#Shes been shown genuine kindness in her life by exactly ONE GUY. SHES LOYAL TO HIM AMD HIS RULES ABOVE ALL ELSE

[captainuranium543]

People who say erza "doesn't show any signs of trauma the way other characters do" and is therefore not a complex character, then complain about her social awkwardness, rigid personality, generally hostile outward appearance and tendency to resort to violence as a fix all solution in the same breath make me so genuinely angry.

[zenkindoflove]

So I wrote this post about Lucien deserving Elain in a fit of anger. And now I'm back with more anger because guess what guys.

Elain ALSO deserves Lucien.

I see it all the time. "Lucien deserves someone who actually likes him." Followed by bashing Elain as if she is the worst person ever and doesn't deserve love.

Please stop pretending like you're making this argument because you care about Lucien. Lucien deserves his soulmate. He deserves to have that HEA with the one person who he has a soul to soul connection with. Don't throw side characters and randos at him that do not make sense at all to his narrative or how SJM had canonized how mating bonds work. Do you honestly think Lucien is going to care that some other female wants him???? Do you even get that Lucien can easily get any female in Prythian and has gotten many of them but none of them really mattered to him the way Elain matters to him.

Listen to his words. He tells everyone he's a mated male now for a reason. He is loyal to Elain regardless of whether she is showing him desire.

Elain is a GOOD person. Just like Lucien. She is kind and thoughtful. Careful and empathetic. Strong and resilient. Elain loves with her whole heart. She loved her father when no one else could see as worthy. Not even her sisters. She loved Graysen faithfully even if he was a scumbag who didn't deserve her devotion. So, I think Elain knows what it means to love, and she is not ready to give away her heart so fast again. Especially not to someone who can see all of her.

Yes, it's hard that she isn't ready to love Lucien yet. But girl has been THROUGH it. She has been struggling with a loss of her autonomy, her future, and her identity. And all of that with the pressure of a soulmate who is a stranger. None of you can say you'd handle it perfectly either.

And guess what. Lucien, my brave and soulful man, understands that. He is the only one who acknowledged when Elain was severely depressed in ACOWAR that she suffered a trauma. He is the only one that gives her space rather than pushing his opinions or desires of what he wants her to be onto her. He knows she isn't ready. And he's waiting. Giving her space but also being present enough so she knows he is there when she is ready to get to know him. That is all he has wanted.

Jumping to the assumption that Elain "doesn't even like him" is bold. You don't know Elain's thoughts. You don't know how she really feels about Lucien as a person. We have some inklings about what she thought about the bond right after her terrible breakup that she was still mourning. We know that before Lucien left on a dangerous mission, she took a half step as if to stop him. We know that she has shown genuine care over whether he's hurt. And we know that she feels the connection to him (I can hear your heart beating through the stone) and that is never going away. We know that Elain is affected by Lucien and it's not a leap to think that she feels as drawn to him as he is to her, she just has to be ready. And maybe Elain can tell Lucien is a good male who she doesn't want to inflict her messiness on just yet. Maybe she knows to jump in too fast wouldn't be fair to him either.

So many denigrate Elain and say she is boring, selfish, or mean all because she is struggling through a tough time in her life. And even in that struggle, she still maintains her kindness. She still searches for hope. She still wants to better herself. Which sounds a lot like that mate of hers. And when she is ready to fall in love again, she will get exactly the man that she deserves. Lucien Vanserra. Because Elain deserves the unconditional love that he has to offer. Finally someone will return it back to her.

[itsclydebitches]

About crosshair. Again lol

Regardless of his scar not lining up with chip scar or the headaches or “soldiers follow orders” again. Or him without a chip being a liability to the empire. I just don’t buy his personality change in the end. I’m the pilot episode they hammered it over our heads it’s very unlike him to follow orders. He said himself “empire or republic, what’s the difference?” But now in the end he cares about the empire protecting the galaxy? Responds to hunter his choice is “soldiers follow orders”? Wtf, really? So he genuinely believes his only personality is being a soldier now? when it’s been established in both in cw and tbb that cf99, including crosshair only cared about completing the mission. I get that people change but not that abruptly especially if we are to believe techs “unyielding” description of him to be true. Echo is the one true soldier of the group. He keeps repeating to hunter “we are soldiers not smugglers”, “there is no other way than being soldiers” etc. but he is clearly loyal to the republic. And I never saw echo and crosshair to be similar in that

So yeah , I think it’s very out of character for crosshair to just see himself as soldier and being content with following order or being a pawn(which he must realize he is cause he’s not dumb) especially with his mega inflated sense of self importance. Just my two cents

Crosshair is a complicated character! There's a lot to discuss :D

That's a good point though. And yeah, as acknowledged the quick personality change could be chalked up to chip influence if it's still having some kind of impact... but if it's not, then what do we make of that?

Putting aside the "It's just bad writing" possibility, I think there's a key difference between not following orders and not being loyal to the organization giving those orders. They're not necessarily the same thing, though it's easy to lump the two together. Yeah, we see early on that the Bad Batch isn't known for doing things the "right" way. Rex and Jesse are pretty unsure about their methods when the Batch first shows up in TCW. In the pilot Tech has a line about how "We're more deviant than defective" emphasizing that they tend to do things differently. Crosshair's sudden willingness to follow orders to the letter, not just in spirit, is questioned during their time in the cell, etc. So yeah, they don't obey the rules, but I don't think that's because they're not loyal. They're not refusing orders because pff, screw the Republic/Empire, who cares about those guys. They're refusing orders because they recognize that their way of doing things—the unconventional methods that deviate from the standard clone playbook—is more likely to net them, and the Republic, a success. They seem to be against the Republic's rules because they want the Republic to succeed, recognizing that their way is the best way to get that. Wrecker takes great pride in their successful missions, keeping tally marks on their room's wall. Crosshair is constantly pointing out how the higher ups called them in because the Regs couldn't complete a mission, likewise emphasizing his pride in being needed. When Rex and Hunter finally start bonding, it's through Rex's decision to charge the droids head on, precisely like the Batch would, rather than following the "correct" strategy of carefully picking them off from the tree line. They bond over the understanding of, "Yes. This is the best way the Republic wins." Perhaps most significantly, the Batch was still willing to complete missions for the Empire up until they were ordered to kill civilians. Killing Jedi resulted in an acknowledgement of how messed up that was... but no solid intent to leave.

All of the above is important because it establishes the Batch's need to be loyal to something other than themselves. The kind of loyalty that is shown through intense, life-threatening acts of service. Hunter's line about them being loyal to each other rather than some Empire, while true, is a simplification. Their loyalty to the Republic and their loyalty to one another overlap in many, many significant ways, simply because the Batch was created for the Republic. They have literally spent their entire lives living, breathing, fighting, and almost dying for the Republic. Their core identities stem from the Republic's desires: skills they want them to cultivate and even personalities they want to foster, if Tech's theories are to be believed (that conversation with Wrecker in the mess hall). The loyalty the Batch feels, those bonds they formed over the years, stem entirely from completing missions for the Republic. Their love for one another is, at least at the start, a product of the Republic's desire for Good Soldiers. And yeah, they sometimes did things the Republic technically didn't like, but it was always in service of achieving the Republic's end goal, whatever that may have been. They were very good soldiers, just soldiers that understood the value of creative thinking. "You want me to reach this location? Of course! I'll reach it by cutting across the grass, despite you asking me to follow the path already laid out. But our goal and the Regs' goal is exactly the same: fulfill your mission. That's our purpose in this life."

And then the Republic became the Empire.

Every one of these characters has a need to serve some higher purpose, to complete missions for the benefit of another. Overlooking the very literal ways in which they may have been genetically predisposed towards this (like the chip), and the cultural brainwashing that went on the second they were born (this is your duty, this is your purpose, this is all you exist for), this is, simply put, all they've ever known. Though it's possible to walk away from that need, it's by no means easy. So what saves the majority of the Batch from falling into that "Republic, Empire, what's the difference?" thinking out of a need to serve someone?

Omega.

I think it's crucial that the second they abandon one mission—killing civilians for the Empire—there's already new mission waiting for them to focus on instead—rescue and protect Omega, indefinitely. That's Hunter's thinking. We're not going to do A, we're going do B instead. All they did was put that single-minded focus onto a new target, but the focus—the need—still exists. And we see that throughout the first season, where everything the Batch does is in service to Omega. Their life decisions revolve entirely around her, from very small things (here's your own room on the ship) to the much larger (we need to stay on the move to help you avoid bounty hunters, even if we may want to find someplace to stay). The purpose of a soldier has been mapped onto the purpose of a parent, with the new, ongoing goal being "Raise Child" as opposed to "Win War." Putting aside for the moment the fact that this is an action-adventure show and thus exciting plot has to happen, I think it's notable that no one suggests non-soldier-y things to help them make money. Tech isn't offering his intellect as an easy way to make credits, nor Wrecker his strength. No one is seriously thinking of a planet they could hide out on, even from bounty hunters, so as to raise Omega in peace. They are still, fundamentally, the people they were during the time of the Republic, people who need to fight for something. Literally fight. It's just now they're chaotically fulfilling missions for Cid so they can give Omega a halfway decent life, rather than chaotically fulfilling missions for a general so they can give the Republic a chance at winning the war.

Omega is the new focus, the new Republic stand-in, but what happens if she's not an option? (Would have been really interesting to see what the Batch did if she'd actually left with Cut.) Without the chip affecting his thoughts, I fully believe Crosshair would have left with the others. Why wouldn't he? That's his family and, per Hunter's orders, Omega is the new mission. But the chip ensured he missed that chance and by the time he came out of it (if he came out of it), it was too late. His squad was gone, they never came back, and Crosshair needs to find a new place in this galaxy, just like they did. Except his options are far more limited and suck a whole lot more. I can't recall anything that implies Crosshair thinks the Empire will save the galaxy, but he does think it's going to control it and he's looking for his own purpose in this new life. Why not find purpose in the winning side? He can serve the Empire just like they served the Republic. He can serve the Empire just like his squad now serves Omega. The need to belong somewhere, to have that larger goal, outweighs those pesky ethical issues, at least for now. Though to me the "Good soldiers follow orders" really, really still sounds like chip influence, it can also be read as a broader acknowledgment that yes, they are fundamentally soldiers and yes, they do need orders of one kind or another. They need that mission. That goal. That purpose. Someone who helps to guide them in this new, crazy galaxy. Yeah, they've always bent and gotten creative with the orders, but until 4/5ths of them left the Empire, they'd never ignored the orders as a whole. None of the Bad Batch went, "I'm not taking this mission because the Admiral was an asshole to us about it and I don't feel like it :/" They suck up all the hard parts—the awful treatment, the danger, the general difficulty—because they have a goal to fulfill. They live for having a goal, literally in the sense that this is what they were made for. The Bad Batch is still doing that with Cid, putting up with bad treatment, dangerous situations, and general difficulty because they have that larger goal of taking care of Omega. Crosshair missed out on that, so he latched onto the Empire instead. Which circles right back around to previous points that if the Batch had tried to rescue him and/or been more welcoming when offering his return, Crosshair likely would have joined in on the Omega mission too. It's the best new purpose for all of them.

Crosshair sees himself as a soldier because, right now, being a soldier of the Empire is the only way he can find the purpose and belonging that the rest of the Batch maintained with each other and Omega, back when he was left behind. No, he's not dumb, but the logistics of the situation outweigh his knowledge that things are far from perfect. Do we think the Batch doesn't also realize that Cid is continually taking advantage of them with 70/30 splits? Of course not. But they need a way to survive and, right now, this is it. Crosshair likewise recognizes that the Empire is treating him as a pawn—I think he was in denial prior to the bombing, but now he definitely knows—but what other option is there? Not his squad. As discussed, he feels strongly that he's no longer welcome with them, with good reason. The only other option is to go off on his own, something that's incredibly foreign to clones who were bred to serve that higher purpose alongside many, many brothers. Yes, we've seen one or two who manage that—like Cut—but they're the outliers. Rex found his new purpose fighting the Empire with Ahsoka. The Batch found their new purpose taking care of Omega with each other. Crosshair's new purpose is... nothing. Not unless he swallows down his misgivings (and his ego) and keeps serving the Empire until a better purpose comes along.

[stop-breaking-my-heart-telltale]

Top 5 Reasons Doug’s Pretty Great

It’s hard to believe that it’s been nine years since the first episode of S1 was released. I can still remember be a wee little lass first discovering it on youtube and becoming obsessed. At the time, I had no where to play it myself, so I watched as many playthroughs as I could until my family got an xbox. 

While the first episode in this series has a lot of memorable moments, the one that always stands out in people’s memories is the moment where you’re trying to escape the drugstore as walkers pound away at the door and windows, and you realize that both Carley and Doug need your help or they’re going to die. 

But... you can only save one, and whoever you don’t help, they end up being eaten alive by walkers and you get to feel bad about it for the rest of the episode. 

I bring this up because it’s interesting to look back nine years ago and see that... well, not a lot of people saved Doug. Which is crazy, because now the stats are pretty 50/50 with Doug even having a bit of an edge over Carley. That definitely wasn’t the case back then because the stats were more along the line of 20/80.

Why? Well, the writer’s didn’t exactly do the best job of showing how great Doug is in ep1, especially compared to Carley who has more interactions with Lee and more screen time.... which is even funnier because they did actually think they did a good job and were surprised by the results after the episode’s release.

Even back then they had a habit of making imbalanced routes then denying the imbalance... something they never grew out of. 

I guess they were a little butthurt about it since Doug is a favorite among the team given that he’s actually based on a real person, Doug Tabacco, an IT guy they worked with. This got to the point where Telltale never missed an opportunity to tell everyone to #SaveDoug over Carley.

I also love that they use the Stranger to guilt trip everyone who saved Carley by having him be like, “Doug was in a worse position! >:( You only saved Carley because she was a pretty girl!!” just.... real subtle, guys haha

Now, I’ll be the first to admit that more often than not, I choose to save Carley over Doug for many reasons, but that doesn’t mean I don’t appreciate Doug and enjoy having him around in the off chance I do save him. So I thought it’d be fun to talk about Doug as a character and why he was pretty great as a little tribute, y’know? 

5. Doug’s a pretty funny dude

Now, I wouldn’t exactly call twdg a comedy, y’know? It gets dark, then manages to get even darker at times, but if the game was nothing but doom and gloom, it’d get boring and become unenjoyable. 

While other characters do get a laugh out of me from time to time, I enjoy the humor that Doug brings to the group, even if it’s not intentional and just the way he is. 

Even from the beginning, Doug had me chuckling with the fact that this nerdy dude didn’t want to bring profanity to Lee’s ears when talking about Larry, so he’s just like “ He's kind of a dick... pardon my french,” like Doug.... it’s okay, you can call him an asshole, no one will judge hahaha.

Then there’s the biscuit scene that I think we all know and love. Helps break the tension of meeting these weirdo’s who own a dairy and are totally not suspicious or anything. 

But it’s not even just that Doug is funny, he’s also a character that gets you to crack a smile when he’s talking about something he’s passionate about, or when he’s proud of the alarm he rigged up, or when he’s being adorably awkward. 

One of my favorites is in ep3 when Lee goes to ask Doug if he has any chalk, and he goes into this spiel about charcoal-- “You know, a piece of charcoal is a suitable alternative, depending on your marking surface. Since we're on the subject, did you know that while chalk is traditionally known to be calcium carbonate, what's often used in classrooms is actually made of gypsum, thanks to favorable domestic mining conditions?”

And Lee’s response is just-- “Doug, I did not know that.”

“Happy to be of service.”

