#i have hobbies that i enjoy
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look at the way i ride ~
#lyss.vent#been feeling very much on the edge lately#of what? i’m not really sure#a classic Meltdown ™ maybe#i have a therapist i talk to weekly now and that’s been a huge help fs#but it’s still like#my boat has a hole#too many to count actually#i’m constantly dumping out the water but it doesn’t matter yk?#i’m still sinking#there are so many things i should be thankful for#friends and family that care about me#i have hobbies that i enjoy#a good consistent job that pays well#i’m working 40 hrs a week and making enough to save monthly#this is what it means to be successful right ?#i should be happy…i have everything i need…#yet i feel rundown and empty#i’ve also realized that there are horrible ugly things that still live deep inside my bones#why do i blame myself for them when i was just there? when i was the victim?#i’m the only one who can save myself from it all so why can’t i?#what’s even worse is that i have to watch from the sidelines while life single-handedly fucks up my loved ones too#i’m so powerless in all aspects of my life#everything’s out of my control#and it hurts so much :(((#tbh old me would’ve given up by now but that dumb bitch isn’t in the driver’s seat anymore#she’s just along for the ride now but she won’t give me the aux#tho new me is stubborn and has something to prove so i’ll keep driving :3 vroom vroommm#i’ll play my own music soon#i love queue ☆〜(ゝ。∂)
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thank u canon plant nerd megumi for my life
bonus:
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#megumi fushiguro#itafushi#fushiguro megumi#yuji itadori#fanart#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#itadori yuuji#megumi#yuuji#middle one FOUGHT oh my god#angle/arm position/watering can/expression NONE of it wld go right#took 2 hours to get the lines only to realize upon laying down flats that it was still Completely off#so i took a break to bake an entire cake came back n finally it started cooperating#tbh idk if im still shaking off ytd's weird funk or what but this took ages longer than it should have#but its ok bc florist/botanist/general plant nerd megu is free serotonin 2 me#i could not decide on one apron 2 give him#but then i remembered he is th type 2 take his hobby Very seriously of course he would own multiple#looks at the hydrangeas listen . listen I Know i ws bemoaning having 2 draw so many cursing their name etc etc#but u dont understand he had to be holding one he just had to. he told me so. he held a gun 2 my head and said U Know What To Do#and i said ok ok ok ok#there r only 2 i survived#and i wld do anything fr him as we well know . cuffs his jeans puts leaves in his hair <3#jjk may have given me trust issues depression anxiety etc but it Also gave me flowerboy megu and i think that balances it out :)#edit added the bonus here bc reblogs dont show up in the main tags enjoy itfs gross flirting mwah <3
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Quilter's Dilemma
A phenomenon I made up where you have a talent that takes so much time to produce something, that you can't sell it anymore. There's a market for handmade quilts, obviously, they're beautiful and warm and wonderful, but no one would be willing to pay the amount of money that is required to properly compensate the artist.
I don't quilt, but the raw materials to make a couple of pairs of mittens is $70 for some nice wool. But the hours required to make them is roughly two seasons of Criminal Minds, and some Doctor Who episodes with my family. Those are 45 minute episodes. Minimum wage in my state is around $11.
No one is willing to pay several hundred dollars for a couple of pairs of mittens, no matter how warm and detailed they are. Especially if I'm not a master knitter, which I'm not, and they're bound to have mistakes in them.
So we loop back around to giving them as gifts, and instead ask nothing in return.
If someone gives you something they handmade this Christmas, cherish it.
#someone told me i should sell my mittens and i almost lost it#then i also heard someone call their grandmother's homemade quilts a 'fun little tradition'#sir do you know what you are recieving#do i know what i am giving#i am giving you love#pure unadulterated love#knitting#knitblr#crochet#quilting#quiltblr#fiber crafts#this also means that everything crocheted in stores is made exploiting workers#not everything is about selling#sometimes my hobbies are about what i enjoy and the love i have for others
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"and what are you doing with your valuable time on earth?"
