#kim seokjin

[dasisugarun]

bts in yellow 💛

[jkvjimin]

the 'face card never declines' series starring: kim seokjin for kayla 🌼 @cordiallyfuturedwight

[kimseokjinn]

[girlatmirror]

the viscount who loved me | jjk

It was your sister’s season, and she was the diamond, while your season was still a year away. Though suitors could seek your hand already, it doesn’t excuse you for secretly pining after the viscount who courted her.

viscount!jungkook x reader

warnings: (kinda??) morally gray yn and jk, sexism (c’mon it’s the 18th century what did u expect), sex (bye minors), it’s not sex centered tho, longing and yearning (bring real romance back), cheating (is it tho, idk u be the judge), u might get mad at the main characters, enemies to lovers, heavily inspired (or stolen) by my loves anthony and kate 😍😍, yn is the younger sister and has yet to enter her season, but she is in her twenties!! (not specified in the text, but i was thinking jk is like 27, yn’s sis is 24 and yn is like 22, just to clarify) is idk what else. ENJOY!

_

The fresh, sunny air of London on that day called you to leave the mansion and ride your horse, Cinnamon, into the forest, just as you did every morning that was suitable for a nice ride. It was not entirely proper to do so in that society, but they did not need to know about it. You always felt safe; you rode at a time of day when you were sure nobody would see you. You had a set time of 20 minutes; after that, you returned home, wearing a cloak with a hat that covered half your face. If someone were to catch you, you could merely lower the hat, and they would not know who you were. The last thing you wanted was to bring shame on your family, especially not in a society as cruel as that one.

You rode to your familiar place and felt the breeze of the wind in your hair; you felt free. It continued to be the beautiful, calm ride you were used to—until you heard the sounds of a man, seemingly talking to you.

"Miss?" the voice from afar called. "Miss, are you in trouble?" To your dismay, the voice came closer so quickly that you did not know where to go or what to do. If you were to ride deeper into the forest, you would get lost, and if you rode straight ahead, the man would see you either way. It seemed even this baggy cloak could not conceal your femininity as you had thought it would.

The man came nearer, and you turned your head so he would not recognize you.

"Miss, if there is a problem, I shall help you," his deep voice stated. "It is not suited for a young lady to be out here unchaperoned."

You did not say a word, your face still turned in the opposite direction. You did not think it through, and he turned his horse to face you, ducking his head to see you. You had never felt this silly in your life. You took off the hat hesitantly, revealing long curls and innocent, almost pleading eyes.

Before you sat the infamous Viscount Jeon on his horse, a most important figure of the ton. The gossip columns described him as a ‘rake through and through,’ yet he was as captivating as a summer’s night and as wealthy as the stars were numerous. Indeed, there was not a mother in the ton who did not dream of him marrying her daughter.

You were sure he recognized you as well; with your sister being the diamond of the season, there was not a single gentleman in London who did not know the family he wished to marry into.

"I know you," he revealed. "You are the daughter of Baron Ln. Miss, you should not be here alone. It is dangerous."

"I am not here alone, my lord; I am here with Cinnamon... and you are here, also," you stammered, hesitantly and nervously.

The viscount did not hide his amusement, chuckling while shaking his head. He found the entire sentence you had just said to be hilarious.

"You do not need to be scared; I shall not tell a soul about this encounter," he reassured you, still chuckling. "But I believe you should head home now, for your folks should get worried."

You listened to him, still flushed and slightly embarrassed, and headed home.

The Viscount Jeon certainly was gentler than what the columns wrote about him.

___

"Mother, I was unable to breathe in this corset. It was utterly ridiculous, and it elevated my bosoms up to the sky," you said, exaggerating, while your maid tied up the corset—who was, at that moment, your rival.

The last ball you attended had been the first of the season at the palace, where your beautiful sister, Nadia, had been chosen as the season’s diamond by the queen herself. You had been proud beyond measure; your sister was the eldest of your household and often played a secondary motherly role. She deserved to have the finest suitors begging for just a pinch of her attention.

"I did not have such a problem, sister, and my corset was just as tight, if not tighter, than yours," Nadia declared, looking down at her much flatter body.

"I cannot help but wonder why..." sarcasm left your mouth.

Since the queen’s announcement, your mother had not stopped rushing, running errands, investing in your jewelry collections, and buying dresses from the finest modistes in the city. Your mother had always been insatiable and prideful, yet you had never seen this side of her before.

"My dear Yn, your sister is the diamond of the season; she is destined to wed a most extraordinary gentleman, one who must possess both fortune and lands in locales of which we have never even heard, and court her heart with poetry. Such is the very least that the daughter of a most noble man is entitled to receive. She is the jewel of her season, which ensures that all eyes shall be upon her—and upon us. We shall create a most splendid impression at tonight's ball at Danbury House. We simply must," Lady Ln proclaimed, her pride evident as she gazed at herself and her two eldest daughters in the mirror. "Moreover, Yn, what is this lamentation regarding your bosoms? Such femininity is precisely what captivates a gentleman and stirs envy among the young ladies of the ton. You shall also find your match. Both of my daughters are undeniably the most beautiful women of the ton, nay, of the entire world!"

You and Nadia glanced at each other, trying not to laugh at your mother’s boasting. She had been excited to get her daughters married since they were born, always saying that marrying off a son was not as exciting and beautiful as marrying off a daughter. Your two older brothers had both gotten married in the last few years.

You did not like to admit it, but you had been dreaming of your prince charming since you were just a little girl, waiting to get married. Not because of the couples you knew, but because of the books you read that spoke of longing, making you feel as if you were living the character’s life.

"Lena, get the ladies ready; I shall attend to the little ones. They are out in the gardens, engaged in activities unknown to me," your mother commanded the maid, exiting the chamber with graceful haste to see what her mischievous twins were up to.

"Is it not amusing how mama calls Hana and Idris little ones despite their approaching age of sixteen?" Nadia shook her head, smiling. She admired herself in the mirror and told Lena to fix up her hair. "I must look perfect."

Nadia was a perfectionist through and through, the eldest daughter of a baron and his insatiable wife—a combination that could only produce a girl whose expectations for herself were high, too high for anyone to reach.

"You do look perfect. You are the diamond, Nadia; not a single soul in that ballroom shall utter an ill word about you—and if they do, it is out of pure envy," you said adoringly. "I must say, I cannot wait to meet my new brother; I bet he is a most handsome gentleman who shall ask you to dance, and in the morning, he shall call on you, saying how he cannot stop thinking about you and that you are as beautiful as a blooming flower."

Your teasing was accompanied by you dancing around playfully and blinking your eyes at a fast rate, which irritated your maid, who, of course, wouldn’t say a word to you beyond measure as she adjusted your dress. Nadia shoved your shoulder in a joking manner, smiling to herself.

"I shall find myself a love match, much like Baba and Mama—I desire a love like theirs; that is my only goal," her eyes communicated her feelings of yearn, while you nodded.

"You shall. You are your mother’s daughter, after all; you shall always get what it is you desire," you kissed her cheeks encouragingly, and she looked at you with thankfulness.

"Ladies! The carriages have arrived. Make haste!" Your mother’s demanding voice called from downstairs, resulting in you immediately strutting down the stairs.

___

The Jeon family had a reputation to uphold. They were known for their generosity, their welcoming spirits, their lavish homes, and their riches. The viscountess was nothing short of the perfect viscountess, continuing to be so, even after her husband’s tragic death a mere couple of years ago.

She intended to find herself a replacement that season, desperately wanting to marry off her eldest, the viscount. Her desperation did not come from a place of fear of undesirability; it was quite the opposite.

The viscountess feared her son might be looking for a wife for the wrong reasons. What she and her late husband shared was a love she wished for all of her children; yet her son seemed to see the world differently. He wanted a wife only to fulfill his duties and produce an heir.

"Jungkook, the search for happiness and love is not shameful. It is indeed the bravest thing a man can do—to listen to his heart and let it guide him," the viscountess tried to woo her son, who did not look up from his estate’s accounts ledgers. "You cannot hold interviews for eligible young ladies to find a suitable one; you shall know she is the one when you gaze upon her and converse with her for the very first time."

"When will you realize that what you and father had is the exception, not the rule? I am the viscount; I hold many responsibilities, and one of them is to wed a girl of good noble breeding to replace you as viscountess and produce an heir who shall lead this family when I am gone," Jungkook responded calmly. "I have indeed let my heart guide me; we are in agreement. I shall not continue with the interviews, as I have already found my future bride in Miss Nadia, the daughter of Baron Ln."

His mother was shocked at the revelation, looking at him with a glimpse of hope and wonder. "The diamond? Oh, how delightful! She must have great promise to have caught the eyes of the viscount."

She recalled the last ball when the queen announced Nadia as the diamond. Her son had not had a chance to talk to her that night, as the girl was occupied with many overbearing suitors and mothers.

"Yes, indeed, Mother. She is accomplished in literature, she plays many instruments, dances quite beautifully, and she comes from a most respectable family. She shall be my viscountess," he explained further. "We shall attend the ball at Danbury House tonight, united as one. Miss Nadia shall be there as well; we might find a suitable gentleman for Yoona if that is what she wishes." Jungkook was referring to his younger sister as he spoke.

"Wonderful," his mother’s eyes sparkled with joy.

___

The Jeon family arrived quite late, but in style. The viscount dressed in fitted trousers and a crisp white shirt that accentuated his strong arms and broad shoulders, his brothers dressed similarly, and his sisters in beautiful, rich silk gowns.

Jungkook was already on the lookout for a certain diamond who had caught the attention of the entire ton. He was not worried she would reject his advances; after all, he was the viscount, and there was not a single gentleman in London who could claim to be more eligible than him.

"Excuse me," he gracefully pushed through the people standing before the diamond, all waiting for a turn to speak with her. "I wish to dance with you, Miss Nadia."

As the voice of the viscount was heard, the stares of the ton overwhelmed Nadia, everybody in utter shock; the viscount, who mothers had been trying to get to look at their daughters for years, wished to dance with a girl in her first season out? How very surprising and envy-inducing.

Nadia nodded shyly, letting go of her very proud mother’s hand and accepting the viscount’s. She wondered where her sister was until she saw her at the drink stand fetching herself a lemonade.

"You are an excellent dancer, my lady," Jeongguk expressed, his hand in hers as they attracted all the eyes of the crowd.

"That is all your doing, my lord," she shyly answered, a blush creeping up on her cheeks. "You are quite a natural."

Their conversation continued for the next few minutes. They discussed very trivial matters, but Jeongguk made sure to let her know that she had caught his eye.

Eventually, Nadia moved on to another gentleman, and the viscount disappeared out of sight.

After a while of proudly watching your sister dance beautifully with potential suitors, you decided to step outside for a while to catch a breath of fresh air.

You were not particularly in the mood for dancing that night.

"Do not tell me the Viscount Jeon is looking for a love match this season; what happened to the viscount who visited his courtesan at least once a day and enjoyed a good brothel show?"

As you walked into the garden of the grand Danbury House, you heard a conversation that sparked your interest. A group of men, including the viscount who had just danced with your sister, and a few others you did not recognize, were talking. Letting your curiosity wander, you remained silent and listened to their talk unfold.

"I assure you, I am not out to find a love match; I am simply fulfilling my duties. Is it so impossible to find a suitable wife for a viscount, one who has hips meant for birthing, the ability to woo me with her intellect, and does not require love? It is simply a struggle," Jeongguk complained.

"Not a lady in London lives up to the standards of the viscount, I presume," the other man standing laughed. "I have seen you dance and converse with the diamond of this season; tell me, Viscount Jeon, does the diamond live up to your standards?"

"She is a respectable young woman who I plan on getting to know better, but I must not judge yet, for I fear I do not know what I might find out," the viscount answered the man’s question with honesty.

By then, you were sure your face was red with anger. How dare that man, that filthy rake, talk about your sister or any woman that way? And to think that Nadia was completely smitten with him already, you could not believe this audacious behavior.

They continued talking about useless things.

"We shall go back inside, my lord; are you coming with us?" one of them asked.

"No, you go. I shall join you later," he said, wanting to stay in the fresh air.

He started moving in your direction, and you quickly tried to get away, but your foot caught something, making a loud noise. "Who is there?"

You knew you were as good as caught, so you revealed yourself. "It is you. Were you eavesdropping?"

It seemed his audacity continued.

There was a spark in his eyes as he looked you up and down, as if he suddenly remembered the encounter you had in the woods or as if he really enjoyed what he saw.

"I was not! Also, one cannot eavesdrop in a public space…" you defended yourself. "The words you spoke were filthy and jarring, my lord; I cannot help but believe it is best if you do not let your interest in my sister unfold."

He visibly became uncomfortable, the evidence in his face demonstrating that he knew he had said things that did not particularly present him well.

"Those words were not meant for your ears, Miss Yn," he said, attempting to maintain his composure.

"I heard them regardless. If this is you with all your guards down, if these are your true feelings, you are not a suitable match for my sister," you emphasized defiantly.

The viscount lifted his eyebrows at you, letting his eyes linger on your body until he gazed into your face again. "You do realize there is not a lady in London who does not seek the kind of marriage I offer? That is, besides the privileges of becoming the viscountess."

"Oh, is that true? You assume the ladies of London are so easily charmed by a pleasing smile and nothing more?" you questioned him, causing him to grin.

"You find my smile pleasing?" he smirked down at you.

"I find your opinion of yourself entirely too high. And I stand by what I said; you do not suit my sister," you spoke, crossing your arms.

He skimmed your body, an amusing expression forming on his face. "Miss Yn, I remember the morning in the park very well. It seems to me that you do not care much for the rules of this society; that is why you spoke to your viscount in that manner."

"My apologies, my lord. I simply feel defensive over my sister," you apologized, feeling blood rush to your face.

"That is quite all right; I know what it is like to have siblings one cares for," his smile was warm, which surprised you.

After a few awkwardly intense looks between you two, you decided to bow respectfully and leave the scene.

You left Jeongguk standing for a while, the smile on his face visible even from a long distance; your jasmine scent lingered, and your words never left his mind.

___

Ever since the announcement, suitors from all over London had come to visit the Ln house to spend time with the diamond.

You quickly got used to seeing gentlemen in your house every morning, conversing with your older sister while you pretended to be occupied with something else, secretly listening to their conversations.

That day was no different. It was exciting, to say the least, not only because you were happy for your sister, who was receiving all these presents and love, but also because it broadened your understanding of courtships; your sister was paving the path for you in the future.

Oh, how excited you were for your future marriage.

As you walked downstairs after waking up from a long night of carefree sleep, you could already hear the distant sounds of a suitor.

You smiled to yourself, walking into the spacious living room, where you found your mother and father sitting on one couch with smiles that spoke volumes.

As you entered the room completely and saw who your sister was talking to, your face began to drop.

It was him. The viscount.

The man whom you could not escape from, for some reason.

While they finished their conversation, your mother noticed you standing there. "Good morning, Yn! Look who came to visit your sister first thing in the morning! Greet the Viscount Jeon."

You bowed respectfully and begrudgingly spoke, "Good morning, my lord."

He simply smirked, reciprocating the greeting.

It was as if he was provoking you with his handsome face and effortless demeanor.

"I shall head home now," he announced, standing up from his seat. "Breaking my fast here was very lovely indeed, Lord and Lady Ln; I must thank you dearly."

They exchanged pleasantries and enthusiastic goodbyes, of course, not without the viscount promising to come back tomorrow around the same time.

As he stepped outside, you followed him, pretending to go on a garden stroll.

"My lord!" you called after him, making him turn around to you.

"Yes, Miss Yn?" he spoke with a tinge of teasing, which seemed to always be present when he spoke with you.

His coachman was patiently waiting, watching you two standing face to face.

"Why have you called on my sister?" you asked; you were always known for your bluntness, which was something you tried to work on.

The viscount sent you a questioning but amusing look before replying, "Am I not allowed to?"

You shook your head, trying to put your thoughts into words.

"You are allowed," you answered hesitantly. "But what I said to you at Danbury House, I meant. I do not believe you are the right man for my sister."

There was a short exchange of glances between you; you hoping he understood your concerns and him wondering how you gathered the audacity to speak to a viscount that way.

It was not that he was angry about it; he was merely surprised. He had never had a person talk to him that way.

"Miss Yn," he started, his voice low. "I believe your sister can make her own decisions, can she not? And I must say, she did not seem to have a problem with my presence at all… quite the contrary."

You knew he was right, but there was something in your intuition telling you that this would not work out; you looked at him and did not see your sister’s future husband.

