#“we’re very good friends too so its been unreal”
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ratatatastic · 3 months ago
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MORE INSANE EKKY QUOTES ABOUT FORSY HAVE HIT THE TOWERS IM SORRY WE'RE CALLING HIM A SPECIMAN AGAIN AND ALSO WE SAYING WE SHOULD ASK HIM TO TAKE OFF HIS SHIRT. OKAY.
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AND ALSO FORSY QUOTE ABOUT EKKY IN THE SAME ARTICLE BECAUSE OF COURSE WHAT THE FUCK
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DO YOU WANT ME TO DIE!?!?!?!?@
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chihirolovebot · 1 year ago
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okay okay prepare for my ranting but OHHHHHHHHHMYGOD i just love your writing so so much.
you just AHSHSTGGFF ARE SOOOOO GOOD AT GETTING THE READER HOOKED. I SWEAR . ITS UNREAL.
no joke . i’ve reread sleep awake probably about 4 times now. it has been on my mind for the past month. send help .
I LOVE LOVE LOVE physicist’s relationship dynamics with the rest of the cast. thank goodness we’re not isolated with kokichi the whole story. ohmygod. i think i’d die.
i feel like . phys could really do with a massive cry in rantaro’s arms. he became a brotherly figure so quickly for them and AUGHHHthey make me so upset. him preventing a meltdown too?? WAAAAAHHH … gotta love him for that. hopefully we’ll get to see more of him in here is where my body lies .
SPEAKING OF THAT. i’m looking forward to seeing the bad endings / alternate universes in it. like … if kirumi killed phys. or korekiyo succeeded in killing phys. or …if kokichi didn’t walk in when gonta attempted to kill phys . ohmygod. phys almost died a lot. i hope we get to see how everyone reacts. ANYWAY i can’t wait to see phys and the others be happy. what the hell. i need this in my life.
back to friendship dynamics….the trio recently formed by BELIEVING in phys??? is just AUGHHHHH SO SO CUTE. THEY HAVE MY HEART. I WANNA GIVE THEM ALL A HUG.
and…with the main man himself …. WOW. just. WOW. their dynamic is everything. they make me wanna cry. they are married. they are divorced. they are nerds. they are losers. they are. my everything. they are
“And yet—this deal he’d made you. That was trust, naked and unmistakable. That was far more than he’d offered anybody else. Everything else aside, Kokichi trusted you. Wasn’t that enough? 
If the small pit in your stomach was anything to go by—no, it wasn’t. And you didn’t know why”
WAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH THEY JUST MAKE ME SICK. SO SICK. i’m really curious how phys will react to kokichi’s plan for *you know what* or that he’ll just keep them in the dark. again. because he knows they wouldn’t let him? I DONT KNOW. whatever it is. i’m not ready for it.
despite the tears that i’m gonna shed in the future ……..IM EXCITED TO SEE THE NEXT CHAPTERS PLAY OUT. im looking forward to the changes you’re gonna make in chapter 6. really curious what that’s gonna be .
you’ve captured kokichi’s character to a tee and i can’t get enough of it i swear .
i love that phys has autism too. like. if it isn’t completely obvious by now. so do i and it’s just. wow. THEY R JUST LIKE ME!!!!
also. i’m very excited to see where you take that persona 5 fic. wink wink.
ANYWAYS LOVE YOU FOR THIS. THIS IS THE BEST FIC I’VE READ EVER . I COULD GO ON AND ON ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE IT. GOODBYE .
HELLO FOR THE LOVE OF GOD HELLO .
ur so kind this is like. one of the sweetest asks ive ever received i was pacing all day and im just answering now because i wanted to have the time to write out a thoughtful response because ohhghgh my god u made my absolute week with this thank you SO much my angel !!!!!
starting this story it was so important to me that like . phys has Other Friends. i think i mentioned this before but i think a big part of the story is that Ouma's mindset is wrong and unhealthy which is definitely starting to be examined this late in the story and like. the way he goes about doing stuff is definitely (mostly) well-intentioned but his mindset and philosophies are so Off and Wrong that i think ONLY having his mindset to influence Phys would a) ensure that phys only develops in a way that makes them more like him, which is NOT good because his mindset is wrong and unhealthy, and b) would make them extremely lonely when that isnt what i want the story to be about. if i COULD i would go back and give them some more interaction with momota because he's ouma's foil character, but i like him giving phys advice and phys taking on bits of his philosphy, too. they basically take an amalgamation of their friends' perspectives and learn to have a healthier outlook that way. so yeah . its super important for phys to have friends, especially optimistic ones like momota, kiibo and chabashira .
MY BODY LIES!!!! i haven't forgotten about this, just planning on properly starting it after i finish sleep awake's main story because between that , my p5 fic, and my jojo fic its kind of A Lot. but amami will DEFINITELY be a prominent character in it because i love his and phys's relationship so much. i tried to stretch it as much as possible in the original story before i knew i had to kill him off :(( and YEAH so i think a bad ending will be the first chapter which will probably be if shinguuji succeeded in his murder attempt , mostly focusing on the aftermath and the effect it has on the rest of the characters which . was pretty heavy for a first chapter so i may make it the second instead lmao.
I CANT SAY MUCH ABT FUTURE STUFF but i CAN say that some of ch5 and a fair amount of ch6 will be different and im super excited to show you what i have in store for it !!! the tone i'm going for is bittersweet so . hopefully that tides you over for a bit :3
the new trio... the phys apostles as i'm calling them. they're so silly to me. something about each of them knowing phys in very unique ways . kiibo seeing phys as soon as they woke up and always being the first to believe in them , chabashira seeing phys after they killed shinguuji and being the only person to see that side of them, and saihara being a sort of mirror to phys's grief in the early chapters after they both lost the most important person to them ( at that time ). i thought it made sense that they would all be a little more reluctant to believe that phys had been totally brainwashed because they all have a lot more respect for them than that , and also just . know them better as a person than the others , who are definitely still well-intentioned , just ignorant.
ouma... my little freakweirdo bf . characterising him is such a challenge but im so so happy you enjoy how i've done it !!!! physouma's dynamic is my favourite i've ever written in anything, i think . it's exactly like you said !!! they're constantly on this weird emotional journey where phys is attempting to get closer and ouma is attempting to distance himself but its not working because they both care about each other so much and like. yeah . they make me a bit insane too . writing phys slowly discovering their feelings has been super fun too . i usually dislike the oblivious love interest trope because more often than not it feels like it's played for miscommunication problems BUT i feel like with ouma it only makes sense because like . its impossible to know where you stand with ouma even if he straight-up says 'im in love with you' you'd just be like ?? yeah ok buddy sure. good one . you got me.
autistic phys is so real to me as i obviously also have autism and . i was projecting super hard when i created them teehee. THE PERSONA FIC !!!! i know its been a while since i updated but i AM working on the next chapter its definitely not abandoned :3
THANK U AGAIN SO SOSOSOS MUCH FOR THIS . I HOPE UR HAVING THE BEST DAY EVER <333
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qvirkycrxxtvre · 5 months ago
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Dear Reader diary ass post blog thing
I’m like constantly bothered I never figured out orgasms like I told myself I would do it before ever getting pregnant like idk like I wanted it to be a threshold like okay if someone takes the time to figure that out with me then I’ll have his babies but literally no lol my husband has no interest or understanding on how to do that and whereas I’m free to figure that out independently it’s like, lame bc I realize like
I still feel like I’m mildly missing out or something idk like I’ll always be reflecting on the times from before I got married where I knew I got wet and it was a whole thing I used to be like, through my jeans wet back in the day fooling around in cars at like 19 but I was just so so afraid of getting pregnant (I guess like, it’s always on my mind and since I didn’t get proper sex ed bc purity culture and conservative parents ,,) it was just very like, idk I thought that’s what happened when people had sex so I wasn’t going to need to figure out sex until I wanted that to happen
So I fucking waited and did the whole damn thing like okay I’ll figure it out with my husband
but it’s like damn now it’s literally I either figure it out independently or nothing and like I kinda do right like it’s not impossible the way it was once like a concept and not a physical thing I could describe
but its like idfk I play DnD right and our friend the DM that we jokingly call Daddy Master
when dude was like “GAH I’m like full of testerterone rn” and I was trippin balls on mushrooms fucking coping w ovulation like I had to fight every fiber in my being from being like
God what I wouldn’t give to get fucking railed by you rn and let you take that out on me
Even if it’s not even like /for me/ I feel like if I got the chance to be fucked really good like, maybe I’d figure out orgasms. But like. Alas.
Bruh I get all annoyed tryna come up w reasons to set that up, like I was like oh what if I pitch swinging or whatever the upside down pineapple people be doin but then I realized my husband would also need to be useful to trade not just me? Like I literally caught him on Ashley fucking Madison whilst I was pregnant like my brain tells me he wouldn’t be super against it but I know that’s not true like his kink is literal monogamy or some shit and he was only on there to look at stuff that felt more secret like idk that sounds unreal but my husband didn’t even have his profile set to near us , I know he had no intent to leave or whatever and we talked it out and said like if he needs whatever online we’re fine we just have to tell each other before doing shit w other people
But like neither of us have budged or tried it idk
I know in my heart he’s abiding by our rules and that I should just tell him that I’m going insane and can’t be around our guy friends whilst ovulating bc it makes me wanna implode bc I sincerely like
Dude I went years forgetting I could get wet bc I just like idk wet sexually inactive the past however many years I’ve been married but like
It all still works
I masturbate and can soak my side of the bed like I remember being like /fuck this’ll be cool when I have sex/ and it just never ever got to happen
Ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh
Off to go jackoff to y’all’s dirty posts
I hate that I don’t understand it like I feel too old to be this virginal I feel like this is such a waste of good cunt like
Dude my mouth too like I had a really rough fight w bulimia as a teen so I got like no gag reflex like I can swallow some big cock hypothetically
Ugh I hate knowing I know multiple of my guy friends have giant cocks I get to do nothing about
Also bc more often than not, like, I befriend rather good men. So whereas I look at them as a piece of meat in my head, these are kinda just like
Average husband type whatever guys
That like no one seems to fucking want like why are my guy friends single
I feel like I would stop fucking them in my head if I wasn’t the only married one right like I would have double guilt or something bc I’d be wronging another woman?
Not to say I don’t feel bad and like I’m wronging my husband for mentally fucking friends like obviously there’s some 10 commandments shit about being just as bad imagining fucking your neighbors wife as doing the action itself
I think
Idk did I already write this? Oh whale. You’ll see I repeat myself a lot. A lot of my life is repetitive. Ugh.
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awkwarddystopianwarlord · 1 year ago
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A Good Day to Drive Hard
A ton of quirky, coming-of-age, summertime teen movies feature road trips. Or at least, that is what my brain is currently telling me. Well, I know not if I fall into the correct “quirky” category these characters do, I’m nearly a quarter of a century old, and I hate summer…but a road trip with the boys is happening nonetheless. Nothing screams adulthood like driving sixteen hours to go to a mall and a zoo. And nothing screams quirky goofy antics like outrunning wildfires the entire time. It’s a perfect introduction to summer.
Despite me getting carsick the second I smell the inside of a car, I’m excited. We’re gonna pass a bunch of A&W’s, we have that here but these will be interior flavoured. We’ll also go to Hot Topic, which we’ve been to on the mainland, but again, this’ll be interior flavoured. We’ll even get to see some giraffes, the same ones that were featured in “The Last of Us”, the hit show where the Mandalorian becomes a father figure to a human child instead of a Yoda-lookin one.
If you’re confused by me describing these places as “interior flavoured”, it’s because we be heading towards the interior of Canada. We’re going to Calgary! We’re going to Edmonton! And it’s gonna be super weird because the usual ocean is going to be very far away and a good chunk of the land will be flat. I’ve personally never been to another province as far as I know. I could’ve driven through one, I’m not sure since I typically pass out on long car rides for survival purposes. I’m looking forward to seeing some new scenery in theory, unless the smoke is so thick we can’t see anything. Either way, in spirit, we will experience different landscapes.
I made sure to pay my rent today just in case we get trapped by a merciless inferno past the first day of next month and I am ready to go. This will be the longest amount of time we’ve all hung out together. Six friends, one stupid ass looking car, five days of shenanigans. It’s probably gonna be wacky. All worth it though, since I’m finally going to see the terrifyingly gigantic West Edmonton Mall. I heard so much about this place when I moved to Canada and I was always so baffled by its size and offerings. It seems unreal, futuristic, overwhelming. I can’t wait to get lost.
This is definitely a much needed break too. Work has gotten incredibly stupid again and I want to be elsewhere right now. Every day that I saunter towards the mall where my soul goes to die, I see the bus I take home make its way to the stop I wait at after my shift. Every day, I want to run to that bus and go all the way back to my house. They do it in movies all the time with no consequences, but this is reality, so I’m going to go to another province and fist fight forest fires instead.
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phenylethanol · 1 year ago
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fuck it full likes and dislikes bc I can’t talk about this with the fam w/o hurting their feelings lol:
Things I liked:
The set design!!! It’s incredibly well done and it makes me so happy that everything is real. Barbieland is beautiful.
Barbieland mechanics are delightful. The walking offscreen on one floor to appear on the other, the floating down to the ground, the giant hairbrushes, it’s all so whimsical.
The actors did a fantastic job. In particular, Margot Robbie’s portrayal of stereotypical barbie was just perfect.
The costume design is absolutely incredible and is the one thing that does the best job at showing us stereotypical barbie’s character arc. When they liberate Barbieland and she’s dressed in a much more simple outfit with basic makeup? Phenomenal.
I tend to dislike pop soundtracks in movies but I think this one was great. They utilize it well.
The humor is usually pretty good and definitely made me chuckle here and there.
Asexual barbie W
My dislikes:
Watching this movie post-hype, all I could think was…. Is this really the “revolutionary, feminist” movie I’ve been hearing about?? Its themes are introductory level at best. The movie also really enjoys just telling you everything about its themes instead of showing you, which left it feeling bland.
Speaking of feminist themes, this movie gets soooooo close to saying “hey patriarchy isn’t good for men either” and just doesn’t quite get there. It’s so unbelievably close during the Barbies’ plan to save themselves that it’s unreal. It likely doesn’t get as “let me tell you everything explicitly” about this because of the fact that this is such a corporate movie. More on that in two bullets.
The pacing is super weird. It feels very quick to cut from scene to scene but still manages to linger too long somehow. I think the quick cuts from emotional to funny could’ve been handled much better.
Speaking of pacing, the introduction of Ruth could’ve been done better. It’s jarring that she just kinda appears in a world where the rules are meant to mimic ours, and with little lead up to the moment. It threw me off, but that could very much just be a me thing.
This movie bleeds corporate, which is probably why it handles its themes the way it does. The car advertising, the shoe advertising, it’s so painfully obvious. Not to mention the fact that the movie is one big ad for Mattel. Gerwig isn’t “taking subtle punches at them without knowing”, they signed off on the weak little slaps at them. It makes them look good. It gets you to buy their product. C’mon now.
I wasn’t the biggest fan of the “barbie becoming human” scene bc of the pacing and “let me explicitly tell you everything”-ness of the script, but I thought the montage of women just being women was a great way to end the movie. Letting it fade to white and allow you to imagine what being a human looks like for Barbie would’ve been a great choice- it ties into this idea the movie is pushing that barbie can be everyone. But instead it ends with a rather unfunny epilogue that shows her going to a gynecologist. It was definitely meant as a “see, she’s a real ordinary woman now!” moment, but it fell flat. It instead reads to me as reducing women to their reproductive organs- “see? she’s a real woman now because she has a vagina!!” We’re just given a great scene about what ordinary womanhood looks like, and I felt the epilogue robbed that scene of its meaning. I acknowledge what the writers were going for but it doesn’t work in my opinion (my personal struggles with my supposed womanhood definitely colored this scene A LOT but that’s what’s fun about talking about art).
Overall I had a lot of fun with this movie and thought it was good, but the hype definitely overestimates just how feminist it is. I think Gerwig has done much, much better work in the “what is womanhood” department- Ladybird comes to mind. If I absolutely had to give this a rating, maybe a 6.5 or 7 out of 10. Good and I’d watch it again if a friend wanted to, but not good enough to have me raving.
finally watched barbie. main thought is the ending absolutely ruins it. should’ve rolled credits at the fade to white.
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lubdubsworld · 3 years ago
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Akrasia.
Happy Birthday To the Golden Maknae.
Here’s a little treat in lieu of Jungkook’s 24th Birthday!!!
Canon Compliant. 
Jungkook x OC
Word Count : 10K. 
Genre : Mild Angst. ( Happy'Ending) Jungkook X OC
Akrasia (noun) 
PHILOSOPHY    the state of mind in which someone acts against their better judgement through weakness of will.
 Getting involved with someone like Jungkook is a bad idea. Do you even realize who he is? How much he’s worth? He’s easily one of the richest men in the country . He’s loved by everyone.
I wrapped the coat around myself, tighter. Everything that Lee Jiae had said was true. She was a popular idol . Someone who would actually make a good match for the Jeon Jungkook.
But even Jiae balked at the idea of going anywhere near someone like him.
Career suicide, she had said firmly. That would be career suicide, Areum. He has fangirls from all over the world. Billions of them. They will dig so deep into my past, find the most innocent of things and twist and turn it and the next thing I know, I’m being kicked out of my band, out of the company and on the streets. I don’t want that. And neither should you.
I shivered a bit. No, I thought honestly. I didn’t want that either. I was far from successful, just an up and coming soloist , with a very very niche fanbase. I did sell a lot of records and I made enough money to live comfortably but I was not a mainstream celebrity. I didn’t register on people’s radar because I stayed far away from the spotlight.
There was something about social media that made it a terrifying thing to me. It was so abstract and unreal and yet…it seemed almost like a sentient being.
A powerful sentient being that could potentially destroy my whole life.
It scared me.
And while Jungkook and BTS had conquered that particular monster, had leashed and saddled the beast and made it their own personal pet…. I didn’t want anything to do with that.
I don’t want that, I told myself firmly. I really don’t want that. I want to stay this way… make music I love… read the few dozen fan handwritten fan letters I received everyday, make the occasional appearance on a magazine cover and then just quietly retreat into my studio. I want this. And if I go anywhere near Jeon Jungkook, I’ll lose this. I’ll lose all of this.
My phone buzzed and I jumped, glancing around nervously. The late October wind was cold but not biting. Winter would come but not for a while. And yet my skin chilled in apprehension. I always felt guilty, picking up one of his calls in public. It felt like I was being watched, like everyone could hear me, on the phone …Could hear who I was talking to.
“Hello.” I whispered nervously, eyes flitting around to find a secluded spot in the park. It was early in the morning, still an hour away from sunrise and I quickly hopped over a small hedgerow and moved into a wooded area, away from the main path that had the occasional cyclist or jogger.
“You didn’t come.” His voice was honey, the way it dripped into my senses and made my breath catch. And yet it was the undercurrent of disappointment that tugged at my heart. Made guilt churn inside me in rapid little currents.
“Yes. Sorry.” I said quietly, picking my way past a few bushes to a bench a little way into the woods. It was rusty and damp because no one came here , and the darkness was absolute, only faintly broken by the dim glow of the streetlights hundred yards away. I settled into the bench nonetheless.
“Areum…. Don’t do this to me.” Jungkook said brokenly and I exhaled.
“I’m not doing anything. I’m being smart. And you should be too. You’re romanticizing something that was just…it was just a conversation. We had a conversation . That’s all that happened.” I said desperately. It was something I’d told myself over an over, these past few weeks. Weeks of avoiding his texts, of ignoring his calls.
Calls from his hyungdeul.
That had given me a whole heart attack.
“You’re just going to ignore me then? Toss my feelings away like they don’t matter?” He asked quietly and my heart clenched.
“You …” I shook my head.” You need to understand something. I’m not going to do this. I can’t afford to. I told you already Jungkook…we spent one evening talking..that’s it…we’re not dating..we don’t know each other well enough for you to be saying that you have feelings for me-“
“And I told you I don’t fucking care. “ He said sharply. “ One day… One hour…who cares? I believe in soulmates. Call me foolish and dumb but I do and when I saw you I felt that. And I know you felt it too.”
My mind flashed back to that evening. It was a private birthday party for a mutual friend. Barely a dozen of us had attended and Jungkook had been sneaking glances at me all evening, completely oblivious to the ay every woman in the room had their gaze glued on him. The party hadn’t been my thing at all and I’d sneaked away to the private terrace, accessible only through a rickety old fire escape and to my utter shock he had followed me up there.
The stars had been exceptionally bright that night,  but with Jungkook sitting on the tiled roof next to me, gazing at me with all that adoration, his doe  eyes had seemed to hold more of them than the night sky.
“What do you want, Jungkook?” I asked quietly.
“I want you. I know you want me. We …we understand each other. I want the same things you do. Do you even fucking realize how rare that is? To find someone who shares the same thoughts, the same dreams as you do? Who looks at the world the way you do… I… I am not foolish enough to think that there’s another girl out there who could connect to me the way you do. You call that a conversation…just a conversation…. Did you forget what kind of a conversation it was?”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Three weeks ago  
The party had barely started and I was already itching to run home. There was a particular song lyric , stuck in my head like a loop and I wanted to put it on paper as soon as possible. I had this thing where seeing something on print helped me to elaborate on an idea. Directed my train of thought in that particular direction if you willed.
Mingyu was walking around, talking to his friends and making them laugh with his witty banter but I didn’t miss the way he shot me little glances. I gave him a quick thumbs up though, to let him know I was okay. He was a childhood friend, one of the few people I’d stayed in touch with through the years. And of course, being in the same industry meant a lot of shared interests.
I moved to the side bar with the drinks and appetizers, ordering myself a diet coke before hopping onto one of the stools. I watched the dozen or so people here….His bandmates, some other idols. I recognized Yugyeom from GOT7. They were all dressed in dressy casuals : flashy shirts and tight jeans and racy little dresses and I felt out of place in my long jean skirt and tasseled leather jacket.
Sighing, I turned back to my drink when a commotion near the door made me look up.
I felt my eyes widen when I saw who it was.
The Jeon Jungkook. From BTS.
I stared at him as did pretty much every person in the room.  Jungkook was easily one of the most handsome men I’d ever seen in my life, tall and just…big. I stared at the broad shoulders, the huge arms and the taut line of his abdomen, tapering into a narrow waist and long, long legs with muscular thighs. He was wearing a black shirt, unbuttoned all the way to his chest and skinny blue jeans with black boots.
I smiled, genuinely awed. Jungkook looked every bit like the untouchable superstar he was and I considered that the party hadn’t been a waste after all. The chances of me running into someone like that in person were pretty slim.
Almost at once he was surrounded and I watched as his ears turned red, gaze shifting away and an almost soft shyness in the way he bowed politely . A hesitation to be put on the spot but also a need to stay polite , probably. Laughing a bit , I watched him some more and then his gaze lifted to mine. To my surprise, his eyes went wide in what was clearly recognition.
What.
I watched as he quickly bowed and said something to the people around him before picking his way to me. My entire body went taut with surprise.
“Lee Areum ssi…” He stuttered, eyes wide and I could only gape. “ I’m a huge fan.”
I blinked.
What.
What.
“You know who I am?” I asked , mildly horrified and he laughed nervously, shaking his head and rubbing the back of his palm across his nose before laughing a little.
“Your voice is just… something about your songs…they help me sleep when I’m too exhausted to relax.” He said softly and I felt warmth pool inside me.
“Too exhausted too sleep. That doesn’t sounf good...”
Jungkook chuckled.
“Its not. It usually happens when we’re preparing for a comeback. It different with concerts you know…we’re exhausted because we’ve been running around …singing…its all physical…mostly. And that’s easy to brush aside and sleep. But comebacks…there’s that nervousness. The worry that things may not be as good as they were. Constantly having to keep up to standards. “ He shook his head. “ it can get exhausting.”
It was something deep and oddly tragic and I was stunned that he’d shared something so… personal. To a literal stranger. But the urge to soothe..to comfort and reassure him in some way was over powering.
Instinctively, I leaned closer and lightly touched his forearm .
“But you are the standard, now, Jungkook ssi. What BTS has done, others can only dream of reaching. You’ve brought this….utopian idea that you can love yourself just the way you are… and that’s amazing. I understand the need to meet expectation but I think you’ve earned the right to sleep without being burdened by them.”
Jungkook didn’t reply, staring into my eyes and I felt my pulse kick up a notch, my eyes taking in the beautiful features and my throat went dry when his gaze dropped to where my fingers lightly brushed the soft fabric of his shirt sleeve.  
“Oppa…Let’s dance.” A shrill voice behind him made us both jump and I quickly pulled my hand away. Panicking, I turned away from him fully, ducking my head so my hair could cover my face. There was a dull roaring in my head, making it hard to hear what he was saying but a second later he moved away from the bar and I exhaled sharply.
Shaking I turned back to my drink.
