#why cant i just get over shit
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Godddd I fucking hate this ugh
This isn't about the rain btw
#peach speaks#zilla speaks#im tempted to leave a friend's server honestly but i really dont want to#but i might because an ex friend/a person who is very much still associated with a major ex friend is in there#and is a bit more active than i am#i know i should jyst block and move on but discord blocking can be fucking annoying sometimes#i dont wanna bring it up with anyone else or the friend who runs the server cause i dont wanna cause a problem#i already had to soft block two people now because of this shit#i really fucking hate this#but i especially hate causing issues or getting involved with shit#cause i know the outcome#i know itll end badly for me because im not white or popular#im small and people will say im trying to cause shit when im not#im just tired of this#and im getting tired of being scared again#why cant things get better#why cant i just get over shit
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please help me by reblogging ‼️
hello im dylan. i make what money i can through doordashing but that barely covers even half of my bills and nowhere else will hire me rn (slow season in a tourist town). my car payment and car insurance are both scheduled to come out of my bank acct today and i barely have enough to cover the $135 in my checking account leaving me to have to use my credit card for my $150 car insurance. i also really need to buy groceries and get gas which i desperately need to keep working.
i currently am over $1000 in debt on my credit card and i really can’t afford to keep piling up the bills on it. the monthly fee ($99) for my HRT service just came out as well so i really need at least $400.
$155 (insurance) + $99 (hrt) + $60 (gas) + $100 (groceries) to at least get my credit card back down to only owing $1000. ideally i want to pay that all off but i know there’s no way i’m crowdfunding 1400. thank you guys this isnt terribly urgent but the sooner i can pay it off the better. ❤️
$60 / $400
#im so mad. my fucking car insurance price keeps going up and i dont know why. i dont get tickets i drive safely and make my car payments on#time. but nooo geico says kill yourself fagggot#anyway. of course no pressure to donate as always but sharing would be much appreciated#gonna queue this a bunch sorry in advance#thought i was over this!!! but nope. doordash doesnt pay jack shit either#if i cant figure something out ill have to move in w my mom across the country and id probably just kill myself there so! not ideal
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I think the reason your labru fics managed to keep me hooked when i normally don't like a lot of fan content about them is that it's reciprocal. Laios and Kabru both look out for each other and take care of each other, when normally a lot of content for them is focused on Kabru being there foe Laios without much focus on the reverse. I love, love, love Nourish especially, with Laios not really understanding what Kabru's talking about but trying to engage and pay attention anyway, making him a tasty meal so he'll sit down and let himself unwind, and just showing how he cares about people
Thank you so much! You can assume whenever I'm writing from Laios' POV at any given moment I'm beating back the urge to spoil Kabru rotten. I want to give him a wardrobe of full of nice clothes. I want to make him dinner. I want to find him falling asleep at his desk and carry him back to bed. If there are 0 Kabru simps, I'm dead. The threat of complete and utter derailment looms large with every fic I write and I must tread carefully 😤
It doesn't surprise me that a lot of labru stuff focuses more on how Kabru supports Laios than the other way around, since that's how it largely manifests in the series. Laios, being the main character, has a lot of plates he's spinning in the air, but Kabru is uniquely focused on Laios and how Laios relates to his own goals. I'd be curious to count up the panels that has Kabru referring to Laios, both verbally or mentally, and compare it to other characters outside the main party, because I think the results would be quite funny haha
But while there is a disparity, the scenes where Laios reciprocates this support, in my opinion, are arc-defining. Laios, with zero prompting, realizes Kabru would be hungry after his resurrection and makes him something to eat with his own party's supplies. It's Kabru's aversion to monster cuisine that factors into his emotional bid to Marcille, in that you can't make a perfect menu that looks the same for everyone. And, crucially, Laios promises to share a meal with Kabru that doesn't include monsters. For the entire series, Kabru wanted to know whether Laios could be interested in people as much as he was interested in monsters, if he could prioritize people over monsters, and this is where he gets his answer. This is what convinces him to put his trust in Laios enough to help him escape from the Canaries and to let him try and talk down Marcille. Because Laios demonstrated he was capable of taking people's i.e. Kabru's wants and needs into consideration, even if it had nothing to do with monsters.