Yes, he was wealthy, and he was quite handsome, but still… he was not the man your sister was looking for.

"I believe I know my sister better than you do, my lord," you insisted, as stubborn as you always were.

He simply chuckled. "I do not doubt it," before hopping into the carriage and waving goodbye to you.

You could not comprehend how severely irksome he was.

___

In the following weeks, Jungkook tried his hardest to impress your sister; calling on her, giving her extravagant gifts, attending events and balls seemingly only for her.

It felt like he could propose to her at any moment, and you did not like it.

Your sister, on the other hand, seemed to be very happy with the viscount’s affection for her.

Who would not be?

One day, your mother hosted a gathering in the diamond’s name—an opportunity for suitors to see your sister and make themselves known to her.

The Jeon family was invited and set to attend, but the invitation for the viscount was lost in the mail.

Jungkook was very busy that day; meetings and managing accounts and staff took up a great deal of his time.

He did not have time to prepare himself for the crucial task ahead.

After asking his brother, Namjoon, for help with the poetry he intended to read out loud at the Ln house, he read over the piece of paper and could not control his scoffs; he thought poetry might be the most deceptive tool of all.

Such pretty, empty words.

He ordered a carriage, hastily moving to make it to the party that he was so conveniently not invited to, and hoped for the best.

The doorman immediately let him in, obviously knowing who the Viscount Jeon was—a familiar face to all of London indeed. Marching in as if he owned the place, he found a huge gathering of gentlemen performing their talents—or lack thereof—to impress Nadia.

You and Nadia were sitting next to each other on the sofa; you wore a judging yet amused face, and Nadia looked very grateful for the time they took for her.

He dreaded that his eyes lingered on you for far longer than they did on your sister; you were wearing an accentuating, expensive gown and a classic updo, your expressive eyes drew him in.

"Please excuse my tardiness," Jungkook took his chance right when someone finished his performance, making a loud announcement that turned everybody’s head. "I shall read a poem I wrote for Miss Nadia.”

Your expression was hard to read; though you were certainly annoyed by his sudden appearance, there was something gleaming in your eyes that he could not overlook. Your eyes locked in a room full of people, something that seemed to happen quite frequently between the two of you. Your effect on him made him nervous to perform; for some reason, he cared for your opinion quite a bit.

Naturally, everybody respected the viscount and his wishes, giving him their full attention. Nadia’s smile was beaming; your mother was more than happy to see the viscount show further interest in her daughter, and the rest were in awe of the viscount, whose shell was very hard to penetrate to make such an effort for the diamond.

"What is it to truly admire a woman?" he read from a small piece of paper in his hand, and your heart began to beat faster than it should have. "To look at her and feel inspiration, to delight in her beauty, so much that all— all your defenses—"

Suddenly, he stopped; everybody in the room quieted as they attentively listened to his beautiful words. His sudden silence caught some off guard, including you, who sat there looking at him with longing eyes, and Nadia, whose smile slowly vanished. Whispers began to break out.

"My apologies, I cannot do this," the viscount stated, resulting in Nadia frowning slightly. "Truth be told, I am not a man of poetry; those words are someone else’s entirely."

A few quiet gasps could be heard around the crowd of people, but Jungkook did not shy away from speaking the truth.

"Miss Nadia... I cannot offer you pretty words and rhymes, but I assure you, when it comes to action and duty; I shall never be found lacking."

Your breath hitched in your throat, as if his words were hitting you in your chest.

There was a part of you that was grateful for his honesty; the probability that your sister would not want to continue a courtship based on a false perception.

But there was another part that hated his honesty; why did the man you were supposed to hate repeatedly find his way into your heart by revealing sides of him you felt drawn to?

You knew the viscount did not want a love match.

And you loathed him.

So why did your chest burn with every word he spoke?

You could tell your sister was lost for words, watching the viscount with curious eyes.

"Nadia..." your voice came out smaller than you expected. "If you wish for him to leave, I—"

But your sister’s response shocked you. She stood up and clapped her hands, a sign of approval for the viscount’s words.

Others started joining her, but you stayed put in your place.

Jungkook’s growing smile beamed, feeling relieved that Nadia didn’t seem to mind his lack of verbal affection.

"Nadia," you murmured to your sister. "Did you not hear what he said? He cannot offer you the love that you long for."

Nadia let out an understanding "I know," before explaining herself, "I have come to accept that. I do not need a love match that can turn into an incompatible marriage in the future; I now merely desire a stable, harmonious marriage, and I believe the viscount can offer that to me."

You did not know what to do besides sigh and nod. "I just want you to be happy, Nini."

Your sister took your hand and lovingly squeezed it before giggling. "I do hope you and the viscount can find common ground throughout our marriage."

You simply awkwardly smiled at her to mask the storm brewing inside you.

She got up to confront the viscount, while you sat on the couch, staring into nothingness while contemplating the confusing feelings that were so foreign to you.

___

With every passing day and night, Jungkook found himself consumed by thoughts of you.

You appeared in his dreams, haunting him like a beautiful ghost, the face behind his sleepless nights.

He was aware of the problematic nature of the situation—courting one sister while dreaming of the other was not something a gentleman did.

But your beauty resembled summer nights and hidden love letters, while your resistant character was consuming and complex; yet he saw kindness in your eyes.

To be truthful, he could not stop his thoughts surrounding you since that morning in the park—the first time you two talked, the first time he heard your beautiful voice.

While you swore you would not admit it to a living soul, you felt similarly.

The viscount refused to leave your mind, appearing in your dreams unannounced and causing havoc inside your heart with every moment you stayed in or out of his presence.

You could not bear it.

Not only did the viscount consume you, but shame accompanied him.

But you promised yourself it was a fleeting moment, and he told himself to suppress his feelings.

___

"My dears, we have received an invitation from Jeon House, inviting us for a week to their country residence in order to continue the courtship away from the ton’s attention; is that not lovely?" your mother spoke, excitement evident in her voice. She was sat beside your father, who was paying more attention to the pie.

"Ah, yes, I’m afraid I cannot join you for that trip; I have business to attend to here in the city," your father spoke, placing a reassuring hand over your mother’s. "But I am certain you will handle it yourself, dear."

Your mother simply nodded and smiled, still in a very happy state about where her daughter’s courtship was headed. Nadia was sat next to you with a similar shy smile on her face.

You, on the other hand, could not help but feel a strange sensation; it was so foreign and something you could not describe. You loved seeing your sister happy, yet there was always a selfish voice in your head.

What if the viscount were to propose?

You began to imagine that scenario in your mind, and you did not like the thought of it at all.

But you feared it wasn’t because of your ‘hatred’ for the viscount, but because of something that was quite the opposite.

___

After packing, organizing carriages, and your mother stressing the entire day, you finally made your journey to the countryside.

It was only your mother, your sister, and you, as your mother thought your younger siblings were better off at home with the housekeeper.

You felt beautiful, dressed in the finest clothes, the most beautiful cosmetics put on your already lovely face. But you were in an undeniable state of distress.

Just as you stepped out of the carriage after four long hours, you were met with the friendly faces of the Jeon family.

Your eyes immediately met the viscount’s, who always seemed to have a certain look of yearning and some sort of pain when he saw you. You locked eyes with his deep brown ones, which somehow spoke a thousand words. His nostrils flared slightly, and it was as if you were both in a trance, unable to take your eyes off each other.

You shared a moment swimming in his eyes before he slowly diverted his gaze elsewhere.

Somehow, he looked even more handsome than the last time you had seen him.

You rued those feelings, the tingle you felt near him, the desperate need to be in his strong arms, to be the only one he knew to love—those feelings you had only read about in books, the tingling in body parts you were taught not to speak of.

But more than that, you cursed yourself for feeling them; how dare you think about your sister’s intended that way?

Were you a girl of no upbringing? Were you not a lady intended for marriage in just less than a year? It was breaking not only your soul but your perception of yourself to be plagued by these feelings; but you knew it would break you more to betray your sister, so you knew you had to stay quiet.

Amidst your overwhelming thoughts, a graceful young lady who was about the age of your older sister and bore a great resemblance to the viscount approached you, right after greeting your mother. She stood next to the viscount, and unbeknownst to you, noticed the shared glances of longing between the viscount and you, surprised to see her usually earnest brother so taken by a girl.

"You must be Miss Nadia," she spoke with a gentle smile. "I am Miss Yoona, the viscount’s younger sister. I have heard very much about you. You are even more beautiful than he described."

You bowed respectfully, yet you did not have the words to express that you were not who she thought you were.

Jungkook stepped in, embarrassment slightly evident on his face as he coughed a little. "Yoona, that is not Miss Nadia; that is her little sister—Miss Yn."

He then pointed to your sister, who was greeting the viscountess. You saw a look of confusion on Yoona’s face.

After everybody greeted each other, you settled into the rooms assigned to you and made yourselves at home.

The rooms were spacious, clean, and very elegantly decorated.

The Jeons were indeed a very generous family.

You suppressed the thought of how lovely it would be to marry into the family, as it was just a thought for you, but the reality for your sister.

And you did not want to hurt your sister or yourself.

___

Despite the comfortable beds and the expensive silk fabric of the sheets, you could not sleep.

Not only because you were not used to sleeping on foreign beds in foreign houses, but because, if your mind could not rest, you could not.

Nadia, on the other hand, had fallen fast asleep on the bed next to yours.

You needed something to distract you from the chaos in your head; a glass of cold water or a breath of fresh air would do.

As silently as you could, you got out of bed and started wandering the halls of the grand Jeon house with a lamp in your hand.

It was magnificent.

You breathed in the warmth, smiling to yourself; it was as if the house knew what a loving family owned it.

While walking towards nothing specific, you stumbled into a large room, empty of people and full of books.

You entered it with a calm heart, grabbing one book after another, taking in the beauty of the written words.

Your calmness was short-lived as you heard the huge door open. You gasped loudly and held up the lamp to see who it was.

Before you stood the viscount in a nightshirt that modestly exposed his muscular arms. He looked handsome, even at nighttime.

"Are you not able to sleep, Miss Yn?" he asked while fully entering the room.

You shyly turned your whole body toward him, feeling exposed in your silky nightgown that clung to your every curve.

Feeling his eyes flicker over you, a sense of timidity washed over you. "No... I cannot seem to fall asleep. I do apologize for roaming around without permission, my lord; I simply could not resist these many books."

Jungkook chuckled softly, shaking his head slightly.

"You do not need to apologize," he assured you, now standing in front of you. "This is...was my father’s library. He read and collected books from all over the world. He was a very well-read man."

"May his soul rest easy," you softly sighed, pouting slightly at the mention of his deceased father. "He sounds like an extraordinary man."

Jungkook nodded in agreement. "He was. I would not be the man and the viscount that I am today if it were not for him."

You did not answer, simply making space for a short moment of beautiful silence between you. Your eyes were intertwined with his deep ones; you felt as if you could dive into them.

"Can I ask you a question?" he suddenly asked; you simply nodded. "Why is it that you are so opposed to the idea of me marrying your sister? Do you truly hate me so?"

You broke the eye contact for a second, trying to gather your answer, while your heartbeat undeniably quickened. "I do not hate you, my lord. I simply worry for my sister. I want the very best for her."

The viscount came closer to you, chuckling again, exposing his barely visible dimples. "And you believe that I cannot offer her the best?"

Your arms were now touching, sending electricity through your body.

"I simply cannot forget what I overheard in the gardens at Danbury House," you answered his question as confidently as you could.

Jungkook’s eyes slightly darkened at your words. "Those words were not for your ears, Miss Yn."

You started to become defensive, letting out a "But I did hear them regardless."

He poked his cheek with his tongue, his nostrils flaring up with mild anger, stepping closer to you until there was hardly any space left between you. "You do not know how much you aggravate me, Yn Ln."

You now felt his fresh breath against your face, causing dizziness.

"And you," you uttered quietly in response, your eyelids becoming heavier. "You believe you do not vex me? I have only grown to accept your presence for my sister’s sake, but only God knows how long I will last in this... this lie."

Jungkook tucked your hair behind your ear, leaning in to whisper into it. "This lie that you insist upon, what is it exactly? That you and I vex each other... or that we cannot seem to get away from one another?"

His voice was low and thick, tinged with a hint of teasing. You slightly backed away, but only to meet his dark eyes, which seemed to challenge you.

He leaned in until his lips were almost brushing against yours.

"My lord," you spoke in a soft whisper. "I—"

The sound of the door opening interrupted you.

Before you could get away from each other, a shocked Yoona witnessed the scene; as quickly as she entered, she left again, closing the door after saying a rushed "I am so sorry.”

You separated from Jungkook immediately after, running out in embarrassment and shame, leaving Jungkook standing in the middle of the library.

You could not believe what you had done.

___

Dinner with the Jeons was incredibly amusing; they were a big, loving family who were not afraid to share jokes and stories, even in front of guests.

To say you enjoyed yourself at dinner would have been an understatement.

In a moment of beautiful chaos, everybody laughed while simultaneously discussing intellectual topics. Jungkook raised his glass and stood up to make an announcement.

He was seated at the head of the table.

"I would very much like to start my toast by thanking our dear guests for taking their time to visit us at our country house. We are very delighted by your presence here with us," he started his tasteful speech. "Miss Nadia, it has been a delight to get to know you further. It is safe to say the Baron and Baroness Ln deserve praise for raising such an upstanding, demure woman... I would like to ask you a question, Miss Nadia."

While he spoke, the entire room fell silent, everybody attentively listening. His words added suspense to the atmosphere, making everyone wonder what he wanted to ask her.

It was obvious what everybody immediately thought of—for he was most likely going to ask for her hand in marriage.

Your mother and Nadia exchanged excited looks while you felt a thick lump form in your throat. The Jeons were all looking at Jungkook with an air of anticipation, waiting for him to finally speak the words.

Yoona tried her best not to gaze upon her brother with a frown of disapproval after she experienced whatever it was that happened between him and you the other night.

Jungkook began to awkwardly cough and put on somewhat of a feigned smile. "I wanted to ask you if you were ready for a game of pall-mall with this family or if you’d rather spare yourself the mayhem."

The whole table broke out in laughter—partially because they genuinely laughed and partially to cover up the awkwardness of the situation.

But you did not laugh, and neither did your sister.

"I would be... honored to play a game of pall-mall with you and your family, my lord," your sister tried to mask her sadness playfully.

During the rest of the dinner, your hand was placed on your sister’s back, soothingly running it up and down her spine.

___

Hours after the dinner, it was nighttime when you were supposed to be asleep, but you and Nadia found yourselves sitting on the bed—her head on your lap and your hand in her hair.

You always comforted each other in non-ideal situations, but this time felt different; it was the first time you felt you had wronged your sister, being the reason for her despair.

"Perhaps the viscount does not wish to propose because of you," your sister suggested, looking up and trying to gauge your reaction.

Your breath slightly hitched as you felt your cheeks warm.

"Uh—whatever do you mean, sister?" you carefully asked.

Nadia gave you a knowing look, presumably confused as to how you did not understand what she meant.

"The two of you loathe one another!" she exclaimed, her words making you sigh in relief. "He is probably under the impression that you would not approve."

You chuckled lightly at the irony. "Nini, he does not care what I think! I am your younger sister, not Baba or even Mama. Even if I do not approve, I do not make the decisions for this family; Baba does."

Your sister nodded but elaborated further, "I know, but there is something in my heart telling me that you are the reason he is so... reluctant."

Your heart skipped a beat, hoping she would not come to the right conclusions, wondering how you could steer her away from thoughts that could possibly lead to the destruction of your sisterly relationship.

"It is not as if I am desperate to marry him, but I believe it would make Mama and Baba unbelievably happy if I were to marry the viscount," she continued, sighing as she absentmindedly played with her hair. "He is wealthy, and he comes from a great family... I do not want to disappoint them."

"If the viscount does not wish to propose to you, it is not because you are lacking, Nini. You shall find wealthy suitors in every city you visit," you stated your opinion. "But I shall talk to him about it if that is what you wish."

Nadia jumped up from your lap, now facing you.

"I should very much like that, Yn," she admitted.

You gave her a gentle smile before getting up to pay the viscount’s office a visit.

His office was on the other side of the mansion—a long way to walk—but with your thoughts running wild, you did not feel the length of the walk.

You knocked on his door hesitantly and entered after he called out, "Come in."

He was seated at his paper-covered desk, staring down with intensity before looking up and seeing you.

"Miss Yn," he addressed you with a trace of surprise in his voice. "Is everything quite all right?"

