#and then he can sing and maybe he can write a song for edwin and he and edwin can make up | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

coloursflyaway · 7 months ago

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I Will Hold Your Hands To Stop Them From Shaking

Pairing: Edwin Payne/Charles Rowland

Rating: T

Word Count: 9.000

Read on AO3

“You don’t have to know how to dance”, Charles says, and he is so close that Edwin can make out the shadows each eyelash paints onto his face. If he had a breath still, the sight would take it. “I never learnt it either. Just move with the music, and I promise that if I spin you ‘round, I won’t drop you.” _____ It doesn't take Charles forever to figure out the rest.

Watching Charles move is easy. Maybe it’s the easiest thing in Edwin’s life right now; it’s definitely something that he hasn’t only started recently, but something that he has always done. Even before he knew what it meant. Because it is so easy.

Everything about Charles seems to be in motion, like motion is what he is deep inside, bright and fluid and everywhere at once, because no place can hold him. None deserves to hold him, not for long. Crystal once told him that Charles used his brightness, his smiles and his constant movement, to cover up all the pain in his past, but Edwin secretly disagrees: there is some of that, he can see that now, but that’s not where it comes from. Where it comes from, that magnetism that ensures that everyone they have ever met grows to love him, is just Charles. Just who he is inside, and who he always would have been, had they not tried to beat it out of him when he was still alive.

And love him, they do. Crystal most certainly does, Jenny almost smiled at him two days ago, and even their new minder – who Charles insists on calling Charlie – seems to struggle to push down a growing affection towards him. She will lose, Edwin knows it for certain. It’s beautiful to see, because that is just what Charles deserves, and it’s… it’s difficult at the same time. Or rather, it was a little easier when there was only Edwin who loved him.

Because love him, he does. Looking back, it’s almost impossible to believe that it has taken him thirty years to realise it, that it took a crow-turned-boy to make him see, a cat king who couldn’t keep his hands to himself, but oh, he loves him.

Loves him to a point where he almost feels like he has a heart again, because he thinks he can feel it beating, just like he thinks he can feel it stop when Charles touches him, smiles at him, gets out that new cricket bat they got and twirls it just to show off. Loves him so much that he feels like it’s not only the reason why he was put on this Earth, but why he died, why he crawled out of hell and why he was permitted to stay here after all. And looking back at it, it was all worth it for a single moment of watching Charles sing a Joan Jett song to himself, spinning in between his steps when he thinks he’s alone.

“I’m voting for the bloke who got mysteriously shanked at the Troxy”, Charles casts in his lot, twirling a pen he is not writing with between his fingers. He’s positively glowing in the warm, late afternoon sunlight. “You just want to go to a concert venue”, Crystal interjects, raising a perfect eyebrow, before chucking a piece of nectarine at him. Charles catches it effortlessly, of course he does, and tosses it right back. They look positively domestic, sitting on opposite sites of the couch they got for their human co-detective, playing with fruit. Edwin aches.

“So what? Nothin’ wrong with having a bit of fun on the job, is there?”, Charles is grinning, looks over at Edwin, who tries not to notice that the brightness of his smile doesn’t waver for a second. “C’mon, mate, back me up here!” “I’m afraid that merely getting stabbed doesn’t sound like something that would necessitate a supernatural investigation”, Edwin answers, and even then, the light doesn’t dim in Charles’ eyes. “I’m sure the normal, living police is more than enough for that.”

“You guys are no fun”, Charles whines and catches another piece of fruit from mid air. “Also, I’ll have you know that the Troxy’s a nice place, people don’t just get stabbed in there.” “Well, apparently they do now.”

“Can you please wipe that smug smirk off your face”, Crystal hisses just after the bouncer waves her through the doors of the Troxy. Edwin, who can only see the back of Charles’ head, still knows that he absolutely doesn’t. “What, I’m only happy to go and see a gig with my mates!”, he shoots back, and Edwin watches the little skip in his step, like he is dancing to a beat that hasn’t started playing yet. “And do a bit of work on the side, of course.”

It’s difficult to regret the decision to take this case, because Charles is glowing, has been since Crystal purchased the ticket to the concert this afternoon. Edwin does not know the act that will be performing and he doubts Charles does either, but that doesn’t seem to matter for a second.

The other two bicker for a few more moments while Edwin tunes out of the conversation to check their surroundings – they are here on a case after all – until Charles spins around on his heels, looking at Edwin expectantly. “Well, have you ever? Was that even a thing in your time?” “Excuse me?” “Been at a gig, mate!” Charles spreads his arms like he is trying to show Edwin all the wonders of the world, his smile so wide it seems to split his face apart. Edwin’s metaphorical heart gives out for a second.

“I haven’t had the, uh, pleasure, yet”, Edwin answers, even while he tries to avoid touching anything in his near vicinity. It’s sticky, just looking at it. “I wish I could tell you that I know you’re gonna love it, but I guess we’ll have to see about that”, Charles tells him, half laughing, and Edwin finds himself smiling, too.

He knows he’ll end up loving it, even if not because of the reason Charles is thinking of.

“Just let us enjoy, like, three songs”, Charles all but begs when the show finally starts. “I swear, after that I will be good and I won’t complain at all when we go work. Just three.” Crystal is holding onto the drink she bought earlier, but she doesn’t say anything, just turns to look at Edwin. Who is powerless to do anything but nod. “Aces! Thanks, Edwin.”

And Charles slings an arm around his shoulders for a second, pulls him into an almost hug, before he turns back to the stage, leaving a cloak of warmth across Edwin’s upper back. Music starts playing, but he doesn’t really notice it, and why should he? Charles is cheering and clapping and moving with the rhythm, and even if Edwin cannot see his face, he can see the joy in him so clearly that it is burnt into the inside of his eyelids every time he blinks.

Charles is the sun, he’s radiance personified, he’s-

He turns around to face Edwin, the music temporarily stopped as the singer says some words into the microphone, and he extends a hand, palm facing upwards. “Do you wanna dance? Shouldn’t leave your first concert without having danced at least once.” Charles is smiling, but it’s different now, encouraging somehow.

It works, because Edwin’s body is moving before he knows it, hand reaching out to take Charles’ like it is nothing when it’s everything instead, when it’s like he can feel the weight of Charles’ fingers in his. “I’m not a prolific dancer, I’ll have you know”, he mutters when Charles pulls him closer, even though chances are that Charles figured that out himself quite easily. “Don’t have to be”, comes the answer, and Charles is so close now that Edwin can make out the shadows each eyelash paints onto his face. If Edwin had a breath still, the sight would take it. “I never learnt it either. Just move with the music, and I promise that if I spin you ‘round, I won’t drop you.”

Another smile, one that Edwin reciprocates, and then the band starts again and Edwin is still not listening to the music. Instead, he is trying to follow Charles when he starts swaying to it, distributing his non-existent weight from one foot to another. It seems to be working because Charles laughs, head thrown back and happiness painted in broad strokes across his entire being, and puts a hand on Edwin’s side, like he is trying to guide him. Like Edwin wouldn’t follow anywhere he is going anyway.

“You’re getting it!”, Charles shouts at him over the music, too loud and yet not loud enough, and then Charles is lifting their joined hands for everyone and no one to see, the hand on Edwin’s hip giving him a little push and Charles is spinning him. Doesn’t drop him, just like he promised. It’s silly and a little immature and it makes Charles laugh and Edwin follow suit; it’s wonderful and thrilling, and then Charles glances behind Edwin’s shoulder at Crystal.

Who he would rather be dancing with, of course. But who has been to concerts before, and who might garner attention they do not need when being spun by an invisible hand.

Charles’ eyes dart back to his, and his smile is the same, and Edwin thinks, thank you, thank you for this, and means it.

They don’t find much, but for once, that doesn’t matter too much to Edwin, because Charles keeps glowing for days afterwards. There’s an extra spring in his step that carries him all the way up to the victim’s flat, where Crystal finds the clue that leads them to their rather unsatisfying explanation to their mystery: the brother of a mistreated ex-girlfriend, who saw an opportunity for anonymous revenge. It’s worth it, all of it, every time.

“But if you haven’t tried it, how do you know it doesn’t work?”, Charles asks, partly incredulous, partly amused. “You might be able to eat! Do you know how much I miss eating? What I would give for, let’s say, a day where I could eat again?” Charlie, since she hasn’t settled on another name yet, scoffs, and primly sits down on the sofa. “As I have explained, I have no interest in trying any kind of sustenance that is offered here on the mortal plane. The thought disgusts me.”

Charles groans and flings himself back onto the armchair – they keep getting more and more furniture, it seems – so that his head is hanging off it, upside down, looking at Edwin. “Edwin, I’m right, yeah? You know that I’m right.”

“He’s right”, Edwin tells Charlie, and even upside down, Charles’ smile lights up the entire room.

It’s late at night, around four a.m., Crystal is asleep and Charlie hasn’t shown her face in the office in the last few days, so it’s just them. Nights like this are Edwin’s favourite – he has never spoken it aloud, but he suspects Charles knows anyway, might even feel the same occasionally – and they have become… not rare, but less frequent than they used to be, because Crystal has no established sleeping schedule and Charlie drops in whenever she feels like it anyway. But, oh, Edwin has missed them.

They do not have an active case right now, will probably pick a new one come the morning, so it really is just them. Charles is trying to balance a ball on his cricket bat, spread out on the couch he seems to enjoy much more than he wants to admit, Edwin has just picked out a new book after finishing his last one, and there is space left between Charles’ feet and the armrest on the sofa. It’s not a choice Edwin makes, sitting down next to him. Where else would he go?

There is enough room for both of them, and yet Charles lifts his legs when Edwin approaches, even though it means dropping the ball right into the hollow between his neck and chest. And he lets Edwin settle there, caught between the cushions and Charles’ feet, as if it is the easiest thing in the world. And really, it is.

Without thinking, Edwin rests one hand on Charles’ ankle, fingers circling his leg, while he picks up the new book, a novel this time. Charles does the same with his ball, throwing and catching it when it comes back down a few times, before putting it back on the cricket bat. It’s familiar, it’s new; it’s how Edwin wants to spend eternity.

“Watcha reading?”, Charles asks eventually, after the ball has dropped another three times, and while being interested in Edwin’s reading isn’t that uncommon for Charles, it startles Edwin slightly. He glances over at Charles, who looks like he has been watching Edwin for some time, and shows him the cover. “East of Eden”, he tells him for good measure, “a novel, for once.” “Even though you don’t have a friend to talk about them with anymore?”

Charles seems genuinely curious, and while Edwin does occasionally finds himself missing Monty and their conversations, it still seems like an odd thing to ask. “Of course I have someone to talk to about them. I have you, don’t I?” Although it takes a moment, it makes Charles smile; he looks almost a little wistful and Edwin isn’t sure if he likes that expression on his handsome face.

“Well, yeah. But it’s not like I can talk back about them, innit?” Charles tosses the ball again, catches it effortlessly, and maybe Edwin has to stop with the novels after all, because for a second he thinks, just like he has caught me every time I needed catching. “I could read it to you, if you wanted me to?”

He doesn’t expect much – Charles doesn’t enjoy books like Edwin does – but Charles nods immediately, tosses the ball again, catches it, and looks at Edwin with a smile that fits his face much better. “Yeah, I’d like that. A lot, actually.”

“I am telling you, this is something the police will be able to solve on their own, and if it isn’t, they should most likely lose their jobs, because they are incredibly incompetent”, Charles repeats for what feels like the sixth time, crossing his arms in front of his chest. He just so stops himself from rolling his eyes. Crystal has become a somewhat valued member of the detective agency, however, sometimes, it is like she simply doesn’t want to understand what he is telling her.

“They have been trying to solve it! For two weeks!” Crystal looks as exasperated as Edwin feels, which, at least, is some comfort. Maybe the frustration will make her more likely to give up her ludicrous idea of helping with a perfectly run-of-the-mill hit and run. “Charles! Back me up on this!”

For a second, Charles just looks between them, obviously amused, then he throws an arm around Edwin’s shoulders, squeezing him close to his side. “Sorry, Crystal”, he replies, and Edwin can hear the smile in his voice, wants to trace it with his fingertips, “I’m with my best mate on this one.”

“You wanna read to me again?”, Charles asks that same night after Crystal has gone to bed, lifting his legs to make room for Edwin. As if he knew his answer already. He does.

“I didn’t think you enjoyed the story this much”, Edwin remarks as he settles down between the sofa and Charles’ legs, reminded once more that this might be his favourite place in the world. His hand finds Charles’ ankle, only that this time, he touches not only fabric, but skin as well. “It’s alright”, Charles replies, shoots Edwin a little smile. “I’m mainly enjoying you reading it to me.”

If he had still a heart to pump blood through his astral body, Edwin is certain he would be blushing, because of Charles’ words, the sliver of skin pressing against his palm, or both.

Slowly but surely, it becomes a regular thing between them. Once or twice, occasionally even three times a week, Charles will look up at him from the sofa, lift his legs in invitation, and say, “Read to me?” And Edwin will slide into the best place this world has to offer, put his hand around Charles’ thin, graceful ankle, and start reading to him about the Salinas Valley.

Things are quiet, for their standards, because they are approaching Halloween and the ghosts are preparing for it like the living do, perhaps more so, when Charles looks up from the strange tablet computer Crystal is trying to get them to use. Charles, admittedly, is much better at it than Edwin, but at least in Edwin’s eyes, that was to be expected.

“This might be interesting”, Charles says and turns the device around so Crystal and Edwin can see. “A magician’s assistant went missing during a show, her body was found half an hour later, but halfway across the country. And in two places. They have no idea how she got there, it should be impossible. Nor how she got cut in half. Sounds supernatural to me, doesn’t it?”

Edwin scans the article for a second; it does sound interesting, sounds supernatural, but… “We don’t exactly have a client though, do we?” “I know, but I’m sure that if we find the ghost of that assistant, and she hasn’t passed on yet, she would be interested in solving it. And it would be a proper mystery again, you love those.” Charles smiles at him, because he knows he has won already; Edwin does love those. Slowly, he nods.

“Great. Crystal? You’re on board?” This time, he needs to do no convincing at all, because Crystal is grinning already. “Oh, absolutely. Magical nonsense with an actual magician? I’m so in.”

They take the train to Cambridge, where the body was found after disappearing in Manchester, and Edwin bites back every comment he might make about how much quicker it would be to travel via mirror. His point still stands, of course, but Crystal is now part of the agency, and, mostly against his will, Edwin has started to grow fond of her. And more importantly, Charles has. So they file into the small, dingy train wagon, where Crystal has booked not one, but three seats for them. It’s thoughtful, if not frugal, but as Crystal reassured Edwin when he brought it up, her parents have more than enough money and also owe her something for not even noticing when she disappeared.

It makes sense, in a way.

So they sit down, Crystal pulling out the tablet computer and a pair of oversized headphones, making it look like she is talking to someone over the internet instead of them. Quite a clever disguise, Edwin has to admit.

“So, I think the best plan of action is to first go to the site where they found the body. If the ghost is still on the mortal plane, then she might be hanging around. And if not, Crystal can maybe read something around the place, find out about what happened that way.” Charles says, and snatches Edwin’s spare pen right from his breast pocket to twirl it between the elegant fingers Edwin usually tries not to notice. “And anyway, we are getting out of town for a bit again, and that by itself is pretty exciting, isn’t it?”

Exciting might not be the word Edwin would choose, but he has to agree that a change of scenery is welcome. He nods, while his gaze follows the motions of his pen, the flex of tendons under Charles’ skin. When he looks back up, Crystal is watching him with an expression he cannot quite place.

“I don’t think I have ever been to Cambridge”, she finally says, although Edwin can hear the expression in her voice still. “So, yeah, sure. Nice to see something else. How about you guys?” “We were there in, what? ‘92, maybe? Definitely in 2006”, Charles replies, not noticing the expression at all, but then again, it isn’t directed at him. “The case of the missing sledgehammer and the Coca Cola vending machine, and the one with the electric monk.”