It’s just really funny... and it makes you feel better after all the implications about Doug’s mental health in the episode... like you gave him a moment to flex his knowledge and get excited about it. 

But yeah, what can I say? Doug makes me laugh and he brings a bit of light to the groups constant shitshow. 

4. Doug saved the group’s ass at the St John farm

And he did so with a laser pointer. 

I always hate it when Doug/Carley leave the group at the St Johns and remain absent for most of the episode, though I chalk that up to the writers trying to make the different routes easier on themselves, y’know? 

But, at least they come back to save the day. 

In Doug’s case, he’s not comfortable with guns like Carley is, so he’s gotta get creative when it comes to getting Lee’s attention and stopping Andy from hurting Duck and Lee. 

That’s where his fancy little laser pointer comes in. 

We first see him with it during the walk to the farm, but then see it in action after Lee escapes the barn and is nearly blinded by the light. Doug claims he was doing morse code before Lee tells him and Ben that these assholes cut off Mark’s legs and tried to feed them to the group. 

Now, here’s the thing... If Doug and Ben had done what they were told and stayed at the motor inn over night, things probably wouldn’t have turned out so good for the group. Doug is the one who shines the laser pointer in Andy’s eyes when he’s got ahold of Duck, giving Lee the advantage of attack. Without that, if Lee tried anything, he would’ve ended up like dingdong Kenny with a bullet in his side. 

Also there’s just a lot of bravery from Doug, y’know? Like as soon as he finds Lee and knows the situation, the first thing he asks is what can they do to help, and he sticks around to do what he can.... even if it is just to point a laser in someone’s eye. 

No one gives Doug enough credit for savin’ the day, y’know? And if you have any doubt, even Lee says, “I never thought a laser pointer would be the thing that saved our lives.”

3. Doug’s friendship with Lee

Speaking of Lee, his friendship with Doug is underrated. The two have chemistry and work off each other well in the scene’s they’re in. While it’s not as strong as Carley’s in ep1, saving Doug and having around in ep2 & ep3 lets you see it at it’s best, y’know? 

After Lee saves his life at the drugstore, Doug is shown to mourn Carley and asks Lee why he would pick him, lamenting that he wished he had picked her over him and you can tell that Doug feels that he owes Lee a lot for saving him. Hell, he even says as much when Lee tries to give him food in ep2-- “Why don't you keep my share today. I know I said it didn't matter why you saved me and not Carley, but... I owe you a lot more than half a day's rations."

Also, I love this one line from Kenny when you’re on bad terms with him and they’re talking about going separate ways where he’s basically like “We all know Doug’s gonna stay with you because you saved him that ONE time >:(” and on top of it being such a bitchy Kenny line, it also shows that every can see that Doug is a loyal friend to Lee and would want to stick with him where ever he decides to go. 

One thing that I think people tend to overlook, though, is how concerned Lee is with Doug’s mental health in ep3. There are implications that Doug might be suffering with depression due to the situation of the walkers, bandits harrassing and threatening them, and believing that he isn’t useful to the group, stating that he feel pretty worthless. Lee asks Clementine if he seems sad, and hell, he even talks to Lilly about it.

In fact, speaking of Clementine, Doug is real sweet with her, too. Of course, he gives her those batteries for her walkie, but he also asks about how she’s doing as they’re leaving the dairy. Hell, 8 years later, Clementine still remembers him by name and how sweet he was when fucking dingdong Lilly can’t remember his damn name. That says a lot. 

Y’all know how important Clementine is to Lee, so he wouldn’t have grown as close to Doug if he wasn’t a genuinely good person who treated Clementine with kindess. 

I dunno, there’s a lot of trust and care between the two and it’s a relationship that I truly love. I just wish we could’ve seen a bit more of it but y’know...#2 happened. 

2. Doug saved Ben’s life

Yeah, I think we all saw this coming...

Look, doesn’t matter what you think about Ben, okay? Not what we’re talkin’ about. We’re talkin’ about Doug saving Ben’s life, which unfortunately meant ending his own.

Still haven’t forgiven Lilly for this one. Though I’ve always found the difference between Doug and Carley’s death’s interesting. With Carley, Lilly intentionally kills her after Carley tells her off. But with Doug, Lilly was aiming for Ben and even when Doug pulled him out of the way, she still fired the gun... even though she didn’t have a clear shot and ended up hitting Doug. 

Then she tries to play it off like it was an accident which, yeah I guess it was but that doesn’t change that you were intending to murder this 6ft tall child. 

It’s just... I dunno, man, it’s sad. I always feel more sorrow for Doug’s death, but more anger for Carley’s? Even though both make me angry, it’s just different characters, different things that led to their deaths, different feelings. This is the first real “Fuck you, Lilly” moment for me and she can spend the next 8 years wandering around for all I can. 

Doug didn’t deserve this shit. 

But, the reason I put this at #2 because it really says a lot about Doug as a character. The second he saw Lilly aim that gun, he yanked Ben out of the way. He could’ve gone into shock, he could’ve just yelled “no!”, or he could’ve gone at Lilly instead.... but no, his first instinct was to grab Ben and move himself in front and it really fucking sucks that that’s what killed him. 

And y’know this isn’t the first time Doug has put himself in danger to save someone. I already talked about him saving everyone at the dairy, but can we not forget how he and Carley met? She was gonna get eaten by walkers then our big hero Doug came in and saved her?? Didn’t know her or anything, just saw her and her crew getting attacked and did what he could to save any survivors?? 

Like... no one talks about that because it’s so played off and never brought up again and I need everyone to remember this, okay? 

Doug selflessly putting himself in danger to help those around him? Fantastic. Beautiful. Love that.

1. Look, Doug himself is just #1. His personality, intelligence, everything.

Wow, Doug’s personality being the #1 reason he’s so great? Who woulda thought?

Well, ME woulda thought because obviously.

Listen... in case you haven’t gather this from the previous four entries, Doug is an intelligent, awkward, caring, selfless, funny, and brave man, okay? He’s likable, he tries his damnedest to pull his weight for the group, he shows actual loyalty and kindness unlike some people, and when he tends to avoid the constant Lilly and Kenny conflicts, he does his best to step in when things take a serious turn, hence the Ben situation. 

No to mention the dude is smart. 

I mean, he really took a random remote and was like, “Oh it’s universal, let me just program it to work on ALL the random TV’s across the street as a way to distract these walkers!” like dude.... you just know how to do that, huh? 

Or his fun little bell trap that alerts the groups of strangers and walkers? Oh, and remember when he fixed the RV by hitting it with a fucking hammer and was like “It works now, drive!” 

And have I mentioned that he bested Andy St John with a goddamn laser pointer?? 

Oh, also wanna add that I really like his voice acting, as well. He’s voiced by Sam Joan, who does a good job at selling Doug’s soft-spoken but intelligent nature, and knows how to pull off “dorky” when needed... and I mean that in a good way, when he’s talking about charcoal Doug is being a dork and I love him.

I mean... what else is there to say?

All that’s left to do is pull a Telltale and--

#SaveDoug

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Honorable Mentions

-Doug is a pie guy, going off of that time he named all the different kinds of pie he could thing of and I feel that.  -He’s a very fashionable person. I want that weird polar bear deer thing shirt he wears in ep1.  -also, you can’t go wrong with socks and sandals, my dude.  -He had a crush on Carley and honestly, I feel that, too. 

---

There it is, there’s my whole thing about Doug. What are your thoughts? When it comes to that choice in ep1 of s1, do you save Doug or do you save Carley? Do you agree or disagree with any of my choices for this list? Or have anything to add? I’m always down to chat.

Have any suggestions for future T5F’s? Feel free to send ‘em in! :D

—

Next week’s T5F

[vaguely-concerned]

The Mandalorian Chapter 11 reactions; the ‘the sea is a harsh mistress’ edition

- on first watch this wasn’t really one of my favorite episodes. I think it’s something to do with... one of the many things I love about the mandalorian is how it made the star wars universe feel HUGE. big and surprising and unknowable, there could be fucking anything out there man we don’t know. so having first bo katan show up and then ahsoka being set up right after (quite aside from who’s rumoured to play her, which is an entirely different can of wormy beans) in additon to opening the season on tatooine... eh. I’m not that into it, it feels like shrinking the world. we haven’t even gotten to see any other type of force user yet. it is only early/mid season tho so they’re probably going to pull some unexpected twists on us 

my opinion might change with rewatches too, that happens quite a bit with this show!

- 

🎶I’VE COME TO TALK WITH YOU AGAIN🎶

honestly I had kind of a hard day yesterday and watched this the next morning and kept pointing tiredly to the crest like ‘it me tho’ 

- I was unreasonably happy about seeing the calamari flan again hahaha he’s been keeping that shit in his pockets for a season and a half now (didn’t he pay with some at one other point too?)! also the sound effects for them are SO EXCELLENT, I keep thinking about how well this show does texture which is wild considering how it’s filmed 

- the warm pat din gave frog lady’s arm when he thanked her and said goodbye 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 I love the small ways he’s thawing 

-

my heart ached so much for him at this point, he just looks so small and tense and lost, like a kid who’s lost his parents in a supermarket

(he keeps his hand on the blaster the whole time too so he knows this is a bad scene but now they’re right out in the middle of the ocean already soooo) 

- din’s very very very dry sense of humour is so blessed. ‘a bowl of chowder for my friend’ faklhfsadkjlfhsadkjhfsd

the baby’s look when he poked the squid thing with his knife too -- yodito’s like ‘dad is a wizard??’ haha. some good baby & dad stuff in this one 

- oh din... side quest boy, side quest booooooyyy

- the shot when bo katan helped him out of the water is perfectly mirroring the scene of bb!din being pulled up to safety by the mandalorian in the flashback, which seems Very Intentional

I Extremely Do Not Trust Her in the larger scale tho. I think it’s important that din knows now that he was raised in a very specific offshoot of the mandalorians ant that there’s some Stuff he hasn’t been told, but I also think it’s crucial to remember that her pov is not unbiased either and she, in fact, already has an established tendency to selectively share information with him to manipulate him into fulfilling her goals. (which he realizes because he keeps saying ‘that is not my mission, my mission is the child’ and I could not love him more). hell, I’m not sure exactly how ‘the children of the watch’ were positioned within death watch, but she was fucking death watch too for the longest time! and she hardly left for particularly noble reasons, she just didn’t like maul! she already lost mandalore like twice, do we just have to trust that third time’s the charm or what! 

she lied to him about the scope of the mission to force him into a position to do what she wanted (fully knowing he’s responsible for a child!!) and she called that ‘the way’ just as easily as the thing about not letting his bravery be forgotten! big red warning lights, NO! I think the thing is that din is having to find his own ‘way’ of being mandalorian (/how does one be a person exactly help?? relatable content, and he’ll get there in the end I’m sure he’s so good), but her way is no less fucked up to me than the children of the watch from what we’ve seen so far. she’s good at killing imperials though which is of course a mark in her favour

(considering that the episode gives her the epithet ‘the heiress’... yeah that’s probably a hint that she’s loyal first and foremost to her entitlement, getting the position she considers hers by right of inheritance. guess we’ll see if the text agrees with her)  

- ‘mandalorians are stronger together’ yeah that’s probably why the cosmic balance makes sure they’re mostly engaged in being at each other’s throats lol 

- so I might be feeling kind of sketch about these guys but on the other hand... when that one lady saved the baby and then promptly took off her helmet to reveal she looks like t h i s ?

you better BELIEVE I was ready to fall down on one knee and propose right then and there holy shit

- ...wow if he didn’t have the jet pack din probably would have just sunk like a rock and drowned there huh 😨 that armour’s pretty heavy, turns out

- in happier news: din has become so good at reading what the child is expressing and responding/labeling the feeling for him! that’s so important to his development! ‘I know you’re hungry’ and both telling and showing him there’s a solution! still a bit of an issue that he thinks he can inform the baby of things like it’s a reasoned adult and have it understand, but we’re getting there we’re getting there lol

- that poor lady guiding them in for landing and sounding more and more worried fhkasjdlhfkjsdlahf (and he fucking TURNS OFF THE RADIO or whatever he’s using to talk to her through sdkfhaksdfhjs he takes a precious split second just to cut her off asfdjhaslkdfsdfhsda I love my salty dad) 

- when the fisherman asshole tells mando he knows where to find more of his people there’s the tinkling bell sound in the background music, I think it’s meant to convey almost childlike longing for belonging and connection, for finding someone who’ll know what to do? 

- when they took off their helmets and baby looked up at din like ‘???dad what the fuck? can you do that???’. (or like he just sensed his father taking a shitload of psychic damage all in one go)

- the way din didn’t start breathing again until they got the baby up from the water and he had him in his arms... the way he held him... sladfhasdklfhsjakdhfjsakldhfsakjldhfsjkadhfjaskdhfskajdhfjsdakhfslakhfskladhfsakljdhfjskadlhfkjsld

that whole scene was like a nightmare, so desperately unpleasant, in a way it mirrors the way the mandalorians have been hunted down and pummeled these last few generations, this must sort of be what it feels like to him subconsciously 

- din isn’t particularly inflexible as a person, after the initial kneejerk rejection he did listen to what they said and is carefully considering it (he did say ‘this is the way’ back at the end!)   

- the baby’s babbling when he wakes up and looks around in the beginning sounds half like ‘baba?’ and I almost had a heart attack

- loved how greasy and awful and dumb all the empire dudes were (and the comedy on board the ship too it was good for me) 

- the boob plates huh. shit they’ve shown with the armorer that they don’t have to do that in any way shape or form and they still brought the boob plates back :/ I guess it’s so they match up with the rebels/clone wars look, evoking that ~*era*~ and everything, but I don’t have to like it lol  

- I feel so validated in my theory that the razor crest is symbolic of din’s sense of self  (now with beautifully added commentary!) after this haha (and also so so scared now they might be ditching it for a new ship eventually). it’s in pieces, his world view is going to pieces and can’t be patched together the way it was before, from what he knows he’s about to deliver the baby to someone else who’ll understand/love/deserve him better (I do think that feeling is still in him) and he doesn’t even have the certainty of the code anymore to fill the void. oh buddy. 

the discomfort I felt when we got back into the cockpit -- into where it’s supposed to be familiar and safe! -- and saw all the ocean junk lying around, making it feel weird and changed and dirty (it probably smells like rotten seaweed in there now :( no likey)... I mean it was also very funny to see the pilot’s chair held together with a literal fishing net, but please favreau leave my dad’s car/ego alooooone 

- baby laughing his little bum off at din catching the small sea monster before it got him and then munching it......... the ‘there’s nothing in this world my dad can’t fix’ safe energy.......... I’m so scared we’re coming up on something din can’t fix 

- knitwear in star wars: I didn’t know I wanted it, but I am ELATED with having been given it

- moff gideon’s amazing evil voice... back in our ears, in our hearts, I gleefully hate him 

- at least din’s armour is clean again after that (awful) swim? one must appreciate some silver linings along the way I suppose

- din goes straight for the main pilot’s seat once they get the imperial out of it, so he must feel really secure that he’s probably the best man for the job; he is genuinely a good pilot! (and after this I am wondering even MORE who taught him. who raised you within the mandos din??)

- even while everything is new and scary and falling apart we can live safe in the knowledge that at least frog lady and frog husband had a good day and will have a good and happy frog life together with their frog children

couple goals tbh 

(I don’t necessarily know how it works for frog people but I uh. guess they got busy quickly huh hahaha good thing mando didn’t turn up again until later)

[captainshorter]

Im gonna sort the All for the Game characters into Hogwarts Houses.

