#turns out i just have autism
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ragefromwithout · 3 months ago
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if your mom never tried to cast demons out of you as a kid, did you really grow up southern baptist?
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saturnsocoolioyep · 1 year ago
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In the same vein as "I've been taking my medication for long enough that I haven't experienced any symptoms in a while, I must not need to take it anymore! (Spoiler alert: the meds are why you haven't had symptoms)" I present to you a similarly clownish thought process- "I haven't experienced that trigger in a long time, maybe I was just exaggerating how bad it was and it'll be fine to engage with this! (Spoiler alert: take a fucking guess babes)"
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kkoct-ik · 5 months ago
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some vaguely on model doodles as i try to work out what is wrong with them (what they look like)
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cluedoenthusiast · 1 year ago
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can't sit still [x]
more of al talking about headphones
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biasomnia · 6 days ago
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My beloved boy’s birthday look at him!! My number 1 son named Yusuke (he is tied with yusuke urameshi).
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mango-sideburns · 2 years ago
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My fav thing about TAZ is that any aspect out of context sounds fucking bonkers.
Like, in the balance finale there's a scene in which Garfield (who is very specifically never described visually bc most people imagine him as like. The Lasagna Cat. Who in this universe is the most powerful warlock in the realm and also has a hobby of cloning people, which is great for the one character that got forced into haunting a mannequin) is summoned by an alien spaceship that runs on the power of friendship so he could beat up some flashing balls. In D&D.
And that was just. Such a normal scene in the narrative. No one blinked an eye. I would like to bow down to Griffins clear unmatched talent for making me feel such big emotions over ridiculous shit like a goddamned umbrella or a regular ass pair of jeans or the idea of a taco recipe.
#taz balance#the adventure zone#taz#i have. so many drafts of this post decontexualizing so many different scenes.#merle killing a room of autism creature looking things by asking them to tell the truth which then summons god#also merle retiring from his retirement to run fantasy margaritaville under the title Earl Merle#magnus the mannequin telling taako and merle to find the baby voidfish bc the big voidfish sung at him real hard bc in the century he#just now remembered (bc hes a mannequin not a human boy)#he gifted an alien jellyfish with dozens of shitty wooden ducks. he forgot that century bc his friend fed the jellyfishs baby a book#the gnome version of Teddy Rucksbin turns out to be the universes most competent spaceship pilot. hes also a talented opera singer#a man named Barry Bluejeans is dead and uses his ghost haunting powers to gift the three heroes badges that they cant see#right before theyre shuttled off in a cannonball to save a space lab full of kitschy elevators thats snowing pink tourmaline#barry also uses his ghost powers to hold hands with magnus and make random shapes in midair like a dresser when theyre trapped in a#fantasy version of The Dating Game hosted by ghost Jesse and James Rocket who steal bodyparts if you lose their game.#or like in campaign how a dude who wiped out in the first three seconds of ninja warrior convinces a human wifi router#who owns a bible theme park to take the apparent King of America to the white house on their hovercraft to be trued for treason#after he announced his intent to take over the country in a televised debate with an inuit goddess who is sometimes trapped in the body#of an HR worker all Donald Blake/Thor style#anyways. this show is ridiculous and i love it So Much
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some-teeth-in-a-trench-coat · 6 months ago
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hey uh I've only used airbnb twice because I don't live in America but I'm seeing posts about how hotels are better in every way and while I can't speak to the accuracy of most arguments I'd like to point out the nuance that for people like me having access to a kitchen (something hotels basically never give) is absolutely a requirement if I'm staying more than like one night. The vast majority of food served in hotels and restaurants I can't eat and chances are I won't be able to check in advance if I'm going to run into enough exceptions to not make myself sick (twice I've gotten sick traveling because I wasn't able to find enough foods and spent a week eating like two ingredients, due to unforeseen complications). I need a kitchen or I can't risk going. Kitchenless hotel rooms are an accessibility issue.
