#Batdad

[bruciemilf]

Bruce: Parenthood is a spectrum.

Clark: Explain that.

Bruce: Sometimes, my kids make me so proud I almost like myself.

Bruce: Other times, I say ‘Well. At least they’re not doing crack cocaine’

[incrediblyaccuratethoughts]

Added another chapter, here we goooo ~~

-

Tim stepped out of the Batcave to grab himself a coffee. He was gone for 10 minutes.

So tell him why as soon as he closes the entrance, he's accosted with the sound of Jason and Damian bickering over the bat computer. The computer he’d been using for the past 5 hours to try and solve an ongoing trafficking ring.

“I told you my fucking number and I’m no liar,” Jason grumbles.

“Shut it Todd, I’m concentrating.”

Why does this always happen to Tim? What god did he piss off enough to regularly put him in the room when his brothers are arguing? What did he do to deserve such slander??

“You wouldn't have to concentrate if you just believed me-” Jason snaps, as Tim starts to make his way down the staircase, quietly stepping between shadows to avoid being seen.

“I refuse to believe that you’ve killed that many people since you were revived.”

“I’mma crime lord, brat. I’ve killed a lot of fucking people. Not to mention the Pit Rage.”

When Tim gets his first peak of the Bat Computer, he doesn't know why he bothered to be sneaky. At a first glance, Jason looks casually relaxed, his feet up on the desk, but his shoulders are tight and his attention is focused on whatever the hell Damian is doing.

Did Tim mention that he didn’t like where this is going? He would like it on record that he doesn't like this one bit.

“Pit Rage or not, that’s a preposterous number.”

“And that’s a good enough reason to hack into the Watchtower for all the information they have on the League of Assassins?”

Oh shit. Oh fuck .

“Father has encrypted folders stored in their databases holding detailed information pertaining to the League of Assassins." Damian sniffs, "If the information we seek is anywhere, it’ll be there.”

Nope, Tim is definitely not a fan of this development. He’d been meaning to see if he could get to that particular file and erase all mentions of Ra’s obsession with him. Tim just hadn’t gotten around to it.

“And you’re what? Going to hack past Oracle?”

“No,” Damian scoffs, “I know the password.”

Tim scrambles for his phone. It’s not his favorite device to hack from but dammit, needs must.

"How the hell did you manage that?"

"As if I'd tell you."

“Sneaky little shit.” Jason sounds begrudgingly impressed.

For a few moments, the cave is filled with the sound of aggressive typing, before Damian makes a small, pleased noise.

“I’m in.”

From this angle he can’t see what Damian typed, but Tim has been breaking into shit he shouldn’t for longer than he should have been able to. He’s just gotta get in before they can download something they shouldn’t.

“Great, where’s the LOA files? Do they even have the LOA files?”

“Of course they do, the watchtower is updated on every major server-”

Tim frantically pulls up backdoors and firewall scanners, hoping he can slip his way inside despite not being connected to a direct network.

“What’s that?”

“We have a task, Todd. Try to stay focused.”

“No, go back. I’ve never seen that before.”

Damian scoffs, but returns to a file labeled, 'The Detective - Project Failed’

See, this is why Tim can’t have nice things. Every time he lets his guard down for even a second, a meddling brother fucks it up for him. Truly a tragic life he leads.

“It’s nothing important. Clearly it wasn’t successful-”

“Open it.”

“This is not a leisurely perusement of information, Todd. We have a task to fulfill.”

“The file was created two years ago. That’s too recent to have been Bruce.”

Damian pauses, cursor hovering over the file. Tim hopes with everything he has that the kid will ignore Jason’s request.

But of course, because the universe hates him, Damian clicks it.

The Detective

Age: 17

Height: 5’6”

Weight: 131 lbs

"I fucking told you it wasn't Batman. That's Robin levels of scrawny."

"I applaud your clearly superior intellect, Todd." Damian drawls.

"Who the hell taught you sarcasm?"

“I didn’t need to be taught, unlike some.”

“Bullshit.”

“I don't see how this is relevant.”

