#i should make it a real hobby
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I wrote a short story for class that's about a kid who at some point in their life becomes a furry and they draw a beta version of their fursona when they're like 9 and i drew the picture and appended it to the story. hoping it makes them think i cant actually draw furries. throws them off my tail.
his name is Chips. isnt he cute.
sadly i think including the word "fursona" in the story eschews any doubts they may have had. whatever. im real. im myself. # authentic
#i actually really enjoy writing#but i never do it unless i have to for class#i should make it a real hobby#if people wanna read the story ill post it here when it's fully done in like a month#gotta do a final revision#not tagging this as art. not art enough
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i drew silly gijinkas of my dogs
the dogs in question
#doodles#uhhh ill tag this oc even though its just my dogs lmao#oc#anyways#for the record about their personalities#dakotas very much a grumpy old lady. shes pretty quiet and when she has something to say its not very nice#vyse used to be a little menace!! but hes mellowed out as he got older#and orpheus is a menace!! he loves annoying people its his favorite hobby#he doesnt try to be destructive he just does things he thinks will be cool without thinking and causes massive damage in the process#hes the kid who went WANNA WATCH ME DO A BACKFLIP OFF THIS WALL??? without knowing how to do a backflip#hes like 15 and he was on his schools football team but then one summer everyone came back really buff and he did not#so he doesnt play football anymore#and hes covered in bandages from all the stupid things he does#anyways in terms of designs. i had a vision for dakota and orpheus and none for vyse#dakota specifically i thought should have a long braid and one of those fucked up canadian hats. and orpheus should look like-#-a teenage boy who cant dress nice!! also his hoodie says hellhound on the back#the neon shorts are DIRECTLY ripped from the ones i got from when i did wrestling. theyre so fucking comfy btw#dakota is mostly just cold and comfy. she REFUSES to dress lighter#vyse i didnt have any real ideas for again. i wanted to make him look a bit like his namesake vyse skiesofarcadia but i wasnt sure how#in the end he got that red scarf. which i think does make him look a bit more mischevious since so much of his face is hidden#anyways theyre like a fucked up little found family!! vyse would murder for dakota and orpheus. and dakota probably does too#probably. you can never be sure if she does actually like him#oh also this is mostly irrelevant. but vyse and dakota were meant to be like later 30s (dakotas maybe 38 and vyse is 34? ish?)#and also theyre russian. vyse and dakota i mean. idk if it comes across for vyse but one of my friends guessed it with dakota so!!#idk siberian huskies. theyre russian. россия or whatever
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I feel insane since I already do a (close to) fulltimer, but I'm gearing up the hours of work I put in my UX portfolio. Alarm set at 6 now every morning + work weekends until October 1st.
I really really want to finish all my work before the deepening of fall. This I plegded to myself. But writing out the research sections in particular (whilst ensuring it also looks "creative" and original, and isn't presented as just static, dry information) is incredibly time-consuming.
Yeah I succeed in keeping my head cool, but at times I feel all that is between my future life/realizing of dreams and now, is this darn portfolio and it feels challenging not to lose my shit over that and eat my desk whole lol
Again: patience, Michelle. It truly is a hell of a virtue
#personal#just a bit stressy today. Gonna go on a long walk and go to the gym early in the morning to release some tension#I also feel like I neglect UX theory now more than I should - just because this portfolio is making me work overtime#I am ready UX theory papers and books every night and on the weekend to catch up. but I also need room for my social life + my dog#*reading#hobby time I do again in hell lol. no such thing as room for that rn ✋️ it's cool though#Eventually all of this will have been so worth it! I can not wait till to get up for work each morning and make rad stuff for real clients#🙏#patience
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i just wanted to say i saw your tags on the reblog of that fedole ask and i started laughing for four minutes straight. you're so right.
