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the pine guard! 🌲
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[ID: art of Lup and Barry from The Adventure Zone. Lup is sitting in Barry's lap, playing on a Nintendo DS with a focused expression, while Barry wraps his arms around her and watches over her shoulder with a smile. Lup is a slender elf with freckled brown skin, and wavy blue hair with an undercut. She wears a tank top and a Poké Ball themed necklace. Barry's a fat human with pale skin and curly light brown hair, wearing a pink shirt and a Pikachu hat. The whole image has a soft pink hue. End ID.]
@blupjeansweek Day 3: Modern
gotta catch em all
#op please consider editing this id into the original for accessibility! no credit needed; your own edits welcome#oh this is the cutest#taz#taz balance#taz balance spoilers#blupjeans#lup taaco#barry bluejeans#masqueuerade
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Griffin: Human man is having a— it sounds like a heated argument—
Travis: With the voidfish?
Griffin: —with Johann. With Johann actually.
Taako: Huh.
Griffin: The uh, this guy is saying,
Human Man (Lucas): We don’t know anything about this, we don’t know anything about this creature and we’re putting all of our faith into it?!
#k#the adventure zone#taz#taz: balance#johann the bard#Got to draw Johann again! (:#his design is very fun to draw#and the voidfish!! I hadn't gotten to draw it until this!#very fun#lucas miller#inkventure only#fan art#the voidfish#ep 28
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my dealer: got some straight gas 🔥😋this strain is called "dentonic" itll have you zonked out of your gourd💯
me (famous vlogger): yeah whatever. i dont feel shit
5 hours later: dude i swear ive had to build up an entire personality and fake presence for the sake of a giant corporation just so they can save face
my best friend nanofather pacing around the room: hwere is shookles
#i was told to post this one#taz#taz steeplechase#the adventure zone#krystal with a k#taz chrystal#the nanofather#raccoon speaks#it's funny to think abt where chrystal mightve been when she got replaced like. was she just in the Void???
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So I wanted to draw a lil' something in celebration of The Adventure Zone hitting ten years old this year! Which turned into me drawing a pretty big something featuring (almost) every player character from (almost) every campaign from these past ten years.
So here's to Adventure Zone Balance, Amnesty, Commitment, Dust, Graduation, Hootenanny, Ethersea, Dadlands, Steeplechase, Versus Dracula, and everything that's still to come!
#moose doodles#taz#the adventure zone#the zone cast#taz balance#taz amnesty#taz commitment#taz dust#taz graduation#taz hootenanny#taz ethersea#taz dadlands#taz steeplechase#taz vs dracula#i'm not going to tag all 35 characters here let's be reasonable
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amnesiac barry bluejeans is still one of the most existentially fucked up characters of all time to me. you wake up with a gaping hole in your memories, naked in a tank in a cave that screams "dark magic and horrific experiments." your own voice tells you you've lost more than you can imagine, and you sound like you know what you're talking about. you run away from that place, knowing you're on a death mission. wishing you didn't have to wonder what happened to you — how some nobody like you got caught up in something so terrifying and incomprehensible, something so much bigger than you.
and then, you die. and you realize it's the other way around. you are the terrifying, incomprehensible thing that the fate of the world has been caught in. and you've just failed. again.
#taz#taz balance#taz balance spoilers#barry bluejeans#everything is wrong with him!!!#“i would feel guilty being a citizen in a world that i... poisoned”#and then it all got worse and worse and worse from there!!
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[ID: a blue ink drawing of Lup from The Adventure Zone. She's a slender elf with dark skin and long, curly hair, wearing an open-backed dress and playing her violin with passion. Her hair and skirt flutter in the wind, and she faces away from the viewer. The background depicts the sheet music. End ID.]

so I'm still on that salut d'amour bullshit so....