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loverpupz · 1 month ago
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meeting with your fam for christmas so crazy cuz ure just reminded where u got ur autism genes from
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moomeecore · 3 months ago
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im actually really good at admitting when i dont know things its just that people keep talking to me about things that i know a lot about and am objectively correct on
#this is a cartoony exaduration of a very real sentiment#whoch is that im often told that i come off like i 'need to be right about everything'#but i have achived a place in my life where i recognize when i dont have all the info or perspective nessesary need to Listen#and that i dont have to have a strong opinon abt everything#and that admitting that i lack knowledge or opinion rather than masking that with false confidence is better in the long run#bc it dosent put you on defense - makes you more receptive to new information + perspectives + corrections#its just that people will try to tell me their opinions about lawn mowers and im not going to pretend like i dont know more than them#when i do. which happens to be all the time#never met a person whos done as much reaserch on lawns + lawn care industry and related issues such as sore machines#(small off road engines)#i know theyre out there but the chances of me finding them is small and i have yet to do so#and then people try and give me their opinions abt this subject and if THEY dont shut up and listen i go rabid#like i know when its my turn to shut up and listen but sometimes im right and OTHER people need to be shutting up and listening#but also even outside of that i tend to come off as harsh/agressive/judgmental even when relaying info that im not obsessive abt like lawns#its the autism. i just word things blunt and talk with flat affect and dont know how to soften the blow well when correcting people#or even just adding my own perspective + ideas to convo without intent of 'correcting' anyone#such is life i suppose#just so long as nobody tries to tell me lawns are ethical ill be fine#<- remembers when i made a post that accidently got attention abt this subject and melted down#bc the strangers on the internet dont understand that this is my WHOLE THINF#if you knew me in real life youd understand. its my passion#text#im putting this is the lawn tag actually#lawn posting
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scificrows · 2 years ago
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Is there a 300 page essay about Murderbot's armor (specifically the opaque helmet) as a not-so-subtle metaphor for masking in a clearly neurodivergent character already? Because I need it.
The way Murderbot is unvoluntarily without its opaque armor in All System Red in front of the crew (i.e. unmasking) and appears surprised at its own strong facial expressions and other people's reaction to it? The vulnerability that comes with that and how Murderbot spends pretty much the rest of the book wearing or actively missing its armor which keeps it safe from the mortifying ordeal of being known (yet sometimes other characters suggest it might help for it to not opacify the helmet in order for others to see it as a person and to trust it (and in the end idk if it would have achieved the rewards of being loved by its humans and have had its needs met if it hadn't unmasked in this relatively safe environment sometimes)).
Also there's the whole avoiding-looking-directly-at-people-and-using-drones-instead thing which Murderbot usually hides using the opaque helmet, but whenever it doesn't have that people notice it and many react negatively/confused. I think that's a whole neurodivergent-applicable situation in and of itself? Like damn
And then Mensah encourages Murderbot not to wear armor on Preservation station since it would not need it there, Murderbot is hesitant but ends up not wearing any (like 4 books later when we finally get to that bridge) (going for the comfortable clothes it chose for itself instead, with very strong feelings about the whole being able to make choices thing that I cannot go into further at this point because I would absolutely end up BITING SOMETHING OR SOMEONE).
And I'm not going to advocate for unmasking all the time in any setting because hell no, sometimes it absolutely sucks and people are irritated by Murderbot's now visible quirks and are afraid of what they don't know, but many GET TO KNOW Murderbot better and because there are other people that make sure Murderbot is safe and respected and are willing to get people fired for it if they disrespect it (Pin-Lee my beloved) Murderbot can experiment with this situation without being exiled to some abonded part of a planet and other people are forced to spend enough time around ot to learn to respect it and even like it. I just....... It must be so scary and Murderbot is handling so much at once and in this essay I will
PS sorry this is a disorganized mess but so am I and I have so many Thoughts and even more Emotions and so little patience.
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a-concert-just-for-me · 4 months ago
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QB ADHD test is crazy for autists bc tell me why you’re gonna strap this super uncomfortable headband to my head and also have the lights bright in the room bright af and then have the laptop flash images at me too
Like????????