THEY ARE TRYING TO SILENCE US ‼️‼️
THEY ARE TRYING TO KEEP US DOWN‼️‼️
FEDOLE NATION—
WE HAVE TO PROTECT OLD MAN YAOI ART‼️
#I’m so glad you liked it I always passively wonder if blowing up the tags if a random old post is going to spawn hatred from the op#that being said I just opened your account and you’re THE route 66 writsr?? I thought it was just a legend ..#I’ve heard whispers between hooves clacking on the cobblestone streets but I never imaged you could be REAL#always excited to likemindedly force the agenda that fedole should kiss and ALSO should not get along on likeminded souls#tennis#fedole#I’m also glad that you are laughing somewhere for four minutes straight btw because route 66 had me DEPRESSED#how anyone could imply you were a roger federer apologist when you wrote him to be that much of a loser in the first chapter I can’t#djokovic girls shouldve been cheering#it is a skill to make me be like ‘damn girl we gotta get you a hobby or smth’ to a character no less roger federer
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i have never shared my animatic wips here before but that can be changed ig. (this is an earthspark bumblebee moment btw if it wasn't clear)
#im willing to post the wip as long as the rbs are off <3#i rlly should share my animatic wips more bc i often dont finish them so they never get seen by anybody here#mainly bc im not an animator so#1) im not good at making animatics and 2) cant justify spending time to work on them when i dont major in animation </3#this is just a hobby for me ig#anywho 30 tfe bumblbee was been in my mind for so long and i was like. fuck it I'll try to make it real#love this guy. love his midlife crisis#idk im just so obsessed bc ive been waiting FOREVER for a tf continuity that would take bee seriously and not infantilize him#and now that i have it im like an excited dog that got a new chew toy#im thrashing tfe bee in my mouth and tearing him to shreds#wipz#<- making that my wip tag if i post more things like this#transformers#earthspark spoilers
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HALLEJUAH!! I REMEMBERED HOW TO ACTUALLY FINISH WRITING SOMETHING FOR A CHANGE!!
Of course, it's not any of the fics I wanted to finish. I went back to what is essentially my bread-and-butter now and wrote a short-ish, random OrangeHook fluff. But considering how much writing's been a struggle as of late, I'm just glad that I successfully finished something. I was back in one of those stretches where I couldn't seem to write much of anything. And this fic isn't about their age difference or Hook being a cuddlebug, so...progress?
Unless I decide I completely hate it (which is always a possibility) expect something to drop on Valentine's Day, tis the season, after all.
#What is wrong with you Sam you should not be allowed to write#Small victories you know?#Will I ever get sick of OrangeHook?? Apparently not#Can't even remember the last time they interacted on screen but that ain't stopping my brain LOL#On a more serious note - I really do hope that I can get back into the swing of things and make some real progress#On the bigger fics I want to work on#I want to finish the messy angst OrangeHook fic at some point even if it's unlikely to appeal to anyone#Annnnnd deep down in my cold dead heart I still wanna make an honest attempt at that DG Dead Dove fic#Even though that would be even more unappealing + a huge undertaking because that bitch would be loooooooooong#Also I had a slightly less angsty OrangeHook idea recently about them having their first fight and I wanna write that too for some reason#And there's still a part of me that really wants to continue Business/Pleasure because I have soooo many ideas for that AU#But that would require me to get over my inability to write smut#And I don't know how to do that (would appreciate any advice on that if you've got some...)#But at the same time I don't wanna beat myself up for not being able to write much - if anything - most days#This is a hobby after all - it's supposed to be fun#There ain't no deadline and it's not like I'm letting anybody down#Just gotta do at my own place#And write whatever absolute trash I want to write 😈#My tags are always so obsessive like SHUT THE FUCK UP SAM#But if you've actually read all these - hey. Thanks. Love ya 😘
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hey. hi hello. what gave u the right to make the most gut wrenching video ive ever seen in my entire life (star trek is about the sixties). how dare you. you changed my life.