#op please consider editing this id into the original for accessibility! no credit needed; your own edits welcome#aaah gorgeous!!#taz#taz balance#taz balance spoilers#lup taaco#masqueuerade
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the problem with taz balance is you first listen to it as a naive high schooler like "oh, funny dnd podcast made by those mcelroy guys i see in tumblr memes all the time! and they apparently have gay characters too! let me check this out! haha his name is taco that's so random XD" and nobody could have warned you that a decade later you'll still periodically think about lucretia and her martyr complex and be stricken with the urge to start gnawing your own limbs off
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people on reddit have no media literacy
#sorry just looking at the taz subreddit and seeing absolute toddler-level takes on this shit it’s infuriating#it’s crazy how you can see completely normal takes like ‘i thought so-and-so line wasn’t as good as most other fans think it is’#right next to insane comments about how the mcelroys suck at storytelling because balance has tone shifts in it or whatever#and complaints about railroading in the stolen century when justin literally went on ttazz and talked about how if they didn’t want to#do something griffin wanted them to do they just wouldn’t and they never really thought of railroading as an issue they faced#right next to people saying taako wasn’t a good character and well this i took personally but narratively he’s a fucking incredible#character. his story arc is so good. please learn to analyze a character beyond the exact words they say. please. i’m begging you.#ALSO. this pisses me off. none of you people are privy to what the mcelroys talk about when they’re not recording. if they had issues with#how their campaigns were being run do you not think they’d say something. to their literal family. they’re full adults. please be for real#WHATEVER. i don’t even care.#taz#remy's ramblings
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The twins
#finishing up my 2025 relisten :’)#the adventure zone#taz#taako#taz balance#lup#my art#lup is rengoku-pilled to me#imo Taako has always been bumming it in goofy fantasy clothes and all that talk of high fashion is ironic#let me preach my gospel
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Now With Lup's POV!
She’s no stranger to blood and gore and corpses. Not even those of her loved ones. But she stares down at her motionless daughter, with open wounds in her blood-stained neck, her eyes glassy and empty, blood coating her lips and trickling out the side of her mouth, and Lup’s whole body goes cold.
Sometimes you just have to crank out 3000 words in a day because it's been too long since you've written anything.
Read it on AO3
Lilliana Bluejeans is missing. Her soul disappeared from Faerun, and despite trying every magical and mundane trick in the book, no one could find her. It’s been a year since then, and that luck is about to change.
An au of an au of an au
~
It’s almost a year to the day when the contraption in Lup and Barry’s basement finally pings with Lilliana’s location. Kravitz is just setting the table for dinner when Taako gets the call. They haphazardly throw their half-prepared dinner in the fridge and run across the lawn to the house next door.
“Where is she?” Taako peers over Barry’s shoulder as he scrolls through data on a screen.
“I’m not a hundred percent sure,” he says. “The reading is very, very similar to one of the cycles, with just a few data points difference on the end.”
“Which means?” Kravitz asks. Try as he might, he’s never gotten a grasp on planar magic.
“Which means it could be a reality that’s basically the same as whatever cycle this was, with a few small differences–”
“Or it could be totally different and we won’t know until we get there,” Lup says, flipping through a notebook. “But assuming it’s the saaaameee…” she trails off, turning a few more pages, “there!” She hands the notebook to Taako, “lucky number 93.”
He whistles. “Yeah, I’d say that’s pretty damn similar.”
All Kravitz sees on the page is a long string of numbers and symbols, and a short description of the reality they supposedly denote. “What’s lucky about it?”
“It was the year after we all learned artificing,” Lup says. “We came up with the relic plan and were hoping we could end it then and there.”
“But we didn’t find the light before the scouts showed up, so it was a no-go,” Taako says.
“We did still find it, though. The world itself was fine when we left.”
“Guys?” Barry interrupts. He’s clicking around on the computer screen. “We better go. The signal’s getting weaker.”
“What?” Lup whips around and leans over him to look at the screen.
“I don’t know,” small indicators light up on the plane hopping belts connected to the system, “but we need to go before we lose it.”
They strap the belts on and in an instant are standing in the midst of a strange wilderness. Thick trees wrapped in vines tower higher than Kravitz has ever seen before, their canopy shading them from a sun just beginning to set.