Labru appeals to me because of everything they have to offer each other, yes, but mostly because of everything Laios has to offer Kabru. Here you have this character who is routinely seen to have a suppressed appetite, who makes himself smaller in order to be more appealing to the people around him, who makes space for and services everybody but himself, and here you have this other character walk right up to him and say, "You look hungry. Let me make you something to eat."
#dungeon meshi#dunmesh spoilers#labru#oops all meta#i could talk about them all day ...#big reason why i dont vibe with kb/ms tbh#if you'll indulge me for a second lol#this isn't to say i don't think mithrun can't or is unable to or wouldn't want to reciprocate kabru's care of him#(although the one time kabru actively prioritizes his own goals over mithrun's mithrun ends up beating the shit out of him haha)#but i can easily imagine a story where mithrun relearns how to have desires through a desire to take care of kabru#but that's just it; narratively you're still filtering any compelling character growth through mithrun#taking care of kabru would be tertiary to that#narratively kabru would be just so painfully secondary in anything crunchier than a coffee shop AU and i cant get into that haha#unless you just started making stuff up#and let's be real it would be stuff that's still meant to gel with mithrun's baggage first and foremost in order to be interesting#it has been 0 days since ive gone after kb/ms even though nobody asked lolol#im sorry the reasons i don't vibe with kb/ms are legit just a good jumping off point for labru meta lmaooo#meanwhile laios taking care of kabru is one of the first things he does for him
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killer eating food in front of horror as a way to taunt him. duuuude do you see this delectable parfait he has in his hands right now. he just put a spoonful in his mouth. horror is scratching at his own arms right now (trying not to jump this bitchass). killer can't even taste it LMAOOO another bite ‼️ imagine not being able to eat food 🤣🤣🤣 killer can't even taste it and enjoy the food but horror can't even EAT food
then horror grabs the parfait glass out of his hands and oh killer you should probably teleport away before horror does to you what undyne did to his eye
#this SOUNDS mean but this is actually just their daily behavior. average horrorkiller interaction#the nice version of this is that killer eats the foods in place of horror#horror cant eat anymore but at least he gets to see someone else he doesnt mind eat. which is ok for now#however that's only a pipe dream for now we get horrorkiller mauling at eachother like rabid animals#something i like about horrorkiller is that they are NOT evenly matched at all#in kist i feel like dust could win if he gives like 400% but with horrorkiller????#NO DAMN WAY‼️💀 horror gives 400% and then killer just knocks him over again like a badly balanced figure#horror's strong but hes not strong enough to do anything to killer that he wont allow#which is just so funny. horror could have his original eye back and be at full power and killer just pins him down again#also people think that horror would hate killer for what he did in smthnew but it lowkey could be equal#like horror's rambling to killer about all the bullshit that happened in horrortale with queen undick and alphys the betrayer bitch#and then he gets to the part where he tricked snowdin into eating humans#and OBVIOUSLY horror's lying and trying to make himself seem innocent but killer's smarter than that#and after all that horror's just given this quick and barely discernable glance of contempt from killer#like MAN killing everyone is one thing but forcing them to eat humans?? that shit was so bad it made killer FEEL in stage 2 💀#it stings. horror doesnt wanna admit it (because WHY WOULD HE CARE ABOUT KILLERS OPINION!!!) but he's lowkey piiiiissed#its a mood swing but not one of those agressive loud violent ones. nah. horror ghosts killer#not that killer tries to get him to talk to him. he doesnt care enough. plus hes an eeeensy bit mad at horror too for what he did#i WOULD say horror gets over it but from what horrortale's shown he can hold 7 year long grudges. so erm#and thats why horrorkiller woukd never happen everyone! alright thanks for watching that's a wrap#you will never catch me talking about horrorkiller in a romantic way horror is an ARO man!!! he doesnt feel romantic attraction dare i say#and he'd rather die than be attracted to killer in any way anyways. and killer's just there. unlabelled uncaring unknowing king#killer doesn't have a stable sense of identity that just makes it even easier to slap a big ol HE DOES NOT CARE on his forehead#tricule rant#killer sans#horror sans#murder time trio#utmv#sans au#horrorkiller
