#why can’t I just fucking live my life

[thebackupsystem]

Can a guy go. One fucking day? Without seeing more shit about his source?

I’m already fucking dying I don’t need to be reminded he’s a shit person on the daily

ᴵ’ᵛᵉ ᵃˡʳᵉᵃᵈʸ ᵗᵃᵏᵉⁿ ᵗᵒ ʰᶦᵈᶦⁿᵍ ᵘⁿᵈᵉʳ ᵈᵃᵈ’ˢ ʷᶦⁿᵍ ᵗᵒᵈᵃʸ

[shima-draws]

I’ve mentioned it before but I’m a fucking sucker for unhealthy dependent relationships. There’s just something about them that is so. Chef’s kiss 👌

Anyway I’m still thinking about how Law was so attached to Cora and was so traumatized by his death that he literally devoted thirteen YEARS of his life to revenge killing Doflamingo. Even though all Cora ever wanted was for Law to just be free and live his life happily. And Law spending all his time in a hateful revenge spiral is literally the exact OPPOSITE of what Cora wanted for him. BUT WAIT THERE’S MORE. If the thirteen years of endless devotion to avenging his savior wasn’t enough Law 1. Named his pirate crew the Heart Pirates in honor of Cora, 2. Covered himself in permanent heart-themed tattoos in honor of Cora, and 3. Fashioned his Jolly Roger to be a mockery of Doflamingo’s and ALSO to honor Cora. Homie is a walking memorial for a man he only really knew for six months and again crafted the most intricate plan known to mankind to murder Cora’s killer. Because losing Cora fucked him up THAT much. Because even though Cora set him free, the moment Doflamingo shot him Law was chained to the memory of a man who no longer existed. Law literally fashioned his entire life down to his own appearance after Cora and it makes me so insane. I cannot even imagine what went through his head after Dressrosa I mean how do you move on after a thirteen year grudge is put to rest. What is he supposed to do now. Avenging Cora was literally his entire existence, his entire reason for living for half of his life. He needs therapy probably. If Cora somehow ever did come back to life Law would lose his fucking mind. The dependency is SO unhealthy and I am SO here for it

[imthursdaysyme]

stali getting ready for a night out

[idontmindifuforgetme]

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[the-red-hoodlum]

killing people who don’t get an animals consent before touching them &/or ignore when animals are visibly uncomfortable with being touched.

[kitten4sannie]

look at the way i ride ~

[touchlikethesun]

okay so. don’t crucify me. but su she and jin guangyao do actually make some pretty compelling points.

[mylove-themoon]

The whole ending for the main timeline kinda sucks for Zaun, even the one good thing they get is backhanded as fuck.

Like sure, Sevika is on the council- but the council relies on majority vote, and every other member of the council only work in the interests of themselves or of piltover. Nobody else cares about Zaun, so nothing will change.

And Piltover shows they will alway protect and prioritize their own over everything else

Cait gets no consequences for her actions from the last two acts, despite doing many, many crimes. She released the Gray on the Undercity- which is going to cause disease, death, etc to many innocent people (the same disease Viktor was dying of, it was a direct result of Piltover’s oppression and the gray- I could go on and on about his ending but I shan’t.), arresting random Zaunites- including children- and just leaving them in prison, and even tho we hate Singed, threatening to throw him under the fucking prison was a little far. She gave him the opportunity to either join her or die. So the people of Zaun are animals and criminals until they’re useful?

And the scene of the Noxian guy (can’t remember his name) literally torturing that Jinxer??? Ambassa’s dead and so is he, so I guess thats their consequence, but nothing for Cait? No, Cait gets to have a nice life, she might feel guilty and maybe she’ll have a couple nightmares but really she’s not facing a single consequences You guys remember when Jayce almost got exiled for Hextech in season one? A crime in which nobody died or was grievously harmed? Yet there are no consequences Caitlyn hmmm

After everything the people of Zaun have gone through, they get nothing- they see their oppressor hailed as a hero, they see their children die of a disease that should never have touched the new generation (or just straight up suffocate while it was actively being deployed- if they get caught in that they are dead- little lungs and little legs yk- if they can’t escape it then they die) they see their only hope (Sevika) repeatedly shot down by the council, they see the abuse will continue. Even after everything they lost- all those who fought in Piltovers war- they get nothing. They helped, they worked with them when working against them didn’t work, and they still get nothing.