i'm glad you asked, i'm cleaning up and restoring 20-25 year old gifs of beanie babies
ETA: the differences are most noticeable in dark mode!! the top gif is the original, the bottom is the remastered version :)
#did i find the NICHEST hobby??? possibly#beanie babies#oldweb#oldweb gifs#oldweb graphics#i've been sick so i've enjoyed having something to do#im particularly proud of the patti one!!! it looks so much better#also that stinger one took me a Long time
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can't believe fnaf brought me out of art hibernation man what a turn of events
#my art#clou's art summary#dca fandom#fnaf security breach#art summary 2024#ayo rant in the tags#like everyone else on this planet my 2024 was tough haha#but it was really good artwise#ngl going back to drawing and being unapologetic about it irl was liberating#fr i met some real irl grinches since going to uni#the kind that make you feel bad about liking stuff other than work#i sorta felt ashamed at first and toned it down to focus solely on work#the fnaf dca worms were too strong though lmao#ngl this fandom is awesome#like#last time i checked what was going on in the arcane fandom and this place is a straight up warzone#also it turns out people work a lot better when they're happy how bizarre#no but really this fandom gave me a good deal of confidence in general :D#like YEA i love robots they're so cool how could anyone not like them#YEA i watch arcane every weekend even though i have mixed feelings about s2 it's a literal work of art#though some irl peps used to make me feel bad about enjoying stuff now whenever i meet one i feel sorry for them instead#especially when you ask them about THEIR hobbies instead and they answer 'idk tiktok?' like bruh#hey you#yeah you#if you're reading this don't feel ashamed of your interests#it's not worth it fr#go crazy have fun#draw that character you like#make a playlist for them#draft that fic you were thinking about
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💖 EVEN MORE DAY 4 SNEAK PEEKS! 💖
#>:3 /hehe /nefarious#+ One extra screenshot to make it look neater ghsjgds#14 Days With You#14DWY#yandere#yandere visual novel#yandere vn#yandere OC#💖 — 14 days with queue.#🖤 — spoilers.#🖤 — updates.#🖤 — shut up sai.#ETA: 14DWY Discord I have not forgotten about you <3 Y'all will get a unique update 🔜 + access to Day 4 before the public (as always)#I appreciate everyone's patience though!! Once my Uni break rolls around I'll be sure to post more consistently and be more active online!#Because right now it's been kinda hard to find the time to go through all my socials AND indulge in my own personal interests/hobbies T_T#Sometimes I wanna Dawn some Trails...... But Ren yearns to be acknowledged...... /silly#Anyways!! I'll stop yappin and complaining now lmao ^^; I hope y'all enjoy these lil updates!!#14DWY Discord... I sill see you all soon....... >:3c /j threat
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yaaa this convinced me to give her a chop sometime soon weeee
#had to spin her around in cas to gain hp... i need energy and motivation to work on my story..........#whewww i'm being so brave about stockpiling posts#i have two scenes shot.. still need to edit BUT i think i'm going to shoot everything first and then edit!#since editing takes me years#anyway. i've found such a nice balance the last month between real life and enjoying my hobbies its been great :)#elia lune serotonin boost acquired. i disappear again. bye love u
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why cant i just like a certain piece of media like normal person why did it have to consume my entire being
#/j#and instead i have to a make a thousand gifs of said media#because i cannot stop THINKING about it lmao#also reminder to myself i need to take it easy and have FUN because this is a hobby#and this blog should be for myself and should be enjoyed with because IT IS FUN#personal tag
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I wrote a short story for class that's about a kid who at some point in their life becomes a furry and they draw a beta version of their fursona when they're like 9 and i drew the picture and appended it to the story. hoping it makes them think i cant actually draw furries. throws them off my tail.
his name is Chips. isnt he cute.
sadly i think including the word "fursona" in the story eschews any doubts they may have had. whatever. im real. im myself. # authentic
#i actually really enjoy writing#but i never do it unless i have to for class#i should make it a real hobby#if people wanna read the story ill post it here when it's fully done in like a month#gotta do a final revision#not tagging this as art. not art enough
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youtube
here's the Meleanor chibi speedrun! upfront warning for some flickering and/or flashing throughout from all the sped-up zooming/layer changes.
it turns out I only really recorded up to when I exported the PSD for the first time, so I went back and recorded a bit more to at least show a little of the reworked cape breakdown and background. and then bounced her rig around so you can see a bit of it too! the parts I'm not too embarrassed to show, anyway
even sped up it's still like 47 minutes (s-she took a really long time to make okay), so there are timestamps/chapters in the description if you click through! I certainly don't expect anyone to sit and watch it through, but maybe it'll be interesting to skip around in?
#art#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 part 5 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 part 5 spoilers#sorry for posting again so soon but...it's related to the last post at least?#anyway enjoy me spending literally hours drawing a bunch of parts that i never even used#look we all have our little hobbies#i'm glad people seem to like how she came out! i was really scared to post her because i had so much trouble with the rig#but i forgot that meleanor is amazing and transcends silly things like technical quality and amateur mesh-weighting#thank you all for validating my obsessive quest to reverse-engineer tiny little anime characters for no real reason#spineposting#(kinda)
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Ichi you little freak (affectionate). Every time he's a little freak about something I like him even more
#ichi has such fun characterization#yes he has strong morals and is a Good GuyTM. but also he is really really going to enjoy having an excuse to hunt and kill you#it's like he has the makings of a serial killer but he effortlessly directed them into personal rules#that are coherent with society and nature#he Elle Woods 'what like it's hard?'ed himself into situations where he can engage with his violent hobbies completely normally#ichi the witch#mineminemine#I Like Him
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friends, romans, mutuals, what are some ways you find joy in this time of early nightfall?