You did not feel like wasting time, so you jumped right to your point.

"You have been set on courting my sister despite my every objection, and now you plan to cast her aside?" you accused, your tone defensive. "What has she done to deserve this?"

His eyes darkened; he momentarily forgot about the paperwork, getting up from his chair to walk up to you.

"It is not her," he raised his voice. "It is you."

His honest words felt like a gentle hit in your face; your intuition knew what he meant.

"But I am to marry next season!" you exclaimed reactively.

"You believe that is what I desire you to do?" he shouted, his jaw clenched. "There is not a thing you can do—not a corner on this earth that you can travel to—that will free me from this torment."

He continued, "I am a gentleman; my father raised me to act with honor, but that honor hangs by a thread that grows more precarious with every moment I spend in your presence."

"You are the bane of my existence... and the object of all my desires," the viscount added, almost in agony, coming closer to you, whispering in your ear. "Night and day, I dream of you. And when I—do you even know all the ways a lady can be seduced? The things I could teach you..."

Your breath hitched; your tight dress accentuated your breasts as your breath quickened with every word he spoke with every step he took closer to you.

"I did not ask for this," you finally got the chance to talk, facing him directly, barely an inch away. "To be plagued by these feelings... being distracted every time you enter the room, hiding those feelings from my sister... I did not ask for any of it."

"If I were to wed your sister, that would bind me to you for eternity," he stated, stepping away from you. "And I would spend my whole marriage dreaming of you, wanting you, longing for you... until the last thread of my honor snaps. Is that the future you want for us? For your sister?"

You shook your head, unable to say anything.

"Then I shall not go forward with this courtship," he declared, his eyes burning into your skin. "If that is what you wish."

You slightly shook your head—not out of disagreement, but as a signal to yourself to stop the urge to melt into him, a dizzying feeling taking over you.

"It is very much what I wish, my lord," you admitted in a whisper. "I could not bear it..."

He stepped closer again, now breathing your air. "What could you not bear?"

Your fingers grazed his and it felt like a fire ignited inside you.

"I could not," you whispered into his ear, fingers tapping gently against his thick arms. "I could not bear the sight of you with her."

Jungkook leaned into your touch, his eyes closing from the overwhelming urge to embrace your whole body.

"Yn..." he softly breathed into your ear. "All I find myself thinking about—all I find myself being able to breathe for—is you. Do you think I want to be in this position? Contending with these thoughts of wanting to be nowhere except with you. Wanting to run away with you. Acting on the most impure, forbidden desires, no matter... how much I must remind myself I am a gentleman and you are a lady."

Your breath hitched, and you felt a sensation between your legs, pressing them together. He continued, "It is maddening how much you consume my every being."

You grazed your hand further down his arms, eyes locked and bodies almost pressing against each other; if anyone were to catch you, it would be scandalous.

"No," you protested in a whisper. "It is you— you who has thrown my world off its axis, you who has made me question my sanity, you who consumes my every thought, so do not dare to blame me... do not blame me."

Your lips brushed against each other, his breath hitting your lips and your breath hitting his, before they finally collided and became one in a passionate kiss. His hands wandered down to your defined waist, grabbing onto you as if you would fly away.

Your hearts were racing; he cupped your face with one hand and fiddled with your dress with the other; you melted into one.

"Tell me you want this," Jungkook insisted in a breathy, aroused voice.

"I want this, my lord," you purred against him, before gently biting into his lower lip. "Teach me everything you know."

Jungkook had no self-control in that moment, feeling like an animal in the wilderness.

He loosened the ties of your dress with an urgent hand, and you felt the cool air caress your skin as the fabric fell open. Your breasts, heavy and full, spilled out of the dress, begging for his attention. Jungkook's eyes locked onto them, his pupils dilated with desire.

His hands wandered down to your hips, gripping the curve of your bottom through the thin fabric of your undergarment. Your skin prickled with goosebumps as he pulled you closer, his mouth still devouring yours. You could feel the heat emanating from him, the tension in his body a testament to the passion that burned between you.

"Are you certain?" he asked once again, his hands working to remove your undergarments.

You simply nodded, too dizzy and aroused to form a sentence.

Your hands wandered over his shirt, playing with the buttons before tugging on it, urging him to take it off, which he did, revealing his strong arms and chest. You kept your hands glued to them while he took off your bodice, revealing your full breasts to him.

Lifting you up and sitting you down on his desk, he immediately massaged your breasts and took one in his mouth, licking and sucking on it, making you moan in pleasure. "I have dreamt of this very moment for so long, Yn."

You ‘hmm’ed in response, grinding your hips against his in search of friction. You felt a big bulge in his pants, moving your own up and down on it, resulting in quiet groans from Jungkook.

"I..." you tried your best to formulate a thought. "I am so... sticky between my legs, my lord; is that normal?"

Jungkook chuckled amidst his arousal, leaning in to plant a short kiss on your lips. "Yes, my love; that is quite a good sign. Do not worry."

You felt comfortable with him; you admitted, "I have the same feeling quite often when I think of you," without realizing the implications.

Jungkook threw his head back in desire, unable to contain his urges to take you right there.

He took your hand in his and led it to his pants.

"Feel it," he urged, his voice simmering with lust as you began to grab his hardness and gently rubbing it. "That is what you do to me, Yn."

You tugged at his pants, and he quickly took them off, first revealing his drawers, which he removed as well.

He could not waste any more time.

As he revealed his large penis, you gasped.

"Do not be afraid, my love," he assured. "I will be very gentle.”

You were seated on the desk, and he was standing before you, his naked parts touching, with gasps and moans filling the entire room.

He positioned himself in front of you, looking into your eyes to ensure you were ready, only to be met with your awaiting gaze.

"What are you going to do now?" you hesitantly asked, hands on his bare arms.

His hands were placed lovingly on your soft waist, soothing you to ensure you were comfortable. "I will enter you now."

You nodded, not fully understanding the idea.

You blamed the mamas who were too ashamed to speak of essential things like that one.

Slowly entering the tip inside you, you gasped from the pain. "It hurts, my lord."

Jungkook stopped for a moment to cup your face, planting a kiss on your lips. "It will take time, but soon enough, you shall find pleasure in it, I promise."

You gazed at him, immediately believing his words, but wondering, "Does it hurt you as well?"

Jungkook laughed at that, slowly starting to thrust gently into you. "No, not at all. It is a very pleasant feeling for me."

His words came out as grunts, which you found incredibly attractive.

"Well, that is certainly unfair," you pouted, but gradually adjusted to the new feeling.

Jungkook agreed with you, saying, "I know," while chuckling.

As you began to get used to his thrusts, you leaned in even closer, urging him to fully enter you and thrust harder.

"You are simply the most beautiful woman I have laid eyes upon," he praised with hushed grunts, to which you cooed.

The fact that your families were outside the four walls of his office, peacefully sleeping, was something long forgotten by both of you, alongside the idea that he was the man who was supposed to be courting your sister.

You chose to forget about the one thing that was printed in your mind for the past months, even if only for a few minutes.

His thrusts began to become stronger, eliciting seductive sounds from both of you. His strategy to make less noise was kissing you almost the entire time.

His big hands roamed your entire body, and your legs wrapped around his hips; you were surprised at your ease—being with him felt not only beautiful but also effortless.

After a few final thrusts, his hips began to stutter, and a foreign sensation started to form in your stomach, causing you to look at him with a helpless expression, to which he answered, "I know, I know, my love; just allow it to happen."

You hesitantly let go, your head tilting back as you felt yourself reach a pinnacle—a feeling of pure bliss.

Jungkook could barely speak understandably, closing his eyes as he savored the last few thrusts before he reached his orgasm, pulling out and coming on a piece of cloth before he could release inside you.

"You did beautifully," he smiled and kissed your forehead lovingly.

You simply smiled back, the shame slowly returning as you put on your dress again.

He engulfed you in a gentle embrace before whispering into your ear, "Go rest now, my love; we shall see what we do tomorrow. Do not worry about anything; I will take care of it. That is a promise."

Somehow, you did not feel comforted by his words, but you reluctantly obliged, ignoring the slight pain in your legs as you walked through the halls of the mansion back to the room you had to temporarily share with your sister, who was already asleep.

You could not sleep that night, too consumed by wondering how and when you became that bad of a person.

___

The following day, you avoided Jungkook as much as you could. You felt ashamed, dirty; you felt like a bad person.

Your uncommonly quiet behavior did not go unnoticed by your mother and your sister; they kept pestering you about it.

But you did not know what to say to them.

Throughout the entire game of pall-mall, you acted out of the ordinary, not playing as well as you normally could.

Nadia and you were playing with Jungkook and four of his siblings, who were all much better players than the two of you.

"It seems you have forgotten the game, sister," Nadia giggled, watching you struggle with the mallet.

You kicked the ball hard in the wrong direction and almost tripped over; if it had not been for the strong hand that held your waist up.

"Be careful," the viscount’s deep voice rang in your ears.

Although you could stand on your own, he continued to hold onto your waist, his lips almost touching your ear. He forgot his surroundings, and so did you, as you locked eyes and shut out everything that was not each other.

It was a sight of pure chemistry, pure love; a blind man could see the feelings sparking between the two of you.

Visions of the prior night swirled in your mind as you leaned into his muscular body, completely in tune with him even in sheer silence.

Until Yoona interrupted you two with a cough, causing you to separate as quickly as possible from each other with more than embarrassed faces.

Jungkook’s siblings awkwardly laughed, and Nadia’s eyes, which you were avoiding, were boring into you penetratingly.

After the game, you went back to your rooms to prepare for lunch.

Strategically dodging your sister as much as possible, you pretended like nothing had happened between the viscount and you, while your insides brewed with fire.

But Nadia was the confrontational type.

"I see the way you look at each other, Yn," she admitted to you, hurt evident in her voice. "I have seen it for a long time, but I thought... you hated him. Had I known you did not, I would have ended the courtship."

"Nini..." you whispered. "I did not want to hurt you. I do not know how I could have been so selfish. You do not know how much I hate myself right now. I did not tell you because I was ashamed of myself... I did not want you to think that I purposely wanted to steal the man you love."

"I am not in love with him!" Nadia exclaimed in response, "I love you! You are my sister, Yn. If you would have told me from the beginning, I would not have been angry with you."

"I am so deeply sorry, Nadia," your face was a tearful mess at that point. "I did not know what to do; I thought... I was sure this would be just a passing infatuation, but... please forgive me, sister."

Your sister’s gentle hands found their way to your tear-stained cheeks. "I understand..."

"Please, I beg of you, do not let this ruin our sisterhood," you sounded pathetic, but you did not care.

You loved a man you were not supposed to love; you did things you were never supposed to do.

"You are my little sister, Yn," even in anger, her voice was soft and assuring. "You always will be... but do give me time to process this."

You nodded, immediately pulling her into a warm, strong embrace, whispering "I love you" to her.

___

You traveled back to London in complete silence, your sister still unsure how to talk to you and your mother, disappointed in the lack of proposals, but still happy with the time spent together.

For a couple of weeks, you did not hear anything from the viscount or his family. You tried to distract yourself with books and art, but nothing filled the emptiness in your heart.

You knew you gave the viscount the impression that you did not wish to speak with him, but you longed to hear or read his words.

One day, your mother entered your room with a pensive look. "Mama, what is it?"

"Yn... I have news, very important ones," she sat down at the edge of your spacious bed and took your hand in hers. "The viscount... he asked for your hand this morning. Your Baba approves, and Nadia does too, my love."

Your heart jumped outside your body for a moment, completely in shock.

You were happy, but you were not at the same time; perhaps the viscount only proposed because he was the gentleman he claimed to be and was merely fulfilling his duty?

"The viscount does not love me, Mama; I know it..." you sniveled, sadness washing over you. "He is simply fulfilling his duties because we..."

Your mother cut you off with an understanding look.

"Yn..." she spoke softly. "It is well; you do not need to tell me what happened between you and the viscount."

You sent a grateful gaze at her.

She always knew the right words to say when you were in distress.

"But, my dear," your mother expressed in an almost hesitant tone. "Whether the viscount wishes to marry you out of duty or out of love... I believe we should accept his proposal."

You were not angry at her idea because you wanted to marry him more than anything else in the world, but you feared he felt forced into proposing.

It was as if your heart had declared war on your mind.

Reluctantly, you nodded.

"I understand," you softly whispered. "Tell Baba to accept his proposal, but I wish to speak with the viscount beforehand."

Immediately after what you said, your mother ordered the maid to send an invitation for tea to the Jeon house.

___

The next day, Jungkook arrived with his mother by his side and an expensive bouquet of flowers in his hand.

"These are for you," he handed them to you, smiling shyly.

You silently thanked him, feeling the awkwardness brew; thankfully, your mother took the viscountess aside and left you and Jungkook enough room for a private conversation.

"I have not heard back about the proposal yet," Jungkook carefully started.

You nodded. "I have my Mama’s and Baba’s approval... Nadia’s too."

Jungkook watched you with attentive eyes, trying to gather what was holding you back from taking him as your husband.

"But I am afraid you are only proposing because of what happened at the country house," you confessed to him, looking down at your lap. "I do not want a marriage that is based solely on duties, Jungkook."

Jungkook looked frustrated, shaking his head.

"Listen to me, Yn," he grabbed your chin gently, locking his eyes with yours. "I love you. I have loved you from the moment we raced each other in that park. I have loved you at every dance, on every walk, every time we've been together, and every time we have been apart. You do not have to accept it, embrace it, or even allow it. Knowing you, you probably will not. But you must know it in your heart. You must feel it because I do. I love you."

You looked away for a second, tears of joy and longing filling your eyes.

While you gathered your words, he continued, "I know I am imperfect, but I will humble myself before you because I cannot imagine my life without you, and that is why I wish to marry you."

At that point, your face was tear-stained all over, returning your gaze to him as you smiled delicately.

"I love you, Jungkook, and I will marry you," you declared. "But do not think there will come a day where you do not vex me."

He now wore a big smile on his face, leaning in to engulf your full lips in a gentle kiss.

"Is that a promise, Yn Ln?" he breathed against your lips.

___

hiiii, i’m back!! i hope u all get my vision of jungkook as the viscount bridgerton because i do. btw, i’m sorry i’m not rlly active on here but i am a college student okay, i am very busy i cannot help it😭😭 i try to write as much as possible but a girl’s gotta have priorities. anyway, i hope everybody who reads this has a nice day💋 (btw, i love ur feedback, ur comments, etc. so pls don’t be shy)

[bluelavendre]

New jimin oneshot yall

BTS MASTERLISTS

Oneshots

💜Kim Namjoon

Strength in the Ranks

💜Kim Seokjin

Through the Years

💜Min Yoongi

Gummy Smile & Forever

💜Jung Hoseok

Encore In Paris

💜Park Jimin

Echoes of Us

Until the Stars Align

💜Kim Taehyung

I miss you, I'm sorry

Sound of Silence

A Starry Birthday Surprise

💜Jeon Jungkook

Villain's Soft Spot (snippet)

In His Shadow

Bounded by Obsession

BTS OT7 SERIES

-Surviving together-

1

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28???

[melancholy-of-nadia]

heart on the window #3 (m) | ksj

title: heart on the window (m) pairing: ksj x reader(f) rating/genre: m (18+) ; smut ; roommates au / streamer/cam boy au / office worker au, childhood rivals to awkward roommates to lovers? au summary: With secrets now revealed in the open, you and Seokjin cross a boundary you two never thought would happen ever before. After this night, you are now trying to figure out how to move forward in this new development in your friendship with him. However this leads to you having more questions about him, his secret lifestyle, and past relationships/hookups. Then, one casually suggestive joke by this man reawakens your competitive nature and rivalry with this man. note: apologies for the delay in getting this chapter out since i've been really busy with my new job. this chapter was 15k words long, and the editing of this was ROUGH. I had come to the conclusion to split it up in half, also so it wouldn't be overwhelming on yall. i tried to avoid this as I wanted this fic to be 5 chapters long, but I couldn't help but want to flesh out the interactions reader has with Seokjin so it became longer than I thought. warnings: mild language, roommate! seokjin, camboy! seokjin deserves its own warning because the vibes are different!, f*ngering, mast*rbation, voyeurism, org*sm, protected s*x, doggy style, s*x toys, fluffy moments, emotional vulnerability, dirty talk, implied adult content streaming (camming), pet names, brat! reader, brat tamer! seokjin drop date: January 20th, 2024, 11:00am pst word count: 8.5k crossposted on ao3 here <- chapter 2 | chapter 4 -> - -

"Then help me, already."