I think Ekko’s ending really drives it home- the ONE character who deserves the world above everybody else is sitting alone in the end. He did everything right but was still alone. If he -and Jinx- hadn’t rallied their forces and convinced the people of Zaun to fight then Piltover would have lost to Noxius. He convinced his people to fight and die for Piltover- but Cait’s the hero, and he’s still fighting for his own people.

[stellewriites]

my anxiety is through the fucking roof what a sick joke

[koifrog]

I’m approaching 27 which means that we are now in this unexpected period of life where we need to replace all of our “good enough for now” things that we got super cheap (or free from family) when we first started living on our own. I am realizing that it is VERY difficult to get rid of things, not just from an emotional attachment standpoint but also:

“Well it technically DOES still work even if it’s unpleasant and falling apart” (especially applicable to ugly/uncomfortable furniture)

“We don’t have to get rid of it, we can always repair it” (it is literally broken and falling apart)

“Wouldn’t it be Bad and Consumeristic to just throw something away that isn’t actually broken just because I want a new one?” (this one plagues me)

“Getting a New Thing would be way too expensive” (hasn’t even checked the price of a replacement, I absolutely can afford it but it would cost more than $50)

Even when I’ve fought through those arguments (which is very hard to do considering these are things I learned while growing up during the 2008 recession and struggling financially due to severe illness and death in the family when I was young) and come out the other side determined to actually replace something, a new issue arises. “How am I going to get rid of the old thing?”

“I can’t donate this because it’s broken or stained”

“I want to sell this but this requires a lot of energy that I don’t have (photographing the item, pricing the item, posting an ad for the item, sorting through offers for the item, arranging pickup for the item, possibly even shipping the item)”

“I want to throw this away but it’s too large to put in the garbage so it must go on the curb and I don’t know the protocol for that”

“I want to throw this away but it’s too large to put in the garbage and too broken to give away so it must go to the dump and I don’t have a vehicle I can use to take this there so I will need to reach out to family for help”

“I want to throw this away but I’m not sure how to do so in an Environmentally Friendly way”

This sort of situation is a nightmare for my mentally ill mind, and it results in me simply giving up and putting up with keeping the shitty item I know I want to replace and repeating the same excuses to myself to justify it enough that I don’t break down in frustrated tears every time I look at the thing I’ve been wanting to get rid of for months.

I’m sick of it though. I am tired of having to put up with being stuck with something I don’t like just because it’s not “bad enough” to justify going through the stress of removing from my life. I am tired of living with these things that I want to get rid of taking up the space I want to give to something new that I do love that I picked out myself on purpose. I am tired of my own happiness not being a good enough reason to justify doing something difficult or inconvenient. I am approaching 30. I don’t want to live the next decade of my life like I’ve lived the first two, just dealing with what’s been given to me and not saying no, incapable of removing things I don’t like to make space for things I do.

[seventh-district]

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[toasted-valentine]

@pyrotechnicarus was right, that tv can fucking glow.

[kavehater]

Chappel Roan saying she’s sad she’s demisexual and then there’s me being aroace as a whole like don’t you think I’m even more sad 😭

[rosicheeks]

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[alaskan-wallflower]

(vent in the tags and under the cut. don’t read if you don’t want.)

sometimes i wonder if people would care if i was gone. there’s just no point anymore tbh.

[junos-cacophony]

Why the fuck do I exist? Did God create me just to ruin others? I’m the cause of so much problems. If I didn’t fucking exist maybe things WOULD be better. Why the actual fuck did I do this. I’m a terrible fucking person. I wish I could just go to sleep & never wake up. Everything I fucking do ruins others. I ruin everything. Literally. How the fuck did I even get here? How am I still alive? Fear of death? Spite? I’m not sure. But I don’t want to be here anymore. I wish I could jump from the school rooftop & never look back. It’s so tempting. One day, I’ll try. Maybe by then I’ll have fixed all my mistakes.