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i truly have no tolerance for this fandom shittin on random fans personal trans headcanons. someone saw themselves and their experience in this character, isnt that beautiful? why dont you mind your business and focus on your own fan stuff? wouldnt that make you happier? someones headcanon doesnt negate yours. what the fuck is wrong with yall. its playing make believe x2. its just a headcanon. real life trans folks are in active danger right now and some of yall are wasting all your energy abusing others over which pronoun set figments of someone elses imagination 'should' be using
#our t#this is *any* trans hc it doesnt matter the flavour of the trans headcanon. i dont have time for that shit i have real problems#if i see one more fight over jegbert or dave on this site i s2g#if june happens on screen like if we SEE june happen on screen then that will be canon. even for a single panel she will be canon#but genderbend aus have existed since the dawn of fuckin time and an au isnt gonna suddenly blast june's canon transness outta existence#like what are yall TALKING about.#and im saying 'if' w/ a heavy fuckin sigh bc while the hsbc team has stated that they have plans no one knows#when or where or how thats gonna happen. i want it to happen & i have my own hopes for how it will but we'll just have to see#but this aint abt rep yall just want justification to punch e/o in the face & call it 'fighting against ur intercommunity oppressors'#or whatever cause none of yall are brave enough to get organized#and actually try to make changes in ur communities.....headcanons will never be actual representation#as for dave. yall know that transmascs and cis boys also struggle with masculinity right? esp hegemonic pressures and ideals?#thats kinda what LE is about? thats why so many trans guys see themselves in the striders. thats why i think theyre supposed to be cis#but thats ALSO why so many transfemme folks see themselves in dave. and that should be rlly beautiful!!! we're not so different!!!#its almost like that power structure harms everyone in different ways bc of how we treat e/o inside of the structure!!!!!#i cant TELL you how many of my cis guy friends have cptsd from just not being allowed to express sadness or joy in an acceptable way#and davepeta being nonbinary only adds to this!!! davepetas existence in contrast to dave DIRECTLY MIRRORS roxy in meat/candy#but yall are never gonna be fuckin ready for that so what the fuck ever i guess#i just feel constantly forced outside of this fandom or scorned as a Bad Tranny bc im very literally in the middle of this shit#and i dont believe one style of presentation is inherently better or morally righteous than the other. like what are yall expecting#are yall expecting to be let into tranny heaven bc u wear a skirt and say 'haha yeah all instances of mascness is grossss' be for real#just rlly highlights the fact that no one in this fandom wants to care abt intersex trans ppl or hear them talk or try to#contribute to gender analysis. its not girlboss enough i guess. sorry for not drinking the radfem rhetoric thats embedded itself#into this site i suppose. hope the fandom gets better but idk i dont think thats gonna happen anytime soon#stop treating femininity as smth inherently Morally Good its all 'divine feminine moon phase' bullshit slightly repackaged#to include transfemme folks. which none of yall should want. its a direct pushback to actual feminism but ok all mascs evil bc LE i guess#im not missing the fact that this fandom cracks down hard on queer mascness & tries to 1:1 equate that hegemonic cismasculinity either#yall aint slick at all. sorry im just. fucking tired. feeling like i dont exist & my words dont matter
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MORE INSANE EKKY QUOTES ABOUT FORSY HAVE HIT THE TOWERS IM SORRY WE'RE CALLING HIM A SPECIMAN AGAIN AND ALSO WE SAYING WE SHOULD ASK HIM TO TAKE OFF HIS SHIRT. OKAY.