“I would posture that the first case had more to do with the man that went missing, but otherwise, Charles, you are quite correct”, Edwin replies, and he is not thinking about how they were back then, not wondering if, even twenty years ago, he had been this hopelessly in love with Charles. He suspects he was, but he is too good a detective to allow himself to spend more time wondering about it, lest he lose himself in the question.

“The electric – you know, all things considered, I don’t want to know, just forget I almost asked”, Crystal starts, then stops again, making Charles laugh. “Don’t worry, explaining the whole thing would take too long for this train ride anyway”, he comments, “and I would rather just enjoy it. Haven’t been on a train in a long time, have I?”

“And how does one enjoy a ride on the British National Rail? I don’t think that has ever been done before”, Crystal asks, but Charles just smiles. “Like this”, he answers and turns around so he faces the window, settling back against Edwin’s shoulder to use him as a backrest. The position is slightly awkward, doesn’t seem like one in which Charles will truly be able to enjoy the view, so Edwin adjusts his body slightly, turning it towards Charles’ back and puts the arm Charles is resting against over his shoulder, leaving it stretched out across Charles’ chest. Who grasps his wrist like Edwin does his ankle when he reads to him, holds onto it and settles back like they have done this a thousand times before. They haven’t, but Edwin allows himself the quiet hope that maybe, they will.

The expression doesn’t leave Crystal’s face for the entire train ride.

They arrive at their destination, a street corner with a quite charming looking French restaurant and a church on either side. Apparently they had found half of the woman’s body in the courtyard of the church, the other half in some bushes across the street, but, as Crystal informs them while reading off her phone, without any blood around the pieces. It is mysterious, and Edwin would be lying if he wasn’t itching to solve the puzzle.

To speed things up, they split apart, with Charles and Crystal going to the church, where the top half of the body was found, while Edwin walks over to the small square on the other side. Finding the spot where they had found the corpse is easy enough; police tape is boxing it in and the bushes are trampled around it to the point where Edwin almost pities them.

He walks through them, grateful that the twigs and thorns cannot snag at his spectral clothing, but there is nothing to be found that the police, or their boots, have left untouched. And just as Crystal said, not a single drop of blood that would suggest someone’s cleaved-in-half body had been left there just two days earlier. It is disappointing until he hears his name called from behind him, Charles running up to him with his curls bouncing, his steps light and sure. He’s a vision, just like he always is, and Edwin loves him to the point where it feels like it is splitting his body apart at the seams.

“Edwin!”, Charles calls out again and comes to a halt in front of the police tape. “We found the ghost! And she is even willing to pay!”

Amina, as the ghost in question is called, turns out to be a woman in her late twenties, with long, dark hair and a faint German accent, wearing something akin to a 1920s cocktail dress which she had apparently died in, although there is nothing left to suggest she had ever been split into pieces. “This is Edwin, my partner”, Charles introduces him, and Amina gives him a smile that looks practice and sincere simultaneously. “Well, you are a delightful addition”, Amina comments, her voice deep and warm, one eyebrow elegantly arched.

“I strive to be, at least”, Edwin replies, “Now, can you tell us anything about what happened to you?” “Of course. It isn’t much, though. I was on stage, and we were about to perform one of our usual tricks. Nothing crazy, just your standard disappearing assistant. Arnold did his speech, like he always does, then I stepped into our little cabinet and he pulled the curtain shut, so I could get into the hidden compartment below the stage.” She pauses for a moment, then adds, “Actually, I only remember opening and stepping into it, not getting inside. And then I found myself here, in Cambridge, where we had been only a few nights ago with the show. Not too far from where we had been staying, actually.”

“So you recognised the place?” “After a little while. At first, I was just very confused.” She shrugs her shoulders, one of the straps that holds up her dress falling down; she doesn’t fix it. “But my grandmother was a medium and used to talk about ghosts quite a lot, so I caught on relatively quick, all things considered. I spent some time trying to figure our what had happened myself, but now you and your little trio of detectives are here, so at least I will be able to sort this out before I pass.”

Edwin has the distinct feeling that she’d take a drag from a cigarette if she could, but like this she just stops talking, a moment of silence stretching between them.

“I tried to do a reading, but all that I could find out about this place and how Amina ended up here, is that she did. A flash of light and then there was a dismembered torso lying on the ground”, Crystal eventually says, gesturing at the floor. “Not exactly helpful, is it?” “Well…”, Edwin starts, glances over to Charles and realises that they are thinking the same thing. Charles is quicker.

“What colour did the light have?”, he asks and Edwin can’t help but smile at him; Charles gives him the quickest of looks, one corner of his lips upturned. “The colour?”, Crystal asks back, a second slower than expected, “Sort of…. green, I guess? Does that mean anything?”

But Charles is already looking at Edwin, the smile fully formed, and it’s in unison they say, “Oh, yes.”

It’s a spell, of course it is, but it’s more than that: it’s a portal, and a shoddily made one, too. Edwin tries to explain, but he, quite honestly, doesn’t have the patience for it, so in the end, Charles takes over. Sits Amina and Crystal down and goes through it step by step: that the portal was done by someone who obviously didn’t have the practice, that it worked well enough to transport half of Amina at a time, but not all of her, and that that is why there was no blood. That the only question is if it was done maliciously or by accident.

“Your magician, the one you work with, is he, you know. A real magician?”, Charles asks, keeping his voice soft and sweet, although Edwin isn’t certain Amina needs it. For someone recently murdered, she is taking it in stride. “Oh no, it is all an act”, she answers easily, “Nothing but slight of hand, tricks, that kind of thing.” “So no way he could have created the portal?”

“I don’t think so? And why would he want to? The whole point is that I come back after I disappear, so getting me here, cut in half, would defeat the purpose, don’t you think?” She looks at them, one by one. “Also, Arnold, he is a little bit of a dork, but he is kind. Has a bit of a crush on me, if I’m being honest. It’s… sweet. Or something.” She smiles, almost pityingly, in a way that, if Charles had looked at him like this when he had confessed his feelings, would have broken the heart he doesn’t have into the smallest pieces. Edwin hopes against all hope that Amina never let her magician see that smile.

“Okay, so-”, Charles starts, and there is something wrong with his voice; when Edwin looks over at him, there is something off about his expression, too. Like there is something he wants to say but can’t. For a second, their eyes meet, then Charles focusses back on Amina. “We’ll still talk to him. After all, it was his cupboard the portal was in. Anyone you could think of that might have wanted to harm you otherwise?”

Amina shakes her head, and Charles nods, but the smile he gives her looks almost frail.

Once they’re on the platform for their train to Manchester, and Crystal has left them behind to get herself a few snacks for the ride, Charles suddenly turns to him. “Edwin”, he says, and there is an urgency in his voice that Edwin doesn’t associate with it at all. “I just- you know that that is not how I think of you, right?” “What?” “Like Amina”, Charles tries to explain, and if possible, he sounds even more urgent, more intense. “I don’t see you how she talked about her magician friend. Arnold. I never will. I never could. And I need you to know that.”

Standing there, he looks so earnest, so fierce, that Edwin wishes it still could take his breath away. Because it doesn’t matter that Charles isn’t in love with him, as long as he loves him like this: fully, completely, enough to be afraid that Edwin might be hurt by someone else’s comments about a person he has never met.

He permits him himself a little smile, because of course, Charles would notice, before he puts a hand on his shoulder, squeezing. “I know”, he answers and sees the tension wash out of Charles’ form within a second, his gaze dropping as if he has to collect himself before looking at Edwin again. “I know you never would. I didn’t doubt it for a second. Don’t worry about it.”

“Okay.” Charles almost breathes the word instead of speaking; when he looks up at Edwin again, his eyes are dark and full of affection, full of gratitude Edwin isn’t sure he deserves. After all, the only reason he knows it is because Charles has proven it again and again. “I’m – God, I’m glad, I don’t know what I would have done if you had ever thought it was like that with us.”

And he hugs Edwin to his chest, all that intensity, that urgency captured between two arms; Edwin sinks into it like he might not have permitted himself to a few months ago, and wishes he still had a sense of smell so he could breathe Charles in.

Their trip to Manchester is uneventful, Crystal munching on chocolate while listening to a podcast, and Charles looking out of the window at the scenery, this time, unfortunately not leaning back against Edwin’s chest. However, like this, Edwin gets to see the joy bloom on his pretty face whenever they pass something that delights him in particular. Because that is Edwin’s pastime: watching Charles.

He gets caught doing it, too, but then again, it doesn’t feel like getting caught at all, since Charles just smiles at him when he notices Edwin watching, points out something in the fast-moving distance. A cow, maybe, a cloud formation that reminds him of something. And then he turns back to the window, and Edwin goes back to watching him, the slope of his nose and the arch of his eyebrows, the sharp cut of his jaw. The darkness of his eyes and how they light up so easily, so often.

If he could, he would stay here. Maybe not for eternity, but maybe a decade or two.

Neither of them has been in Manchester in a decade, so it’s like stepping into a new city when they finally arrive. Charles takes off immediately, looking around the train station in wonder, but before Edwin can sigh and watch him, or maybe do the reasonable thing and follow, Crystal stops him.

“There is something going on between you two”, she doesn’t ask, just states, like she knows she is right. Which, of course, she is. Since it seems foolish to try and deny it, Edwin just nods. Doesn’t know what to say, if she wants an explanation, or just to let him know that she has noticed.

“Charles has told me about hell and all that”, she continues, and again, Edwin nods; he figured as much. In fact, he is quite grateful for not having to do it himself. “But it isn’t trauma bonding, not that you guys would need any more of that. It’s the way you look at him, the way he looks at you. Something has changed between you and I can’t put my finger on it.”

“It has”, Edwin confirms, and Crystal squints at him like she is trying to read him. “But not to worry, it’s nothing bad. Just complicated, I suppose.” His response draws a laugh from Crystal, her eyes sparkling with mirth and like Edwin has completely misunderstood her. “Oh no, Edwin, I know it’s nothing bad”, she replies, laughter still colouring her words. “I just wanted to know if you felt like telling me what kind of good thing it is, since Charles doesn’t seem to.”

Finding the magician turns out to be easier than expected. So easy, in fact, that they almost don’t, because looking in the venue where Amina disappeared seems too on the nose, all of them agree, and just stop by because Crystal wants to do a reading for clues where he might be. Which turns out to be the same theatre, sitting in the front row with his head in his hands, looking to Edwin like his shoulders are carrying the weight of existence itself.

“Uh… hi?”, Crystal tries to introduce herself, and it’s like pulling at the strings of a marionette how fast his head snaps up, red-rimmed eyes staring up at her. The Astonishing Arnold is a man in his thirties, hair dyed black and a little moustache over his upper lip, and he is devastated.

It’s pain Edwin cannot comprehend, and hopefully never will have to, but one he can empathise with; it looks like he thinks losing Charles might feel like. Without thinking, he turns his head, almost to make sure that Charles is still there, only to find that Charles is looking at him already, the same kind of understanding painted in bold strokes across his face. This was no little crush, and that makes Amina’s response to it so much worse.

“Hello”, Arnold says, quickly wiping at his eyes. “Are you… lost or something?” Crystal shakes her head and Edwin can see her make a quick calculation, decide on a plan of action. She is truly getting quite good at this. “I’m here about Amina. I’m a medium and I want to help.”

Her name is enough to draw a sob from Arnold’s lips; Crystal glances over at them quickly and Charles gives her a thumbs up, a brittle-looking smile. She’ll take this one. “I talked to Amina”, Crystal continues, “I want to help her find out what happened, so she can move onto the afterlife. She mentioned you and that she really cared about you. Said you were the kindest person she knew.”

She’s twisting Amina’s words, but Edwin cannot blame her, not when Arnold looks so broken down by what happened, not when a lie might ease a little of his pain.

“And she said she knows that you have nothing to do with her death”, Crystal continues, “That you would never do something like that.” A tremor runs through Arnold’s body, like an earthquake, a cosmic event, and then he drops his gaze to where he has clenched his hands in front of his chest. It looks like he is praying. “That’s where she is wrong”, he finally says, and it’s a confession, it’s a plea for help. “Because I did.”

It turns out to be a failed ploy to woo Amina, in the end. A portal to transport her to a restaurant they had been meaning to go to back in Cambridge, the little French place on the corner, where a reservation and a bottle of chilled champagne was waiting for them. Arnold would join her after the show, with a bouquet of roses he had stashed away in his dressing room, to ask her to give him a chance.

“I knew she didn’t feel the same way”, he admits, tears streaming down his face. “But I thought maybe I could win her over. I’ve loved for so long, I thought maybe that could be enough, that I could love her enough for the both of us. And I figured, real magic, that would impress her. That would impress anyone, right?”

Only that Arnold had no experience with real magic, had only found a volume of spells on one of their trips by chance and had practiced on objects first, then small animals. It had worked, well enough that he thought he was ready to do this, without realising that while his portals were able to transfer the bunnies and birds that they kept for their shows from one side of the room to the other, they couldn’t yet handle a grown woman and this much distance.

“It was only after the show that I started freaking out”, he continues and Edwin’s heart aches for him, more so than it did for Amina. “When I was preparing to go through the portal myself I found a strand of her hair, cut off, looking like it had been singed. Amina was always so careful with her hair, so I knew something was wrong. The portal itself looked different, too, like there was static running through it. I called her, because I know that she always keeps her stupid Apple watch on, even during the shows. We had so many fights about that.”

He sniffles, the ghost of a smile passing over his face at the memory, followed by a wave of fresh tears, most likely caused by the realisation that they will never have that fight again. Crystal reaches into her pocket and hands him a tissue, and Edwin drops the hand he is holding his pen with for a moment, glad that his fingers don’t have the ability to cramp any longer. Yet, he shakes them out; when he stops, there’s a hand reaching for his.

His non-existent heart seizes up in his spectral chest and he looks over at Charles, who is holding onto his hand, intertwining their fingers. Charles looks back, raising an eyebrow as if to ask, is this okay? and Edwin nods, although he isn’t sure if it’s the right answer to give. Not because he doesn’t want to hold Charles’ hand, but because he isn’t sure if he will be able to concentrate on anything but this, now.

The notes, in any case, will have to be written later.

Arnold is drying his tears, and Charles’ fingers are slender between his own, elegant and strong, and Edwin is trying his best to listen when Arnold starts speaking again and yet isn’t sure if he succeeds.

“She didn’t pick up”, Arnold says and it’s like his heart is breaking within the words, “Of course she didn’t. And I started panicking, but I didn’t know what to do. Go through the portal myself and try and look for her? Call the police? Drive to Cambridge? Before I decided on one thing, I got a call and they told me they had found her. Gotten my number from the stupid Apple watch.”

He shakes his head, like he is still not sure how to process any of this; in his lap, his fingers are tearing the tissue apart, bit by bit, but Edwin isn’t sure that Arnold even notices. “I tried to confess to the police”, he continues, every word a sob, “But what was I supposed to say? That I created a magical portal to take her to dinner, but instead ended up cutting the woman I love into pieces? They would never have believed me. I wouldn’t believe me, if it hadn’t happened to me.” There is a pause, and Edwin can see that Crystal is trying to find the words to say something, but Arnold beats her to it.

“When you see her again, tell her I am sorry”, he asks Crystal, no, begs her. “Tell her I never meant for this to happen. Tell her… tell her I love her.”

Another wave of tears and the fingers around Edwin’s hand tighten; when Edwin looks over, there are tears in Charles’ eyes too.

“I will”, Crystal promises, and Edwin hopes that something so small can be enough.

In the end, they don’t tell Amina anything. Instead Charles brings her to Manchester via mirror, where she crouches down before the man that loved her above all else, and there is pity in her eyes, but genuine affection, too.

“Tell him… tell him it’s okay”, she says softly, and reaches out to hold his clasped hands in hers. “Tell him I forgive him. And… even if I am not sure if it’s the truth, tell him I would have said yes.”