Another twenty minutes of trying to avoid looking at Jungkook, I gave up. This wasn’t my kind of place at all and after a quick word with Mingyu, I moved to the small balcony in the side, desperate for some fresh air. But the moment I stepped out, my eyes fell on the rickety ladder like stairs, rusty and clearly a death trap. I quickly moved to the ledge and peered up at the roof. It was a little inclined but nothing dangerous. And there was a barricade that would break my fall, just in case I slipped.
Thrilled at the prospect of doing something that was both foolish and fancy free, I quickly, climbed on to the ladder, climbing all the way over to the top and throwing my legs over the iron railing before carefully walking overt to the center of the roof. Grinning to myself, I settled on the slightly damp tiles.
“You’re lucky the ladder didn’t break .” Jungkook’s voice made me yelp and I stared as he quickly jumped over the railing himself, grinning and wiping his hands on his thighs.
“Oh my god, people are going to find us here!” I hissed, terrified and he laughed.
“Don’t worry. I told them I’m going home.”
“You lied?” I shook my head in disbelief and Jungkook hummed.
“Did I?” He pretended to think. “ Doesn’t feel like I did.”
It took me a few seconds for the implication to sink in.
I looked away, blushing a bit.
“Did I come on too strong?” He moved to sit next to me, just a foot away.
I shook my head.
“No. I’m just.. I didn’t expect you to know me. We don’t exactly run in the same circles.”
“There’s a very cliché line in my head about how you’ve been running in circles in my head for a long time but I’ll save that for our first date.” He said with a laugh and I blushed deeper.
“Date?” I shook my head, “ That’s not funny.”
“Good. Because it wasn’t a joke. Let me take you out to dinner sometime.”
I stared at him, trying to look for the punchline because even if he denied it, it was still laughable. The mere idea of it.
“Don’t turn me down Areum ssi.” He said softly and I swallowed.
“I won’t if you take it back.” I said quietly.
He sighed.
“Then…when you sang about wanting to give love a chance…wanting to free fall for once without worrying about the rocks at the bottom of the cliff, wanting to soar into the sky without thinking of the ropes trying to tether you to the ground….were you joking?”
I gaped at him.
“that’s.. those are… Those are lines from before my debut.” I said shakily.
“Like I said… I’ve been a fan for a long time.” Jungkook whispered.
The night was magical. Cool and refreshing and the night sky was resplendent, the lack of clouds offering a stellar view of the stars and yet, I found myself drawn to the galaxies swirling in his doe eyes. The strong nose and the cherry red lips, now being worried between slightly large front teeth as he stared at me with all the nervousness of a young boy.
But he wasn’t a boy. He was a man.
And this wasn’t a love song.
This was real life.
“Free falling is fun when you don’t know what you’re falling into. But when you do know that there’s a lot of pain at the end of the fall, its not something you want to experience.”
“Areum…”
“I’m flattered.” I said quickly. “ Beyond flattered…really. But… I can’t.”
“Okay. But don’t leave. Stay here with me.. for a while. Let’s talk.” He said quickly.
Jungkook was handsome and the night was still young. This maybe the last time I would ever see him and I was honest. It was flattering, receiving attention from someone like that.
I hesitated before sighing and nodding.
“Okay…let’s talk.” I smiled, throwing caution to the winds.
And talk we did. About everything and nothing. As the night grew darker, Jungkook relaxed next to me, laughing as he shared anecdotes about his members, about his family, about his brother. And then naturally about how successful they were these days and Jungkook told me that there was always a downside to fame but he enjoyed the love he received. That he loved his fans for how they treated him and his brothers.
“Fame comes with a price but it’s a small price to pay…being loved for what I do..being accepted the way I am…it feels good.” He said quietly.
“It’s not always that way though.” I pointed out honestly. “ You guys are … I won’t say lucky because you’ve definitely worked hard but you’ve been more fortunate than the rest. Sometimes the spotlight can be a terrifying place to be.”
“you forget that we were once one of the most hated idols in the country..” He laughed. “ Trust me I know.”
“I didn’t know about you guys till you got on the Billboard. And you’re an amazing singer as well.” I said softly.
He grinned , playing with the bracelets on his wrist.
“Thank you.” He said sweetly.
We stayed quiet for a few seconds, staring up at the sky.
“I’ve never been attracted to fame.” I told him honestly.” Of course it holds its charms I suppose but I’ve always preferred the quiet of being obscure, you know. Like this secret that only a few get to learn in their lifetime.” I laughed. “ A hidden treasure maybe? Its why I started a Youtube channel instead of auditioning. Because only people who genuinely liked my music would get more of me. ” I smiled.
Jungkook hummed.
“When you first started singing your own songs on your YouTube channel? It was kind of around the same time we won our first daesang…” He smiled. “ In the MMA.”
“Oh…Really?” I asked surprised. That was nearly five years ago.
“Yeah. And till then..it was just your voice that I got to hear. You talked a bit but mostly it was just you covering someone else’s songs. And well, after we won the daesang I felt …lonely? Kind of? Scared maybe. And then you sang, ‘ White Dove’ a couple of days later and the lyrics…they just resonated with me you know. It made me feel like I knew you… Like you were a friend.”
I swallowed.
“I..thank you.” I whispered quietly, staring at my hands.
“And when you refused to sign with SM or YG. You also refused to monetize your videos on Youtube. You said your voice was your gift and you didn’t want to make money from something you’d received for free yourself. That …I loved that.”
“You’re like that too. You post your covers and songs on soundcloud for free as well.” I said quietly and he smiled.
“Like I said…we have a lot in common.” He smiled.
I smiled, shaking my head.
“I envy you.” He said quietly and I glanced at him.
“Hmm?”
“You’re just… You’re so untouched by all this. By me. It may sound incredibly narcissistic but people swoon when they see me for the first time but…you’re just you…. And that just makes me remember that you’re amazing and beautiful and you have such beautiful mind and you’re just… you’re so far out of my league. You’re so content with what you have and I wish I could be that way….But I …I can’t help but be greedy.”
“Greedy?”
“To do more. To want more. I know I should be happy that I even got to meet you . I feel like I’ve lived a lifetime in these two hours , sitting here talking to you. But I’m still greedy for more.” He stared at me with an intensity that was electric.
“More what?” I laughed.
“More of this. More of you. More of you and me together. More of us.”
“Us?” I laughed, shaking my head. “ There’s no us , Mr. Jungkook . you need to forget about that.”
“ I don’t think I can.” He said suddenly.
I felt the smile fade from my face.
“Jungkook.”
“Your song … Utopia… where you write about your idea of the perfect world. I… I loved it.” He said shakily.
“Jungkook , wait…”
“All of these days, when I listened to your songs, I would make it personal.. It would be about how those words applied to my life but with Utopia… that world you talk about …where you can be yourself, where you can sing whatever you want, be whoever you want…. When I heard that song…it became about you. About us.. I… that world you dream of.. I want to give that to you.”
My jaw dropped and I exhaled in disbelief.
“Do you realize how ridiculous that is? Your fans…our companies… Everyone will lose their minds.” I whispered, horrified.
He nodded.
“I know. I know I shouldn’t ask you this. Because it goes against my better judgement. But I can’t help. I still want to choose this. Choose you. So if there’s a word for that.. That is how I feel.”
“I.. I should go.” I said nervously, making to move but he reached out an gently gripped my wrist.
“Do you believe in love at first sight?” He asked quietly and I shook my head.
“No.. I don’t.” I said quietly.
“Good. Because neither do I. But I do believe in people who can understand you better than anyone else can. Just give me a chance. One date.”
I stayed quiet staring at my feet. There was so much to consider but I couldn’t bring myself to look at him and say no. He looked so hopeful.
“I’m busy for a couple of weeks. But there’s a beautiful terrace restaurant in Itaewon that I know. We’ll have complete privacy . I’ll get my chauffeur to pick you up. No one ill know. I just want to spend some time with you over dinner and if you have a good time….. we can meet again.”
And then what?
“I…I’ll try. But I can’t promise anything.“ I said honestly.
“That’s good enough for me. Can I have your number at least?” He asked finally.
I nodded and quietly put it into his phone.
“I’ll make the reservation and send you the details. And Areum?”
I glanced up at him.
“I’ve been free falling since I met you.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I closed my eyes, breathing deeply.
“I do.” I said quietly. “ I do remember.”
“I haven’t stopped falling. I keep listening to your songs on loop… Because I can’t bear the thought of being away from you , of not being connected to you in some way…”
“You’re so .. you’re so intense.” I whispered shakily and he laughed.
“I know, baby. I’m sorry. It’s just the way I am… I’m here you know. The restaurant I told you about. And my chauffeur is at your home. But he told me he couldn’t find you. It’s the middle of the night . where are you?”
I sighed.
“In the park opposite my house.”
Jungkook didn’t respond for a second.
“Do you want me to ask him to leave?” He asked quietly.
I took a deep breath.
“ Akrasia. “ I breathed out nervously.
“What…”
“its when someone makes a decision…against their better judgement.” I laughed nervously. “When we had that conversation , you asked me if there was a word for it. For acting against your better judgement. Akrasia is the word you’re looking for .”
He stayed quiet on the other end.
“Okay.” He said finally. “ Well, are you going to be akratic with me?” he said finally.
“Ask your driver to leave for now. And come meet me in my apartment tomorrow. I’ll make you dinner.”
Jungkook didn’t respond.
“That way we’ll have more privacy.” I said softly.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dating Jungkook was a lot of pain. Just as I’d anticipated. It was sitting by and watching him work himself down to the bone. It was watching people throw themselves at him and not being able to say a word. To the world he was single. And the number of women who called and hounded him was unnatural.
And he worked so hard that my heart ached for him.
One night, he missed dinner and I couldn’t reach him on the phone. I stayed up , sitting on my bed, waiting.
He came back at exactly at three in the morning. He didn't turn on the light but the moonlight through the window was sufficient to let me know that he looked terrible. i watched him shrug out of his jacket, leaning against the table , long legs crossed and crisp white shirt unbuttoned. He tugged at his tie with a sort of tired , half hearted gesture and i smiled.
i watched him for sometime, seeing him shrug out of his shirt and change into a simple white t shirt. He moved with a sort of graceful strength. Like every single cell of his body had the same confidence that he did. 
It was like a dream, i realized as another dull ache of pain twisted my heart. It was like i'd slept and woken up in someone else's dream. A dream where it was okay for me to look at him and feel things for him , without fighting to convince herself that it was dangerous. That it was going to end in heartbreak.  
As i watched him prepare for bed, i wondered when I had started falling so hard.  
The sound of the door closing, made me look up , shaken out of my thoughts. Jungkook was locking the door behind him. 
When he moved to the bed, i decided to let him know that i was awake. 
"You're back?" i said softly. 
He hesitated, clearly startled , before smiling at me. It was a weak smile, one that practically screamed exhaustion and i sat up straighter,  watching as he moved to me side and gently stroked me hair. 
"Why aren't you asleep?" He smiled. 
"I was waiting for you." i said honestly holding my hand out and he took it, kissing it obediently. 
"you'll have to wait longer, I'm afraid. I have a meeting tomorrow morning with PDnim and I still haven't prepped for it. I need to get an hour's sleep and get back to work. " Up close he looked so tired that i felt my heart clench in panic. 
"You don't look good." i said, alarmed as i realized that his skin had a distinctively grayish tinge to it.
"Comeback times are always that way. Never good for my health." He said teasingly. He checked his phone messages before turning to me and smiling.  
"I see you've been cutting back on the pain killers... are you feeling better than?" He asked. I’d been down with some menstrual cramps earlier and I was touched that he remembered, even in the mess of his schedule.
"I wish you wouldn't change the topic everytime I try to show concern for you."  i said , a little bit annoyed. He grinned and touched my cheek with his forefinger. 
"Just the fact that you are concerned is enough for me . anything more and I might die of happiness. you don't want that do you?" He winked. 
Deciding that it was impossible to talk with the man, i asked him if he wanted something to drink. 
He shook his head and climbed in next to me but before laying down, he turned to me. 
He hesitated. 
"Will you lend me your shoulder for the night?" He said softly , placing his hand there. 
i sighed as he leaned against me . His skin felt warm against me, his hair lightly tickling me cheekbones and i threaded me finger through the silky strands. 
In just a few seconds, he was fast asleep. 
I stayed awake, watching the room grow steadily brighter, the weak winter sun gently finding its way into the room , much like the way the man in my arms was gently finding his way into my heart.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 
"We should get a house, don't you think?" i said two months later, sitting up in bed , eating dinner while i watched him work on his files. He'd placed the desk in the far corner of the room, giving me the perfect view. And i was beginning to enjoy it a lot more than the one i could see out the window. 
" A house? " Jungkook stopped and looked up. " You want to live with me ? Just the two of us?" He smiled.
Well, when he put it that way. I balked and ducked my head. 
"It's too soon isn't it..I'm sorry I don't know why I..."
"What kind of a house would you prefer? Flat? Penthouse? Apartment? Duplex? Tell me....I'll get you the listings and you can pick out the ones you like . When you get better we can go pick one out." He grinned at me and i relaxed against the pillows , while he went back to his files. 
"I read something online…” i said casually . He didn't look up, merely humming to acknowledge that he'd heard me. 
"Did you date Lee Hyeri ?" i finally said. He stopped and looked at me. 
"Yes. Many months ago. I broke up with her because I wasn’t feeling anything serious and I didn’t want to lead her one. She didn’t take it very well. ." He said softly, moving towards the bed and sitting on the edge. As was his habit, he reached for my hand, holding it in his and tracing circles with his thumb.
“She called me.” I said quietly and he stiffened.
“Shit.”
I laughed.
“She wanted to meet me . Wanted to talk about something although I have an idea what. I’m not going to indulge her though.”
“If she calls again, you should tell her that her obsession is bordering on stalking and I’m on the verge of getting a restraining order. She turned up at my studio too. Went on an on about how I broke her heart and cheated on her . ”
 i hesitated , looking away from him and smiling. 
"I don't know . Should I?" i shook my head. i hesitated, pulling my hand away from him. "What else did she say?" i said suddenly, remembering how angry she had sounded on the phone.
"Nothing, you need to worry about. Are you done with this? Shall I clean it up?" He reached for my dinner tray and i grabbed his wrist. 
"where are you going?  You should tell me what she said." i protested, but he gently pried my fingers off before dropping a kiss on me forehead .
"And You should tell me when you're going to start staying over at my apartment.. It's going to snow in a few days. Or so they say. I thought you might like to enjoy the first snow with me..." He smiled . 
I took the subtle hint to drop the subject.
"You're being too wonderful. It makes my heart ache." i snuggled into my bed and pouted at him. He laughed at that. 
"Take rest. I have a meeting right now. I'll be back late so you should sleep." 
I watched him leave, feeling oddly bereft. I was growing to love him deeply.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
As with every couple in the world, our fights were often over the silliest things.
"You're still angry." I said casually, watching him work on his documents, the low burning desk light setting his features in sharp relief. He looked at me for a second and shook his head.
"I'm not angry , Areum. I'm busy. There is a difference." He said with a sigh, rubbing the heel of his palm into his eye. I watched the gesture and sat up straighter in bed, leaning over the side to stare at the clock there. It read 1.15 Am.
"It's snowing." I said softly, getting one my knees and peering out the windows. Through the haze of moonlight, I watched the small flakes drift down over the neatly cut hedgerows, making each segment of the garden look like neat cut slices of cake with vanilla cream frosting. I grinned at the little wisps of cotton white snow, clinging to each little branch on the trees and felt my heart swell with joy. 
"I suppose you're too busy to make good on your promise." I said naughtily, peering over my shoulder to glance at him. 
"Promise?"
"That you'll walk with me , in the first snow." I said, turning around and getting out of bed, slipping my feet into my fur slippers. I watched him fight with himself , the emotions warring across his handsome face and held my breath.
finally he sighed and stood up. I tried to keep the triumphant grin off my face and failed miserably. I felt awful, because deep down I had known that no matter how angry or upset he was, Jungkook would never break a promise. And I'd worded my request that way, just to take advantage of that little chink of honor that he always lived by. 
"Alright then. Let's go take a walk in the first snow." He said softly.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"You love snow."
"How did you know that?" I said surprised, lightly grabbing the low lying branch till it showered both of us with soft white flakes. 
"You make these little sounds , everytime you see  snow. I've noticed it from the time we met." Jungkook grinned . 
I laughed and turned away. I felt like I was standing in the middle of a fairytale, the white landscape making me feel like some exotic Ice Queen. I walked ahead of him, running a few steps till I was about ten feet ahead of him. I turned around, facing him as I walked backwards. He laughed at that. 
"Be careful. The snow looks soft but the fall will hurt." He warned me, putting his hands in his pockets and narrowing his shoulders to fight the chill. I smiled and shook my head.
"I want to look at you and make sure that you're not angry with me anymore." I said, enjoying the way he rolled his eyes and shook his head.
"I'm not angry. I told you that."
"Yes. You did. But i didn't tell you I'm sorry, did I?" I said softly, stopping in my tracks and watching as he drew closer. Jungkook gave me a curious glance, walking slowly till he was just in front of me.
"I'm sorry I said I'll leave you." I said honestly. He looked surprised but smiled nonetheless.
"Duly noted." He bowed his head, tipping an imaginary hat at me. Smiling, I turned around I ran a few more steps and instinctively knelt on the ground
"Don't ." He said suddenly. 
I  looked up from where I was gathering a handful of snow. I gave him an innocent smile. 
"What?" 
"I know what you're thinking. don't do it." He said, taking a step back. I felt a thrill of anticipation shoot through me, realizing that the big bad wolf was actually scared of being hit by a snowball. 
"You should know why I like snow so much.." I grinned with mischief and he gave me a look of disbelief.
"I don't think you can hit me. You're forgetting that i'm an expert at taekwondo.”
I held my hand up and threw , cursing when he casually stepped out of the way, laughing at the look on my face. 
"You have to concentrate on what you're doing. Anticipate my next move and react accordingly." He advised, bending down to get some snow for himself. 
"React to this!!" I grabbed two handfuls of snow and ran straight at him, grinning as I leapt on him.
We landed on the snow, Jungkook  on his back and I right on top of him, laughing as I smeared the snow on his face. He spluttered in disbelief and swiftly, threw his weight over, pinning me to the ground and straddling me, fingers swiftly grabbing my wrists and pushing my hands over my head, leaving me vulnerable and helpless, as he shook his head , showering me with ice cold flakes. 
I squeaked in surprise and he laughed hard.
Watching him laugh, full and open , I realized that I'd never watched him laugh that way before.
He looked exhilarated. 
Yanking my hand out of his grasp, I grabbed his collar, pulling him down for a kiss. 
the first touch of his lips to mine, felt like the sweetest, coolest sip of crystal waters after a lifelong thirst . 
I sank into the snow, sighing into the sweetness and the gentle pressure of his lips against me, the first touch of his tongue, making heat seep through my body, despite the cold. I curled my fingers into the fur near his neck, smiling into the kiss as he slipped one hand into my hair, gently tilting my head for better access. 
He kissed me softly. He kissed me deeply.
He kissed me like that was what he'd been put on the earth to do. 
But mostly he kissed me like that was all he wanted .
It was so absurdly romantic that I wanted to laugh .
I could catch whiffs of his scent, even though my eyes were watering and mey nose felt like it was running. Some elusive cologne mixed with the scent of  clean male skin . It made me heat up in ways that curled my toes in my fur boots. Each little kiss lasted a little longer than the one before, till I was certain that I was going to melt into the snow. And each little breath felt like a little wisp of my soul leaving my body and mingling with his. 
We kissed and kissed and kissed, while the snow fell in white flakes around us .
First Snow. first kiss, I thought happily. 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
After our little episode in the garden, I found that I felt something akin to desperation everytime I came in contact with Jungkook.
It's not that I woke up one day and realized that something had changed in the way I watched Jungkook.
. That my eyes lingered, not just on his face but on the curve of his lips, the edge of his jaw, the exposed skin of his neck. My fingers wanted to reach out and  grip, not just the strength of his shoulders and the slender digits of his hand but also his lean waist.
I began losing my mind, slowly and painfully. Suffocating when Jungkook got too close , choking when he went away too far.
As they spent time together, Jungkook began touching me.
. Not too often and never in an intrusive way , but every time his fingers traced the back of my palm or brushed back my hair, my  throat went dry and my heart stopped pumping blood and I felt like like a fool because I had no idea if Jungkook felt half of what I was feeling.
In fact I was certain that Jungkook didn’t feel anything at all.
What I was feeling was painful and confusing and if Jungkook felt any of it, he would be running as far away from me as possible, not moving closer and closer.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Why are you so nervous?” Jungkook laughed and I bit my nails nervously, glancing around the reception hesitantly. The workers were all busy, no one spared us so much as a glance but I couldn’t help but feel terrified.
“It’s only us here? For the whole weekend? No one else?” I asked again for the hundredth time.
Jungkook groaned, shaking his head and ignoring me, holding his hand out for the keys to our cottage. I yelped a bit when he began walking away without waiting for me, running to keep up with his long strides.
“Sorry…I just don’t want you to get in trouble.” I said quietly, slipping my hand into his, linking our fingers together and smiling a little.
He squeezed my hand gently before pulling away to wrap me in a one armed huge, pressing a kiss to my neck.
“I booked the entire resort for the weekend. The staff have all signed a confidentiality agreement. No one is going to know we’re here. You can be as loud as you want.” He whispered and I yelped, hitting his chest,” let me finish….” He laughed. “ When you yell at me. You can be as loud as you want when you yell at me.”
“You’re a terrible person.” I whispered , burying my face into his arm in mortification.
Jungkook merely laughed .
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"You seem tense." He said that evening, as the pair of us sat on the back deck , glasses of bubble tea in hand , watching the waves break out on the rocks. Slow but persistent , gradually breaking the rock's resistance and carving its way into its heart.
"Can we ever …truly be relaxed ?" I asked , a little bit of desperation in my tone. Jungkook didn’t turn to look at me . Instead he took a picture of the rocks and the sea with his phone.
"That's a pretty loaded question. With a lot of answers."
I stared  at him, wondering why I was more confused now than before.
"Sometimes I can't understand you at all." I said quietly, shaking my head.
“Do you understand that I love you?” He said softly.
I hesitated before nodding.
“That’s the only thing that matters to me.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The boys dropped by for a visit the next day.
I sat down on the open deck, opposite Namjoon for a game of chess. Jungkook slid into the armchair next to me.
"Are you winning?" Jungkook asked quietly and I shot  him a glare, which gets a smile in return promptly. It was like he always knew what to say , how to manipulate my thoughts and emotions, how to make me look and feel a certain way , just so he could steal that part of mr away.
How evil.
At first I didn’t  notice that he was sitting a bit too close for comfort, because as such, we've lived on top of each other for quite a while now. But after a while I became  aware of the warmth of his thigh, solid and strong against my own, evident even through the layers of jean separating them.
I  tried to move away, surreptitiously, but Jungkook only moved closer.
"Try this."
His fingers fluttered over my thigh, intentionally or not I would never know, reaching for my queen and I tried not to jump out of my skin, gritting my teeth as my muscles stiffened, my nerves tingling like electric.
I licked my lips and Jungkook’s  eyes flickered up at the movement, a gentle smile tugging at his lips and my gut clenched in embarrassment. But the brunette moved even closer, his bare arm now brushing against mine  and I had to swallow the desperate urge to get up and just run.
"Well, this is entertaining." Namjoon said suddenly and i looks at my opponent for the first time since Jungkook’s  arrival. Namjoon was leaning back in his armchair, amusement shining out of his eyes .
I scrambled  in a bid to put space between Jungkook and I and failed miserably.
"He's just helping me with chess." I said desperately.
"Oh, is that what they call it these days?" Namjoon leaned forward looking very intrigued.
Jungkook reached out and clonked him on the head but his eyes were laughing and I wondered how this was going to end. I wanted it. Wanted to take that final step with Jungkook but I was also so , so scared.
Would it change things. For the better? For worse?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Jungkook, I soon realized, took the way I was shying away from him , as some sort of a twisted challenge to get closer than ever. The more I moved away, the closer Jungkook gets , touching me in gentle intimate little touches and every time he did,  a slow simmering fire started at the pit of my stomach, reaching out in gentle upward licks , drying my throat and turning my insides into molten goo.
She's almost tempted to ask Jungkook if he feels the same way but she's saved the trouble later that week.
"I want you."
I froze on the spot, fingers stopping in mid air, inches from picking up a slice of apple, neatly placed on the tray. We were in the dining room,  Jungkook sitting with a set of files spread out in front of him and me with a knife and a few uncut apples in a basket.
"You..what?" I squeaked.
" I'm attracted to you and I really want to have sex with you." Jungkook said  , almost carefully.
Like he was announcing the weather. Like his words weren’t carefully calculated to turn my world upside down.
"Alright. " I whispered, not even sure what else I could say to that.
I stole a glance at Jungkook who was grinning from ear to ear. I felt blush rushing up my body, the blood flooding my face so quick it made me dizzy..
"Don't .. Don't look at me like that." I whispered, mortified to sound like a sixteen year old girl.