#I’ve never dealt with seasonal depression before#usually I am all for nightfall coming early and getting all cozy#however pregnancy has really thrown my brain for a loop#by the end of the workday I’m just so tired#and due to pregnancy symptoms I’m having a difficult time#enjoying my usual hobbies like knitting and reading#so if yall have any tips to share I’d welcome them#my life
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#like damn I need Monty back in s2 to have him go through a whole arc of what it's like to be human and find hobbies he enjoys#and then he can sing and maybe he can write a song for edwin and he and edwin can make up#i knew he was in les mis and newsies but i definitely didnt see the miscast appearance coming#dead boy detectives#edwin payne#dbda#dead boy detective agency#monty the crow#joshua colley
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can't wait til I start this stupid job so I won't have to be doing commissions all the fucking time to buy groceries, this shut sucks the joy out of art so much. I wanna be drawing ultrakill stuff & personal art & doing crafts & reading books but every time I sit down to do something for me I'm thinking about the fact that I should be doing commissions. I'm so glad I didn't go into art as an actual career, I would hate myself so much forever
#i just want art to be able to be a hobby again aaaaa#i can talk about it here bc nobody who's commissioning me knows this is my blog. ive gotten like 2 commissions off tumblr ever lmfao#and tbh i am tired of pretending to be enthusiastic about drawing other peoples ocs. im so tired of customer service voice#im not gonna lie most of the time i do not care about your blorbo. i'm glad you're having fun im happy for u but i just need money#im happy you like my art enough to pay for it but im so TIRED#being self employed sucks like yeah i can choose my own hours but im also always thinking 'i could be working now' and i HATE IT#i don't wanna make it sound like i'm gonna starve or anything I can ask my parents for money if i really need to#im not like in genuine poverty or the biggest victim of capitalism here i just have a family that's deeply unpleasant to interact with#but im starting a half-time job at the university physics department at the end of the month and that'll be enough to cover Being Alive!!!#and will also hopefully be something i am genuinely interested in & enjoy with people who seem relatively cool#(they're gonna let me into the machine shop!! im gonna get to build things!! they were genuinely interested in my robotics experience!!)#so once art stops being the Thing Temporarily Feeding Me i'm hoping i'll be able to draw more fun stuff again. & maybe even enjoy comms#it's somehow easier to be enthusiastic about commissions when i know the money will be going to buy a Cool Sword instead of food
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couple of kakashis <3
#I've reached a drawing slump tbh#I think I'm over focusing on drawing from a picture but I'm scared to try otherwise#thinking of trying pen and paper and seeing how that goes#I just cannot have a hobby that I just enjoy#I must get better at it#I hate it here (in my head)#kakashi hatake#kakashi fanart#kakashi
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starting to feel my enjoyment of cooking seeping back in after a long period of intense burnout that had me really slogging along preparing meals with gritted teeth for a good month there. i credit the return of this spark to the much needed break i took on our 3 day vacation that resulted in us eating solely theme park food. while delicious, in all its greasy overpriced glory, i found myself missing the kitchen. so last night for dinner i made heavily spiced chicken wings with crushed peppercorns and garam masala that rendered slowly in its own fat while roasting in the oven, resulting in flavorful charred crisp skin and a really juicy bite. we picked them clean over steamed rice with lime and scallions. i also baked a loaf of marbled pumpkin and dark chocolate bread yesterday for my neighbor as a thank you for doing me a favor last week. it looked delicious. the crumb was tender and plush and velvety, the spiced ginger molasses pumpkin batter swirling alongside the bitter dark chocolate espresso batter, with puddles of dark chocolate bubbling across its top. it looked so lovely i whipped up a second one for us to have for ourselves that's in the oven now, i think it could be a really good breakfast pastry for us this week.
#ugh it feels sooooooooo good to be enjoying cooking again#it was so bad the last like month or so i just#have been sooooo burnt out#it's genuinely insane what a 3 day vacation can do to reset you :(( it makes me sad lol#i wish that everyone could rest to their hearts content forever#i think i am someone who is extremely prone to burnout and i need about quadruple the amount of quiet alone resting time#that the average person does#so when i get burned out its like excruciating to pull myself out of it again#but im also the primary cook of my household so there isn't really time to take a break and recharge and find my joy for it because#we have to eat lol#3 times a day#every day#forever#BUT#i am feeling so much better about things now after making that dinner and baking a little bit#its feeling soooo autumnal around here lately too which helps#the changing of the seasons is so good for my cooking motivationg#idk#i was feeling pretty depressed that i was starting to resent cooking for a while there since when i enjoy it it's like#life-giving#soul sustaining#wonderful hobby that gives my life purpose and meaning#and it was breaking my heart that i wasn't feeling that way anymore#but i can feel myself coming back#writing about food helps me too#something about describing it#and sharing it with other people who are delighted by it#makes me enjoy it a little extra#sigh#i feel like im returning to myself finally !!!
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