Starting with Neil Josten, definitely a Slytherin. Y'all can say everything about him but we all know he's cunning and ambitious as fuck. He also notice a lot of surroundings and noticed in a short period of time that Andrew picked him up instead of Aaron and that Andrew was off his prescribed drugs. He also at first doesn't really care about the foxes, when he wa son the run the only thing he really cared about was his Mom and saving their own life. He also has a real drive to accomplish his goals and he likes to control a situation. Also when he started to care about the foxes he would get hurt for them, and i think that a lot of people forget that Slytherins are actually really loyal and would literally kill for people and get hurt to protect them.

Next is Kevin Day. Okay so imma just say this Kevin is definitely not a Gryffindor and a Hufflepuff. I was debating between Ravenclaw and Slytherin but eventually Ravenclaw won. I think Day is a Ravenclaw because it's said multiple times in the book that Kevin plays exy with a strategy, he knows exactly what play works depending on which team he plays against, he's not like Neil who's depending on sheer strength and determination.

Aaron Minyard. This fucker was hard but i decided to put him in Ravenclaw too, i feel like he's a smart guy and who's really intelligent and all. (he was hard sorry guys😂✌️)

Nicky Hemmick (my baby). Okay it was a little debate between Gryffindor and Hufflepuff but i decided on Hufflepuff (there is no yellow:(() . Nicky is generally a happy and cheerful person, he's also sensitive and cares a lot about people. He always up to help the foxes and cousins. He is also really flirty and kind which makes people like him more.

Danielle 'Dan' Wilds. Gryffindor, definitely. She's a great leader (which is usually a trait for a Slytherin but gryffindors too), she motivates her team in a positive way. She's really passionate and tries to include her whole team from the beginning (even when the monsters didnt want to join she tried, that's mentioned right?)

Matthew Boyd. He is too a Gryffindor. Let just start with that Gryffindors are loyal as fuck and that Matt offered to intervene if Neil needs someone to kick Kevin's ass, knowing the risk that Andrew would kick his ass for it.

Renee Walker. It was a debate between Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw, both would fit for her but i think Ravenclaw. She's a relaxed person. The foxes go to her for advice. She's also really hardworking and a stabilizing factor for Andrew. She's generally respected by all of the team and no one argues with what she says. She literally changed the way she lived and that shows her dedication for things she really want. She usually sees the good in people, but knows when people aren't.

Allison Reynolds is a Slytherin. She literally takes pride in how she looks and isn't ashamed to throw around her money. She, too, is extremely loyal towards the people who are the closests to her. She is determined about exy and didnt want to quit even when the consequences were that her family cut her off. She has a haughty attitude, she acts likes she better than all the people around her.

Seth Gordon. He too is a slytherin, he has a bad attitude and openly shows his dislike towards his team. But i think if he were alive longer than he was, that we could have really found out what kind of Slytherin he was. I like to imagine, he would have started to care about the others too and that he too was really determined about beating the Raven's in the end. I do think that he would have been really protective about Neil, despite all his lies. And that he would start planning to murder Riko (together with Renee and Andrew) because he hurt Neil.

Andrew Minyard. Some of you are really gonna disagree with me on this but Andrew is a Slytherin. A big ass Slytherin. He protects what's his with everything he has, no matter what happens to himself or others, and like i mentioned with Neil, people underestimate how loyal Slytherins are. He's very determined to keep his promises and never breaks one, which makes him a reliable person, which most Slytherins are. He has a strict set of personal values and is determined to uphold that. Also shown with his mother's staged death, he is really resourceful, usually a teenager wouldn't be able to get away with it. He holds his life in no regards which is a little different than what most Slytherins do (but im a Slytherin and also dont hold my life in such a high regards or have a lot of pride). So with all of his other's trait i feel lile slytherin is the best house for him.

David 'coach' Wymack. Gryffindor (but kinda ravenclaw too) . I dont know exactly why i think this, but i think because he puts up a 'tough guy' act and responds to the foxes with a lot of sarcasm and threats even when he genuinely cares about them. He also respects all of the foxes with their secrets and doesn't force any answers out of them. He's seen as an idealistic because of his idea to give 'problemetic' kids a second chance. He also goes beyond his way to ensure his teams safety. He's really protective of them and overall just an amazing coach/person.

So this was it i dont have more but this is what i think:))

[five-wow]

considering what we now know, one of the last of these i might ever get to do: i watched 10.18! thoughts under the cut.

the previously on reminds us of adam’s yakuza problems, so i was braced for that, and then we get an establishing shot of the mcgarrett house instead! and suddenly steve is ironing a shirt on a towel in his kitchen again, and for a moment i was extremely confused because this is very clearly not the same shot as in the valentine’s episode but it’s also... the same thing?

BUT THEN, of course, we get steve raising a finger and going “don’t” just before we’re shown that danny is SITTING ON THE KITCHEN COUNTER WATCHING HIM, again i might add, and danny hasn’t even said anything yet but steve is already defensive and claiming that he likes ironing (which i love, that is a wonderful headcanon) and as far as déjà vus go, this is one i do not mind in the slightest. this is, in fact, the exact content i come here for.

okay wait, EVEN BETTER, danny seems to be sitting on the counter... reading a book? he is... in the kitchen, reading (writing in? idk) a book (in a room where there are zero chairs, which is usually where people locate their asses when they read books), while steve is also in the kitchen, ironing a shirt? dear lord. danny moved in and suddenly eddie wasn’t the only guy following steve from room to room in his own house anymore, i guess.

waiiit, steve is going on a date with emma. that is. not bad, just, so very confusing. (potentially very much a lie, omfg. that kind of confusing.)

HAH. i’m not the only one who went “?”, because danny doesn’t believe steve either.

fdjkfd steve asks alexa for his schedule to prove he’s telling the truth but what this really proves is that if it’s a lie, steve had the foresight and intention to put a fake appointment in his calendar, which i would in no way put past him. that’s the easiest thing in the world.

also, danny casually dropping in that he bought alexa for steve? i??? danny is just “casually” hanging out in rooms steve is hanging out in while it makes no sense for danny to be there, buying steve presents, pulling steve’s pigtails by questioning everything he does when he gets the chance, and that’s? that’s normal now?

junior!!! junior pops into the kitchen!

and he’s GOT A DATE TOO, which is a) WONDERFUL and b) a reason for danny to start describing tani which is fascinating and c) a reason for steve to say “well you know what, i think it’s great that you and tani are giving it a go, bud”, which is super cute and it’s A+ to know they have steve’s official stamp of approval (i mean, he’s their boss, that could’ve somehow gotten awkward), but also leads to a shot we get of danny pulling a face that’s kind of “ugh” and “yeah right” mixed into one and just. you know where i’m going with this. if you’re on this blog and you’ve read this post all the way to this point you definitely know where i’m going with this, but yes, this is absolutely danny mentally yelling that it sure is great THEY’RE giving it a go, steve, and doesn’t that potentially inspire you to ruminate on something going on in your own life, like, say, how you feel about your best friend and partner who also works on the taskforce with you and has a big mouth and whose name is oddly close to tani, actually, for that matter?

steve gets a call about shots fired at adam’s building and i’m just now realizing i’m only two minutes into this episode. i’ve spent at least ten times the amount of time rambling that i have watching anything. gonna need to shake that up a little bit.

fdjkfd lou and hpd enter adam’s apartment and they find at least three guys in actual gear, all dead, and adam curled up on the floor in what looks like sleep clothes, with blood all over him, and a) is adam literally superman now? but also b) even if i do accept that it’s possible he killed all of those guys before they managed to hit him anywhere vital even once, then how did he get smeared in blood that evenly all over? did he roll around on the floor before he curled up in the corner? i’m not an expert, but i feel like that’s not how a person would look after fighting off three attackers and presumably shooting most of them.

oh BOY. adam, with a crazy glint in his eyes: “i’ve been trying to dismantle kenji’s operation for months now. and i finally have the evidence to do it.” i both unexpectedly like this, and already low key hate it for how it’s probably going to be used as the show’s way of clearing adam from all the completely bonkers things he’s been doing all on his own with zero authorization or backup and bringing him back into the fold of five-0 as a somehow still trusted team member.

oh dang. opening credits do their thing, and then there’s no pause to check whether there’s even actually any actual evidence on that thumb drive adam was holding, but we just jump to swat, adam, lou and junior rolling up to kenji’s house and engaging in a huge shootout.

adam is now the lone dude pursuing kenji through the dark woods, who is also alone, of course. they brawl, adam gets the upper hand, and he gets a chance to shoot kenji which he doesn’t take, and then he calls for emts (good! this is good!) and extremely dramatically tells kenji “you were right not to trust me. i was working for five-0 the whole time”, and it just sounds like such a weird brag at this point. so i guess adam never went to the bad side again, suddenly? he just... keeps pretending he does over and over, and the criminals on this very small island keep being stupid enough to trust him, which honestly, is on them.

adam keeps bragging and oh gosh, tell me there’s a twist here and this is not just his victory lap. there’s so much of the episode left that something has to go very wrong about adam’s nice plan to wrap it all up neatly.

aha! it’s implied that letting kenji live might go badly for adam because kenji has information about adam that is bad for him. they did not completley forget that adam did crime stuff!

noelani seems to be at a funeral and we meet her parents and they don’t exactly seem super proud of her achievements, which i think we were told in the past, but now we’re shown, and it hurts my heart.

oh noooo. noelani gets to the open casket and immediately finds marks on the body that she clearly thinks are suspicious. that’s! not going to go well, gosh.

fdjkfdjkf adam and steve are in steve’s office and steve basically just went “so your plan to fight the yakuza was to join the yakuza” and adam very seriously goes “yes.”

steve is very not happy and adam doesn’t truly seem to grasp why and then steve’s phone rings and there’s a case, which is very nice timing for adam. saved by the bell.

so five-0 is on a ship that got robbed by pirates but it’s all very mysterious, and then they realize there might still be a pirate on board and they split into search parties and it’s junior and tani as one (who start talking about their missed date), and steve and danny as the other (who are not shown talking about dates, but who knows), and just. i love watching both of those duos work together, and the junior-tani vs steve-danny parallel is once again very in your face, hah.

tani gets locked in a kitchen with the pirate and junior is outside freaking out and that’s angsty but then junior and steve finally break through the door in a combined effort and they and danny rush in, only to find tani has already solved the problem without their help. YES. GOOD CONTENT.

jkfdfjdk over on the island, quinn is now helping noelani intimidate the coroner who wrote a bad report on noelani’s uncle’s death and that is ALSO very good content.

dfjdk lou welcomes most of the team back to hq and asks “anybody left pining”, which he follows up with the rest of a sentence about the high seas, but UH. YES. i know some people who might be pining.

lots of plot stuff happens and it’s genuinely interesting to watch, but also, oh my god, quinn and noelani are making me cry.

fjdkfd tani goes to meet one of the guys from the magnum pi crossover and he says he’s still waiting to hear back from quinn about the dinner he was hoping to have with her, and i like that because my lesbian quinn headcanon is still going strong.

quinn and noelani encounter a teen trying to get out of gang life who might be on a wealthy person’s hitlist, and my first thought is just. put the kid in the mcgarrett house. not only will he be instantly adopted by steve (and thereby gain a complicated network of siblings), but he’ll also be living in a place where he’s protected by not one, not two, but three members of five-0, two of whom are former seals. just. aside from the dire lack of beds, it would be so good.

jfkdslf, steve, danny and junior find the pirates and a room full of bags of powder that looks like drugs but probably isn’t, seeing as it killed the pirates, and then a small army rolls up outside and starts shooting at them, forcing them to take cover in the room with the powder, which starts dusting the air as the bags get shot. i love how the writers made the circumstances work here, omg.

I LOVE THE WAY THAT PLAYED OUT EVEN MORE, because it made a) for a very interesting shootout with clear stakes, and b) for a somehow both hilarious and potentially super angsty moment when danny is fairly affected by the powder, which has to bring up some bad sarin gas memories for him, and then steve shoots one last bad guy right over danny’s head and danny’s ears are ringing and he yells something and steve doesn’t understand him and just kind of pats his back in comfort, which in turn gives me strong driving-a-nuclear-bomb-through-the-woods, name-your-restaurant-Steve’s-please flashbacks, oh my gosh.

tani makes a REALLY LAME PIRATE JOKE and i LOVE HER.

quinn got the whole team together at a bar so noelani wouldn’t be sitting at home alone!!! the type of supportive female friendship i want to see!!!

and then quinn wants noelani to come dancing with her, but the magnum pi guy shows up and noelani tells him that maybe he could take her place. GAY QUINN IS SOARING. also, poor woman. this has strong vibes of danny setting steve up half against his will.

tani and junior watch quinn and the guy dance and decide to join and/or dance fight them in the best conversation ever, and it looks they’re all having SO MUCH FUN and it makes my heart happy.

what ALSO makes my heart happy is how much i enjoyed this episode, because i thought there would be a lot of yakuza stuff after that “previously on” and the beginning, but adam just kind of disappeared after his talk with steve, and suddenly there were two entirely unrelated plots which were both very neat and gave me so, so many character interactions i adored, ahh, how wonderful. i love season 10 so much.

[christophe-delorne]

Gregstophe Week: Day 1

LOVE // PARK // SOULMATE AU

TITLE: Man's Best Friend

WARNINGS: Swearing, mild violence.

AGE: Children

NOTES: This is sort of a prequel to my 'Good Dog' story I'm writing, but you don't need to have read 'Good Dog' to understand this. Just know Gregory is a dark character, the relationship between Gregory and Christophe is a bad one.

Christophe had never been one for games, but Gregory always insisted upon it. Gregory always enjoyed rallying up the rest of the school kids and playing some sort of battle between them, inviting new and creative ways to play. It was concerning to some of the teachers, but they never confronted Gregory's parents, to afraid to lose such a wealthy donor to their school. Christophe was used to it by now, even if they were only seven years old, the little Frenchman was well aware of the world around him and the true natures of people. Gregory was already a professional at hiding his own true nature from the world, except when it came to Christophe.

To the other kids, it was all fun and games, so as long as they were around he didn't have to worry too much. This time though, Gregory had a new idea. Christophe would be held hostage by the enemy, which was annoying, considering Christophe would rather die than play some helpless victim. Not that the other kids could properly contain him, they very well knew it too. Christophe wasn't exactly the nicest kid around, taking fights too far, even sending kids to the hospital a couple of times before the teachers could pull him off the victim. So pretending that he was helpless grating on his nerves.

Today was Gregory's birthday party though, doubling down on the fact Christophe really had no choice in the matter. So he had to sit there in the sand with his hands 'secured' in plastic cuffs. It was stifling hot in the park too, the playground equipment getting to the point that it was uncomfortable to touch really. The kids didn't care though, too wrapped up in their imaginary battles, storming the so called 'castle' where Christophe was locked away. Of course, it had to start with some long drawn out speech from Gregory, followed by negotiations and then eventually a fight.

Christophe looked up at his 'guard', one of the older kids who'd been held back a grade, slightly bigger than most which was why he was picked for the guard choice. Christophe was scrawny to begin with, though not as soft as the other kids his age. Already he was training, his destination in life had already been picked out for him from birth. He came from a long line of French mercenaries, nothing that was exactly to be proud of either, deplorable people from what his mother said whenever she thought Christophe wasn't listening in. Eventually, when he met up with Gregory, he started to embrace it.