Those words hang in the air, charged and heavy. Jin's eyes widen, his breath hitching.

The flush on his cheeks deepens, spreading down to his neck, and he shifts slightly, as though trying to adjust something—something that's undeniably hardening beneath his loose pajama bottoms.

"O-Okay, fine! I’ll help you," he stammers, rubbing the back of his neck nervously. "But I need you to do something for me first."

You blink at him, heat rushing to your face. "What is it?" you ask cautiously, already dreading whatever is going to come out of his mouth.

He hesitates for only a moment before blurting out, "Play with yourself."

Your jaw drops. "What?"

"You heard me," he says, his voice lower now, more serious. "Use the toy you got there and make yourself come and show it all to me."

Your mind is spinning. "The toy?! S-Seokjin, you’re not being reasonable right now!" you protest, your voice filled with shock and frustration. Teasing you like this feels like the cruelest kind of torture, especially after the spiral of emotions you’ve been through tonight. And for some reason, it feels more embarrassing to use the toy in front of him than your own fingers.

But there’s something about the way he’s looking at you, eyes hooded and lips slightly parted, that sends a thrill through you despite your indignation. This is the Seokjin you know—playful, maddening, and completely impossible.

Someone truly deserving of the title of “childhood rival”.

He leans closer, his voice dipping into that sultry tone you’ve only ever heard on his streams. "You want my help, right? Then show me how badly you need me. I want to see you lose yourself completely. Can you do that for me?"

You swallow hard, your pulse thundering in your ears. You know he’s testing you, pushing you to your limit, and somehow, you can’t bring yourself to back down.

Your breath catches as Seokjin's words settle over you, heavy and weighted with meaning. The challenge in his tone ignites something in you—a mix of defiance and anticipation.

“Fine. But i’ll use my fingers,” you whisper, your voice barely audible. You shift back against the pillows, your heart hammering in your chest. Your hands feel like lead as you tug your shirt up over your stomach, exposing bare skin to the cool air. The fabric gathers just below your breasts, leaving you vulnerable under his gaze.

Seokjin sits at the edge of the bed, his eyes locked onto you with an intensity that makes your pulse race. His lips part slightly, his chest rising and falling in slow, measured breaths. Yet, his hands rest tensely on his thighs, his fingers digging into the fabric of his pants.

“You’re really making me do this,” you mutter, your voice barely above a whisper.

“You’re the one who asked for help,” he replies smoothly, his voice like velvet. “I’m just... motivating you.”

Your fingers move hesitantly at first, brushing the waistband of your shorts before slipping beneath. The heat between your legs is unmistakable, your arousal heightened by his stare. A quiet gasp escapes your lips as your fingers graze over your slick folds.

Seokjin shifts, leaning back just enough for his hand to graze over his own growing arousal. His movements are subtle, but you catch the way his palm presses against himself, his lips twitching at the corner.

"Don’t stop," he murmurs, his voice rougher now. "I want to see everything."

You shudder, your other hand moving up to tug your shirt higher, finally exposing your breasts to the air. Your fingers pinch gently at a nipple, sending a jolt of pleasure through you. The combined sensations of your hands working in tandem leave you trembling, your soft moans filling the room.

Your hand falters slightly, and he notices immediately.

“You’re hesitating,” he says, his tone light but teasing. “Do you need me to guide you, Princess?”

Princess?!

You look at him sharply, your pride flaring. “I don’t need your saving yet.”

He smirks, leaning back slightly. “Oh? Then prove it.”

That’s all the encouragement you need. You close your eyes, shutting out the sight of him, and focus entirely on the building pressure within you with the goal of coming undone. Your movements become more confident and more deliberate. 

His gaze doesn’t leave you, his eyes tracing every movement, every shift of your body. His hand grips himself through his pants now, a soft exhale slipping past his lips. 

Your fingers dip lower, pressing more firmly against your aching core. A whimper escapes you as you circle your clit, your hips bucking into the motion. The pressure builds quickly, spurred on by his intense scrutiny and the quiet groan he lets out as he palms himself.

"That’s it," he says hoarsely, his voice thick with desire. "Don’t hold back. Let me hear how good it feels."

His words spur you on, your movements growing bolder, more deliberate. 

“A-Ah..!”

The pleasure surges, consuming you, until you’re trembling, your release crashing over you with a cry that leaves you gasping.

Three minutes is all it took.

Is it embarrassing it took that short to orgasm? Well, it has been a while since you’ve done this…

For a moment, the room is silent, save for the sound of your heavy breathing. Your body relaxes, sinking into the mattress, and you’re acutely aware of the way Seokjin’s chest heaves, the way his hand still rests over the bulge in his pants, with a slightly darker spot now appearing. His eyes meet yours, filled with admiration and unspoken desire.

You glance at Seokjin, still sitting at the edge of the bed, his dark eyes unwavering as they drink you in.

He hasn’t moved, hasn’t spoken—just watches. Lost in thought. His gaze is molten, his chest rising and falling in measured rhythm. For a fleeting moment, you think he might say something playful, something to break the tension.

You’re about to say something, your voice shaky and uncertain. “S-So what are you—”

Before the words can fully escape, Jin’s gaze flickers briefly to your laptop screen. His eyes widen, and without a word, he gets up suddenly, leaving the room in a hurry. The abruptness of his departure sends a wave of confusion and frustration washing over you.

“H-Hey!” you call after him, your voice tinged with disbelief and hurt. “Why are you leaving?”

Once again, the silence that follows feels deafening, each passing second amplifying the sting of rejection. Your chest tightens as your emotions spiral, the vulnerability of the moment leaving you feeling exposed and betrayed. Did you misread everything? Had you gone too far?

Your mind races, heart pounding as you sit frozen in place, but before you can drown in your thoughts, Jin quickly reappears in the doorway. His chest rises and falls with shallow breaths, his expression now calm yet resolute.

“I’m ending the stream,” he says simply, his voice carrying a quiet determination.

You blink, your breath catching in your throat. “W-What?”

He steps further into the room, his hands curling into fists at his sides as he speaks, each word deliberate. “I forgot I left the stream on pause, so I’m just ending it completely for tonight. No excuses, no coming back later tonight. Because right now, I want enough time to fuck you.”

Your eyes widen as his words sink in, the intensity of his gaze locking you in place. “Holy shit, Jin…”

His lips curve into a soft, almost shy smile, but his eyes remain dark with promise. “You asked for my help, right?” He leans down slightly, his fingers grazing your cheek as his voice lowers to a sultry whisper. “Then let me give you all my attention.”

Oh.

God, why is your heart going crazy over this? It must be the dopamine rush from orgasm or something making you feel this way. Don’t get distracted and waver so easily, Y/N!

“Okay,” You respond shyly as Jin scurries back to his room on the other side of the apartment.

He nearly trips over his own feet as he rushes to his room and towards his desk. His heart is pounding, and not just from the physical effort. The guilt gnaws at him as he pulls up the live stream, his audience still active and buzzing in the chat. The mic clicks on, and he leans into it, his voice soft but apologetic.

“Hey, everyone,” he begins, his usual confident tone replaced with something more subdued. “I’m so sorry to cut this short, but I have important matters to attend to. I really appreciate you all being here tonight, and I promise I’ll make it up to you in the next stream. Thanks for understanding. Take care, okay?”

The disappointment in the chat is instant, messages flooding in:

“Wait, already?!”“Is everything okay, BigTunaMan??”“Hope you’re okay! Take care!”

Jin ends the stream with a quick, guilty glance at the messages still scrolling. He’ll make it up to them later, he decides, but right now, there’s only one thing on his mind.

He bolts back to your room pushing the door open with a soft urgency. You’re now sitting where he left you, still flushed and disheveled, your expression a mixture of confusion and trepidation.

“Did you actually end the live...?” you begin, but the words trail off as he shuts the door behind him and leans against it, chest heaving.

“Yeah, I ended it,” he says simply, his lips quirking into a sheepish smile. “They’re probably going to riot in the comments of the channel, but it’s fine. I told them I had ‘matters to attend to.’”

You raise an eyebrow, trying to suppress a smile. “Matters to attend to? That’s your excuse?”

Jin shrugs, pushing off the door and crossing the room toward you. “What else was I supposed to say? ‘Sorry, everyone, gotta go take care of my horny roommate who’s been watching my streams and needs some help to reach an orgasm’?”

Your cheeks burn, and you groan, burying your face in your hands. “Please don’t remind me how embarrassing this situation is!”

His laughter is soft and warm as he sinks onto the edge of the bed beside you. “It’s not embarrassing,” he says, nudging your shoulder lightly. “Okay, well, maybe a little embarrassing. But only because you’re making it a big deal.”

You peek at him from between your fingers, catching the playful glint in his eyes. “Says the guy who just abandoned his fans mid-stream.”

“Abandoned is a strong word,” he counters, grinning. “I prefer ‘temporarily postponed for the sake of something—or someone—way more important.’”

Again, there it goes. Your heart skipping a beat at the way his gaze softens and the words that come out, the teasing fading into something gentler.

“You’re really just going to leave them hanging for me?” you ask, your voice tinged with incredulity, though the vulnerability in your tone betrays you.

Jin chuckles softly, his fingers brushing yours as he sits closer. “If it means making sure you’re getting your sexual health needs met, I’d even do it again in a heartbeat.”

You stare at him, caught between disbelief and the warmth blooming in your chest. “You’re ridiculous,” you mumble, though there’s no bite to your words.

“And you’re deflecting,” he counters smoothly, his grin softening into something more earnest. “Seriously, are you going to let me help, or do I need to sweet-talk you some more?”

Your breath catches at the way he’s looking at you, the weight of his gaze making it impossible to hide the heat rising in your cheeks. “Help doing what, exactly?” you murmur, your voice quieter now. You know what you want, but damn, it’s hard to say this to this man you’ve known since both of you were kids.

His lips curl into a slow, lopsided smile. “With whatever you need,” he says, his voice dipping into a tone that sends a shiver down your spine. ���But you’ll have to tell me where to start.”

The charged silence that follows is nearly suffocating, your mind spinning with everything unsaid. When you finally meet his eyes, the sincerity you find there is enough to make the last of your hesitation crumble.

You groan, now avoiding his intense gaze as your eyes dart around the room. If you look at him for too long, you’re sure you’ll lose control and jump him right here and now.

Taking a shaky breath, you lift your shirt, exposing your breasts to the cool air, and then shimmy out of your shorts and panties, kicking them to the floor. You spread your legs slightly, the pale glow of moonlight streaming through the blinds casting soft shadows over your skin.

“Two options!” you say, your voice trembling but steady enough to convey your intent. You gesture first to your chest, then lower, where his attention seems naturally drawn. “Here or… here. You pick what you’re in the mood for.”

The moment the words leave your mouth, a wave of disbelief crashes over you. How the hell are you being this bold? You were never this bold with Mingi. Where is your shame? Your self-control? Your sanity?

Gone. Completely out the window. 

Potentially down the drain.

Like your life right now.

Jin’s jaw tightens, and his Adam’s apple bobs as he swallows hard. His eyes flicker between your chest and the apex of your thighs, lingering longer than you expect. “You’re full of surprises tonight,” he murmurs, his voice rough, tinged with amusement, and maybe even hunger.

He takes a step closer, his movements unhurried but deliberate, and the air grows heavier with anticipation. His fingers twitch at his sides, as though he’s restraining himself.

“Here’s the thing,” he says, his lips curling into a wicked smile. “I’m in the mood for both.”

Your breath catches as he kneels on the bed, his hands resting on either side of your thighs, caging you in. His gaze burns into yours, dark and smoldering, before he leans in closer, his breath warm against your neck.

“But if you’re going to let me pick,” he continues, his lips ghosting over your skin, “I think I’ll start…here.”

His hands glide up your sides, thumbs grazing the underside of your breasts, as his lips finally find their mark on the curve of your neck. The sensation is electric, a soft moan slipping past your lips as his mouth works its way lower, his tongue tracing patterns over your collarbone.

“Are you sure you can handle this?” he teases, his voice low, vibrating against your skin.

The words stir something in you, and your hands instinctively reach for him, tangling in his hair and pulling him closer. “Just shut up and keep going,” you manage to whisper, your voice shaky but resolute.

Jin chuckles, the sound vibrating against your chest as he presses a kiss to the swell of your breast. “You’re going to regret saying that,” he murmurs, his tone playful yet dripping with promise, before he takes you exactly where you want to go.

Jin’s lips hover above your breast, his breath warm against your sensitive skin, sending shivers down your spine. His eyes flick up to yours, holding your gaze for a moment that feels like an eternity. The intensity in his expression makes your heart race, and your chest rises and falls with uneven breaths.

“You’re trembling already,” he murmurs, his voice deep and velvety, washing over you like a caress. “Is this what you’ve been thinking about? All those nights when you couldn’t look me in the eye?”

“Jin…” you whisper, your voice barely audible, but it’s enough to spur him on.

He smirks faintly, his lips brushing the curve of your breast before his tongue flicks out to tease your nipple. The sensation makes you gasp, your back arching slightly off the bed. His hand cups your other breast, his thumb circling the sensitive peak with painstaking precision.

“Have you ever been treated gently like this before?” he asks, his voice a murmur against your skin. His words are a mix of curiosity and something more, something deeper that sends heat coursing through your veins.

“No…” you admit, your voice hesitant to speak. It’s true—this kind of tenderness, this deliberate worship of your body, is something you’ve never experienced.

His expression softens, though the fire in his eyes remains. “Good,” he says, his tone firm yet gentle. “Then let me show you how it’s supposed to feel.”

He shifts slightly, bringing his other hand to cradle your breast as his plush soft lips close around your nipple. His tongue moves in slow, deliberate circles, drawing sensations from you that make your toes curl. His free hand trails down your side, his touch featherlight, leaving a trail of goosebumps in its wake.

You can’t suppress the soft whimper that escapes your lips, and his gaze flicks up to meet yours again, his eyes dark and filled with satisfaction. He sucks lightly, his teeth grazing ever so gently, and the combination of sensations makes your head spin.

“F-Fuck,” you manage to gasp, your hands instinctively gripping the sheets beneath you.

His lips leave your skin momentarily, and he smirks, his voice a husky whisper. “You’re so sensitive…so responsive. It’s beautiful.”

He moves to your other breast, lavishing the same attention, his hand kneading gently while his mouth works its magic. Each movement feels intentional, as if he’s savoring every reaction he draws from you.

Your body feels like it’s on fire, every nerve ending alight with sensation. The slow, deliberate way he’s touching you leaves you breathless, and you find yourself sinking deeper into the mattress, utterly at his mercy.

"You’re doing so good," he murmurs against your skin, his voice barely audible but filled with conviction. "Just like a princess."

Your cheeks burn at the pet name, and you stammer, "I-I'm no princess!"

Jin pulls back slightly, his lips curling into a teasing smile, his breath warm against your chest. "Well, you’re about to get fully treated like one."

Before you can even process his words, his hands slide down your sides, gripping your thighs firmly. He spreads them wider, his gaze locked on your center with an intensity that makes your heart pound.

"Huh? A-Ah—"

Your words dissolve into a gasp as Jin lowers himself, pressing a soft kiss to the sensitive skin of your inner thigh before moving closer to your core. The warmth of his breath against you makes you shudder, anticipation building with every passing second.

And then he dives in, his tongue tracing deliberate, languid strokes that make your back arch and a cry escape your lips.

"Jin!" you gasp, your hands flying to grip the sheets as your body reacts to the overwhelming sensation. “W-Wait…”

He hums in response, the vibration sending sparks through your already sensitive nerves. His hands grip your thighs tighter, holding you in place as his tongue works against you with precision, alternating between broad strokes and focused, teasing flicks.

"You taste even better than I imagined," he murmurs against your skin, his voice low and filled with satisfaction.

You can barely form a coherent thought, let alone a reply. All you can do is surrender to the waves of pleasure coursing through you, your body trembling under his touch. His movements are deliberate, almost reverent, as if he’s worshipping every inch of you.

"Jin, I’m going to—" You choke on your words as he sucks gently, his tongue circling your most sensitive spot. The heat pooling low in your belly tightens, and your hands instinctively reach for him, threading through his hair.

"That's it," he whispers against you, his voice laced with encouragement. "Let go for me, princess. Show me how good I make you feel."

The nickname, once teasing, now feels like a brand, sending you hurtling toward the edge. Your body tightens, and with one final, deliberate stroke of his tongue, you cry out, shattering beneath him.

