his siblings? Absolutely not. Unlike Dick (who assigns himself as the guiding older brother), Jason has been forcefully labelled as the older sibling you go to if you need to complain and stir up havoc. The hundreds of traps in his place mean nothing. And it's worse because Jason is never prepared for when someone drops in.

-----

[Jason, 3 hours into his sleep, blearily waking up to a weight on his chest at 4am]:

[Damian, perched atop him, eyes dead-centre locked onto Jason without blinking]: Hello, Todd-stop screaming it is unbecoming-I just came to tell you that father won't allow me to adopt another stray I found on patrol.

Jason, half-asleep and like 70% sure he's hallucinating: Wha-

Damian: I need you to blow up his car.

Jason:

-----

[Jason, arriving home after a 6 hour patrol, exhausted out of his mind, turning on the lights]:

[Stephanie, previously baking brownies in the pitch black darkness before Jason arrived]: Oh hey! Just thought I'd drop by, y'know, for fun.

Jason: Bruce yelled at you again.

Stephanie: Bruce yelled at me again.

And yes, while most of the time, it ends up as wholesome sibling bonding, sometimes the other batkids just feel like inconveniencing Jason just whenever, because what are siblings for?

[Jason waking up and seeing all of his traps and security systems disarmed and very deliberately broken in a way where he'll have to replace all of them instead of being able to reactivate them]:

[Jason, immediately dialing his phone angrily]: Tim, I swear to GOD-

-----

[Jason giving himself a rest-day and cooking some meals]:

[Dick somersaulting in through the open window unannounced (he missed his brother)]: Whatcha up to, littlewing? :>

Jason: GET OUT-

-----

[Jason casually reading a book, feeling a sudden chill up his spine]:

[Cassandra standing in the corner without so much as an exhale, watching Jason intensely. Who knows how long she's been there]:

Jason: Are you here to kill me

Cass:

Jason: Just make it quick.

[ahfrickenfrick]

the batkids decide play a new game on patrol where they try to yell the most outrageous thing jumping into a fight

bruce bans the game after stephanie runs into a crowd of bystanders and muggers yelling

‘bienvenue power bottoms!’

and it causes jason to crash into a power pole from how hard he was laughing

[catpriciousmarjara]

Getting a PHD literally anywhere else: Wow! Congratulations! What a great achievement! Amazing!

Getting a PHD in Gotham: Wow! Amazing! You're now on several Government, Civilian, and Bat watchlists.

So if any of the Wayne kids get a PHD, then the entirety of Gotham would be squinting at them suspiciously. They're rich, so resources, and most likely already insane with all the shit they pull.

What I'm saying is if Jason went and got himself a Doctorate in Literature, the whole city would anticipate the appearance of his villainsona called the Dead Poet(emphasis on the dead) or Bookkeeper or something else similarly nerdy and themed like that for sure.

I just know that it would turn into some Gotham inside joke with memes abound, and everytime Jason would, I don't know, give more funding to the neglected Arts Departments in Gotham University, or go to a school for read alongs to encourage kids to read, Gotham social media would go crazy and be like:

"The Dreaded Villain Dead Poet Reads Alice in Wonderland to Children! How Despicable!"

"Villain Dead Poet Lambasts Government on Banning Books! Leads Librarians to Riot!"

"Dead Poet Ramps up his Villainy by Establishing Educational Programmes in Crime Alley! Uplifting the Poor! What a Dastardly Villain!"

"Dead Poet Goes on Live Ranting About his Favourite Books! Favourite Author is Jane Austen! Is this the Feminist Agenda?"

And so on! It's a meme that refuses to go away. His siblings actively participate, and make the situation worse.

Dick held an online Gotham Villains and Anti-Heroes Poll and Dead Poet came out on top, over Red Hood. Jason is an actual Gotham crime boss, but his crowdfunded villainsona is more popular. No he's not salty about it at all.

Duke would create a montage of Dead Poet sightings.

Stephanie would make a Dead Poet meme compilation.

Tim would arrange Wayne Enterprises to donate to local libraries after allegedly being threatened by the heinous villain Dead Poet. (Jason did ask Tim to do that but not like that)

Barbara created an extremely popular Villain Watch account for Dead Poet.

Cass tweeted out Jason's favourite books as the villain Dead Poets reading list telling people to avoid them 'wink wonk', causing a massive uptick in the sale of those books ala Bigolas Dickolas.

Damian of all people tweeted out a pic of Jason playing with Alfred the cat accusing the evil villain Dead Poet of attempting to kidnap his cat.

And thats not to mention all the shenanigans they pull in their batsonas.

God bless Gotham and it's home grown, organic, not even remotely ethically sourced, free range chaos.

[kizzer55555]

The Vampire Aesthetic

Ok so Danny knows two billionaires personally and they really couldn’t be more different. Yet they had one thing in common. A vampire aesthetic. Sam is fully into goth. Spiderwebs, bats, the color black. She enjoys fangs and fake blood and the darkness of her soul. Meanwhile, Vlad is Vlad. If his name wasn’t enough, the dark clothing, pale skin, and flying around with a cape and fangs with coffins in his mansion really sells it.

Danny doesn’t know many rich people so he thinks this might be some kind of trend. (If Paulina is rich, her family likes the chupacabra) So he just thinks that all rich people have some kind of vampire thing going on.

Cue Danny somehow ending in the Wayne household. Maybe he was brought over as a friend of one of the bats, maybe rescued from a field trip/vacation gone wrong, maybe some other situation. But he is there in civilian form with civilian Waynes and Danny just takes a good long look around the inside of the mansion.

“So where’s the vampire aesthetic?

Everyone freezes.

Danny just starts looking around, checking behind paintings and feeling the walls for secret levers. Used to secret passages with Vlad and possibly Sam. The Fentons definitely had them when they were temporarily rich.

“Come on, I know you guys are hiding it.”

Cue the entire batfamily thinking that this is another Tim and that he is fully aware that these people are the batfamily. Danny hangs around the mansion more and the bats just start dropping their disguises and not even bothering to hide stuff around Danny because they assume he already knows. (Possibly even trying to recruit him to be a new bat) Meanwhile, Danny, who does not know these people are batman and his birds, just does not pick up on any of it.

He grew up in a health violation with a giant ballon observatory lab above his head and a portal to the afterlife in his basement. He is a half dead teenager who has tea with the god of time and his godfather is the other parent to his clone child. He’s used to death lazers being scattered across his home and mysterious stains on clothing.

People are weird! He doesn’t judge!

[ghost-bxrd]

Prompt:

After some very eventful weeks of Jason’s debut as the Red Hood he takes a well deserved night off and decides to crash in one of his safe houses.

He did not count on one of the Bats finding him there.

So to keep his plans from being torpedoed entirely Jason goes with the split second decision of pretending he was held captive by the Red Hood.

[seilnakyle]

they’re kinda the parents who stepped up