Walking back to the train station afterwards is a quiet affair, each of them lost to their own thoughts, until Crystal stops them between the bustling crowd, the cafés and stores. “You two go ahead without me. Use the mirror to get back”, she tells them, “I could use some time alone after all this.”

“Are you sure?”, Charles asks, trying and almost failing to give her a smile. “We can be quiet.” “Yeah, I really am. I’ll see you in a couple of hours”, she says, and squeezes Charles’ shoulder like Charles had held onto Edwin’s hand; to make sure he is okay, to let him know that she is. “After I have eaten my weight in Gregg’s sausage rolls and Cadbury crème eggs.”

The agency is quiet, almost empty, without Crystal here, and it is a strange thing to realise. Before Edwin can contemplate what it means, Charles has flung himself down onto the couch, looking up at Edwin with wide, hopeful, beautiful eyes. He lifts his legs a fraction, and Edwin knows his answer, the same answer as always, before he has heard the question. “Read to me?”

“He followed the Rio Grande past Albuquerque and El Paso through the Big Bend, through Laredo to Brownsville. He learned Spanish words for food and pleasure, and he learned that when people are very poor they still have something to give and the impulse to give it…”, Edwin reads, aware that this time, Charles is doing nothing to keep his hands occupied. He’s just lying there, his feet in Edwin’s lap, listening. If it means anything, Edwin isn’t sure what it is.

“I wish I could fall asleep like this”, Charles interrupts him, smiling softly when Edwin looks up from his book. “It would be nice, listening to the story and your voice and just drift off.” Edwin’s fingers tighten around his ankle unwillingly; Charles must notice it, if he doesn’t, then he at least hears the warmth, the heaviness in Edwin’s voice when he answers. “Do you want to pretend to? I’ll keep reading, but you could close your eyes.”

“Yeah”, Charles replies after a moment has passed, and a bit of the light that has been missing in his gaze returns. “That sounds really nice, actually.” And he settles back, letting his eyes flutter shut, and Edwin continues reading.

“He developed a love for poor people he could not have conceived if he had not been poor himself. And by now he was an expert tramp, using humility as a working principle…”

Crystal returns a few hours later, when the sun has long since set.

They are still on the couch, positions unchanged, but Charles’ eyes are closed and the blanket Edwin had thrown over them earlier is concealing where Edwin’s thumb is brushing circles against the thin skin of Charles’ ankle. She doesn’t say anything, just looks at them for a moment, then sits down into the armchair and lets her head fall back against the cushions.

Edwin continues reading.

It’s morning, but just so, the first rays of sunlight forcing their way through the clouds. A few days have passed since Amina’s case, and slowly, they seem to be getting back to themselves, which is why Edwin looks up from the book he is reading – by himself, this time – and asks, “Why didn’t you tell Crystal about the confession?”

Charles keeps his eyes on the tablet computer for a few more seconds, then glances at Edwin, shrugging his shoulders. He’s only wearing a shirt, his jacket discarded on the armchair, and somehow, it makes every motion even more distracting. “Wasn’t my story to tell, was it?”, he replies easily, like he never even considered it before. “Didn’t know if you’d want her to know, either.”

Edwin isn’t sure about that himself, but he knows that he wouldn’t have blamed Charles if he had told Crystal. After all, he deserves someone to share his feelings with that isn’t Edwin, even if it hurts a little to admit that. It was just the two of them for so long, is all.

“I wouldn’t have minded it”, he says, and Charles chuckles a little at that, sets the tablet aside. “Not minding and wanting something are different things, though. Do you want me to tell her?” “I’m not sure”, Edwin replies, then considers it for a second longer. “I do, if it would help you.”

“Help me? With what?” There is genuine confusion written on his face, and Edwin can’t help but smile at him. “As I have gathered”, he replies, “it is considered helpful to talk to one’s friends to solve a problem.”

A pause, then Charles laughs, a soft, sweet sound that makes very little sense in this particular situation. Until he says, his voice so warm and so full of affection it makes Edwin tingle all over, “Edwin, mate. Your feelings have never been a problem. Not to me.”

They find another case a few days later, a simple one. A missing necklace that is supposed to be given to a daughter, like it had been given forty years ago to their client. Crystal finds it easily, hidden behind cracks in the floorboards, and when blue light starts glowing behind their client, Charles reaches out and takes Edwin’s hand in his. Not to make sure that he is okay this time, Edwin thinks, but just to hold it.

By now, they have made it through almost half of East of Eden; sometimes Crystal joins them, but today, it’s just Charles and him. “You know”, Charles says in the pause between two words, which is a surprise, because Edwin thought he was pretending to sleep. His eyes are closed, after all, and Edwin has gotten him a blanket to cocoon into twenty minutes earlier. “Sometimes it reminds me of dying, you reading to me like this.”

The words are a slap to the face, delivered in a warm, relaxed voice. “Oh. Oh God, if I had known, I wouldn’t have- “, Edwin stutters, trying to stand up, but Charles’ eyes fly open, his hand reaching out to hold Edwin in place. “No, no, no, this is brills, that’s not what I mean at all”, he says quickly, sincerely, and Edwin settles back against the cushions, still unconvinced.

“I didn’t really think about how that would sound”, Charles chuckles, scrubbing a hand across his face. “Sorry for that. I just… I guess, dying isn’t that bad a memory for me. Sure, it sucked, it was really cold and kind of hurt, but you were there. Talking to me. Reading to me. And, to be honest, I hadn’t felt that… not-alone for a long time prior to that. So, yeah, this reminds me of dying, because dying wasn’t that bad. And probably the most important thing I ever did in my life.”

He gives Edwin a smile that would heat up his cheeks, if he still had the ability to blush; like this, it just makes warmth bloom in his chest, where his heart would be. “You dying isn’t that bad a memory to me either”, he confesses, something he has felt a certain amount of shame about until this very moment. “I didn’t want you to die, of course, but if you hadn’t…”

His voice trails off, because he cannot bring himself to say it, not sure if it would be too much, but he doesn’t have to. “Then we wouldn’t have this”, Charles completes his sentence, sitting up so he can grasp the hand Edwin had been holding the book in, squeezing it tightly. Like he doesn’t want to let go again. “I know. Seems worth it, to me.”

Another smile, utterly sincere, then Charles settles back against the cushions. “And thank you, for letting me stay.”

The door opens, and Crystal steps out of the room Charles dragged her into a few minutes earlier. Something about her expression is conflicted, unreadable, but when she sees Edwin watching her, her eyes soften, even if the struggle doesn’t disappear. One, two steps, then she stops and looks at Edwin.

“Good for you”, she finally says, and even if Edwin doesn’t know what she is referring to, he knows she means it.

“Wanna come upstairs?”, Charles asks, rocking back on his heels. “Look at the stars for a bit with me?”

It wasn’t how Edwin intended to spend the evening, since they have a new case and he should do some research, but Charles looks at him with a ghost of a smile on his lips, hope in his gaze, and Edwin loses the battle before he has even decided to fight it. “Of course, he replies and closes the book without noting where he stopped reading.

If he could feel, the night air would be crisp and fresh against his skin. Like this, it’s just clear, lets the stars shine brightly against the darkness of the sky. They used to do this more often, back when they first set up the agency; why they stopped, Edwin cannot quite say. Because it’s nice up here, the sounds of the busy streets mostly muffled, just enough space for the two of them. It’s intimate, it’s theirs, and Edwin hadn’t even realised that he missed it.

Charles is standing with his back to him, fussing around with something, cursing under his breath, so Edwin cranes his head back to see more stars. Long ago, he learnt the names of the constellations over London, but right now it seems difficult to recall a single one.

Before he can remember, a note rings out, strange and unexpected, and when Edwin looks down to find the source, Charles has turned around, Crystal’s Bluetooth speaker glowing with a dim, purple light behind him. He’s playing music, and it makes Edwin smile, even if he doesn’t recognise the song, because, of course, Charles would want to have something playing in the background to watch the stars.

“It’s the band we saw back at the Troxy”, Charles explains, and he looks nervous, almost. Hands clasped together in front of his body, fingers tangling and untangling, the smile on his lips bearing an edge Edwin isn’t familiar with. “You know, the stabbing case. I thought, maybe you would like to dance? The song is the same, even.”

His gaze drops and when he looks up at Edwin again, it’s from beneath his lashes; it’s enough to set Edwin’s immortal soul aflame. Charles has always been beautiful, Edwin had known that since the first moment he had set eyes on him, but he looks ethereal now, a painting, a statue carved in marble and gold.

He nods, because he doesn’t trust his voice, and Charles smiles so wide it’s blinding. Ducking his head once more, he steps forward and takes Edwin’s hand in his, puts the other one on his waist, and although they have only done this once before, it feels like like it is their rightful place. It feels like coming home.

Edwin’s other hand settles on Charles’ shoulder, and it feels so easy to start swaying in time with him, shifting his weight from one foot to the other so he can continue to look at Charles, who is looking back so openly, like he wants Edwin to read every single of his thoughts, his feelings. He can’t, but that doesn’t mean he isn’t trying.

“It might sound a little silly”, he finally says, and Edwin wants to kiss the words out of his mouth, wants to listen to his voice for the rest of time, “but I never thought about this. Never considered it. I’m not sure why, but in the end, it doesn’t matter, does it? Because I love you. I’ve always loved you. Ever since you read me detective stories so I wouldn’t die alone.”

He smiles and Edwin is combusting, he’s being torn apart, he’s bubbling over with happiness and with love and with gratitude to be here with Charles, to have gotten the privilege of knowing him, loving him.

“You know when I said we would have forever to figure out what the rest between us meant?”, Charles asks, and Edwin nods, speechless. “I don’t think we’ll need that long. I think I’ve figured it out already.”

And he leans in, slowly, like this is a moment he wants to savour, and kisses Edwin with so much love, so much devotion, he can feel reverberate through every part of his soul. His hand slides from Charles’ shoulder to cup his face, and Edwin was wrong before. Because this is its rightful place.

This is coming home.

#dead boy detectives #dead boy detective agency #dbd #edwin payne #edwin paine #charles rowland #painland #payneland #paynland #chedwin #charles x edwin #edwin x charles #tagging them is really difficult guys we have to figure out a better system for this #especially a shipname #also i wrote this in 3 days beginning about 5 minutes after finishing the last episode #these boys are everything

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ashe-withane · 6 months ago

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I can’t believe there are TAD songs on this playlist I’m kinda losing my mind over it. Inkpot Gods is my favourite song of all time (not even exaggerating)

I think another thing about Fair is that it’s about a long relationship. These two people have known each other for a long time and love even the less “romantic” things about each other

You don't need to pretend to be someone you're not // 'Cause it's not like I've never heard you fart and snore

Like OP said it’s just so sweet and domestic!! And just. Agh. Anyway.

AS FOR INKPOT GODS

The whole song is about protecting someone you love. Fighting for them. The whole song really is so Charles. Like:

The other things are I’ve thought of are:

1) the bridge

This first bit (following along with Charles = he and Edwin = she) - this feels like when Charles found Edwin in hell

The second half of the bridge,

Also follows along with the hell thing? But also the moment where Charles tells Edwin how afraid he is of being a bad guy. Idk my thoughts are very convoluted, it’s past midnight. And the “me and me alone” in reference to Edwin figuring out his feelings for Charles maybe? (the whole hand in his chest thing after Charles walked away? Idk)

2) the outro

This is one of the reasons I love this song so much. It’s a 2 minute long outro and it’s so beautiful. Anyway:

The bridge actually ends with the line “and I can hear her sing”

Which then leads into:

“If I don’t make it back from where I’ve gone // Just know I loved you all along.”

Which is repeated over and over.

So if the “her” that is “singing” is Edwin, then this is the confession on the stairs.

But this is on the Charles playlist, so it’s not just that. It’s just. Everything in their relationship. All they’ve been through. Always being worried that Death would eventually take them. And Charles’ struggles with his past, his mental health, all of it. Even not being sure if he loves Edwin back in the way Edwin loves him, he’s still saying, no matter what, I loved you all along.

Anyway this is maybe an incoherent mess, but I love the amazing devil and dead boy detectives so this got my brain going at an unreasonable hour and I needed to write it down. I may have read it with a very distinct Payneland lens which Charles himself might not see but still.

dear dead boy detective (especially paynland) enjoyers: have you yet heard of the biggest gift bestowed upon the fandom so far, aka jayden's charles playlist? the one he mentioned in interviews? well, he dropped it on twitter at 19th of may. and man, do i have stuff to say about it.

there's a lot of 80's bangers, for sure, great to get into the mood and character, but some of the choices...

i'm gonna focus on a few of my favourites, songs that made me go insane when i saw them. honorable mentions: - category 1 (so devoted the lines blur): ain't no mountain high enough by marvin gaye and tammi terrell, there is a light that never goes out by the smiths, inkpot gods by the amazing devil - category 2 (family life): family line and summer child by conan gray, seventeen going under by sam fender, matilda by harry styles, father by the front bottoms - category 3 (being queer in the 80s): smalltown boy by bronski beat, boys don't cry by the cure - category 4 (there's no heterosexual explanation for this one): good luck, babe! by chappel roan, yellow by coldplay, fight or flight by conan gray (is this about monty? the cat king? i need answers!), the prophecy by taylor swift, arms tonite by mother mother, sweet by cigarettes after sex, head over heels by tears for fears

this list is by no means complete or comprehensive!

and now, the songs that made me go the craziest: (they're predominantly in charles' pov as it's his playlist)

found heaven by conan gray

the only reason this song made it into the list and not the honorable mentions instead of smalltown boy is that it makes almost the same point, just so much more explicitly. i don't think i have to say much about it, it's a story of a young person griping with their queerness, being forced to leave home, a common theme of the playlist. "you're in love, you found heaven" when he chose edwin over his own afterlife, heavily implied to be heaven, and built his heaven with him on the mortal plane? ouch! (and we see this same notion repeated in another bop from the playlist, heaven is a place on earth by belinda carlisle).

2. like real people do by hozier

"i miss kissing" charles rowland, 202X romantic meaning aside, the verses show a sort of a common understanding the boys have around the manner of their deaths and their lives before it. we already know from the show they don't really talk about it, with edwin not knowing about the severity of the abuse charles suffered. it feels like one of them saying "let the past be past, we're together now, yeah?". but also, jayden: can there ever be a platonic explanation for this? ghosts can't touch, can't feel, so they wish they could just kiss like "real" (alive?) people do?

3. flaws by bastille

not the most romantic song, but i absolutely love how well it fits their dynamic. despite his edwardian brand of repression, edwin truly is the one that's more open about his feelings (recognising of course that in this case, the bar is so low it's in hell. haha, get it). edwin has worn his flaws upon his sleeve, and charles has held them buried - eg. bottling up all of his anger and resentment towards his family and his own death. the song presents a very sweet outlook, in which their flaws are brought up to the surface (for example, charles' outburst against the night nurse in episode 4), but they learn to accept them as they are, an extension of themselves.

4. a pearl by mitski

you know it's gonna get intense if there's a mitski song in the mix.

the song is about a person who finds love in their partner, someone who treats them way better than they've ever been treated - and yet they cannot bring themselves to reciprocate the affection ("it's not that i don't want you, sorry i can't take your touch") despite reciprocating the feelings themselves because of the trauma. charles is known to bottle things up ("you're growing tired of me and all the things i don't talk about"). the person in the song recognises the love the other person holds for them ("you love me so hard and i still can't sleep"), which reminds me of charles' response to edwin's confession. not a "no", but a "maybe, as time passes".