"Could you get ze fuck away from me, you smell like a fat fuckin' pig." Christophe bit in annoyance, his accent thick on his voice. Most of the kids had tried to make fun of him for it, until they realized Christophe's temper was not something to be messed with. Now though, Gregory had told him to behave, to not fight back. That didn't mean he couldn't insult someone. He couldn't help himself, he was bored and wanted to goad the other boy into doing something, anything.

"What'd you call me?" The other kid seemed surprised, it wasn't often in these posh schoolkids heard such language. It was always surprising to hear it, no matter how much Christophe swore and cursed and spat on their polished shoes. Though, just because these kids were from rich families did not mean their manners while around adults remained while it was just kids. Some were tolerable enough, others tended to have verbal fights about who's parents were better than the others. Mostly it was non-physical except when it came to Christophe. Then again, his family wasn't exactly rich. The only reason he was here was because Gregory insisted upon it.

"Clean out your fuckin' ears. Or maybe you're just zhat fuckin' stupid." Christophe bared his teeth, like some sort of wild animal that Gregory had taken in as some sort of project he could fix. However, Gregory was doing the exact opposite of what people assumed.

Instead of some sort of dumb ass remark from the boy, Christophe's head was jerked to the side from the blow of a punch. He hadn't expected the other kid to hit him, dazing him but only briefly. He felt pain flare over his dirtied cheek, making his lower jaw ache. The kid had power, Christophe had to give him that. He took a moment to work his jaw, testing to make sure nothing was wrong before speaking up again with a hint of humor in his voice.

"Is zhat 'ow they hit around 'ere? Like your fuckin' grandma taught you?" Another hit to the face. He deserved that, he always had a bit of a lip to him but he didn't regret it either. He used everything he had in his arsenal to hurt his target, if he couldn't use his fists, it would have to be with his words.

"Not so tough when your tied up are you?" Ah, so that's where the courage to hit him came from, the other boy thought he was safe because of the flimsy plastic handcuffs. Was he really that dense?

"Now that is where I will have to disagree, good sir." Gregory's voice cut in, his voice having a sophisticated forced tone as he seemed to still be in play mode. "I told him to play nice and like a good dog, he obeyed." The other boy turned around to face Gregory, but that had been the wrong decision, it aimed his face right into one of Gregory's fists. Christophe was well aware of Gregory's fighting capabilities, usually ending up being his sparing partner during training. With Gregory's quick mind, he was able to determine the right angle and force to apply to his hit to send the other boy into the sand.

"And thusly, the hero saves the damsel in distress by defeating the dragon." Gregory dusted off his hands as if he managed to do some great feat. Certainly he impressed the other kids who were cheering over their victory, but quickly diverted when they heard one of the adults call them, drawing them in with drinks and snacks. Gregory moved over to crouch before Christophe, already that olive skin had a faintly darker tint to it, not yet a bruise but it would soon be. Gregory lifted his hand up, lightly touching Christophe's abused cheek, easily seen as something of pity or affection.

Christophe yanked at his own arms, breaking the plastic and reaching up to shackle one hand around Gregory's wrist. "I'm not fuckin' doing zhat again, 'ear me?!"

Gregory mocked a pout. "Oh come now, Chris. You didn't feel your heart flutter when I saved you from danger? Was it not love at first sight?" Gregory's brows knitted together as if genuinely offended that Christophe did not immediately swoon over him. Christophe was not like the girls in their class, who believed in that charming smile and those lying eyes. Gregory had been born to hold a facade of the ideal person. Elegant, sophisticated, brave and caring. It was easier to get his way when everyone thought he was the good guy. Christophe was well aware of all of these things and yet he couldn't help that small stirring within him. Something that Gregory all too easily preyed upon.

Christophe was used to it from his mother, who pretended to be the exemplary mother you'd seen in some sort of sitcom. Caring, loving, with a sweet voice like honey. She didn't use it maliciously, only to keep her sanity just enough to raise a child she didn't want, a child from a man who'd left her and ruined her life. At nights, when she though Christophe was asleep, he could hear her talk, muttering under her breath, needing to vent out her frustration that had built up over the day, it would only be a matter of time until that frustration broke her. Christophe was just waiting for that day.

"Fuck off." Christophe stated, his glare adverted to the ground, not wanting Gregory to see anything in them. In situations like this, when no one was around, was the most dangerous between them. Christophe needed to keep his guard up, losing this kind of game would be devastating on his mind, soul, and heart. As much as he claimed not to have one, he did and Gregory all too easily found it and every so often, he'd give it a squeeze just to see Christophe squirm.

"Aw, you get quite adorable when you get all stubborn like this." Gregory reached up, prodding Christophe's injured cheek, delivering a spark of pain. Always with the bullying from Gregory and there was nothing he could do about it. That he did want to do about it. He was more aggressive, more unpredictable and violent, as long as he didn't give Gregory time to think, he could certainly over power him. But he didn't. He couldn't.

It wasn't because Gregory was all soft and needed Christophe to protect him, but it was because Gregory let Christophe see a side of him no one else had, no matter how dark it was, it made Christophe feel special. They were what would be considered as best friends. Then again, a man's best friend was his dog. A dog would always forgive, would always be loyal if shown just the slightest amount of what could be perceived as affection. Gregory had given him a purpose in life, a life he cursed and cursed God for giving him. Gregory didn't need Christophe, but yet he kept the little French boy close. He would explain his goals, talk to Christophe in a manner he would with no one else. They were both very aware of their true selves.

A childish love some would call it. Naive little children who played house together and their parents would coo and take pictures of how sweet they were. That wasn't something they played, it was always dealing in something violent, sparing with weapons or with just their hands. Studying and plotting out make believe wars. Every year though, these little games were starting to get more and more intense and Christophe was beginning to realize how much Gregory liked it. It was a dangerous notion to think that Gregory would be anything others would wish from him. To become some political leader, guiding the country into prosperity when in reality Gregory would to lead it through hell first.

Christophe released Gregory's hand and pushed it aside. "I am not one of your little bitches, Gregory." He pushed himself up onto his feet, sand falling off his baggy brown pants and green shirt. Christophe had never been one to wear the school uniform, plenty have tried to force him to do so. Eventually the school gave up after Gregory's insistence they just leave Christophe be. Gregory was quick to stand up and take a step back just to avoid the downfall of sand, not particularly wanting to get dirty.

"No, of course not. You're much more special to me than any of them could ever be, my dear." The last two words were toned sickeningly sweet, something that made Christophe's lip curl in distaste. "But, for now we should go join the rest of the group. It is my own birthday party, so I should at least make an appearance to blow out the candles." Gregory held out a gloved hand, offering for Christophe to take it. The French boy was tempted to ignore it, holding hands with Gregory was a very bad decision. However, not doing so would incite his wrath later on and Christophe was already tired enough from today's antics.

With a heavy exhale, Christophe took Gregory's hand, letting the Brit tug him along after him. Green eyes watched blond curls, so elegantly styled even after all the playing they'd done. With the knowledge that he couldn't pull his gaze away from Gregory, he knew he was doomed. Gregory would certainly be the death of him.

[k-pham]

hi y’all it’s a and I’m continuing my trend of never doing anything valid and playing the same character with different faceclaims. also this blog is so... empty rn pls skjdfshd

Meet Kiet Anh “Kit” Pham. 17. Slytherin. Seventh year. DE.

(+) sensitive, loyal, charming, organized

(-) glib, arrogant, spoiled, impulsive, reckless, insecure, misguided, offensive

Make no mistake. You were never good.

From the start, you were a menace. As your mother tells it, you started to wail the instant you took your first breath—and you haven’t stopped since.

As soon as you were able to walk, you tore through your mother’s rose garden, grabbed fistfuls of thorns to rip out the flowers. For your seventh birthday, when gave she gave you the wrong gift, you smashed your grandmother’s heirloom vase against the wall. You’ve always been more trouble than you were worth. You’ve always been a terror.

But, let’s be honest— that’s not what you wanted to be.

So what if cruelty has always been your first resort? If consequence is still far from your mind? You learned the taste of blood before honey, salt before sweet. Your first bite tasted bitter, and the sting took time to fade.

You were never good. But that only was because you didn’t know how to be—

-          

When the divorce happened, you watched your mother pack his things from the corner. When she leaned in to tell you goodbye, you flinched. You told her you hated her. But that was only because you were afraid.

You see, being a monster is easy. And admitting you care is hard.

You were never good. No, that’s for certain. You’ve said too many bad things. You’ve slammed too many doors. You’ve thrown too many fits.

But oh, how you’ve always wished you were.

kiet anh pham (nicknamed kit) was born to parents who, he was mostly certain, never loved him.

it’s not like they were incapable of it. they tried their hardest. even as their own marriage fell apart, there was still love there. at least for his younger sister, mailan, for for his other siblings.

but that was easy. everyone loved mailan. she was cute and soft and she did all the right things. kit- was-, well, kit. he had never really made it easy for them.

he was the only son of a high-society pureblooded family and he acted like it: rich and spoiled, he grew up a little monstrous and more than a little disrespectful. he would do things without really thinking of the consequences and make more trouble than he really meant to.

looking back, he was probably just acting out because he knew what was coming. he knew his parents were going to leave each other. and he, well, all he ever knew was the only time they ever did anything together was when they yelled at him.

in retrospect, all that did was probably make the divorce happen faster. 

but he didn’t know.

he just wanted them- to tell him no. 

he didn’t think they would really leave.

honestly, for kit, the only thing good that came out of his parent’s divorce is- z. 

while the two of them had known of each other before and might have even considered each other friends, when he gained a new brother, kit saw a light at the end of a tunnel. 

it was all fun and games at first. they shared a bunk bed and a room. z taught him about pokemon and beyblades and kit did his best to pretend not to be interested. they played aurors and robbers. they got up to tons of mischief, stayed up way too late, talked way too much. so, though kit didn’t stop being trouble, it was- the best thing in the world to have someone all too willing to share the blame and laugh. he had always liked being a brother, but, with z, he found that he loved– having one.

tw abuse mention and then, i guess, bc all good things come to an end.  he got old enough to understand what had happened to z and his mother. and, filled with deep-rooted hatred for the muggles that raised z, unable to reconcile that anger into anything else but broad generalizations, he ended up joining the death eaters. 

it was actually a targeted recruitment (wanted connection here, i suppose). the phams and diggorys were well-connected and well-off, but not de-aligned. someone offered kit guidance and purpose and preyed upon his already existent hatred for muggles and voila! he signed up— and (unbeknownst to him at the time) signed away z’s, mailan’s and his own futures.

i think right now– to put it in the most concise terms. kit is having– growing pains. z has withdrawn from the family, doing work for the de higher ups that he clearly doesn’t care to tell kit about. mailan is working as a double agent for the de, in direct contact with the student leaders, and there’s so much that she has to hide. safe to say, they’re both doing- better than he is. 

so what if he’s jealous? that he joined up first and everyone else in his family is doing bigger things than he is. so what if he’s sad? he no longer has the confidante and friend he used to have. he’s the oldest brother and none of his siblings even need him anymore. and so what if he’s scared? that all of them are in over their heads. that he got them into a bad decision. that—  mailan and z going to do what his mother did and leave him the second they find out what the world is like without him.

he’s never made it easy to be loved, he knows, but that’s never made it hurt any less.

this time, kit is thinking things through. he’s taking precautions. before his mother left, kit begged for him to stay. he lashed out. he threw a tantrum. he cried. he ended up saying some things that can never be taken back. that was pathetic. this time, he won’t do any of that.

so what if z wants to be distant? go. kit doesn’t care. 

so what if mailan is risking her life every single day? that’s all fine. kit won’t worry.

so what if the death eaters don’t want him in their uber-secret and top-level ranks? okay. kit has other things to do.

within the last year, kit has proclaimed his lifelong goal is to photosynthesize, a concept, he entirely doesn’t grasp but has heard of through his vague understanding of muggle science. “drink, soak in the sun and breathe good? sounds okay to me.” 

he’s very purposely going to not care about things. he’s going to do nothing that doesn’t benefit him directly. he’s not going to care at all. he was never good at being loved, never good at being good— so now he won’t even try. 

it’s a good plan. after all, in this world, you can really only be certain of one thing: people leave. you have to look out for yourself.

more rando points and introspection

to break things down in the most concise way, I think I need to talk about the connections and difference between Kit’s actions and his feelings. i think that kit has big feelings and just no way of communicating them. he’s afraid of looking weak, of being vulnerable. he’s afraid that he’ll give them something else not to love.

fuccboi hypebeast naruto runner mode x3000

kit absolutely dresses like a Naruto character 100% of the time

im mostly thinking abt this meme  but also he would dress like kakashi n sasuke in a heartbeat

um? how to say– a lil bitch. literally a gremlin.  a virgin, but like… in that lies about it bc he’s ashamed and insecure about it. if he got laid once… maybe it would solve all his and his family’s problems. probably not. but lbr… he wouldn’t mind it.

lies about a lot more than that too, just to be clear.

biggest lies are “i DON’t LOVE u.” and “I DON’t CARE.”  but nearly everything he says is a lie.

“mUGGLES n muggleborns ARE BACKWARDS and THEY HAVE NOTHING REDEEMABLE about THEM” a lie, first off just in the not true sense, but also kit doesn’t even really believe that. he likes the muggle things that z has shown him and also, likes z, even though he is not a pureblood.

that being said has literally no understanding of muggle concepts beyond what z has told him and even then grasps very little

kit vs catholicism is… v bad

i can really see kit, like when his parents were fighting, getting in between them with tears in his eyes. “i’m the prince of this house! and i’m telling you not to fight anymore and also you have to stay together for me!!!” this equal parts entitlement, ludicrousness and … just desperation is… altogether kit for me.

even tho mailan and z are the MOST IMPORTANT PEOPLE In THE WORLD TO HIM, he has absolutely put them down publicly, sometimes (recently) even to their face. it’s his way of saying im insecure and i don’t care that u guys are leaving me and being much more accomplished than me

yeah he a soft DUMb. SO WHAT ABOUT IT.

·        

·        Bc I’m at character saturation, I literally have to use my other characters to describe him so here we go.

probably most like cress— in that they’re both opinionated, misguided and committed to the de. They’re just… misguided in different ways. Cress doesn’t really lie about the way he feels. Cress genuinely thinks what he is doing is right. He thinks the sacrifices he has made are worth it. Cress has some level of altruism (even tho…he is selfish too). Cress is smart and calculated and, well, frankly impressive. Kit is the opposite of all of that. He’s reactionary, impulsive, selfish and… inadequate in so many ways.

one thing of note is that he can’t talk himself out of situations like Cress can. Kit makes mistakes— and has to live with them. Cress doesn’t blame himself but will “accept responsibility”. Kit blames himself.

kit is also way less behaved that cress. cress will make a bad prank and laugh if he stands by it and then, say sorry after a little bit. kit will do something absolutely awful and feel awful and still laugh while hating himself wildly. kit will also never apologize.

like rose, he’s having a truly rough time with growing up. he wishes things could go back to the way they were. but unlike rose, he refuses to cling to his childhood innocence. he’s pushing himself to grow up way faster than he’s actually comfortable with and that’s really causing intense angst. kit is exactly the kind of person who has and will make fun of rose for things that even he himself are guilty of. 

apparently I also have a thing for older siblings bc … rose, jasper and kit are all really protective of their siblings. But while rose and jasper mainly manifest this in healthy ways (if anything, probably … a little too overprotective), kit is a tiny lil shitball full of irrationality. bursts of being way too controlling and, when that’s not received well, sulking in a corner.

lowkey… he’s awful, but, because he’s motivated purely out of irrationality and spite and not logic, he’s my de character with the most chance for redemption.he’s … awful. he acts awful. he thinks muggles n muggleborns r backwards n dont deserve rights. he’s half cocky quips and half … just like offensive comments. gross. when ur a pureblood rich boy, u can care about literally nothing and say whatever u want get away with it. the only problem is… he does care. he cares so much. he’s worried about his bb sister and his step bro, but doesn’t have the emotional strength to show it. he worries about the future n what he’s going to do. but most of all, he worries that if people know that he cares… that they’ll think he’s weak (which tbh he is).

wanted connections

tba

terrible de friends!!! photosynthesize with kit

good friends !!! pls tell kit he’s being awful. this one is limited bc... he truly is awful!!!

a de mentor!!!!! v important for kit’s sense of self!!! bc this mentor approached him asnd was like wassup!! wanna have a sense of community and got a lot of misplaced anger??? kit: hell yeah my dude also i got two juicy siblings that can convert with me

a tutor! this girl only plays dums!!! kit no es tan inteligente como cress o rose n el necesita ayuda!!!!