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wisecrackingeric-2 · 8 months ago
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Can I be mega autistic here and vent for a second and ask if anyone else is lowkey scared for whatever the next RE game is HSBWHDNDJ
#having hyperfixations/special interests combined with a PARALYSING fear of change SUUUUUCKSSS MAAAAANN. IT SUCKS ASS#like realistically I KNOW it’s silly and I KNOW I’ve got nothing to stress over BUT ITS STRESSING ME OUT BAD AND THERES NOTHING I CAN DO#RE4R/Luis has been SUCH a massive comfort of mine and turned into a full blown special interest and I guess the thing I’m most scared of is#the fandom moving on and forgetting abt re4r/luis as a whole which again I KNOW is silly but I can’t control my brain!!!!#and also combined with the fact that Luis probably isn’t coming back to the franchise at least anytime soon is HEARTBREAKING man. like thats#my special interest!! that’s the thing I’ve poured hours of my time into!!!!! I’m scared to see people move on#he’s already a fairly unpopular character in the wider fandom too!! and the fact that the content we do have of him is ALL we’re gonna have?#I dunno that makes me so much more stressed out and anxious than I should be which. again. I KNOOOOOOWW IS SILLY BUT I CANT HELP IT MAN#THE AUTISM!! THE AUTISMMMMM#I dunno I’m expecting Capcom to announce their next game this summer fest and it’s genuinely stressing me out sm which I hate#I hate being so afraid of change it sucks so much man#anyways sorry for the massive vent I just had to get this off my chest cuz it’s been weighing me down massively and making me more anxious#than it has any right to BCNDNENDJXJ#and again the fact that there’s a solid chance we may never see him again at lest not anytime soon is so so so so so devastating to me it#again makes me so much more upset than it has any right to HDNSHENDJDJ#not to mention people who are already weirdly mean and nasty to people who DO like him. I’m Not having a Time rn
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ahaunteddreamer · 2 hours ago
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did Kevin have to unlearn all this on his own? like
or does he still play like this as a fox and it's just specifically because the trojans are committed to good sportsmanship?
what's the go?
the way I need kevin pov like it's actually so serious to me that I know him inside out and back to front, tell me everything
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conanssummerchild · 10 months ago
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me and my dad are like abed and jeff in the way that jeff always gets abeds references, theyre two characters that mirror eachother, they understand and relate to eachother in a way thats different from other characters relationships, but also in the way jeff fantasises about strangling abed, "you try to get him to do something normal without abusing him!", "youre a robot, abed". and still jeff goes in for two hugs before abed leaves.
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steakout-05 · 1 month ago
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i think all those autism vlogging youtube channels that post distressing videos of their children having meltdowns and intense panic attacks for thousands and thousands of people to see should be deleted and banned off the website and i am not kidding. i don't care what excuse they use whether it's "oh no it's for education purposes! so clearly posting our kids in state of extreme emotional and mental distress is okay 😊" or some other excuse, it's not okay to post your kids in what can be a very vulnerable and embarrassing state to be in for the whole internet to see. don't even come at me with that "they asked for the videos to be posted!" rubbish kids cannot consent to that no matter how intelligent or informed they are about the consequences of those videos going online. children cannot and should not consent to those videos going up and it pisses me off that the blatant exploitation of children and disabled people is still normalised and excused like this. cause that's what it is. it's exploitative of the vulnerable no matter how much it swears it's trying to be educational. 99% of the time the only reason these kinds of videos are online is to get clicks and views and money and it's disgusting.
#they are literally the exploitative family vlogging channels of the autistic community i hate them i hate them#yes this is specifically about the autism family channel#i legit hate that fuckin channel so so so so much#WHY are you posting your children having meltdowns and panic attacks and making their crying faces the fucking thumbnails#don't you fuckin tell me it's for education purposes. you KNOW what you're doing with those titles and thumbnails.#you're looking for people to click because ohhh look it's a disabled person!! and they're in extreme distress!!! how controversial!!!#also another thing that pisses me off is that this often never happens to neurotypical people#(which it shouldn't anyway but that's not the point)#but if people were going around recording their neurotypical kids crying people would be more upset about it#they would go ''hey that's not fucking ok to post your kids crying on youtube don't do that''. as they should#but the MOMENT it's an autistic child and the channel owner makes the typical ''its for education'' excuse#people are suddenly like ''omg i feel so bad for your and your kids thank you for posting this '' yadda yadda yadda#it's the same exact shit as the former it just has a different coat of paint#i refuse to believe anyone who willingly posts their kids in a highly distressed state that should be kept PRIVATE#to the whole fucking internet actually cares about educating people#we have seen this time and time again where kids in emotional distress were posted online#and the people posting them turned out to be exploiting their children for money and clicks#i genuinely believe this is the same exact situation happening here#if you need to film your kids crying for education so badly that should only be kept between you and a medical professional.#not posted on the damn internet while you zoom in on your child's distressed face in the thumbnail.#autistic people are not fucking zoo animals stop treating us like them#autism#autistic#ableism#disability#disability rights#it must be made illegal to post disabled people in states of distress and the consequence is an incredibly hefty fine#and the money goes to the disabled person who was illegally posted online
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autisticlee · 7 months ago
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sometimes people who struggle like to make jokes or find positives about their condition that causes them to struggle so they can escape the constant negative and struggle. sometimes autistic people will say things like "the 'tism" or use the "autism creature" or say their autism helped them have a *positive trait* to feel better about their struggles. because living your life only focusing on the struggles and negatives is depressing and makes it hard to want to live, even if those struggle take up 100% of your life and you can't actually escape them. sometimes any little seemingly positive thing can help a lot.
