#LMFAO

[comatosebunny09]

Sylus stops by Emcee’s apartment to check on her because he hasn’t heard from her all day.

He would’ve shown up sooner but was caught up with work.

He’s at the door knocking. Muffled music and laughter spill from the other side. Eerily familiar laughter.

Imagine his surprise when Emcee opens up, all smiles and mirth, wearing a sheet mask and cute PJs that could be mistaken for lingerie as music floods into the hallway from behind her. 

Sylus quirks a brow. “Ah. So this is why you’ve been giving me the cold shoulder.” He crosses his arms, leaning against the doorframe, a smirk weaseling onto his face.

Before Emcee can offer an excuse, a voice sounds behind her, somewhere in the living room. “Sorry!”

Emcee steps aside as Sylus straightens, and he’s even more intrigued when he sees you on the couch in a similar state of dress. Only your “pajamas” leave less to the imagination. Given the pillows, blankets, and plushies littering the living room’s floor, he can assume the two of you are up to no good. 

You wave coyly before hopping up from the couch and skipping behind Emcee. “It’s my fault.” You feign disappointment with yourself, your bottom lip jutting out in a pout. “I came here to bring her breakfast, and we just ended up hangin’ out all day.”

You sling an arm around Emcee’s neck, the pair of you wearing twin grins and giggling at a joke Sylus isn’t in on. His suspicious eyes slide to you. 

He isn’t buying your innocent ruse—he sees how your eyes sweep over Emcee. How you subtly yet possessively pull her into your side, and how you look at him all smug as your arm drops from around her shoulders for you to playfully swat her ass. Your brow raises in a quiet challenge.

“Can’t beat ‘em? Join ‘em,” he recalls you once saying. Only, he never expected to be on the receiving end of that statement.

His jaw tightens. He’s conflicted. Does he want to be upset? Sure. But how can he when his two favorite girls are here together, playing nice and getting along famously?

Without him. Half-dressed. Too close. Too friendly. He can only imagine what debauchery could’ve gone down had he not shown up to disrupt your fun.

The imagery makes him pulse. Labored breaths, sweat-slicked skin, your tits pushing together, your cunts slick—

Fuck.

[phagon]

OH MY GOD??

[7975348473]

Holy— Fucking thank you. Somebody gets it 😭🥹🙄🙏🏻✨

hookup culture is actually wild to me because I have to literally be in love to even hold someone's hand.

[someofitwastrue]

happy national puppy day to the Puppy himself

[srue-on-fire]

Just making sure I got everything right. Lines be blurring a little now.

[245inthemorning]

unemployed people when someone talks about their job: i’m getting real severance vibes from this

[itsmyfix]

Ron: STOP! Ahhahaha that’s as far as I can make it mate!

Seamus: Thank god, I don’t think I could’ve gone any further.

Harry: Ron’s a chicken!

Ron: I’m okay with that

Draco: *walks up* Hey what are you guys doing

Harry: We’re playing a game called “gay chicken”. One person puts their hand on the other person’s knee and slides it up towards their crotch and the first person to yell “stop” is the chicken.

Draco: Sounds fun, can I play?

Harry: Sure

Ron: *snickering* Oh this oughtta be good

Harry: *puts his hand on Draco’s knee*

Draco:

Harry: *slides his hand up slowly*

Draco:

Harry:

Draco:

Harry:

Draco:

Harry:

Seamus: *nervously* Um, guys?

Ron: I know you two have a competitive streak, but he’s starting to get real close there…

Draco:

Harry:

Draco:

Harry:

Draco: Stop.

Harry: *looks at his hand that’s now directly on Draco’s crotch*

Ron: Ahh ha ha okay looks like neither of you are the chicken…

Seamus: You can move your hand now, Harry

Harry:

Draco:

Ron: Merlin, Harry, not like that! That’s not what he meant!

Ron: *grabs Seamus, nearly tripping over his feet* Alright mate I think it’s time we get out of here

Seamus: I’ve already seen too much…

Draco: *moans*

Ron: *running* AT LEAST WAIT FOR US TO LEAVE

[solifloris]

ruler over life and death.

[czech-hunter-reject]

the face of an owl that's been better

New York State Parks official IG posted about an owl they rescued but decided to use only the most wretched photos of this creature, including what EYE think is the best bird photograph ever taken

[super-cool-taxi-service]

Hey frisk listen to this funny song

[casualfoxwitch]

since facebook nixed fact checking some really cool things are being shared and I am totally here for it

[warningengine]

[raqualswonderfunblog]

[lanaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa]

for the last few months, not knowing 100 gecs was a band, ive been saying "100 gecs" whenever i meant to say "lmao", "lol" and "lmfao" as a direct result of me misunderstanding this tweet.

my friends knew the band so they didnt have this misconception. and still they just kinda rolled with it??? like imagine something like your friend seemingly randomly saying the beatles, sometimes in all caps in the middle of their messages HELPP

i also thought the amount of "gecs" would change depending on how funny something was, so for example just sort of saying lol at the end of a message would be translated to about 20 gecs. a standard lmao would be about 60 gecs, and a proper LMFAOO was 100 gecs. i had a whole system

[shutinthenutouse]

[disgruntledseagull]

Wow I only gotta pick up a rock!?!?!? What are military academies even for!??!