"Do you want me to leave now?" Jungkook reached out , placing a soft hand on my palm and it took all my  willpower not to grab Jungkook and hug him. Instead I managed a weak smile. My mind was a few seconds away from collapsing in on itself and I was too stunnedto think straight.
So I answered the question at face value.
"No, I don't want you to leave now. "
"Okay. Go ahead, eat your fruit. It's good for you."
Jungkook smiled again, serene and perfectly at peace with the world.
 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
At eleven thirty on Saturday night, both Jungkook and I sneaked out of the hotel, arms laden with our picnic basket and coats draped over our shoulders. Once we reached  large pond in the outer edge of the property, Jungkook made quick work of the blanket, spreading it out on the artificial lawn that surrounded it.
I settled down on it, reaching out and dipping my legs in the water. It's a bit chilly but only for a second. I wriggled my toes playfully and Jungkook slipped a bit closer to me, letting his foot sink in next to mine.
We played around for a while, splashing water on each other and then I pulled my legs out.
"You okay?" Jungkook asked softly and I turned around to stare at him , a little apprehensive. There are so many things wrong with this , a part of me screams. But there's a part of me that longs, so badly , for this simplicity. Longs and has longed, all my life. Just this, the chance to relax and be myself and play around with water in the moonlight.
"I'm not sure." I admitted, honestly.
"Tell me. " Jungkook said and for once his voice isn't relaxed. Instead it's a bit urgent and anxious.
"We're not... I’m so scared that we'll never make it, you know." I sighed, dipping my legs back into the water, just as Jungkook pulled his out.
"Why? Because of the media ?" There’s a hint of bitterness in his voice and I hated myself for bringing this up. We were supposed to be spending time together, enjoying each other’s company. I wasn’t sup[posed to be ruining the mood like this.
"It's nothing. I just.. I don't want you to get hurt." I said honestly.
"Because of you? Because I'm with you?" Jungkook's voice was lot softer now, the bitterness replaced by concern.
"I.. Yes.. I mean... I'm.."
"You're a gorgeous young woman who is intelligent and charming. Why would I ever give you up?" Jungkook asked, reaching out and wrapping an arm around my shoulder but I couldn’t help but sigh.
"That's.. that's not what everyone else thinks." I reminded him. “ And that not what they’ll say, if you ever tell them the truth about us.”
"No it isn't. And I won't say something stupid like , it doesn't matter what others think. Because it does, I know it does. And it's going to hurt. In fact I think it would hurt you a lot more than it would hurt me. But if I don't... If I don't take a chance with us... that's going to hurt me too. So its a choice. I can either  choose to get hurt by people I don't give a damn about , and in return I get... get to be with someone I really...like…..
"Or, I give up the woman I love and get hurt by my own decision. " Jungkook finished.
"We hurt either way." I smiled bitterly, Jungkook's words making a lot of sense.
"Yes. All you need to choose is , what's worth the hurt? Being with me, or society's approval?" Jungkook leaned forward slightly and I blinked.
We stayed that way staring at each other for a second and then he pulled away and sighed deeply.
"I've already chosen, I. I'm not pushing you, but I hope you'll pick me." He said quietly.
I stared into the night, thoughtfully. So easy, I told myself. So easy to turn around right now and kiss Jungkook, tell him that I didn’t deserve so much happiness. That my heart was so light, I wanted to spout wings and fly.
So easy but so frightening.
The wind picked up somewhere and somehow a draught found its way inside and I shivered a little, only to have a warm blanket wrapped around my shoulder. Jungkook snuggled in with me and we huddled together
My thoughts tripped over each other  and I wanted to run away but I stayed still, letting the gentle lap of the water against my toe, calm my inner turmoil.
"It's just you and me." Jungkook whispered, " Right now. Just you and me. Let's pretend we're the only ones on the planet."
I turned around to the brunette in surprise but Jungkook's looking out into the water, lit by a full moon from the skylight.
"Just you and me. " He said absently and I nodded, looping my fingers with Jungkook's. We sat in silence, pressed against each other and I waited till the moon slipped behind a cloud before turning around, slightly, and pressing my lips against Jungkook's.
It's soft and very short, over before it even begins and Jungkook smiled into the kiss.
  Explicit Content : 
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Jungkook teasingly pushes her back and Areum falls back against the soft mattress, like she's been shoved. She melts into the kiss and then Jungkook’s lips move away, dragging his teeth and tongue over the exposed expanse of her neck, lightly sucking and biting and then soothing with his tongue. Areum gasps and struggles and fights for air, before dragging their lips together again.
Jungkook kisses her until she's splayed flat against the bed, eyes wide and lost and lips parted, blush staining her cheeks and then Jungkook's reaching out to the table and pulling his camera , snapping a picture.
"You're such a weirdo!" Areum laughs , too turned on to be annoyed.
"No, just a man. A man in love." Jungkook leans down, pushing his hips down into hers and she gasps at the friction. They make quick work of their jeans and suddenly its skin on skin and she's not sure if she's doing this right.
"Jungkook.. I..I.."
"Hey, relax. I got you." Jungkook holds her close, just holding her, cradling her almost and the familiar words smooth away her apprehensions and he's moving closer, trying to pull more sounds out of her, his lips tracing the line of her chest, tongue swirling around one nipple before moving down and down, dipping lightly into her belly button.
And then the camera is tossed to the side, Jungkook flipping them over with ease , his lips moving down , tongue dipping into the curve of her waist down and then further down , lightly licking at the sensitive bundle of nerves near her center and Areum's pretty certain she loses her mind at that point.
"You're amazing." He whispers, and she nearly flies off the bed when Jungkook slides a single digit in, slowly , so slowly. She’s wet and ready but her body is still stuck in auto pilot and she wants to close her legs instinctively.
"Relax for me." Jungkook whispers, lips close to her ear, licking and teasing .
"I'll make it good. Just relax for me." Jungkook says again,  gently, lapping at her neck and Areum unclenches her thighs letting him work his way in, sighing when the slide becomes a little more easy and a little more familiar.
"So beautiful." Jungkook whispers and Areum laughs, shaking her head.
"It's dark, you can't even see-"
"I can’t see but I can feel you. i can feel you and you’re so fucking gorgeous." He slips another finger in and curls his fingers against the walls of her insides and the gentle press of the pad of his finger is too much and not enough , all at once. Her head falls back into the pillow, all coherency leaving her body in a single whoosh of breath.
"Look at me. Only me." She whispers when Jungkook thrusts into her for the first time and Jungkook nods shakily and he pushes in, leaving her trembling at the ache and the pain and wanting to cry out, but she swallows it all down because she knows it’s going to get better .
"Don't wander off. " Areum whispers, pulling him down for a kiss and Jungkook pushes in deeper, earning a gasp. He wishes he could explain, that he can't ever think of anything but her because she is the perfect dream.
“I love this. I love you. “ she whispered and he had to physically restrain himself from burying himself to the hilt inside her. Her body was still getting used to him. He didn’t want to hurt her but God, she felt so amazing around him. the heat and wetness driving him crazy in a way that couldn’t be explained.
“Hold me tight.”
And she did.
With her arms and her legs and her body and her.....everything.
When she clenched around him, his mind went blissfully blank, her orgasm hitting him like an earth shattering, bone melting , heart stopping explosion of bliss.  
He fell against her, careful not to crush her with his weight and rolled to the side gathering her close.
Someday he would hurt her, he was sure of it. He was an idiot after all and he knew he would find a way to muck this up and ruin it for them but for now, he wasn’t going to think about any of that.
For now, he was going to enjoy the intimacy of making love to the woman he loved.
 Author’s Note : Hope you guys liked it! it was supposed to be very angsty but its really not lol....
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158 notes · View notes
notnctu · 4 years ago
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switchin’ lanes - l.jn | ridin’ club
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━ welcome to the ridin’ club smut series 
genre ➠ slow burn, smut, pwp???, fluff (if u squint) wordcount ➠ 8.3k details ➠  fem!reader, streetracer!jeno, badboy!jeno, college!au,  ━ where you and jeno are in a relationship, but not with each other. warnings ➠ explicit language, cheating, flirty banter, alcohol consumption, drugs, yall at a party, physical fighting (not with you), mentions of cuts/bruises, hickeys, drunk public dry humping, thigh riding, fingering, oral (f/receiving) synopsis ➠ If your boyfriend didn’t decide to join such a stupid unofficial club, then maybe you wouldn’t be in such a sticky situation where Lee Jeno is literally knuckles deep in your sticky situation as he drives you home. Or maybe if your boyfriend actually touched you, then you wouldn’t be seeking it from someone else, who can’t keep his hands off of you. taglist ➠ @rabbit-doyochi ; @darkneogotmyback ; @im-lame-irl ; @p-mini ; @niniluvsmarkhyuck ; @saniahmichael ; @jaehy9ngs ; @danyxthirstae01 ; @jaehyunoos ; @pikijaemin ; @suhweo​ ; @dearlyminhyung​
a/n ➠ hi yall its author doie❀!! i hope you enjoy the series pls leave me feedback lmaoo ill literally take anything. we also hit a milestone for followers and honestly its so crazy to know how quickly this tiny sideblog has grown! we’re so thankful that yall follow us, thank u for lovin us and we will try our best to put out more content!! also through the lens hit 1k notes how is that even possible like wow im speechless thank u for everyone who left such kind comments i treasure every form of feedback :) 
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The heavy double doors of the classroom stare tauntingly at you. The evening setting in, painting the sky with strokes of orange and pink. You managed to remain complaint free the entire day, until your forgetful boyfriend canceled on you because of a club meeting. A meeting for an unofficial club on campus because it is illegal to street race. A club consists of delinquents that are obsessed with cars and steal your boyfriend away from you. 
This is the fifth time this week that your boyfriend stood you up or coincidentally forgot your dates. You can’t remember the last time he physically stood in front of you and not through a phone screen. However, it is not completely the stupid club’s fault that your boyfriend has neglected you. 
He truly is the worst boyfriend ever. He blames everything on his bad memory and does not prioritize you in his life. He loves one thing --- his car. You could be lying in a hospital bed, and he wouldn’t care to check up on you. 
So why did you stay with him? Because you’re scared of being alone? Possibly, but it is a can of worms that you did not want to open just yet. Sex is definitely not the reason you stay with him. He hasn’t touched you sexually since the first and now, last time you two slept together. 
You try your best, to only be waved off with a yawn. He doesn’t compliment you. He doesn’t look at you lovingly. He doesn’t even kiss you for longer than two seconds. You are a toppling tower, ready to crumble at any given moment.
The anger in your body fuels you as you pull the door open to reveal several men in leather jackets chatting away with each other. One by one, they all begin to lay their eyes on who abruptly interrupted their joyous conversations. Your eyes scan the room full of intimidating men, whose auras cause a shiver to run down your spine.
Your boyfriend is nowhere in sight, given that there are plenty enough guys who have the ability to cover him. You walk into the open space and the entire mood of the room shifts. 
Heavy cologne and a deafening silence fill the air. One particular male, who has been eyeing you the entire time, gets up and walks towards you. 
“Are you lost, baby?” Scoffs and chuckles sparsely cover the corners of the room. The unknown male has a jarring cut on his eyebrow, matching a small bruise on his upper cheekbone. 
“I’m looking for my boyfriend…” Your weak voice trails off from the sudden attractive male intimidation. The tall man peers around the room, crossing his arms.
“If you are this beautiful woman’s boyfriend, please fucking come out now. It’s very rude to keep your girl waiting for you!” Initially, his low throaty shout startles you. A heavy heat falls on your cheeks when you register his choice of adjectives.
The whole room falls silent once more, before your pitiful boyfriend steps out from between two bulkier men. “Hey babe, what are you doing here?” His eyes nervously bounce around the room, a shaky laughter erupting from his gut. 
“Sorry, Jeno. I didn’t mean to cause such a scene. I didn’t even see her come in.”
Like a trigger, you remember your intentions for storming in uninvited. Jeno gauges your flaming reaction to your boyfriend’s apologetic words. He nods, not out of acceptance of the apology, but out of disbelief.
He pulls your boyfriend by the collar of his white shirt and your eye widens at the condescending tone that causes your boyfriend to cower, “I’m not the one to apologize to.” With a careless toss, your boyfriend ends up shaking in front of you.
“Jeno is not the only one you should be scared of.” You whisper angrily to him as the rest of the room continues on with their previous chatter. 
Your boyfriend rolls his eyes, “listen, Jeno’s been arrested before. You don’t want to get on that man’s bad side.” 
Your eyes wander behind your boyfriend’s hunching shoulders, catching Jeno steal peeks at you too. There is no interest in the other rambling male that stands in front of him. He just wants to check you out a bit more. 
He is the hottest person you’ve ever gotten the attention of. You feel flustered, and a bit flattered at his lingering gaze. His brown hair is slicked back messily, giving you more to admire. Jeno is an absolute cliche from a bad boy fanfiction. He is unreal, and the odd chance that he can’t keep his eyes off of you, is also unreal. 
But with a light nudge from a blue haired fellow, Jeno’s eyes peel away from your’s. They exchange a few words, which then propels Jeno to hurriedly put on his slightly tattered leather jacket.
You lick your lips to the sight of his body lines as he stands up to follow his friend, but not without another look back at you. Noticing your stare still on him, he bids you a tiny wave goodbye with a smirk to die for. And like that, he’s gone. 
“Are you listening to me?” Your boyfriend’s voice finally reaches your reality. Your focus shifts to the obviously irritated expression on his face. 
“I guess, I’m not. Don’t fucking stand me up again or I will key your car.” You aren’t actually those kinds of girls, but your boyfriend didn’t take a threat seriously unless it involves his highly treasured car. 
And like Jeno, you also make your exit out of the steamy room. The chilly night brush against your unknowingly hot cheeks. Then, you take yourself to the only unhealthy coping mechanism you can think of: a place of free alcohol and no boyfriend.
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It takes you a few months to completely stop caring about your dying relationship. You figure how easy it is for your boyfriend to do it, so you make the same decision.
He spends his nights with his friends he made from his club, and has totally become a self proclaimed car enthusiast. You lose yourself in copious amounts of cheap alcohol at your local parties and it’s almost like you stop sulking over a man who kisses his car goodnight.
While being alone did not bother you as much as you had been dreading, the sexual frustration is a completely different issue. You are absolutely drooling whenever your eyes find Jeno in the crowds of sweaty bodies.
If there is one good thing that came out of your boyfriend’s membership in that club, it had to be Lee Jeno and a few other notable people who attended the same parties as you.
He became a very close acquaintance, and you had learned some very important names associated with the Ridin’ Club. Na Jaemin, Lee Haechan, and Huang Renjun. But the three could not compare to the kindhearted Jeno that makes butterflies stir in your lower abdomen. 
Over the months, you also had learned rather quickly that your sexually clouded mind had tricked you previously into thinking that Jeno’s stares were full of lust for you. His girlfriend makes it clear that it isn’t the case.
Although you have caught the couple making out several times when trying to use the bathroom, your feverish, impure attraction toward Jeno never calmed down.
“You’re looking very tempting tonight, baby.” Jeno’s beaming eye smile greets you, even after completely undressing you with his gaze. His arms are wide open to embrace your warm body. 
The parties are always too hot to wear a fully clothed outfit. You often settle for a cute tank top and a short skirt to prevent your legs from collecting extra moisture. Jeno, without a fail, shows up in black jeans that clad his lower half, tucked with a simple white shirt. His tattoos and toned arms being on full display for you to admire. 
“Better make sure your actual baby doesn’t hear that.” The loud beats of the music make Jeno’s chuckle almost inaudible, but his expression remains cheerful, as per usual. “Did you get into another fight?” 
The fresh wound cut through his smooth complexion, which will eventually join the rest of his collection of fading scars. He mindlessly grazes over the new bandaging and dramatically winces. Clearly concerned, you grab his hand away from the injury. “Don’t touch it, stupid.”
His smile curves into a sly smirk, as he intertwines your fingers and kisses the back of your hand. “It doesn’t hurt at all.” His chest heaves into a fit of giggles, “just wanted to see you care for me.” 
Groaning, you shake his massive hand off of your’s. “Very funny. I should start charging you for my attention.” 
“Name your price, I got all the money in the world for you.” He winks, while lightly pinching your cheek. You are lying to yourself if you thought you could ever stay away from him. Jeno stirs up a part of you that craves the cheesy nicknames, flirty comments and the undivided attention. 
He motions you to follow him into the mess of people. Almost as if he’s a god, the crowd parts for you two to walk through without unnecessary extra bodies. The fear that settles in many individuals’ chest is understandable.
Like your first impression, Jeno is a complete walking fanfiction trope. He negotiates better with his fists, usually with good reason. The guns of the Ridin’ Club, though, his friends are very much to be feared as well. They will not hesitate to run someone over, if given the heated situation to do so. And most definitely, you can count them to be backing up their fighter, Jeno. 
You had not been mindful before of the chatter that regarded the secret Ridin’ Club. They are notorious for fast paced very illegal races in the middle of nowhere destinations and tempers that aren’t meant to be provoked. Besides their intimidating aura, it melts away after getting to know them.
Lee Haechan, the most annoying brat, but has the strongest, the most loyal bond to his boys. He’s also notably funny, often making you laugh with an exchange of banter.
Huang Renjun, the whiniest and initially quiet boy, but grows to be one of the loudest and will chew you out if anyone dares try engaging in verbal combat. 
Na Jaemin, the flirty playboy who always has a swarm of girls, but the gentlest man with a soft spot for cute things. 
And finally, Lee Jeno, the owner of your nights. He is the friendliest of them all, despite him being the toughest one. While his stare can kill, melting away his layers reveal the warmest heart. Not that Jeno is the only one to show initial interest in you, but he is the most considerate to the people he holds close to him.
He has taken care of you for many drunk nights and watched protectively over your intoxicated figure in the crowds. He makes you feel safe and seen, which are some of the many reasons you are entirely attracted to him.
“(Y/N)!” Jaemin’s scream pierce your ears the moment the blueberry catches your eye. He excitedly nudges the other two boys, who are busy pouring drinks into red cups.
“You’re going to make me spill it, idiot!” Renjun grumbles, but looks up to see your dazzling smile and tremendous excitement. His own smile grows, “so the life of the party finally decided to say hi.”
“Hi, my fanclub. I appreciate the long awaited greeting.” Your over the top, sarcasm causes all of them to chime loudly. Haechan hands you a cup and wraps his arm around your shoulders. 
Jeno joins you at your side and the five of you clink your drinks to the ceiling. A fit of yells over the music and a competition of who can finish first. As per usual, you set your cup down after draining the entirety. The others are still chugging the burning liquid down their throats. 
Haechan coughs after dropping his cup onto the counter. His face is twisted with the most disgusted contour, “I don’t know how you do it, (Y/N).”
“I already drank more than you guys, so it just tastes like water now.” You scream over the loud music. Jeno, Jaemin and Renjun toss their empty cups into the sink. 
At this rate, you are completely blindsided by the effects of the alcohol as your legs give out to gravity. Jeno catches you quickly, holding your elbows and your head is placed on his shoulder. Jaemin chuckles lovingly, before helping Jeno balance you against the island. Your head feels heavy on your shoulders, as the room spins in front of you. 
“You good?” Haechan pats your head gently, whispering close to you.
“I---” You try catching your breath after being winded. “--It’s hitting me now.”
Jeno wraps his arm around your lower waist to draw you close to him, “want to go sit down?” He mumbles into your hair. You nod, Jeno and Renjun supporting your limp body to walk over to the couch.
The dark living room is lit up only by colorful led lights, but it is not enough to make out much of anything. Everyone is in their own world, dancing and socializing within their own selves. The two men set you down on the cushion, but your impulse catches onto Jeno’s wrist before he leaves. Renjun is already lost in the crowd.
“Can I sit on your lap?” You pout cutely, all the shame in your body has been displaced with courage. Jeno’s eyes soften at your sudden request, and kisses the top of your forehead.
“The throne is all yours.” He says as he sits at your side and pulls you on top of his thick thighs. His arm is loosely dangling around your waist, resting on top of your thighs. 
The intimate position causes your mind to wander into dark thoughts. His strong, sturdy legs feel delicious against your clothed core. While you’ve been in this position once before, you could never forget how protected, yet very horny it makes you feel. 
“What’s on your mind, (y/n)?” Jeno’s deep voice brushes against your bare shoulder and you feel his chest press against your back. “You’ve been pretty silent tonight.”
You turn slightly to face him, “if I told you, I’m scared it would ruin things between us.”
“There’s nothing in the world that can hold me back from you.” He is always so quick to spill such alluring words. His soft lips graze lightly on your skin as his sparkling eyes look up at your expression.
All it takes is one more tiny kiss on your arm to get you grabbing his face, drawing him into a steamy, long awaited kiss. Surprisingly, he kisses you back, open mouth and tongue lapping with your’s. His hands reposition your legs to where you straddle him. Your faces dive deeper into each other’s as the kiss continues to intensify.
Jeno’s lips still have a hint of alcohol, but he mostly tastes like mint gum. And they are comparable to a cloud, the softest lips you have ever made out with. It is like kissing pure heaven, completely different from your boyfriend’s two second pecks. Jeno devours you in a needy way, like he’s been waiting to explore the wonders of your lips. 
However, you pull away when you feel the vibration of his phone against your inner thigh, almost like a wake up call. As if all the liquid courage disappeared, you blink back in shock at Jeno’s plump wet lips. The thought of his girlfriend crosses your mind, and maybe slight guilt for your own boyfriend fills your system.
You quickly start getting up from his hot body, “fuck, I’m so sorry..” But his hands pull you back onto him, your legs finding their way open above his thighs again. 
“Don’t be, I’ve always wondered what your lips would taste like.” A smirk, then a hearty chuckle relaxes your contracting nerves at the potential of a ruined friendship. 
“But, your girlfriend..” Your tiny voice trails off and Jeno picks up your chin. His fingers rubbing along your jawline.
His eyes do another lap around your features. He admires your averting shy eyes, your beautiful lips, and how they all come together to make a stunning you. 
There is no doubt in Jeno’s mind that he is very attracted to you. He knew it the moment you barged into the club meeting. You are his type of woman, a good mixture of confident and timidness. You like to have some fun, and aren't afraid to be bold. Not to mention, that you are incredibly hot and every time you flirt back just makes him melt inside.
“She won’t care. She hooks up with people all the time.” It puzzles you, all this time you had been holding yourself back from Jeno because he has a girlfriend. All to find out that the relationship isn’t as serious as you thought it to be.
“I know, it doesn’t make sense. But we aren’t two people to be tied down, but at the same time, we like each other enough to want to stay together.”
Your confused expression causes Jeno to laugh and ask, “what’s the dilemma with your boyfriend?”
Rolling your eyes at the mention of your boyfriend, you sigh, “it’s like we’re still together, but we aren’t at the same time. We’ve abandoned the relationship unknowingly.”
Jeno runs a warm hand up and down your thigh, while he listens intently to you. He nods, grabbing your waist to pull you over his groin. “I’m sorry to hear that.” 
“No, he’s a shitty person and an even shittier boyfriend. We literally haven’t fucked for the past year. I’m practically a virgin again.” His hand automatically gives your thigh a light squeeze.
Jeno’s eyes light up as you quickly cover your mouth out of embarrassment. A devilish smirk raises his cheekbone, and lust clouds his mind. Gauging his reaction, your cheeks turn hot.
“We’ll have to change that, don’t we? My baby must be all kinds of frustrated. Tell me, do you like when I touch you then?” Jeno drops in tempo, usually when he wants to be more intimidating with a deeper voice. 
You clear your throat intending to speak, but you can only nod your head in response. “C’mon, (Y/N). Use your words, like a big girl.” Even with the loud music and continuous chatter, you can hear Jeno‘s taunting whisper. 
His words tickle your collarbone as he runs his lips against your neck. Your heart is pumping rapidly at the turn of events, as if the possibility of having something beyond a kiss from Jeno is more than possible at this rate. 
Jeno enjoys your small whimpers as he marks your neck with purple love bites. Right in the center of the crowded room, Lee Jeno is just casually giving you hickeys.
“Yes, I love that you can’t keep your hands off of me.” 
Almost immediately, you can feel his lips curve into a smile on your skin. Pop! Jeno marvels the darkness against your skin in the mood lighting. A small part of him hopes you do end up seeing your boyfriend sometime soon, so he can see who you really belong to.
“How about we try touching like this?” Jeno pushes you down hard against his pelvis, the veins on his hands becoming evident from the grip and the tiny drawings permanently staining his fingers.
You gasp the moment you feel Jeno’s hip begin to move underneath you to the beat of the song. He rolls your hips rhythmically to match his speed. His clothed hard on can be felt through the only barrier you have on --- your panties.
The thin fabric is soon drenched in your juices after the continuous friction up and down his length. You throw your head back to every bump against your clit, the electrifying feeling enact more of your wetness to puddle. 
You can’t believe you were grinding against Jeno in the middle of a full party, as if his friends aren’t a few feet away. It is a good thing that your skirt pools around both of your waists to conceal the dirty deed underneath.