[need1etail]

My Opinion of Redtail’s Debt

I’m writing these out while reading the book so I don’t forget anything! This is just a way to motivate me to read. This is really long sorry. WARNING SPOILERS UNDER THE CUT

Chapter One

I liked it! Not much to say here it was kind of a boring chapter, not much happened. I kind of like how Redpaw seems admire Tigerclaw but can also tell he’s just too ready to fight. I don’t have much to say cause I read it a couple days ago and can’t remember much lol.

Chapter Two

- Wasn’t White-eye born with one blind eye? Am I just dumb?

- I like how Red is a little awkward around Sparrow and White. Like they’re being all lovey-dovey and he’s just like “I’ll . . Just be over there I guess … ”

- “[Redpaw] couldn’t help the warm curl of admiration that ran through him. He’s so brave.” Redpaw do you have a little crush? Honestly though … The way Red is talking about Tiger gives me little crush feels. I don’t ship it of course it’s just kind of cute. THIS IS FUTURE DASH SORRY I JUST REALIZED THEY’RE RELATED! I will say that I enjoy Red’s admiration of Tigerclaw though ;w; Please disregard any crush things you see in the future, I did not realize they were related I’m so sorry. in my au they’re not related so I hope you can forgive me cause I forgot that my AU isn’t canon eheheh sorry

- I wish Spottedpaw and Redpaw had more of an interaction than just “Here’s your herbs stay safe”. I like Willowpaw so far honestly?

- I miss the forest territories :(!

- I’ll kick that hawk’s ass how dare he hurt my son

Chapter Three

- “‘Don’t leave me,” [Redpaw] whimpered.“ DON’T LEAVE THE POOR BOY PLEASE.

- I like Sparrow’s interactions with Redpaw, especially when he thinks he might be hurt. He really seems to care for his apprentice.

- I really love Willowpaw. Scared for her brother :(!

- "If there’s anything I can ever do for you, T-Tigerclaw, just name it,” … “I owe you everything.” That seems like it’s gonna come and bite Red in the ass :/

- Tigerclaw obviously is just trying to get on Redpaw’s good side and I love it

- “You owe me more than one,” [Tigerclaw] purred cheerfully, “you owe me your life!” Please don’t turn that on him I know your evil but my poor son doesn’t deserve this!

Chapter Four

- Adderfang is a good dad! Supportive of his son! I love him!

- Runningkit and Mousekit I adore them.

- I know 100% that RunningRed is not going to be canon cause the editors suck, but honestly? I just wanna take this time to say that I absolutely adore them.

- Tigerclaw is scaring me lol

- AWW SWIFTBREEZE! I love Red, Willow’s, and Spotted’s good parents ;w;!

- I forgot the Clan thought Misty, Stone, and Moss were Blue’s and Thrush’s for a sec. I wish Thrushpelt could have seen them grow up :(

- Bluefur is so strong I adore her

- Tigerclaw’s taking Redtail out hunting and I’m nervous …

- Aw I love Sorrelpaw!!

- Don’t make fun of my son Tigerbitch

-

SORRELPAW

- YOU TELL HIM STAGLEAP! NO ONE HURTS SORRELPAW

- Please don’t hurt Stagleap ;w;

- Hhhh oh no Red and Tiger’s relationship seems really abusive and I hope it doesn’t turn out like SH ;n;

Chapter Five

- Runningkit I love you

- My poor Redson

- Sunstar don’t be too harsh please

- BCJAJXJX TIGERCLAW SHUT THE HELL YOUR FACE SORRELPAW DID IT ON ACCIDENT

- Red speak up please! Poor boy.

- Noooo my little red boy stop. You don’t owe Tigerclaw anything

- I’m glad Sunstar was reasonable enough to talk to Heaterstar

- Talltail! My boy!!

- Tigerclaw and Thistleclaw are little bitches I hate them

- Sunstaaar just listen to what Heather has to say

- Crookedstar and Cedarstar don’t want anything to do with Wind and Thunder’s drama

- I love Stagleap. He seems really level-headed but firm. I can’t remember him much from Tallstar’s Revenge heck

- I honestly like that Redtail sees Tigerclaw as a good cat so he can’t bring himself to say that he was wrong. It’s … Hard sometimes. I understand.

- Stagleap is a good, reasonable boy <3

- “I owe him everything … But does that mean i have to follow him, no matter what?” HHH that hits a little too close to home honestly

- Lol why wouldn’t Sunstar believe Redtail? He was there, plus he knows that Tigerclaw is too aggressive for his own good. Redtail just talk to him.

- Sunstar I love you but you’re a bit of a dummy :/

- Ooohh I honestly love Tigerclaw in this book so far. He’s pretty chilling. But uh LEAVE MY POOR SON ALONE

Chapter Six

- I like Brindleface and Frostfur’s relationship

- Poor Red boy :(

- YES REDDY CALL TIGERCLAW OUT FOR HIS BULLSHIT

- YESSSS GASLIGHTING Sorry I just like abused characters. But it seems like Redtail is gonna be treated the exact same as Spotted so :/? That’s real disappointing. Remember, if someone is abusing you please seek help! You aren’t obligated to stay with them if they’re hurting you, physically or emotionally!

- Don’t hurt the elders and queens please :(

- Honestly with Bluefur’s past and the death of her mother, I’m surprised she’d want to go through with this? Come on Erins she’s probably traumatized by WindClan’s camp.

- Only … Only six cats? This is a whole camp you’re barging into guys

- I really hope Tigerclaw and Thistleclaw don’t kill anyone

- I love WindClan’s camp honestly I love WindClan

- Aren’t Red and Patch brothers? I kind of wish they had more of a brotherly relationship :/

- I lied they’re cute

- HXJSXJ “WE’RE NOT GOING TO HURT YOUR KITS” THRUSHPELT SAYS AS HIS CLAN ATTACKS WINDCLAN CAMP

- Poor Ryestalk!!

- :( I feel bad for the kits. Poor things are losing their den

- Barkboy <333

- Bluefur learned her lesson about the med den

- Redtail it’s not your fault!

- BEAT TIGER’S ASS STAGLEAP

- Poor Plumclaw and Ryestalk. I hope they come out okay

- I LOVE YOU REDTAIL YOU’RE SO BRAVE

- Fuck yeah I Redtail stare him down

- YOU TELL HIM REDSON! <3333

Chapter Seven

- Idk if they’ve said this before but “They haven’t changed a whisker” is my favorite phrase from Warriors idk why

- You go Redtail don’t let Tigerclaw scare you

- Yeah I hate the fact that Sand isn’t Redtail’s daughter anymore :/ It might have been because now Squirrel and Bramble aren’t related anymore (which I’m sure they are somehow) But I wanted to see a cute relationship between Sand and Red!

- Darkstripe has a thorn in his tail because he is a thorn in the tail.

- :( Redtail don’ gooo

Chapter Eight

- I wish we could have seen some more Dust and Red interactions. Maybe see how Dustpaw was before Darktail got his dirty paws on him?

- Ehhh Ravenpaw’s OOC? But I can excuse it cause he hasn’t been traumatized yet

- I wish we saw that Ravenpaw and Redtail were closer maybe? Just cause I always liked the idea that Ravenpaw really looked up to Redtail and wished he could ask Bluestar if she could have him and Dustpaw swap mentors

Chapter Nine

- nooooo Ravenpaw would never say that ugh

- Tigerclaw leave Ravenpaw alone! He may not be the Ravenpaw i know but FUCK OFF

- What?? What happened to Oakheart was killed by falling rocks? didn’t everyone in RiverClan agree to that? Was their pride hurt so they lied???? What happened to “It would be immoral for a deputy to kill another deputy”?????? Ugh okay now I’m angry

Chapter Ten

- Ooo I love the murder scene though. It’s almost exactly how I imagined it

- NOOOOO YOU CAN’T DO THE UNFULFILLED PROMISES TO ME DUSTPAW WAS WAITING FOR HIM ;n:!!!!

- I love the scene where he’s being guided to StarClan by Sunstar omg . I’ve been waiting for a POV character in StarClan and even if this is the closest we’ll get, I’m happy

- OOH THAT last scene was good. Firepaw! I love him.

OKAY SO last thoughts:

Someone said that she-cats were brutalized so Redtail could seem like a good guy and I didn’t see it? Who were the she-cats??

Also, I think some people hated the fact that Redpaw admired Tigerclaw but. I liked that part. It was interesting. And it made sense! Tigerclaw was a strong, brave warrior who hadn’t shown his true intentions yet so. It makes sense that Redpaw admired him

Overall it was . . . good? Better than everyone said it’d be. I didn’t love it I didn’t hate it. It was just eh. I’d read it again. Redtail was a good cat who genuinely seemed loyal and brave, just like we wanted.

I’ll do Tawnypelt’s Clan next!!

[latina4rmbx]

Tomorrow isn’t Promised

I saw an ad for a game on Facebook.  A clip really.  There were couples staring at each other.  Some crying, some laughing nervously.  All I remember was this one profound question:  "If this were to be our last conversation, what is one thing you’d never want me to forget?”

A seed was born from the question.  I figured, I’d ask people.  At first, I asked the closest people to me, then I expanded the circle.  Needless to say, I freaked a whole bunch of people out.  Before I get to the responses I want you to know that a lot of these are deeply personal, so I will not include names.  Some people who follow me on here, MAY know some of the individuals, but not all. 

I am NOT sick.  I am totally ok.  I found the question so profound, I HAD to ask it.  I have no regrets.

If there was a way to share all of the screen shots, I swear I would but trust me, there were just so many.

Some people responded with just 1 thing.  Some people responded with long beautiful messages.  They are all appreciated and I will forever hold them dear to my heart.

All, but 4 people, received a response to the question from me.  I won’t divulge my responses because as soon as I pressed send, they no longer belonged solely to me.  Just know a good response for most was:  you made me cry.  

I’ll be typing the responses to the question.  Some people gave multiple responses so I may give both.  

I had a conversation with my confidante and she says that this is amazing.  Sort of like a living eulogy. She asked me if I knew these things the people were saying.  I explained to her that in truth, I never really thought about it.  In the end I learned 2 valuable lessons: 

Younger males mainly speak of themselves.

You never really know the profound impact you have had on another persons life.  You’ll see what I mean.

Without further ado, here are the responses, in no particular order:

To value your worth.  To never forget that I love you and the kids.  That you’re a great writer.  A great friend.  A great mother.  I can’t name just one.  Don’t forget to give your friends a blanket.

That I love you & I know I was difficult growing up but I always loved you even when it might’ve felt like I didn’t.  And that I forgive you.

That I greatly appreciate your genuine friendship and you will always hold a special place in my heart.  and that’s the truth.

That I love you

How much I love you

How genuine and good-hearted you’ve always been, no matter what life has thrown at you.  Your situation never changed your heart, in Janee’s words, you’ve stayed golden.

One thing?  That I love you.

That I love you.  Why are you talking like that?

That I am always here for you and that I have and have always had. nothing but love for you.

Sheesh, I don’t know if I interpreted this question correctly but:   If this is our last conversation because you are on your death bed I would say:  In life, it sometimes feels like the world was simply horrible.  Nothing was good and it was full of hate and anger.  Thank you for being someone that gave hope just by being her positive self.  I know that because you were my hope when the world seemed horrible with simple gestures.  May not have changed the world, but it saved me some days.  If it was because we fell off or some other shit:  You was always lit.  Stay golden.  Don’t change for nobody.  I wish you the best.

I’m your child.  No matter how much u deny me !!  and I love you!

I appreciate all the kindness and support you’ve always shown me.

I would want you to know how much I love you and how much you’ve impacted my life in such a positive manner.  How much I love that you’re not just my aunt but you’re like my best friend, and how I feel that you out of most people understand me on a different level.

You prob the funniest chick I know the pleasure of knowing.  There’s your one thing.

Omg don’t say that but I would say you are a beautiful person inside and out and the world is a better place because you are in it.  You have a beautiful family and friends that love you.

Id never want you to forget how much I GENUINELY appreciate our conversation.  How you were there for me and gave me so much words of wisdom when I was going thru the worst time of my life.  How you satisfied my craving of violets when I was pregnant with Mychael..and how much you make me laugh thru social media because you are so funny!

That you really will be missed and that I wish our friendship happened sooner so I’ll have more time with you!!!  You are greatly appreciated.

I love you with all of my heart.  You’re an inspiration to me.  Words could not describe what you are to me.  More than a cousin, more than a sister.  Awilda Lee was the brightest thing in our lives when she came along. Thank. you for her.  Thank you for having unconditional love for me that my Wela had.  I have very fond memories at 533.  You’re in almost all of them.  From music out the window to your word processor and all your CD’s. My love of music comes from you.

That I love you like MY blood sister!

Us when we was living with grandma on 139th street, while you play Richard Marx “i’ll be Right Here Waiting for You.”  Til this day when I hear that song I see you playing it. I love you.

That Jesus loves you so much He gave His life for you in order to offer you forgiveness for all the wrong you’ve done & a way for you to live with Him eternally in His presence & that its. never to late to give him a change because He’s always by you waiting.

That you are very loved.  Good morning honey.

Jesus loves you!

If this were my last conversation with you I would want you to never forget that you are an amazing person from the first time I met you as Dr. D secretary til now, the only thing that has changed is your hair color and your age lol.  I genuinely have love for you.  Your free spirit and outspokenness is always welcome in my world.  I know you said one thing but I had more than one thing lol.  Oh and you’re a bomb writer.  So when you publishing your 1st book?

That you were an amazing friend that honestly left an imprint in my life.

What an awesome job. you’ve done with Joaquin!!

Morning lol your smart mouth and trouble shooting skills.

I wouldn’t want you to forget how absolutely amazing I think you are.  You were there for me when I needed you most.  Helping me with my son and a shoulder to cry on.  For that, I will be forever grateful.

Fine.  I’d want you to never forget that not only do we have the same teeth, that we’re cousins on both sides of our family and that you’re first daughter looked exactly like me when she was younger.  And that although we don’t speak much, I love you more than anything.

My gap

That I love and you’re my favorite person in life and I am grateful that God put us together and I hope we together in the next life too.

How hard we laughed together.

How I never judged anyone.  Good morning. (I think they mean how u, meaning me, never judged anyone)

How much I love you.

How much I love and appreciated you.  

How valuable I feel our friendship is and how much your wisdom and guidance has helped me in very difficult times.  I appreciate and love you very much.

That I love you

That although growing up we were not close.  I still have a great deal of love for you and I absolutely enjoy every single lil time we share together.  and our sex talk at times (they meant we talk about it, not that we talk it to each other)

That I love you.  That you are special strong funny.