ABILITIES:

Trained by Batman, Nightwing, Batgirl, Lady Shiva

Martial arts disciplines including but not limited to:

Kung Fu, Aikido, Jeet Kune Do, Escrima, Krav Maga, Tae Kwon Do, Judo, Wing Chun, Hapkido, Karate, Savate, Kendo, Ninjitsu, Tai Chi, Leopard Kung Fu and Biangan.

Prefered Weapon

Bow staff

Highly skilled combatant

Master Detective, Tactician, and Strategist

Gifted Intellect

Excels in computer science and inventions

Firm grasp of assorted scientific techniques including biology, engineering genetics, forensic, criminology, acrobatics, stealth, disguise, and escapology.

"So I know I made a joke about this being a Robin, but…" Jason trails off.

"These descriptions are too specific." Damien agrees.

AFFILIATIONS:

Batman and his associates

Leader of Young Justice

Leader of Teen Titans

Justice League associates

League of Assassins associates

"Which fucking Robin worked with Ra's of all people?"

"I am the heir of-"

"Tell me when exactly you lead Young Justice."

“Tch.” Damain scoffs.

PERSONAL CONNECTIONS:

Janet Drake (Mother): Dead

Jack Drake (Father): Dead

Eddie Drake (Uncle): Fake Identity

"Oh fuck ." Jason breathes.

ALIAS:

Timothy (Tim) Jackson Drake-Wayne

Robin - Boy Wonder

Red Robin

The Detective

Alvin Draper

"What kind of alias is Alvin ? What the fuck?"

History:

Defeated King Snake (assisted)

Defeated Clusmaster (alone)

Escaped Bane and Killer Croc (alone)

Defeated Firefly (alone)

'Zero Hour'

Defeated KGBeast (alone)

Kidnapped by Zeus - (escaped alone)

First contact with LOA - apocalypse virus

Defeated Cluemasrer (alone)

Lead Young Justice

'No Man's Land'

Defeated Mr. Freeze and Ratcatcher (alone)

Defeated Darkseid (assisted)

'Titans Tomorrow'

Defended Bludhaven from OMAC's (assisted)

Defeated Secret Society of Super Villains (assisted)

Reassembled Teen Titans

Defeated Obeah Man (alone)

LOA affiliation - Objective: [REDACTED]

“No fucking way.” Jason breathes, and judging by Damain’s silence, he shares Jason’s sentiment.

Tim’s frantic typing is yielding no results. Fuck .

“I didn’t think the kid had it in him.”

“I was not aware that Drake was so… versatile in his skills.”

“That’s a fancy fucking way of saying he’s got a rap sheet longer than Santa’s naughty list.”

“He didn’t strike me as the type to work with Grandfather.”

“Yeah, no shit. When did that even happen?”

“By the dates, it would have been during Father’s disappearance into the time stream.”

“ Oh my fucking god .”

Classification: Potential Heir

Mission Success Rate: 98%

Active Member: N/A

Time of Service: 1y 2m 15d

Kill Count: 8,528

“That number can’t possibly be right.”

“Holy fuck, that’s a higher kill count than me .”

“I refuse to believe this. We need more evidence.” Damian states, scrolling down to the detailed notes.

“He blew up a League base?”

“Not just one. He blew up 7.”

“I don’t understand how he would have had the information-”

Tim’s phone vibrates as finally gains access to the Watchtower. It’s too late to have kept his brothers from seeing what they did, but that doesn’t mean he can’t bury his file.

“It says he that he was favored by Ra’s and… that bastard wanted him to be the next Demon’s Head? What the hell did Timmy do ?”

“I don’t understand.”

The data starts disappearing, and Tim clears his throat. His brothers turn around, staring wide-eyed at Tim’s blank face.

His heart is in his throat and his hands are shaking, but he forces a smirk.

“No one will ever believe you.”

Tim turns and sprints for the door.

Without the copies stored away in the watchtower database, his brothers will be hard-pressed to come up with proof about his crimes and really, he’s heard far too many comments about him being one of the more morally sound people in the family, so it’s not likely that his brothers will be taken seriously, but he's not sticking around long enough to get caught.

Tim’s escape lasts about five minutes.

It’s an epic five minutes, there’s a lot of sick flips and narrow misses involved, but by the end of it, the entire family is on the chase.

