#usuallybiweeklyblog

[awkwarddystopianwarlord]

A Good Day to Drive Hard

A ton of quirky, coming-of-age, summertime teen movies feature road trips. Or at least, that is what my brain is currently telling me. Well, I know not if I fall into the correct “quirky” category these characters do, I’m nearly a quarter of a century old, and I hate summer…but a road trip with the boys is happening nonetheless. Nothing screams adulthood like driving sixteen hours to go to a mall and a zoo. And nothing screams quirky goofy antics like outrunning wildfires the entire time. It’s a perfect introduction to summer.

Despite me getting carsick the second I smell the inside of a car, I’m excited. We’re gonna pass a bunch of A&W’s, we have that here but these will be interior flavoured. We’ll also go to Hot Topic, which we’ve been to on the mainland, but again, this’ll be interior flavoured. We’ll even get to see some giraffes, the same ones that were featured in “The Last of Us”, the hit show where the Mandalorian becomes a father figure to a human child instead of a Yoda-lookin one.

If you’re confused by me describing these places as “interior flavoured”, it’s because we be heading towards the interior of Canada. We’re going to Calgary! We’re going to Edmonton! And it’s gonna be super weird because the usual ocean is going to be very far away and a good chunk of the land will be flat. I’ve personally never been to another province as far as I know. I could’ve driven through one, I’m not sure since I typically pass out on long car rides for survival purposes. I’m looking forward to seeing some new scenery in theory, unless the smoke is so thick we can’t see anything. Either way, in spirit, we will experience different landscapes.

I made sure to pay my rent today just in case we get trapped by a merciless inferno past the first day of next month and I am ready to go. This will be the longest amount of time we’ve all hung out together. Six friends, one stupid ass looking car, five days of shenanigans. It’s probably gonna be wacky. All worth it though, since I’m finally going to see the terrifyingly gigantic West Edmonton Mall. I heard so much about this place when I moved to Canada and I was always so baffled by its size and offerings. It seems unreal, futuristic, overwhelming. I can’t wait to get lost.

This is definitely a much needed break too. Work has gotten incredibly stupid again and I want to be elsewhere right now. Every day that I saunter towards the mall where my soul goes to die, I see the bus I take home make its way to the stop I wait at after my shift. Every day, I want to run to that bus and go all the way back to my house. They do it in movies all the time with no consequences, but this is reality, so I’m going to go to another province and fist fight forest fires instead.