That you are love

That I love you unconditionally because you are extremely unique.

That you have a warm and tender heart and a fierce outer shell.  You are an incredibly strong and smart woman.

That you are an absolutely amazing human being & that you deserve all the happiness and love that this world has to offer.  Never stop smiling.

That I love you and everything about you.

You will forever be my favorite bookworm.  You’ve written your own book in my life.  “That loyal friend” by OV.  You speak my love language you always have and I am just as honored to have you in my corner.  I love you. my dear friend.  Sincerely, KR.

Everyday of my. younger life, all I wanted to do was find you guys!  Once I did, I felt I was becoming complete!  Meeting you guys when you y’all came to Cali was EVERYTHING I could have asked for and more!  You guys are ones I work for EVERYDAY!  Once I make this generational wealth, I got y’all!  I promise you that!

I know it’ll sound cliche but I don’t thin you will ever truly know and understand how truly and deeply I care and love you.  You helped pull me out of really dark place, you are an amazing soul.  You are one of the rare ppl that i actually think of when i think of love and friendship and i thank you for being a part of my life.

That you’re my Binobo (a species of monkey - look it up)

When I would nag you on the 1st of the month.

That you should never forget how much you are loved.  That your generosity of spirit and goodness far surpasses any flaws.  That you are sooooo much more worthy, than you think you are.  That I would never want you to settle for anyone who isn’t a really good person to you and the kids.  Most importantly, I would pass on something that my Great Aunt once told me to always remember...If it doesn’t bring you peace, then it isn’t from God.  In my experience, those words have always proven true.  You know in your heart and it your gut - there is a very definitive, distinct sense of peace, when things are right.  God only wants that sense of calm and joy, and He gave us the instinct to recognize the difference. (AMEN!)

I truly don’t like the tone of this question.  But it would be your honesty.  You’ve always been so open and honest about your story and it was a breath of fresh air for me.

Your humor and smile is always up lifting.

Awwwww.  You are my counselor.  You always have the best advice you are the sassiest glamma I know and the queen of essential oils lol.  you add a special something to the world that only you can.  A tell it like it is type of chick, who always keeps it 100%.  It’s been such a pleasure having you in my world.

If it’s a thought about you, it wold be that I thought were smarter, funnier and at least a little better looking than the average bear.  If it’s a memory, besides the short jokes and dancing, I would want you to remember, well it’s a toss up.  Remember the time I lied about cooking food I brought in lunch, that it was really Lydia who made it, and she busted me.

I’d say thank you for being the parents that you are and thank you for allowing me to influence your little treasure and for keeping in contact with me.

Don’t forget to put me in your will.  Lol just playing.  That I love you of course.

How much I love you and thank you for always being neutral even if you’re his coworker lol.

I’d want you to know...While there is a great physical distance between us, I feel close to you.  I love that you had a special relationship with my mom and hope that we can have our own.  Big hugs to you.

1.  That I love you.  2.  that I would like you to raise my kids if anything happened to me or my wife.

That my heart was pure whether they were good or bad to me.  To be honest I just want people to know that I’ve always been a good soul and did my best to be there for those who needed me, just a selfless individual.

You’re the best grandma Saniyah will have from marriage you love her like she’s really your daughters child and I love it.  wouldn’t want it any other way.

Nuestra amistad (TRANSLATION: our friendship)

I love you

Never forget that I love you and God is good.

I don’t want it to be our last conversation but one thing that i don’t want you to forget is that you called me Thunderbuddy.

That I love you.  That you’re an amazing person!  Wait that’s two things right?  LOL

Never forget who got you high.

1.  Don’t forget to brush your teeth (stephen’s voice) 2>. Don’t forget to keep being unapologetically yourself.

How cute and funny I am lol

I wouldn’t want you to forget the laughs we’ve shared.  Our birthday body suits.

Thank you for reading,

XOXO

[bluekayanite]

Theory: Are Gems A.I.s?

I personally believe that Gems are roughly the equivalent of androids, or other forms of artificial intelligence we’ll often see sci-fi.  Here’s why.  (Fair warning: I get into some science, including computer science.  I tried not to get too confusing but I make no guarantees.)

EDIT: Part 2

Gems aren’t entirely considered living

Okay, so Gems will sometimes use the terms “alive” and “dead” to refer to whether or not they’ve been broken.

“We don’t age, but we can still get hurt and die.” - Pearl, So Many Birthdays “I’m... alive.  *laughs* I’m unstoppable!” - Eyeball, Bubbled, after narrowly avoiding asteroids

And Peridot once uses the term “living” to mean “actually experiencing things, instead of just doing as told.”

“There’s so much life.  Living here... that’s what I’m doing!  I’m... living here!  I’m been learning new things about myself all the time!” - Peridot, Earthlings

But a lot of the time, Gems prefer other terms for “death,” such as “break,” “shatter,” “perish,” and “destroy.”  And in place of “life,” they often talk as if they simply exist.

“You had no idea?!  Ho!  This is like, my entire existence!” - Amethyst, On the Run “Steven, we can’t both exist.” - Rose, Lion 3: Straight to Video

There’s a scientific basis behind this.  While the exact definition of life is hard to pin down, one definition is that the thing in question needs to fit three criteria:

1. It needs to breathe to survive 2. It needs to consume fuel for sustenance and/or growth (eating) 3. It’s able to reproduce (some part of itself is used to make more of the same thing)

Some will point out that, by this definition, fire is alive (it requires oxygen, it keeps going by consuming flammable materials, and fire creates more fire).  Though let’s take a look at Gems:

1. They have no need to breathe (they can survive the vacuum of space indefinitely)

2. They don’t need to eat (they do absorb nutrients during incubation, but they stop when they emerge) 3. Gems are produced; they don’t reproduce (even Rose had to give her entire self to Steven, instead of just a part of herself)

If my theory on how Diamonds make Gems has anything to it, then it would be a stretch to say even the Diamonds reproduce, since they don’t seem to create more Diamonds.

Still, I personally think there might be deeper reason: the very fact that Gems are made.  They probably consider themselves more of a fabrication of life than the genuine article.

Gems don’t consider themselves people

The most obvious case of this is from We Need to Talk:

Greg: “Can you just... talk to me for one second like a real person?!” Rose: *long pause* “I’m... not... a real person.”

There are cases where “Gems” are mentioned as if a separate category from “people:”

“Uh... no such thing as a good war, kiddo.  Gems were destroyed.  People too.” - Greg, The Return

And the book Guide to the Crystal Gems, the intro, which is signed by Rebecca Sugar herself, starts off with this:

“There are a lot of people in this world who don’t fit in, and might act strange, and tend to keep to themselves.  That’s definitely true of the Crystal Gems, who aren’t even people at all!”

Now I’m sure many of us (myself included) would argue that Gems are people.  Still, this has shown up enough that I figure there’s got to be a reason for it.  I think it’s the same basic reasoning for them not being alive: the fact that they’re made.  Or they might not consider themselves people just because they aren’t alive, either.

Judging by Rose’s dialogue, they might argue that even if they are people, they aren’t real ones.

Gems are officially without gender

The creators of SU stated somewhere that Gems are genderless.  I don’t know where exactly, but it’s something most of the fanbase seems to know about.  I have seen an article that describes Gems as female-presenting, though apparently I didn’t save the link, and I’m having trouble finding it again...

Anyway, you know what else may seem to have a specific gender when they don’t really?  Robots.  And programs like Siri.  A.I.s might have genders in sci-fi, but so far, real-life robots can only be made to resemble a certain gender, at best, and it will often just be the way they look or sound.  Even if a robot may seem male or female, it’s not hard to realize that a robot is still just an “it.”

Peridot mentions that Gems have an “intended form,” and hints that Gems have certain traits programmed into them (e.g. Quartzes being loyal).  This seems like a hint that whatever femininity Gems have is because they’re designed to do so, and ultimately considered a facsimile.  Which also segues into my next point...

Gems appear to have programming

In Back to the Barn, it’s indirectly stated that Gems are designed for specific purposes, and it’s assumed they can’t go beyond their intended function... like with robots.

Peridot: “No no, you’re confused.  A Pearl can’t build a thing like this.” Steven: “Why not?” Peridot: “Because Pearls aren’t for this!”

In The Answer, Ruby also implies that Gems of the same type are basically considered the same person.

Sapphire: They were gonna... break you... Ruby: Who cares?  There’s tons of me!

Now, obviously this idea gets blown out of the water when me meet the Ruby Platoon.

(Image from here.)

There’s definitely some variance between Gems of the same type, possibly (at least partly) due to the exact conditions they incubate in.  Normally, programmed things stick to a specific behavior, with no variation between them.

I think it’s more likely that certain Gems are made with a specific template, and that as long as they’re within the designed specifications (or at least within tolerances), they’re considered acceptable.  Too far outside the specifications, and they’re considered “flawed” and “defective”; terms that can apply to gemstones in real life, but also to technology.  The smaller artificial Fusions (which I like to call Frankengems) are even called “Cluster Prototypes” - another technological term.

Also: Peridot calls Pearls “made-to-order,” suggesting that Pearls are designed with a degree of customizability (which I personally suspect is part of why they’re on the bottom of the totem pole: they’re not necessarily designed for what the Diamonds choose).

But wait!  The idea of programming goes deeper:

Gems’ programming can be corrupted

Remember how Gem monsters are called “corrupted”?  That word is often used to imply that there’s something wrong with the very essence of something.  This is even the implied meaning given in Monster Reunion:

Pearl: Remember, she’s not cracked: she’s corrupted, and that’s something... different.  Something... nearly impossible to describe! Garnet: It’s sort of like... if MC Bear Bear didn’t tear the fabric of his arm, but the fabric of his mind.

In programming, the term ‘corrupted’ refers to data that’s been overwritten, erased, or otherwise damaged.  For example, I’ve tried recovering deleted files before, and ended up with some pictures that looked something like this:

If Gems have some sort of programming at their core, then “corruption” could fit all these definitions.

Another term for corrupted files is “damaged” files, and Gem corruption is described as “damage from the Diamonds,” so that also fits.

Though personally, I think corrupted Gems look oddly... stable.  Gem corruption just plain doesn’t look like random data distortion to me.  In fact, Gems of the same type will turn into the same kind of creature.

And data corruption doesn’t usually spread between systems, like it did with Jasper.

To me, Gem “corruption” behaves more like a computer virus.  Viruses are designed to do specific things (which can include data corruption), and certain types of viruses will spread.  It might be more accurate to say that the Gem monsters are infected.  Granted, I suspect the Crystal Gems came up with the term ‘corruption’ to try and describe it as best as they knew how.

That said, I’m guessing Steven’s healing powers can recover data that’s been erased, but he can’t correct rearranged data or get rid of the underlying infection.  Fully restoring a Gem’s data might require the work of a master programmer: or in other words, a Diamond.

Damaged Gems can go glitchy

This is probably the strongest hint about Gems being A.I.s.  We don’t have to guess to see that “glitching” is what’s going on.

In Keeping It Together, the large, hand-like Frankengem glitches out as it tries to form.

When their Gemstones are damaged, Lapis gets stuck with mirror-eyes, and she can’t use her water wings.  Eyeball’s form glitches out.

Amethyst’s form really glitches out, with body parts getting misshapen and sticking out from the wrong places.

Plus, she starts speaking backwards, and if you reverse the audio, you’ll find that the first thing she says is “Hey guys!  What are you doing on the beach?”  This suggests that her memory glitches out, too.

I will note that this is probably closer to what natural data corruption looks like: a hard drive gets damaged, making it hard to read the data correctly, resulting in weird, random effects.  If the corruption gets worse, it’s because the hard drive is getting worse.  Granted, other faulty parts could be the cause, but it usually stems from a hardware issue.

Anyway, it seems to me like Gems glitching out speaks for itself in saying that Gems are probably A.I.s.  Really, if a program has a problem, what do you expect it to do besides glitch out?

Gems still aren’t your average A.I.s

I’ve mentioned that Gems with issues are still oddly stable.  Even if corrupted, their bodies are useable.  Even if cracked, they can usually still function, with their forms having some semblance of a complete body.  Even shattered Gems function surprisingly well.

This is surprising because even minor damage can sometimes bring down an entire computer system, depending on where the damage is.  One missing function for text generation can make a program crash on startup.  If a Gem’s code was in pieces, then I wouldn’t expect the pieces to be able to do much anything, because programs can’t function without the pieces being able to communicate.

Instead, cracked Gems can typically still walk and/or talk.  Lapis was still able to steal the ocean with her Gemstone cracked.   There’s also a contrast to what Pearl says about shattered Gems in the What Are Gems? minisode:

“If a Gem’s Gem is shattered completely... they’ll cease to be.” - Pearl, What Are Gems?

I think we’ve seen enough to confirm that this is a false assumption on the part of Gem society.  We can see that Gem shards can retain some of their powers, often still forming complete limbs, and with enough consciousness to try to find the other parts of themselves.

Granted, damaged and broken Gems functioning as well as they do might be chalked up to Crewniverse only being so tech-savvy, glitches being hard to accurately portray, and/or an attempt to keep the creepiness factor of the show to a relatively low level.  Though personally, I think there might be a reason damaged Gems are so stable.  It could be that Gems have sort of an adaptive programming with levels of redundancy, so they can keep going even if things get bad.

But what if it goes deeper than that?  What if there’s something behind their programming that keeps them going?  Say... a spark of life?

It could be that damaged Gems are so stable because, on some deeply-subconscious level, they’re still trying to hold themselves together.  It could be that they’re able to go beyond the limits of their programming because they do have souls.  This could also be the real reason why Gems of the same type can be so different.

Yeah, sure, I think they’re A.I.s, but I think you’ll probably agree that it doesn’t make them any less of people.

[notjustabadguy]

“Ghost” Characters in Hogwarts Houses

Sam Wheat - Gryffindor

Sam is about as Gryffindor as you can get. The defining traits of a true Gryffindor are bravery and chivalry. These are often accompanied by a strong sense of right and wrong, an unwillingness to concede ground or admit defeat, and an affinity for action in times of crisis.

Like every House, though, Gryffindor qualities have both positive and negative aspects. The strong moral code can make some Gryffindors see the world in terms of black and white, blinding them to the grey areas. The reluctance to admit defeat can become stubbornness, and the desire for action can lead to rushing into danger, without stopping to properly assess the threats in a situation.

Sam shows all of these qualities, both positive and negative, in spades. He proves his bravery and chivalry by literally giving his life to defend Molly. In the struggle with Willie, another Gryffindor trait is displayed as well: the trademark recklessness shows in his attempt to get the jump on an armed mugger.

His strong sense of justice is shown as he unravels the truth behind his murder and makes it his mission to punish those responsible. And his persistence in this mission, despite being at a distinct disadvantage (being incorporeal and unable to communicate traditionally with the living) demonstrates the strength of his determination and his unwillingness to surrender.

All in all, Gryffindors are good people to have on your side. Some of their qualities may be slightly irritating to those who prefer calm rationale and trying to see both sides of a disagreement, but when you’re in any kind of trouble, a Gryffindor is the best asset you can have. They’re big on standing up for the little guy, loyalty to their friends and loved ones, and fighting the good fight. As such, Sam is an excellent representative of the Lion House.

Molly Jensen - Ravenclaw

Ravenclaws are best known for their intelligence, creativity, and reasoning capabilities. Though primarily regarded as the House that scores well on tests and overachieves at all things academic, Eagles are also the artists of Hogwarts—the writers, painters, musicians, etc. As such, Molly was fairly easy to place, being a sculptor.