“It looks like 93,” Taako says.
“Where’s Lilli?” Kravitz asks. All he can see is vegetation.
“I lost her exact location when the signal got shoddy, but she should be nearby,” Barry says.
They head off in pairs. Lup and Taako go one way, and him and Barry go the opposite. As they walk, Kravitz notices some broken branches hanging from the trees, vines torn off the trunks, and general carnage that doesn’t go with the landscape around them. Barry doesn’t seem to notice. He’s nervously clenching and unclenching his hands, and taking a lot of slow breaths. “So,” Kravitz says, attempting casual, “was there much for civilization when you were here?”
“Not really.” He scans the trees ahead of them, craning his neck to see further into the woods. “A few small towns here and there, but nothing like Faerun.”
“I think you guys got lucky with Faerun. Not only was it populated, but it had magic just like yours.”
He looks over at him. “Can you sense her?”
“Lilli?”
“Who fucking else, Kravitz?”
“Right. Obviously. Sorry.” He’s also nervous, which makes him ask dumb questions. He takes a breath and closes his eyes. He focuses all his senses on reaching out for his niece’s soul. Usually he can find her in an instant and know exactly where she is. Here… she seems to evade him. He opens his eyes. “I can, just barely, but I can’t tell where she is.”
Barry sighs and keeps walking, drumming fingers against his legs. “I don’t like this.”
“None of us have used our reaper powers in a different reality before, maybe the magic is interacting weird.”
“Maybe…”
They continue on, keeping their eyes and ears peeled. Barry calls out for her a few times, but no dice. For a while, there’s nothing but the sound of their own footsteps to keep them company. Then, in the distance, they hear loud, jovial voices. They pick up the pace, hoping whoever’s there has seen their precious Lilliana. They come to a small clearing and burst out of the trees without thinking. They stop in their tracks, coming face to face with a silver ship and seven people clad in red.
Barry exhales shakily and takes a step back, “what the fuck?”
The seven members of the IPRE look equally as surprised but not as distressed as Barry. Magnus, younger than Kravitz ever knew him, breaks the ice, “holy shit!”
“That’s fucked up,” Lucretia deadpans. It’s even weirder seeing her so young, even though he knows, logically, that she was younger than Magnus at one point.
“I take it you’re here about your daughter,” Davenport says.
Kravitz’s eyes widen and he looks to Barry. His face sinks into a frown. “What do you know about my daughter?” Captain Davenport shrugs and Barry’s hands curl into fists. “Where is she?”
He crosses his arms. “I wouldn’t know. She tends to avoid us.”
“For good reason,” Merle mutters loudly. Davenport turns to glare at him and Lup shushes him.
“What did you do?” Barry’s demeanor has settled into cold displeasure and he’s on his way to anger. He knows what this crew was like during their voyage, and Kravitz almost doesn’t want to know what he thinks they’ve done.
“Nothing!” Lup defends. “We just– we ran into her sometimes.”
“Lup,” the other Barry says exasperatedly. “Come on.”
“We found her by accident,” Lucretia says, coming forward. “A few dozen cycles back, she died near the ship and we found her. We thought she was someone from that world, but when we went through her stuff, we discovered who she really was.”
Kravitz can feel Barry trembling ever so slightly at his side. Through clenched teeth he says, “and then?”
“Well… being from the future, she had to know how to defeat the Hunger. We tracked her down on the next cycle and asked her to tell us. She refused. Then…” she hesitates and sighs, “we decided that we would keep trying. So it became a bit of a Wile E. Coyote and Roadrunner situation. She avoided us at all costs.”
“But!” Lup steps in front of Lucretia, “with all our perseverance, we did eventually get our answers and,” she spreads her arms out, “it’s over! And it’s over early! No more Hunger, no more realities getting pillaged and absorbed, no one getting hurt anymore, and none of the ‘dark and hard and scary’ stuff that Lilliana said we’d have to go through later on!”