Jin doesn’t stop immediately, guiding you through the waves of your release, his touch gentle yet insistent. When you finally come down, your body limp and trembling, he presses one last kiss to your thigh before looking up at you.

His lips glisten, his expression a mix of pride and tenderness as he climbs back up to meet your gaze. "See?" he says softly, brushing a strand of hair from your face. "Told you I’d treat you like a princess."

"You’re so evil! How the fuck are you so good at this?!" you gasp breathlessly, your chest rising and falling with every rapid inhale. "Is it the streams you do? Research? Experience? Are you addicted to porn?"

Jin smirks, brushing his hair back casually. "Research and some experience," he replies smoothly, leaning closer until his lips are near your ear, "but ask questions later. For now, I'll give you the final course."

Your breath hitches as he hooks his thumbs into the waistband of his pajama bottoms, pushing them down in one fluid motion. Your eyes widen as you finally see him—his big cock, fully hard and even more impressive than you’d imagined from his streams.

"Holy—" The words slip out before you can stop them, your mouth falling open in a mix of shock and awe.

Jin chuckles, a low, deep sound that reverberates through the room. "Is it bigger than you thought?" he teases, his voice dripping with confidence.

You swallow hard, the heat rushing to your cheeks. Despite the overwhelming sight in front of you, you manage to respond stubbornly, crossing your arms over your chest like you’re unaffected. "I-It’s not that big, but–," you say, though the slight quiver in your voice betrays you.

"Oh, really?" he interrupts, raising a brow, his grin widening. He leans in closer, the tip brushing lightly against your thigh, and you feel the heat radiating from him. "Guess I’ll just have to show you exactly how wrong you are."

Jin’s words hang in the air, thick with some unspoken promise. Before you can say anything, the sound of foil tearing fills the quiet room as he opens a condom he brought from his room early. His eyes are all on you, indulging in your presence.

His intensity is magnetic, and you’re completely captivated as he rolls the condom down over his length, every motion precise and deliberate.

“You’re nervous,” he murmurs, his voice low and soothing. “Don’t be. I’ll take care of you.”

You nod, heart hammering in your chest as he moves closer, his warm hands finding your thighs and guiding them apart gently. The weight of his gaze on you is intoxicating, his thumbs stroking soft circles against your skin as he positions himself at your entrance.

"Relax for me," Jin whispers, his lips brushing the curve of your jaw before trailing down to your neck. The tenderness in his voice melts your tension, and you exhale shakily as he presses forward.

The stretch is startling at first, your body adjusting to his size as he sinks into you slowly, inch by inch. Your hands instinctively clutch at his biceps, your nails digging into his skin as he fills you completely.

“You’re doing so good,” he murmurs, his lips grazing your temple. His voice is filled with awe, like he’s savoring every moment. “Just like that, princess. So perfect.”

You shiver at his words, the nickname making your breath hitch. The sensation is overwhelming but quickly gives way to pleasure as Jin begins to move. His hips roll with a steady rhythm, his body pressed flush against yours.

“Jin,” you gasp, your hands gripping his arms tightly. “It feels… incredible.”

He smiles, his lips curving into a mix of pride and affection. Leaning down, he captures your lips in a kiss that’s deep and consuming, his hips never faltering. Each thrust is deliberate, sending jolts of pleasure through your body, leaving you breathless.

“You’re so beautiful like this,” he breathes against your lips, his hands sliding down to cradle your waist, angling you slightly to deepen his strokes. “Taking me so well.”

You arch into him, your body moving in perfect rhythm with his as his pace quickens. The tension in your core tightens with every thrust, the heat between you building to an almost unbearable level.

Suddenly, he pulls back, his movements careful as he withdraws from within you. “Turn over for me,” Jin says, his voice rough with desire.

You hesitate moving,  as you’re comfortable where you are. But you move anyways, your body trembling with anticipation as you roll onto your stomach, then push yourself up onto your hands and knees. The cool air brushes your skin as you glance back at him nervously.

“Like this?” you ask softly, your voice trembling.

“Exactly like that,” he replies, his large hands trailing over the curve of your hips. He grips them firmly, steadying you as he lines himself up again. “You’re breathtaking.”

The first thrust steals your breath, the angle deeper than before, making your fingers claw at the sheets. Jin groans behind you, his voice husky and raw as he sets a steady pace.

“You feel so good,” he rasps, his hands sliding up your sides before one presses between your shoulder blades, encouraging you to arch your back further. “So tight, so perfect. My perfect princess.”

His words send a jolt through you, a mix of pleasure and emotion. You let out a cry, your body responding to every precise movement. Jin’s grip on your hips tightens as his pace increases, each thrust driving you closer to the edge.

“Jin, I’m so close,” you manage to gasp, your voice shaking as the tension coils tightly in your core.

“Let go for me,” he commands, his voice deep and velvety, full of conviction. “I’ve got you, princess. Let me feel it.”

His words are your undoing. You cry out, your body shuddering as your release washes over you in waves. The pleasure is blinding, leaving you trembling as you collapse onto the mattress, your legs weak and your breathing uneven.

Jin follows moments later, his grip on your hips firm as he thrusts into you one final time, groaning as his own climax overtakes him. He pulls out carefully, disposing of the condom before lying down beside you.

Without hesitation, he wraps his arms around you, pulling you into his chest. His lips press soft kisses to your forehead, his voice a soothing balm in the quiet room. “You really are a princess,” he murmurs, his tone warm and affectionate. “And you do deserve to be treated like one.”

A forehead kiss and pillow talk?! Woah, woah, woah.

Is this some kind of post-nut clarity affecting him? 

You’re caught off guard by it completely. It feels a little too intimate. Too personal. Well, maybe you can’t say much because he literally just fucked you missionary and doggy style.

But you’ve never seen Jin be this affectionate before—it’s a bit jarring. 

Maybe he’s like this in his past relationships? Or situationships? Well you don’t know much or anything about that. You haven’t seen him since you were like 10 or 11.

You don’t know if you like this or not, but you’re scared to find out. He's a professional sweet-talker by now, thanks to camming and appealing to his audience, so maybe this is just part of his act while helping you. You try to brush it off and play along. Be the princess to his Mario or whatever.

You lean into his warmth despite your swirling doubts. The exhaustion from the emotional rollercoaster of the night begins to take hold, and your eyes grow heavy. Just as you’re on the verge of slipping into sleep, a thought nags at you.

“Why did you come into my room in the first place?” you mumble groggily.

Jin’s chest rumbles with a soft laugh. “Oh, right. It was to fix a Mario figure I have…”

Your brow furrows as a vague memory stirs. You recall seeing it on his desk in passing, that same little Super Mario figurine you had gifted him during Secret Santa in elementary school.

Back then, you’d been disappointed when you drew his name out of the hat. He was always difficult to please, never straightforward about his feelings. Even when he opened the gift, his silly and stubborn demeanor left you unsure if he liked it at all.

But now, knowing that he’s kept it all this time—and was worried enough about it breaking to interrupt his stream—it strikes a chord in you. It’s endearing, even sweet.

A small smile tugs at your lips, and before sleep fully claims you, you whisper, “You’re such a dork, Jin.”

He chuckles softly, adjusting the blanket around you with gentle care. “Yeah, but just know I’m the best dork you’ll ever meet,” he replies, his voice filled with warmth. His gaze lingers on you for a moment before he adds, “So, was I able to help you?”

You peek up at him through tired eyes, the corner of your lips quirking up despite yourself. “I guess you were able to do the job,” you tease, your voice barely above a whisper.

“I’ll take that as a yes.”

The sunlight filters softly through your blinds, stirring you from a surprisingly deep sleep. You stretch languidly, letting out a small yawn as your mind catches up to the events of the previous night. Your hand instinctively reaches out to the other side of the bed, but all you’re met with is empty sheets.

You sit up, confused, until a rich, buttery aroma wafts into your room. Pancakes?

Curiosity tugs you from the warmth of your blankets, and you pad out of your room toward the kitchen. The sight awaiting you stops you in your tracks: Jin, dressed in a loose white t-shirt and blue plaid pajama bottoms, flipping pancakes in a pan with an almost childlike enthusiasm.

“Good morning!” he greets you brightly, turning his head to flash you an impossibly wide smile. The sight of him so animated and cheerful is almost jarring compared to his usual composed, teasing demeanor.

You blink, trying to reconcile this sunny disposition with the Jin you know. “Uh… good morning?” you reply cautiously, stepping further into the kitchen.

Jin places a perfectly golden pancake onto a growing stack, humming a tune under his breath. “I figured after intruding on you last night, I owed you a proper breakfast,” he says casually, though the playful glint in his eye betrays him.

“Oh, why, thank you…” You cross your arms, leaning against the counter as you watch him work. “You’re surprisingly in a good mood though,” you remark, your tone more curious than accusatory. “What’s with the pep in your step?”

He shrugs, pouring more batter into the pan. “Can’t a guy just be happy?”

You raise an eyebrow. “You? Happy first thing in the morning? That’s new.”

Jin chuckles, setting the spatula down for a moment to turn and face you fully. “What can I say? Last night was… enlightening to say the least,” he says, his voice dipping ever so slightly. “Plus, I like taking care of people I care about.”

Your cheeks warm at his words, and you shift your weight, pretending to focus on the stack of pancakes. But instead of letting the moment pass, a question burns on your tongue, one you’ve been dying to ask since last night.

“Is it fine if I ask you a question?” you venture, glancing up at him hesitantly.

Jin doesn’t miss a beat, flipping the last pancake with practiced ease. “Go for it.”

You take a breath, crossing your arms as if to brace yourself. “How did you... start doing this camboy thing?”

His hands still for a moment, and he sets the spatula down carefully before turning to face you. “You really want to know?”

“Well, yeah!” you reply quickly, gesturing vaguely. “I mean, I would have never expected you to do and be into this kind of thing... let alone be good at, you know, sex.” The last words come out as an embarrassed mumble, and you immediately wish you could take them back.

Jin’s ears turn a deep shade of red, his confident demeanor faltering slightly. “You think I’m good at sex?” he teases, though his voice cracks just a little, betraying his flustered state.

You groan, covering your face with both hands. “That’s not the point! Answer the question, Seokjin.”

He laughs softly, the sound warm and genuine, and it helps ease some of your own tension. “Alright, alright,” he says, leaning against the counter with his arms crossed. “It started as a joke, actually. Do you remember Yoongi Min? He was another Korean kid from the class next door in grade school.”

The name doesn’t really ring a bell, but you do recall a face of a boy who has cat-like features and would talk to him occasionally, being silly and all. “I honestly don’t remember.”

“Well, even after I moved away, I managed to stay friends with him and we ended up going to the same college.”

“I see,” you murmur.

“And a few months back, I invited him over and we got drunk. He knows about my gaming streams, but he told me, ‘You know the groans you make while playing rage bait games sound like moans? People would pay a lot of money for that. You should do porn.’”

“That’s insane!?” you exclaim, your eyes wide in disbelief.

Jin chuckles at your reaction. “Yeah, it’s crazy. But somehow, he convinced me to start doing camboy streams. I thought it’d be funny, so I did. But then... people started watching. Like, a lot of people.”

You lower your hands slightly, peeking at him as he talks. “So, it just... snowballed from there?”

He nods, a grin tugging at the corner of his lips. “Pretty much. At first, it was all a joke, but then I realized there was a real market for... well, more intimate stuff. I did my research, figured out what people liked, and I guess I just got good at it.”

You tilt your head, studying him. “Did it ever feel weird? Or wrong?”

Jin’s expression softens, and he shakes his head. “Not really. I mean, I don’t do anything I’m not comfortable with and my face is hidden. It’s given me a lot of confidence too, honestly. Knowing people like what I put out there? It’s kind of empowering.”

You chew on your bottom lip, processing his words. “I guess that makes sense,” you say quietly. “I just... it’s still so surreal, knowing you of all people do this.”

He smirks, reaching over to ruffle your hair. “Life’s full of surprises, princess. Besides, you can’t say you didn’t enjoy the results of my ‘research.’”

Your face burns, and you swat his hand away. “Don’t push your luck, Seokjin.”

He laughs, returning to the stove to plate the pancakes. “Fair enough. Now sit down before your breakfast gets cold.”

You and Jin sit across from each other at the small dining table, the smell of freshly made pancakes still lingering in the air. You’re halfway through your second one, drizzling extra syrup onto the fluffy stack as Jin sips his coffee. His cheerful demeanor this morning is infectious, and you find yourself smiling more than you’d expected. The conversation drifts to other trivial topics—memories from high school, your shared disdain for the overly competitive campus trivia nights, and even a brief debate over the best Mario Kart track. It’s light, easy, and comfortable, and for a moment, you almost forget the weight of everything that happened between you two last night.

Jin leans back against the counter, finishing the last of his coffee before setting the mug in the sink. “Anyway, I should head out. I’m meeting Yoongi at the cafe to get some work done.”

You nod, masking the flicker of disappointment that he’s leaving. “Oh, right. You said he works at a music label?”

“Yeah, he’s a producer there. He’s been helping me figure out some... creative stuff on the side,” Jin says vaguely, grabbing his bag. “I’ll be back in a few hours. Don’t burn the place down while I’m gone.”

“Very funny,” you mutter, rolling your eyes as he heads toward the door. “Tell this Yoongi I said hi, even if I don’t remember him.”

Jin smirks. “Will do, princess.” With that, he’s gone, leaving you alone with your thoughts.

The afternoon stretches before you, and you attempt to focus on applying for jobs, but your mind betrays you. Every time you start to type out a cover letter or tweak your resume, your memories wander back to last night.

The way Jin’s hands felt, the way he touched you like you were something precious—it’s impossible to shake. You keep replaying it in your head, trying to lock the details into your memory as if freezing the moment will keep it from fading.

It was the best sex you’ve ever had, and you can’t deny it. Mingi, your ex, couldn’t hold a candle to whatever magical touch Jin seems to possess. And yet, doubt nags at you.

This was a one-time thing, you tell yourself, even as a pang of longing blooms in your chest. He probably only did it out of pity—he saw how lonely you were, how desperate. There’s no way it meant anything to him. Not when he does this as part of his side job.

The thought twists uncomfortably in your stomach. Jin’s side gig as a camboy, while surprising, also raises questions you can’t ignore. Does he...ever do this with other people? You've seen posts on Twitter from OnlyFans creators teasing "special guests" in their content. Is Jin the type to collaborate?

Your curiosity itches at you, relentless and demanding. You open your laptop and navigate to the site he uses. His page is easy enough to find again, but as you scroll, your questions only multiply. There are videos locked behind a subscription paywall, tantalizing thumbnails blurred just enough to leave you guessing.

You hesitate, biting your lip. Spending money you don’t have to satisfy your curiosity feels reckless, but the mystery gnaws at you. Does he do this with others? Was last night just practice for his real work?

But you can’t bring yourself to click. Not yet, at least. With a frustrated sigh, you slam your laptop shut and bury your face in your hands.

Why do you even care? Last night was just a one night type of thing. You don’t see yourself with Seokjin anyways.

And yet…

Overthinking is what got in the way of your last relationship until it all came crashing down.

Early in the evening, Jin returns from his outing and sees you folding your laundry in the living room. The smell of Korean soybean paste soup fills the room, making his expression soften when he notices your prepared meal.

“You made dinner?” he asks, surprised.

He sets his bag down by the couch and moves to join you.

You shrug, trying to act casual as you fold another shirt. “Thought it’d be a nice way to say thanks. You know...for everything.” 

You don’t know how to make many Korean foods, but this one is one you learned how to make from Yunjin in college. 

His lips twitch into a small smile. “Well, thanks. It smells amazing.”

You glance at him as he ladles a bowl of soup, taking a seat and diving in eagerly. “How was your meet-up with Yoongi?”

“Not bad,” he says between bites. “I told him that you found out my secret.”

You freeze, your eyes widening. “Y-You what?”

“N-Not how I found you flicking your bean and how we had sex!” he adds hastily, waving his spoon.

Your shoulders slump in relief, but something about his nonchalant tone makes your cheeks burn all over again.

Still, this feels like the perfect opening for what’s been nagging at your thoughts all afternoon. You clear your throat, hesitating only briefly before asking, “Wait, Jin, there’s something I’m curious about.”

“Go for it.”

You hesitate, your hands pausing mid-fold. “Since you do solo cam work...I was wondering if you’ve ever done collaborations with other people before. Like, working with camgirls, by any chance?”

Jin raises an eyebrow, leaning back in his chair. “Why? Are you curious to know about my sex life?”

