nik4yla

[nik4yla]

relax? go with the flow? honey i evaluate every situation like a fucking philosopher on my head. i’ve considered every point of view possible that i’m starting to view it in another dimension. plato wouldn’t be able to keep up with the amount of questions and hypotheticals i have for myself. the statistic about toddlers asking 300 questions a day? thats nothing compared to what the voice in my head and i get up to. we smash that number out of park, nay the country, and halfway out of the atmosphere. there is no flow. only meticulously planned and thought over situations where the water flows exactly the way i want to because ive thought about every way that it possibly can.

[nik4yla]

top 3 things ever:

1. scrolling on reels while taking a shit

2.

that’s it that’s the list

[nik4yla]

seeing a sign like a black cat or angel numbers and tilting my head up to the universe and going ‘what is it girl, watchu tryna tell me’ like a cowboy to his horse

[nik4yla]

did you seriously just let it linger

[nik4yla]

is my life falling apart or am i just getting my period

[nik4yla]

call me the mad hatter the way i clocked your tea

[nik4yla]

men’s behaviour makes me want to screech from the top of a bell tower and then turn into a hideous winged creature and turn the nearest town to ruin

[nik4yla]

feeling a bit lost in life right now, gonna make a list of careers i want to have and places i want to live, throw a dart at the two lists and do whatever it lands on. which me luck!

[nik4yla]

‘if you broke it you’d probably be screaming right now’ how about a fly kick you in the face

[nik4yla]

the joe rogan podcast is so weird, tell me why one clip i see is a world renowned scientist explaining some of the most complex theories i’ve ever heard of and then the next is him and his buddies cooked off their fucking head and talking about nothing

[nik4yla]

Dead is the new alive

Live as if you’re dying? No.

I wanna live like the world is ending slooowly or like the sun will combust in 5 billion years.

Or like this whole galaxy will no longer exist one day.

No trace of us, no trace of anything at all one day.

Size is also relative, we could be a noodle on a giants plate waiting to be eaten. But to us, we are the world.

When everything restarts itself, I will not be here to see it. Neither will you. We are connected by this, in fact.

This solar system is like our little secret.

Although we will not be here to see everything go out in a nuclear radiation infused beam of white light.

Or when this money-labor hungry system runs itself to the ground and humanity can no longer sustain itself.

Whichever comes first, I will be long dead by then- in the earth somewhere peacefully oblivious to everything.

Only the universe will have my memories. Everywhere I’ve been, everything I’ve touched, every word I’ve spoken, all the thoughts I’ve had and the flowers I’ve picked.

The plants I’ve grown and the distance I’ve traveled, will be but what is left in the wind.

I want to plant a tree, so that when the day comes that I am at last released from this existence, I would have given the earth a piece of me that can live on longer than me.

At least something will continue to thrive and clean the air when I am gone, and maybe that tree will house robins, or become dented by hail one year.

Maybe it will be an oak tree (I haven’t decided) and drop acorns for the squirrels in autumn. An owl could even burrow in its trunk.

10 billion years from now, the constellations askew- our lives were all but just a blink. No human had taken a breath for a while now. No dog has barked, no bird has chirped.

The silence is only cut up by the pulsating sounds of stars.

Let the water flow through, and watch it begin again.

[nik4yla]

[nik4yla]

i feel my absolute most ☆*:.｡.feminine!.｡.:*☆ when i’m wearing a size XXXXXL shirt and jeans that drag along the floor like a wedding dress trail and then i put on a skirt and feel like a tall brick. life is a neverending series of puzzles and i can’t figure them out.

[nik4yla]

was so brave and saw two horror films in the theatre and was shit scared beforehand, both got ruined because the evil guys looked like idiot evil guys from other pieces of media

[nik4yla]

why is it so hard to find a lunch meat that isn’t straight up a carcinogen

[nik4yla]

bring back weird little bands with shitty lead singers who make weird little songs for shitty fuckin people

[nik4yla]

i so get why they thought women were witches because if i was walking around in that big ass frock with greasy unwashed hair in my luteal phase i would have killed rodents and yelled at the men and then begged the townspeople to kill me