Kravitz can see the lecture rolling around in Barry’s brain. He opens his mouth to give the IPRE a piece of his mind but is cut off by an agonizing wail deeper in the woods, back the direction they came. He turns sharply and whispers, “Lup.” He takes off into the trees with Kravitz at his heels. He can hear the IPRE following behind them, but Kravitz can’t think about that right now. Whatever made Lup scream like that is far more important.
They enter another clearing, much larger than the one the Starblaster had been parked in. On the far side, they can see Lup’s back as she kneels next to Lilliana, who’s flat on the ground. Lup’s hunched over with her hands over her mouth. Taako’s next to her with a hand on her back and Lilli’s bow at his side. “No,” Barry says to himself, picking up his speed, “no no no no no.” He goes around the other side of Lilliana and kneels. Kravitz brings up the rear, slowing to a stop and standing at her feet. His chest constricts as he looks down at her.
She’s dead, and it’s not pretty.
There are large, open puncture wounds and fresh blood coating her neck. Her red cloak, made from an old IPRE robe, is fanned out underneath her in a cruel mockery of the pool of blood soaking into the dirt. There’s some blood on her lips and trickling out the corners of her mouth. Kravitz has seen a slit throat or two in his time, he knows she was choking and gagging, trying desperately to breathe and keep herself alive, only for her own blood to get in her way. Her eyes are open, staring blankly at the clear sky above where there’s not a speck of Hunger to be found.
“We have to bring her back,” Lup says, looking across Lilli’s body at Barry. He nods, his eyes glistening, and summons a black leather-bound book from nowhere. In any other circumstance, Kravitz would question why he felt the need to carry it with him.
He flips through it, then runs his hand down one of the pages and nods. He stands. “You should go find her soul,” he says to Lup. “She’s not from this world, and I don’t know how many times she’s died before this. I don’t want her to get lost.” Her and Taako’s heads jerk up, but before she can question him about her daughter dying more than once, he juts his chin towards the other end of the clearing. They turn and see the other IPRE lurking just beyond the treeline.
Lup gasps, and looks back to Barry. He nods solemnly. “Oh, my baby,” she says. She caresses Lilli’s face and kisses her forehead, “my baby girl, I’m so sorry.”
“We’ll fix it,” Taako says, squeezing her arm. “Go find her.”
She stands and takes Barry’s hand for a moment as he passes her, heading for the middle of the clearing. Then she summons her scythe, tears open a rift, and disappears. Barry draws his wand and starts burning what Kravitz can only assume will be a ritual circle into the hard packed dirt. He can see the IPRE whispering to each other back in the trees.
Cycle 93. They were so fucking close.
“Krav.” He looks to Taako, still kneeling next to Lilliana. He nods to the space across from him, “help me get her accessories off.” He kneels as Taako undoes the fastener on her cloak. “Lift her up.”
She’s still warm as Kravitz slides a hand under her neck and cradles the back of her head. He puts his other hand on her chest and angles her up gently, just enough for Taako to remove her cloak completely and lift the strap of her bag of holding over her head and off her shoulder. Her braid is soaked red with her blood. Taako casts prestidigitation to clean it all up, and Kravitz lays her back down. They remove her quiver from her hip, her leather archery glove, and the leather bracer she wears on her other arm. Taako carefully places all her belongings in her bag. Kravitz closes her eyes and crosses her hands over her stomach. If it weren’t for the gaping holes in her neck, she could be sleeping.
Taako stands and swings the strap of her bag over his head. “I’m gonna see if Barry needs any help. You stay here–”
A tearing sound right next to his ear makes him jump, and Lup comes marching out of her rift. She ignores them and beelines for the IPRE across the clearing. She grabs the alternate version of herself and throws her to the ground. The parts of her clothes that were touched are singed black. She scrambles to her feet and takes a step back, “what the fuck is wrong with you?”
Smoke curls out of Lup’s closed fists and her eyes burn with fury as she advances on herself. “My daughter just screamed at me to go away and leave her alone. She ran away from me. My daughter does not run away from me.” She grabs her again and gets in her face. “What did you do?”