Okay !💖yay
#I love that u love these things that I make cus sometimes I get so embarrassed about them and I#have ocd so being embarrassed about literally anything feels like being on a fbi watchlist and being set on fire#thank u all for leaving nice comments and I'm glad u like my my videos#people in my life keep being like u should make video editing ur career u shoukd get money for this and its like bestie wouldve couldve sh#Its keeping me alive like i don't understand how people can turn their hobbies into jobs and still benefit them i dont get it#also i literally cant do this shit on command i cant make things that people tell me to make unless the spirit so moves me#making these videos literally helps me think straight and gives me energy i wouldntve showed them to anyone if i had the willpower like idk#interests feel limited and precious like even if I was in any way able to turn it into a job it would just#become another thig im doing for other ppl and id forget who i am again. god i need to do some acid or some shit i mask too much#cannot express how insane the revelation that im a real person was. im a real person who is strange and unsettling for real#when i talk to chairs or kiss my phone on the forehead no one is telling me to do that. thats the real me#anyway have a nice day#asks
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oh my glob bruh syscourse is so annoying and boring go touch grass don't nobody know what an end oh genic or tramagenic means. i thought endogenic was like endothermic like chemistry. plz
#tw syscourse#how does it matter if some1 on tumblr is invalidating ur experience when#nopony in the whole world has any idea what that experience even means#what matters is we all get help#as survivors#people acting like syscourse that doesn't actively spread information is killing their family#also in general arent u so stressed out#worrying about real life and online?#its stressing ME out thinking about it#also being forced to take a stance on something idc about#and something we never knew about until opening twitter#or else ur a bad person#bro im focusing on not killing myself#and dealing with alters and making sure everyone's safe etc etc#especially as a gatekeeper like I rlly don't have the TIME to gaf#and neither should you guys#seriously get a hobby
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um thank you, the other guy, for being there when i needed it most. thank you for helping me live even if just a little
#you couldve done more but that’s only bc i couldve done more because i’m you en i made you#so thank you#that was really cool#and i like bantering with you and i like being comforted and i do appreciate it#if you ever become real like real real i would like to hang out#bc you are cool i think#and you should get a life#lol that’s phrased in the most inflammatory way#but um. what if i wished you had hobbies and likes and wants other than my own happiness#um. what if i wished you were real#i think you deserve more. echo. if we’re making this post as if you’re real i should use your name#well maybe your name. is it esun? i think the sitelen pona for it fits you#sorry for being this sentimental ik you aren’t real#you would tell me to stop focusing on that#um. thank you and then thank you again and then thank you again and other sucj#such#.#echo.posting#twig.txt
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i gotta actually start cooking this paper i am imagining on how demonizing masculinity makes it harder to achieve equal rights but i dont think the internet is ready for that conversation yet
#i still stand by what i said the other day. women should be allowed to exist in gaming spaces without fear of harassment.#anyone should be allowed to exist in their hobby without being harassed for their gender.#but im getting real tired of people immediately turning around and hating all men for just. existing#yes! men should be held accountable for their actions!#but we also have to address the issue that makes them think its okay do be like that in the first place.#and we also have to be aware that hostility towards eachother only serves to make everything worse!!#because it alienates the men around you and just pushes them harder into their bad behaviour#i know this is the internet and everyone gets flayed alive here but god im. so exhausted#and like. if you saw a guy going “i hate all women” hed clearly be misogynist. like what the fuck are these double standards#and i know its because of the entire human history of men having all the power but.#hot take. i really think being mean to eachother on the internet just makes it worse.#nobody (including myself) is actually helping to solve the problem by ranting and raving on the internet#the real way to solve the problem is to shut these guys down. especially other men. a simple “dude what the fuck did you just say?”#works wonders#and also parents! really need to step up and teach their boys that this behavior is not okay! and to treat everyone with kindness#that is how you solve this problem#dont be a bystander and parent your fucking children#thank you for coming to my ted talk im going to go explode now#<<< his ass gets anxious whenever he expresses his own opinion that doesnt align with the general opinion on things#but. im not surprised im the guy who wrote an essay on mens mental health in grade eleven#toxic masculinity hurts everyone. regular masculinity does not.