“H-Hey! It’s not that at all!” you stammer, quickly looking away. “It’s just...” How do you say this without sounding weird—or jealous? You fumble for words, finally settling on, “You’re so good at what you do, so I was wondering...where you got your experience from.”

A flicker of something crosses Jin’s face—amusement, maybe, or pride. He sets his spoon down, tilting his head thoughtfully. “Well, I actually was dating someone a few months before I started my gaming streaming.”

“You were?”

“Yeah,” he says, his tone softening. “I met her at my first job, working at an entertainment agency. We dated for a few years, but we ended it mutually. It wasn’t anything dramatic—just... one of those things, you know?”

You nod slowly, absorbing this new information. “So...did she teach you some of this stuff?”

He chuckles, a low, warm sound. “Some of it. But a lot of what I know now came after we broke up. Research, self-practice...some trial and error. I guess it just stuck.”

Your cheeks flush, your mind inadvertently wandering back to last night. You still can’t quite wrap your head around how someone can be that good. “I see.”

Jin’s gaze lingers on you for a moment before he speaks up again, clearly sensing your lingering curiosity.

“So, your answer to the question about you doing collaborations with camgirls is...?” you press, your voice tinged with both curiosity and hesitation.

He leans back in his chair, arms crossing over his chest. “I haven’t.”

“Really?!”

“Yeah,” he says with a casual shrug. “I mean, I’m a pretty confident guy, and I think I’m handsome, but doing collabs with random or established camgirls or OnlyFans girls makes me nervous.”

You blink at his admission, letting out a small breath you didn’t realize you were holding. It almost feels like a sigh of relief. Wait—why are you relieved?

Jin notices, his lips quirking into a teasing smile. “Why did you ask? Did you want to appear in a collab with me on Chaturbate?”

“Huh?” Your face heats up instantly. 

Woah, woah, woah. Wait, where is this coming from?!

“You’re not a camgirl by any means,” he continues, his tone softer now. “But after last night, it got me...thinking.” His voice dips into something shyer, almost uncertain, as he rubs the back of his neck.

Your stomach flips at his words, though you can’t tell if it’s from embarrassment or something else entirely. “Thinking about what?” you manage, your voice barely above a whisper.

Jin hesitates, clearly bracing himself. “Thinking about how good we were together. And...maybe how it’d feel to do that again. With you.”

His words hang in the air, and for a moment, you’re both silent. In his head, he’s already convinced you’re going to shut this out and call him a pervert, but you don’t.

“So you want to have sex…or do acts in front of the camera… for your BigTunaMan channel and your fans?” you ask, your voice slower, more deliberate, letting the question hang heavily in the air.

If you were any other girl, you’d probably be storming out of the room right now, completely scandalized. But instead, there’s a strange buzz low in your stomach, a heat you don’t entirely want to admit. Why are you into this?

Your heart pounds in your chest as you search Jin’s face for his reaction. He’s caught off guard, sure, but there’s a flicker in his expression—something unsure, something vulnerable, but undeniably intrigued.

The thought rolls over in your mind: What if you did this? What if you let yourself step into his world? There’s an allure to it, a kind of rebellious excitement. The risk, the intimacy, the sheer wildness of the idea—it pulls at you, even if you don’t fully understand why. And then there’s Jin. If this is an excuse to relive last night’s intensity, to feel his touch again, to share that connection—hell, maybe you’d risk more than you should.

The words leave your mouth before you can second-guess them. “Do I get paid?”

“Huh?!” Jin’s voice cracks, his shock palpable as he straightens, staring at you like you’ve grown a second head.

You tilt your head, feigning nonchalance, even as your pulse thunders in your ears. “If I help you with your little channel,” you say slowly, almost teasingly, “will you pay me? I mean, it’d be an easy job in the meantime until I find an actual one and it’ll provide some money for me. And as long as I’m not showing my face, there’s no real risk, right?”

His face flushes deep red, and he stammers, “H-Hold on! I wasn’t actually serious about it, I was just—” He pauses, his hands gesturing aimlessly as if trying to find the right words. “Why are you agreeing to this so quickly?!”

You shrug, leaning back against the chair  with a smirk you’re barely holding back. “I mean, for starters, it sounds kinda fun.”

“Fun?!” he repeats, incredulous.

“Yeah,” you say simply, watching the color climb his neck. “I’ll get paid—maybe—still waiting for you to confirm that,” you add, arching a brow. “And…I’ll also finally forget about my loser ex-boyfriend.”

His jaw drops slightly, and he stares at you like you’ve just flipped his world upside down. You don’t miss the way his eyes narrow briefly, processing your words. Something shifts in his expression—a flicker of something darker, hungrier.

“You’re really serious about this, aren’t you?” he asks, his voice quieter now, but with a sharp edge of disbelief.

You hold his gaze, trying not to let the tension unravel you. “Depends,” you say softly, almost a challenge. “Are you?”

The silence between you crackles with electricity. You swear you can hear your heartbeat in the quiet. Jin’s lips part, and his tongue darts out briefly to wet them, a nervous tell that makes your stomach flip.

“I mean,” he finally starts, his voice almost hesitant, “I was half-joking, but now you’re making this sound real.”

You let out a soft laugh, though your voice trembles slightly. “Well, if it did become real, at least you know I’m down.”

His mouth opens slightly, like he wants to say something but doesn’t know where to start. The vulnerability on his face makes your heart skip a beat. Jin, usually so smooth, so confident, looks completely caught off guard.

“You’re not just doing this to distract yourself from your ex, are you?” he asks after a moment, his voice softer, more serious.

You pause, the weight of his question settling between you. “Maybe a little,” you admit honestly. “But also…because I trust you, Jin.”

His gaze softens further, his brows knitting together like he’s trying to make sense of you.

“And,” you continue, your voice dropping, “if last night was any indication, I know we’d kill it together. I will also not catch feelings for my own rival.”

His breath catches, and you don’t miss the way his fingers curl slightly against his thighs, as if restraining himself.

“You’re dangerous, you know that?” he sighs finally, his voice low and rough.

You smirk, leaning forward slightly, closing the space between you. “Only when I want to be.”

Jin shakes his head, a soft, disbelieving laugh escaping him. 

You feel like you’ve won in this teasing war, until suddenly, his expression changes.

His eyes narrow slightly, a smirk tugging at the corners of his lips. It’s a familiar look, one that pulls at an old, buried memory—one of him standing across from you in the schoolyard, arms crossed, with that same cocky grin plastered on his face. Back then, he was always looking for ways to one-up you, always trying to prove he was better, faster, smarter. Jin loved a challenge, and you were his favorite target.

But now? Now, that grin feels different. It feels heavier, laced with something sharper, something more daring.

“Then let’s do it,” he says, his voice low and filled with conviction.

Your stomach flips, a mix of excitement and nerves tumbling inside you. You search his face, trying to gauge if he’s joking or if he’s actually serious this time. The intensity in his gaze tells you everything you need to know.

“Wait, you’re not messing with me?” you ask, your voice coming out a little smaller than you’d like.

Jin leans forward, his elbows resting on his knees, closing the distance between you. His smirk softens into something more genuine, but his eyes—dark and steady—don’t waver. “You think I’d back down from a challenge? Come on, you should know me better than that by now.”

Your breath hitches. The air between you is thick, charged with a tension that feels impossible to ignore.

“You’re really serious about this,” you say softly, more a statement than a question.

“Why wouldn’t I be?” he counters smoothly, tilting his head slightly. “You threw it out there, and I’m not one to half-ass things. If we’re doing this, we’re doing it right.”

The confidence in his tone sends a shiver down your spine. You swallow hard, your throat suddenly dry.

“Okay,” you say, trying to match his energy, though your voice wavers just slightly. “But just so we’re clear—this is strictly business. No funny business.”

You refuse to catch feelings for him, so putting it out there now that this is just a fun sex work type of job with an old friend is the boundary you’re making.

Jin lets out a sharp laugh, leaning back against the couch. “Funny business? Do you even hear yourself?” He grins, his teeth flashing. “You’re the one who just volunteered to do this. If anything, I should be worried about you crossing the line.”

Excuse you?!

“Me?!” you sputter, heat rushing to your cheeks. “You’re the professional here!”

“Exactly,” he says, his voice dripping with smugness. “Which means I know how to keep it professional. You, on the other hand…” He trails off, his grin widening as your blush deepens. 

You huff, crossing your arms over your chest. “Fine. Whatever. Just tell me when we’re starting so I can be prepared.”

Jin leans forward again, his smirk softening into something more genuine. “Tomorrow night,” he says simply.

“Tomorrow night?!”

“What? You said you wanted to do this. No point in waiting.”

You can’t argue with that. He clocked you right there.

Your head spins at the thought, but the look in Jin’s eyes grounds you. This is happening. Whether you’re ready or not, you’ve officially entered his world. Oh, fuck.

-

-

-

a/n: it's been a month since i updated the series with chapter 2... once again, totally apologize for the delay. i really thought i'd have more time, which during christmas time, i kind of did (which is why i wrote ch3 all throughout that time). But once the new year started, my manager had me like a pack mule and completing random heavy loaded tasks, so the process of revising and editing the 15k words i original wrote for the chapter became... impossible. i tend to hate splitting chapters unless things feel to jarring of a transition within one chapter that it would make sense for it to become a whole other chapter. But now considering the many shitty tasks I may get in the near future as well as to not overload you with a load of shit going on in one chapter... it made sense to just split it off. Ch 4 (which is the 2nd half of this chapter) will be release in 2 weeks confirmed! i'll finish doing some edits for that and i'll also start on ch 5. This series will end with chapter 6 for sure! i would like to move on from this fic and get some of my other ones ready and cooked up!

➸ let me know what you think OR join the taglist for future works! ➸ check out my masterlist for other fics I have made

[laurenluvss]

Jimin with orange hair has it's own fandom

[nataliamin]

🦙

[kookiesdayum]

He's beautiful as a dream ☆

Kim Taehyung.

[btssoul7]

Kim Seokjin 💜

[yooboobies]

2024 with bangtan - thank you for not leaving us alone 💜

{cr. 0613data}

[namchyoon]

jin yeeting that bouquet 😭

[girlatmirror]

does he know? jjk

‘she told you she’s celibate, she told me i could nail her shit’. in which your ex comes back to town, but you are in a new relationship.

ex bf! jungkook x reader

warnings: (kinda??) cheating, there’s some angsty themes (but not rlly idk), mentions of alcohol consumption, yn is a little mean sometimes (but she’s so real), yn is the president of #ihatemybf nation, unprotected, penetrative sex (be safe), ass eating (yup, jk is a munch thru n thru), idk what else

___

Jungkook and your brother, Zane, were always attached at the hip as you grew up in the same neighborhood. Your house was across from the Jeons' house, and ever since you could remember, you had a crush on Jungkook. Jungkook, the boy who stole your heart the moment he came over to play soccer with your brother and accidentally kicked the ball against your head at the tender age of 10, then apologized with a warm hug. You were eight when that happened, but you knew everything. You knew you wanted to marry that boy, and you knew what you felt was real. What you did not know was that the same boy would steal your heart years later and take it with him to Singapore, leaving you stranded.

Your love story started when you began attending college, the same one that Jungkook attended; surprisingly, it wasn’t the same as Zane’s. To Jungkook, that meant he could make a move on you without the awkwardness of your brother and your parents around. After years of waiting for the right time, Jungkook took the chance when Zane told him you were unsure about where to apply to major in psychology. Of course, he recommended that you apply to his school, which, thankfully, had an amazing psychology program. You took his advice and started attending the same university.

Jungkook became your bodyguard, even though he was a computer science major in his junior year, guiding you everywhere and protecting you from any harm, basically never leaving your side. At first, he claimed it was an oath to protect his buddy’s little sister, but at one point, he finally gathered the courage to profess his love for you and asked you out; of course, you agreed, and that’s where your love story began. That’s where a year filled with love, princess treatment, and pampering started. Your relationship remained strong even after he graduated; you continued going on dates, making time for each other daily, and being completely and utterly in love.

Until he received an offer to become a CFO of a large Microsoft company in Singapore, he accepted the offer despite your objections.

___

(a year and a half ago)

“Jungkook, baby, I’m here!” you shouted as you entered his upscale apartment with your spare key, which he had given you the moment he bought the apartment. “Sorry, I’m a little early; I was bored and by myself.”

Jungkook was taking a shower, smiling as his heart warmed at the sound of your voice. “That’s okay, baby. Come join me.”

“No, I already showered before I came here, but you enjoy!” you exclaimed with a giggle, looking for something to occupy yourself until he got out of the shower.

His bedroom was spacious and very neat; Jungkook was a clean person, a quality you cherished about him a lot.

You were bored, trying to find something to entertain yourself with until he got out of the shower when you found something that made your heart race.

On the nightstand, under a book he was currently reading, were two plane tickets. You quickly grabbed one and thoroughly read what was written on it.

* Name: Jungkook Jeon

* Date of Flight: January 15, 2021

* Flight Number: SQ 25

* Airline: Singapore Airlines

* Departure:

* Airport: John F. Kennedy International Airport (JFK), New York, USA

* Time: 10:00 AM (EST)

* Arrival:

* Airport: Singapore Changi Airport (SIN), Singapore

* Time: January 16, 2021, 5:00 PM (SGT)

Class: Business

January 15 was just three weeks away. Jungkook hadn’t said a word about his trip to you. He mentioned the business opportunity he received in Singapore once, but you quickly shut down any further talk about it, completely against the idea of him leaving. He hadn’t talked about it since.

Your heart stopped for a millisecond, shock taking over your body. With shaky hands, you quickly grabbed the other ticket; it was the same flight but for a different passenger.

Your name was written on it.

Just as you tried to compose yourself, you heard a click from the bathroom door; Jungkook had finished his shower. You quickly put the tickets back where you found them. He entered the bedroom with a big smile, a towel hugging his lower body, strong arms and defined abs on display.

“Hey, gorgeous,” he leaned over your frozen body and planted a kiss on your lips before noticing the tenseness in your posture. “Hey…what’s wrong, my angel?”

“What’s wrong?” You let out a humorless laugh. “What’s wrong??”

Jungkook stood in front of you, confused and nervous, still half-naked in just a towel.

You grabbed the tickets and faced him. The color drained from his face.

“Baby, I was gonna tell you about it,” he tried to explain, but your harsh expression didn’t soften.

“When? The day you’re supposed to leave?” you said sarcastically. “Oh wait, I’m sorry, the day we are supposed to leave?”

“Yn…” the voice you usually loved suddenly angered you.

“No! Just no! How could you do that?! I told you, I don’t want this!!” Angry tears started forming in your eyes. “You can’t just make a huge decision like this without telling me!”

“I know it wasn’t a good move, baby, but this is a huge opportunity for me; you have to understand,” he tried to touch your waist, but you pushed his hands away.

“You’re joking, right?” you exclaimed, your hand in your hair as you chaotically walked around with the plane tickets in your hand before stopping. “It’s not like I don’t understand; I do! But I don’t understand how you can just decide something so big for both of us and assume I’m going to go along with it!!”

The tension between you and him could be cut with a knife, your words throwing flames of anger at him.

“Yn, if you would just listen to me for a second,” Jungkook’s voice was steady, but there was a hint of desperation. “I want you to come with me; you can continue your studies there, and we’ll get married. We can come back for every holiday and every vacation I get; it’s gonna be good. We’ll be fine.”

“And you haven’t once stopped to think about what I want? If I want to leave everything behind and move with you to Singapore, only to come back on HOLIDAYS?? Jungkook, my family is here; damn it, your whole family is here. Did you not think this through?” you yelled at him, pushing your fingers against his chest. “And what’s wrong with your current job? It pays well; it’s here! There’s nothing wrong with it.”

“I just graduated from college last year! Do you know how often I could get an opportunity like this? Probably never, and let’s be honest, nobody’s getting any younger, so I’m going to take this job!” he exclaimed, but then his voice softened again. “I can provide for us with this position, Yn; I’m going to be a millionaire my first year. This is what I dreamed of ever since I started college: to get a good job and be set for life, not just for myself, but for my future wife as well, for you.”

“Well, I guess your future wife’s a very lucky woman then, but I’m sorry, Jungkook,” you took a deep breath, tears still brimming in your eyes. “It’s not going to be me.”

Jungkook got on his knees, his head touching your leg as he begged. “Don’t say that, Yn, please don’t.”

“I’m sorry; I just cannot do this. Not right now.” You left the bedroom hastily, Jungkook immediately following you, grabbing your arm. “Let me go, please.”

“No! I’m not going to let you go!” he snapped. “You can’t just give up on us this easily, Yn. We have one fight, and you’re ready to leave? What the fuck!?”

“I’m sorry; I don’t even think this is a fight! This is you disrespecting me, my freedom, my opinion, and stepping all over my life like it’s yours to control!” you argued, cheeks flushed from overwhelming anger. “I am not your property! You can’t just control things in my life like you’re in charge of it, okay?! I won’t go to Singapore with you. Goodbye.”

As you moved to the door, he stepped in front of you, his body towering over yours. “You didn’t even think about it, Yn. Singapore is a great place; if you transfer to a school there, you’ll still get a very good education. The quality of life is amazing; the house I bought for us is huge. You’ll have enough space for yourself, and there’s even a library, baby; you’ve always wanted a library in your house. I found you a school with an amazing psychology program near our house and my work; you don’t need to think about money at all; I’ll pay for everything. I’ll get you whatever you want, baby; just come with me.”

“Our house??” You asked in disbelief. “Did you just completely lose it? You didn’t ask me if I want to come with you, and you already bought me a ticket and a house?”

It was evident that Jungkook’s patience was wearing thin as he jabbed his cheek with his tongue. “I’m sorry that I want to move forward with our relationship, Yn. I thought we talked about this: we want to get married, get a house together… have kids. What’s suddenly so wrong with that?”

“You’re right; we did talk about these things, but for later and for here! After I graduate, not when you suddenly decide you’re ready, Jungkook,” you explained, your voice a little less harsh than before. “A relationship means working together as a team. It doesn’t mean you get to make life-altering decisions behind my back.”

“So, what does this mean now?” he inquired, his heart pumping with fear.

“I don’t know; I don’t know,” you fidgeted with your hair intensely, eyes shut, clearly unsure of how to proceed. “I just really don’t want to see you right now.”

And that was the last time you saw Jungkook. You didn’t attend the farewell party your brother threw for him, nor did you say goodbye on the day he left. You successfully fought all the urges to reply to his messages or call him back, which led to an empty feeling in your heart.

You were not ready to forgive him.

At one point, you unfollowed him on all social media, muted his number, and refused to look at the pictures and messages he sent you from Singapore; you simply couldn’t.

Deciding to focus solely on college, a little over a year after Jungkook left, you graduated with honors. During the time you learned to navigate life without the love of it, you also learned to be happy within it. You cut off any thread that led you back to the feelings you had for Jungkook.

Eventually, you started living without the aching emptiness in your heart again, yet there was always something missing. You always feared you knew what – or who – it was.

___

You didn’t really know how to describe your current state.

Now 23, you had graduated college, had a steady job, and were in a relationship that was going well. From the outside, it seemed your life was perfect; there was nothing more you could possibly wish for.

You were content with where you were, but there was always something missing. Something indescribable that you subconsciously searched for.

Work was your way of distracting yourself from feeling like that, avoiding confronting your feelings at all costs, which was ironic, considering you studied psychology.

You were working on a report on your day off when Eric, your boyfriend of eight months, called your phone. You couldn’t help but sigh, yet you picked up reluctantly. “Hey.”

“Hi, baby! How is my superstar doing today?” Eric’s cheery voice spoke. “I miss you, and I thought since it’s your day off, we could go get bagels and coffee. I’ll pick you right up!”

Bagels and coffee... you were sick of getting bagels and coffee with Eric. You couldn’t remember the last time he planned something new or exciting for you.

“I’m sorry, Eric, I can’t,” you said in a distant voice. “I’m working on a report, and I have to finish this one... but we could do this another time, right? I mean, there’s always bagels and coffee.”

Eric felt uneasy with the idea that you felt so comfortable not seeing him for weeks and not even checking up on him; he was always the one to call you. If it were up to you, he wouldn’t know where you were half the time.

“Everything okay, babe?” Eric asked. “You want me to come over, cook you something? Give you a massage? Help you with your research?”

‘No, god, no,’ a voice in your subconscious mind said.

“No, it’s fine,” you reassured him, still focusing on the MacBook in front of you instead of your boyfriend. “We’ll just see each other sometime this week, alright? I’ll let you know when I’m free.”

This conversation summed up your relationship with Eric.

He was a sweet, respectful guy who worshipped the ground you walked on, seemingly always a step ahead of you in the relationship. He was already talking about your future together while you were unsure of spending a full weekend with him alone.

It freaked you out. You had only been in one relationship before, but with Jungkook, everything seemed to fall into place: both completely and utterly in love with each other, (almost) always on the same page, never wanting to leave each other’s sides, no subconscious voices in your mind or feelings in your gut telling you something was wrong; just pure excitement and joy.

You told yourself it was you growing up, becoming a ‘real adult,’ but the more you told yourself that, the more you recognized it was a lie.

At least your relationship with Eric gave you one thing you were looking for: peace.

___

Jungkook was back in town after exactly one year and seven months.

It was a small town; people talked and gossiped about everything and everyone, but that’s not how you should have found out about it, given that your brother was the one who picked him up from the airport.

It irritated you that your brother thought you were too fragile to let you know that his best friend, your ex, was coming back to town.

He didn’t know exactly what happened between you and Jungkook; neither of you went into the details of your breakup. He only knew how much love there was between you and that you weren’t willing to talk about Jungkook or hear his name during the initial months after the breakup.

He assumed it was a bad one.

You decided to call him just to see if he would mention anything about Jungkook being back.

“Hey, sis, how’s it going?” your brother answered after a few rings.

“Hi, Zane,” you bit back any snappiness. “I’m doing well. Where are you?”

He hesitated for a few moments, then you heard his footsteps, obviously walking away from whatever scene he was in before. “Just out with some friends…”

You loved how much of a bad liar your brother was.

“Who?” your curiosity was palpable.

“Damn, why do you care so much?”

“I don’t know, Zane; maybe because I heard from some girls at the nail salon that you picked Jungkook up from the airport two days ago,” you said, dumbfounded. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

He sighed into the phone, tsk’ing lightly. “I’m sorry, Yn; I just didn’t know how you were gonna react, you know?”

“Oh my god, I am not a baby! I can handle it,” you declared. “So what if Jungkook is back? What am I gonna do now? It literally changes nothing about my life. You could throw him a party and invite Bella Hadid for all I care.”

Truthfully, Jungkook being back in your orbit did mean something to you. Your first love was back where he belonged after long months without this place seeing him; it almost made you emotional to imagine him back in his childhood home, back in his first apartment after graduation, and back with your brother playing basketball in the yard and…

“Actually, I am,” your brother hesitantly revealed.

“You’re throwing him a party and inviting Bella Hadid??” You only realized how ridiculous that sentence sounded after it came out of your mouth.

“No, just throwing him a welcome back party,” he chuckled a little. “You can come if you want! But only if you want; like, don’t feel pressured to be there. If you don’t come, I’ll totally understand–”

“I’ll be there!” you interrupted your brother’s rambling, who was nervous because he knew what you turned into when you were mad. “And Eric will also be there.”

“Eric?” Confused, he asked, as if he didn’t remember where he heard that name before. “Oh, yeah, your new boyfriend. Yeah, sure, take him with you.”

Even though Zane truly felt it wasn’t a good idea for your current boyfriend and Jungkook to be in the same room, he was inclined to agree with you.

You were going to attend Jungkook’s welcome back party with Eric, and you were going to look absolutely beautiful.

---

After visiting every boutique in New York with your girlfriends to find the perfect dress for your brother’s party, you finally found it and called Eric last minute to inform him that he would be your plus one for this party.

The dress you picked out was a gorgeous red number with a flattering off-the-shoulder cut and delicate lace accents, striking the perfect balance between sexy and classy, accentuating your curvy silhouette; you aimed to impress.

Eric wasn’t aware that Jungkook was your ex; he only knew that the party was for your brother’s best friend who had returned from overseas. He didn’t care whose party it was; he just thanked God that you finally called him and let him see you.

Your girlfriends knew you were indulging in self-destructive behavior by going to a party solely for your ex-boyfriend after not seeing him for almost two years, but they also knew nothing they would say could stop you, and they seemed to think you deserved closure. All of them suspected that you were still hung up on Jungkook, but none dared to speak of it until you decided to, which you hadn’t.

As you arrived at the bar your brother rented, hand in hand with Eric, his friend Marcus was the first to greet you with a big grin, evidently already too drunk for his own good.

“Hey, Marcus, you know where Zane is?” you asked, only to receive a drunkenly slurred ‘nah, but probably in the back somewhere’ as an answer.

While you walked into the place, you couldn’t help but silently praise your brother’s dedication; the venue looked good, nicely decorated with a huge sign that said ‘Welcome Back, Jungkook’ on it.

The crowd was enormous, making you almost trip in your high heels, but thankfully, you caught yourself on Eric’s arm.

“This will be the first time I meet your brother. I can’t wait!” Somehow through the loud noise, Eric still managed to be audible. “It’s about time, you know? I mean, you’ve met my entire family; I was wondering when I’d get to meet yours.”

“Yeah,” you sent a smile that didn’t quite reach your eyes his way and walked forward, until you finally saw a glimpse of Zane, seemingly engaged in an animated conversation. “He’s there!”

With gathered confidence, you gripped Eric’s hand and walked over to Zane; even though your eyes didn’t see him yet, you knew that if Zane was there, Jungkook couldn’t be far.

“Zane!” you called out to grab his attention, but the music was too loud and he was too engaged in the conversation to hear you, so you approached him closer, gripping Eric’s hand like your life depended on it.

When Zane finally saw you, he waved at you, excitedly signaling you to come closer, so you did. But there was no sign of Jungkook yet.

“Yn!!” he shouted, having indulged in some drinks himself. “Hey! Come here; let me get you a drink.”

He didn’t even spare Eric a glance before turning around, but thankfully, you gave him a subtle nod in Eric’s direction, which he immediately picked up. “Hey, man, I’m Zane, Yn’s brother. You must be Eric. How’re you doing?”

Zane gave him a friendly smile and offered him a hand, which Eric immediately shook. He was giddy to say the least, just as he opened his mouth, a deep voice from behind you interrupted him before he could speak. “Ey, Zane, there’s no fucking pizza left! It’s my damn party, and I didn’t even get a piece of pizza!”

Jungkook’s playful voice halted you for an instant. Your back was still turned to him, but as he approached the three of you, he slowly recognized who stood in front of him.

Now, he stood next to your brother, paralyzed for a second before he let his eyes wander down your face, then your entire body; a shimmer of desire and longing that could not be overlooked formed. He studied your familiar body, every curve that was once only his to touch, to explore, and the eyes that looked back at him with an innocence he could not resist.

His attention flickered to Eric for a second before fully turning to you again, with darkened eyes and flared nostrils; you were sure from his expression that Zane told him you were in a relationship now.

Your eyes wandered just the same, spotting new tattoos and much bigger biceps; he looked disgustingly handsome. He was bigger, and his presence seemed even more powerful than before he left. His hair had grown a few inches, but what always stayed the same were his eyes that never stopped looking at you the same way.

There was an awkward silence that even Eric detected before Jungkook spoke up. “Yn… it’s good to see you. You look beautiful, of course.”

There was something deep about the way he said those simple words; it was evident there was a lot more behind them.

And there was so much you wanted to say too, but all you could muster was, “It’s nice to see you too.”

You felt Eric’s and Zane’s gazes swinging from you to Jungkook while you two were lost in each other’s eyes; Eric was confused, trying to figure out what was going on, while Zane was amused yet cautious of what would happen if he left you two to it, with your boyfriend by your side.

“So, I think we should all get something to drink,” Zane was the one to break the silence before patting Jungkook on the shoulder. “C’mon, man; I’ll get you that pizza.”

They moved along, leaving you and Eric alone for a moment.

“So, do you know that Jungkook guy?” Eric carefully asked, not wanting to push you.

“He’s my brother’s best friend; of course I know him,” you answered a little snappily. “And he used to be our neighbor.”

Eric simply nodded, his grip on your shoulder tightening a bit before you slipped out of it, saying, “I’m gonna get a drink too.”

But you actually left to catch a breath of fresh air on the balcony. You felt someone following you, but convinced yourself it was paranoia until you felt the warmth of a larger body lurking behind you. You turned around and saw Jungkook looking at you with an indescribable expression.

“Please tell me that’s your new gay best friend,” he started, now standing next to you, hands on the balcony railing.

“What?” You turned your face to look at him, a sigh escaping your lips.

You were pretending that his presence didn’t affect you, pretending that you were even slightly annoyed he followed you, but you knew you wanted him to and you were glad he did.

“The guy you came with,” he clarified, a waiting gleam in his eyes.

You knew he knew that Eric was your boyfriend; he was just acting oblivious to get you to feel bad and to start a conversation about how Eric wasn’t ‘the right one for you.’ He might have been gone for over a year, but you knew Jungkook. He was predictable to you.

“No... he’s my boyfriend,” you clarified with a huff. “And what’s it to you anyway?”

He put his hand up in defense, a small smirk forming on his pretty face. “Nothing, nothing... just didn’t think he was your type is all.”

Despite not having figured out your feelings for Eric, Jungkook’s words pushed you to defend him.

“What do you mean ‘not my type’? Eric is a sweet guy, the sweetest actually, and any girl would be lucky to be with him,” you asserted, your heart racing. “He is gentle and a good communicator, and he loves me. And he would never do anything behind my back.”

Jungkook’s nostrils slightly flared as you talked about another man; he had always been the possessive one. He noticed how your stance wasn’t firm and the knitted expression on your eyebrows; a sign of uncertainty on your face he knew too well. “He loves you, huh? No doubt about it... do you love him though?”

Your breath hitched, and you felt faint for a second, not knowing how to compose yourself; you didn’t love him, no matter how much you tried. You always found yourself longing for something else... someone else. You didn’t know what to say, so you replied, “He treats me right.”

“I’d hope so...” he started, with an indescribable expression. “At least one person in that ‘relationship’ has to treat you right.”

You knew exactly what he was trying to do: making you overthink your relationship to come to the conclusion you two belonged together. But your half-healed heart refused to bring you to that place.

“What are you trying to accomplish, Jungkook?” you asked, saying his name as if it were venomous. “You left for Singapore almost two years ago; what was I supposed to do? Wait around for you until you remembered you had people who wanted to see you here? People who missed you?”

Now, he wore a spiteful expression, jabbing his cheek with his tongue. “No, you should have picked up my calls, answered my messages, let me know how you were doing. You should have at least let Zane let me know. You blocked me out of your life entirely; we are – we were in love, Yn. That doesn’t just go away overnight.”

You scoffed sarcastically to mask the pressure in your heart, affected by his words. “You think it was easy for me to do that? Guess what, Jungkook! It took a lot longer than ‘overnight’ for me to get over you, and if I had answered your calls and messages, maybe I still wouldn’t be over you!”

At that point, the loud party was a soft background noise for the two of you; you were too indulged in the rising tensions - your raising voices the only thing consuming you. Even during fights, there seemed to be no one else around you - for you.

“I wanted you to come with me! I got you a ticket, remember? The house is designed exactly how you envisioned your dream house,” he started, pain evident in his voice. “Yet, I have to live in it alone while everything reminds me of you.”

Your heart was breaking all over again, the sorrowful reflection in his gaze influencing you more than you wished. Yet, there was a rational part of you that recognized you had to stand your ground, defend yourself. You had good reasons to do what you did.

“Maybe you should have told me that before you bought a ticket for me without consulting me first!” you ranted, reminiscing the shock you felt at finding the tickets. “Or maybe you shouldn’t have taken the job offer and just stayed here like I wanted you to!!”

Jungkook had envisioned multiple scenarios about what would happen when you would see each other again. He thought about it all the time, while he was working, during sleepless nights without you by his side, while showering, working out, or fucking women that meant nothing to him... he knew exactly what you were going to say, if you would be willing to talk to him. And you were, and that made him feel happy despite the arguing because at least you were willing to argue with him, to talk to him.

He knew you, maybe more than anybody else did. He was convinced that the love between you two transcended any boundaries or obstacles.

“I know,” he admitted defeat, his voice velvety. “And I’m so fucking sorry, but please, baby, just give us another chance. I’m staying here for six months straight, and the offer to come with me after still stands.”

You felt conflicted; on one hand, you could not believe his audacity, and on the other, you were satisfied to know that he still wanted you, just like the last time he saw you.

“You can’t be serious!” you snapped. “I’m with Eric, and you can’t just come here and pretend like nothing ever happened.”