5. fair by the amazing devil

this one made me genuinely gasp when i first delved into the lyrics. it's simply so sweet, such a genuine and domestic portrayal of love. at first i thought it was way too open about being a love song (normal text instead of the subtext i'd be used to) for jayden to choose it with edwin in mind, but... there's no one else it can really be about. it's far too domestic, too "established" to refer to crystal. refers to a relationship that's laster for a longer while.

the narrator in the first verse is a person deeply in love with the other person, someone who loves to make his lover laugh and simply drinks in their presence. the "he" in the song i believe is charles, while the "she" refers to edwin. edwin promises to fight off anyone - or any feelings pulling charles down (we can see this in the first episode: "you ever think... what if death did catch us? she'd force us to go to the afterlife and split up" "i will make sure this never happens."). charles feels left behind by the world (seeing as he clings to crystal at first, refering to her as "someone their age who's still alive") and believes edwin to be so much stronger than he's ever been. i'm not going to break down the song verse by verse, but if you read it yourself while subbing out "he" for charles and "she" for edwin you'll see just how sweet (and... strangely very in character?) the song is.

6. work song by hozier

if the previous song made me gasp when i saw the lyrics, this one made me go "NO WAY" out loud when i saw the title. the first one verse is just pure toothrotting sweetness, but the chorus is what i want to draw attention to:

when my time comes around lay me gently in the cold, dark earth no grave can hold my body down i'll crawl home to her

HELLO? charles, who keeps escaping death and afterlife to be able to stay with edwin? charles, as he literally takes his last breath with edwin right there, choosing to be by his side rather than move on? charles, who keeps choosing him despite night nurse's promises and threats? charles, who literally crawled through hell for him?

verse 2, to me, can be interpreted as referring to when charles died. edwin found him at his worst, and he "woke" up with his presence comforting him. he was shivering due to hypothermia and his injuries. edwin didn't ask him about what happened or pushed him, he simply listened. the lines "i didn't care much how long i lived, but I swear, i thought i dreamed her" are pretty self explanatory.

in verse 3 we still see the same attitude of "damn the afterlife, at least we have each other" as charles portrays througout the series. they're free, and heaven and hell are simply words to him.

7. orpheus by vincent lima

i literally have no words for this one. it fits too well. if you want commentary for this one, just... i don't know, rewatch the staircase scene.

8. francesca by hozier

(cracks knuckles) this is the big one. the album francesca is from, unreal unearth, is based on dante alighieri's divine comedy, a fourteenth century poem about a man venturing into hell, purgatory and eventually heaven. the eponymous francesca is one francesca di rimini, a woman who was politically married off to a man older than her, called giovanni malatesta. francesca didn't love him, and eventually fell deep in love with giovanni's younger brother, paolo. the two carried on with the affair for years, before being murdered by giovanni upon his finding out. francesca and paolo are mentioned in canto v of the first book, inferno, as two souls damned in the second circle of hell, lust. their punishment is to be permanently locked in a hurricane, swept away by the winds the moment they manage to get close enough to touch one another.

as opposed to their portrayal in the poem, the song is from the perspective of paolo, explaining that no matter the punishment, he wouldn't change anything about his life because he got to know, and love, francesca.

the first verse brings to mind the scenes in hell, especially on the staircase ("do you think I'd give up? that this might've shook the love from me? or that I was on the brink? how could you think, darlin', i'd scare so easily?" as an echo of charles' "sorry. no version of this where i didn't come get you"). "my life was a storm since i was born, how could i fear any hurricane?" could relate to charles' tumultuous family life, an assurance that nothing he has to deal with while by edwin's side will faze him given the things he's lived through. no, despite everything he's suffered through, charles wouldn't do anything differently - because his (admittedly shitty) life led him to edwin ("i'd tell them, put me back in"). we already know charles would choose him over heaven, willingly sacrificing his own afterlife to stay with a boy he's known for hours, someone kind enough to keep him company as he drew his final breath. all of it - his father's abuse, his schoolmates' bigotry, the pain of his own death, as well as everything he's gone through since - he'd do it all again, for edwin.

"for all that was said of where we'd end up at the end of it" could be taken as an allusion to the fate the boys would meet at "at the end of it", when they're finally caught by death and separated, or as more of a general "if you sin, you will go to hell when you die" (up to you to decide what the sin itself would be - an interpretation that would work with other songs on the playlist is that one such sin would be same sex attraction). then their hearts ceased, they never knew "peace", nor did they want to find it in death. their deaths were too soon, them being ripped away from life, but even though it would break his heart: charles would ask to do it all again.

the outro, i think, beautifully pulls it all together: heaven is not fit to house a love like theirs.

to wrap it all up:

jayden, what were you cooking in there? what do you know??

#dead boy detectives #charles rowland #edwin payne #edwin x charles #op I hope you dont mind my ramblings lmao #my girlfriend knew what she was doing when she sent me this post

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boonesfarmsangria · 2 years ago

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Foto-© Elliot Cooke

FOALS – Interview

I’m happy you guys are back!

Yeah. Nice to have had a break as well. But it feels good to be back! Feels like everybody wants it again now.

And now it feels a bit more normal than like last year.

Last year was weird! We did four shows and none of these should have happen, it was way too early.

But every time I see you guys, there’s one less of you. We need to stop this trend please!

Hopefully that’s it. You know, no one’s gonna jump out. There’s not many more people that can go. I don’t think anyone else can go, or the band will cease to exist. But that’s it for now.

I’m happy to hear that.

I threatened it to the other to keep me. It’s a trio now. You’ve got a power play.

Do concerts feel any different now? The three of you plus additional musicians?

Well, obviously apart from not physically seeing Edwin or Walter, I would say the difference is way more noticeable offstage, because 90% of a band’s time has been hanging around and just being with each other in a van or backstage or whatever — I really miss them. It’s like, I miss the sort of larger gang going around and there’s always someone doing something silly. It’s a bit more streamed down now. But onstage, it’s great. I actually think we’ve never been better, musically. We’ve got Jack from Jagwar Ma and got this keyboard player called Joe who’s just really good. We’re musically on fire.

I’m so excited for tonight!

Every single show so far has been really good. I’m not boasting, it’s just perfectly personal experience.

Don’t be shy, Foals are like…the best live band I’ve ever seen. And I’ve seen a lot.

My friend the other day, who’s really honest to me, he’s seen god knows how many Foals shows, like 20 or something. He was at one of our London shows. He was like: that was your best one. So it’s good. And then the LED lights. On stage it’s really bright. And then you look at photos and you’re just a silhouette.

The LED screen I’ve seen on photos is MASSIVE. I only know you with your banners.

Tame Impala spend all that money on an amazing light show. Now everyone’s trying to copy.

And do you think your role in the band has changed now that they’re just three of you?

Well, you have to do more stuff. You can’t get away with stuff as easy. I just feel musically, it’s always been kind of the three of us. Most of the creative ideas come from certainly Yannis. So that hasn’t changed really, in some ways. It’s nice to streamline that. So you don’t have people sort of not wanting to be there but being there because they’ve got to be there. You know, it’s weird, so weird. There’s nothing worse being in a studio when you don’t have any ideas. It’s really depressing. I feel like it’s much healthier now.

Okay, and you told NME that you finally feel comfortable to call yourself a songwriter?

I wrote a lot over the last few years. I’ve always wanted to do and never really had the time. I think that was a real benefit for me locked down and things like that results just uninterrupted. So yeah, I’ve started. I’ve got a load of music, and I’ve started to really push myself on writing a proper song.

Does that match with Yannis?

Well, yeah, obviously, some of it is on the record, but like, no lie, but I haven’t heard it actually a lot.

So there’s something else cooking there…

Yeah, definitely. It’s gonna take a while. Because now you’re touring again. Yeah, but it’s great. I’ll start doing more stuff on tour.

Tell me the band’s secret: The new album is again, such a genius record. What’s so crazy to me, your sound is so diverse. And still, every single song feels like a Foals song.

Well, I guess this is just us isn’t it? I would say Yannis’ voice is a pretty big thing. I’ve always kind of said we can do anything. As long as he sings on it, it will be a Foals record. But maybe there’s other stuff. But it’s not considered anymore. It’s what happens when we make music together.

I’m happy about that.

Yeah, it makes life very easy. With this record, what have we been writing sounds pretty positive. And kind of dancing. It’s cool. Off we go. And it’s just like, that’s it. It’s never really spoken off again until like got around 15 songs when we’re having to decide which ones go on. Yeah, we’re very lucky.

And surprisingly, not another doomsday album after the last two…

…and then the actual doomsday happens. Yannis didn’t want to write lyrics about that. I don’t want to hear anything like that. Certainly when Corona virus was in full swing, it was like any long epic doomsday shit. I was like: No way! I need like short, poppy, colorful songs. It sounds kind of cheesy, but we’re writing pop songs, let’s do that. Let’s not do any like miserable stuff.

I was so happy when Wake Me Up came out because it was exactly what I needed. People started to release their lockdown albums. And a lot of that was like, „Oh, I’m so alone.“ Yeah, and I mean, I get that because what else could you have written about?

Are people really going to want to hear about the Corona virus?

And you don’t want to stay on stage and like play it all over again.

So take everyone back to the worst years of their life. But I get what people did.

With another album to release: When do we get five hour long Foals concert setlist?

Well, we’re starting to get longer. Nobody wants to see us for five hours straight, but maybe two. Maybe next year we’ll get to the two hour mark. We can’t add too many new songs. Maybe we made a mistake of not rehearsing enough old songs. But there are reasons we need a new keyboard player. It was hard work getting everything into shape. Ready for tour, especially after years off.

For you it’s not just in between albums, but the band goes through a lot of changes.

We’ve been through massive changes. But it feels very much like the beginning of the Life Is Yours tour. It’s not that Everything Not Saved Will Be Lost Part 2 tour. There’s plenty of time in the future to revisit it, but right now it’s I’ve got to be forward thinking forward looking. But I think the set will get longer and longer in the end, once the album’s out. When we are start playing more new ones, which I know everyone doesn’t like, but they’re good new ones.

Well Jimmy, stop producing so many hits then.

I could say something really ego centered, right. Do you ever seen that film Dig!, about The Dandy Warhols und The Brian Jonestown Massacre?

I don’t think so.

It’s amazing. It’s them in the early 2000s. Courtney Taylor-Taylor, the singer The Dandy Warhols was like „I sneeze and hits come out!“. Basically after he said that, no more hits came out.

Oh, okay, forget what I said earlier! But yeah, everything changes but Two Steps, Twice will always close your sets.

We have changed it a couple of times. There’s been festivals where we’ve only had half an hour. And we keep talking about not doing it. And then we just always end up doing it. We were talking about maybe moving it from the end because originally on record, it’s much shorter, and it’s a quite tight little song. If it doesn’t end the set, it’ll go in as a shorter song, which would be wicked.

People will start panicking because they think the concert is already over…

You’re right. I don’t think many bands have traditions like that. So it’s nice to have that.

But there’s no special reason behind it?

It’s always done the energy of it. We were thinking: „Let’s end on What Went Down“ but that’s a bit more negative energy, it’s angry, you can throw stuff around. But there’s an optimism in Two Steps Twice, which is, I think why everyone loves it at the end because it feels like a party and it’s like you leave smiling rather than like growling. We’ll probably do it forever.

Has COVID taught you something in regards of touring? To do things differently?

Definitely. I don’t drink anywhere near as much as I used to. Made quite a few lifestyle changes like that. Enjoy it more. Stop worrying. I also made a promise that I’m just not going to get nervous. You know, it’s silly. There’s a lot of anxiety with touring that’s just all self generated, and it’s kind of done out of boredom, because you’re sat on in a venue all day and you’re working towards this big show, and you could wake up feeling a million dollars, but slowly you’ll be like „Oh, I was bad“. No! That’s had a big impact on me during the shows. It’s just like doesn’t matter. It’s just enjoy it.

I stopped to look out for mistakes and stuff like that. If you do make a mistake, good because it shows that it’s a real instrument. That’s plugged into a real amplifier. I made one during this tour and it should have ruined the show, but it didn’t. I have a complete fucked up an old song, but it was great. And everyone was just like: it’s just live, just no backing tracks. So it’s very dubious when a band plays their set and there’s absolutely nothing no mistakes.

When a band sounds like straight from the record? I mean, that’s a talent…

It’s also pretty boring. I always like the difference. Live rendition where the guitars are a bit louder.

Not trying to hard to be perfect.

I think that’s what it is. It’s like this stupid quest for perfection, completely unrealistic question that everybody seems to be going through at the moment. And you certainly apply it to all aspects of life, but certainly with music. Who wants perfect music? It’s not where the fun is. All the imperfections and the humaneness of it. That’s what I’ve learned. Just enjoy it more. Also be really grateful for it. It reminded me again, how lucky we are, everyone was going through sheer hell with work and money in Coronavirus and we weren’t. We were like: Yeah, boohoo, we’re not touring. Yeah, that’s the only negative thing and it’s like so felt very lucky

Bedroomdisco || Interview || Anna Fliege

#jimmy smith #foals #interview #actual reading #life is yours #this is a good one

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pinkysfaultorbrainsfault · 4 years ago

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animaniacs - season 1 episode 38 - spellbound

episode summary: inexplicably stuck in camelot times, brain tries to get the ingredience for a magic spell that allows the caster to take over the world. this episode has no relation to the other camelot episode and i don't... know why.

the rundown: we begin our episode with the assertion that this is England in 1194. at this point in history, everyone from fire emblem 16 has grown up and is gay married, but we're not focusing on them right now. we're going to camelot and asking about their round table.

lol.

anyway after we see this creepy spider do whatever he's doing, we meet... merlin, i guess.

my dude??? he looks different. did you go on queer eye, merlin? whatever. he technically doesn't say he's merlin, so... maybe he's the other guy? the older guy? who's like merlin's dad?

this fucker. is he in the original king arthur? idk man i only watch cartoons. anyway he is casting a spell and it is very important. important enough to require components from yoko ono, apparently. like she hasn't suffered on this show enough.

but who do we have here?

"mouse" as my flatmate elegantly put it when he walked past the tv room to get a water. but even better than mouse??? mouse in SHORTS. MOUSE IN SHORTS MOUSE IN SHORTS??? MOUSE IN SHORTS. MOUSE IN SHORTS LOOK AT HIS LITTLE LEGYS MOUSE IN SHORTS MOUSE IN. SHORTS MOUSE IN SHORTS. MOUSE IN SHORTS.

YES.

pinky is not wearing shorts, which is incredibly disappointing. he's wearing some sort of sleeveless shirt dress tunic thing in an awful colour that someone like kanye west or justin bieber probably sells on their merch store for like a thousand dollars. he got the yeezy fit, damn. despite the designer status of his clothes, his bedroom eyes still do not convince me.

"i wish i was a windowsill so i could be--! ah. um."

"an imbecile?"

"ah! haha good rhyme, brain!" the bop of the century. kanye west sells the "windowsill" remix in vinyl on his online store for an additional fifty dollars.

after naming a few more celebrities ("I win, you win, edwin newman") the cauldron explodes in a puff of green smoke! and we get!

a pie. “lo!” he cries. “i’ve made a nice pie.”

hm. pinky is impressed. brain is uh. i think he mentally checked out? whatever he's doing i cannot stop fucking laughing at it. i actually had to put this post on pause for longer than anticipated because brain’s stupid face got to me. i’m so sorry. i started writing this at like 11pm gmt on the 11th and it just didn’t get to y’all in time because of brain’s stupid fucking face.

i’m sorry. brain is less impressed and declares it a “waste of magic”, and that he “would never squander such mystical powers over mere pastry.”

“poit. but what if you were eating dinner and you forgot dessert?”

“maybe then.”

but there is trouble afoot! Old Man Merlin has realised that king arthur will want some of his pie, and decides he’d better eat it in the dungeon so that doesn’t happen.

brain takes this opportunity to look through Old Man Merlin’s big book of spells. he “will use merlin’s magic to take control of the world” and then we get another nice closeup of his funny little face.

i don’t know why animaniacs was so keen on doing this? does it happen this much in the reboot? it feels like every episode we stare brain down to assert dominance.

“oh, no, no. where will you find a magic spell for that?”

“in the table of contents, pinky.”

“oh, well, very good.”