but there's so many other autistic people that hate when we do that and call it "reducing autism to a cute trendy thing" and say it takes away from *their* struggles and is bad and shouldn't be used. maybe *you* want to only focus on your struggles, but some people can't live in constant negative and need some positive or to find ways to make their condition more positive so they can feel better about living with their struggles. life is hard. I take anything I can get.
I cant get jobs. I can't make and keep friends. I can't get help and support for doing "normal" things so sometimes I go weeks without being able to shower and without eating more than a bowl of cereal a day. most times can't even do things I like. struggle to communicate. have meltdowns. i'll never be able to live independently. I struggle a lot. but instead of sitting here always depressed and having no motivation to live, i'd rather try to joke about "my 'tism is acting up again" when i'm struggling (just an example. don't think I ever actually used the 'tism thing but i saw others use it) or say "i'm just being a creature" when I need to stay in my dark room because everything is too much and I personally find it cute to be a little creature meant in a positive way. i'm not actually downplaying mine or anyone else's struggles. I still acknowledge them and that silly jokes dont make them go away. i'm not trying to be trendy. i'm not doing any of the things people say we do by making silly little jokes. i'm using the silly little jokes to convince myself life can be a little more than pointless, painful garbage all the time.
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#dont know why continuing in tags but here is more#sometimes we need to ask “why” and not just get mad about how we feel personally. because other people feel differently#yes im guilty of only thinking my feelings and situation and how it relates too and forgetting other peoples. i also need to learn#and everyone's feelings should be valid. just because something might “hurt” you it might be important for someone else#everyones feelings are valid. but we cant protect everyones feeling. so idk the solution#but stopping someone from having a small positive among a sea of nevgative seems a little mean to me#youre not being empathetic to their side. and i can turn it around and be not empathetic to your side and say stop being upset#and get over it and let people have fun. but i wont. i hear you. but at the same time maybe hear us too.#not everyone wants to live only negatively. youre allowed to but dont expect others to.#and yes i GET IT these things can make the allistics and neurotypicals be even worse towards us. but what do we do?#throw out any positivity we can find and grovel in our struggles because the allistics wont take us seriously?#DO THEY TAKE US SERIOUSLY WITHOUT THOSE SILLY TRENDY THINGS? NO! THEY NEVER HAVE#like i said i dont know the solution and everything still be used against us by those people anyway so might as well have fun?#if we focus on struggles they baby us and dont let us do things and block us from living life#if we focus on positive they dismiss our struggles and try to make us do what we cant and dont help us#we cant win! so its not “the 'tism” or whatever other things people made up that cause them to act this way#they already act that way and wont stop unless we figure out how to teach them! but i dont know how! im just a useless little creature#this is probably controversial and someone will get because i dont agree with their perspective despite respecting it#someome will comment to lecture me even though i get it. i do. but two things can exist at the same time!! idk what to tell you!#autistic#autism#actually autistic#lee rambles#words are hard so dont know if i worded it well or not. probably not#also why take away fun things because another group used it for bad? make them stop the bad not stop the good!#i also might be missing more context. i think is about tiktok using these for bad. tiktok is just bad in general and i refuse to use it#why tiktok dictate and ruin our lives now in general? tiktok is really bad 😂 but that another conversation#no one yell at me and say i dismiss struggles of struggling autistics. maybe you dismiss me needing negative thing to have positive?#not in mood for negative response. will probably cry fhhddhsjdjdjkd#today is real struggle day but if i be little creature i feel better
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