The other Lup shoves her off and pats out the small embers that had caught on her robe. “Nothing you wouldn’t have done. We’re literally the same person. I wanted to minimize as much suffering as I could.”
“I haven’t been you in a long time. I don’t give a damn about what you were trying to do.” Lup points back towards where Lilli’s body lies, “that little girl is my first priority.”
Other Lup crosses her arms. “She’s an adult.”
“She’s mine.”
Other Lup looks away from her and doesn’t offer a response.
Lup brushes past her, bumping her shoulder aggressively, and walks back over to them. “You have to go get her, Kravitz.”
He stands. “She’s nearby?”
“She was. She ran off when I got too close, but if anyone can find her, it’s you.”
He puts a hand on her shoulder. “The dead don’t always have all their faculties. She’ll recognize you when she’s back.”
“Just go. I don’t want her to wander off too far.”
He summons his scythe, tearing a rift with centuries of ease. He steps through it into a copy of this world painted in greyscale. He reaches his senses out for Lilli again, and this time it’s stronger. He heads off in the direction it leads him. He only has to walk for a short time before he sees a faint white glow in the distance. He approaches carefully, and there she is, wandering aimlessly through the trees. She’s all white, dressed how she was when she died. Every now and again the edges of her form flicker and blur, the sign of a soul that’s been through a lot.
“Lilliana?” She startles when he speaks, and she’s tense as she turns to face him. Her eyes are all white. He holds his hands up placatingly. “It’s all right, I’m not going to hurt you.”
Her shoulders relax, and she stares at him. “Kravvy?”
He smiles. “Yeah, Lilli. It’s me, Kravitz.”
“I think I’m lost.”
“That’s okay,” he takes a tentative step towards her, “that’s why I’m here. I’m taking you home.”
“You know how to get home?”
“I do. Mama and Daddy and Uncle Taako are all waiting for you, just through the woods a little ways.” He holds out his hand, “I’ll show you.”
She looks at his hand, then up at him. She takes it and smiles softly. “Okay, Kravvy.” Her form shimmers and coalesces into a ball of light. He brings her in close and cradles her against his chest as he retraces his steps through this in-between plane. Back where he started, he tears a rift into the Prime Material and returns to the real world with his niece’s soul in hand.
Lilli’s body has already been placed in the center of the ritual circle, outlined with runes and the dust of various gemstones. Barry stands outside the circle at her head, Lup at her feet, and Taako stands ninety degrees between both of them. Kravitz takes his place across from him.
Barry takes a deep breath, “okay.” He begins reading an incantation. The runes drawn around her begin to glow, and Kravitz holds out his hands, allowing her soul to float away. It stops and hovers over her body for a few seconds, then sinks down and disappears into her chest. Barry’s incantation continues for several lines, allowing Lilli’s wounds to vanish, then stops. The glowing dims and disappears, and they all wait with bated breath. She lays there unmoving, and Kravitz worries for a half second that Barry Bluejeans, best necromancer this side of reality, fucked up his daughter’s resurrection.
Then she inhales sharply, and her eyes fly open. She takes quick, short, panicked breaths. He steps into the circle and takes a knee next to her, putting a hand on her shoulder. “Deep breaths, Lilli. You’re okay.”
Her eyes dart over to him. “Kravitz,” she breathes. “You’re real.”
He takes her hand and holds on tight. “Real as ever.”
“I’m alive.”
“You are. Do you think you can sit up?” She nods, and he helps her up. She freezes when she sees Lup ahead of her. “Hey,” he says softly, she doesn’t look at him. “You’re safe. Look closer.”
Her eyes roam over the woman in front of her. “Mom?” Lup’s breath stutters and her eyes glisten, but she smiles. Lilli reaches for her, tears welling in her eyes, “Mama.” He steps back to let her in, and she falls to her knees, wrapping Lilli up in her arms. “Mama,” she cries. “Mama, I’m sorry. I tried so hard. I’m so sorry.”
Lup caresses the back of her hair. “I know, honey. It’s okay. This never should have happened. It’s not your fault.”