AND ALSO FORSY QUOTE ABOUT EKKY IN THE SAME ARTICLE BECAUSE OF COURSE WHAT THE FUCK
DO YOU WANT ME TO DIE!?!?!?!?@
#aaron ekblad#gustav forsling#florida panthers#GIRLS WHAT THE FUCK#CAN FORSBLAD STOP BREATHING FOR 5 SECONDS#“ask him to take his shirt off and you’ll understand why he can play so many games”#ekky you couldve worded in such a different way and alas#hes so strongggg like ask him to take his shirt off and youll GET it#girl we can just use his preformance on the ice and minutes as proof why do we-#EKKYYYYY#“hes a specimen” CAN YOU CHILL#“very easy to play with very smart very calm”#you notice the difference between praise here 😭😭😭😭#ekky thristing over forsys body meanwhile forsy is like hes so smart!#i cant make this shit up#“we’re very good friends too so its been unreal”#YOU DONT SAY#MR EKKY TOOK ME OUT FISHING#“hes alsp a fan of his partner ekblad” SAY IT LOUDER BITCHES RECIPROCATE OUT HEREEEE#WORKING RELATIONSHDOGP#I LVOE PKATING WITH FORSY#I NEED TO JUMP#RHWHWJDNGFIKWJFNG G
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People who say erza "doesn't show any signs of trauma the way other characters do" and is therefore not a complex character, then complain about her social awkwardness, rigid personality, generally hostile outward appearance and tendency to resort to violence as a fix all solution in the same breath make me so genuinely angry.
#yknow you can just not like a character right#you dont need to make shit up#“she was so mean to everyone on galuna”😥😥NO SHIT. THATS THE POINT.#Shes been shown genuine kindness in her life by exactly ONE GUY. SHES LOYAL TO HIM AMD HIS RULES ABOVE ALL ELSE#early on especially her sense of morals where good for guild=good bad for guild=bad#AND YEA THATS NOT A GOOD THING. THATS WHERE THE DEVELOPMENT COMES IN YOU MORON.#“shes not as traumatized as somone like gray hes way more complex”😒😒#she shows it in different ways.#to this day she cries alone if she can help it#to this day she cant stand to relive the memories#yea she gets better overtime but why is that a bad thing??#shes still got issues but shes so much more comfortable being herself now and honestly i don't think thats bad#fairy tail#erza scarlet#erant over my fault og#never go on reddit you start ranting and raving#fairy tail erza
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I love fics when the JL meets the Batfamily randomly because (1) All of the bats have Bruce's mannerisms when wearing the mask so its basically 8 batmans (with varying colours) roaming around the watchtower but two or three are nice and one might shoot you if you aren't Wonder Woman and (2) The family of detectives are all so oblivious to the fact that the JL doesn't know them.
And yeah they know The OG Robin runs the Titans and the Zombie one runs the Outlaws but they're so different and the same?? Like you genuinely don't know who is who but the one with the sword is related to Ra's al Ghul and the one who doesn't talk is related to Lady Shiva so sometimes things get awkward.
But then you have the fact that the blue one calls Superman Uncle Kal and the red one calls Wonder Woman Auntie Di so there's that. And at least 1 bat is dating someone else's protégé so there's really no saving them.
The Justice League seeing the Bats and seeing them bagging their previous sidekicks ladies, gentlemen and non binary individuals:
Green Arrow watching The Crime Lord Bat pick up Lian from Daycare and then pat Roy on the back promising that he'll make dinner tonight.
Wonder Woman and Flash watching Cassie and Bart flutter around the stalker Robin who's doing the Bat thing with his cape and looking so much like his dad Barry thinks he might faint.
Barry flabbergasted because Wally is lying on Acrobat Robin's lap while he talks to one (?) of his wives who herself is eyeing the first Wonder Girl.
Superman watching his cousin flock around Batgirl (Acrobat Robin's wife?) while she's dotted on by Zatanna and the other wife (+Donna).
Wonder Woman watching Yara be in awe of the silent bat,the purple one and the yellow one (who apparently works the day shift??). Donna's flocking around both of Dick's wives and Cassie is still with the stalker Robin.
Half of the JL completely stunned because Superboy (the little one who is still little) is fluttering around sword Robin and hanging onto every word he says. The older superboy is carrying stalker Robin around like its a normal occurrence. Bruce and Clark don't even bat and eye about it.
#dc comics#batfam#the justice league#the batlings having Bruce's mannerisms is so important to me#and the justice league losing their shit over it#the bats can pull any and everyone one#they get it from daddy dearest (half of the gotham rogues are his exes)#now clark and diana know like the first three robins personally but they love pretending they dont to mess with the rest of the league#they are genuinely surprised their protégés are down bad for them though#cant imagine why when one of them is always listening to Bruce's heartbeat and the other is always checking up on him#again the bats can pull ANYONE and if given the chance they'll pull EVERYONE#and yes I did fix the “who does Dick marry?” debate. he marries both#theyre his wives and their each other's wives#idk why dc is acting shy they just date each other duh
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i actually love thinking about preS4 vinerva and how their relationship deteriorates throughout the season and how it relates to the clemvi romance and just violets character in general but unfortunately some people cant be normal about them so instead i just gotta keep it to myself
#childhood friendship to romance with a tragic ending thats about accepting new love like i just think thats fun and interesting#the whole point is violet moving on from minerva!!! which is why her bad route is about wrongly putting her faith back into minnie#and goes BLIND!! do you Get It??#(which she later apologizes to clem about recognizing she reacted poorly. and clem accepts her apology and admits her own blame in it)#but no. “violet never got over minnie” and minnie being an evil demon as far as the eye can see#maybe theyre actually both complex and layered characters who have been through traumatizing events that made them act accordingly 😱#no... that cant possibly be it... they must just be evil teenage girls...#violet ever loving minnie at all is treated like a crime by some people god forbid she struggle with those feelings 🙄#every time i post art of the 3 of them i get at Least one person saying Some Shit 😑 and its really annoying#heard my clemviminnie pride art got reposted to reddit. Fear.#and when i went to find it i saw vi lost to ben in the 2nd round of a “best written character” poll. and i knew i could never go back there#twdg#it speaks
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Oh hey guess who's not sleeping and just remebered can post to Ao3
#sonic prime#dreamtale#nine tailed travel guide through the multiverse#figures I could post it there cuz why not#should really get to writing the second chapter#its just a mess of draft with so many paragraphs that go nowhete hdgdhdhd#sleep after I sleep I swear I need sleeping pills or something#an enforced schedule maybe but that literaly just makes me want to sleep even less hhhh#i cant be helped#anywaaay#miles nine prower#nine the fox#sonic the hedgehog#miles tails prower#me when I finish writing#im so shit at tagging on Ao3 please help#over the hills
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ive been unhealthily fixated on kubosai for the past few weeks, i just have no idea how to put it into words. kuboyasu aren and saiki kusuo are in love btw
#they are.#been thinking a lot about t*rusai and k*bosai and all three of them together#(really long rant in these tags that shouldve been a rant post but im not changing it soz i got carried away LMAO->)#see the thing is that k*bosai is my absolute favorite ship ever. but i get genuinely pissed when people smack talk t*rusai#idk like i get why people wouldnt ship kbs and i really dont care. and i also get that a lot of people have differing opinions and-#wont ship trsai. i honestly cant wrap my head around why (other than people who just hate teruhashi and are misogynistic) but im okay with-#agreeing to disagree and i dont care yk??#but people so often make these long discussion posts just yapping and yapping and making up shit about how trsa 'wouldnt work'#and its always just... actual complete bullshit. like unreadable word vomit.#sorry. but its true.#thats why it gets me so mad#i cant think of a single reason why you would feel the need to do that#why cant you be normal and just. not like a ship. just dont like it. hate it even. but dont make up shit just to shit on it#its so dumb i have to force myself to just scroll past them every time i encounter one#usually on tiktok or tumblr#if i read them i wont be able to stop myself from making the most concerned and upset noises ever cuz what is actually wrong with you#theyre always the biggest dumbest stretches ever and they ignore their actual development and pretend it didnt happen#it just makes me wonder why people are so okay with making fun of that ship but get mad if anyone even dislikes theirs#and then they complain about people 'shitting on their opinion'#LIKE ?? NOBODY CARES THAT U HATE THE SHIP. I CERTAINLY DONT GAF.#but ur in the main tags advertising ur hatred for it and sounding stupid as shit for no reason? UR SHITTING ON PEOPLES SHIP ON PURPOSE#AND THEN GETTING MAD AT ANYONE WHO EVEN SAYS 'i disagree actually' IM LAUGHING SO HARD STOP IM KILLING MYSELF#the one time i ever talked in that much detail about why i disliked a ship was bevause somebody specifically asked me#and yk what ?? i have literally gotten death threats over it. im not allowed to hate that ship but everyone else can do whatever i guess#okay sorry. rant over.#is that controversial i cant tell. i dont really care and im not tagging anyway#meows post
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i f. i fucking forgot a pencil so i cant scribble out this Thought i had while on a lil road trip today - basically i was thinkin about Wally, as ya do, and i asked myself why does Wally eat with his eyes? its such a Fascinating yet somewhat Out Of Place choice for him. how did Clown come up with that? its so unique. it stands tf out.
and then i remembered Frank & Poppy's convo for their 'bug' audio, and how he says "you eat with your eyes first" and like... thats a real phrase. ive heard it in my life. & it set off lil alarm bells in my head the first time i listened to the clip, i just hadnt connected the dots yet. so its feasible that thats why Wally eats the way that he does - and an in-universe explanation could be that Wally heard the phrase before he could learn how to eat 'properly', and took it literally
essentially:
Frank: you eat with your eyes!
Wally: *rdj meme format* you eat with your eyes
#also dont have wifi so i cant type out my musings on my laptop#and typing on my phone kinda Hurts#so! this is a note to myself to Talk About This and Scribble a silly thing Later!#in a couple of days!#no wonder he only eats when no one is looking....#they all eat Normally but hes over there like 'oh shit oh fuck i dont know how to do that. uhhhhhhh'#i imagine he heard it and immediately internalized it forever#core memory. this action will have consequences. new skill unlocked. this cannot be undone.#wally just casually fucking with the laws of reality.... good for him! good for him#i mean why not!#its not like he knows what reality is! or the laws of physics! he doesnt have to obey what he doesnt understand!#someone says You Can Do This and hey. look at that. he can!#and wow this beef jerky im eating tastes like chemicals.#absolutely unprompted#homebogging#welcome home speculation#wh speculation#I HAVE BEEN SITTING ON THIS. FOR HOURS. DYING TO WRITE IT OUT AND POST#BUT I WAS IN THE CAR AND I GET CARSICK SO EASILY#so i couldnt....#but now! now i am in this motel! relaxing! not moving! AND I CAN POST!!!!#anyhow i really need to get on posting more Thoughts bc i have so many#on wally's behavior on other characters & dialogue choices and just!!! Agh!!!!#speculation galore!!!!#ill have to wait though! sadly!#damn. i cant draw i cant Post. whats a bitch supposed to do#good thing i brought my crochet project smh#and a book <3
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Cant and wont stop thinking about how Lae'zel is probably one of the most romantic people in camp once she relaxes a bit and how much Shadowheart would be absolutely blindsighted by this
#like imagine Shart getting that last romance scene like the poor thing wouldnt know what to do with herself#shadowzel#has taken over my life#i have like 4 fics going... why cant i just finish fics anymore#i have smuts a modern cult au cute fics just everything going at once... need to focus on One#anyway though just thinking about how quick sh warms to the player character with the smallest amount of kindness#laezel is not kind but the Big romance would do the trick#and probably scare the shit outta shart
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👍
#i went to sleep at 3am and its 6am now bc i criedmyself to sleep 👍👍#sorry to ventdump my annoying insecurities again#i cant bring myself to do something i really want anymore#been having these thoughts since last year but this year its a lot more apparent#ideas are not scarce but the motivation/time to execute them are#i wish i could take an indefinite break on taking commissions bc by the time im finished with all of them im too burnt out/1#to draw for my blog and by the time it passes my motivation for these ideas also vanishes/2#I cant actually stop now bc im still an unpaid internee working for experience+portfolio so I need the money#I feel like shit whenever i can't get art done at the appropriate timing (ex: thematic holiday/character bday/event etc)#everything passes too fast and its already too late and the hype dies#its so hard to stay relevant and charismatic enough#Looking back I can't say im 100% satisfied with ANY art i posted this year#“was it worthy? is it still relevant? did I waste my time doing this?”#im too overly emotional over this (unfortunately) popular fictional lion beastman#“I want to yume/draw him more often/talk more about him!”