(the table of contents also contains a spell to “win at blackjack”, next to the taking over the world spell. brain considers this, for a moment, and then decides now is probably not the time.)

so good thing they have all the components for the magic spell, eh? including the Half Eaten Gingerbread Cookie That’s Been Left On The Counter All Night.

hmm.

oh, wait, no they don’t. turns out they’re fresh out of red dragon toenails, so brain’s solution to this problem is just to... go and get more, which is obviously a thing people do. they have to cross the enchanted forest to do that. it has witches and stuff. pinky rightfully points out that that is a lot of danger to overcome, and brain gets his stealing-the-minivan vibes back and nicks Old Man Merlin’s magic wand. he only knows one spell, but that won’t stop him.

the first obstacle they have to cross is the gingerbread house owned by... witch hazel from looney tunes. she’s a lot less annoying here than in bugs bunny lost in time, and informs brain that she is “waiting for pudgy german children.” instead of taking her suggestion to “get outta here”, brain magics her ass.

charlie sheen, ben vereen, shrink to the size of a lima bean.

they do get their ass handed to them by aforementioned pudgy german children, but then the german children decide that the mice have syphillis and yeet them in the general direction of slappy squirrel, who is here now.

she starts an argument with the goodfeathers, who are also here now, and brain takes it as their cue to leave.

but never mind all that! good thing there’s a handy bridge over this stream!

unfortunately, the bridge likes to spawn Giant Purple Hands That Kidnap Goats, so brain concludes they should cross said bridge using Stealth. unfortunately pinky drops the wand on the source of the Giant Purple Hands, and it is... relatively unhappy.

so brain pulls out the old “ charlie sheen, ben vereen, shrink to the size of a lima bean” again.

i did definitely think the troll was going to kick him in the crotch. i was very much sure of this, actually. instead it yeets him into rita and runt and fucks off.

“for goodness sake boxy” i hear you cry, “aren’t they at the dragon yet! this review has lasted a good twenty years of scrolling down my dashboard!” and i hear you, and you’re right, but the first thing you need to understand is; pinky has spent this whole episode singing. that little guitar he has? he has spent the whole episode replicating windowsill. “we’re in the woods so dark and stinky, to conquer the world, go brain and--” and then he forgets his name and brain has to remind him that it’s pinky. or remind him of his own name, or suggest like, steam to rhyme with stream. that is the running gag of this episode, and it is very important, at this stage, that you know that. pinky has not, as of yet, stopped singing and playing the lute.

so even though they make it to the dragon pretty mucn unscathed (aside from brain getting sat on by a giant, but i won’t go into that unless y’all specifically want details) pinky just has to have his little song in order to keep the dragon asleep.

and then brain yells at him for forgetting the word “sandman”, which breaks the toenail off completely,

and also wakes up the dragon, which can’t be good. it’s not happy! it was growing its’ nails out for paris fashion week.

brain tries his best to rectify this situation.

“charlie sheen, ben vereen--!”

charlie sheen and ben vereen are dead. i’m sorry to have to tell you. they shrunk down so much they got stuck in the quantum zone from antman and the wasp. someone should probably do something about that.

anyway the mice decide to hightail it back to Old Man Merlin’s.

conclusion:

spoilies: they do make it back in one piece. i won’t detail the whole chase scene because it’s just a bunch of running, because the post is long enough already, and also because tumblr has eaten it three fucking times and i could basically type all this in my sleep now. the things i do for y’all. donate to the wavemaiden.

so pinky shoves all the ingredients into the pot, while brain finds The Take Over The World Spell. the dragon is harassing them this whole time, which feels unfair.

“listen carefully, pinky. i need to recite this spell exactly, and once i start i cannot stop. so i need you to be extra quiet, okay?”

“sure thing, brain.”

this lasts for approximately five minutes.

“brain’s the boss! he’ll rule with ease!”

“mystical powers, your might unfurled, grant that i become--”

“he’s the one! the big, erm. banana?”

“cheese!” yells brain, who has given up entirely by this point. “it rhymes with ease! big! cheese!”

hm.

“are you alright, brain?”

“i feel. odd.”

this is an interesting development.

so brain is cheese now! cool. i guess they have to wait for merlin to get back from Pie Heaven and turn him back, somehow? with his spare wand or whatever. this is definitely pinky’s fault, because brain did ask him to stay quiet for a bit surprisingly nicely (in brain terms) and he... did not. and now brain is a cheese.

on the other hand, this would probably work again if they tried it again, once merlin goes back to pick up some more toenails.

brain: 2 pinky: 3 outside influence: 5

“can i get you anything, brain? some medicine? a cracker?”

“were i not a large cheese, i would make you pay for that remark.”

#patb #animaniacs #pinky and the brain #a!#tumblr has now eaten this four times.#this time i saved the html though.#anyway sorry this took so long the heatwave is making everyone tired xnx

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goldenpctals · 4 years ago

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TRUTH BOOTH, elodie edition

GENERAL QUESTIONS

1. Please state your full name: My name is Elodie Yoon-ah Gwan 2. Does your name(s) have any kind of meaning? If so, what is it? Not completely sure? I know Elodie is some kind of flower and Yoon-ah means ‘light of god’ 3. Do you have any nicknames? Sometimes people call be El or Ellie 4. Where were you born? And in which country? I was born in Seoul, South-Korea 5. What is your date of birth? January 4 in year 1996 6. Of course, the following question; what is your Zodiac sign? I’m a Capricorn 7. Do you believe in Zodiac signs? Sometimes? I like to think so? 8. Where do you live? I live in Violet Springs, in Violet Heights to be exact 9. What is your home situation like? (ex. do you live with your family? Your partner etc.?) I live with my two dads, Edwin and Jonah and with my sister, Ruby 10. Do you have any siblings? Yes, I have two sisters. Ruby and Issy Rosini 11. Do you have any kind of allergies? Not that I know of 12. Do you own any pets? If so, what kind of pets are they? Ruby has the most dogs in the house. However, I have a white cocker spaniel. His name is Baloo and he’s the cutest 13. Why did you apply to St Jude’s? Because I love performing, singing and music 14. Did you had to go through a lot audition rounds? A few. My English wasn’t really that good at the time. I still struggle with it every now and then 15. What is the current course you’re following? I study to course Music 16. If you can switch courses, which one would you switch to and why? If I had to switch, I’d probably pick dancing. It’s one of my greatest loves 17. What is your proudest project you’ve done? So far? My song named Solo. I heard it reached millions of views which is crazy 18. What is the proudest project that someone’s else has done? There are a couple. If I keep going I’ll be talking for a couple of days 19. Do you like FanCons? Yes. I love them! 20. What do you like about FanCons? Getting to meet my fans. I didn’t know I had so many people who care about me and my music. It’s a nice feeling 21. What don’t you like about FanCons? It can be overwhelming at times 22. A fan memory that always stuck with you? Can be positive or negative. A fan gave me a painting and it still hanging above my bed. I just love the vibe of it 23. Your favorite event so far? Hm.. Any kind of charity event 24. What kind of event would you like to see in the future? I think this is done before, but St Judes vs. other universities 25. Would you recommend St Jude’s to friends, family. etc? I would. I think this is the perfect place to chase your dreams

PERSONALITY QUESTIONS

26. What are your positive traits? I’d like to say that I’m realistic, patient and hard-working 27. What are you negative traits? Probably that I tend to look shy, I’m very cautious and I don’t trust people so easily 28. What would other people describe you as? A shy and awkwar bean 29. What are your pet peeves? Slow walking... 30. What makes you happy? Music makes me happy. Being with friends and family. Just be around good energy 31. What makes you upset? Seeing anyone I care about upset 32. What is something you love? The universe. I’m obsessed with the moon and the stars 33. What is something you dislike? Anger. I don’t really know why people get so angry or caught up over something 34. What are you strengths? My patience 35. What are you weaknesses? I have quite a few, so I’ll PASS this one 36. A misconception people often think of you? I don’t think I’m here long enough? But if I had to say something, probably that .. I have no idea 37. Do you have any fears? Yes 38. What scares you the most? Losing myself again 39. What do you do to entertain yourself? I make songs and go to the studio 40. What is your MBTI? I think it was ISFP 41. How do you deal with stress? This is something I struggle a lot with. I usually sit on a rooftop and I write down how I feel in lyrics.. I just tend to look at the moon a lot too 42. Are you a determined person? Are you a stubborn person? Determind 43. Do you consider yourself selfish? No, I think I put people’s feelings over mine 44. Would you like to be different? I wish I was stronger, mentally 45. Are you more introverted (focused on your inner world) or more extraverted (focused on other people and the outer world)? Introvert

ROMANCE QUESTIONS

46. What is your sexual orientation? I consider myself heterosexual 47. Current relationship status? Single 48. When was your first kiss? It was a couple of months ago 49. Do you remember your first date? If so, with who was it? What did you do? I don’t think I’ve ever been asked out on a proper date so.. 50. Have you ever experienced heart-break? Unfortunately, yes. But no because of romance 51. Have you ever been in love? (If yes, skip to question 53) No 52. If no, how so? There’s.. this.. like, wall that’s up pretty high? I’ve been through a lot and I refuse to get hurt again. I think I’m just really scared to fall in love with someone. I have experienced crushes.. Now I have a small one on someone I know I can never be with 53. How do you know when you’re in love? n/a 54. What would be your ideal date? My ideal date would be somewhere nice and quiet, maybe like at a lake or beach and a picnic to get to know each other 55. What is your perspective on marriage? When the right person comes, I’ll be open to it. But for now? I’m way too young to get married 56. (only for non-virgins) Are you a sub, dom or switch? n/a 57. What do you think of relationships? I think it’s beautiful how you can share your love with one another 58. What do you think of one-night stands? I’m not someone to do this. I’d rather get to know someone first before I do anything else. Plus, I want to be super comfortable first and even then, I’d only be intimate when I would be in a relationship 59. Are you still a virgin? Yes, I am 60. Most attractive trait in a different person? Loyalty and caring 61. What matters most to you when it comes to a relationship? Being truthful with one another. And also, be patient with one another 62. Are you comfortable with PDA? Or would you be comfortable with PDA? I’m not completely sure. I don’t really like when someone is extreme. I think I’d prefer just holding hands or a hug? 63. Are you more of a type to be asked out or the type to ask the other out? The type to be asked out, I guess? 64. How do you express love to the other? I think I express my love to others by making sure they’re okay? I don’t really know how to answer this 65. Who is your celebrity crush? Ji Chang-Wook.... He’s so so so dreamy

GETTING DEEP QUESTIONS

66. Do you regret anything? Yes 67. Is there something you woule like to re-do? So, start all over again? I’m so grateful for where I am now. However, my past is really hurtful but even though, life goes the way it’s supposed to go.. right? 68. What is something you would never share with anyone? There are so many things that people don’t know about me or my past. Ruby knows a lot.. but she doesn’t know everything yet and I don’t think I can ever share my memories with someone 69. When was the last time you cried? Why did you cry? Just a couple of days ago. I suddenly felt overwhelmed after Felix’s birthday party. Probably a lot of, held back emotions at once 70. Most memorable event that happened in your time in St Judes? This could be anything: Solo being accepted by so many people. It’s still a miracle to me 71. One thing you wish you could do all over? Nothing 72. Someone you miss? There isn’t anyone that I currently miss 73. Something you wish you could forget? My past 74. Who has the biggest impact on you? Ruby 75. What is your perspective on love? Is it beautiful? Does it scare you? I think it can be beautiful in ways but it’s so scary, though? Love can be so hurtful. I’m not totally against it, I love to love, but --- it’s pretty unpredictable 76. What has hurt you in the past that you don’t want others to go through? Anything that I went through the age of 17 until I was adopted by Edwin and Jonah 77. What is something you have gained, something you have lost and something you let go of during the past year? Something I gained? A family. Something you’ve lost? Myself. But I’m doing very well in finding myself again. Something I let go of? Not much. My mind is still full of things that I wish I could forget 78. Have you ever lost a friend? do you wish you would still be friends? Not really? 79. Do you have any triggers? What is the history behind these triggers and are they related to any disorders or mental illnesses? I have panick attacks at certain events or scenarious? (OOC: She has PTSD and has 2 triggers, however, this hasn’t been diagnosed yet) 80. If you could meet your 16 year old self, what would tell them? You’re happy and you’re doing well. However, in a bout a year or so, someone is going to take you away from your family and you’re going through the worst pain in your life. Someone will introduce themselves as some kind of angel to you, but they will turn out to be your worst nightmare. You will go through a lot. Mentally. Physically. Emotionally. This may seem to go on for forever, but you are so strong that you are going to get through this. I’m sorry that I couldn’t protect you....

RANDOM QUESTION ROUND

81. Summer or Winter? Summer 82. Cats or dogs? Dogs 83. Beach or mountains? Beaches 84. Phone calls or texting? Phone calls 85. Have you ever skipped class? Only when I was dealing with mental health or sickness

#stjudestruthbooth

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my-whumpy-little-heart · 5 years ago

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Best AU Part 2: The Pining Awakens

This is a fanfiction written with the permission of @spookyboywhump and @ihaventwritteninsolong. This chapter features Allen’s characters Wren and Zander, with plenty of references to Edwin’s character Cathal.

Wrote this pure, unadulterated fluff to help get out of the writing block I got driven into near the end of May. A nice, happy palate cleanser if you will. Linked here is the previous part to this with proper explanation as to what’s going on with this universe lol.

-----------------------------------------

Zander hadn’t moved from his one spot on the couch since he’d come in some twenty minutes earlier. At first, Wren thought he might have just been in a mood. He got quiet like that sometimes after a particularly bad day... would sit on the couch, curled up as he broke down slowly, and Wren could only hope Zander would open up and talk a little so he could help.

But today was different. He’d been curled up, staring intently at his phone, typing and scrolling at odd intervals. A vaguely frustrated expression was set into his face, but there was something softer behind it. Slowly, carefully, Wren walked over from the kitchen and sat on a chair across from the couch.

Zander didn’t even look up.

“Soo… how was your day?” Wren asked softly, and Zander jerked in surprise. It was like he hadn’t even noticed his presence.

“Mmh, good,” he hummed, and Wren had to hold back a smile at his transparency.

“Anything... particularly good happen?”

“No.” Zander bit back a guilty smirk, but he saw the beginnings of it on his face. As he stood from his chair, Wren was sure he’d never heard a worse lie in his life.

“You sure?”

“Yeah.”

“So I’m guessing there’s also no reason you’ve had your nose buried in your phone since the minute you got here?”

Zander sighed heavily, breath hitching with barely contained laughter, clicking off his phone and shooting a tired glance at Wren. The shorter man had the height advantage for once, and walked over to stand above Zander as he curled further back into the couch. He had his hands on his hips and the smarmiest grin plastered on his face.

“C’mon. What’s their name, Zander?”

“Huh? Whose name?” he asked, still feigning ignorance.

“The cute person you met today and can’t stop thinking about, obviously.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Zander said quickly, almost too quietly for Wren to hear.

“And I don’t know your phone password so I can catch you off guard and verify my theory,” he smiled, and his friend sighed. They’d played that game before, and Zander had always lost in the end. He could change the passcode or leave entirely, but he knew he was fighting a losing battle at this point.

“So~” he sing-songed, “What’s their name?”

“I dunno, I didn’t catch it,” Zander shrugged.

Wren gave him a pointed glare.

“Cathal.”

The glare intensified.

“Ugh, Cathal Weber. That’s his full name. Happy now?”

“Very,” Wren grinned devilishly, flopping on the couch next to him and snuggling up close so he could stare at the glowing phone screen. It was open to the Instagram search bar, no results showing. “Did you find all his social media accounts yet?”

“Literally the opposite,” he groaned, “Sir Cute Hot Chocolate Man has apparently never seen a computer in his life.”

“So you met him at work, then,” Wren declared.

“Ugh, yes. And before you yell at me, he was new, and I did ask for his last name even though I didn’t need it,” he muttered.

“Zander…” he adopted a serious expression, voice heavy with false concern, “you can’t keep doing this...”