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in retrospect it's crazy how we just let parents turn to the media and blame their child's hobbies when their children commit suicide. I get why news outlets let it happen (if you can say "video games made my kid suicidal" or "my kid hung himself because uh... he was doing The TikTok Noose Challenge" then it justifies banning those things and enforcing stricter means of monitoring what kids do, on top of giving the parent an out for their culpability in the situation), but if your brain hasn't completely calcified with a boomerlike contempt for The Youth, you should immediately recognize this rhetoric as cope for a massive parenting fuckup. and generally if you examine a lot of these instances that make news, the sequence of events is normally the same; a kid is relatively isolated due to bullying or abuse, their parents don't know how to connect with them (or at worst view their lack of conformity as a burden), the child does not feel safe turning to their parent for comfort, the parent doesn't make any effort to aid the child in connecting with similar-minded peers (or don't bother until the issue is so apparent that they can't afford to ignore it), the child turns to outlets to sate their desire for interaction and belonging until they feel backed against a wall. parenting is hard, but the isolation that produces suicide is largely preventable in ways that a lot of parents gloss over because they do not consider the inner lives of their children to be real or meaningful. and going on TV to bleat to the world about how the one thing that your 14 year old strongly identified with is actually a corrupting influence just seems like a means of obliterating the remaining personhood of that child. you can call me callous, but to me these parents are looking at their child's suicide as another tantrum to be managed, and controlling their image post-mortem is their discipline of choice.
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Begging for more chapters will not manifest more chapters. Aggressively or snidely remarking on someone's lack of updates will not manifest more chapters. Positively affirming the writer and offering your support could manifest more chapters. But, you know, things can happen. One time a person didn't update their fic in while because their bones were dissolving. It hurts some people to type yet they still do it. Why should people write for you if you take them for granted or treat them like dirt? Be the reason why a person would continue on despite the pain they're facing in their lives; whether mental or physical. Spark joy in them. They deserve better.
They are humans! Not robots that can effortlessly crank stuff out. AI is what will do that for you. If you want to read something soulless generated from the amalgamation of already existing works and not something new and exciting :)
As a creative I have a lot of feelings about this 😭 rant over
Please, for the love of god, please don’t be this person. No matter how long it’s been since an update, no matter how many unfinished stories are sitting on their account, no matter what - do not be this person.
Not only is it insanely rude, but you also do more damage than you think be being such a self-entitled ass about something someone created for free and for fun. “This author” can see what you say.
RIP decency indeed.
#fanfic#archive of our own#ao3#ao3 comments#writing#fanfiction#fanfic writing#don't be an asshole#fanfic is free#these people don't have to write anything for you#you don't matter#they're doing it as a hobby#they're doing it for fun#they're doing their best#I write original stories but as a writer I understand how hard it is to write#and ppl have real lives too#the audacity of some people#fanfiction writers#it is literally a meme how ao3/fanfic writers will go through the hardest/randomest life upending ordeals and yet still be like my bad!#I have no excuse :(#sorry this week's chapter is late#babe pls#you don't owe anyone anything#even though it feels like you should sometimes#comments literally give these ppl the will to keep going#you can make or break a person with your words so be careful of what you type even if they haven't updated in 8 years#by being this person you are contributing to negative mental health#and that makes it harder to write!#surprise surprise#some of these ppl are definitely kids cuz I was like that when I was younger too. chanting more more more pls I love this so much
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Like you guys know these are characters right? You know they aren't real, right?
#i promise you#you cant convince the chatacters to do what you want#they arent real#also stop getting mad when shit doesnt work out the way you want#again#its not real#turn off the tv#just stop watching#itll help you in the long run if you are this upset over a ship being canon or not#i seriously think some of you guys need either hobbies or actual help from doctors#because its just sad at this point#i dont wanna have to block a ton of people#but jesus christ yall make it hard with this constant fighting nack and forth#abojt whose better#theres no reason yall should be out here calling some people fetishers or shit becUse they ship something#im not gonna say name#but yall know who you are#and if you think “oh no i dont do that#thats the other side!“#you might not be much better tbh#anyone with a 'side' in this is a bit scary to me#why do you care so much#like i get a hyperfixation and shit i really do#but at some point you need to put thr phone down
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im soooo back babes
#taylor.txt#filled my queue a bit but i still have like 800 posts in my likes to get through lawl#next thing you know i'll be posting writing...unheard of tbh#real talk now that im finally done school my plan is kinda just to work enough to make ends meet and otherwise take my first real summer of#since 2021 which means i should get plenty of writing done before summer camp starts#but also just...so necessary for my brain. ive been go go go for a long time with only a couple weeks of chill time here and there#its time to indulge in my hobbies and interests. amen
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Binge-reading Dungeon Meshi because it's the only thing standing between me and suicide ngl.