#why? hes already popular enough. He has louder and more popular users who do that for him. nobody would care if it's you.#you'd get a swarm of hate. nobody would send you nice asks about it.#you don't get nearly half of the asks you used to receive back then. people just aren't interested in you anymore.#maybe you should delete your blog and start drawing trendy doodles of whatever is being hyped up at the moment.#.#if I can't execute original ideas what's the point of it?#I hate HATE having to do trendy art of whatever unfunny meme is being hyped up at the moment#but sometimes its necessary for the algorithm to boost you and to get some actual crumbs of engagement and new followers#what else can I do? being interesting on your own or having an interesting oc is no easy feat. I envy those who manage.
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Day 347 | id in alt
Kugisaki hasn't been around Gojo enough to gaf about him LMAO.
#dailykugisaki#jjk#kugisaki nobara#shoko ieri#okay rant time yall#i know some folkos might be mad that i make it seem like shoko is a wet fucking rag which she kinda is kinda isn't#shes clearly capable in her area although in a very she's using what she knows in a different way than shes used to#Shoko unfortunately was EXTREMELY dependent on Gojo's decisions and i hate gege for showing that#most of her actions included gojo in some degree which unfortunately made the decisions in which she needed to say things#she made those decisions based around what gojo would do#letting getos body go uncremated letting gojo killed geto himself ect ect#she didn't involve herself because gojo was gonna do it anyway and i think that mentally effected her bad#so turned herself into her work. somebody that deals with corpses becoming a single minded corpse herself. funny aint it#she has jokes but she isn't very used to having somebody focused on her for a decision she made#because Okkotsu didn't even fucking say a thing about her when his ass came back so i think it would be funny if Kugisaki kinda loathed her#like yes Shoko. your decisions effect others that arnt Gojo did you get jumpscared and then shoved back into reality? i hope you did#she dosent speak. words arnt really her thing where actions mostly are.#so shes trying to do things that help and thats funny because shes kinda ass at it#like helping burying somebody and like preparing for the worst after you fucked somebody over#shoko i see you#also girl why is the only version of self care you have ever done FLINGING YOUR FUCKING CIGARETTE AWAY#why is that your only version of self care and not getting over your damn alcoholism. weirdoooo#Kugisaki using herself as a frame of reference for bad shit. girl i see you LOL#hope that Shoko shit makes sense because she definitely does shit. she knows what she's doin#but before gojo died. well gojo was sort of like a fucked up version of a higher up for her idk#Shoko isn't a pushover. Kugisaki is just mad as hell.#shoko is an asshole that sucks at walking forward but she hurts while healing too so...girl what the fuck#she cant do much or anything with the kids except heal them in a way that dosent quite matter anymore
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#vent#why cant i get used to things#like why am i crying this isnt something not normal you do this all the time#i dont want to#i feel like a fucking kid wtf why am i crying#get over urself nothings gonna work out#i dont get it when do stuff stop hurting??? because i hate this so much#i hate everything i hate my life rn i really really truly wish i was dead now#i wish i was braver because then i could be#but im not. and i hate it#everythings just shit always and i dont understand why people are just ok with it. cant life be better maybe? i would like it then#and i cant so anything to fix any of my problems and idk what to do#i really dont wanna do any of these things#i hope i die i feel bad about it but i kinda really do hope so… even if its rude to my family i feel so bad about it i love them#but i fucking hate this
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