Jeno’s lip escapes under his top row of teeth as he rubs his clothed length against your barely covered pussy. He can feel his jeans dampening from your wetness and his eyes roll to the back of his head from how the feeling of wanting you consumes his body. He really becomes uncontrollable when it comes to you. 
This is the most sexual activity you have had with another person for over a year. Jeno just looks absolutely heavenly intoxicated with lust, and your mouth waters at how big his cock must be. You can feel his length the harder Jeno rolls against you, and it is definitely bigger than your boyfriend’s. 
You are trying so hard to stay quiet and unnoticeable, but the pleasure seeps out every crevice. Jeno is trained on you as your hand reaches up to cover your mouth, the muffled whimpers escaping your lips uncontrollably.
“I’m so close.” You admit, your body jolting every time his jean button grazes against your sensitive bud.
Jeno moves you over his thigh, forgetting his incredibly hard dick straining in his jeans. As long as you are satisfied, he can care less about his own pleasure. A low scream erupts from your throat when he flexes against you. 
His thigh is much more stable, with more control for consistency. You quickly notice the dark, wet spot on his jeans and you blush even harder. Your underwear clings onto you from the excessive moisture, but Jeno continues to help you finish.
The strands of hair cover your face, but Jeno needs to see your fucked out expression. He is taken aback when you start riding his thigh faster, grinding harder without the aid of his hands.
His mouth hangs slightly open in awe at your neediness, he truly did not know the extent of your sexual frustrations. Oh, but how he is incredibly turned on by you getting off on him. 
“I want you to cum for me, you deserve it.” Jeno brings you in for another passionate kiss. The mixture of his tongue sucking harshly on yours, and the friction on your clit are more than enough to reach your climax. 
Your legs clenched tightly around Jeno’s thigh. The small knot in your stomach that built, drops like the beat playing in the background. The feeling of white is familiar, but it is more intense than when you would touch yourself. You are finally receiving the pleasure from someone else’s touch, someone who wants you to unravel for him.
Jeno pulls away from your lips, kissing down your neck and collarbones as your chest heaves for air. His palm soothes your shaking legs as your climax subsides. You fall into his arms, and he laughs. The reality that you two just did that publicly registers in both of your minds.
Digging your shy face further into Jeno’s shoulder, he whispers lovingly, “let me drive you home.” 
“Are you still drunk?” The muffled question tickles Jeno’s neck.
“I think you beautifully cumming on my thigh sobered me up.” He jokes and you quickly cover his mouth. Your heart practically stops and you hope no one else heard him.
It is silly that you are now self conscious, as if the whole room didn’t just watch you and Jeno grind on the couch. But, the feeling of embarrassment and regret lingers in your stomach. You mentally thank the dark room for concealing both of your identities.
“I’m sorry for your jeans.” A pout begs for forgiveness as you stare at Jeno’s beaming smile. He takes your hand off of his mouth, not forgetting to give your fingertips a lingering kiss.
“I’m sorry for your boyfriend. He doesn’t know what he’s missing.” Jeno parts your hair from your neck, admiring the marks he left on you. A small sense of pride builds inside of him, accompanied by a tiny bundle of possessiveness.
“Let me say goodbye to the boys and I’ll take you home.” 
Nodding, Jeno carefully lifts you off of him and onto the cushion. He leans over to kiss your cheek. As he gets up, you see the darker shades on his jeans from your doing. However, Jeno is completely unbothered and continues to find his friends.
Now that you are alone, you feel a bit nervous that someone would come up to you and talk about what they saw. Checking your phone, your screen blinds you with absolutely no notifications from your boyfriend. Going on social media is worse, as you scroll to see that your boyfriend posted a photo.
It is a photo of his hot, red polished car. He obnoxiously posed squatting next to the front wheel, his lips puckered up and kissing the rims. With a caption that makes every regret in your body disappear, “with my one and only.” 
The phone is tossed somewhere else, wishing to delete the image from your memory. Your eyes wander around the room, when they spot a suspicious man sneakily dropping a small pill in an unattended drink. He, then, looks up and catches your stare. Caught red handed. 
But the male smugly smirks, “you’re going to pretend you didn’t see that, like how half of this room pretended to not see you grinding on Jeno.” 
“You’re complete scum, I can’t believe you just roofied someone’s drink.” You yell in utter disbelief at the unwavering man. His disgusting smirk changes into a menacing smile.
He approaches you, his height allowing him to tower above. You gulp, scared at how he can easily overpower you at any second.
“And what are you going to do about it? What? Jeno didn’t loosen you up enough?” His revolting hot breath beating down your nose, invading every corner of your personal space. 
Before you can find any insult to speak back, his figure goes flying sideways and out of your face. It’d be a lie to not admit your heart skipping a beat at the sight of Jeno’s clenched fists and locked jaw. His sharp gaze watches as the stranger gets up from the ground, inflammation already growing on his left cheek.
“Dude, what the fuck!” He shouts angrily, holding his cheekbone as he winces at the pain. Immediately, the conversations are replaced with gasps, and small whispers at the sight. People gather around the living room to see the commotion. Even you are unsure how to react to the sudden fight.
The other man lunges at Jeno with full force, but Jeno stops him by grabbing the man’s collar, “this,” Jeno punches his lip, busting it open, “is for dropping a roofie in someone’s drink.”
The stranger groans at the impact, but still gets up with a fist straight for Jeno’s gut. Watching Jeno take a blow is much more difficult than you had been expecting.
He crouches over from the punch, but quickly regains his composure to put the man in a headlock. A few more gasps erupt and wonder if you should stop him before he does something unnecessarily stupid. 
“This,” the man squirms to try to get out of Jeno’s iron grip, “is for disrespecting my babygirl.” And with a shift snap, the male falls limp and unconscious.
A surprised intake of air and Jeno peers up at your scared expression. He calmly walks over to you, ignoring the swarm of people that had gathered around the scene. He can only see one thing — you. Jeno’s wandering eyes try to read your expression, but all he sees is a terrified girl.
“I’m sorry you had to see that, are you okay, (Y/N)?” 
Blinking blankly for a few moments, you are mortified at the laying body, “what did you do to him?” 
Jeno looks back at the stranger casually, “I put him to sleep for a bit. He’ll wake up in about 20 minutes.”
A rush of reassurance washes over you knowing that he is alive and Jeno didn’t just kill someone in front of you. You exhale all the anxiousness and nerves, 
“thank you for stepping in.”
“I don’t fight without a good reason. You are more than a perfect reason to fight for.” He pinches your cheek cutely, and his tough exterior fades away yet again. 
His famous eye smile that warms your insides is back as if the scary, intimidating expression didn’t exist a few seconds ago. Jeno’s good sides only appear with you. Nevertheless, you are happy to know how special you are to see them. 
“Violence is never the answer.” He nods, only taking it for a grain of salt. “Are you okay? It looked like stringbean knocked some wind out of your gut.”
The teddy bear thrusts himself forward into a fit of laughter, his head resting on your lap. His melody lights every dark corner inside of you. “He did get a good punch in there, didn’t he?”
His rumbling laughter stops, and he peers up at you. “I can’t believe you were still worried about a complete asshole.” 
Scoffing, you break the shared gaze. “I’m a compassionate human being.” Jeno stands up, extending his hand for you to take.
“I know, you’re the best kind of person.” He genuinely means it with the way his tone remains quite stern, eye contact unwavering. He is revealing more of his intimate parts, and in return, you wish for him to see your’s. 
Silence drowns out all the commotion between you two. Jeno grows shy at the way the galaxies reflect in your stare. “I--” Never once, did you think you would witness Lee Jeno stammer over his words. “I-I, let’s-- I want to take you for a drive.” 
To Jeno, a drive to him is equivalent to your hand in marriage. Even his own girlfriend has never been on a drive with him. It is a big part of his personality, given that he is a crucial member of the Ridin’ Club. However, out of all of them, he is the last one to flaunt his hobby. It is special, almost sacred to his entire being. 
“Me?” It is the dumbest question to ask, but you really want to clarify his intentions. Before this night, you two were barely considered friends. You two never saw each other outside of the late night parties.
But now, Lee Jeno wants to take you on a drive. It makes you wonder if the desire of companionship is mutual, that he too pines to further your relationship.
“I’m not looking at anyone else,” Jeno still waiting for your hand and holding an intense eye contact. His heart lays exposed for you, just right on his sleeve. An innocence paints his usual intimidating aura, “let me show my special girl, what is special to me.” 
He must possess some magic because he knows every way to make you swoon. And like that, your palm meets his and he locks his fingers between yours. 
The moment you enter Jeno’s striking, eye catching car, you automatically relax into the leather seats. His pristine car matches his personality --- simple, but captivating. Your boyfriend’s car is the exact opposite, which is why you never enjoy sitting in it.
Jeno has pieces of himself that scatter his car, like an adorable small plushie that watches out the back window. A beaded lanyard dangles from his rear view mirror. It even matches his scent of a deep ocean breeze.
Unlike your boyfriend’s obnoxious details, Jeno did not have a light up stereo that flashed annoyingly to every beat drop in a song. Instead, a sweet lilac color illuminates at your feet, along with his. 
“You like what you see?” Jeno catches you astonish at the tiny aspects of the interior. 
“Of course, it’s yours. It’s exactly like how I would imagine it to be.” Jeno is proud, hearing you praise his car. Even he can admit, it is a bit weird to be so connected to an inanimate object.
Nevertheless, his car, racing, driving became a huge part of his life. And unlike his friends, he feels rather shy and slightly embarrassed for being such a geek. 
But hearing you actually appreciating the small details of his car when you probably hate every aspect of racing due to your boyfriend’s doing, it makes him feel very happy.
Maybe happy is an understatement, more like overjoy at how you freely can recognize the things that make him content. You respect him, and are mindful that as mundane as a car is, you know that it is something important to him.
Silence becomes the majority of the ride out of the quiet, suburban neighborhood. While Jeno’s eyes remain focused on the road ahead, you are concentrated on him.
He drives with one hand on the wheel as he rests his elbow on the middle console. His eyebrow creases here and there. It is the most normal, mundane activity anyone can do --- drive. That is all he is doing, yet the effect it suddenly has on you can not go unnoticed. 
Abruptly, with the rev of the engine and a press on the gas, the car practically flies on the empty freeway. It catches you off guard, causing you to hold onto the grab handle. Jeno peeks over at your shocked figure, and smiles to himself.
“Relax, (Y/N).” He calls your name, reaching over to rub your thigh as a way to calm your anxiousness. Automatically, your hand grips onto his for support and the other one drops from the handle. 
Exhaling, your eyes are trained ahead. The car is moving so fast that you can’t even make out anything around you. Everything becomes nothing, but colorful streaks against a dark background. The gravity against your chest feels crushing.
“How-- How fast are you going?” 
Jeno glances at the speedometer and intertwines your fingers into his own. “I don’t think I should tell you that, you might actually have a heart attack.” 
The window rolls down and you are hit with rumbling wind, “I know you’re scared right now, so stick your head out the window and take a deep breath.”
You look at him in pure fear, “what?! I can’t even move, let alone stick my head out the window!”
Jeno shakes his head, “trust me. Please, trust me.” He needs you to experience the same thrill he does. His own adrenaline is through the roof, out the entire atmosphere of the vehicle. The amount of joy he is experiencing became tenfold now that you are sitting beside him. 
You trust him and very meticulously, go against the wind. Your hair crazily dances along with the rush and your eyes water from being dried out. Adjusting to the pressure, you also stick your hand out the window. It whips backward, but you feel the wind slip between your fingers.
The rise in heartbeat and excitement pump through your veins. The beauty in the white streaks that create a runway, it is nothing but you and the open space. There is no other way to explore it, except at a high pace. You understand why Jeno loved it so much. 
Jeno bounces between the road and half of your figure out his window. Your eyes are closed initially, before you barely squint open. Tears fly by with strands of your hair, but you start to move your hand to physically feel the thrill pass between your fingers.
Then he sees it in the side mirror: the sweet curve in your lips he loves the most and the wideness of life in your eyes. It only makes him press the gas harder.
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“That was incredible! You should take me riding with you more.” You marvel at him as he starts the route to your place. It is complete playfulness that hints in your tone because you are aware of how sacred these are to him. Nevertheless, a part of you still hopes he agrees to do so.
Jeno nods, “only because I like you,” He pauses, gauging your reaction with his side eye gaze, “a lot.”
Your heart sinks to an unsettling place in your stomach. Jeno could not possibly be serious, however, his tone no longer matches the playfulness of your own. It almost seems like he is telling the truth. But you didn’t want to believe that. 
Your eyes make a full circle before settling at the disappearing sidewalks, “stay in your lane, Jeno.” It is to keep the mood still light, you and Jeno aren’t ones to be serious. 
His hand has been on your thigh for the whole night, whether it be out of habit or comfort. His touch is always welcoming and warm, but suddenly, you feel the small squeeze on your flesh. Turning your attention on his face, you can see how a smirk has grown. 
“But yours seems much more fun.” Immediately, your stomach leaps with somersaults. Your throat gets dry and tight, not anticipating that response. 
“Beside, you can’t act like we both haven’t swerved. It was barely moments ago that you were cum---”
“---No need to further explain.” 
“And I’d proudly do it again.” His voice drops several decibels and his hand slowly snakes it’s way up your thigh. All the while, his eyes still on the road ahead.
You gulp as every heartbeat constricts your throat. Lifting the ends of your skirt higher to expose more, you secretly want Jeno to cause your legs to shake again. “D-Do what again?”
Jeno perks up to the sweetness of curiosity in your tone. He pulls up to a red stoplight, being able to finally look over to your innocent face and needy hands gripping the cute, thin fabric. He stares deeply into your eyes, “make my baby cum.” 
Similarly to the stoplight, you give Jeno the green light to pull your panties to the side. You spread your legs wide as his finger massages your pussy lips. He gets dangerously close to your erect clit, barely skimming over it. 
A needy, yet delicate moan escapes your lips and Jeno’s jaw tightens. He’s more upset that he’s missing the view of your legs spread, open mouth in ecstasy, half lid eyes all in the passenger seat of his car. He hopes for another red light, just so he can peek over at your delicious figure.
“Jeno, please touch me.” Your voice is airy and desperate. He hummed in response, completely withdrawing his hand from your core. However, you catch his wrist and bring it to rest on your inner thigh. “Please.” 
The distinct beg in your tone drives him crazy. As he dips his finger into your sudden wetness, a shiver runs up your spine. Right when he applies minimal pressure on your bundle of nerves, you jolt and close your thighs around his hand.
One touch already feels too good to be true, that finally someone, Lee fucking Jeno, is actually touching your nakedness. Peering down, Jeno’s arm is flexing in between your legs. His veins popping ever so slightly and his tattoos paint his smooth skin. 
“Open your legs, babe.” His low devilish chuckle rumbles in your lower abdomen. “Let me give you the lovin’ you’ve been deprived of.” 
You shudder at his cadence and slowly pry open your legs. Jeno stops at a red light and gets to see your reaction as he rubs you in a fast rhythmic pace. A soft cry yelps from your throat and you have to grip the handle to keep yourself from spazzing out any further. 
Almost like a trance, he doesn’t notice that the light turns green. He’s locked into the sight of your contorting body. Your hips have a mind of its own, yet again, as Jeno feels you rolling deeper into his touch.
“Poor baby, you’re so touch starved that you can’t control yourself.” 
“It feels better when you do it.” You whine, your lip being bruised from your biting. But your eyes notice the green illumination and you blink over at Jeno.
He is practically drooling at the sight of you, his eyes are trained at your needy hips and dripping wet core that soaks his fingers. You stop every urge to steal more kisses from him.
Jeno briefly recovers from the trance and steps on the gas. He takes this opportunity to ease a finger into the core, causing you to exclaim and squeeze around his digit. “Oh fuck, you’re so tight.” 
“More, Jeno.” The way his name rolls off of your tongue makes his heart flutter and his dick to raise in his jeans. Without much hesitation, he slowly slips in another finger and you moan at the stretch. Pumping and curling, he ensures that you are enjoying every action.
His fingers curl against your plushy flesh and your legs spread wider for him to go deeper. You’re a moaning mess when he curls up to your sweet spot, rubbing his fingertips quickly. The familiar queasy feeling builds in your lower regions, and Jeno becomes merciless with his fingers.
He guides them in and out of you, feeling your tightness release and invite him back in. The sloppy wet noises fill the car and drown out the engine. Your half lidded eyes bounce at Jeno’s unbothered figure and the entire scene seems absolutely unbelievable to you.
One hand on the wheel. The other knuckles deep in your pussy. Eyes focus on the road ahead. A comfortable man spread. His hair is messy from the long night.
It is all too unbelievable, that Jeno’s already giving you a second climax of the night when you could barely get one in a year before. And he loves touching you as much as he loves driving. 
However, the guilty raises as fast as the ball of tension in your gut. You two pull up in front of your apartment building, while Jeno’s tugging his fingers against your flesh aggressively. In a split second, you hold onto his wrist to stop him. 
He shifts into park when the car settles into a spot and peers over to you. A curious expression daunts onto him, rather concern that he might have been too much. “I’m starting to feel guilty.” 
Jeno nods, and retrieves his fingers out of your dripping core. The feeling of emptiness causes all the built up pressure to dissipate.
“I understand,” he begins, but pauses at the sight of your sticky juices glistening on his fingers. Your eyes widen as he licks them clean, a soft moan escaping from the back of his throat. 
The small action spikes your heart rate and you rub your legs together. With a pop! Jeno hums delightfully, “baby, you taste so good. I’m a little sad I won’t be tasting more, especially directly from the source.” His lustful eyes glance down at your thighs and back to your profile. 
“I’ll walk you up to your apartment.” He says way too casually, unbuckling his seat belt. A mixture of emotions are running through your head. There is guilt, but lust is too powerful to ignore, especially when it’s Lee Jeno. The damage is already done, right? It’s not like it wasn’t moments ago that you humped him in the middle of a party. 
“Wait,” your hands find themselves gripping onto his leather jacket tightly. Jeno gently reaches over to release your strong grip and replaces the leather with his hand. 
“Yes, babygirl?” Jeno’s round, friendly eyes meet yours. The lust clouded darkness is no longer there. His hand feels hot and somewhat rough. 
“I’m going to break up with my boyfriend, so promise me, you’re not going to dip out of my life afterwards… I don’t need you to be anything more than a friend. I just can’t lose you too.”
He turns around in his seat to face you comfortably. “I don’t think you’ve noticed, but I can’t stay away from you, let alone have the ability to leave you.” He reassures you with a soothing and calm tone. His thumb draws circles around your knuckles. “I’m always going to be your friend, whether or not I know how you taste.” 
“Do you still want to try it … you know, from the source?” You shyly ask, an innocence embodying your gaze and voice cadence.
Jeno raises an eyebrow, a smirk on his lips. “I’d love to, only if you let me.” 
Instantly, you shift to get on your lower back. Jeno watches as you excitedly position yourself open for him and actually finds your eagerness quite adorable. Your left leg bends behind the driver’s seat and your right rests on the dashboard. 
He hooks his arms underneath your thighs to pull you forward towards him and your whole body slides against the leather. With a slow lift, your skirt reveals your drenched panties. Rolling them off and tossing them to the back seat, he lays eyes on your still dripping pussy. Jeno takes a second to admire your flower, this being his first time he’s seen such a private part of you.
“You’re beautiful, you know that right?” He chuckles deeply, before his tongue licks a long strip up to your clit. You exclaim out of the tingling pleasure that seized your insides.
He flattens his tongue against your bundle of nerves, flicking and circling. His finger enters your pussy again, curling up to rub at the same pace he is licking. The pure sight of Jeno’s head in between your legs is enough for butterflies to explode. 
His sole motive is to make you feel good. There is nothing else in the world that he wants at this moment beside pleasure to overtake your body. Jeno eats you out like he hasn’t had a meal in months. His mouth wraps around your clit. The mixture of his flicks and sucks cause electric bolts to run down your legs. 
You get more wet as Jeno pumps his finger in and out of your hole. Your juices are practically dripping onto the interior of the car, but Jeno doesn’t care.
He fucking loves it. He loves the taste of you lingering on his tongue. Your breathless moans. Your waterfall dripping on uncontrollably. The view of you unwinding because of him. Nothing can be more perfect. 
Running your hands through his messy locks, you press him closer into you. A devilish smile draws on his face as he flicks his tongue side to side. “Oh, fuck! I’m.. so c--close.” 
Your back arches upward into Jeno’s mouth, feeling his muscle lick harder and faster on your throbbing clit. He adds a second finger, and the simultaneous stimulation practically throws you into another dimension. The pleasure overtakes your entire lower half, your legs trembling from pure ecstasy as you approach your orgasm.
“Don’t stop, I’m going to---” Then, Jeno pulls away and shoves his tongue into your warmth. A gasp hits the air as he also continues to rub circles on your sensitive nerves. His tongue fucked your pussy incredibly skillfully and deliciously. With this switch, your legs violently shake and try clamping together.
However, his strength holds you wide and open for display. A low grunt follows suit as his dark eyes zone in on your contoured facial expressions. Then, the white light blind you once again and the ball of tension unravels itself on Jeno’s tongue. Squirming and screaming, your hips buck forward on their own. 
It is close to being too catastrophic, this being the most intense orgasm you’ve had after a whole year. Nevertheless, the satisfaction is right on the tips of your toes and you greedily indulge in the euphoric moment. Jeno feels your walls squeeze around his muscle as he laps every last bit of you up.
He is absolutely addicted to your juices, making sure he catches every drop. Finally pulling away, he wipes the extra drip on the back of his hand. Jeno blinks at your raising chest and limp legs. Chuckling, his warm hand massages feeling back into your body.
“Do you want me to carry you back up?” His hoarse, raspy voice wakes you from your post orgasm daydream. You flutter your lashes at him fondly and happily nod at his offer. 
Getting out of the car, Jeno walks over to the passenger side and your arms rest nicely around his neck. His palms support your butt, but also smoothing your skirt over to cover your decency. A poke against your outer thigh makes you realize that Jeno is strained against his jeans.
“I can take care of you too.” You pout cutely at Jeno, but he shakes his head.
“It’s not about me tonight. It’s about you.” Leaving a soft kiss on your cheek, his eyes turn into moon crescents from his lovable smile. The kind, friendliness makes an appearance again.
Or so you think! In a sheer second, Jeno’s deep voice rumbles your stomach and his hooded eyes pierce your soul, “next time though, I’m fucking you real good, babe.” 
You hum in response. Saliva collects in your mouth, already looking forward to more of Jeno. But a chilly draft brushes up your exposed area as Jeno carries you up the flight of stairs.
“Wait, Jeno… I don’t have my underwear on.” The ‘Level 3’ sign is in view as Jeno turns to walk. 
He only laughs and shrugs nonchalantly, “it’s better that way anyways.” Without another word, he continues upward to your floor and you playfully punch his solid chest. In all honesty, that’s not going to be the only time you leave behind your panties in his beloved car. 
Your hatred for the notorious Ridin’ Club subside after such a wild night. If anything, you owe it all to your shitty ex-boyfriend for joining such a ridiculous club. Without him and the club’s existence, who knows if Lee Jeno would’ve still swerve into your lane. 
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chicgeekgirl89 · 3 years ago
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A Soft Place to Land
Fandom: 911 Lone Star
Characters: Carlos Reyes, Andrea Reyes
A/N: Boy needs his mom so I sent him home. I wrote this after the first ep of Season 3 and I am feeling very vindicated in my inclusion of Andrea Reyes since Tim has let it slip that we're seeing her in ep 4. Also, it’s not often I make myself cry with my own fic, but this one did it. 
@bluenet13 is the best beta reader I could ever ask for and the only reason anything gets done around here. Thanks friend!
Read on AO3
He didn’t know why he’d come to the ranch. He’d just…found himself here. Likely because he didn’t know where else to go.
It had been two weeks since his life had fallen apart. Every carefully made plan, every hope and dream evaporated, gone, leaving him wandering through the darkness of each day alone. Truly alone, because he hadn’t told a single soul. His pain was too unreal, too deep seated for him to speak the words aloud. It was like he was in shock and couldn’t quite get himself re-oriented in his new reality.
He’d spent every night since driving. There were miles of open road outside of town, so after his shift he’d get in the Camaro and drive until he was so exhausted that he dropped into his bed and fell instantly asleep. When he was driving his thoughts chased him, but they couldn’t catch up.
Tonight he’d only realized where he was when the road ran out and he’d found himself in the driveway. The house was dark, no one was home, which meant it was probably Tuesday. On Tuesdays his mom went to Bible study and his dad did his one overnight shift a week. That was fine. He wasn’t good company for anyone right now.
He should have just turned around and driven away, but some compulsion or other made him get out of the car and use his key to enter the kitchen. The stove light was on, casting a warm, honey colored glow over the room. His eyes found the long kitchen table, it’s top bearing the scars of years of family meals. Kids, grandkids, cousins, tíos and tías had all gathered around it time and time again, eating, drinking, playing games, doing homework, cooking meals. This table was a part of the family as much as any person sharing his DNA.
He’d grown up at this table. 
He’d brought T.K. to this table. 