She also displays other Ravenclaw qualities: intelligence, a reliance on academia, faith in the system and the rules that have been set in place, a healthy dose of skepticism, and an aptitude for calm, rational discourse and problem-solving.

As with the Lions, many Ravenclaw characteristics are a two-sided coin: for example, they tend to have too much confidence in the system, assuming that the established rules to govern any situation will do exactly as intended, without taking human error into consideration. Ravenclaws also like to talk disagreements out calmly, which is usually a good strategy, except some people don’t want to talk—they just want to hurt you. And that skepticism can lead to an inability to set logic aside sometimes and just have faith.

Molly’s speech patterns indicate high intelligence, and her reliance on systems of authority is demonstrated at several points—from her worry over the critic from the Times, to the outcome of her visit to the police station. The Ravenclaw affinity for talking things through shows in her attempt to inject cool rationale into the situation between Sam and Willie, inadvertently making it worse instead. And of course, her skepticism is displayed in her disbelief of Oda Mae; despite her heart telling her it was the truth, her rational mind couldn’t conceive of a world where spirits existed.

Despite their shortcomings, Ravenclaws are excellent to have around. They help provide much-needed perspective to the Gryffindors and Slytherins in their lives, who are often all too willing to go full steam ahead and damn the consequences.

Carl Bruner - Slytherin

Putting the villain of the film in the “evil House” may seem like a pretty straightforward decision, but as many of my Followers may have already guessed, there’s a lot more to it than that.

Most of the villains in the Harry Potter series are Slytherins, which makes many Potterheads see Slytherins in a negative light. But the Snakes have had their share of good guys too: Snape and Slughorn are excellent examples, and both of the Cursed Child heroes are Slytherins as well. And some of the nastiest antagonists in the series are from other Houses (Quirrell and Lockheart are Ravenclaws; Wormtail is a Gryffindor).

In fact, “evil” is a concept that has nothing to do with Sorting. The defining traits of Slytherin House are ambition, resourcefulness, and cunning. Snakes also traditionally prize self-preservation. In addition, Slytherin shares a number of characteristics with Gryffindor, including determination, pride, and, as Dumbledore points out, “a certain disregard for the rules.” Gryffindor and Slytherin are, in fact, very similar Houses in many respects: most of the talents of Gryffindors are shared by Slytherins, and it is only in values that they truly differ. Lions are guided by morality, whereas Snakes are guided by pragmatism.

In the Slytherin mindset, if you want something, you should take it; if you don’t need to endanger yourself, don’t. Guilt is an abstract concept which has little place in practical doings. However, this does not erase the concepts of friendship or loyalty, and can even make them stronger in certain personality types. Snakes often form strong bonds with others, because one’s friends or family are seen as an extension of oneself; therefore, it is in a Slytherin’s best interest to look out for those they are close to.

Carl’s ambition and self-serving qualities are shown over and over throughout the film—even early on, before the big reveal. In fact, one of the earliest lines references him as being “obsessed” with money, something he willingly admits. His “certain disregard" for the rules of law and morality—essentially considering them obstacles to the quickest and easiest way of attaining his ambitions—is demonstrated at several points, most notably in his laundering money, but also in his pursuit of Molly.

The Slytherin pragmatism is also showcased in this instance: while Sam was alive, the knowledge that Moll was his best friend’s girl stopped Carl from making a move. Harming his friendship with Sam would have harmed him personally on an emotional level, so it would have been going against his own interests to risk it. But when Sam died, he was removed entirely from existence in Carl’s limited worldview, leaving no “real” obstacle to a relationship with Molly, only that abstract concept of guilt.

And of course, Carl’s value of self-preservation ultimately became his downfall. Everything he did to extend his own life, even to the point of endangering Sam and Moll, only led him more surely to his eventual death. This is the great flaw in the “practicality” of the Snake House: what many Slytherins view as abstract sentiments are quite real factors in life, with real consequences.

Slytherins can be some of the best friends you’ll have: they can help the Eagles in their lives loosen up, aid their Lion pals by doing things a Gryffindor might find morally ambiguous or distasteful (usually without the Gryff’s knowledge), and they’ll fiercely protect those they are loyal to by any means necessary. But they can also be dangerous enemies if those loyalties shift. Carl’s loyalty to his friends was eventually outweighed by his loyalty to his own ambitions, and that proved disastrous for everyone involved.

Oda Mae Brown - Hufflepuff

Oda Mae was the hardest character to Sort. She has some qualities of other Houses: Slytherin’s cunning and self-interest are most prominent, but she also shows a Gryffindor’s bravery in times of great peril, and even some Ravenclaw creativity. In a way, though, that made the choice to place her in Hufflepuff even more obvious.

Hufflepuff is the “odd House out" in Hogwarts. The fandom doesn’t quite know what to make of them, nor do other Hogwarts students. Voldemort’s infamous words about Cedric Diggory as a “spare” echo the sentiments of many. A lot of Potterheads can strongly relate to the confusion demonstrated in a line from the well-known fan parody A Very Potter Musical: “What the hell is a Hufflepuff?”

The problem with Hufflepuff is that, while many Badgers display certain supposedly defining traits—hardworking, cheerful, friendly, honest and genuine, patient, and modest—there really is no requirement for being Sorted into Badger House. As the Sorting Hat quoted Helga Hufflepuff, “I’ll teach the lot, / And treat them just the same.” Hufflepuff is essentially the House for those who do not have strong tendencies for any of the other Houses: those who are not particularly brave, ambitious, or intelligent. While Hufflepuffs can certainly be all three of those things (look at Cedric Diggory for bravery, Newt Scamander for intellect and creativity, and Ernie Macmillan or Zacharias Smith for ambition), the point is that, while they may all exist in Hufflepuffs, none of them are the driving personality traits behind any Badger.

Oda Mae fits into this “not fitting in” bracket fairly well, as well as displaying some of the more common Hufflepuff traits: namely, being open and genuine, upbeat, and fairly impartial in questions of morality. While the Gryffindors and Slytherins are busy butting heads and the Ravenclaws are either trying to separate them or rolling their eyes at the whole silly affair, ’Puffs will just get on with their own business.

Oda Mae also, in the end, demonstrates another of the Hufflepuff tendencies. Many people, both wizards and fans, tend to underestimate Hufflepuffs. They are considered rather dull, even downright stupid (“Everyone says Hufflepuff are a lot o’ duffers”), and quite timid. None of this is true. Hufflepuffs are often quiet about their accomplishments, but that should not fool anyone into thinking the Badgers are not a force to be reckoned with. Their House mascot is subtle evidence of this: a real-life badger may look cute and cuddly, but a single African honey badger is able to kill three lions on its own. Oda Mae doesn’t seem like a hero for most of the film—she just wants to stay out of danger and get on with her life the way it was before she met Sam. She is easily mistaken for strictly comic relief. But she ends up being the deciding factor in pretty much everything.

It’s additionally worth noting that one of my favorite fan theories is that Hufflepuffs are the House with the most natural talent in Divination, which is the closest thing in the Potterverse to Oda Mae’s psychic talents.

Willie Lopez - Slytherin

As previously stated, Slytherin’s defining traits are ambition, cunning, a strong sense of self-preservation, and an emphasis on achieving goals rather than on how said goals are achieved. Willie displays all of these, in practically every scene he’s in.

Willie certainly doesn’t have the intelligence of a Ravenclaw, but he does possess a sort of animal cunning—probably the only reason he survived as long as he did in the dangerous life a small-time thug. His selfishness and value of his own life above others are demonstrated in his flight from Sam’s spirit, abandoning his erstwhile partner and leaving Carl to fend for himself when things got ugly. And of course, his ambition and lack of respect for laws and ethics are displayed by his profession as a hired gun.

The trademark Slytherin pragmatism is even more pronounced in Willie than it is in Carl... this is made especially clear in the scene where Carl confronts him over his violent methods. “You killed a man,” Carl accuses him. “You were supposed to steal his wallet!” Willie simply returns, “That was a freebie!” He seems genuinely frustrated by how upset Carl is. The idea that Carl might have actually valued Sam’s life, not just his address book, is apparently unimportant to him.

Willie reminds me a lot of Crabbe and Goyle, Draco Malfoy’s goons: a somewhat dimwitted, amoral, violent personality kept around so that Draco (or Carl, in this case) doesn’t need to personally dirty his hands. He certainly isn’t a good representative of Snake House’s positive traits, but he belongs there just the same.

Image Credits:

Background: Hogwarts Sam: Harry Potter (House Crest from this image) Molly: Ravenclaw Student 1 by akirastock Carl: Draco Malfoy Oda Mae: Hermione Granger (tie and House Crest from this image) Willie: Gregory Goyle

Images of Patrick Swayze, Demi Moore, Tony Goldwyn, Whoopi Goldberg, and Rick Aviles taken from Ghost (1990).

Edited with iPhoto, Preview, and Paintbrush on Mac

This is my first real attempt at photomanipulation, and I don’t have Photoshop, so please be gentle with me!

[minsugagal]

So I’mma make a little rant/post about Riverdale lol.

this is pretty much what I’m thinking about each character right now. And at the end I’ll talk about my feelings of the show overall. I mean this is my blog so I can post what I want right? Including about tv shows I watch. 

[I included minor characters and I’m going to try to give the characters a moral alignment feel free to correct it if you want remember I’m only up to episode 10 so I might make a new post on their alignments after i finish the last 3 eps]

1. Archie Andrews

This kid....like what??? Okay he’s a decent good guy....kinda...sorta...i guess. Like he means well, and he tries....sorta....to do his best. He isn’t perfect of course but then again most teen boys aren’t so eh you know. But bruh can you like sort your hormones out cuz...at this point I don’t really think you even actually have liked a single girl. Like you need to figure yourself out and decide on a girl you like. I’ve had it with this flip flopping mess like you’re a basic man whore at this point. I am glad that he hasn’t given up music and is still chasing that. At least he’s loyal to that I guess. I think he needs to realize he can’t please everyone and he does more harm than good by trying to. 

Also why you ain’t helping your friends out? Like you just letting them roam around trying to solve this mystery and you ain’t doing much. 

Alignment: Neutral Good

2. Betty Cooper

Oh Betty....dear.....dear....sweet...little Betty. I don’t know what to do with you either. Like I get you like having justice and seeing things done right but girl you ain’t a superhero. You are not the end all be all of Riverdale. You’re not it’s savior. So turn it down a bit sweetie. I mean keep trying to solve that mystery and all but just don’t be quite so headstrong and reckless about it okay. 

Her huge downfall is she trusts way too easily and forgives way too easily. Like also forgiveness doesn’t mean you have to take that person back into your life. Like does she enjoy getting screwed over and hurt??? I don’t understand. 

She might also be bipolar or another form of mental illness. I’m not sure but she does have signs that lead me to think that. Maybe Season 2 will expand on that more? Maybe she’ll end up locked up like her sister.....idk bruh but something is off with Betty. She’s sweet but like a safe berry look alike that you think safe but you’re not entirely sure if poison lies under the sweet taste or not. Good Luck with this one. 

Alignment: Chaotic Good

3. Veronica Lodge

What is this chick doing? She’s an emotional roller coaster. One minute she’s fine than she isn’t. One minute she’s angry then she isn’t. Like I can’t quite figure her out. I know she’s trying really hard to be a good person and I can honestly say she isn’t completely fucking it up all the way. But she doesn’t exactly have it right either. She’s going through a lot and I can understand her being upset and a bit revengeful. But I think she honestly has a good heart. She just kinda has to keep chiseling away at that hard ice cold exterior she had before. She’ll find that pure heart of gold eventually. 

She’s also a tad bit too sensitive like she’s letting things that shouldn’t bother her too much bother her ALOT! 

Alignment: Neutral Good

4.Jughead Jones

So far this kid is the only sane one of the main bunch. Like he has a lot of shit going on in his own life, plus he’s dealing with his friends’ shit and helping them out and like he still manages to stay cool about it. Okay so he’s had one freak out on Betty so far but...I mean I think he’s allowed that. I mean he hasn’t done anything else. He hasn’t complained about his life or anything he’s just kind of accepted everything in stride like “This is my life this is what is happening gotta keep going”. I think he’s doing the best he can minding his circumstances. 

Alignment: Chaotic Neutral 

5. Hermione Lodge

What am I honestly supposed to think of this woman? I really have no idea. Like I don’t hate her, I don’t necessarily like her. She just is kinda both a support beam and a stumbling block to the other characters all at once. She has a lot of secrets though. Some I’m sure are still yet to have made their appearance. I’d like to think she’s a good person but....I’m not entirely sure of that. She’s got some shady shit going down. I hope she can get her life together and decide who and what she really wants to become and not a woman tied to her imprisoned husband and her commitment to him. I think right now that’s what’s holding her back. But hey 3 more eps and another season hopefully she’ll grow as a person for the better. 

Alignment: Neutral Good

6. Fred Andrews

Honestly he’s a really good person. He’s doing his best for his son. And he does his best for his friends and people he cares about. He’s just trying to find some good in the world and a safe place for his son even though the world is against him. 

Alignment: Lawful Good [okay minus the keeping Jughead out of jail fake timeslip situation]

7. Kevin Keller

He’s a good kid. I don’t have too much to say about him. He’s loyal to his friends and boyfriend. He’s just doing his best at being a teenager and a friend and a boyfriend and a son. 

Alignment: Lawful Good [he is the sheriff's son after all] 

8. Cheryl Blossom

This BITCH!!! Sometimes I don’t even know what to think of her. Like one minute she seems kinda sweet and then the next i wanna punch her face in. I don’t understand her and her actions. Like I get her parents are uptight bitches themselves but why is she just so.....ugh!!! Why does she have these really small moments of sweetness where it’s almost like “Hey maybe she’s turning into a decent person.....oh wait nah”. I’d like to yank her red hair off her head for Betty and Veronica. 

Alignment: Lawful Evil

9. Alice Cooper

Ooooohhhhh this BITCH! Okay let me just say my opinion of her has slightly changed since the beginning. Quite some character development for only 10 episodes. But hey when it really comes down to it a mama bear is gonna protect her baby bears. In the beginning I just thought she was a cold hearted ice woman set on being the dictator of Riverdale. Ruling with an iron fist her children, husband, “friends”, and all other citizens of the city. But it’s come to light that she might not be as big of a bitch as she could’ve been. Like she actually has a hint of kindness and motherly love in her. So maybe she isn’t all bad. But we’ll see what the next 3 eps show.

Alignment: Lawful Evil

10. Josie Mccoy

This girl is one hell of a DIVA! Understand her though, music is her life. It’s everything to her. So when anyone or anything tries to jeopardize that she isn’t going to stand for it. She stands tall and proud and strong. Even though she has her own personal battles and family issues. She is still proud of who she is and not ashamed to show off her ears and tail. haha She can be a bit overwhelming and maybe a bit too serious but I honestly do like her. She has a passion and while it might seem like she’s being a bitch sometimes she just doesn’t want anything risking her dream. 

Alignment: Lawful Neutral 

11. F.P Jones

Man oh man where to even start with this guy. Like what are you doing!?? You’re nuts. Like okay so you had a good run with the Serpents. I get it they treat you well, you feel like you belong but dude. You could honestly have a good life again if you’d just clean your ass up. Get a job, work hard, go to like rehab for the alcohol. GET YOUR ACT TOGETHER! Maybe your son would like to be around you then, maybe he’d genuinely believe in you and trust you again. You could have your family back. But instead you keep fucking shit up. Also at this point your a high contender for being the murderer. 