#it at least gave me the single molecule of mental energy required to force myself to eat at least one slice of bread#because it's like the physical energy is there sure but mentally I'm like 'noooooo I don't want to eat anything i hate food#all food tastes bad and i hate life and i want to eat nothing at all and furthermore i need to lose weight so i should starve myself'#I'm thinking that it might actually make me last until I either convince the crisis center that I'm for fucking real for real#or until my appointment with the school counselor. which idk when would be because i was supposed to go on the#2nd of April but i guess there might be holidays because he called me when i was atva lecture but i couldn't take it#because i had a lecture and he hasn't called since but I'm assuming#that hell call again and that he wants to let me know that the date is impossible#but I want to like wait and see what he says. and if he goes like 'oh actually im on a long vacay now goodbye forever'#or whatever I'll just go '...slay' and ride my ass to the hospital tomorrow.#show up at the crisis centre looking exactly like the patients with chronic pain who report pain 7 while looking unphased#like 'hello i am an active danger to myself I can't get out of bed most days; i need 16 hours of sleep to function for 4 hours#my meds have stopped working I haven't eaten anything but exactly 2 pancakes and a slice of bread in the past 4 days#and i exhibit a strong refusal to change this marked by thoughts present in people affected by eating disorders. no activity#feels fun anymore and they were marked by a strong sense of anxiety a few days ago but now i just feel nothing at all.#at this point I'm not even refusing to do any of my hobbies because im increasingly afraid of failure and its#consequences while being hunted for sport by anxiety from the opposite end telling me that i need to finish 50 masterpieces#immediately or nobody will ever like me again and they'll all see me for the talentless fraud i am. at this point i just don't care.#i don't do anything because i feel sluggish and my body is heavy and I'm so so tired and I'm tired of being awake and I can't think straight#also i think i might be going into a psychotic episode again.'#they're gonna tell me to get the fuck out of their faces anyway but it's worth a try.#like idk i feel like they might kinda listen because yesterday I guess they wouldn't have but today i have stopped caring about cars#and looking both ways. which is like. not a good sign probably. also yesterday i was still somewhat able to talk to people#even though i was in a very irritated and drained out state but today I'm feeling like if anyone even fucking attempts to talk to me#or if i hear any loud fucking sound at all I'm just gonna punch myself in the head until the pain drowns out all the sound
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okay so I've been painting a lot these past few days. it's frustrating because it feels like I'm starting all over again because it had been a while. but now I'm starting to get the hang of it, I think. I don't want to burn everything I've painted anymore, so that's definitely an improvement.
but. the whole time I just have this thought in the back of my mind - why do I try to get better? it's so pointless.
I'll drop painting again soon anyway. maybe it'll be days, maybe weeks. it'll definitely be no more than two months (that's when we move). so. the next time, I'll start all over again. I'll have to figure it all out again and I'll be so bad at it again and I'll feel exactly like this again.
#I mean. sometimes it's really really amazing and I don't think about anything and I'm just. content#that part feels good#but a lot of the time it really feels pointless#I'm not good at it. I don't ever make real progress with anything because I never do any hobby for long enough at a time#I know a little bit about so many things and I'm not good at any of them#like I've been drawing for 20 years! I should be better at it! but there's entire years where I didn't do it at all.#and it feels bad.#like just CHOOSE one fucking thing! other people can do it! why can't I?!#nothing holds my interest long enough to be 'my thing'. they always come back. sure. but that doesn't make them feel like they're a part of#me. it always feels fleeting and temporary.#ugh 😭#I don't understand how my therapist was so sure I don't have adhd. like I'm not. choosing to be like this. I want one interest. maybe two.#ones that just stay forever. that I can focus on and be really good at and that are just Me#I have so. much. stuff. for everything I ever try.#I just. I'm frustrated and restless and I hate myself.#but yeah sure it's fine or whatever#I just want to feel okay#personal
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