Tears rose to the surface and he turned away, brushing them off with the back of his hand. There was no point in crying over broken history, even if its jagged edges were cutting away at him like a knife. 
He forced himself to move, his hands pulling open the pantry door. He’d just grab a couple jars of salsa and scribble a note to his mom so she didn’t bring the entire Texas Ranger force in to investigate a burglary committed by her own son of the family’s secret recipe, then he’d be on his way.
He was searching for a pen when the overhead light snapped on, surprising him completely. Apparently breaking up with the love of his life was a great way to send his police officer observation skills down the toilet.
“Carlitos!” His mother put a hand to her heart. “You scared me! What are you doing here so late?”
“Sorry,” he said, holding up a jar giving her a wan smile. “I just came by for salsa.”
“You were only going to take one jar? You can have more than that mijo, I made a big batch with Tía Gloria last week,” Andrea said, putting down her purse and opening the cupboard to pull out two more.
“No, Ma, one is fine,” Carlos protested, already knowing it was in vain. He was going to be lucky to leave here with less than six or seven Tupperwares full of food. None of which he was hungry for. 
“I’ll give you some of the enchiladas I made last night too,” she said, pausing to look him up and down. “You look skinny.”
She wasn’t wrong; he probably had lost weight. He hadn’t really had much of an appetite the last couple weeks as his carefully built life had unraveled around him and sent him crashing to his knees.
“Oh! And I have some of those Mexican candies T.K. likes,” she said, turning toward the pantry.
Her words had him gripping the counter for support. The hole that had been ripped in his chest by the breakup still felt like a fresh wound, bleeding and raw, so much so that he nearly gasped for air, a hand going up to rub the spot right over where his heart had previously lived.
His mom was talking about his sister Teresa’s promotion at work and Carlos was nodding and “mm’ing” in what he thought were the right places, but inside he felt like he was dying. Like he was caving inward, broken beyond repair, a shell of a person. He tried to remind himself that he’d had a life before T.K., a good, fully, happy life, but he couldn’t remember what that looked like anymore. He only felt alone and bereft and—
“Carlos?”
Oh crap. He must have stopped responding. His eyes refocused and he found his mother looking at him intently. “Sorry, what?”
“I asked if you wanted corn tortillas. I bought some at the market, your father and I will never eat them all.”
“Sure, yes,” Carlos nodded. “Tortillas would be great.”
She set down the Tupperware in her hands, studying him from across the kitchen. “Why did you really come here tonight?”
He shuffled his feet. “I told you, the salsa.”
“You and I both know that you can make your own salsa. Do you really think I raised five children and don’t know when I’m being lied to?”
“It’s nothing,” he said, even though he could feel his grip on his emotions weakening under the weight of her gaze. The words coming out of his mouth didn’t even sound like him. “Just salsa.”
She put her hands on her hips, her eyes soft, gentle, inviting. “Talk to me mi amor. Tell me what’s hurting you.”
His eyes found the table again. The table where she’d cared for him and his sisters and anyone else who had walked through their door. The table that meant home and love and family. The table where she’d bandaged his skinned knee and wiped away his tears when he was six, where she’d consoled him at age twelve when Teresa had left for college, where she’d hugged him tightly when his team had lost the state championship his junior year of high school.
He’d spent hours in this kitchen being consoled by his mother when he was at his absolute lowest, and it had called him here tonight once again. He was broken and she was his mom and he needed her right now.
“Mama, T.K. and I—we—” He was finally ready to speak, but in this moment he found there were no words. Not a single one that could explain the agony inside him. 
A choked sob burst out and once the dam broke he couldn’t stop it. He clutched at the counter, tears falling freely, gasping for air that refused to fill his lungs, everything inside of him pouring out on a wave of anguishing heartbreak.
“Oh Carlitos,” she said, with all the sympathy of a mother who feels every pain her child has as if it’s her own.
She gathered him into her arms as if he were a kid again, holding him while he cried, while he finally released all of the pent up grief and broken dreams. 
“I just thought,” he managed after a while, his voice weak and pained. “I thought he was the one. I thought we were forever. And I was—I was wrong.”
She reached out and brushed a curl from his forehead. “Just because things are not working now, does not mean you were wrong.”
Carlos shook his head. “Dad is always telling me to trust my gut, and I thought I was. It felt real. And now it feels like it was a lie. That I lied to myself the entire time, seeing things that weren’t really there.”
“Oh mijo, just because you are hurting, doesn’t mean it was a lie. It’s because you are hurting that you know it was true. If the love hadn’t been real, you would not feel so sad that it’s gone.” She squeezed his arm. “Tell me what happened.”
This time the words came, haltingly at first, then faster, spilling out of him as if they’d spent the last two weeks trying to escape and were finally free of the confines of his body. He’d been falling for days and his mother had provided him with a soft place to land. 
“There’s just no working it out this time,” he said when he was done, voice hoarse from speaking and exhaustion. “We’re broken. I’ve lost him.”
“If I could give you all the answers and take your pain away, I would,” Andrea told him. “I would give you the heart out of my body if you needed it, but since I cannot fix this for you I will simply tell you this: Lost things can be found again.” She put her hands on his cheeks. “And broken things can be mended.” She kissed his forehead. “Stay tonight. You shouldn’t drive home like this.”
She turned away and opened the fridge. “Sit. I have lasagna. You need to eat something. What would Tía Maria say if she saw you like this? She would tell me I’m a bad mother for letting you starve.”
His world was falling apart and his mother offered lasagna. Because Andrea Reyes believed all problems looked a little less problematic when you had eaten something and been told how much she loved you. 
Tonight he wasn’t sure it was going to work. But it was less miserable than being alone in his car. At least it felt like home. 
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sakura-83 · 3 years ago
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Things from Anne with an e that I feel like writing down
Season 1 Episode 7: Wherever You Are Is My Home
⚠️WARNING!!!⚠️ this episode not only talks about suicidal thoughts but also a character trying to commit such acts, of you are sensitive to this I suggest you just skip this post or at least skip #75-77
1. Anne calling it comforting that no two snowflakes are alike, as well as calling snow a sign of gods forgiveness as he blankets the dead world in a beautiful frost
2. Josie gossiping about her while she’s RIGHT THERE
3. Her and moody just talking
4. “And I love Christmas, don’t you?” “I don’t know, but I plan to.” “Did you not have Christmas at the orphanage?” “There wasn’t much to it really. I’m not sure why Father Christmas wasn’t able to stop there, maybe the matron scared him off.”
5. “Do you at least know if they’re going to keep you?” “Keep me!?”
6. Anne trying to sing with the others but the other voices quickly fading out as she panics and rushes home
7. “They’re not going to send you back, you’re in the Bible and everything!”
8. Marilla has every right to be angry that Matthew rushed their home without even discussing it
9. “I knew you’d lose your head-“ “Oh, I oughta smack yours right off your shoulders!”
10. Matthew is prone to heart attacks, the very same thing causing his death in the books
11. “He’s had an episode of the heart” just a funny way to say heart attack, sort of long winded
12. Marilla not understanding the complex math because she had to leave school when she was young
13. Anne helping her with it because she’s top of her class
14. “Not keeping you? You’re a Cuthbert, for better or for worse! No getting out of it now.”
15. The awful bank not relenting on the payback schedule despite the fact that Matthew cannot work. Corporations are cruel and ungiving despite the human struggles and needs of its clients and it hurts. I know the bank invested that money and they need it back but Matthew was indisposed by a tragic event and to not only not extent but to SHORTEN the payback schedule is just unfeeling
16. Marilla putting out an ad to the mainland to take in borders
17. The terrifying idea that you must sell everything you have in order to survive
18. Marilla being desperate yet still too prideful to accept charity
19. The fact that it not only effects the family but also Jerry, as they can’t afford to pay him. It puts him out of a job and lowers his families income
20. A reoccurring theme I love in this show is the idea that the characters will give up their belongings, no matter how sentimental, in the name of family. Matthew selling his dead brothers watch, Marilla selling her grandmothers brooch, Anne selling the dress of her dreams, all because no matter how important these items are, they are just things. That family is more important, so even though it pains you to have to give those things up, you do it in the name of love for others
21. “Theyre just things.”
22. Anne feeling sorrow and yet being excited to stay at aunt Josephine’s
23. Despite being told she can keep the dress, Anne insists on selling it back because it’s a family effort
24. Anne being exited for a solo adventure and then getting stuck with jerry
25. Jerry has to be there to get money Anne his family is hungry :(
26. “I don’t actually need your help.” “When’s the last time you drove a sleigh? Auctioned a horse? Let’s go.”
27. Diana giving her things to sell as well
28. Jerry knows how to drive a sleigh?????
29. “It’s not so bad to ask for help sometimes, y’know?” “If I needed help I would say so.” “No you wouldn’t.” “Yes, I would.” “Wouldn’t.” “Would! Times infinity.” “What???”
30. Jerry singing in French
31. “No singing. I mean it. I’m serious, Jerry! This is an important journey! I WILL KILL YOU WITH MY BEAR HANDS!”
32. Jerry grinning as she gets madder
33. Anne bring mystified by the dress shop
34. “I’m here to return a dress.” Is something wrong with it?” “Not a thing.” “Do you not like it?” “It is my very favorite thing that I have ever possessed in life. But I need to return it to help my family.” “You’re Anne, Matthew’s Anne!” “I am! How nice it is to hear it said that way.”
35. Anne being upbeat until Jeannie asks what’s wrong and then ask just breaks down
36. Poor Jerry waiting outside in the snow for her
37. Either Matthew spent some much money on Anne’s dress or Jeannie gave her extra, or both
38. “Did Matthew really spend this much?..” “You’re worth a lot to him.”
39. “I hate to say goodbye…” “😏 I won’t be so long~” “To the HORSE, Jerry. Why are you so annoying.”
40. “You’re a good horse Birdie, try to remember that. Someone will be very lucky to have you.”
41. Birdie really is a beautiful horse though
42. Anne’s little “my parents are spies” act she uses on the pawn broker
43. The pawn broker is so understandable rude because of his profession, it makes him equally annoying and funny
44. “What a piece of work you are.”
45. Anne is so good at making up stories on the spot
46. “If you can’t afford it I completely understand.”
47. I love how snide remarks of “being a good Christian” are frequent and effective insults in the 1800’s
48. Poor Jerry doesn’t just get beaten up and robbed, he gets brutally beaten by two grown men and there’s nothing he can do despite that being… his last paycheck. That was the last income he was going to give his family and he’s so ashamed of himself that he keeps apologizing for it despite most of the money being his. He apologizes to Anne, to Matthew, it bothers him for months to come
49. Gilbert’s back!!
50. “Still seems unreal. Even though I just sold all our… everything.”
51. “He’s a good man.” “I love him with all my heart. I don’t know what if do if…”
52. Them arguing over not arguing
53. Anne apologizing
54. “Anyway…” “Anyway..”
55. I genuinely didn’t realize that the men who beat up Jerry are the same men that took in borders at green gables, I got the same face blindness as Jerry himself
56. “I’ve missed you.” “Yeah?” “At school, theres.. no one to compete with.” “”You want to spell out a few words for old times sake?” “How about… truce?”
57. Jerry thinking Gilbert was going to hurt Anne and take her money and immediately jumping in to stop him despite swaying on his feet
58. When Anne asks him if he’s okay he immediately starts apologizing about the money
59. “I don’t like the city.”
60. “Just take care of yourself, and come home someday.”
61. Anne and Gilbert staring at each other quietly
62. “This is a palace, not a house.”
63. Jerry assuming that they’ll make him sleep in the stable instead of inside the massive house
64. “I’ll look after belle.”
65. “This city is rife with ruffians!”
66. Aunt Josephine insisting on helping
67. Matthew lamenting his own life, talking of how his life insurance will give them a sizable sum and how he drags them down despite them needing him
68. “Anne loves you, you have to remember that.” “But her future…” “Which do you think she would choose, this house or you?”
69. Jerry bring terrified to stay in a room by himself because he’s always had his family around him
70. Anne making room for him only for him to sleep upside down
71. “Don’t worry, I don’t kick like my sisters.” “Yeah, you’d better not.”
72. “Everything will be alright. It’ll be alright..”
73. Aunt Josephine helping by paying for Jerry to work at Green Gables, as well as giving Anne books
74. “We’ve been together all these years, thick or thin, so don’t think I’ll put up with you slipping away now. Anne will be home today, and she’ll be very happy to see you.”
75. Matthew trying to kill himself because the life insurance would pay off the debt he caused
76. Jeannie happening to show up and find Matthew with the gun just in time as he tries to hide what he’s almost done from her, realizing what he’s done
77. The way they stress how his passing would effect Anne the most because of what they mean to each other, that she will suffer without him despite what he’s trying to do
78. “Don’t ever get old…” “Too late for that.”
79. “You would’ve left us that way!? Left me?..”
80. “Give it back. I won’t take charity.” “But.. love isn’t charity.” “I won’t take it.” “Nay I ask why not?” “We will not be pitied! I don’t want people thinking we can’t fend for ourselves.” “Well at the moment we can’t, and I’d sure give my last bit of strength or my last dollar to help a friend. Then I know that friend would feel grateful and loved above all else. And I do. I feel very grateful to have such a dear friend as Miss Barry. Sometimes you just have to let people love you Marilla.”
81. Anne selling her cleaning services to make steady income
82. “We’re rich, aren’t we Matthew?”
83. Jerry carving a star for the Christmas tree!!!!!!
84. Anne’s friends coming to sing carols at their house
85. Anne helping Matthew walk outside
86. Not Nate :(
87. Nathaniel, the bane of my existence
29 notes · View notes
sagamemes · 4 years ago
Text
the sheridan tapes  📼  part two.   here and under the cut, you can find over 130 lines of dialogue from the horror podcast the sheridan tapes, specifically from episodes four to six, edited for roleplay purposes. some of these focus heavily on survival, war, science, and spooky stuff, but a lot can be used by anyone.  tw:  war, unreality, a mention of cannibalism, implications of manic behaviour.
❝  god, i hate snowstorms like this. not just getting caught in them, but the storms themselves. it feels like the earth’s trying to bury me alive every time it locks in like this. like nature’s rightly pissed off at all of us and doing its level best to crush us to death.  ❞
❝  that’s what yom kippur means:  the day of atonement.  ❞
❝  that wasn’t the first time i’ve caught him in my office, going through my stuff.  ❞
❝  normally i’d be annoyed at someone calling me young lady.  ❞
❝  thank you… you are so warm… thank you for letting me in.  ❞
❝  suddenly, everything fell into place. i made more progress than i had in about half a year.  ❞
❝  the thing i remember most was catching disapproving glances from my father every time i went to the library.  ❞
❝  why does time only run forward?  why does cause need to precede effect?  ❞
❝  no one knows if they can trust me with casework or not.  ❞
❝  i didn’t say i was interested.  ❞
❝  [he/i] was taken off duty and sent for psychiatric evaluation the next day.  ❞
❝  coffee. i was making coffee.  ❞
❝  i didn't mean to get stuck out here.  ❞
❝  that just goes to show how small humans really are in the grand scheme of things:  take away our tools and our toys and our technology, and we’re still just as vulnerable as we ever were.  ❞
❝  she was good at that:  making you feel like you were safe, like you could open up to her.  ❞
❝  i’m just going to cover that one up. no harm in keeping it out of sight for the moment.  ❞
❝  maybe there was someone in the stairs.  ❞
❝  i think i did the lion’s share of the talking, which almost never happens.  ❞
❝  i couldn’t get to sleep... i figured i’d get a head start today.  ❞
❝  i’m afraid i don’t have all of the details of your involvement with the… tragic events in [place]. and i don’t think i’m the only one.  ❞
❝  i’m still not sure i understand the whole tradition.  ❞
❝  whatever it is, it’s chasing me. i can hear it’s footsteps in the snow, i can hear it—  ❞
❝  when you work nights here, the less you really think about them, the better.  ❞
❝  honestly, i just can’t get it out of my head.  ❞
❝  snow is one of nature’s simplest and most effective ways of killing you dead if you aren’t prepared for it.  ❞
❝  i wish you’d tell me what you’re doing here. i could lose my job if anything gets broken or if you end up getting hurt in there…  ❞
❝  would you say you… considered her a friend?  ❞
❝  would you mind saying your name again?  for the recording?  ❞
❝  if that was true, then there was something—and as a scientist, i hate to say this—supernatural going on in that lab.  ❞
❝  most of them didn’t make it. a lot of them died afraid and alone, too.  ❞
❝  i know you don’t like listening to these things, so i just wanted to help you out with…  ❞
❝  if i could sleep, then trust me, i would.  ❞
❝  i’m guessing the new owners are trying to make this place seem less creepy than it already is.  ❞
❝  my schooling was expensive and unremarkable.  ❞
❝  a lot of them died afraid and alone, too:  ideal conditions for the making of poltergeists, in my experience.  ❞
❝  look, i’m sorry, but this really isn’t a good time for anything, so if you wouldn’t mind…  ❞
❝  basically, i was picturing a slightly creepier morticia addams. i couldn’t have been more wrong.  ❞
❝  now i have to deal with [name]’s aspirations to write drama..  ❞
❝  i promise i won’t get you sacked.  ❞
❝  i’ve never been very religious, but for some reason… it made me think of hell.  ❞
❝  i think it may have been a thank you.  ❞
❝  i’m working the graveyard shift and i noticed the lights were on.  ❞
❝  i shouldn’t be here. no one asked me to come in this early.  ❞
❝  everyone around here looks at me like i’m some kind of leper.  ❞
❝  i had to go home for a few hours. i’m already on thin ice around here, and i didn’t want to get in more trouble for screaming obscenities up and down the wall.  ❞
❝  it was… darkness. no, that doesn’t do it credit, the whole place was dark. this was just... void.  ❞
❝  if i’d seen her anywhere else, i’d think she was an athlete or a backpacker.  ❞
❝  better scientists than me have been bashing their heads into that particular wall since 1927.  ❞
❝  i just want you to know that… whatever you really are... you’re safe here.  ❞
❝  goats being goats, it would just come back the next day looking for food.  ❞
❝  i would like you to leave my office now… and i’ll ask you not to tamper with evidence in the future, understood?  ❞
❝  no, of course, i don’t have signal out here, so i can’t just call triple-a.  ❞
❝  what are you doing in my office—at four goddamn thirty in the morning?  ❞
❝  you ever wonder where the line is?  you know, between human and not?  ❞
❝  the funny thing i’ve noticed about war:  no matter how terrible the fighting is, there always seems to be too much waiting. too much quiet. too much sitting around, bored to tears between fits of chaos and violence, lost in routine while waiting for the other shoe to drop.  ❞
❝  a lot of people condemn them for that. we’re so sure we’d never resort to that—that we’d rather die than cross that unspoken boundary.  ❞
❝  i’ve been at the [workplace/institution] for ten years now. that’s long enough to know that the ones who ask questions are the ones who can’t cut it.  ❞
❝  the program blew every fuse in the lab. including the lights.  ❞
❝  it was soon after they left that i began to have trouble sleeping.  ❞
❝  perhaps we never knew each other as well as most friends do, but… we cared for one another.  ❞
❝  most of her questions are a bit above my pay grade.  ❞
❝  i’m trying, i’m trying! i can’t get the door open!  ❞
❝  i don’t know why she needed my help:  i think she had a better grasp of it than most science fiction writers.  ❞
❝  we both had places to be afterwards, so we kind of rushed. i really wish i’d taken the time to say goodbye.  ❞
❝  i guess some things just… don’t want to stay buried.  ❞
❝  it was completely against orders of course, but no one really noticed or cared that far from the front.  ❞
❝  i offered to buy him a cup of coffee.  ❞
❝  newspapers praised them at the time:  saw them as heroes of exploration and paragons of pioneer courage.  ❞
❝  i signed a lot of big, scary nda’s during my time there.  ❞
❝  i did the only thing that came to mind:  i took a grenade from my belt, removed the pin, and threw it.  ❞
❝  i doubt this storm will last more than a couple of days, and once it lets up we can sneak out of here and get going again. very, very carefully.  ❞
❝  given enough time, everything will rot away to its elementary components, and that, you can’t reverse.  ❞
❝  i really can’t see anything from inside the van.  ❞
❝  i knew there were a few experiments that dealt with some pretty high-level theoretical concepts, but i wasn’t directly involved with any of them.  ❞
❝  it’s a strange choice, but then again, he’s a strange man.  ❞
❝  i know, it sounds ridiculous. trust me, i’ve done everything i can think of to make that conclusion go away.  ❞
❝  scared the bejeezus out of a bunch of skiers, but they were nice enough to let me in after deciding i probably wasn’t a ghost.  ❞
❝  please… it burns my skin… please…  ❞
❝  i forgot how fast storms blow in up here.  ❞
❝  it’s not like i felt out of control:  it felt more natural than breathing.  ❞
❝  i didn’t know what i was doing, not at any conscious level. but one step seemed to lead to another, then the next, and then the next.  ❞
❝  it’s called a butcher’s shop in some places, but a mortuary in others. as much as i’d love to imply there was some sweeney todd style recycling going on here, i think the place has just been a lot of things over the years.  ❞
❝  god, these things are creepy as hell.  ❞
❝  if you wouldn’t mind, please, tell us what happened? in your own time, of course.  ❞
❝  it took a few long, nerve-wracking days to work up my courage and visit the section again.  ❞
❝  it’s not that odd to think that people ate each other out there.  ❞
❝  i didn’t think there was a ghost in my room or anything like that, i just kept hearing noises whenever i was about to fall asleep.  ❞
❝  i downed half a dozen energy drinks at 6 and called it dinner—i know, i know, it’s a nasty habit i picked up in grad school.  ❞
❝  they told me that the cpu and motherboard had somehow been melted into a solid lump of plastic and silicon.  ❞
❝  i mean, [name] was a pain in the ass, but at least he didn’t…  ❞
❝  my schedule was full, but i had something else fall through at the last minute. i had your number on my desk, so i thought i may as well call.  ❞
❝  i wonder if it was afraid, or if it even realized what was going to happen. it probably didn’t.  ❞
❝  i need to get more coffee. or punch someone. whichever’s more convenient.  ❞
❝  god, if that’s really how i sound…  ❞
❝  people think i write horror, but i don’t really think that’s true. i just write fiction with all of the comfortable little lies taken out of it.  ❞
❝  i have loved the stars too truly to be fearful of the night.  ❞
❝  i think he felt something about this place… some influence or power that needed to be destroyed, so he tried to do it the only way he knew how.  ❞
❝  well, it’s a tricky thing. the more realistic you make them, the more… unreal they start to look. i think it’s something about the eyes.  ❞
❝  i offered to stay late, just to smooth things over.  ❞
❝  maybe i can get some writing done while i’m stuck here…  ❞
❝  no child could grow up in a jewish home surrounded by books and not read at least one story about golems.  ❞
❝  i just wasn’t a good student, despite my love of reading.  ❞
❝  i have to say, i like your jane doe.  ❞
❝  she was a scientist herself.  maybe not formally, but her way of thinking, her insight, her methods... they were scientist’s qualities.  ❞
❝  seriously, what do i need to do to get a little privacy around here, a little dignity?  hang a  ‘ do not disturb ’  sign on the door?  change all my locks?  ❞
❝  maybe it was stupid, but i figured, ‘ hey, early december, not a cloud in the sky—should still be fine, right? ’  ❞
❝  jesus, [name], i wasn’t born yesterday.  ❞
❝  maybe doing this while it’s still dark outside isn’t the best idea.  ❞
❝  more than a century and a half have passed, and this place is still just as dangerous as it was then.  ❞
❝  now, [mr./ms./mx. name], i’m sure you know why you’re here.  ❞
❝  the [event] was a bust—only about a dozen people showed up all afternoon.  ❞
❝  i never put much stock in the idea of inspiration, but for the first time in my life, it felt like i wasn’t pushing myself through the muck of miscalculation and guesswork towards a solution. i was being pulled towards an answer that already existed.  ❞
❝  it felt like i was a few steps from finding out something fundamental. some truth about our universe that no other scientist had ever dared to dream of.  ❞
❝  huh. that’s… that’s weird. i could’ve sworn there wasn’t a sculpture back there before.  ❞
❝  apparently, no one had told them what i was doing, and i wasn’t actually cleared to leave.  ❞
❝  maybe he’s trying to make amends. keeping watch over these half-living things to make sure no harm comes to them.  ❞
❝  i expected the building to be wreathed in shadow and overgrown with cobwebs, but it's actually really nice.  ❞
❝  sorry, i was trying to get my recorder working, but it froze up on me so i had to find a tape for this old…  ❞
❝  okay. just… don’t get me sacked, alright?  can’t exactly retire on this salary.  ❞
❝  but if it was real—i don’t know if i somehow created it, or if it was feeding me information about itself before it appeared.  ❞
❝  i’ve never had a manic episode before, and i was well below the level of caffeine needed to cause intoxication. as far as i can tell, there isn’t a medical explanation for what happened.  ❞
❝  i don’t get the appeal of meeting real celebrities. it’s just a cheap shock of recognition, and nothing more.  ❞
❝  whatever this… thing was, it sounds pretty dangerous.  ❞
❝  are you familiar with temporal asymmetry?  ❞
❝  i just want to make that abundantly clear:  this /wasn’t/ the plan.  ❞
❝  right then, now let’s get started. please state your name and rank for the record.  ❞
❝  though my soul may set in darkness, it will rise in perfect light.  ❞
❝  a cracker of a book, young lady.  ❞
❝  no wonder they’re keeping them in storage. they’d give anyone nightmares.  ❞
❝  i was just going to finish out my shift unless… you want me to stick around?  ❞
❝  i went to the university, but don’t remember much of the years i spent there.  ❞
❝  having to study textbooks and essays day in and day out took all of the joy out of reading for a long time.  ❞
❝  we call paradoxes paradoxes for a reason:  no matter how plausible they seem, they can never really happen.  ❞
❝  i don’t know what happened to me that night. i still don’t even know if what i saw was real.  ❞
❝  when we look into the void for too long, we find the monsters instead.  ❞
150 notes · View notes
tanakavox · 3 years ago
Text
here guys. This reaction was done @bssaz97 again. And that's it for the author's note.