I feel like somewhere deep down he’s a good person. He could be a good dad and a good husband. But instead he keeps letting this side of him win. He keeps listening to that voice inside him saying “Once a fuckup always a fuckup you can’t fix it now” I guess in the end I’m not really sure where he’s gonna end up. Like he has the possibility to be good. But for now he isn’t. 

Alignment: Neutral Evil 

12. Hal Cooper

Good grief this man! How can you honestly have so much hate over what happened decades ago? Like time to let things go man! How can you be such a douche? Like hurting one daughter isn’t enough you have to go on and hurt your other daughter plus your wife. Where are you going to stop. When will you hate end? I honestly thought that Alice was the mastermind behind the evil that is the Cooper parents but it was the dad all this time. He’s the second contender for murderer. I mean I won’t know till the end of the season I guess but I have this like gut wrenching feeling every time i see him on the screen. Like if he’s capable of sending his own daughter away and trying to have her kill the baby. Well what else is he capable of??? All that hate can’t lead to anything good. 

Alignment: Chaotic Evil

13. Penelope Blossom

Doesn’t this woman give you the chills just looking at her? She’s fuckin creepy! I don’t know if it’s just because she doesn’t have much of a character besides insane mom. Or if it’s the fact that I have no idea what she’s capable of doing. But I’d like to hope that maybe she isn’t really all that horrible and maybe she does actually care about Cheryl and her deceased son as much as she makes people think she does. 

Alignment: Lawful Evil

14. Valerie Brown

Awww sweet sweet Valerie. She’s so sweet and honest and pure. She just wants to be a good person. She also truly liked Archie and he blew that shit up. Like what to go fucktard. It’s okay though because Valerie deserves better. She’s a sweet girl and she deserves someone who’s gonna treat her right. Also I hope Josie will ease up on her now a bit and be more best friend than group leader. Valerie is talented and deserves to have that shown. 

Alignment: Lawful Good

15. Clifford Blossom

I don’t even know everything about him yet. But I already know he’s just pure evil. Like the dude seems to have no heart. Not for his wife, his daughter or his deceased son. Like have you seen him be visibly upset?? I haven’t. Like the mom ain’t good but she was at least a little shaken about her son’s death. He’s just kinda like “Oh yeah...he’s dead...okay”. Also he’s a strong contender for the murderer. Like there is something so off about him that yeah I could believe that he killed his own son. 

Alignment: Chaotic Evil

16. Mayor Mccoy

I mean she’s mayor and all but I’m not entirely sure she’s all good. Like I think she has some secrets up her sleeve that she isn’t letting people know about. Also not to mention she’s kinda got a weird relationship with her daughter. Like she’s proud of her and loves her but also puts a shit ton of pressure on her to be perfect.....yeah she’s one of THOSE moms. I mean I guess she might be a good person. I don’t particularly like her though. 

Alignment: Lawful Neutral [I mean she is the mayor she has to follow some rules somewhere] 

17. Polly Cooper

Poor Polly she’s been through a shit storm. She didn’t deserve any of this. She just wanted to be happy with Jason. But no one would let her. She’s been dragged away and told she’s crazy, lied to, isolated. She’s just lonely and scared and wants someone to love her and care about her. She just wants her family and sadly she has to deal with the fact that the father of her unborn babies is dead. Like that’s not okay. This is more than a teenager should have to deal with. I just hope she can come to find happiness eventually. She deserves that. 

Alignment: Chaotic Good

18. Joaquin DeSantos

Note: He looks like a young John Travolta which I think is probably what the producers were going for. 

Anyway I’m not sure what to think of this kid yet. I’m waiting to see where his inner morals lay. Like yeah I know he’s apart of the Serpents and the loyalty to the gang is strong but that’s not to say that his inner feelings for Kevin that are starting to grow and show will lead to his own moral decisions on what he’s going to do. I think he’s gonna play a major part in the next 3 episodes. I hope my assumption of his alignment doesn’t prove me wrong. 

Alignment: [Currently] Lawful Evil 

[Assumed Future Alignment] Neutral Good

19. Chuck Clayton

Ugh this BITCH! Yeah I called him a bitch that’s what he is. I hate him honestly. He’s a sickening sexual harraser. I can’t stand him! And for him to stand and act like what he did was no big deal or that it doesn’t matter or that it’s okay. The worst part is he may be a character but men like him exist. No wonder he made Betty snap, he’d probably make me snap, He’s so sickening and ugh he’s a snake. I hope maybe he’ll see the error of his ways eventually but I highly doubt it. 

Alignment: Neutral Evil

20. Ethel Muggs

Sweet Ethel, she doesn’t deserve all the things that have been done to her. What has she done wrong? Nothing. She loves her family and her friends and she does good. She’s just a sweet girl caught in this spiral of hell that is Riverdale. Maybe she should move she doesn’t deserve this shit storm. 

Alignment: Lawful Good

Riverdale

This show is really soo good. I think majority of the characters are well rounded, they don’t just do things because they are one dimensional and lifeless. Cheryl isn’t a bitch just because she’s supposed to be. Betty isn’t trying to bring justice to the Jason’s death just because she’s supposed. They all have reasons and justifications behind every action. It’s a well written show. I enjoy it a lot. 

Also I just love over all arching mysteries. Like yeah each episode has it’s own story and plot but there is also that over arching mystery that is yet to be solved and each episode adds a tiny bit of the puzzle and I love it!!! 

Note: I was going to put all the characters but I thought that was a bit much and a lot of them are just kinda not super important I mean like how much could I really write about Reggie or Ginger? So I left them out. Also no spoilers please! I wanna finish watching it. 

[hysyartmaskstudio]

The Thing about The King

Now that Amon, too, has been dragged into the King game, I thought it was time to clarify a few things about the title of King and what it means and doesn’t mean, as well as how it fits thematically into the messages Tokyo Ghoul seems to be trying to convey.

Firstly, we have to remember what the One Eyed King is and is not. For all this argument over who is the “true” OEK, people seem to be losing sight of the fact that the OEK is not a prophecy that is waiting to be fulfilled, but a story that has been constructed. There is no divine decree that there shall be a one eyed ghoul that shall lead ghouls to freedom. No heavenly proclamation. Instead, we have a story Eto wrote. 

(Someone wrote “re” on that capsule, too.)

Eto claims that one eyed ghouls have historically been a force for change, and the evidence she uses is a one eye from about a hundred years ago. She herself is acting to live up to that message - that idea that her one eye status means she can or must be a force for the change she wants to see.

The term “One Eyed King” is her creation. It’s a story she crafted. A narrative she is promoting. There is no “true One Eyed King” because the term applies to whoever fits the narrative.

In many ways, Eto has made this clear herself. The King in her novel is called “Nameless.” While she ultimately settled on Kaneki to fill the role, it was never his destiny, even in her eyes. When he was first brought to Aogiri, he was rejected. If anyone was infatuated with Kaneki as a chosen one, it was Kanou, not Eto. Even as Arima was molding Sasaki, Eto was making more OEGs and bending them to her whim. The King in the book, in the narrative, is nameless, remember.

Making it seem like a prophecy, as an inevitability, is exactly what Eto’s manipulations are intended to do. We even see her make comparisons between herself and god.

This perspective is important going forward - the OEK is a narrative and not a prophecy. Narratives gain their power through people believing in them more than any reality. Which clarifies what Eto meant when she told Kaneki it was his choice whether to destroy the throne or sit on it. It wasn’t really a choice at all. She had designed a narrative where Kaneki Ken was in the role of OEK, whether he claimed the title or not. It isn’t about what he is, but what he appears to be to others.

Which brings me to theme. The mindset of “might makes right” or “the right of the strong” has been in Tokyo Ghoul since chapter 5.

It’s been there since Touka uttered the words “If you want to blame something blame your own weakness.” It’s a phrase that reappears in the story when things are at their lowest, such as when Kaneki has lost himself and his sanity in Kanou’s lab and after Shiarzu’s death and Kaneki’s transformation (or reversion) to his depressed and suicidal self. It’s the mindset that Yamori used as his excuse. It’s an ideal that has led many characters to their death.

This mindset, and the cycle of violence it helps perpetuate, are the true enemies in Tokyo Ghoul. Which is why I have been so critical of Kaneki lately. Instead of fighting this ideal, he’s embraced it, to the point where he reinforces it in his dealings with Naki and uses it to manipulate Naki and his loyalties.

It’s why Kaya’s comments in the recent chapter, however well intentioned, feel more harmful than helpful. This idea of a King who is “The Strongest” is rooted in the toxic ideology the manga has repeatedly made out to be wrong.

And it isn’t just the OEK role. Every equivalent role is also one that is maintained and achieved through violence. Arima’s title of strongest investigator. The Washuu’s reign of the CCG. Donato was handed his Crown mask right after a moment of carnage. Even Yoshimura’s control of the 20th ward is built on gathering the strongest of the strong.

(There are exceptions to this rule, the best of which is Banjou. Banjou has never been a strong ghoul, and yet he continues to have followers. People who are loyal to him not out of fear or awe, but out of gratitude and friendship. Banjou is a shield, not a sword. A healer, not a fighter. His support comes from his genuine caring in a leadership role. It’s not that he’s immune to the message that strength is what matters, but he isn’t guided by it. He’s guided by kindness.

Another exception is Mirumo and his business empire, one that was maintained by gratitude and finance, rather than strength. But within his own household, Mirumo still, to an extent, espoused a strong power structure in which strength was a partial determining factor. Shuu certainly grew up thinking that might makes right. And their downfall also calls this into question. In the end, he called on his people to fight and die.)

So that’s the second point to keep in mind. Kingship has been associated with violence and domination, two things Tokyo Ghoul thematically casts in the negative.

This is true for every king we’ve seen. The difference though, is that in using violence, some of them seem to be aligning themselves with the idea that might makes right, and others against it. Arima used violence to secure his role as King, but his role as King was to be defeated. His violence was used to make him the enemy. And I think Furuta is the same. If nothing else, Furuta understands where violence stands in the narrative. That despite this prevalent philosophy, those who use violence to get their way are not the good guys. That ultimately, the rule of violence is the tool of the villains and not the heroes. Heroic violence is defensive and reactive - it’s done as little as possible and only when necessary. For Arima and Furuta, violence and how they wield it in their roles as King is about how violence is perceived. They aren’t justifying their actions with their strength, or using their violence as proof of their legitimacy.

That isn’t something that Kaneki seems to understand. Eto arranged it this way. Kaneki became OEK because he is now “the strongest ghoul.” His notion of his own kingly power comes entirely from his strength. Again, this is reinforced in his dealings with Naki. It’s interesting because that isn’t the reason some if not most of his team is following him. 

Yomo believes, like Yoshimura before him, that Kaneki has what it takes to do the impossible - not because of his violence but because of his heart. Hirako and the squad zero kids are following him because Arima wanted them to. Banjou’s loyalty to Kaneki is because Kaneki risked his own life - is bravery - not because of Kaneki’s strength. In a sense, the same can be said for Koma and Irimi. For Hinami and Touka, its about supporting someone they care about. Ayato is there because the people he cares about are there. Takizawa is here for Akira. Kurona because they share a target.

And yet in Kaneki’s mind, his kingship does not come from these things, but rather from being the fucking strong. It’s the same mindset he had deep underground in Kanou’s lab. The same mindset that drove him to make a suicide run into the CCG’s forces. The same thing he has always clung to because its easier than admitting he’s scared of being alone.

So where does that leave Amon? @linkspooky wrote a fantastic set of posts [x] [x] back during the Rushima fight about how Amon’s problem is that he uses violence instead of words. That no matter how much he wants to talk, he will always fall back on violence. It’s the language he knows best. It’s what he’s most comfortable with. It’s the ideal he was raised on. Amon cannot get past his reliance on force, on strong near zealot anger, and his security in his physical strength. Even in his admittance that he’s not as strong as Takizawa as a ghoul, he still stands behind what strength he does have. He still thinks the answer is to fight.

We don’t know yet if his Kakuja is the natural result of his own RC cell mutation or if it’s because of cannibalism, but seeing as his understanding of Seidou as human is his main reason for coming to save him, it’s a near certainty that he hasn’t been eating humans. After the auction, we are even told that he left behind signs of cannibalism. But regardless of why he’s doing it, cannibalism in Tokyo Ghoul has been strongly associated both with violence and the notion of becoming stronger. It’s about literally eating those you defeat to gain their strength. In fact, as we learn in JAIL, cannibal ghouls tend to go right for the kakuhou.

Amon’s reliance on strength, on being strong is literally shown as something that overpowers him - turns him into a monster acting without the control of his reason.

(and what a lovely bit of foreshadowing this scene is for Urie’s own transformation.)

It’s also very telling that every single King uses violence in a way that is tied entirely to their freudian issues and their parental figures. 

The violence of V, like Furuta’s violence, is systemic in nature. It exploits people through systems of power and through constructing narratives. It’s swift and gets things done. And its a kind of violence that Furuta clearly understood was manipulative and oppressive from a young age, even as V paid lipservice to it being for some noble cause. Furuta and Arima grew up in a world where the negative connotations of violence were unambiguous and obvious. 

Kaneki grew up with violence as a primarily emotional force, something used to hurt and punish the weak. Be it his mother or his bullies or his aunt. His difficulties with violence, his hatred of it and it’s iron grip on his heart, are in part caused by the fact that violence and love were so twisted for him as a child. To realize violence is wrong means admitting the truth of his abuse to himself. Not just that it happened, but what it means about himself and his mother that it did. This isn’t an easy thing to do by any means and I could never fault him for not being able to untangle the love from the mistreatment. But it is important in understanding where Kaneki’s views of violence are now.

Should Amon now rise up to take the kingly mantle, it is already clear he will be following the same pattern. Amon’s childhood violence still confuses him deeply. He doesn’t know how he feels about the perpetrator, and thus he can’t figure out how he feels about violence. Like Kaneki, he cannot see violence for what it is because it’s been twisted up with caring. 

This is true of Donato, but also of the CCG, the near-military force that took him in and raised him in their image.

If this manga, like most stories, is about growing and overcoming, than it should be clear where it stands on these Kings and their actions. These are the actions of people who haven’t grown. Both Kaneki and Furuta are frequently called children or childish. Amon has been repeatedly shown as boyish, rather than manly, with his love for sweets and intolerance for spicy things, as well as his discomfort around romance.

Freudianly, they are all children because they are all trapped and controlled by the legacy of their parents. Even Arima could not envision a life for himself outside of the role his birth assigned him. Boy Kings are never good rulers. And they are rarely the real power behind the throne.

The difference, again, is who is aware of this and who is not, and to what extent. Furuta and Arima, the garden children, had no delusions that the violence of their childhood, the violence they came to use and embody, was a force for good. Whatever love they received from their family was overshadowed by the violence inflicted upon them, allowing them to act and cast their roles accordingly. Kaneki and Amon are still wrestling with that - with reconciling love and violence. 

So, will Amon be another King? It seems likely. He is the son of a Crown, after all, and there are already links between him and Eto’s Nameless King, appearance wise. But is that a good thing? 

Remember, Kings are not the fulfillers of prophecy, but roles within a narrative. They are pieces on a chess board. Kings on a chess board are not in control. They are pieces just like every other piece, being moved by someone’s hand. The chess metaphors have always existed in Tokyo Ghoul, from the ubiquitous patterning to the explicit placement of a chess board mid game in Uta’s studio.

Kings are parts of the chess game, not the ones in control of it. Whatever kingly role he inherits will be one in a narrative someone crafted, thematically linked with violence and stagnation, rather than growth.

If the answer is love and revolution, if the answer is empathy, dialogue, understanding, and growth, then the role of King seems to be set up as more of a poison than a panacea.