Jungkook felt your patience spreading thin and decided to go against his usual instincts to persuade you further. “Alright, I’m sorry. I just need to know one thing.”

“What?”

“Is he fucking you good?” he inquired, a possessive gleam in his eyes.

The question hung in the air like an unanswered prayer for a moment. You stood frozen before him as if you weren’t expecting him to ask that, as if you weren’t sure how to answer it.

And you truly didn’t.

“I don’t know,” came out in a whisper.

The truth was, you hadn’t let Eric that far yet, and you weren’t planning to do it anytime soon. He had an inability to make you wet, and whenever he went any further than touching your waist, you felt a slight sensation of disgust, like you would rather be fighting in a war than let Eric be inside you. You opted for telling him you were celibate, which wasn’t entirely a lie.

“What do you mean you don’t know?” Jungkook was confused, trying to decipher what you were trying to say.

“It means,” you started, slowly regaining your snappiness, “that I don’t know! I’ve never had sex with him.”

It was now Jungkook’s turn to say ‘what?!’ and it suddenly made you very aware that there were crowds of people just inside, Eric being one of them. You were lucky there were so many people blocking the view into the balcony, because if there weren’t, Eric would have found you a long time ago.

Jungkook was evidently happy with the revelation, smiling like an idiot.

“Stop smiling like that!” you hissed, motioning with your hands. “I’m just not ready yet. I told him I’m celibate. It’s none of your business anyway; why am I telling you any of this?”

Jungkook obeyed your wishes and stopped smiling; instead, he burst out laughing, so amused. “So you’ve been dating for eight months, and you still haven’t fucked? Damn, ma... we did it after the first date... and every day after.”

Before you could answer, your brother entered the balcony. When he saw you and Jungkook face to face, deep in a conversation or rather an argument, he gazed between you with an indescribable expression.

“Yn, Eric’s been looking for you everywhere,” Zane informed you with what you called ‘warning eyes’ digging holes into your face as you went back inside, leaving the two best friends alone.

___

The two weeks following the party were filled with work, for you and Jungkook alike. You didn’t run into each other again, but you did decide to unblock him.

You thought it was petty and unnecessary to deny him access to you when you would surely see him during his six-month stay here. You also wanted to see if he would notice and maybe hit you up occasionally; which he did.

Good morning texts and daily ‘how are you’s?’ filled you with an unspoken joy that you felt shouldn’t have been there, but you defended yourself by thinking, ‘I cannot control my feelings.’

Your conversation on the balcony made you think a lot through, specifically your relationship with Eric. You decided it was time to open up to him, giving him a chance to take you out properly, which he had been trying to do for a while.

So, you were getting ready for a romantic night out with Eric, putting on a gorgeous, tiny black dress that accentuated your curves and applying makeup that made you resemble an effortless beauty.

You planned to be honest with him about where you thought the relationship was headed.

---

You met up with Eric at a nice Italian restaurant in the middle of the city.

After a little small talk and finishing your meal, you sat in an awkward silence as he admired you.

You could feel something unusual but brushed it off as your usual paranoia. Eric was always a jolly person who wasn’t afraid to show his love in sometimes very overbearing ways.

“You know, Yn,” he started and suddenly got on one knee. His loving gaze spread pity over your conscience, his position weighing heavily on your chest. “I’ve never felt this way about anybody; you are bright like the stars and beautiful like a flower. I find you in everything around me. You consume my soul, Yn. I... I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Will you marry me?”

He took out a red box and opened it, revealing a small diamond ring. Eric waited a moment for your answer, but you sat frozen; it was too much. With the people around you watching, and Eric’s slowly saddened eyes gauging your reaction, you did not know what to do.

You questioned Eric’s self-awareness more than anything; when had you ever given him the impression that you wanted to marry him? You were sure you had never even given him a reason to think you wanted to be in a relationship with him!

You knew Eric’s lack of self-awareness would present a problem sooner or later, but you just wished it wasn’t in such a public setting, in front of at least twenty people.

Your breath quickened, and your heart tightened. You couldn’t do this anymore.

So, you grabbed your purse, stood up, and left with a hurried, “I’m sorry; I can’t do this,” leaving Eric with a humiliating crowd and a broken heart.

It felt like the right thing to do.

- - -

Once you ran to your car without looking back, you drove away from the scene.

You were so lost in thought that your subconscious acted; you set off in a direction you had not intended to go. You drove in the exact direction of Jungkook's apartment, as if it hadn’t been two years since you were last there, as if you were returning from work and it was your house.

As if your heart, and not your head, had guided you. If you had been thinking clearly at that moment, you would have given yourself a slap and reminded yourself who you were.

But you didn't, because as your grandma used to say, “Love makes a person lose their mind.”

You parked your car next to his luxury car. He still lived in the same apartment where you last fought, where you had countless sleepovers, where you lost your virginity, where you shared secrets, and made love in every corner.

You cursed and loved that apartment at the same time.

With a fog-clouded mind, you entered the complex and took the elevator to the fourth floor. Finally, you knocked on his door, '4B,' a few times before a confused Jungkook opened it.

He stood there in all of his glory, wearing grey sweatpants and an oversized black shirt, looking back at you with a questioning yet yearning gaze. “Yn?”

His voice immediately sent shivers down your spine, and you wanted to live in the eyes that devoured your lightly clothed body. “Can I come in?”

Your voice was smaller and weaker than it had ever been; he could tell there was something wrong but did not ask right away. He simply stepped aside and said, “Of course. Always.”

His eyes ran over the prominent curve of your breasts and your naked legs, begging to be wrapped around his head.

Before he had the chance to ask what was wrong, you threw yourself into his arms and whispered a desperate, “Can you just hold me?” into his ears.

He simply kissed your forehead and carried you to the couch.

You wrapped your exposed thick thighs around his waist and your arms draped around his neck, his hands resting on your hips, holding you as if it were the most natural thing in the world.

You hadn’t felt so safe since he left.

The realization that Jungkook was your safe space suddenly hit you, making you hide your face further in his neck.

He sat on the huge sofa, which led you to sit on his lap, your face still hidden in the hollow of his neck.

His large hand moved from your back to your hip, and you would have loved nothing more than to let yourself melt into his body. You had searched so long for that feeling – the feeling of being back in the arms of the only man you could love.

“What happened?” he asked solicitously, his voice rushing softly in your ears.

You refused to say anything for a few moments, totally unsure of how to explain your situation to him, or if you even wanted to.

Slowly coming out of your hiding place, you looked deep into his eyes; your eyes held a melancholy he noticed immediately. He stroked your goosebump-filled arms and brought his forehead close to yours. The atmosphere was just loving and peaceful.

“Eric proposed to me…” you sighed softly, fingers tangled in his soft black hair.

Jungkook’s eyebrows furrowed. “What?? Did you...” He coughed a bit before continuing, “Did you say yes?”

You sighed even louder. Even though you did not want to discuss it, you knew you had to eventually.

“No,” you answered, trying to maintain eye contact. “I just ran away and drove here.”

It was obvious Jungkook was trying hard to suppress a smile, so he simply wrapped his arms around you comfortingly and gently rocked you back and forth without saying a word.

You were hyper-aware of the fact that the only thing separating your wet pussy from leaving marks on his sweatpants were your thin, almost see-through panties.

You stayed in that position for a while, before leaning in and starting to place wet kisses on his neck, your fingers tightening around his hair.

His breath grew heavier as he held onto the thick flesh of your bare ass, unsure whether to let you go further or stop you.

“Yn...” his tone was uncertain yet aroused. “We really shouldn’t…”

You continued the trail of desperate kisses, unable to resist, with his familiar scent and the feel of his skin against your lips.

You already felt his dick hardening in his boxers as you gently caressed it with your hands, making him groan at the friction.

“Why not?” you asked with a pout, before palming his dick harder while grinding on his thigh. “Don’t you want to fuck me? Do I not make you hard anymore?”

You knew that neither of those things was true; you were just playing dumb to get him to give in to something you wanted, craved desperately. Your body hadn’t been properly touched in nearly two years; you were starting to get needy.

“You’re in a vulnerable state,” he stated in a raspy voice, heavily affected by your behavior. “I don’t want to do something with you that you might regret later.”

You shook your head almost vigorously, gently punching his chest; it was only gentle because your arousal was weakening your body. “No, you don’t get to leave for Singapore for two years and then come back to deny me. If I say I want you, I better get you, okay? I’ve been lonely for almost two years, Kookie; my fingers are starting to cramp from how much I touch myself thinking about it... don’t you dare deny me.”

Despite the urge to chuckle at your approach, your words made him think about you craving him just as much as he craved you; it made him feel validated and less pathetic for thinking about you after all the time and distance.

He was always convinced the love between you two transcended any boundaries or obstacles.

He captured your lips in a passionate kiss, which you reciprocated with whimpers against his familiar lips. There was no way to describe how much you missed this feeling.

Suddenly gripping your hips tighter, he stood up, carrying you to the bedroom like you weighed nothing, your pussy and his clothed dick touching delectably, evoking even more arousal from both of you.

At his bedroom, he gently placed you on the bed, looking down at you with desire-filled eyes. “You sure you want this?”

“Yes!” Your patience was wearing thin. “Just fuck me, Jungkook, and stop talking so much.”

You tugged at his shirt, and he quickly took the hint, stripping it off to reveal well-defined abs and bulging biceps, arms that looked like they could kill someone.

The last time you saw him, he was already muscular and fit, but it was evident that he took his fitness seriously while in Singapore.

You dreamily stared him up and down. “Now, the pants.”

He chuckled at your bossiness but obeyed without hesitation, leaving him in just his boxers.

You were getting impatient, already reaching for your panties to rub your pussy in anticipation, letting out small ‘hmmm’ sounds that drove Jungkook insane.

Now, he was determined to take off your dress, zipping it down hastily and almost ripping it off you if it weren’t for your hands stopping him from ruining a perfectly good dress.

“Baby, you don’t know how much I missed this,” Jungkook breathed out, eyeing you hungrily while you carefully took off your dress.

Once the dress was off, you revealed nothing more than your panties; you decided not to wear a bra because the dress was strapless and it would look silly with one.

Jungkook’s breath hitched, clearly overwhelmed by the sight of your generous breasts. “No bra?”

You shook your head and slowly approached him, roaming your hands all over him and grabbing him by the neck to pull him in for a kiss.

Your chest pressed against his, or more accurately, against his solid stomach because of your height difference; he was acutely aware of your hard nipples.

“Fuck, Yn,” he groaned, his hands roaming your body just the same. “Need to be inside you.”

“Then fuck me,” you urged, tugging at his boxers with hooded eyes and parted lips, desperation and horniness visible. “Just want you to fuck me, Kookie.”

He tilted his head back at your words, muttering a low ‘fuck,’ before positioning himself to enter your pussy. He quickly glanced into your eyes for any uncertainty, and finally, when he didn’t find anything other than an eager, awaiting expression, he entered your tight pussy with a low groan.

Your mouth widened for a second as you tried to adjust to the feel of his dick again, eliciting loud moans of pleasure and slight uneasiness.

He pressed you against the wall for more support, thrusting deeper into you. He watched his dick enter your pussy; it was almost poetic to him how perfectly made for him your pussy felt.

There were no afterthoughts about the situation being wrong, absolutely no overthinking about Eric, who was blowing up your phone while you were getting your back blown by your ex.

It felt right; you and Jungkook knew you were meant to be, and there was nothing that could happen, no one that could come between you. At the end of the day, you were always going to be back in each other’s arms.

“Shit, baby, you’re so fucking wet,” he panted, his lips pressing against your cheeks. “Still so fucking tight for me...”

You let out an aroused purr, already fucked out before even starting. Your hands were gripping his big arms, and your hips were moving towards him, seeking more friction.

“I’ve been dreaming about this moment, baby,” he admitted between low groans, moving in and out skillfully. “You know how many times I fisted my dick thinking about fucking you again?”

“Me too,” you desperately moaned back, bouncing slightly; the sound of slapping skin surrounded the air. “Fuck, Jungkook… love that dick… yes, I fucking love that dick…”

Your barely comprehensible words drove him crazy, gripping your hips and fucking you like you were a fuck toy. “Shit, baby, that pussy’s mine, yeah? Only mine. No one else gets to - fuck - no one else gets to have you like this.”

You nodded, burying your fucked-out face in his broad shoulder, vocalizing the pleasure you felt at every thrust. Your breath tickled his skin, and the warmth of his hands contrasted the coldness of the wall beautifully.

His big dick moved inside of you in a steady rhythm, each thrust making your eyes roll back further.

Your bodies pressed against each other sexually, big breasts spilling out against his strong chest, your hands moving around his back to scratch him harshly, and his grip on your ass and hips becoming almost painful; you were both begging for release.

“Harder, Kookie. Do it harder,” you begged, not caring how desperate you sounded. “That dick feels so fucking good. Oh god, Jungkook.”

He indeed started to fuck you harder, heavy breaths becoming even heavier, lips connecting again and again in sensual kisses. His moans against your lips drove you wild.

The raw intensity of the moment was driving you insane; you felt every inch of his beautiful dick, and he was feeling your pussy entirely, without the almost restrictive feeling of a condom.

“Shit, shit, shit, shit,” he panted with every quickened motion of his dick, his mouth forming an ‘o.’ “Baby, I’m g’na cum. Shit, I’m g’na cum so fucking hard.”

Feeling your high approach as well, you didn’t care about the consequences at all; you planned to go on birth control first thing in the morning, saying, “Cum inside, Jungkook. Please, just fill me up with that cum.”

Your bodies moved together rhythmically, his steady thrusts hitting exactly the right spots as you chased your orgasm. Your eyes locked together and your moans became intertwined.

Low ‘fuck’s and ‘oh god’s were all you heard, as both of you were too deep into the pleasure to formulate real sentences.

With one final thrust and a muttered ‘yes, just like that,’ he found his release, his thick, warm cum deliciously filling you. You closely followed, your back arching and head thrown back, the two of you coming hard.

His broad body momentarily collapsed against yours, both panting hard, still pressed against the wall. He whispered praises and sweet nothings in your ear while trying to regain composure.

“I’m so happy I came here,” you softly kissed him, and he agreed with your words, muttering a ‘me too’ against your lips.

You felt hazy and tired, but you tried to slowly get off Jungkook and get to the bathroom, which you eventually did with his help; he carried you all the way there.

After you finished cleaning yourselves up, you headed straight to the bed. You lay bare on your stomach, still somewhat overstimulated and hazy from the orgasm.

Jungkook gently stroked your backside, muttering things like, “You did so good for me, baby,” and “You don’t know how much I missed this fucking pussy,” before leaning in and biting into your shapely ass playfully, eliciting a gasp from you.

He spread kisses on your ass cheeks and slowly separated them; he stuck his head in between and gave your hole a few licks before gently sucking on the skin of your ass with his skillful tongue.

Your legs started to tremble from pleasure and mild discomfort; Jungkook had eaten you before, but you seldom did that in the bedroom.

The more you thought about it, the more you realized how terrified your brother would be if he knew what you two did.

“Jungkook!” you purred, arching your back for more pressure against his tongue. “Oh fuck… oh my god, oh god.”

Jungkook’s groans and low chuckles sent vibrations through your body, deepening the pleasure and making you seek your high more.

“Fuck, this fat ass is still as good as I remember,” he praised against the sensitive skin, still kneading and spanking it hard. “Wanna stay like this forever.”

He returned to licking and probing your asshole, clearly enjoying your squirming figure. You pushed your ass up, hoping for more friction.

You were practically already fucked out and overwhelmed that you couldn’t answer with more than a simple agreeing moan.

You started grinding your ass against his face, desperately wanting to cum again, enjoying the feel of his tongue against you.

His licks and your grinding quickened, which quickly turned into a series of ‘ah, ah, ah’s as you came undone on his tongue.

When your panting lessened, you turned around, lying on your back in bliss.

You fell asleep in each other’s arms almost immediately.

Jungkook thought this was the nicest way you could have welcomed him back.

___

i hope you enjoy this!! idk if i wanna give this a second part or just leave it like this (cause i have no idea what i would do in the 2nd part actually), but i’m thinking i’ll see if people enjoy it and then think about a part two💋 love uuu

[achillesthv]

♯ 𝘁𝘆𝗽𝗲 𝟭 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝘁𝗮𝗲𝗵𝘆𝘂𝗻𝗴⌖

[msbangtan]

“When you photograph people in colour, you photograph their clothes. But when you photograph people in B&W, you photograph their souls.” ~ Ted Grant