"I miss baby Zwei!" Weiss sulked.
"We know Weiss, you've been saying that for the past ten minutes," Blake's vein appeared on her head.
"Why can't we see more of him! He was so cute and innocent!" Weiss crosses her arms and huffs..
"He spent the entire time antagonizing me!" Jaune replied.
"He can never do wrong." Weiss cemented in her mind.
"Forget it VB, she's a lost cause." Yang told her fellow blonde.
"Well let's see what this next viewing has in store for us all." Ren calmly stated.
The screen shows Jaune on Planet Namek facepalming.
"Urgh, what was that idiot DOING bringing me here!" He mutters before turning to look around his eyes widening. "It's... Wait a minute, I can feel it... This is my home! I can finally see its beauty! The lush blue fields, the crystal clear waters, the wind brushing past my... GOD, THIS IS BORING!" He yelled out before groaning. "No wonder I feel at home."
"We're back to Namek!" Ruby shouted in excitement.
"And there's alien Jaune-Jaune!" Nora jumped in.
"Wait isn't this the world where Cinder is supposed to be really powerful?" Jaune asked.
"...oh crud/shit." Many of the original audience replied. Those who were new to the theater didn't exactly understand what they meant but supposed they would eventually see why.
The scene cuts to Cinder confronting Mercury, Oscar, Neptune, and Trifa
"Oh hell yeah! Emerald wake up, we're back in the world where I'm a badass prince!" Mercury says as he shakes her shoulder.
Emerald loudly snores.
"Hey! You said to wake you when 'the snooze fest' was over."
"Not… interested." Emerald conveniently snored.
"Emerald, you will watch this viewing." Cinder orders.
"Yes Cinder!" Emerald miraculously much more awake.
"Wooow." Mercury drawls, shaking his head in genuine disappointment.
"Shut it!" Emerald hissed.
Cinder smiles coldly at them. "Well, Mercury. You've finally pulled it off. You've managed to dash my hopes entirely. With some help, I see." she turns to look at the rest of the group.
"Quack!"
"Neptune, seriously, not helping!" Oscar said ebowing him.
"I can try."
"I'm very curious. Where exactly are you from?" Cinder asks calmly.
"Don't you snitch!" Nora shouted at the screen.
"We're from rem-" Neptune started before Oscar stopped him.
"Neptune, no!"
"Oh right... Thanks for stopping me, Oscar. 'Cause I can't shut-."
"They're from Remnant." Trifa deadpanned.
"Traitor!" Ruby glared at the girl on the screen. Her anger was shared by many in the audience. Whether good or bad.
Blake was feeling the same amount of betrayal twice after remembering how Trifa was one of Ada-his agents sent to kidnap her in the past.
" Little bow girl, why?!" Neptune shouted out in disbelief.
"Because my name is Trifa."
Nora huffed, "Well maybe your name should little bi-!"
"Nora please." Ren asked his oldest friend and companion to let it go.
"'Sigh.' Fine, but I'm still mad." Nora said.
"Oh good. I'll stop by there on the way home. Pick up some space eggs, some space milk, and BLOW IT THE F**K UP!" Cinder screamed at them before calming here. "Oh, I'm sorry. I'm usually far more composed. I'm just a little bit ABSOLUTELY LIVID." She said with barely contained rage.
"Oh, Cinder. Quit being such a bitch. I lost my chance at immortality too and you don't see me crying about it." Mercury said mocking with a smirk.
"Yep. Sucks to suck!" Yang stayed for both Cinder's in the audience and on screen.
"Care to say that to my face." Cinder stood up.
"Whoa now One Eye Cinder. We can't fight here, remember, so I can say whatever I like and there's nothing you can do to stop me." Yang explains with a toothy grin.
Cinder growls, but reluctantly sat back down as she began to curse this theater's damned rules.
"Yes, Mercury. But you see, the difference between us is I'll live long enough to regret it." Cinder charges at Mercury and engages him in battle with a battle cry.
Scene cuts to Jaune flying through the sky
"Hey we were getting to the good part!" Mercury shouted.
"And what part would that exactly be Mercury?" Cinder asked directly.
"The fight scene, what else." He said nonchalantly.
Cinder stared at him for a moment before looking back at the screen. Mercury was one of the few people that she could tolerate back talking to her so she paid it no mind.
"Everything looks the goddamn same on this goddamn planet!" He thinks and sighs before he sees something on the ground. "Wait a minute, a body! SOCIAL ACTIVITY!" Jaune yells as he yells flying down and landing next to a body, which was Hazel. "Please tell me you're not dead!"
Hazel begins to speaks in Namekian/Klingon
"What the hell is he saying?" Coco asked.
"It appears he is attempting to communicate with Mr. Arc's alternate in their native tongue." Ozpin rationalized.
"Do you know what he's saying Jaune?" Velvet asked.
"Velvet, I think Ozpin means-."
Velvet giggles before she starts laughing. Her team along with his shortly after.
Jaune was staring at them confusedly before his eyes widened in realization. He chuckled while rolling his eyes, "Oh haha, very funny Velvet."
Ruby just stared at the exchange expressionless, the joke was funny but for some reason she didn't want to laugh. Weird.
"Ah, crap. I find the only living thing for miles- and he's so broken he can't even talk right."
" I was speaking Namekian, you idiot. Don't you know anything about your own people?" Hazel gasps out, barely holding on to life.
"Well, we're demons, right?" Jaune asks hopefully.
"Eh, more like slug people."
"Ah, dammit! I liked it better when I was a demon."
"And I liked it better when I had proper bladder control. Nobody's perfect."
"Yeah, I've been meaning to ask about that. What happened?"
"Let's just say our world elder's kind of a giant green asshole."
Jaune and many of the other male audience members bowed their heads in silence for loss bestowed on the Namekian people.
"Yeesh! Port's a bit of a dick in this one… or lack thereof," Yang quipped.
"YANG!"
"Too soon?" Yang winced.
"Preachin' to the choir on that one." Jaune agreed, an image of Ozpin showing in his head. "Well, it's been fun, but I have to go DIE again…" He turns to leave.
Jaune mentally groaned as he remembered that in this world his life was the one entwined with Ozpin. Also he no more thrilled about the prospect of seeing his alternate die (again?) in a way that could've been easily avoided.
"Dang Arc, you're a bit sassy in this world, huh?" Coco asked.
"And green with antennas." Velvet whispered to Fox.
"Ahhh," Fox nodded, getting a clue of what the counterpart looked like.
"Wait. I might be able to help you." gasped out Hazel.
"Look, buddy. If you want to add me on MySpace, I switched to Spacebook a while ago." Jaune turns to left again.
"What's MySpace?" Oscar asked.
"Beats me, but it sounds mega old." Yang commented.
Ozpin, Glynda, Qrow and even Winter winced at Yang's unintentional jab at them. All of them who used to own MySpace accounts.
Salem just looked confused at the mention of these names. 'What's a MySpace and Spacebook? Is it a form of communication?' She thought to herself.
"No, no, no, no. Listen. I think I know something that might work out for both of us. I don't wanna die and you seem pretty lonely."
"DESPERA-, I mean, go on."Jaune said, getting yells before switching back to a normal tone.
"There's a special ability our people share. Forbidden, even amongst our most sacred clans."
"And we're just going to abuse it?" Jaune asked
"Oh, maliciously!" Hazel said with a grin.
"Bitchin'! How we do?"
"Well that didn't take much convincing at all." Emerald said, impressed by how quickly it took the dying Hazel to convince Arc to comment on what was probably the Namekians form of the Black Arts.
"Hey Jaune-Jaune needs all the power he can get if he wants to kick Cinder's butt!" Nora shot back. "Yeah!" Ruby echoed Nora's sentiment.
"Well, first you put your hand upon me."
" 'Kay" He places his hand on Hazel's elbow)
"Yes. Like that. Now lower."
"Uh-huh."
"Lower."
"Hmm…"
"Little lower."
"Hmm..".
"Ah! If we had junk, you'd be gay right now." Jaune groans as Hazel smirks at him. "Fusing!"
"Gods Dammit!" Jaune facepalmed. He couldn't believe how his alternate would fall for such an obvious trick…. though to be honest he probably would have fallen for it all the same.
Jaune fuses with Hazel, a bright light blinding the viewers. After it's disappears, Jaune only is there and he looks at his hands in wonder.
"Wow. Unreal. My gosh. This is amazing! I feel INCREDIBLE!" He then begins to chant Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! I can win! I feel great! I-can-do-this! HAAA…"
Hazel's voice from inside is heard inside Jaune's head. "What are you doing?" He asked.
"Nothing." Jaune replies after stammering a bit.
"Really? 'Cause it looked like you were chanting to yourself."
"Are you in my head?" Jaune ask changing the subject.
"Yup. Don't worry; supposedly I should fade away into your subconscious. Sooner or later."
"Is this what it was like for you?" Jaune asked Oscar.
"Pretty much." Oscar deadpanned
"...Wow, that's really weird." Jaune slumped in his chair.
"Yep. Well, you kinda get used to it after a while." Oscar replied.
"Does it?" Jaune asked him seriously.
"...No." Oscar slumped into his chair as well.
'If I could have carried this burden in my original body for all these millennia and spared you, I would have… no one deserves this burden.' Ozpin told himself in his mind. He determined it would fix nothing if he told them that, there was no changing the past.
"Okay. So, what now?"
"By my estimate, this fusion should have given you just enough power to wipe out the bitch who killed our people."
"And?"
"Well, let me put this in terms you'll understand: You can win! You feel great! You-can-do-this!" Hazel said, repeating Jaune's chant.
"Oh, ha-ha!"
"Yeah go Jaune/Fearless Leader!" Ruby and Nora both cheered.
Jaune's face turned beet red, but he did appreciate their show of support.
The scene cuts to Mercury and Cinder in a brawler lock
"Impudent... little…" Cinder hissed. Her scouter shows "F**K THIS I'M OUT" before exploding on her face, Cinder grunting in pain.
"Damn, Mercury must actually be pretty strong to make that device off itself," Yang stated.
"Why do you sound so surprised blondie? Still sore about our match up?" Mercury quipped.
"You are so lucky I can't mop the floor with your face." Yang shot back, her eyes flashing crimson.
Mercury and Cinder both back off, producing a small crater due to their power.
"I'm impressed, Mercury. When did you graduate from pull-ups?" Cinder said mocking.
"About the same time you got off the rag." Mercury fired back.
Cinder smirks a bit. "Cute. But bear no false hopes, Mercury. You're a mere paper tiger in front of a storm. You have no idea what true power I possess."
"It's that you can transform, right?"
"I can transform…" Cinder's face's falls. "Okay, when and how?"
"Guldo told me."
A flashback of a conversation between Mercury and Guldo appears
"So... Did you know that Cinder can transform?" Guldo said.
"Huh. That right?" Mercury said disinterested.
"Yeah. And Burter's gay."
"Really!?" Mercury asked, genuinely surprised
(back to present)
"And then I threw a dog treat at him. True story."
"That's so rude!" said the collective voices of Ruby, Weiss, Velvet, and Fiona.
"Oh cry me a river, I lost my conscience long ago." Mercury replied back.
"Right. But if you are so aware, why do you persist in goading me?" Cinder question raising an eyebrow.
Mercury grinned viciously."Because Cinder. You're not dealing with the average Saiyan warrior anymore. I am a Super Saiyan!"
….
"A what?" Oscar asked.
Cinder rolls her eyes at this apparently hearing this before. "Oh, here we go!"
"That's right, Cinder. I've arisen beyond the limits of a normal Saiyan, and into the realm of legend- the legend that you fear. The legend known throughout the entire universe as the most powerful warrior to ever exist!" Cinder starts speaking faintly at this point alongside him. "I, Prince Mercury, have become a..". Cinder cuts him off
"...Super Saiyan. Blah, blah, blah, blah, I get it. Then you slayed the Jabberwocky and went on to save Narnia." She clearly wasn't taking him seriously.
"Wow! This Super Saiyan sounds awesome!" Yang concluded. Her sister as well as Jaune, Nora, Oscar and Ren. What? He could like things.
"Thanks for the praise Blondie." Mercury said.
"Yeah something tells me your alternate is way too overestimating himself." Emerald stated.
"You're just jealous you're not a Super Saiyan." Mercury shot back, unfazed by her earlier remark. Causing Emerald to roll her eyes.
While the name seemed silly to the more mature members of the audience, they too were intrigued by the tale of this being.
"Go ahead and mock me, Cinder, but I'm not afraid of you. So why don't you doll yourself up and get ready for a night on the town, because I'm about to take you to a ballroom blitz."
"Fine. I'll indulge you, Mr. Super Saiyan. But before I do I have a funny little story I'd like to tell you."
"Funny how?"
"I like to call it, "I killed your dad"."
"...Was that supposed to shock me?" Mercury questioned.
Mercury stares at Cinder blankly. "So "ha-ha" funny."
"You see, thanks to a rogue lower-class warrior, your father caught wind of my plans…"
(flashback to planet Mercury)
A saiyan runs up to What seemed to be Marcus Black
"King Mercury, I have urgent news!"
"Speak, Butarega." King Marcus/Mercury said in a booming tone.
'Wait why does the old bastard have my name? Eh, guess it doesn't matter. Wait, does that make me a junior?!' Mercury thought.
"Well well, looks like I should call you Junior now. Huh?" Emerald comments, her smirk showing she greatly appreciated this new knowledge.
"I'm not a junior!" Mercury yelled.
"What's that? Couldn't hear you Junior!" Yang joins in on the teasing.
"I'm gonna get back at you both. Just you wait." Mercury growled. Hating how the tables have turned on him.
"Bardock has gone absolutely mad, sire!"
Off-screen someone screamed out: "Cinderrrr!"
"What's all the commotion about?" King Marcus/Mercury asked.
"He's been telling everyone that Cinder plans to destroy Mercury!"
"Wait, my son, the planet, or me?"
BUTAREGA looks at the king for a few moments before answering " ...Yes."
King Marcus/Mercury blasts Butarega away.
"Oh my gods!" Ruby cried out.
She and many others in the audience were shocked that the Saiyan King just killed his subordinate so callously. However, both Salem and Cinder were impressed at the King's show of force.
"Freakin' smartass." King Marcus/Mercury mutters and goes look a the Counselor. "Counselor Obleck, what do you think?"
"Let me tell you what you need to do. You need to sit him down…" Oobleck began.
"Uh-huh." King Marcus/Mercury said nodding his head.
"...you look her dead in the eye…"
"Yes."
" ...and you say, "Don't blow up my planet.""
"What? He can't be serious." Winter remarked.
"It appears that this version of Bart is not as wise or tactful as he is in our world." Ozpin rationalized.
Teams RWBY and JNR pressed 'X' to doubt.
"And you think that will work?" King Marcus/Mercury asked.
"she'd have to be aaaaaaawfully evil if it didn't. And I'm not gonna lie, I like the cut of her jib." Oobleck said with a grin.
"All right, but I want you to take my son, the Prince, off-planet just in case things go south."
"Don't worry, sir. You'll do juuuuuust fine."
"Wait. Hold on a damn minute, the old bastard actually cares about someone other than himself? Yeah like that's legit." Mercury crosses his arms.
Some in the audience looked at the silver haired assassin and just for a moment, they felt sympathy for him.
shifts to King Mercury approaching Cinder,.
"Cinder, can I sit down and have a word with-" King Marcus/Mercury said before Cinder interpreted him.
"SHORYUKEN!" Cinder yelled out, uppercutting King Marcus/Mercury in the jaw, causing the latter to fall back while producing with an echoing scream.
"K.O.! YOU WIN!" A voice yelled out.
"Yatta." Cinder whisper out looking at the king's dead body with grin
"Seems negotiations didn't go as he was expecting." Cinder floated to herself. What she didn't notice was that Mercury had stared at her after that statement was said.
He wasn't sure why but hearing her gloat about killing his dad made him feel… odd. It's probably the popcorn he was eating. Nothing more.
(back to present)
"And then I blew the planet up. The end."
Mercury stares at Cinder confused. "How did you know about the parts you weren't there for?"
Cinder gives a blank stare at Mercury and then proceeds to transform.
"Wow, nice comeback Cinder. Really showed him." Jaune said.
Cinder chose to ignore the blonde fool, she didn't dare waste the energy to acknowledge him.
"Nep, do you feel that?" Oscar asked with a fearful look as Cinder's power grew as her body.
"I taste that!" Neptune screamed a look as fear on his face as well.
Cinder finishes transforming into his second form, a Bigger bulkier form.
"Whoa! She's huge! Like that Hazel guy from Haven!" Nora shouted.
"She sure is..." Emerald didn't know how to feel about this new form of Cinder's. It looked too bulky and tall.
"She kinda looks like a bull with those horns." Ruby noted.
"All done." Cinder smiles a bit looking at all of them satisfied. "And judging by the expression on your face, so are you."
"What...? How?" The usual cockiness in his voice was gone.
"Let's be practical and put a number to that feeling, shall we? Last time I clocked this form it was at... one million." Cinder's smile only grows widener.
The audience didn't know what she meant by that but they determined that it must've meant that she was terrifyingly strong.
Cinder loved it, if only she could feel what that power was like. She might even get drunk from it.
"You're lying!"
"Am I? Am I really?" Cinder sarcastically said, raises her hand and explodes the island that everyone is currently standing on, making an explosion so big that it can be seen from the planet. Cinder is shown standing on what's left of the island.
"Whoa!" Fiona and CVY cried out. This being their first time seeing a destructive force of this magnitude. Whitley also sweat dropped, while he had been pleased with how powerful he was in one of the previous worlds. This was an entirely different kind of power than he thought was ever possible.
"Not impressed!" Mercury yelled off screen. "I can do that, too!"
"Neptune, are you okay?" Oscar asks flying above the destroyed island.
"Yeah, and I've got a Little bow girl right here!" Neptune replied with a grin holding Trifa closely.
Cinder begans sings to. " Peaceful young races with fires on their houses
Millions of voices all silenced like mouses
Watching the cowards bow toward their new king
These are a few of my favorite things "
"Oh great she's singing now, as if this Cinder wasn't terrifying enough." Oscar said while clinging to his seat in fear.
"Is it just me, or is she singing to herself?" Neptune asks but is cut off by Cinder charging at him and impaling him with one of her horns, causing Neptune to drop Trifa.
(Neptune Owned Count: 15)
Neptune screams in pain.
"Oh no!" Ruby cried out. But immediately was off put by the showed counter on the screen.
Some in the audience giggled at the sight of the counter, even if they knew it was wrong.
"Neptune!" Oscar screamed out.
"Well, he's dead." Mercury deadpanned in his head.
"This is... the worst... pai-i-i-in!" Neptune said through gritted his teeth.
"Really? Sure it isn't this?" She looks up and starts shifting her head up and down." Or this? Or this? Or this? Or this? (Neptune Owned Count: 16-21, with two 1Ups coming up in the last two ones)
"Neptune, stop! You're making him stronger!" Oscar pleaded.
"I-can't-help-it!" Neptune screamed.
(Neptune Owned Count: 22-25)
At this point most of the audience were laughing. It was a horribly dark joke, but the presentation was spot on and too hilarious. The huntsmen and huntresses that knew the blue haired boy felt very guilty, but they couldn't stop laughing.
"One down!" Cinder throws Neptune off her horn and towards the lake. "Ah, I think impalement is my favorite way to kill a person."
Oscar begans to shake with rage. "You condescending... sadistic... callous... MOTHERF**KER!"
"Pardon?" Cinder ask with a raised eyebrow but then Oscar attacks Cinder by kicking and punching her in the face before knocking her upward with an uppercut and finally kicks her towards the ground. Oscar then starts charging up an energy blast.
"WHOO! Go Cute Boy Oscar! Woo-woo-woo!" Nora cheered on her newest teammate. His other friends joined in cheering for Oscar's alternate.
Oscar was deeply embarrassed but also very ecstatic that he was able to keep up with the frightening tyrant.
"Oscar SMASH EFFEMINATE ALIEN! Oscar STRONGEST THERE IS!" Oscar thought to himself.
Oscar launches a ki blast directly at Cinder, causing a massive explosion. Oscar is then seen in midair catching his breath. Cinder is seen lying face down on the ground, covered in sand from Oscar's assault.
"Ten points for team ALPN!" Nora cheered.
"Yeah, how's that feel, Cinder?" Mercury yelled out. "Now if you can, why don't you pick your sorry ass up and take on a REAL Saiyan…" Mercury's voice trails off as Cinder is seen getting up with a annoyed look.
"Huh. That happened." She muttered before turning to Mercury. "Mercury, mind sitting right there for just a moment, I need to go play babysitter."
"Oh crap, abort Oscar! Abort!" Jaune called out.
"Think! What would Dad do in this situation?" Oscar began to think to himself in a panic.
A flashback of Sun wearing a backpack showed up.
"Bye, son!" Sun said in the flashback in a big dopey smile.
"Damn it Sun." Blake facepalmed.
"Wow, my other self has some issues." Oscar realizes.
(back to present)
"I'm beginning to think I have issues…" Oscar thought to himself when he got punched by Cinder and hit the ground. He tries to get up, but gets crushed by Cinder's foot.
Cinder turns to grin at the Silver haired man. "So, Mercury. Does this get you angry?"
"It's getting ME angry!" Nora shouts at the screen. Her team, RWBY, Qrow, Ozpin and Winter show the same hostility towards the Cinder in the screen.
Mercury shrugs. "Not really. Kind of a smartass."
Cinder frowns "Well then, why am I even bothering?"
"Because you get off on it?" Mercury said hetaintly.
Cinder grins viciously. "Oh, unbelievably... Huh?" Cinder moves to dodges a disc but her tail gets cut off. She turns to glare at culprit.
"Alright, who has the balls?!" She screams out.
Camera zooms on to Neptune, who is the one responsible for cutting off Cinder's tail. Neptune then turns around and starts repeatedly spanking his butt.
"Kiss my ass, bitch! I'm immortal!"
Cinder growls angrily and flies after Neptune.
"Whoa! Neptune's back up already? I thought he was out for the count!" Yang confused. Happy that he lived but still confused as to how he was back in good shape.
Neptune imitates Curly's whooping sounds while flying away and screams: "Suuuck myy diiii…"
The shifts to Mercury thinking to himself. "How the hell did he get up? Oh, my God, I swear if he used that wish of immortality on himself, I am going to murd... " He stops himself and opens his mouth in shock. And speaks out loud after a short pause. "That... bastard."
"Hahaha-ha-ha! You can't kill an immortal!" Emerald laughed.
"Why are you laughing? Weren't you cheering for Cinder?" Mercury implies.
"I am but I'm also cheering against you." Emerald explains.
"You're despicable, you know that right?" Mercury deadpanned.
The scene shifts to Trifa healing Oscar "Come on... You can't leave me alone here; you're the only one I can talk to!" She mutters to herself.
Oscar eyes open, regaining consciousness."I... you... healed me."
"You are the only one I respect."
"Then why did you heal Neptune?"
"The better question is: why did I tell him he was immortal?"
"Ok where is this girl in real life, I'm starting to like her style." Emerald comments.
"I'm starting to not like this Bow Girl." Weiss concludes.
"Yeah that was kinda mean." Ruby adds.
"But it did give him a helluva confidence boost." Yang points out.
The audience reluctantly agrees with Yang.
Neptune flies back to the battlefield with a huge grin. "Holy crap! Thank God I'm immortal!"
"Actually, I healed you, you idiot!" Trifa said off-screen.
"Wait, so I could have died back there?" Neptune realized with his eyes widing.
"After all that you're just going to tear him down like that!" Weiss shouted.
"Yeah, and unlike the runt and I, you don't get a power boost from it." Mercury replied.
"Hax! I call hax!" Neptune whined.
The audience agreed with Screen Neptune.
"How did you escape?" Oscar asked.
"Oh, it was awesome!" See, She was gaining on me there for a minute, but then I managed to lose her in some crevices, but she kept cutting me off at every pass."