“Fuck you, I do what I want.” Zander grabbed a pillow and swung it weakly at him as the younger man snickered.

“Alright, so tell me more about this Cathal “Hot Chocolate Hottie” Weber,” he mimed quotes with his fingers, and Zander went red.

“Hey, don’t call him that!” he pouted indignantly.

“Oh right, I forgot. The cute nicknames are just for you lovebirds,” Wren teased.

“I just met him!”

“And look at the mess he’s made of you already…”

“I’m perfectly put together and can absolutely banish his glorious fucking face from my mind whenever I want to, thank you very much!” Zander shouted, face almost completely red at that point.

Wren let the silence hang in the air for a few seconds.

“So.”

“So, what?” Zander crossed his arms.

“You have a lot to say right now and you’re not letting it out.”

“Maybe.” Wren raised a brow, waiting for him to go on. “Okay! So, imagine the hottest, most angelic human being you’ve ever seen, then-”

“Zander, you lost me already.”

“Aghhhhh, are you seriously gonna make me describe him?”

“Listen, unless you want me to picture a person on fire every time you call this boy hot because that’s all the word hot means to me, then I’m gonna need some words to go off of,” Wren said, waving his hands animatedly as he spoke.

“Alright. Imagine this boy; he’s only a little shorter than me-”

“Aw come on, not another giant in the family!” he whined.

“Do you want to hear or not?!”

“Oh no, go on, go on. I’ll be crying in Short over here.” Wren sank back into the couch, and Zander sighed heavily before he spoke again.

“...okay. A little shorter than me, and cute kinda wavy hair that just looked really soft. It was sort of blond-ish, but a little sandier? Hard to describe, but he had the most breathtaking blue eyes and wore this apron in the same color that really brought them out...” he trailed off, expression dreamy and caught up in the memory of Cathal.

“Sorry, apron? You didn’t say he was a new coworker, unless...”

“No, he works at that flower shop down the street. Sunflora.”

“I still can’t believe they named it after a Pokémon,” Wren laughed. “But cute boy? Likes flowers? I can telepathically sense that he’s a twink? Might as well have taken a boy and printed ‘Zander’s type’ on his forehead.”

“Oh my god, Wren, shut up. You can’t just break into my mind to get a look at the hot guy, that’s a breach of privacy.”

“Hot, shmot. I wouldn’t waste my mind reading powers on that,” he waved a dismissive hand. “Now tell me about his alluring personality.” Wren wiggled his eyebrows jokingly and Zander rolled his eyes.

“Well, okay first off, he was super polite and nice, and he did the cutest thing where he forgot he was wearing his work name tag, right? And I felt really bad for reading his name off of it at the time and I think it freaked him out a bit, but it was really charming how genuine he was too you know? And then he ordered his hot chocolate with marshmallows, and that was just- really fucking cool of him. Like, could you ever get the courage, as a full grown adult, to ask for marshmallows in your drink and not immediately feel like someone’s gonna look down on you?”

“Zander, I still get carded for buying wine at the grocery store. I’ve transcended embarrassment and risen into a plane of pure indifference.”

“Okay, well that doesn’t apply to you. But still, even just working at a flower shop? Screw gender roles and societal norms and all that, but that doesn’t mean people aren’t gonna be climbing out of the woodwork to drag you for being a man who dares to get anywhere near flowers. I just- He had the most beautiful laugh. And he was wearing the cutest sweater too, with a collared shirt under it in these nice pastel colors and I don’t think I’ve ever seen anything more confident and fucking badass than that…” Zander trailed off, tears glistening in his eyes.

“...you need a minute?”

“No, no I’m good I just-” Zander sat up, wiping at his eyes, but when Wren wrapped him up in a hug he fell apart completely. “Wren… oh, Wren, he’s fucking incredible…” He tucked his head in the crook of Wren’s neck, arms shaking and eyes glassy, “...and I know he’s never gonna like me back, or I might never see him again, but I’m never gonna forget him for as long as I live…”

“Woah, hey, slow down,” Wren said, rubbing circles into his back absentmindedly. “You can’t just make assumptions like that before you know more. We’ve talked about this.”

“But every time, I swear, all the pretty guys are straight, and all the nice girls are gay, and if they aren’t any of those then they’re aro, or they’re taken…” he rested his full weight against Wren, who laid down sideways with a small ‘oof’, wrapping his arms tighter around his friend.

“Let me ask you a question then. How much time did it take him to say a word when he first stepped up to the counter?”

“Well… probably thirty seconds at least? But that was definitely my fault for tripping over my line, and then that whole name thing…”

“Mmhmm, right,” Wren nodded, “I’m only gonna take your first sentence into account there. So when he did speak, how much did he trip over his words?”

“Oh, a lot actually, but I think he just had a stutter.”

“Okay, fair,” he conceded, “different question then. What was he staring at when he wasn’t talking?”

“Uhhhh…” Zander trailed off, trying to remember. “I don’t know, he kinda looked around in front of him without moving his head very much, like he was lost?”

“That’s called ‘checking you out,’ dumbass. He’s definitely into you.”

Zander made an unbelieving ‘hmph’ sound and wrapped himself tighter around Wren, making sure to move further to the side so he didn’t suffocate him.

“Alright, you gotta move though so I can cook-” he started, but cut himself off when Zander looked up, his dark eyes silently pleading. “-but on second thought, I’m really hungry for pizza tonight. Wanna order out?”

“Yeah, sounds good,” Zander sighed, tucking his head back down as Wren dug out his phone and dialed their favorite restaurant. He was silent then, except for a quick whispered reminder to request an extra turn in the oven so their pizza would still be nice and crispy when it arrived.

They were quiet for a long while after that, and by the time the doorbell rang Zander’s breathing had evened out and he slept peacefully, still holding on to Wren.

Bonus: here are the only notes I made before writing this chapter.

“Plans: hmm wren. Then they get to cuddle because allen can’t fucking stop me. But wren is still being petty because i love him“

and that’s the tea, really.

#fluff #fanfiction #best au #zander/cathal #all my love to edwin and allen #no whump only love #pining #mutual pining #but zander doesn't know that #he is merely a Fool and will not listen to wren #wren: you two are in love #zander: very funny let me mourn now #dramatic man is dramatic #cuddling #no strings attached /allen/#i see you over there with your angst and cuddling but what if just. this.#ya know?#anyway posting time have fun with the happy things you wonderful people

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constant-calum · 6 years ago

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Watercolors (Brandon Arreaga) ~ Chapter Eight: Monet

Summary: 17 year old Amina Parker was far from a blank canvas, but he still managed to make a finger painting with her love.

A/N: And just like that it seems like the interest in this story has gone down. Let me know if I should continue this, because it feels like the last 3 or so chapters haven’t been too popular...

Part Seven Part Nine

Amina knew that Nick’s car wasn’t large enough to fit all seven of them, but she didn’t expect to be sat literally on top of Austin. She could tell he didn’t mind, but she found herself worried that she might crush the skinny boy. After all, Amina wasn’t exactly the lightest.

Even with the discomfort of the number of people in the car, the ride to Nick’s house was short and pleasant. The large houses passed by in a blur of well paved sidewalks and watered lawns. The boys all sang along to the NSYNC playing through the car speakers. Austin poked Amina in the side, causing her to squeal.

“Come on, Mimi! You sing this part.” He chirped.

If she could, Amina would have paled. Singing was definitely not her strong suit. However, with the stares of Edwin, Austin, Zion, and Zane from the backseat, she decided to put her pride behind her.

“It’s gonna be me!” She yelled.

Everyone laughed, covering the beat drop of the song. Amina couldn’t stop herself from smiling, loving the energy they were all sharing. As the car slowed to a stop in front of a large house, Amina’s breath got caught in her throat. They all piled out of Nick’s Range, and she looked up at the red brick house.

“Welcome to Casa Mara.” Nick chuckled, throwing an arm around Amina’s shoulders and pulling her in the direction of the front door.

The thick oak door closed with a heavy click, leaving Amina to admire the elegance of Nick’s house. It was somehow more extravagant than she expected. The halls were lined in delicate embellished wallpaper, the floors were either stark white marble or dark mahogany. Amina couldn’t stop herself from gaping at the giant chandelier hanging in the foyer.

“Nicolas? Is that you?” A loud, very Jersey-Italian voice called from somewhere in the house.

Nick just sighed, motioning for everyone to follow him. “Yeah, it’s me, Ma. I have the boys with me.”

The group rounded the corner of a long hallway, finding themselves in the kitchen. Once again, Amina found herself gaping at the stainless steel appliances, and shiny granite countertops. Standing over a large pot was a woman in her early fifties, dyed black hair tied up into a messy bun. She turned to meet the group with a smile.

“Hi boys!” Her eyes turned to Amina and Zane. “And who do we have here?”

Nick rolled his eyes, performing an action Amina knew she would get slapped for in her own house. “These are some friends from school, Amina and Zane, the ones I’ve been telling out about.”

As Nick spoke, his mother went down the line of the four boys that weren’t her son. She hugged each of them, placing a wet kiss on their cheek with a loud smack. By the smiles on the boys’ faces, Amina could tell that hanging out at Nick’s House was their favorite.

“Well, Amina and Zane, it’s nice to meet you both.”

Mrs. Mara hugged Zane first, placing a kiss on her cheek that Zane looked happy to receive. Amina felt a little more awkward, wondering how this lady was already treating her like she had known her for years. However, she still got her hug and kiss all the same.

“So we’re gonna go down to the basement, and probably go out for dinner and some laser tag later.” Nick chimed.

His mother looked slightly disappointed. “Are you sure? I can always cook up something for you guys here.”

Once again, Nick rolled his eyes, leading the group out of the kitchen and back down the hallway. Amina did her best to smile as they walked out.

“Thanks Mom,” Nick called, now considerably far away. “But we’re gonna go out. We’ll be in the basement in the meantime.”

. . .

Maybe Amina was terrible at laser tag. The boys didn’t need to know that! But as she rounded a corner, a loud zap went off, leaving Amina’s vest dead. When she looked to see who the culprit responsible for her second death (in twenty minutes), she was surprised to see Brandon’s face smiling back at her.

In the twenty-five seconds it took for her best to come back to life, and put her back in the game, she crossed the tight space, standing next to Brandon. His white teeth glowed an eerie purple under the blacklight of the laser tag arena.

“How many times have you died?” He questioned, looking down at the curvy girl in front of him.

Amina sighed, crossing her arms like a defiant toddler. “Twice. But like it’s unfair! Y’all keep popping out of nowhere!”

Amina knew that when she got fustrated, a southern accent peeked through her New Jersey exterior. She blamed her mother’s Georgia roots.

“Another thing to note about Amina, she sucks at laser tag.”

Just like that, Amina’s vest came back to life. As Brandon raised his gun to shoot at her again, she swatted it down. Amina couldn’t help herself from smiling as he giggled: Brandon’s laugh was contagious.

Amina was about to head back into the thick of the game when Brandon pulled her close, her back to his chest. She wondered why he caged her in that position.

“B? What are you doing?”

Her question was answered by Zane and Edwin rounding the corner, shooting relentlessly at the two. Brandon was successful with using Amina as a human shield, and within seconds, her vest was dead.

“Love you, Mimi!” Brandon called as he ran away, leaving Amina in the center of the dark, blacklight hallway.

Once again, she sighed, placing her hands on her hips and waiting for her vest to power up again. Both Edwin and Zane stood laughing for a second before patting her on the shoulder and moving further into the arena. As she watched them go, Amina realized that Brandon hadn’t gotten hit once.

. . .

Amina blew on the glittery purple ink, willing it to dry before she closed her notebook. She knew that writing that night would be easy, simply just recalling the facts of the day. She found herself not even embellishing it: it was better that way.

Her silk scarf covered head popped up at the sound of a knock at the door. She called for them to come in. Amina smiled at her little sister, who sported a scarf just like her own.

“What’s up, Chey?”

Cheyenne ventured further into Amina’s room, taking a seat at the foot of her bed. “Nothing much. I just wanted to say hi.”

“Well hi. How was your day?” Amina found herself smiling at her younger sister.

“It was alright, I guess. Some white girls kept trying to touch my hair. I kept telling them to stop, but you know they never listen.”

“So what did you do? You didn’t just sit there and let them touch it, did you?”

Cheyenne looked guilty, turning her focus down to her pink pajamas. “I didn’t really know what else I could do.”

Amina sighed, crossing the room to go sit across from the younger girl. She crossed her legs under herself, and looked her sister straight in the eye.

“What you do is, you hold your shoulders back, look those girls straight in the eyes and say, ‘I am Cheyenne Monet Parker. No one touches me. Now, I said stop. Get your white hands off of my hair.’ And Cheyenne, I’m telling you, they will stop right there and then.”

Her little sister scrunched her nose up, giving a very preteen-ish scoff. “Why’d you have to use my middle name?”

They both burst into laughter. “It adds to the drama, Chey! Don’t ruin it. You gotta say the whole thing so that they really understand the point.”

From somewhere in the room, Amina’s phone began to ring. She sighed, climbing down from her bed to locate the device. After digging through her backpack, she finally found it, but by then it had stopped ringing. A bright message popped up on the glass face of her phone from Zane.

Amina Nicole Parker, you have some explaining to do!

#escritos #watercolors #arreaga #brandon arreaga #prettymuch #prettymuch fanfic #prettymuch imagine

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feadae · 6 years ago

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@bliss-delight-jr Here are the song recs you requested! The list ended up being kinda comically long; way too long to put in a reply, so here it is (you asked for bops and jams and I added a bunch of bangers too bc I have a ton of bangers in my playlists and not many jams)