Barry abandons his book and drops to his knees next to his family. He wraps both of them up in his arms, silent tears rolling down his face. Lilliana sobs in their embrace, overwhelmed by finally being freed from what Kravitz can only imagine was decades of crippling loneliness.
Taako picks up the necromancy book and puts it in Lilli’s bag. He smiles at him, then walks over to the still-lurking IPRE. He claps his hands together and says in his best Sizzle It Up! voice, “all right, folks! Show’s over! You can get back to whatever sad lives you’re planning to build on this lame planet.” The other Lup rolls her eyes and Taako narrows his. “Got something you want to say, Lulu?”
“Just because we beat the Hunger sooner than you doesn’t mean our lives will suck.”
“Maybe not.”
“And all of this,” she gestures to the ritual circle and family behind Taako, “just proves my point. The second we destroyed the Hunger, you guys showed up. If she had just told us that all it’d take was a shield and didn’t make us spend 40 years and a ton of magic dragging it out of her, then maybe we could’ve learned artificing earlier, and we all could’ve been done with it ages ago.”
“You learned artificing last cycle.” Taako’s tone is level. Too level. Something’s been put together in his head and he doesn’t like it.
“We did.”
“So you knew you were ending it this cycle.”
“We found the Light, we had the staff, Lucretia had the spell. Why wouldn’t we?”
He gives a one-syllable laugh. “Of course. Why wouldn’t you? You have all the pieces.” The other Lup nods, Kravitz waits for the other shoe to drop. “So why, on Pan’s green fucking Earth, wouldn’t you give the kid a fucking heads up, so she knows not to fucking die?!”
There it is.
The other Lup balks. “She runs away from us! It’s not like we could’ve talked to her about it!”
“Message! Sending! Carrier pigeon! Half of you are wizards, you should be able to figure this shit out!”
She throws her hands in the air. “What do you want from me, Taako? Why should our crew have to suffer as long as you did, for the same ending?”
He laughs. “Oh, you’re not getting the same ending out of this, Lulu.”
Lilli, now standing, comes to Taako’s side and takes his hand. “Don’t bother, Koko. I told them over and over again to forget about me and figure it out themselves. I told them that if they just stuck it out that they’d go through some shit, but they’d find so much happiness at the end of it all. I even told them that all the planes that got consumed would be fine. She doesn’t care.”
Taako purses his lips, scanning over the crew in front of him. He lands on Lucretia. “You know, I’m not a huge fan of some of the actions taken by certain people in my reality. But even I have to admit that those actions brought way more people into our lives than we would’ve had otherwise.”
“Like Kravvy,” Lilli says, resting her head on his shoulder.
Taako snorts. “He’s one of the few that we would’ve met anyway.”
“Who is he?” Other Taako asks, speaking for the first time.
“I guess you’ll never know,” Lilli says.
Taako puts his arm around her and steers them back towards Lup and Barry. “C’mon peanut, let’s get you home.”
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some more assorted taz b doodles from my relisten
#taz#the adventure zone#taz balance#mcelroys#angus mcdonald#istus#sloane#taako#merle highchurch#magnus burnsides#lucretia#lup#thezonecast#my art
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business meetings at the chug n squeeze
tip jar
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good ol barold the loverrrrrrrr
#taz#the adventure zone#taz balance#barry bluejeans#old doodles but taz on da mind w the recent gn#orig
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ID: An edited screenshot of a tweet. johann the bard, @bestviolinistever, tweets: My boss told me the Relics keep eating her Reclaimers so I asked how many guys she has and she said she just goes to the surface and gets a new guy afterwards so I said it sounds like she's just feeding random guys to the Relics and then her gnome started crying. End ID.
mfw no relics after nearly a year of the BOB operating
join johann appreciation week you might find more of my weird johann&lucretia BOB fics/posts in the near future
#sorry for the sloppy less elaborate johann week post im kinda going thru it#taz#taz balance#the adventure zone#taz johann#taz lucretia#johann appreciation week
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