"She didn't just blow it up?" Mercury pointed out?"
"Thought the same thing, but no! So I thought fast and I used the Solar Flare on her!"
"And then you used your Kienzan to cut her in half?" Oscar asked gleefully
"Um…"
Cinder flies back to the battlefield, angrily and screams at them. "I WILL MOUNT YOUR HEAD WHERE MY TAIL USED TO BE!"
"To answer your question, Oscar. No, I did not do that." Neptune muttered.
"Damn seriously? He could have finished her off so easily, it was literally in his grasp." Coco shakes her head.
"Douse this bitch!" Mercury yelled.
Mercury, Oscar, and Neptune fire a barrage of energy blasts at Cinder, covering her in smoke.
"Did we get her?" Neptune asked
"Neptune, we can feel her energy. Why do you bother asking?" Oscar asked back annoyed.
"I'm an optimist."
"You're an idiot." Mercury said, glaring at him.
"You're both wrong. You're dead." Cinder said as the smoke cleared and is shown to be unfazed by the blasts.
"You know what? I'm sick of this." Oscar said, his face hardening. "If I'm gonna die, then I'm gonna go out the same way Jaune would!" He moves in to attack Cinder head-on.
"Oscar, no!" Neptune goes to fly after Oscar.
"No! What are you doing?! Don't go out like my other self!" Jaune shouted clutching his head.
RWBY, ALPN, and Ozpin were clouded in worry.
" No, goddamn it!" Mercury also flies after Oscar when a new figure surrounded by light appears in front of the trio. The light clears, and the figure is revealed to be Jaune.
"M... Mr. Jaune!" Oscar cried out.
"Yes! Fearless Leader is here for the rescue!" Nora cheered.
The Jaune in the audience let out a sigh of relief.
"Well, well, well! I'm legitimately surprised I missed one of you." Cinder smiles a bit. "But that's just fine because I've been working on some jokes. Now tell me if you've heard this one: How many Namekians does it take to-" She gets sent flying by a punch from Jaune.
"Just one." Jaune said stoically.
"GO JAUNE GO!" Ruby screamed.
Most of the audience looked towards her from her outburst, including Jaune who was staring wide eyed at her.
"Er, you know. Smash Tyrant Cinder's no good face." She attempts to save face, throwing out air punches to diffuse the situation.
"...Yeah!" Nora shouted.
35 notes · View notes
secndlife · 4 years ago
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pairing: jeonghan x reader
genre: fluff, angst? second life!au
summary: when something as big as a proposal happens, you start to wonder about the what ifs of a different life. 
word count: 2.9k
warnings: none
song
“I’ll be back later, ok?” You said, voice soft as you placed gentle kisses by the sides of his neck. He felt good, skin smoother than the finest piece of silk against your lips. You’ve been together for years now and you knew you’d never get over how sweet he tasted. It was like honey. Better, even. He was like the most addictive of drugs. Your arms were wrapped around his waist while he focused on the screen in front of him, comfortably sitting by the kitchen stool.
He hummed at your gesture, goosebumps hitting his arms like a soft breeze. “Hmkay.” His hand went to the shiny, brand-new object placed at your finger, digits tracing its’ outline slowly before he intertwined your hands. “Off to tell him the news?” He felt you smiling against him.
“Yeah,” you mumbled against his neck, lips still pressed against the veins that he had there. “This is too big of a thing to tell him through the phone.” Your now fiancé nodded in agreement. You held him a bit tighter against your grip, chin now resting on his shoulder and eyes stuck at your hands. It was crazy how something as small and delicate as a ring could carry so much meaning, could feel so heavy. Not the bad heavy, though. Just a different one that you weren’t used to it yet. The one that makes your head spin and your heart beat faster. 
He caught you staring at the diamond and his mind went to places he didn’t want to allow. As always, his tongue moved faster, the question he’s been dying to ask ever since he proposed last night rolled out of his lips before he could stop it. “Are you happy?” It was barely a whisper, though, like a secret that he was keeping inside for longer than it seemed. He knew, with the bit of rationality he had inside himself, that you were happy. For you, there was no such thing as hiding your feelings, your heart always being bravely worn on your sleeve. And he would never forget the spark in your eyes when he opened the small box and got down on one knee. At darker times, however, he was still that insecure college boy that asked you out years ago. He just needed the validation. 
You first thought was to gently smack his chest and tell him to stop being silly. That this question was out of place and ask him why this lunatic, unreal thought had the nerve to materialize itself into words. But after knowing him so well, you figured that this wasn’t the best approach. Like you had a roadmap to his manners, you could take the hidden hint in his tone that he tried his best to disguise. So you just held him closer, allowing your body to engulf him with love in the form of a hug. “Yes. I’m the happiest I’ve ever been.” 
He let out a breath in relief, pressing your arms against his chest as a form of response to all the uncertainty that danced in his mind like ballerinas in new flats. As if the warmness of your skin could fight, almost instantaneously, the coldness that started to form around his heart. “Good.” He brought your hand to his lip now, placing a comfortable kiss against the ring, lips barely brushing at your knuckles. “I love you.”
You’ve been hearing the melodic way he said those three words for a long time now, your paths being laced together for longer than you could count on one hand. Still, every time he said it, it was like the first time you had ever heard it. Like the world had stopped spinning just for you. Like stars were falling out of the sky to be placed in your hands as a gift. Like you were there, at that moment, just to live through the greatness of being loved in the way he loved you. “I love you too.” 
“Good,” he said, once again. With a tap by the back of your hand, he tried sending you away. “Ok, go. We both know how he gets when someone’s late.” He giggled. Your heart felt warm at the sound. 
“Wanna come?” You offered. They were friends too. You were sure the youngest wouldn’t mind. “You haven’t seen each other in a while.”
“Is that why you want me to go?” He teased. 
With a small laugh, you said, “yes.” You didn’t want to admit, but you’d kinda miss him. You wanted to be around him these days as much as you could. It started before the proposal. Seeing him confess his love once more, but this time with the twist of the promise of forever, under the star-filled summer sky, just made it all deeper. It was like this thirst for him would never end. Even a couple of minutes away seemed too long, too unbearable. It was like the air was being sucked out of your lungs. 
He hummed. “I can’t. I have to send some reports on the recordings to the company today, so I need to double-check everything.” You pouted. “Don’t make that face. You know I can’t resist it.”
You giggled, “Then don’t.”
“I think you need some time alone with him.” His tone was as calm as his heart.
You let out a whine and nodded, “Fine.” You squeezed his body closer to yours once more, trying to gather as much of him as you could for the time you’d spend out. 
“Tell him I miss him, though.”
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“Sorry I’m late,” you said between breaths, placing your bag by one of the empty chairs.
He looked up and raised a brow at you, his black hair that was now a bit too long falling over his gaze. He was wearing a simple white shirt and some denim pants. You were used to his presence, something impossible not to be as he was your friend for as long as you could remember. But you’d never get accustomed to how heavenly he looked. The way his lips curled up whenever he smiled could make flowers bloom in dry land. The way his eyes slightly, almost imperceptibly, changed colors whenever he stared at the sun for too long could make anyone want to dive in the dark mysteries hidden behind them.  
“I should be used to this by now,” he said, with a teasing tone. “I don’t know why I still show up on time to any of our gatherings.”
You placed a loud, wet kiss by his rosy cheek before biting back at his comment. “Because you love to complain when I’m late.” You sat across from him and smiled. 
He giggled. “That does give me a reason to live.”
You shook your head, taking the menu from the center of the table. “You’re insufferable,” you scoffed. It felt relieving to be around him like this. Too good. Too comfortable. It was almost as if there were no pressure to be anything other than you with him. Freeing - that’s what it felt like to be around him. Your heart ached as if you haven’t seen him in forever. It hadn’t been that long though, but for sure both of your work schedules were clashing way too often for your liking these days. 
“And despite that, you still love me.” He took the menu as well, scanning among the sea of options. He was never good at making choices. Too many options for something as simple as a brunch made him tired. 
With eyes glued to the yellowish page before them, you said sincerely, a gentle smile resting against your lips., “I really do, don’t I?” You were a firmer believer that love had many faces and forms and fronts. You couldn’t quite describe the one you had for him. You just knew it was stronger than time. And stronger than life too. You knew, deep down, that this wasn’t your first encounter. The two of you had talked about it before in one drunken night at college. Or more like you talked and he listened. You said that life was magical and alluring to put the two of you together again in this lifetime. He didn’t question. He wouldn’t. He knew it too. In his head, he liked to think he’d always gravitate towards you, one way or another. This thought never really went away. It wouldn’t. 
He smiled at your words while trying to figure out what to order. He’d probably just have whatever you were having. That’s how it usually worked whenever you two went out for food. You’d lead, he’d follow. “What are we drinking?”
After thinking for a couple of seconds, you spoke up. “Maybe we could have mimosas? Or just plain champagne?” 
He looked up, “Really? Why do you want to drink fucking champagne?” You never drank that. Maybe five times in the course of 15 years, only on very special occasions like college graduation or getting dumped by your second boyfriend. You were a beer type of girl. Or mojito, if you were in a party mood. He tilted his head in amusement and confusion, “What happened?”
You placed your hands on your lap, not ready to let the ring show just yet. He was very observant, so maybe he had noticed it already and was just giving you the time to tell him yourself. Maybe it’d be good to have a drink first. Get some alcohol to pump the blood. You weren’t nervous. You knew he’d be thrilled with the news. You just needed to feel prepared. You’d change the topic for now. “How is she?” 
He shook his head while calling the waiter and ordering two glasses of champagne. “Why are you changing the subject?” He inquired after placing the order. 
“I’ll tell you in a bit,” you pleaded. Your fingers were still resting against your thighs. “Now answer, how is Sowon?”
He laughed once more. You loved his laugh. “She’s fine. She asked about you today.” Your lips curved up in a smile. “She’s busy. But she’s good, yeah.” You nodded. “How is he?”
“He misses you,” you said, voice delicate over the background noise. It was his turn to nod. “But he’s good too.”
“I’ll call him later.” He meant it. You knew he would. He was not the one to be distant. And he wasn’t. Before he could say something else, the waiter returned with the bubbly glasses and placed them ahead of the both of you. You thanked him and were left in nothing but the pleasant company of your best friend once more. “So?”
You decided to play along a bit more just to annoy him. “What?” He hated that. 
He rolled his eyes. “You’re really not telling me why we’re having champagne on a random Saturday mid summer?”
You took the clear, fancy glass in your left hand and took a long sip. Ok, ready. You let out a sigh and extended your right hand to him, the ring shining brighter under the natural night. He carefully looked at it, reaction not quite yet showing. “Wait.” His mouth was now shaped in a small ‘o’. He was putting the pieces together and his lips formed a magnificent smile. “Is this—”
“Yeah,” you said, voice a bit shaky. You were trying your best to hide the uneasiness running through your body. You knew he would approve, and that he would wish you nothing but the best. Still, he was such a meaningful person to you that the mere thought of him not being fond of such happening made you feel sick to your stomach. 
He was always good with words. He managed his way through them as a maestro leading an orchestra. Now, it felt like they were escaping him when he needed the most. He took your hand in his and squeezed it, hoping his gesture would say more than his poor brain was being able to voice it. “When did he propose?” There was no surprise in his question. He didn’t actually know, but it was somewhat expected, you guessed. 
You held his hand strong as if it was supposed to keep you in place, to keep you in peace. “Last night.”
He smiled widely again, “Are you happy?”
It was the second time you heard that question today. Only now, it had a totally different meaning. Earlier, you were asked “are you happy with me?”. Now, you were being asked if you’re happy, period. Simply, genuinely happy. That was all he would want for you. The answer was the same for both. “I’m the happiest I’ve ever been.” 
His grip in your hand got tighter, the ring almost hurting his milky skin. “Then I’m happy too.” You felt a stubborn, natural urge to cry as those words made their way to your ears. He knew you well enough to know you didn’t like showing that side of you in public, so he spoke again, “Shall we toast?”
You swallowed the tears along with whatever stupid insecurity you had over this moment. You took your glass from the table and raised it, followed by him. “To me finally getting married?”
He laughed, “No. To you being happy.” 
You nodded, heart full of the same love you had for him ever since your first meeting. 
After eating more than you should and sharing a bit too many drinks, you were still by the restaurant having one last round of mimosas. After a sip, you spoke. “Yesterday when I called my mom, and he was in the shower, she asked me something funny which I didn’t really know how to respond to.”
“You, not knowing what to respond? That’s new,” he teased. You always had a remark about everything and everyone. “What did she ask?”
“Why we never dated,” you stated simply. 
The thought of being more than a friend to him crossed your mind a couple of years back. He was a flirty person and the two of you had shared a kiss, and even more, here and there. Still, it was never something with a lot more meaning. Not as far as you knew or thought or felt. Of course, he was interesting, intelligent and impressive. He kept you on your toes and you loved him dearly. But you didn’t know exactly why this never evolved to something more than best friends. And it was not due to lack of outside incentive. Everyone thought you’d date him before you actually got a real, long term boyfriend, to whom you were now engaged and that was one of his close friends. Some still kept that thought, even after both of you were dating. People talked when your current relationship started. They thought he got bitter. They thought he got jealous. You never saw it and if he did feel like that, he never showed it. On the contrary, he was always very supportive. So you thought long and hard on your mother’s question, you just couldn’t come to any real answer. Maybe he, the one who always knows what to say and how to say it and when to say it, would be able to put some clarity to such secrecy.
After a couple of seconds of comfortable silence, he finally spoke. “Do you believe in fate?”
You laughed. Seems like the drinking was starting to get to you. Your cheeks were flushed and you felt funny inside. “I don’t know.” You started to think about it and shared your conclusion. “I believe everything happens as it should.”
Once he was done contemplating, he started explaining. “I love you, so so much.” There was no undisclosed meaning behind his words. He loved you and that was clear for everyone to see. “And I know you love me too.” Everyone knew that too. You had never, not even for a second, hidden that. But love was a shapeshifter. “Still, I don’t think I’m your fate in this life. Seungcheol is.”
You blinked, processing his words. Your mind started to inevitably wonder to the what ifs, to the what might have beens if you were engaged to the one sitting across from you right now. Those thoughts went away as quickly as they came, much like falling stars. Wasn’t that what all possibilities were? Falling scenarios. They seem bright and ideal, but only because you don’t actually have them to see how they’d really be. Or just because you don’t see them often or long enough. And then they vanish and leave a bittersweet taste behind. You wouldn’t dwell on that. You were happy and you wouldn’t waste time thinking on the falling star of this relationship. He wouldn’t want you to do that and you wouldn’t want to do that either. And it wasn’t even a fallen star to begin with. It was exactly how it was supposed to be. It was like home. Still, something lingered. So you asked. You had to know. “Do you think you’ll ever be my fate, Jeonghan?”
He smiled your favorite smile. The one that gave you chills and that made your heart at ease. With a voice as soft as his features, as gentle as his soul, four little, magic and promising words, that would be more than enough for this time being, escaped his lips. “Maybe in another life.” 
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a/n: this was supposed to be a piece of a collab with a very talented author, laura. unfortunately, the collab didn’t really happen, but i still wanted to share this piece after cross-checking with laura if she was ok with it. anyways. here’s to finally writing something for jeonghan that’s not absolutely hearbreaking. as always, thank you @yoongitalks​ for being my faithful beta. love you tons! feedback’s always, always appreciated, so feel free to drop some here. hope you’ll like it!
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khrystalsnow · 4 years ago
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ALL TIME FAVOURITE FICS
I wanted to make a list of my favourite fics (not sure if I’m missing any). There’s probably more that I would put here but they’re buried under my likes however, I may add more in the future. I hope you enjoy!
*PLEASE let me know if I did a mistake or put the wrong link!
LEGEND:
🥺Fluff
🤬Angst
😏Smut
😂Crack
FICS
Passion Fruit by @joonbird 🤬😏knj
-The very first fic that introduced me to tumblr fics (bts) which is just heaven sent. I remember reading this in awe because of the writing and the characters. Daddy namjoon showed oc a whole new world when he ate her out and I’m kind of jealous😔 I really love the plot and the character development for the oc and this was overall a good read!
Comfort Inn Ending by @joonbird  🤬😏jjk
-Another one of Amy’s work (top tier), that broke my heart into a million pieces. Honestly, I’ve read this series once, because of how good it is. Its sad, like I broke down a couple of times because of the two characters, kind of sad. That just shows you how amazing it is, that I can’t even reread it.
Hot Summer by @httphopewrld 🥺😏🤬 jjk
-I don’t know why but after I discovered this fic, I couldn’t stop thinking about this and the plot. Curtains are not really something we think about most at of the time but JK! Why couldn’t you just buy some curtains?! I mean I don’t blame the reader for peaking though. I’m really happy with the ending and how they talked it out like mature adults in the end.
Greedy by @xjoonchildx 🤬😏 myg
-A part of the Guarded Series which is just amazing! I picked Greedy because it’s currently ongoing and I really like yoongi’s perspective more than the other series. Yoongi’s a loner and people in his line of work, knows that. When he met oc, its like he finally found something that he can treasure on his own and completely different from the people around him. I just want them to be happy😭 I can’t wait for more chapters to come!
Hammer it Home by @gukslut 🥺😏🤬 knj
-I recently read this and fell in love with it really quickly! I’m pretty sure that everyone knows this fic and loves it just like me. I can’t really say anything more, except daddy joon is absolutely filthy, so read it.
Flower by @readyplayerhobi 🥺😏🤬 jhs
-God, this is such a good series. It deals with a lot of topics such as panic attack, body insecurity, anxiety, having children etc. (please look at the trigger warnings). We get to see the oc begin to date hoseok and see their relationship grow beautifully. Both of the characters are so different individually, but together, they look so beautiful:((
Boyfriend Material by @ladyartemesia 🥺😏😂 jjk
-The amount of times I’ve reread this is unreal. I want someone like jungkook in real lifee😭😭 I really love how its in bullet points to get the points across and easy to read. It also just seems so much more personal because it feels like we’re with them throughout the process of their relationship.
Of Fire and Love by @hollyhomburg 🥺😏🤬 myg
-When I first read part 1, I already fell in love with it. Dragon yoongi, namjoon and hoseok, sorcerer jin and jungkook, fairy jimin and human baby tae!!! I’ve reread this series multiple times and it just never gets old😌I love how everything connects and the smut is spicy✨
A Song Request by @n8dlesoupguk 🥺🤬 jjk
-THIS! IS! SO! CUTTTTTEE!!!! *PUNCHING THE AIR* ahhhhh the amount of time I smiled while reading this is unreal!! I love jungkook and I love this fic. I cant say anymore because of how cute it is! READ ITTTTTT!
Only For Love by @lysjeon  🥺🤬 jjk
-This has a special place in my heart because it was my first social media au. I LOVE the characters especially sarang 🥺its so well done and reread it all the time. Chae’s aus are really good 10/10 would recommend her whole entire masterlist
I Found  by @hxseok-honee 🥺🤬😂 myg
-Ahh!! binged this at 1am and I don’t regret it! It’s a hogwarts au featuring slytherin, brooding, meany, yoongi and hufflepuff reader that is friends with the whole squad. It really has everything that I love about hogwarts aus. The progression of their relationship was a whole roller coaster and at the end I was really happy for yoongi to be able to find his forever girl and be friends with crackheads. 
The Dinner Party by @lamourche 🥺🤬😏 myg
-Beautiful writing and the story is immaculate *chef’s kiss* I think about this fic once a month and reread it multiple times. I love it and hate it at the same time because I just want them together and figure their shit together, especially in the recent chapter. The circumstances and emotions are relatable that I just wanna hug both of the characters 😔
Rattled by @gukslut  🤬😏 jjk
-I’ve already recommended this before, meaning, this is really good. It follows jungkook as a single father with reader as his neighbor. Its angsty as fuck and will probably make you cry for jungkook because how much struggle he goes through with raising lovely areum by himself (respect for single parents!), but they figure it out in the end!
Seven Seas by @readyplayerhobi​ 🥺🤬😏 kth
-When I read Atlantis!Taehyung, I was sold. This fic pops up in my head once in a while and I love it every single time I read it again. OC is a smart bitch, and works hard to achieve whatever she desires. I love her relationship with taehyung sooo much, I could picture them together being oc’s parents: lovey dovey even when they’re old and supports one another😌
Intro: Her by @jamaisjoons  🥺🤬😏 knj
-God the amount of serotonin this gives me every time I read it is *chef’s kiss* maknae as namjoon’s kids is also a bonus! I really love family aus and this completely filled me with happiness. 
Chasing Butterflies by @ddaenggtan​ 😏🥺😂 jjk
-Pretty sure everyone already knows and loves this fic but I just had to put this here. It’s literally perfect! Oc pining for weeb jungkook is everyone because he’s cute as hell😔 the SECONDHAND EMBASSAMENT I felt when she confessed is too much😂😭 Please read it if you haven’t because IT’S SO GOOD
A Home Found In You by @lovmail​  🥺(wholesome) jjk
-Another single dad jungkook because I love it😔 This fic introduced me to rochelle’s account and binged all of her other fics (which are also great). This also pops up in my head at random times and I always give in to the urge of rereading it because its so good!
For Love and Money by @jimlingss​ 🥺🤬😏 ksj
-This shit was a whole roller coaster alright but I loved it! it’s a forced arranged marriage and when reading the first chapter, you will want to read more. I love both of the characters soo much and the progression is immaculate, so glad they got their shit together in the end😌
Brass and Strings @jimlingss​  🥺🤬😂 knj
-This was also another roller coaster of feelings and angst. It’s a little long but the pacing is really good. I LOVE the main characters so much!!! oc’s a badass, despite what she’s been through and I strive to be like her ngl😔 This made me cry on multiple occasions, just read this you won’t regret it.
Inside My Mind by @jimlingss​ 🥺😏 knj
-The amount of times I think about this on a monthly BASIS. It’s half fluff and smut which is the perfect combination for me😌 I love the concept of mind reading, but when people can hear nsfw thoughts though😳 honestly read it if you haven’t, IT’S SO GOOD 
The Deli Diaries by @jimlingss 🥺 pjm
-This shit was the CUTEST shit ever!! both characters are so cute (I’ve said that word so many times😭) and their interactions during work is so cute😭 At this point just read Kina’s whole masterlist
The Alpha by @ladyartemesia​ 🤬😏 pjm
SO GOOD, immaculate, well written, the plot 10/10. This fic is amazing!! I get so excited whenever I see that it’s updated. The world is so fascinating and detailed that you wanna learn more about it. The plot is so thrilling and the action parts got me so hooked! I can’t wait for more part to come!
A Court of Curses  by @readyplayerhobi​ 🥺🤬😏 jhs
UGGHHHH one of my favourite hobi fics ever!!! of course it’s a vampire and witch au. I love the main characters so much OK😭 they just wanna love each other and it physically hurt me when they were also hurting😭😭😭 but the ending is so satisfying, so I’m happy!
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magnusmysteries · 3 years ago
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Part 4: The Sixteenth Fear
The Magnus Archives was a horror podcast. It is now completed. Many of the show’s mysteries were never explained on the show. I intend to explain them. Spoilers for the show, but also spoilers if you wanna solve these mysteries yourself.
In part 3 I said every fear has an opposite. But the Flesh didn’t exist before the industrial revolution. So there would have been 13 fears then, an uneven number, and not every fear could balance against an opposite. So how could that be?
The answer is, there were only 12 fears before the Flesh. The Corruption and the Desolation used to be the same fear. 
Diego Molina of the Lightless Flame cult worships Asag. A Sumerian god of disease that could make fish boil. So Asag seems to be of both the Corruption and the Desolation.
In Infectious Doubts Arthur Nolan complains about it: “Not like I can vent to the others about what a prat Diego is. Got a lot of funny ideas. Still calls the Lightless Flame Asag, like he was when he was first researching it. I just really wanna tell him to get over it; I mean Asag was traditionally a force of destruction, sure, but as a church we very much settled on burning in terms of the – face we worship, and some fish-boiling Sumerian demon doesn’t really match up, does it? Plus there’s a lot of disease imagery with Asag that I’ll reckon is way too close to Filth for my taste, but no, he read it in some ancient tome, so that’s that –“
Ancient is the key word. The tome predates the industrial revolution and the Flesh. Asag probably isn’t a thing anymore and Diego is indeed a prat for worshipping it.
In The Architecture of Fear Smirke writes “I know you say the Flesh was perhaps always there, shriveled and nascent until its recent growth, but to grant the existence of such a lesser power would throw everything into confusion. Would you have me separate the Corruption into insects, dirt, and disease? To divide the fungal bloom from the maggot?”
It is not random that Smirke uses the Corruption as an example here. The Corruption is the opposite of the Flesh, so the Corruption is the fear that Smirke believed had no opposite for hundreds or thousands of years.
In part 3 I said vampires where Corruption/Desolation/Hunt. This is a little far-fetched, but I wonder if the vampire’s we’ve seen have been old ones that predate the Flesh. And that’s why they are part Corruption, since Corruption and Hunt used to be next to each other. Maybe there are more modern vampires without the long sucking tongue. Maybe instead of sucking blood, when they bite you begin to burn or boil. Since the Hunt is now next to the Desolation instead of the Corruption-Desolation combo.