Which, Tim thinks wryly, is just fucking perfect as he wheezes under the weight of 200 pounds of sheer muscle.

“You have some fucking explaining to do, Timbo.” The jerk that’s currently crushing all of the air out of Tim’s lungs says, but all Tim can do is wheeze.

The weight lifts and oh . Fuck . Yeah, no wonder Tim was on the verge of breaking a rib, Jason was the one who tackled him.

Rude. Tim weighs like. A third of him. The man could at least pretend to use some constraint.

“Tell me why,” Jason starts in a dangerously low tone, “You have the highest kill count in this family.”

Tim tilts his head, the picture of innocence. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“ Bull. Shit . Damian and I saw the fucking file. Deleting it doesn't change the facts.”

Tim's expression doesn't falter. He’s been rubbing elbows with high society since before he could walk. He’s well practiced in a poker face. “What file?”

Jason lunges for him.

A short scuffle later finds both Tim and Jason separated, Bruce with an arm across Jason’s chest and Dick bodily hauling Tim off the ground.

"What's going on?"

Ah shit, that's Bruce's Batman voice.

"Tim has a kill count higher than me." Jason immediately spits, the snitch.

"He worked with Grandfather."

"He blew up 7 league bases."

Every gaze in the room lands on Tim, and he sighs, admitting defeat and slumping in the hold Dick has him in. Damn the man and his octopus arms.

It was a good run. But the gig is up.

"I was in a… bad headspace." He shrugs ruefully, "Black Canary once told me that shared misery is halved misery.”

“Your ‘bad headspace’ lead to blowing up 7 League bases ?”

Tim shrugs. “In my defense, Ra’s is an asshole who has my spleen in a jar. I think he deserves it.”

The arms tighten around Tim, “He has what -”

”Your spleen ?”

“That does sound indicative of Grandfather’s behavior.”

“What the actual fuck, replacement.”

"You have some serious explaining to do." Bruce says, tone authoritative with no room for argument.

Tim sighs. He just wanted coffee.

An opinion. Jason was the only batkid who did not come with a pre-installed Kill option, that was downloaded, after death, while he was with the League. Dick, Tim and Damian, tho, they came with it, and Bruce had to learn to manually turn it off.

99% success rate with Dick and Damian.

76% success rate with Tim who has not killed anybody, but has contemplated it way too many times for Bruce to be comfortable with.

Edit: for all the people who keep saying "But Tim blew up the League bases with so many people," listen, if Bruce doesn't know, it didn't happen. Don't go snitching on my boy like that.

[theaceofarrows]

12 year old, 4'4ft Jason: Tall people really act like they earned their height

17 year old, 5'10ft Dick: Short people really act like we stole their height

Bruce, internally: [don't laugh, don't laugh, don't laugh-]

-

[Years later]

19 year old, 6'2ft Jason: Hey, remember when I stole your height? Good times

24 year old 5'10 Dick:

Dick: First oF ALL, YOU SASQUATCH SIZED BITCH-

Bruce, internally: [DON'T LAUGH, DON'T LAUGH, DON'T LAUGH-]

[timdrakewhump]

Something something… Tim still flinching when left alone with Jason and feeling so bad about it because if everyone else can move on why can’t he?… Batfam being so desperate to keep Jason close they ignore Tim’s discomfort… maybe even send him home to live by himself so Jason is more comfortable… something something..

[darkcrowprincess]

It's like where you wait for your cabbage patch baby to pop out of the ground. But really for batman it's waiting for you dead son to be resurrected

Bruce Wayne wakes up in the past, five months after Jason Todd died, and spends most days sat beside the grave because he never found out exactly when Jason had come back and he wanted to be there to save him when he did.

From an outside perspective, everyone is extremely concerned.

[maj-b-s]

Reader is a Queen, Bruce is not taking it very well (he thinks reader is a player)

Bruce: Stop dating my SON!

Reader: Jason? never!

Reader: You know what?

Reader: I'm going to start dating him

Reader: even hard! 😏🫢

Bruce: What does that mean?

Reader: Oh, you know what I mean

Bruce: 🤨😨 *starts pulling the mask up*

Reader: Jason and I are getting marri- Bruce what you are doing!? 😰

Reader: CALM DOWN IT WASN'T THE OTHER WAY! SIR, JASON SAVE ME, YOUR OLD MAN WANTS TO KILL ME!! IT WAS NOT A DOUBLE MEANING!! 😰😭😭 I LOVE HIM!!

[ao3sbatfamily]

I know its not Valentine's Day. But this is fuckin adorable and need to share. Enjoy this V-Day 5 + 1 fic.

'What is Love?' by HummusandPeeta

Author: @hummusandpeeta

“Burt Gregg?”

“The world needs s’more people like you!” he says without missing a beat. “I once overheard Burt telling his friend that he enjoys making s’mores whenever he goes camping with his parents.”

Bruce is impressed by Dick’s memorization skills and attention to detail. “What about Mr. Smith, the janitor?” he can’t stop himself from asking, amused by Dick’s creativity.

“I think you’re marbleous!” he recites, flashing Bruce a cheeky little grin.

“Why marbles?” Bruce asks, needing to satisfy his innate curiosity.

“Mr. Smith collects marbles! I found out because I offered to help him clean up one day after school, you know that time when Alfred was sick and I had to wait for you to pick me up but you were stuck in a meeting?”

“I’m sure everyone will appreciate your cards and well-thought-out puns, chum.”

[gothamite-rambler]

When Superman First Met Batman's sidekick

Superman (raising an eyebrow): This is your sidekick?

Nine-year-old Robin (Dick Grayson) sat on the ground, captivated by a bug while munching on crackers. He felt a gentle nudge on his back from Batman's shoe, urging him to pay attention. Looking up, he stood to his feet.

Batman (deadpan): Yes, don't say it.

Superman (curious): Hm… is he not a little boy? Because I'm seriously doubting he's just a little grown up.

Batman (stony-faced): You wouldn't believe me if I lied. Robin, introduce yourself.

Robin (waving excitedly): I’m Robin! I can do flips and tricks. Hug time!

With that, Robin threw his arms around Superman, catching the mighty hero off guard and leaving Batman looking slightly annoyed. He had thought he was the only one who got hugs.

Robin (cheerfully): I’m a big fan!

Superman (smiling warmly): Oh… I needed that right now. Thanks, kid.

Superman patted the kid on the top of his head with a smile.

Batman (yanking Robin back to his side, a tinge of jealousy in his tone): Yep, he can do flips and tricks. Not hug strangers!

Batman gave the boy a friendly pat on the head. Superman blinked, trying to process the whirlwind of information.

Superman (alarmed): Right… um, circling back then. That's a child!

Batman (exasperated): He's my son.

Superman (wide-eyed): That's worse!

Batman (making it worse): I adopted him after his parents… died?

Superman (concerned): What? Did you—

Superman looked at Robin.

Superman (shocked): Did he murder your parents?!

Robin (tapping his chin in thought, mischievous): Hm… I'm not sure. Maybe some candy will help me answer the question.

Batman (sighing): After the mission. I promise, I will take you to the candy store.

Robin (grinning): I'm remembering that and No, he did not kill my parents; a mobster did.

Batman (to Superman, slightly defensive): There, he told you the truth. Are you satisfied?!

Superman (frustrated): He's still a child!

Batman (controlled fury): Why does everyone have this reaction when they meet him? I've had to deal with crooks in Gotham with hypocritical reactions, but I thought you'd understand!

Superman (crossing his arms): Okay, I'll indulge you then. Cool, you have a child sidekick; how old is he?

Robin (sweet, prideful tone): I just turned nine.

Superman (rage shouting): Shut the fuck up! No, he's not! What the fuck is wrong with you, Batman?

Robin hid behind his father's leg, slightly scared at the yelling from the God-like superhero. This made Batman angry.

Batman (shouting): Hey! Don’t cuss in front of my son! He already has to deal with the Joker, but you, of all people, will not swear in front of my boy! You can criticize me for many things, and I won't care, because they aren't true, but don't tell me how to raise my son! He picked that suit—throwing that in there to get it out of the way! And he wants to be a hero!

Robin nodded enthusiastically at Batman's words, especially the part about the suit.

Robin (beaming): Yeah, and no cuss words! Just beating up bad guys! Until I turn 16, then he said I can do both!

Batman (pointing a finger at Superman): If you want to say anything else, Man of Steel, tread lightly. I am not the one! He is my son; I care about him, and I will punch you while holding kryptonite if you scare him again!

Superman (sighing): Oh, geez, I’m sorry.

Batman breathed deeply to calm himself.

Batman (calmly): Your apology is accepted. I'm just tired of this reaction.

Robin (defending his father): Yeah, me and Papa are good heroes! I love crime fighting; it’s fun! Don’t judge us for our awesomeness!

Batman (gently): Robin, I appreciate the awesomeness part, but please don’t call me Papa while we’re on a job or meeting other heroes.

Robin (apologetically): Oh, sorry, Batman. I love you, Batman!

Robin beamed and hugged his father tightly.

Batman (softening): L… Love you too. You’re in a hugging mood today.

Robin (excitedly): It’s a good day! I met your future best friend!

Batman flushed with embarrassment as Superman glanced back and forth between Robin and Batman.

Batman covered his face, heaving an exhausted sigh that reminded Superman of his dad. He could see that Batman was trustworthy.

And Robin took this as his chance to sneak away and climb a tree.

Superman (smirking): I mean… if this kid makes you less of a jerk and realizes we’re friends, then I guess I’ll overlook the potential kidnapping charges.

Batman (sighing in exasperation): I didn’t— Great, thanks. Robin, let’s go— Where did he go?!

Robin (sitting on a tree branch, gleefully): Batman, look how high I climbed!

Batman (frustrated): Dang it, Robin!

Batman rushed to the tree to help Robin down, while Superman simply shrugged, accepting that the man in black had a child sidekick.

[lokutofu]

World’s Greatest Detective fails to correctly identify his children 😭

[angicoforest]

No anatomy just darkness

[fanaticalthings]

Bruce Wayne except he texts like an ominous boomer

wdym you can't tell if he's threatening them?

Based on this post by @mysterycitrus :)

<- Prev Masterlist Next ->

Bonus:

Happy birthday, Tim 🥰

[timdrakewhump]

Not a fan of Batcist EVER but especially with Tim. Bruce? Dick? Jason? He once idolised them all - he probably still does a little. Either way, the power dynamic doesn’t sit well with me. The others I just don’t like because of age and also because it’s WEIRD. not to shame anyone but I am a little.

[maj-b-s]

Bruce going to do some background research on Y/n, to find out about the person Jason is dating (pursuing them)

I would also like to thank those who follow me and like my posts, I really wanted to thank you, this makes my day a lot better, a lot and I really appreciate it.

I would like to do a special, but I don't know how, so I would like to know if you would like me to open the question box.

[ashoss]

some things dont change

[haveihitanerve]

Headcanon that Bruce’s kids have all pulled the ‘you're not my father card’ at some point or the other and by the time steph rolled around he didn't even take it seriously

Of course, the first time dick said it, bruce cried himself to sleep. But by the eighteenth time, he was numb to it. “Dickie just eat your peas.” 

The first time jason did it Bruce pulled him aside and said “i know Im not, but that doesn't mean i don't care for you jason.” by the twenty fifth time he just held up the adoption papers

The first time Tim said it Bruce laughed. “Tim, you literally forced me to adopt you. Yes I am your father.” Tim didn't bother to say it from then on, maybe muttering ‘you're not my dad!’ under his breath at the computer, just for bruce to whisper ominously ‘yes i am.’ 

When Steph said it, full of anger and hate and sadness and fear, bruce just followed her and said “you're right. Im not your father. And i will never be your father. But, if you'll let me, id like to be better.” After that any time steph said ‘ur not my father’ bruce would just respond with ‘never will be’

Cass said “your are my father” and left no room for argument

Babs said “ur not my dad or my father or even close to being any of it, but you are my mom.” bruce just had to accept that

When damian said it bruce just stood there for a solid fifteen minutes rebooting. Dick and jason fell out of their chairs laughing. 

Duke specifically went “ur my dad! My dad! Boogie woogie woogie!’ and bruce was just like ‘bet aight.”