-“Topsy Turvy” from Hunchback of Notre Dame – movie and musical versions are both amazing, but the movie version is more of a consistent bop; the musical version is just a few clicks slower and is split in half by two numbers, which are both amazing, but don’t have the feel of a bop) -“Roundtable Rival” by Lindsey Stirling – a freaking JAM and also a BANGER -“Thrift Shop” by Vitamin String Quartet – a JAM -“La Llorona” from Coco – not a bop, a jam, or a banger, but like, it’s so GOOD -“The Court of Miracles” from Hunchback – again, the movie and musical versions are both great, and I’ve actually been using the musical version to get me up and moving in the morning, but the movie version is WAY more of a bop in terms of tempo and general feel; in the musical, Clopin sort of relishes having caught Quasi and Phoebus and the song is a slower kind of menacing, but in the movie, Clopin revels in being about to kill the Boys and the song is fast and bouncy and lively and a bop -“I’m the One That’s Cool” by The Guild feat. Felicia Day – a banger if I’ve ever heard one -“96,000” from In the Heights – a bop -“Carnaval del Barrio” from In the Heights – a jam that becomes a bop that becomes a banger -“The Rocky Road to Dublin” by The High Kings – a BOP -“Facade” from Jekyll and Hyde – closest to bop? I judge the difference between bops, jams, and bangers by the kind of movements that I naturally make when I hear the songs, and I make “banger” movements when I listen to “Facade,” but there’s something in my brain that’s telling me it’s too lively to be a banger, so I don’t know. It’s good, regardless. -“Murder, Murder” from Jekyll and Hyde – now this is a banger, for sure. A musical theater banger. -“Joy of the Lord” from Hands on a Hardbody – first, that’s a hardbody TRUCK. Don’t get any ideas. And “Joy of the Lord” is kinda repetitive, but it’s such a bop; I love it -“Born in Laredo” from Hands on a Hardbody – somewhere between a jam and a banger; this is an angry ballad, and I’m LIVING for it -“Can’t Sleep Love” by Pentatonix – somewhere between a jam and a bop -“Tavern Song (Thai Mol Piyas)” from Hunchback of Notre Dame – now this one is only in the musical, but the chorus is such a bop! The verses are closer to a jam and the whole song is so good. Fun fact: it’s the only song in the whole show that includes a language that is not English, Latin, or French! -“Esmeralda” from Hunchback of Notre Dame – I’m so sorry that there’s so much Hunchback on here, but it’s Alan Menken and Stephen Schwartz’s fault for writing such Damn Good Music, and I’m a little obsessed rn since I’m in the thing. But “Esmeralda” is the Act I finale and it’s a musical theater BANGER. I get CHILLS every time. -“Un Poco Loco” from Coco – a bop, pure and simple. It’s so cute. -“Istanbul” by They Might Be Giants – also a bop. Very catchy. Fun fact: the first time I heard this song it was a Barbershop cover on YouTube, and for a solid five years I didn’t understand that it was a cover and not an original, bc I’d never heard the original and I’d never heard of They Might Be Giants, so I figured it was the name of the quartet the guy singing it was in (it was one of those quartet-with-yourself things YouTube vocalists love but I digress). I also didn’t get the concept of YouTube cover artists arranging their own covers if they wanted to genre-bend, so I was v disappointed when I couldn’t find the sheet music for my own Barbershop quartet to sing at contest -“I See Fire” by Peter Hollens – a jam -“Help!” by The Beatles – a bop -“All for the Best” from Godspell – a very fun bop that plays on multiple meanings of the phrase “all for the best” and there are some pretty dang cute videos of high school productions of this one -“Alas for You” from Godspell – a BANGER. A righteous-anger BANGER. If I recall the plot of the show correctly, this is Jesus losing it in the temple that folks turned into a marketplace. -“Flip Flop and Fly” by Ellis Hall – the first place I heard this was in Chicken Run as a kid, and I don’t know if it was written specifically for the movie or not. All I know is that it’s a futzing BOP. -“Flintstones” by Jacob Collier – a BOP. -“What the Heck I Gotta Do” from 21 Chump Street – 21 Chump Street is a 15-minute mini-musical written & composed by Lin-Manuel Miranda, based on a true story, and “What the Heck I Gotta Do” is such a cute bop. -“Run, Freedom, Run!” from Urinetown – Yes that’s what the musical is called. It’s an Experience. “Run, Freedom, Run!” is a BOP, though. -“Cop Song” from Urinetown – A bop that becomes a banger -“Jet Set” from Catch Me If You Can – a BOP. Honestly this whole musical is so good. It’s a bit like Cheez-Its in that you kind of forget about it when you’ve got more interesting options available, but then you choose it and you’re like, “I forgot how good this was!” That’s Catch Me. And yes, it’s based on the Leo DiCaprio movie. -“Somebody’s Eyes” from Footloose: the Musical – I don’t really have strong feelings about this musical, but “Somebody’s Eyes” is fun. It’s a jam. -“Jolly Holiday” from Mary Poppins: the Musical – A bop. Mary Poppins the movie was my CHILDHOOD and I got really excited when I heard that it was a musical too, and I love the musical. They add huge chunks to the songs that aren’t in the movie, but they sound good and stand pretty well on their own. “Supercal” and “Step in Time” get honorable mentions, because I adore them both, but the musical versions don’t really fit into the bop/jam/banger categories. I 100% recommend watching a video of “Step in Time” though; the choreography is KILLER. -“We Go Together” by David Tennant and Catherine Tate – this is a bonus track on the soundtrack for the Much Ado About Nothing where David and Catherine were Benedick and Beatrice, and this song is such a cute bop that encapsulates the Beatrice/Benedick dynamic really well. It’s great and I kinda wanna see if I can convince a future boyfriend to sing it with me. -“Moon Goddess” by Jocelyn Hagen – this is a choir piece, and you wouldn’t expect a choir piece to be a banger, but “Moon Goddess” is a BANGER. Trust me. -“Godzilla Eats Las Vegas” by Eric Whitacre – it’s a concert band piece and I guess it could maybe be a banger but I really just want you to listen to it because it’s exactly what it sounds like and it’s HILARIOUS. -“Incantation and Dance” by John Barnes Chance – another concert band piece, and kinda long, but it’s a jam that becomes a banger, and it’s spoopy too; perfect for Halloween Season -“The Typewriter” by Leroy Anderson – a concert band piece where the primary soloist plays an Actual Literal Typewriter and it’s great. A bop. -“Livin’ It Up on Top” from Hadestown – a BOP. The musical is one of those concept-album musicals and it’s a Great-Depression-era retelling of the Orpheus and Euridice story and it’s GREAT. -“Way Down Hadestown” from Hadestown – also a bop -“Our Lady of the Underground” from Hadestown – Persephone gets to start Act II with a kickass solo and it’s a JAM. I adore it and I really wanna sing it for a hypothetical voice recital -“You’re Gonna Go Far, Kid” by The Offspring – a BANGER -“When You’re Evil” by Aurelio Voltaire – a JAM. A SPOOPY jam. -“The Devil Went Down to Georgia” by The Charlie Daniels Band – a bop and a banger all at once. I adore it. -“Down in New Orleans” from The Princess and the Frog – both the reprise and the original are such good bops, but I especially love the reprise because Anika Noni Rose’s voice is ANGELIC. -“Through Heaven’s Eyes” from The Prince of Egypt – I adore this whole soundtrack with my whole soul, but “Through Heaven’s Eyes” is the only song that really fits into a bop/jam/banger category, and that only barely. It’s a bop if you squint, but regardless it’s really good and I love it. -“The Mad Hatter” from Wonderland – a musical theater banger. The new Mad Hatter is a woman, and she’s a mezzo-soprano, so you know what that means: a jazzy introduction song where she gets to belt her heart out and it’s great. -“I Will Prevail” from Wonderland – the Mad Hatter’s other solo, also a banger, goes even harder than the first one, because It’s Act Two, Bitches, Shit’s Gettin’ Real -“I’ll Think of You” by Kurt Hugo Schneider – a cute little a capella bop. I definitely recommend watching the video on this one because the patty-cake thing the singers do while singing is really impressive and really cute. -“Oh, the Thinks You Can Think” from Seussical the Musical – listen this musical is so cute, and I’d love to play Gertrude McFuzz, because she’s so cute, but I’d ESPECIALLY love to play the Cat in the Hat, because he falls into the category of Chaotic Good/Chaotic Neutral, Spritely Character Where Gender Doesn’t Matter in Casting (others in this category include Puck from Midsummer, Ariel from The Tempest, and Clopin from Hunchback—all characters I want to play). And this song is the opening number and it’s a really fun bop. -“Tango: Maureen” from RENT – a jam. Makes me want to learn how to tango. -“La Vie Boheme” from RENT – a BANGER. -“The Road Goes On” from The Lord of the Rings: the Musical – YES, this is a real musical. YES, I’m as excited as you are. This song is a bop, through and through. -“Both Sides of the Coin” from The Mystery of Edwin Drood – a BOP. The whole musical is wonderful and I love it and you should listen to it (have the Wikipedia summary pulled up while you do; since it’s based on a book that never technically ends, since Dickens died before he could finish it, the musical is a solve-it-yourself with multiple endings, where the audience picks the ending every night) -“Be Good or Be Gone” from Pump Boys and Dinettes – somewhere between a bop and a banger -“Papaoutai” by Pentatonix feat. Lindsey Stirling – a bop -“Ac-Cent-Tchu-Ate the Positive” by Bing Crosby feat. The Andrews Sisters – a cute little bop -“Hobbit Drinking Medley” by Peter Hollens feat. Hank Green – such a bop. So cute. I really like the video -“Independence!” from The Trail to Oregon – this is a StarKid one, and it’s so fun. A bop. -“Rogues Are We” from Holy Musical B@man! – more StarKid. Closer to a banger. Especially fun to sing along when you’re alone in the car and you can belt out all the notes in all the character voices with no one to give you a funny look for it *I was trying not to do this, but just anything by Celtic Woman. It’s all so good! -“Finnegan’s Wake” by The High Kings – such a BOP, good LORD. -“Way Ahead of My Time” from Taxi Cabaret – it’s a bop, and it’s sung by a gay caveman. That is all you need to know. (There are a bunch of really good professional versions but I found a high schooler called Wyatt Walberg on YouTube doing it for his school and his version is really good) -“Any Kind of Dead Person” from Ghost Quartet – a BOP. And another spoopy bop, no less. -“Alive” by Skipinnish – I don’t remember where I first heard this, and my brain is telling me there’s a distinct probability that either you or Sock recommended it to me (OH I think it’s in a playlist one of y’all made for CotIG), so if you already know about it, then this is a reminder to listen to it again, because isn’t it so good?! A bop. -“Danger On the Dance Floor” by The Cog is Dead – A BANGER. A TANGO. A GREAT STORY. WHAT MORE COULD YOU WANT. -“Nicknackatory” by Mr. B, the Gentleman Rapper – so apparently gentleman rap (I think it’s called chap-hop, which makes me really happy) is an actual genre, and I love it with all my heart. This is hilarious. A bop.

So...yeah

#cali.txt #song recommendations #bliss-delight-jr

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bryancroidragon · 6 years ago

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Dance at Club Lavender

Alright, it is here. It doesn’t fit with the canon but I was writing this before tonight’s stream so I have a justification. The characters featured in this that are of my creation can be used in Artventure, Leon was created by @missvulpix212 and his name has become canon as of tonight’s stream as everyone who has been present for that knows. I’m not going to lie, this story sucks. I keep forgetting that Maggie is the police chief. Is she? I can’t remember if she is or not. Thank you to the people at @internetremix for giving me something else to write while I write stories that are not Noir inspired. Also on one minor note here, I’m definitely going to need to figure out a way to reconcile this with what is now canon. That seems difficult to me. Also another minor note, the posthumous character of Charles was not actually insane, that is just Edwin’s opinion of him.

District Attorney Richard Capp sat opposite of both Detective Sam McSams and Officer Maggie O’Hera in his office. A man of sixty-five years with a white mustache, Capp wore round eyeglasses, kept his hair slicked back and had a cigarette holder with him at all times. He did not look happy with either of them.

“Neither of you had a warrant for Mr. Carthach’s arrest.” Said Capp, his voice a deep baritone.

“He shot me in the shoulder!” protested Sam.

“You and Officer O’Hera attacked a guest of his, one Lawrence McGee, I am told. It seems that you are both in the wrong… As a candidate for mayor I cannot allow arrests to be made without a warrant, thus have I let him go.”

“McGee was a murderer!” exclaimed Maggie. She could not believe what she was hearing. “Edwin Carthach was harboring him in his house!”

Capp shook his head. He took his cigarettes holder from his mouth and tapped the cigarette’s ash into the ashtray on his desk. “And so you killed Mr. Carthach’s guest? Officer O’Hera, no matter how many murderers you send to Beelzebub it will never bring your partner back… Perhaps if you were fully competent he’d still be alive.”

Maggie clenched her fists and glared at Capp. Her reaction only caused Capp to smile.

Standing outside the office, Edwin Carthach listened and shook his head. Capp was such an asshole. The man might have gotten him out of jail but that didn’t mean Edwin had to like the old bastard.

Edwin had served in the war and an old war buddy of his was now a criminal. Edwin was an associate of that criminal and that criminal had killed Maggie’s partner. How often had he heard that story? Ten times probably. Edwin didn’t really like hearing it but the criminal had saved his life during the war. On the other hand the man was on the opposite side of the law and being an associate of a gangster was not a good thing. How long until he became targeted by a rival? Would they target his wife?

Upon Maggie’s exit from Capp’s office, Edwin quickly whispered in her ear “You’ll find him at Club Lavender.” And with that Edwin made his own exit, heading for the door only for Maggie to run after him.

“Wait a minute, who are you talking about?”

“The gangster who killed your partner. I wish I could give you a bit more information but he’s got a lethal temper and his right-hand man, to quote others, is meaner than diarrhea.”

Instantly Maggie knew whom Edwin meant. The right-hand man was non-other than Charles “Beret” Cliff, formerly a freelance hit man who had been involved in a massacre a few cities over. So he was working for someone was he? That gave Maggie some idea of who to look for.

Maggie made her way to Club Lavender immediately. It was the only place in Internet City that was the color lavender, hence the name. Even the neon was lavender colored. The founder of the club had been a gangster known as Hackman and he had founded it back during the days of the war. Hackman had been missing for weeks, some said he had left town others said he had been murdered. Maggie didn’t know who now owned the place and upon arrival she made an inquiry to someone who worked there.

Club Lavender did not open until after sunset, that was how it had always been. At this time it was just practice for the dancing girls, dance sing, the piano player would play his piano, if the owner would be in this early was anyone’s guess. It was the piano player that Maggie asked. He was a tall, thin black man by name of Henderson. His answer was: “Vincenzo Nitto.”

Vincenzo Nitto? That was the gangster that was known as “the Cleaver.” Vincenzo “the Cleaver” Nitto owned the Club Lavender? From one gangster to another… Maggie was finding the belief that Hackman had been murdered very likely. Had the Cleaver been the one to kill her partner? Hackman was unlikely, as Edwin had said she’d find her partner’s killer at the Club Lavender and with Hackman having been missing for weeks he was out of the question.

But what if it was not the Cleaver? All Edwin had said was that Maggie would find her partner’s killer at the Club Lavender. Suppose it was someone who frequented the place. If the killer’s right hand was “Beret” Cliff then what if it was an allied gang leader to the Cleaver and not the Cleaver himself?

How was Maggie supposed to know? She would have to come back later when the Club Lavender was full of people.

Returning to her work, one thing kept going through her mind that day: the night her partner died. The two had decided to take in a movie: “Oliver Twist.” When it was all over, the two went their separate ways but it had not been long until after Maggie’s partner had turned a corner that she heard four gunshots. Maggie ran to the around the corner and found her partner with three bullet wounds in his chest and one in his neck, he was lying beneath a street lamp and his blue cap was lying not far from his head. The killer was gone but her partner… He had not been gone in the metaphorical sense, he still lived but not for long. Maggie fell to her knees and cradled her partner in her arms. He opened his mouth to speak and then life left his body.

Maggie never did find the killer but now with Edwin’s clue maybe she would. “You’ll find him at club Lavender” he had said. He had also stated that the right hand of the guy was “Beret” Cliff so she if she found Beret then she would find the gangster who killed her partner.

Going undercover was what she would have to do and as much as she hated to do it, Maggie would have to wear that dress again.

When night came, Maggie put on that sexy dress in addition to a black wig. She could not risk herself being recognized. After that she drove on down to the Club Lavender.

Entering the club, she listened to the jazz music and the chatter of the patrons. Her eyes darting back and forth, looking for “Beret” Cliff she felt a hand fall upon her shoulder and then heard a familiar voice whisper into her ear: “Wearing the sexy dress again I see. Love the wig, toots.”

It was Sam.

Maggie tensed and whispered to him: “What are you doing here?”

“I saw you and Carthach getting chummy. I followed him and asked him what you two had been talking about.”

Maggie turned to look at Sam. He was wearing glasses. “Those aren’t Edwin Carthach’s glasses are they?”

“No, no, of course not!”

They were. Maggie knew that Sam had taken Edwin’s glasses, taken them right off his face. His glasses had a particular design to them in that the lenses were shaped like the Double Crown of Egypt. It was an unfortunate part of a will that dictated the owner of the estate had to wear the glasses that Edwin’s grandfather Charles Carthach had thought up. Edwin had been perfectly happy with his round glasses but was thankful that he, his father and grandfather were all nearsighted. Charles Carthach had been a very strange man, right down to his will stating being that he be buried upside down beneath the police station in a baseball bat shaped coffin. His son Irving’s will dictated that he should be cremated and his ashes placed in the base of a statue in the family manor. The night Irving died, Maggie had been there to investigate possible foul play and one of the first questions she had asked Edwin was: “Your dad’s will doesn’t say he has to be buried beneath the station in a bat shaped coffin does it?”

To say that no one noticed someone who was not Edwin Carthach wearing the Carthach family glasses would be untrue. For some, Edwin Carthach was just a name. To one person in the club however, it was the name of an old war buddy but there was someone at Club Lavender who only knew Edwin Carthach as a name but knew the face of Sam McSams.

The band started up a slow song and a singer started singing. There was something terribly familiar about her voice but Maggie and Sam did not have the time to see who it was, to blend in they joined the dancing couples.