In Vampire Killer Trevor says “I have killed five people that I know for sure as vampires, and there are two more that may or may not have been.” There is a missing middle part of Trevor’s statement. Maybe there he talks about killing two vampires that are modern and therefore different so he’s not sure if they’re actually vampires.
Speaking of fears splitting up, why is the Darkness the opposite fear of the Slaughter? In Last Words we hear of the first fear “A fear of blood and pounding feet, a fear of that sudden burst of pain and then nothing.” 
And of the second fear “The fear of their own end, of the things that lived in the darkness, became a fear of the darkness itself.”
I think the first was a general fear of violence. It includes what became the Hunt “Blood and pounding Feet...” and the Slaughter “...Sudden burst of pain and then nothing”, and the End “The fear of their own end…” And the second fear was the Darkness. They were the opposite by default, simply for being the two first fears.
When the Buried became a fear, the Hunt split up from the Violence to oppose it. When the Vast became a fear, the End split up from the Violence to oppose it. All that was left of the Violence was Slaughter, still opposing the Dark. When humans began warfare, fear of war fit nicely with the Slaughter.
The Eye might have been part of the Dark at first. Still from Last Words: “...because they knew the dark held flashing talons and shining eyes…” 
When the Lonely became a fear, the Eye split up from the Dark to oppose it.
So what about the Extinction? Does it have an opposite? Yes! There is a sixteenth fear. And what can be the opposite of the fear of the end of the world? The fear that the world isn’t real. That we’re all just living in a computer simulation. If you think the world isn’t even real, you’re not gonna be so worried about it ending. I’ll call it the Simulation.
Here is how the fears are arranged on the wheel, with the two latest fears added:
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Description of image: A circle with 16 spots similar to a clock. On each spot is a number and the name of a power: 1. Corruption. 2 Extinction. 3. Desolation. 4. Hunt. 5. Slaughter. 6. End. 7. Lonely. 8. Stranger. 9. Flesh. 10. Simulation 11. Spiral. 12. Buried. 13. Dark. 14. Vast. 15. Eye. 16. Web.
The Extinction is next to the Corruption. Disease and garbage are both gross. Possessive is an Extinction episode, even if not acknowledged as such by any of the characters. It’s about garbage. And Maggie is creating people out of garbage. She is making the inheritors mentioned in Time of Revelation. There are also creatures made of garbage in Concrete Jungle. And Maggie was full of moving insect legs, showing Corruption influence.
Quote from Adelard Dekker from Rotten Core: “I’ve spoken before about how keenly I’ve watched news of possible pandemics, which is where I suspect the Extinction may pull away from the Corruption during its emergence.” Adelard knows the Extinction is next to Corruption.
The Extinction is next to Desolation. That fits, nuclear weapons cause fire. Quote from Times of Revelation, describing corpses: “They were stiff, and desiccated, mummified by some process Bernadette could not begin to guess at, but that rendered their flesh like tightly packed ash” Ash as if they were burned.
The Simulation is next to the Flesh. The Flesh makes you think humans aren’t people, they are just meat. The Simulation makes you think humans aren’t people, they are just NPCs.
The Simulation is the next to the Spiral. Both make you question what is real. The Spiral makes you doubt your mind, the Simulation makes you doubt your world.
There are four episodes about the Simulation: Binary, Zombie, Cul-de-sac and Reflection.
In Binary Sergey Ushanka uploads his mind into a computer. He becomes a simulation and it hurts. There is influence by the Spiral, the statement giver isn’t sure if she’s going crazy. And there is influence by the Flesh. Ushanka uploads himself into a computer and then he eats the computer. So that’s cannibalism.
In Zombie the statement giver thinks other people aren’t real, they’re philosophical zombies, In other words they like simulations or NPCs. The man that follows her repeats the phrase “Just fine, thank you for asking” and says nothing else. Just like some NPCs in video games will say the same phrase over and over. The man is identical the three times they meet, except for his t-shirt changes color. Sometimes in video games some NPCs will be identical, except for some colors are changed. (Because it’s less work to recollar a character than to draw one from scratch.)
John thinks Cul-De-Sac is about the Lonely. And yes, the statement giver was lonely. But the people affected by the Lonely choose to be lonely, and the statement giver didn’t. His boyfriend broke up with him because of cheating and then he lost his friends because they sided with his boyfriend. 
I think the theme of the statement is unreality, not loneliness. In the Magnus Archives, when someone gets marked by a power it is because they made some wrong choice. The choice the statement giver makes is to return to the place he found dead and soulless. He drives back to his ex-boyfriend to deliver the moose, rather than send it by mail. He specifically wants to meet his ex. Not an act of loneliness, quite the opposite. Also he is returning a moose that is angular and creepy, in other words it is unreal.
When the statement escapes from the nightmare it’s because he got a phone call from his ex. And he says “I love you.” and that fits neatly with the Lonely. But it also fits with escape from the unreal. He escapes because he communicates with a real person.
The road signs says “Road” and “Street”. Generic and unreal. All the houses look the same. Like in a computer game. The statement giver wonders if they are the same house. Like in a computer game where one might reuse the code for a house many times.
The house he enters has stock photos. Unreal.
The people on TV have something wrong with their eyes, similar to the eyes of the zombies in Zombie. And it's a fake cooking show, and a fake infomercial.
The dead woman upstairs was someone who had social media profiles, and that nobody notices had died. Meaning she lived her life online. That sounds like she was lonely. But living online also makes her a good victim for the Simulation. Everyone she talked to was on a computer, she couldn’t know for sure if they were real.
The woman had killed herself with a mirror. I think what happened was she had looked into the mirror and seen that her eyes were wrong, like the eyes of the people on TV. And she had thought she was just a simulation, like everything around her. And therefore she killed herself. Or perhaps she wasn’t reflected in the mirror at all? Like in…
Reflection. Adelard speculated that this statement was about the Extinction, but I don’t think so. The protagonist was in a world that seemed unreal. A fun fair is artificial so that fits the theme. The people were playing games, which fits the theme via computer games maybe.
Adelard says “I can’t quite get past the detail that there was no reflection at all in the mirror he used to return.” It is almost at the end of Adelard’s letter, it’s clearly meant to be significant. The no reflection might be symbolic for the statement giver starting to think he isn’t real, which might be what happened to him after he gave the statement.
Reflection has influence by the Spiral, with the maze of mirrors. There is influence by the Flesh, with the cannibalism.
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dracosaurusrex · 4 years ago
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Chasing His Sun
Part 4 to Notebook!
Summary: Where Y/N tries to take her mind off of a certain Slytherin, only to have it backfire.
Pairing: Draco x Gryffindor!reader
A/N: Doesn’t a day spent in Hogsmeade sound fun? I got cravings for chocolate while writing this. Honestly tho, I threw up this entire chapter. I certainly hope you enjoy it, pero lyke I’m just going to let my imagination roam free at this point. I would really appreciate your feedback!! <3
Your eyes opened upon the feeling of sunlight hitting your face. Hints of orange and yellow that scattered through a blanketed, cloudy sky indicated to you that it was still early. You took in the peace that emitted through the sounds of birds chirping and felt at ease. It was a beautiful Saturday morning. You looked around your room, feeling groggy, as you recalled the incident that occured the night before. Piercing eyes, a teasing smile--a blush rose to your face as the embarrassment filled you up once again. You had no time to process what happened, because as soon as you met your bed, you knocked out. With the scenario now settling in, all you wanted to do was bury yourself in your grave.
‘The notebook. Oh shoot. Where’s the notebook?’ Your eyes widened when you realized that you had fallen asleep with it in your grasp, out in the open, where Hermione and Ginny could see it easily. With your heart racing and hands moving in a panic, you frantically shot up from your sheets, hoping that you haven’t been caught. You locate the notebook under your pillow and release a huge breath of relief as you hold it near to your chest. Not wanting to suffer another scare, you placed it into your bag.
“Y/N, are you up already?” Hermione asks. She must’ve woken up from the commotion that you just caused. Sleep was still visible from her eyes.
You chuckled nervously, “Yes I am. It’s a beautiful morning and I can’t seem to go back to sleep.” 
“We’re going to Hogsmeade today…” She starts off, “Would you like to join us? We leave at 10.” She lifts herself slightly from her bed to look at you with eyes half opened.
“Yea, I’d love to. I need to pick up a few things also.” You reply. In response, she gives you a tired thumbs up and drops herself back into her pillow.
Since there wasn’t much sleep left inside of you, you decided to get ready. The cold air from your window prompted you to bundle up. As you dress into something comfortable, your mind drifts back to the incident with Draco. Warmth took over after remembering what he had said in response to your little incantations.
‘Why did he say that?’ Yesterday was a whirlwind for your heart. How was it possible to keep your emotions in check when everything that happened gave you sparks of hope and longing? You thought back to potions, to the notebook, and to the encounter. There was no way, right? Would a guy, who held much pride for his house, develop feelings for a random girl in Gryffindor? You weren’t sure. Your heart leaned toward that possibility, but your mind wanted to set itself on the opposing side. All you knew now was that you had to avoid him at all costs. 
You glanced up at the clock hanging on the wall. It was now 8:30AM, and your two roommates were beginning to stir from their sleep. Having been done preparing for about ten minutes now, you decide to gather your things and pick up breakfast, ready to start the day ahead of you.
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You, Hermione, and Ginny stepped foot into Hogsmeade. Despite the grey clouds that covered the skies, you took delight in the small peaks of sunshine, which was joint with the cool breezes that blew through your hair. The cold, although nipping on your nose, evoked a warm feeling in your chest. Autumn was the best season.
The small town was filled with numerous shops. It wasn’t as plentiful as Diagon Alley, but its coziness added to its charm. You followed your friends as they explored Zonko’s Joke Shop and Honeydukes. The prior was too loud for your taste, so you opted to wait outside for the two girls. However, time spent in latter was always good fun. You admired the confections from the window, and excitedly went inside. The sweet aromas that flitted the shop draw a memory from the back of your mind.
In connection to the interactions that you had with Draco the day before, you can’t help but recall the first time you ever had a real conversation with him. How his affections caught you off guard. How it caused your heart rate to speed up numerously within one sitting. How you realized that he wasn’t as bad as others make him out to be. He was actually quite sweet in contrast to his typical personality. There weren’t chocolate chip cookies available in Honeydukes, but the goods made you think of him with much fondness as the coziness that you initially felt in your heart spread even more. 
You examined the sweets that were arranged neatly on their respective racks, picking out several bags of chocolate frogs in contentment. ‘I wonder if Draco likes chocolate frogs.’ you thought. After scanning the shelves for a few more minutes, you came across peppermint toads. ‘Draco, oddly enough, smells like mint. His behavior also reminds me of a toad.’ You laugh at the thought and keep an inward smile stuck to your face. He wasn’t around you, yet the thought of him weighed a huge deal in your heart. Not that you didn’t mind it. 
You added the packs of toads into your little basket. ‘Maybe he’d like some too.’ You thought. 
Happy with your selections, you bounded to the front counter to pay. You weren’t aware of how much time you spent in the store, because you totally lost track of Hermione and Ginny. They were nowhere in sight, and now you were left alone. You stashed your purchases in your bag and waved the shop owner goodbye. Once you stepped outside of the shop you scouted out for your friends. You stared at your surroundings with your eyebrows furrowed, only to have your attention to be stolen by the sound of a very shrill laughter. 
Off in a distance, you see a mop of platinum blonde hair. Draco stood with his hands wrapped around his waist. He sported a sleek outfit, clad in black, which was emphasized by the rings that adorned his fingers. The cold air made the flush of red more apparent on his cheeks. Furthermore, the way his laughter escaped his lips gave life to the butterflies in your stomach. You made it firm to yourself that you were trying to avoid him, and yet the universe decided against that. 
Draco felt your eyes burrow into the back of his head, causing him to turn to your direction. He had stopped laughing at this point when you came into his sight. The way the sun seemed to act as a spot light to you caused his heart to flutter. You weren’t even dressed in clothes that would be considered eye-catching, but to him, you were just that: The apple of his eye. He remembered the way you called his name, how you emphasized every syllable. Your voice seemed to give his name meaning and it made him genuinely happy.
You on the other hand still couldn’t bear the thought of him catching you swooning over his name. It was embarrassing to have been caught in your own feels--a moment that was only meant for you. You broke off the eye contact that was held between the both of you and walked in the other direction. Hoping that he wouldn’t attempt to follow you, you made your way to Scrivenshaft’s Quill Shop, your ultimate favorite.
Draco’s line of sight followed you. He was driven by the thought of seeing you again. The way the sun hit you, the way you smiled warmly at him, the image of you so focused and wrapped up in your own affairs elicited such a huge surplus of emotions from him. You didn’t have to do much to get his attention. He was extremely enamored by the thought of you.
“Hey you guys. I have to run some errands. I’ll go meet you at Three Broomsticks.” He announced.
“Let me go with you!” Exclaimed an excited Pansy.
Draco sternly gazed at her, “No. I want to be left alone.” Coldness was laced within his words with efforts of pushing her away. It worked as she was seen dejectedly turning to Crabbe, Goyle, and Blaise. The boy continued to make his way through a crowd of people, his head turning from side to side with hopes to catch you alone once again. He peered carefully into a number of stores, often throwing a second glance just to make sure he didn’t miss you. His heart was beginning to pick up its pace as his concentration solely focused on finding you.
As if the sun was listening to his thoughts, light was casted to your figure in the small stationary shop the same way it had the first time you spoke in the library. Draco stopped dead in his tracks, breath hitched once he saw you. He couldn’t describe the reason why you made him feel the way he did. You looked so unreal. You seemed so unreal. You weren’t even aware of how beautiful you looked at this very moment, and you didn’t even need to make an effort to do so. 
From the very first moment you shared up until now, interactions were limited and minimal, but Draco couldn’t deny the pull no matter how much he tried. The image of you smiling under the sun was something he knew he wanted in his life. If the ambitious traits of Slytherin took form, it would embody this very moment: Not wanting to lose you again, he stepped forth into the shop.
He delicately pushed the door forward. The shop itself was quite inside and smelled of parchment and old books. He didn’t want to catch your attention right away, so he roamed through the aisles quietly, keeping close sight of you. You were excitedly examining quills on display, testing them out with a satisfied expression on your face. You thought it might’ve been weird to others, but you absolutely loved stationary.
Draco witnessed as your eyes glimmered at the sight of shelves filled with journals that resembled his. They were neatly arranged by color, starting from shades of reds and blues on the bottom shelves, and greens and yellows on the top. You ran your fingers across the spines, and stopped once you were met with the green journals. The top shelves were a little bit beyond your reach, requiring you to step on your tiptoes in order to snag one. Proving to have a tough time, you placed your items on the side so that you’d have more access. However, the struggle to obtain a green journal remained. Your body was stretched, your arms were extended to its full length, and your calves were starting to burn. Having enough of a delight in seeing your effort, Draco quietly made his way to you without you noticing. 
Your focus was still extremely concentrated on the object until it was broken by the feeling of a warm breath hitting the back of your neck. Your eyes widened. You saw a black arm extend from behind you, grabbing the green notebook with ease. Startled, you jolt backwards, hitting Draco’s chest with your back. As you turned to see who your mystery helper was, a free hand held your arm, stabilizing you and preventing you from falling over.  Your eyes were met with Draco’s silvery orbs, the distance between your bodies was minimal. His gaze was intense, and it excited you inside. Suddenly, a child came passing through the aisles, causing you to push your back against the shelf and enclosing you between Draco’s arms.
Realizing the position you were in, you couldn’t help but draw your stare away from his eyes. The closeness made it all the more intimate, and a blush threatened to grace your face. Hearts were racing at a hundred miles per hour at this point.
You heard Draco curse under his breath, “Idiotic child.”  
You chuckled, still trapped against the wall. The sound of your laughter garnered the attention of the boy as he turned his head to your direction. You didn’t realize how tall he was until this moment. You looked up, sucking your lips in to hide the smile that had already formed.
You grinned at him, “Nice seeing you here, Malfoy.” 
Draco cleared his throat and straightened his posture. After taking a good look at your small figure beneath him, he spoke, “Pleasure’s all mine, darling.” His face was graced with a smirk. You felt heat rise within you as the unfamiliar nickname--that directed towards you--rolled off his tongue.
“Is this the journal you were looking for? It looks awfully similar to mine.” With a huff, you tried reaching out for it, only for it to be raised well above your head. 
“Damn you and your long arms!” He only laughed. You tried to create a mad expression, but you couldn’t hide your smile. Draco’s actions kept taunting you as you jumped desperately to take the notebook out of his grasp. 
“What do you want from me!?” Your blush was already so apparent, and your hair was disheveled.
“‘What do I want?’ You ask?” Draco stopped moving and dropped his arms to his sides. Noticing how some hair strands covered your face, he reached out to you and pulled them behind your ear. Your eyes followed his movements and went back to his face. His expression turned serious as he handed the notebook to you. He began to scan your face before leaning into you. You subconsciously pressed yourself further into the shelf. You could feel his breath tease your ear.
He whispered, “Spend this day with me.” 
You were so flustered at this point, you didn’t even bother to say no. The intention of avoiding him was thrown out the window as your attempts to do so were ultimately deemed futile. The effect this boy had on you was indescribable.
Draco bent down to your level and smirked, “I’ll wait for you outside.”
A/N: I’m really grateful for all the support you all have given me! Seeing you all happy makes me happy also. I hope you have a great day!
PS. Feel free to talk to me! With that being said, should I open up requests?
Taglist: @m-winchester-67 @bbeauttyybbx @un-limit-edd @poetontheblock @tttyrus @stretchyice  @vaeonshi
Here’s Part 3!
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teaandatale · 3 years ago
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO @geekynerddemon who so lovingly wished for me to finish Layer on Layer. And though I haven’t been able to do so, I thought I would whet your appetite with a preview of Part 1 of my 2 Part Epilogue.
Please note this is a rough draft & subject to thorough revisions when I get the writing muse under control again.
Layer on Layer: Epilogue- PART ONE
“You see one painting, I see another, […] it’ll never strike anybody the same way and the great majority of people it’ll never strike in any deep way at all but—a really great painting is fluid enough to work its way into the mind and heart through all kinds of different angles, in ways that are unique and very particular. Yours, yours. I was painted for you.” ― Donna Tartt, The Goldfinch
Despite the scorching heat radiating from the sudden summer outside, Steve had turned the AC off while the sun blazed in through the windows of the loft’s living room where he’d been painting. He had his music turned up and he was humming as he worked.
Peggy had given him the custom made easel, sturdy, adjustable, gorgeous, no doubt pricey, as a gift. He’d been painting so much that Peggy had deemed it necessary he have an easel at her place, a designated space to work since he spent so much time there anyway. She had claimed is a selfish gift after he voiced concern about her being too generous, assuring him she looked forward to watching him paint from the comfort of her couch. And she often did, taking breaks from her work by watching him mix colors and paint broad strokes.
The first thing he had painted at his new easel was for her, another detailed flower arrangement, just for her.
After unveiling the final product of Ana’s anniversary painting, which reportedly made Ana cry, happy tears Jarvis assured, she had given Steve a tremendous hug and after their double date dinner, they discussed art for a long time, their significant others at their sides sipping tea opting to discuss the dessert spread instead. He’d been so happy and warm to sit there among her friends, her make-shift family, accepting and open to him. How he could possibly love Peggy more he didn’t fully understand other than that he was learning he did it with every passing day.
Not long after that, Peggy started suggesting dates at more art museums and galleries. She watched him paint and encouraged him to do it more broadly. To show his work. To do more commissions. He wasn’t sure about all that, but he did start to paint more and more. He’d started even transferring images out of his therapy journal into oils. He’d done several, even brought one in to show his art therapy group. They encouraged him to make a series, to show his stories on canvas.
Steve swirls his paintbrush into his yellows, ochres melding with browns.
He’s deep in concentration getting her warm brown eyes just right, the right shade, the touch of a knowing glimmer in them. He remembers the first time they locked eyes, across her bedroom, just down the hall from where he stood right then.
He’s so deep in concentration, he doesn’t think twice at the sound of the front door opening and then when he hears footsteps approaching.
“Hey Peg, aren’t you late?” he asks distractedly without looking up.
“She sure is,” a voice that’s not Peggy’s startles him. He nearly drops his palette, tipping it over and paint gets on his bare chest.
He looks up and sees Angie.
“Sorry!” she cries out, and he notices she’s not looking at his face when he sets the palette down, trying to wipe at the pint on his skin. “Wow. This is a look. Go English!”
Steve blushes, grabbing his rag and using it as a make-shift cover for at least part of his bare torso.
“I thought you two were meeting at your hotel for drinks,” Steve said, reaching over to the couch for his shirt. Angie is still staring when he slips it on.
“We were but she was running late. And so when she didn’t show I thought I’d see if we got our wires crossed and see if she was here. Sorry for scaring you. I still had my key, and I wasn’t thinking. I didn’t realize you’d be here.”
“It’s okay,” he said. “I’m sure Peggy just got caught up or stuck in traffic. You know how her work is.”
Angie nodded. “Yeah, she’s always going at a hundred miles a minute.” She stepped further into the room until she was right in front of the canvas. “You’re painting Peggy! You’ve been painting a perfect portrait of her half-naked looking like a Greek God. Unreal.”
Steve blushed further. “It’s hot in here but I prefer the breeze and the sunlight filtering in while painting so I turned the air conditioning off.”
“Oh don’t apologize, Steve. This has been the best surprise to walk into. I can’t imagine how Peg handles coming home to this every day.”
“We’re not living together.”
The yet goes without saying.
She giggled. “Yeah and when’s the last time you were at your place?”
“This morning,” he said defensively.
She just smirked and continue to devolve into giggles.
“You’re an amazing artist. That looks just like Peggy, down to that spark in her eye. I might need to hire you to paint me.”
He laughed. “Free of charge Angie. Friends and family plan.”
She grinned. “You’re as sweet as a button, you know that?”
“Can I get you something? Water?” he asked, already headed into the kitchen.
“Water’s good.”
They say down in the living room together chatting.
“How was your flight? Did you have press today?”
“Yup. Did a few of the morning shows. I have a late-night show appearance tomorrow afternoon that I’m pretty excited about. I can’t believe they’re having me on it!”
“We’ll have to record it. Peggy and I have been watching every episode by the way. But we’re a few behind because I have to wait and watch them with her. But you’re our favorite!”
“Aw, shucks. I cannot believe you got Peggy watching network TV.”
He laughed. “No I got her to use Netflix. You got her into network TV. She says you’re the most believable, though she always figures out the plot twists before I do. Are you giving her spoilers?”
“No way! And give away the impact of my performances before she sees them? That’s definitely all English. How’s she been? Super busy?”
“A little, but less so recently. She had a busy few weeks before her conference with the EU but she’s been keeping a regular schedule lately, coming home for dinner most nights.”
“Guess I just got unlucky with my timing,” Angie replied. “But I’m glad Peggy’s been taking some time for herself.”
Steve nodded. He’d seen Peggy in all sorts of ranges of stress in the last ten months. He’d been so glad that she’d been taking more personal time off, delegating, taking care of her well-being, seeking out his support when she needed it. Of course she was a busy woman. That was a given. But she always tried to make time. She always took the effort to stay present when they spent quality time together.
She’d gone out of her way to support his painting. They’d spent so many evenings out, sipping wine and swinging by the latest “hot” opening only for Peggy to proclaim that his work was much better, more moving, worthy of his own showing.
He still wasn’t all too sure about the whole artist career, but he loved how supportive she had been. How much she cared. How much she believe in him. It was nice to know if nothing else, he had a fan in Peggy.
“I’ve been trying to make sure she’s been taking care of herself better.”
“Good. I already know how good you are to her. She’s always happy to talk about you. I wouldn’t have believed it before actually meeting you.”
He shrugs off the compliment, after all he didn’t want the praise for just being there for someone he loved. Besides she deserved it and more.
“Maybe she’s got held up in a meeting. I’m sure she remembers our reservation,” Steve said after another fifteen minutes without hearing from her. “I’ll try to call her again.”
He didn’t catch her, but he did leave her a message reminding her of their reservation and that he and Angie would meet her there. Steve changed quickly in Peggy’s room and then the two of them hailed a cab. Angie filled him in on some L.A. gossip and some stories of her cast mates. He liked how bright and bubbly Angie was. He liked hearing stories of how she and Peggy became friends. How Peggy had always believed in Angie becoming an actress, and how the two always had each other’s backs. He liked knowing there were people apart from himself that cared so much for her.
They were early for their reservation, opting for the bar while they continued to swap stories. He checked his phone once they were seated but there were no messages. Angie convinced him to split an appetizer as she was starving and he hadn’t eaten since lunch.
“Must be some hell of a meeting English is stuck in for her to respond to my texts for like five hours.”
Steve hummed, checking his phone.
“Wait. What did you say? You haven’t heard from her in that long?”
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