Maggie and her partner had once danced together like that. Her heart had been all a flutter when she had danced with him she had been as giddy as a schoolgirl. In fact, she had been a schoolgirl. Those were the days before she had become a cop. Those had been happier days. Those days were long gone and Maggie never knew if she would ever know those days again.

Her eyes searching the crowd, Maggie finally spied “Beret” Cliff sitting with a man that everyone had either heard of or seen: Vincenzo “The Cleaver” Nitto.

Vincenzo “The Cleaver” Nitto was in his mid to late twenties. He was a man of average height with enlarged hands and cheekbones and an enlarged nose. He was wearing a tuxedo like many another male patron of the Club Lavender except he wasn’t just any patron. He was the owner.

Maggie’s eyes and the Cleaver’s eyes met and immediately their eyes narrowed. The former now knew that the Cleaver had killed her partner and the latter had seen straight through the flimsy disguise of a black wig. The Cleaver’s eyes had always been narrowed having recognized Sam as wearing his old war buddy’s glasses but upon recognizing Maggie his eyes narrowed even more.

Maggie and her partner had been investigating a rising hood. He kept getting higher and higher in the underworld’s hierarchy every month it seemed. A massacre in a garage had been attributed to him, the rubbing out of William Karloff had also been attributed to him and this hood was the person they now knew as the Cleaver, a criminal who had a reputation for carrying out murders himself.

There was one feeling in Maggie’s eyes upon seeing the man who had killed her partner. There was a number of ways of describing it: hate, hatred, loathing, detestation, dislike, distaste, abhorrence, execration, aversion, hostility, enmity, animosity, antipathy, revulsion, disgust, contempt and odium. Whichever word one chose that was the feeling that Maggie felt upon seeing the Cleaver and knowing that he had killed her partner.

The Cleaver pointed at Maggie and Sam while whispering to Beret. The hate in Maggie’s eyes then turned to something else. Call it fear, call it terror, call it fright, call it fearfulness, call it horror, call it alarm, call it panic, call it agitation, call it trepidation, call it dread, call it consternation, call it dismay, call is distress, anxiety, worry, angst, unease, uneasiness, apprehension, nervousness, nerves, perturbation or even foreboding but that was what had replaced the hate in Maggie’s eyes. She and Sam were two and no doubt the Cleaver had many henchmen here in Club Lavender.

“It’s the Cleaver.” Whispered Sam.

“I know and he recognizes me!” Returned Maggie.

“I can summon the sax gremlins.”

“Times New Roman was one, here we are surrounded. We need to try and avoid a bloodbath for them.”

A tap on Maggie’s shoulder then caused the dancing between her and Sam to end. It was Henderson. “Mr. Nitto would like to see you.” He then looked at Sam and said: “You too.”

The office of Vincenzo Nitto was, like the rest of the club, lavender colored. On his desk was a picture of him and his infantry during the war. Edwin could be seen, lacking the family glasses but he was unmistakable. His head brought a crescent moon to mind and the only people who had heads that brought crescent moon’s to mind was his family. The Cleaver himself both sat behind his lavender colored desk on a lavender colored chair with his on Maggie. Several henchmen were in the room with him with Beret standing at the Cleaver’s right. Sam and Maggie were both standing before the desk.

“Officer O’Hera…” said the Cleaver in his volcanic tirade, smoked-burnished voice. “I’ve been expecting you for a while. What took you? Had I known you were coming I would have got a party started in your honor…”

“You killed Leon!” exclaimed Maggie pulling a gun and pointing it at Maggie. Immediately, Beret and the henchmen pulled out their own guns and pointed it at Maggie.

The Cleaver could only laugh. “Go ahead, pull the trigger. You shoot me, they shoot you and your little avenging for your dead partner ends up being for nothing.” He then looked at Sam. “Now who the hell are you?”

“He’s Sam McSams!” exclaimed a voice with a Boston accent. Sam and Maggie both turned to see a skeleton in the doorway. It was none other than Times New Roman.

“Oh, him.” The Cleaver lit a cigarette and began to smoke it. “I heard that Edwin shot you in the shoulder. I’d say I wished you had been shot in the heart or the head but even during the war Edwin was never really much of one for killing. He was a bit reluctant to be an officer in the trenches. He always tried to avoid battle and never carried his sidearm unless he had to and never kept it loaded. Guess becoming involved with me has made him better.”

Maggie put her gun away and took a breath before speaking again. “If I can’t kill you I will take you to justice and I will see you hang.”

The Cleaver smiled as he blew some smoke. “Keep telling yourself that, O’Hera. I’ve got some people who would prevent me from ever ending up in such a situation. Do you think you coppers are perfect? Do you think anyone on the side of the law is perfect? Here are the facts, I’ve got police, I’ve got judges, attorneys, I am in more of a position of power than you are right now. So here is some advice, go chase after someone else, you’ll either end up dead or with me free. Now either walk away or die.” He then looked at Sam and said: “And for God’s sake get Edwin’s glasses back to him or I’ll return them to him myself after I’ve had you fitted for a Chicago overcoat.”

Leave Maggie did but silently did she swear. She swore she would see the Cleaver hang one day. She did not care how many times it took. She would see the rope around the Cleaver’s neck and would be there when he either died by a broken neck or by suffocating.

Once more at Carthach Manor, Maggie and Sam with the Sax Gremlin sat opposite of Edwin, looking at his glasses, in his office. Maggie was the first to speak and her words were: “Thank you for telling me who it was even if you didn’t tell me the name.”

“Always knew you’d figure it out.” Edwin got out of his chair and opened the office window. He then hurled the glasses out the window. “Good riddance to my certifiable grandfather’s rubbish, I am changing my family’s name back to what it originally was, I am sending in the order for my grandfather’s body to be reburied here, I am doing so much to wipe his insanity from everything here.” He then turned and said to Sam: “Sorry about the shoulder.”

“Don’t worry about it. Happens all the time.” Sam cracked a smile.

Edwin then looked at the Saxophone Gremlin. “I apologize for kicking you.” The Saxophone Gremlin responded but because Edwin did not understand what she said he was left standing there with a confused look on his face before saying: “And the same to you.”

“Do you know the names of anyone aligned with the law that the Cleaver has on his payroll?” asked Maggie.

“Just one: Richard Capp.”

#internet remix #gremnoire #sam mcsams #maggie o'hera #saxophone gremlin #artventure

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blogsmith57 · 3 years ago

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Movies Ansd Tv With Pina Colada Song

Movies And Tv With Pina Colada Song Rupert Holmes

Pina Colada Song Wikipedia

Escape The Pina Colada Song Video

Two Pina Coladas Song

Pina Colada Song Video

Janet learns the lyrics to the Pina Colada song. Janet learns the lyrics to the Pina Colada song. On the movie the sweetest thing who sings the pina colada song its a womens group?

In The Number Ones, I’m reviewing every single #1 single in the history of the Billboard Hot 100, starting with the chart’s beginning, in 1958, and working my way up into the present.

***

At least in retrospect, the ’70s must have been the wildest, most motley, most all-over-the-place decade in the history of popular music. Some genuine musical revolutions either started in the ’70s or matured during the decade: Hip-hop, punk, disco, funk, prog. But if you look at the ’70s through the lens of the pop charts, as this column does, you see excitement and tedium locked in a constant struggle for dominance throughout the decade, with novelty sneaking around the outside and getting some jabs in.

So really, the ’70s ended the only way they possibly could’ve done: With a badly-sung, infernally catchy soft-rock ditty, an infidelity-themed story-song that ends in an O. Henry twist. Rupert Holmes’ “Escape (The Piña Colada Song)” has popped up on movie and TV-show soundtracks countless times in the past four decades; it has earned its place within our shared consciousness. And yet I can’t imagine ever being in a situation where I would actively seek the song out, where I would want to hear it. But then, I was three months old when the thing hit #1. Maybe I’m not supposed to know what motherfuckers were thinking.

Rupert Holmes, the man who wrote and produced “Escape” and who thus owns the chart transition from ’70s to ’80s, had been part of the pop-music dream factory for a decade when he got to #1. Holmes was born in the UK, the son of an American Army officer and an English woman. He spent the early years of his childhood in the English village of Northwich and the later years in the New York suburb of Nanuet. Holmes’ parents were both musicians, and Holmes went to the Manhattan School Of Music on a clarinet scholarship. Pretty soon after he finished school, he went to work as a pop-music professional.

Holmes was working as an arranger in the late ’60s when he joined the Cuff Links, an anonymous bubblegum group that also featured Ron Dante, the lead singer of the Archies’ “Sugar, Sugar.” When the Cuff Links broke up, Holmes recorded a song called “Jennifer Tomkins.” The single, released under the name Street People, peaked at #36. In 1971, Holmes wrote a cannibalism-themed joint called “Timothy” for the Pennsylvania band the Buoys, and that one peaked at #17. Holmes also wrote ad jingles and scored a little-seen 1970 Western called Five Savage Men. He was in the game.

Holmes released Widescreen, his solo debut, in 1974. Before 1979’s Partners In Crime, the breakout album that gave us “Escape,” Holmes knocked out four solo LPs. None of them sold, but those records helped Holmes build a name for himself as a writer of funny, irony-infused story-songs. Barbra Streisand was a fan, and Holmes wrote songs for her and for the absurdly popular soundtrack for the 1976 film A Star Is Born. Holmes didn’t score a charting single of his own until 1978’s “Let’s Get Crazy Tonight,” which peaked at #72. Private Stock, the label that released “Let’s Get Crazy Tonight,” went out of business when the song was still on the charts.

Holmes got the idea for “Escape (The Piña Colada Song)” one night when he was flipping through The Village Voice, the newspaper that once employed me. (“Escape” is the second #1 hit built around classified ads; it arrived eight years after the Honey Cone’s “Want Ads.”) Inspired, Holmes hatched the narrative of a bored couple who, while attempting to cheat on each other, accidentally go out on a blind date with each other. As originally written, the chorus started with the line “if you like Humphrey Bogart.” While he was getting ready to record it, though, Holmes decided that his own songs had too many references to older movies, and to Bogart in particular. He changed “Humphrey Bogart” to “piña coladas” at the last possible minute simply because he didn’t want to let down any of the real Rupert Holmes heads out there.

If you stop to think about “Escape (The Piña Colada Song)” for even a second, it’s a pretty nasty little song. The very first line is this: “I was tired of my lady/ We’d been together too long.” The song’s narrator is unhappy with relationship, but he doesn’t do anything to end it. Instead, he sneaks around behind his girlfriend’s back, falling for a sentence in a classified ad. The person described in that ad seems hopelessly basic. Likes: Fruity mixed drinks, rain, champagne, beach fucking. Dislikes: Yoga, health food. But apparently the guy is basic, too, since a few lines of small-print newsprint text are all he needs to ditch his relationship. He takes out his own ad, responding to the first, and he includes grandiose verbiage about planning an “escape.”

He does not successfully execute that escape. It turns out that the girl who took out that classified ad is his own girlfriend, who is just as bored with the relationship as he is. They meet up at an Irish pub and instantly figure out exactly what just happened. The song presents this ending as a happy surprise. In interviews years later, Holmes says that the guy was supposed to be an asshole, and a passive one. The girl, who is also attempting to cheat, was at least the one with the wherewithal to instigate the whole episode. Holmes was hoping that they’d both realize how much they had in common, that they’d recommit themselves to each other. This seems unlikely.

Movies And Tv With Pina Colada Song Rupert Holmes

I have questions. For instance: Where does this couple go from here? They both know that they can’t trust each other. They also know that they don’t really know each other. They’ve got all these completely elementary preferences that they haven’t communicated. After that initial rush of recognition, how does the rest of this relationship look? How long do they stay together? How are they not incredibly pissed off at one another from the moment they spy each other across the bar? How are they not, at the same time, both consumed with guilt upon getting caught? I don’t like this couple’s chances.

I don’t know if this is a good story, but it’s good storytelling. I don’t much like the characters or where they end up, but Holmes sketches out the whole narrative in a few quick words, never losing sight of his own melody. This doesn’t change the reality that the actual music behind this story is exactly the kind of wack-ass soft-rock pablum that I cannot stand. It’s got an awkward, clumpy beat that Holmes recorded with two drummers. (Holmes co-produced it, and he says that the studio band played sloppily that day, so he used the 16 bars he liked the best and looped them.) There’s watery piano. There’s a processed-to-death guitar lead. There’s a groove that can’t stop tripping over itself. And then there are those vocals.

Holmes isn’t a bad vocalist, exactly. He a classic ’70s singer-songwriter guy, a conversational speak-singer. But man, I do not like what happens when he cranks that voice up and hits the hook on “Escape.” The hook is, to be fair, instantly memorable. But this is not always a good thing. Holmes hits that upper register, and I just wish I was someplace else. I don’t even know how people functioned when this thing was all over the radio.

Holmes managed one more big hit after “Escape (The Piña Colada Song).” “Him,” the single’s follow-up, was another story-song. This time, Holmes sang from the perspective of a guy who figures out that his girlfriend is cheating. “Him” peaked at #6. (It’s a 4.) Holmes kept putting out albums into the ’90s, but none of them hit. He also went back to writing songs for other people. “You Got It All,” a ballad that Holmes wrote for the teenage Tongan-American Minneapolis-based Mormon family band the Jets, peaked at #3 in 1986. (It’s a 6.) Britney Spears, an artist who will eventually appear in this column, covered it on her debut album. Get ready to be incredibly depressed: Holmes wrote the song for his 10-year-old daughter. Before the song took off, she died of an undetected brain tumor.

I don’t know how you bounce back from something like that, but Holmes did. After “Escape (The Piña Colada Song),” Holmes has had more success as a storyteller than as a musician. In 1985, Holmes wrote The Mystery Of Edwin Drood, a Broadway musical based on an unfinished Charles Dickens novel. It won five Tonys, including two for Holmes. Since then, Holmes has written more than a dozen plays, many of them hits. He also created Remember WENN, a drama that ran for three season on AMC in the late ’90s, and he wrote all 56 of its episodes. He’s published a few books, too. The man can write, and the best thing about “Escape” is that you can tell that right away.

But Holmes is a whole lot more famous for “Escape” than for anything else he’s ever done in his life. He’s pretty funny when he talks about it, too. In a 2003 Songfacts interview, Holmes said this:

I have a feeling that if I saved an entire orphanage from a fire and carried the last child out on my shoulders, as I stood there charred and smoking, they’d say, “Aren’t you the guy who wrote ‘The Piña Colada Song?'”

Perhaps Rupert Holmes would like to escape “The Piña Colada Song.” So would I.

Pina Colada Song Wikipedia

BONUS BEATS: Here’s the scene from a 1999 episode of The Simpsons — the same storied episode that predicted the Trump presidency — where the not-aging-well future version of Bart sings a parody of “Escape (The Piña Colada Song)” during his sister’s presidential addresss:

BONUS BONUS BEATS: Here’s the weirdly extremely memorable “Escape (The Piña Colada Song)” needle-drop from the 2001 film Shrek:

BONUS BONUS BONUS BEATS: Here’s Kanye West, noted fan of the aforementioned Shrek scene, quoting “Escape (The Piña Colada Song)” on “White Dress,” a song that he contributed to the soundtrack of the 2012 RZA-directed kung fu movie The Man With The Iron Fists:

(Kanye West will eventually appear in this column.)

BONUS BONUS BONUS BONUS BEATS: Here’s the scene from 2014’s Guardians Of The Galaxy — which, like The Man With The Iron Fists, stars Dave Bautista — where Chris Pratt steals his Walkman back from the space-prison guard who is enjoying “Escape (The Piña Colada Song)”:

BONUS BONUS BONUS BONUS BONUS BEATS: Here’s the great scene from a 2016 Better Call Saul episode where Bob Odenkirk sings a few bars of “Escape (The Piña Colada Song)” and spouts some fake biographical facts about Rupert Holmes: